Charity for July: @marigoldmusicprogram www.marigoldmusicprogram.com/ If you became a Patron AFTER July 9th your name will appear in the credits of the next video (this was prerecorded) Small channel shoutouts for July: Saint Andrewism ruclips.net/channel/UCN__G2hSqRKuqedN3M0JCDg Goody two shoes ruclips.net/channel/UCP9R8zjp-iS767mA7SdM0qg Finnjamin Fox ruclips.net/channel/UCqRukfgKf-tV8kMK7VMs_1g Voice notes into the void ruclips.net/user/manonmancombat Chelsi not Chelsea ruclips.net/user/TMCMRD
Your purpose should be building a productive family and setting a high standard for your future generations to come. But you yourself has been caught up in the politics of the same diseases you are fighting against.
So your a No-tep or nah? She just explained she wasn't built to just give a man a family. When you start having a period, can deliver a child from your body and have to deal with high amounts of oestrogen in your body then talk to her. 👿 tf
As a black male therapist, this is one of the reasons that I came into this field. To help black men correctly process this generational trauma so that they don't externalize it and do harm to black woman and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Because honestly we do need to be holding each other accountable more than anyone else.
same with my sister, she got a pHD in clinical counseling so she could help educate counselors on incorporating cultural differences into their methodologies so more POC feel like they are heard. That and she wanted more South Asians in clinical counseling so that our communities begin to identify and fix the generational traumas we have.
what the black community needs more than anything else is a positive black patriarchy. all the other races have this, and that's why they're successful.
Agreed. As soon as she made that connection, I was like, ALRIGHT. It's so obvious it's blinding. It's like they think they are being coy, but nah son, everyone can what you really want. I like the Jeff Bezos analogy she gave.
People be preaching black lives matter but will kick their sons out of their home for being gay. Make it make sense. And this is especially true here in the Caribbean. The homophobia is practically normalised.
Oh my god... My dad is a hotep. I didn't know there was a word for it. He's genuinely awful. The way how he degrades black women and feminism is astounding, he claims to be oh so holy yet continued to abuse me and my sister while growing up. I'm glad I got rid of him for now.
As the son of a hotep, it took me until leaving home for college to recognize the issues and realize it’s just another trap. Forcing myself to be more uncomfortable and listening more to other marginalized people allowed me to start doing the work. The harder part I’m facing is being a mirror for my other hoteps to see the errors in their logic
Similar here. Thankfully I had other less toxic pan African influences in my upbringing but man... it's gotta be similE to what fundamentalist Christians go through
As a black man I think all of us have a little hotep in us because when we learn about the system that messed us up for a long time the first thing we do is aim to try to “fight back” and of course we run into the hotep rhetoric. I knew I had some issues when I started comparing the lgbt to supremacists that was my wake up call but I think since majority of us come from struggle we’re trying to get back at the ones the wronged us so bad the hotep concept is powerful for many of us brothers
@@BlackNella Yeah when you actually think about the hotep concept it’s basis is surrounded by the need to fight back and win. So of course to win you need an army. So hotep creates this patriarchal mindset that deems anything that derails creating an army of black men to fight against white supremacy then you’re the enemy. So if your a pro-choice black women who chooses to in there words “erase the black race” then you’re the enemy. If your a black feminist who believes women should be treated as individuals is an enemy because they believe it removes the men and family which removes the “army”. If your lgbt then you don’t produce kids so to them you’re an agent built to destroy the “army”. It’s a bunch of hurt men seeking retaliation, so they take it out on the community I had to deal with this fact.
Wouldn’t it be nice if masculinity meant minding your own business! Also, hoteps purposefully ignore the actual threats of white supremacy on their everyday in lieu of sexism and prejudice.
@@gc.96 Additionally, an interesting phenomenon among the extreme hoteps (including separatists) is that they are known to tolerate and mingle with actual white supremacists because there goals are the same. Its def weird but I've seen it before!!
@@gc.96 I think there are many folks that do that in the black community besides hoteps like the Candace Owens types, black women vs trans, religious folks, light skins vs dark) I think we’re just very divisive entirely and that’s the main issues.
Idk if my comments showed up in the live chat but thank you so much Kadija for the shout out. Thank you for the perspective and display of empathy as well. It's a difficult topic to navigate and you showed more grace than most of these guys are owed from your stand point. Salute.
Not going to lie but I sometimes do feel a type of way when I don't see black couples (gay or straight) in the media. Like now we've gotten all interracial couples and while there's nothing wrong with that, I find it a problem when you do it in REPLACE of black couples.
@Audra at Home where are you finding these dark-skinned women? It's always a white girl with a Black man and then their mixed (and always light skinned) daughter with some white boy lol.
@@tonyt1680 True, I live in CO, and BM w/ WW is HEAVILY prevalent here. A much smaller % of BW with WM, but it also somewhat common here. Most Black couples are older generations like Gen X or Boomers.
okay, I see that sponsorship! As a young African black woman in her 20 somethings... who sees her aunties, mothers, cousins, and friends who are both straight and queer in you, I would love for you to know that we love and are proud of you.YAAAS GALL!!!
My first unfortunate encountered hoteps would be in my early teens I was confused as to why he was degrading black women about our hair?? Ever since I've been looking at the black community with a whole different view, things that make you question who's benefit is this in. A lot of the politics learned growing up are in fact generational curses!!! I refuse to be unhappy and feel unsafe by the very ones I encourage and protect so muchhh. How can you turn around and denounce my existence? Sometimes it's hard but you have to let go, skin-folk ain't always kin-folk.
Informative. Laid back. Entertaining. I love how they explain that there's Black men who are problematic without attacking them and actually validating their experiences (I didn't know that was possible and I think it's one of those situations where they [Hoteps] don't deserve sympathy but they definitely need help). Point is, you're a royal. Thank you❤
Mma Khumalo, Sawubona, as a Male , i have a number of very difficult Hoteps in my family , my worldview and my perception of the normalcy of my heritage is not a reaction to Belungu. I decided to not throw Hoteps away for the exact same reason why Black women have trouble calling the police because they are afraid their tormentor might be murdered. We are in a very grey and murky area where we have to protect the elements that poison our souls. i don't know that have enough patience to help a Hotep, i think I am not built for it but the best i can do is not write them off because they need a "home".
Thank you for this. Gawd, i hate that we (as a species, TBH) have such a long and storied history of fighting one kind of oppression by propping up another.
I've also seen hoteps post videos encouraging 'replacement theory' where they celebrate African women having 6+ kids and European women having fewer kids. It's agitating because fewer kids is directly connected to women getting more education and bodily autonomy.
I really enjoyed this video and thank you for this!! As a Black man myself, it is so important that I continue having these discussions with people (especially straight Black men) and creating safe spaces for queer and trans women of color (especially Black queer and trans women); thank you again and love your videos/content🙌🏾🙌🏾
I mean, if you just mention the stonewall riots and don’t really go that deep into it I could see that, but I have a feeling based on their wording that’s not the case…
@@celanba yup and people still wear Milk shirts in Wilton manors and believe he’s the hero. I’ve had to teach old white gay men (community leaders unfortunately) that are literally three times my age about Sylvia Riviera and Marsha P Johnson. The misinformation and white washing is so insidious Edit for spelling
Really happy to see this as a member of the LGBT community. Being a minority never gives you an excuse to be shitty to other minorities, and that weird division and hatred only makes us all weaker.
Girlll!!! I recently ended a talk stage with a hotep. I have family members who are Lgbtqia in my life and that was not going to fly for me. He also would post content about how women cheat more than men and more. Sigh. He had to go LOL.
As a dark skin black woman I felt all of this so much. And even though I’m cis and straight I never have identified with feminist Bc to me it was never created for me. It’s so interested how many people are stuck trying to attain standards that they don’t have to meet. Hyper masculinity and hyper femininity are sooo real and they are suffocating
I am so glad you decided to speak on this topic, I dont feel its touched on enough. You Go Girl!! (Yes, I am older a older Black Woman & I love your channel!)
The black community has so much to unpack but so few are willing to… I listen to my uncle (he’s an hotep through and through) and it’s so infuriating the way he always tries to convince people of my family that he’s right and almost no one calls him out? because he’s a man and supposedly knows what he’s talking about? Mix it with religion (he’s extremely religious) and it’s just… SO toxic and disheartening.
Within our black communities, women showing up have become the norm and the expectation. If the women will stand back and allow them to handle their own issues and challenges then they have no choice, its either stand up or perish. Most black men have been carried for decades by their mothers, sisters, wifes, cousins, and everybody else. Most black men have not been shown how and what to do in their homes let alone in their communities. I am a black women! We need to hold them accountable, praise effort, but encourage them to strive for better. Its black women that are in the way!
“Women showing up have become the norm and the expectation” Say it again!! 🗣🗣 And everybody looks at you crazy when you don’t bend over backwards for the men in the community.
Don't always comment but love the content! I'm straight Cis black man who was raised by a father whose on Hotep level 1million. Love all the social commentary and perceptive you provide.
I really want to get a video explaining why you feel like she/her pronouns are an “ideal of white womanhood” like you can call yourself they/them no problem! But to say that she/her pronouns are an “ideal of white womanhood” imma need a video on that cuz it sounds very CLOSE to saying black women can’t be considered she/her even though we live in a westernized racist society. Also eastern societies are capable and have done the same violence you are blaming the west for. Either way would love to see a video with you breaking down your thought process about that.
Your comment made me think about lots of things!When Khadija said that I really felt it, even though I, a black woman, use she/her pronouns - but it was very interesting to see your comment and another perspective. Personally, what I understood from Khadija's affirmation was that the female gender in the west is very much built for white women. And since gender is a social construct, a lot of ideas, expectations, behaviors etc. are rooted in each gender. As a black woman, I feel like this female gender - the social construct - does not speak to me at all. Not only that, I feel like people around me don't see me as a woman neither. So I understood that Khadija was telling us that here in the West is very hard to label yourself a woman while being black, because you might find that you do not meet the expectations. However, I don't think they necessarily mean black women can't use she/her pronouns; just that for them it made more sense to use they/them. Khadija even says they labels herself as a "black woman", from what I interpreted that it's precisely the west "white female" construct that doesn't fit them. Also, I feel that as black we can and should use she/her pronouns if we want, but I think the "femininity" (couldn't find other word) we claim is not exactly the same as the one in the female gender socially created for and by white people. From this perspective, I think what Khadija said is true, so we can either opt to renounce she/her pronouns or reclaim it while giving it new meanings. Nway, I don't know if what I said makes sense and hope you won't mind me replying your comment (since it was direct to Khadija, not me). Sorry for my broken English, this is not my first language.
@@02TheAnne yeah I think this is very dangerous rhetoric and I hate to say it. My womanhood is not defined with how white supremacy or people who subscribe to that ideals look at me and if if you changing your pronouns because of how other people look at you then that is just playing into white surpramacy. My womanhood has been questioned but that makes me no less of a she/her or a woman cuz it’s what I personally and spiritually identify with. If you don’t spiritually identify with womanhood than ok but to wrap womanhood around an oppressive system like that and center WHITE woman and “western” society like we were people (women) before all these harmful societal constructs like…you really not working through the trauma you are playing into it. Very problematic and I think it’s another form of misogynoir. But then again I could be wrong. Khadijah calling themselves they/them not hurting me the reasoning is just not making sense and sounds like remixed white supremacy to me. But I am always open to respectful discourse to understand. Also I know there has been a rise in femininity discourse and some can be problematic (similar to how anything in a group can have problematic groups even feminism) but at the end of the day If personally a black woman wants to be feminine. She can. Because black women were feminine beings way before these constructs where even though of. So now you saying someone spiritual expression is not attainable or real because of the bigotry of other people. We need more nuance in these convos. Cuz it’s really about choice. If a BW wants to be feminine she can and if she wants to be in her masculine…she can. But the person who should make that decision is the black women based off of her own spiritual aura not what other people or society project on her. People/society project onto trans women “not being women” all the time but it does not and should not stop them from expressing their identity or femininity. Sooo the math is not adding up for me.
@@chioma916 so are you calling yourself they/them because you are non binary or because you feel like a system does not “allow” you to be a she/her? Because if it’s the latter than I am confused…because that is not how they/them or non binary people were introduced to me at all. Nonetheless I respect your decision.
I want to add that in no way am I trying to not respect the identities of non binary people or am I debating these people rights to express themselves in whatever way they want. I am asking Khadija to explain to learn and try to understand. However they do not owe me that and whether I agree with their reasoning or not. I will respect their pronouns.
i'm really glad you made that point about "girl boss," it helped explain some of my discomfort when men say "i'm a girl dad!" i get that they're being proud of their daughters, but it feels like trying to prove their not disappointed they didn't get a son. I liked what you said about it needing to be egalitarian, it's the same. Why aren't they just excited to be dads?
I appreciate everything you said. I would argue that patriarchy isn't just a Western European construct. It's a cross-cultural construct. It exists in nearly every cultur the world over. It came over with us, and many men don't want to give up that privilege in the march toward equality.
@@malindarayallen Oh you're back. Yeah, many west and central west African cultures were and still don't perceive the sexes in the way that the west does. Keep in mind, these gender norms were tailored by and for Europeans during feudalism -or even further, classical Greece. You can also compare how European and African languages refer to people. If you speak English, French, German, etc. you address people on whether they're masculine or feminine when that isn't the case for many African languages. I'll see if I can some documents verifying this.
You are so sweet and such a comfortable person to watch even when you’re talking through heavy topics! I really appreciate your analysis and delivery and honesty. You’re really cool, Khadija
You talked about hoteps and there's a black Facebook group here in Brazil who claim that white Europeans who brought "homosexuality" to black people and also say that homosexuality is an white European invention (I'm not lying this group exists and caused a lot of controversy within the black community)
@African Sun That, or they know and don't care, and they see it as a convenient lie to manipulate the masses. Considering how pretty much EVERY authoritarian movement EVER has used the existence of people that aren't zedd/cis/heteronormative as a scare tactic with the more conservative people in their population, it doesn't really matter which; it's still cruel.
Part of why I want to study gender and sexuality is because there’s simply not enough varied discourse on the experience of being a gay black man. It could be I’m not looking in the right places, but so much of what I see is centered on sex instead of how sex plays a part in the formation of gay black men’s existence and how they navigate it. Anyway, I’ma be sitting here at 1:15 waiting for the drop like I’m clocking in a for a shift at work.
Returned here after Dababy's performance where he shamed Megan and talked about gays sucking bananas in parking lot. And of course TI and Lil Boosie, the most notorious misogynists and homophobes defended him, and said their own dumb stuff. There is always solidarity among the hoteps.
This was amazing! You addressed something that’s rarely discussed in our community and how toxic this thought pattern of the patriarchal norms is damaging to, not only those who don’t fit in that system but to the black community as a whole. My family subscribes to patriarchal behavior and it’s disheartening; I feel that more poc need to examine this topic. Thank you for breaking this down in a very digestible way.
It is very real. As a Salvadoran, I have had the uncomfortable conversation with another Salvadoran who doesn't believe in systemic racism, even though he had just talked about how his British mother was able to go through the airport with great acid.
When you have to live with this problem on a tiny territory like the island I'm from it's even more tiring. I was discussing this very thing with my mom regarding a brother whose activism recently resulted in him being locked-up for almost a month. I supported him and his actions and I know my mom through her org activities supports him too. I was about to translate his thank you video (which he posted on youtube just after his release) where he was explaining how he got arrested and where he was thanking folks for supporting him. My goal was to share the info with our caribbean anti colonialist brothers. I just stopped dead when I heard him go out of nowhere into a rant which is really an illustration of the issues you just addressed here. I couldn't watch the video to the end. I was disgusted. How many of us kept showing up for him each time a protest was not ending well for him and in a thank you video he's saying "faya burn"? For real? Most people here feel they can't really be themselves in public spaces for fear of violence, that's how bad the homophobia is on this island but for a while there, it almost felt like things were slowly improving... I'm sorry to say my younger brother has turned into one of these authoritarian Hoteps.
I was once involved with a hotep sista... and then she came out the closet. I feel like she was projecting onto others the fact that she didn’t accept herself. We lost contact but I hope she’s found healing. Great video and insight 🙏🏽🔥
Very interesting video and I enjoyed the discussion. That is something I do love about you, Khadija, and why I subscribed. I don't agree with everything yet I absolutely LOVE your openness, the wisdom you share, and the fact that you show and inspire differing perspectives on a variety of subjects. That is the path that leads to a more cohesive humankind. And I celebrate you for that!!!! YES, I am TIRED and need the Brothahs to step up and stop treating us like horses. They ride us to death to get where they need to go while also beating on us.
I love the song at the end!!! *Misty* is one of my favorite old songs and *your voice is spectacular. Thank you for being so beautifully random.* 🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰
the "right" is often unified because they want to conserve some idea of status quo. the "left" is often arguing about what the future should be, so they often split into the factions. otherwise, i agree with your point. marginalized groups often lean into the prevailing narrative (be it patriarchal, imperialist, capitalist, etc.) instead of liberating themselves.
I remember reading some internet comments once upon a time about how homosexuality is a European thing ie a White thing and only white women are lesbians. I was....so confused...
I’m so grateful for your channel and your platform. Your patient convey your thoughts well and have so much research in your videos. It’s really great to see. Channels like yours For Harriet Tee and As Told By Kenya are just so refreshing! Black women really just informing the masses on our experiences and giving it a voice. This generation and the generations to come are so lucky to have this form of media to reference in the future. Keep up the amazing work! Edited: I think this topic has a tie with domestic violence too for black men to assert dominance. It not only feeds there ego but it’s like all that they can’t be in the world due to the limitations of societal oppression they try to exert on their partners. It’s kind of to have some sort of dominance and authority in their lives. I’m not saying all instances of DV are like that but I’m sure this is rooted in that. Also, your point about violence to trans and queer people is also fitting for this topic. It’s all a dominance thing
I’m so happy I watched this video to the end. It seems to me as u talked yourself self out of the argument. In which is the 1st step of becoming a Hotep 😂. So even tho the premise seemed rocky, I loved your line of thinking. And I do appreciate your understanding of the pathology of Blk male hood.
I really appreciated this video and I like how you talked about the subjects. I'm a queer and trans black person and I can relate to a lot of what you were talking about. Also I like all your videos lol so I like the ones with a lot of research and also the ones with out too. Thank you for making this video💛
3 года назад+1
Haven't even watched yet, but I'm so ready for this conversation!!!!
The community is never going to agree on everything. It's important for us to continue to have healthy debate over these issues. Since the community is being attacked we have to come together over issues were we find common ground. Real change requires different groups of people coming together to work for a common goal. While I keep hearing about these alternatives to the system. I don't see the vision that is being pushed outside of buzzwords. I feel like the best way to move is to continue to speak on issues that you feel like are not being addressed but come together to get real policy and change were you agree. Ps. I think the bigger issue is a lot of those people are just faking it for profit.
I remember reading a book about the history of black women in America and it included how both the first wave of feminism and abolitionism both did not fully include them. Especially with intersectionalism of social issues becoming a more prevalent topic, it really feels like this should be more widely taught and discussed. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you aren’t racist or transphobic; being part of a racial minority does not mean you don’t perpetuate sexism or homophobia. I’ve been hard pressed to find people who genuinely think intersectionalism in all these modern day movements is a thing to pay attention to, and that in itself is just another issue added on top.
I feel really uncomfortable with how Black men claim to own Black women and lean towards degrading Black women who date outside of the Black community. Many RUclipsrs I used to watch often talked about how it's impossible to be pro-Black and love whom ever you please. As if sleeping or being romantic with someone who is not Black erases your own experience. When I tell people I have no racial preference romantically at times I feel like Black men online translate that to me not wanting them or me hating them. Should I care what they think? Because I don't like that they think I hate them but I should be free to do as I please! I'm conflicted.
Nah. Do what you wanna do. We are *not* property, that's the whole point of the Abolition. Never trust someone telling you that you're not Black enough for not doing this or that. That's bullshit. Especially when a fair (hehe) share of them prefer White women anyway 🤷🏾♀️
Who’s here after the DaBaby drama? I came back to this video because it seemed fitting for the situation. It’s sad to see these homophobic attitudes play out in real time.
Yknow... I don't know which parts of your videos I like more. The discourse, intelligent interesting thought provoking and revealing. Or your beautiful singing.
Spot on. I have some family members that hold similar views and it's not just the men. The women are even turning a corner with seeing the patriarchy but still hold the homophobia. I can see a slow awakening so I don't preach. But I'm like, y'all...it's all upholding wyt.supemacy 🤦🏾♀️ all of it. It's the internalized evangelical components black folks hold too... Great video.
Stokely Carmichael did a speech and he said that homophobia is a symptom of white supremecy and how black(African) culture is more accepting by nature I found that so funny because that's still true but that grace is given to literally everyone else except our own people!
Charity for July: @marigoldmusicprogram www.marigoldmusicprogram.com/
If you became a Patron AFTER July 9th your name will appear in the credits of the next video (this was prerecorded)
Small channel shoutouts for July:
Saint Andrewism ruclips.net/channel/UCN__G2hSqRKuqedN3M0JCDg
Goody two shoes ruclips.net/channel/UCP9R8zjp-iS767mA7SdM0qg
Finnjamin Fox ruclips.net/channel/UCqRukfgKf-tV8kMK7VMs_1g
Voice notes into the void ruclips.net/user/manonmancombat
Chelsi not Chelsea ruclips.net/user/TMCMRD
Your purpose should be building a productive family and setting a high standard for your future generations to come. But you yourself has been caught up in the politics of the same diseases you are fighting against.
So your a No-tep or nah? She just explained she wasn't built to just give a man a family. When you start having a period, can deliver a child from your body and have to deal with high amounts of oestrogen in your body then talk to her. 👿 tf
That sounds like a movie that would absolutely make me livid..
Your singing at the end was so beautiful 🥰
Please go back to Africa.
As a black male therapist, this is one of the reasons that I came into this field. To help black men correctly process this generational trauma so that they don't externalize it and do harm to black woman and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Because honestly we do need to be holding each other accountable more than anyone else.
Thank you for all you do David.
Thanks man you doing God's work 🙌
same with my sister, she got a pHD in clinical counseling so she could help educate counselors on incorporating cultural differences into their methodologies so more POC feel like they are heard. That and she wanted more South Asians in clinical counseling so that our communities begin to identify and fix the generational traumas we have.
ruclips.net/video/PS9ecTC_2AY/видео.html
what the black community needs more than anything else is a positive black patriarchy. all the other races have this, and that's why they're successful.
Hoteps wanting the same power over black women as white men have over white women is the most concise explanation of those guys i've ever heard.
Agreed. As soon as she made that connection, I was like, ALRIGHT. It's so obvious it's blinding. It's like they think they are being coy, but nah son, everyone can what you really want. I like the Jeff Bezos analogy she gave.
They want the same power over black women that white men have over them. That's what it actually is.
They want the same power but don’t provide the same resources and protection. A whole joke.
Preach it!!!!
@@youramess8929 Now YOU hit the nail on the head!
People be preaching black lives matter but will kick their sons out of their home for being gay. Make it make sense. And this is especially true here in the Caribbean. The homophobia is practically normalised.
not 'practically' but fully normalised....at least in jamaica
@@BeautifulEarthJa it’s normalized everywhere
#BlackGayLivesMatter
#BlackTransLivesMatter
@@BeautifulEarthJa #BlackNBLivesMatter
Oh my god... My dad is a hotep. I didn't know there was a word for it. He's genuinely awful. The way how he degrades black women and feminism is astounding, he claims to be oh so holy yet continued to abuse me and my sister while growing up. I'm glad I got rid of him for now.
Yet they will say “atleast I’m around!”
@@onlychild5213 An absent father is 100% better than an abusive one.
As the son of a hotep, it took me until leaving home for college to recognize the issues and realize it’s just another trap. Forcing myself to be more uncomfortable and listening more to other marginalized people allowed me to start doing the work. The harder part I’m facing is being a mirror for my other hoteps to see the errors in their logic
Similar here. Thankfully I had other less toxic pan African influences in my upbringing but man... it's gotta be similE to what fundamentalist Christians go through
As a black man I think all of us have a little hotep in us because when we learn about the system that messed us up for a long time the first thing we do is aim to try to “fight back” and of course we run into the hotep rhetoric. I knew I had some issues when I started comparing the lgbt to supremacists that was my wake up call but I think since majority of us come from struggle we’re trying to get back at the ones the wronged us so bad the hotep concept is powerful for many of us brothers
It’s all about forcing yourself to be uncomfortable and listening and working.
I love seeing more people come into that :) every one of you /gen
@@imanigordon6803 that's real
@@BlackNella Yeah when you actually think about the hotep concept it’s basis is surrounded by the need to fight back and win. So of course to win you need an army. So hotep creates this patriarchal mindset that deems anything that derails creating an army of black men to fight against white supremacy then you’re the enemy. So if your a pro-choice black women who chooses to in there words “erase the black race” then you’re the enemy. If your a black feminist who believes women should be treated as individuals is an enemy because they believe it removes the men and family which removes the “army”. If your lgbt then you don’t produce kids so to them you’re an agent built to destroy the “army”. It’s a bunch of hurt men seeking retaliation, so they take it out on the community I had to deal with this fact.
We shaking the table!!!!
loool
@@KhadijaMbowe How can I speak with you
Glad y'all doing it.
Wouldn’t it be nice if masculinity meant minding your own business! Also, hoteps purposefully ignore the actual threats of white supremacy on their everyday in lieu of sexism and prejudice.
Hoteps are agents of white supremacy, why do you think FBI allows them to roam free ?
@@gc.96 how are they agents? Explain
@@imanigordon6803 they create division among black people allowing white supremacy to thrive, divide and conquer.
@@gc.96 Additionally, an interesting phenomenon among the extreme hoteps (including separatists) is that they are known to tolerate and mingle with actual white supremacists because there goals are the same. Its def weird but I've seen it before!!
@@gc.96 I think there are many folks that do that in the black community besides hoteps like the Candace Owens types, black women vs trans, religious folks, light skins vs dark) I think we’re just very divisive entirely and that’s the main issues.
“the math ain’t mathin’” really got me, Khadija 😂
Idk if my comments showed up in the live chat but thank you so much Kadija for the shout out.
Thank you for the perspective and display of empathy as well. It's a difficult topic to navigate and you showed more grace than most of these guys are owed from your stand point.
Salute.
Yaaazzzzzzzz for the gathering and shout out of my favorite RUclipsrs!!!!!! Love you guys!
Not going to lie but I sometimes do feel a type of way when I don't see black couples (gay or straight) in the media. Like now we've gotten all interracial couples and while there's nothing wrong with that, I find it a problem when you do it in REPLACE of black couples.
Yes!!! Where's the black love? And The way they constantly pair a dark skinned woman with a problematic, toxic af yt man? Over it
@Audra at Home where are you finding these dark-skinned women? It's always a white girl with a Black man and then their mixed (and always light skinned) daughter with some white boy lol.
It's kind of reflecting reality though lol
@@tonyt1680 I don’t think so. Don’t see many white men with black women. Plenty of white women with black men though.
@@tonyt1680 True, I live in CO, and BM w/ WW is HEAVILY prevalent here. A much smaller % of BW with WM, but it also somewhat common here. Most Black couples are older generations like Gen X or Boomers.
okay, I see that sponsorship! As a young African black woman in her 20 somethings... who sees her aunties, mothers, cousins, and friends who are both straight and queer in you, I would love for you to know that we love and are proud of you.YAAAS GALL!!!
My first unfortunate encountered hoteps would be in my early teens I was confused as to why he was degrading black women about our hair?? Ever since I've been looking at the black community with a whole different view, things that make you question who's benefit is this in. A lot of the politics learned growing up are in fact generational curses!!! I refuse to be unhappy and feel unsafe by the very ones I encourage and protect so muchhh. How can you turn around and denounce my existence? Sometimes it's hard but you have to let go, skin-folk ain't always kin-folk.
@Kennedy Thedford Hotels. 😂😂😂. In fact it's great to distort the name Hotep, it further adds to their humiliation.
“Instead of fighting for a piece of this shitty little pie, why not throw that whole thing out and make a new one?” 🤯 💯
Whenever someone says hotep the first thing that comes to my mind is the character Sharif the film menace to society.
Informative. Laid back. Entertaining.
I love how they explain that there's Black men who are problematic without attacking them and actually validating their experiences (I didn't know that was possible and I think it's one of those situations where they [Hoteps] don't deserve sympathy but they definitely need help). Point is, you're a royal. Thank you❤
Agreed 👏
(just to clarify, I believe the creator goes by they/them pronouns-based on their bio 😽)
@@s0Shi thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll correct that in a few
Mma Khumalo, Sawubona, as a Male , i have a number of very difficult Hoteps in my family , my worldview and my perception of the normalcy of my heritage is not a reaction to Belungu. I decided to not throw Hoteps away for the exact same reason why Black women have trouble calling the police because they are afraid their tormentor might be murdered. We are in a very grey and murky area where we have to protect the elements that poison our souls. i don't know that have enough patience to help a Hotep, i think I am not built for it but the best i can do is not write them off because they need a "home".
@@thando4523 saze salithwala idombolo😅😅
@@PHlophe I think that's the worst: knowing that someone is problematic and still having to love them. But we make it work as Black people👌
Yes, these are the conversations we should be having a black people. Much love from South Africa!
🇿🇦
Their facial expression sums it up, for me!
😳
Me too😭💯
Khadija uses they/them pronouns 🙂
@@snowpocalypse69 Thank you for the reminder. I corrected my comment.
Thank you for this. Gawd, i hate that we (as a species, TBH) have such a long and storied history of fighting one kind of oppression by propping up another.
It's a vicious cycle
I've also seen hoteps post videos encouraging 'replacement theory' where they celebrate African women having 6+ kids and European women having fewer kids. It's agitating because fewer kids is directly connected to women getting more education and bodily autonomy.
as a cis gay white man, this taught me so much. thank you for making this and speaking about this topic.
As I say, people don’t want equality, they want privilege.. *edit* [some] people.
Btw, hayyy, fellow Taurean ♉️ !!!
I really enjoyed this video and thank you for this!! As a Black man myself, it is so important that I continue having these discussions with people (especially straight Black men) and creating safe spaces for queer and trans women of color (especially Black queer and trans women); thank you again and love your videos/content🙌🏾🙌🏾
how the hell do you talk about the Stonewall riots...and not talk about the black and brown trans activists? that's the whole thing.....
I mean, if you just mention the stonewall riots and don’t really go that deep into it I could see that, but I have a feeling based on their wording that’s not the case…
Marsha.
They made a whole movie in like 2015 that didn't center black and brown trans activists. Made up some white gay guy to be the star.
@@celanba OH GOD i remember that. what a goddamn joke.
@@celanba yup and people still wear Milk shirts in Wilton manors and believe he’s the hero. I’ve had to teach old white gay men (community leaders unfortunately) that are literally three times my age about Sylvia Riviera and Marsha P Johnson. The misinformation and white washing is so insidious
Edit for spelling
Really happy to see this as a member of the LGBT community. Being a minority never gives you an excuse to be shitty to other minorities, and that weird division and hatred only makes us all weaker.
Girlll!!! I recently ended a talk stage with a hotep. I have family members who are Lgbtqia in my life and that was not going to fly for me. He also would post content about how women cheat more than men and more. Sigh. He had to go LOL.
The way I been waiting on someone to finally talk about this
As a dark skin black woman I felt all of this so much. And even though I’m cis and straight I never have identified with feminist Bc to me it was never created for me. It’s so interested how many people are stuck trying to attain standards that they don’t have to meet. Hyper masculinity and hyper femininity are sooo real and they are suffocating
I am so glad you decided to speak on this topic, I dont feel its touched on enough. You Go Girl!! (Yes, I am older a older Black Woman & I love your channel!)
The black community has so much to unpack but so few are willing to… I listen to my uncle (he’s an hotep through and through) and it’s so infuriating the way he always tries to convince people of my family that he’s right and almost no one calls him out? because he’s a man and supposedly knows what he’s talking about? Mix it with religion (he’s extremely religious) and it’s just… SO toxic and disheartening.
Within our black communities, women showing up have become the norm and the expectation. If the women will stand back and allow them to handle their own issues and challenges then they have no choice, its either stand up or perish. Most black men have been carried for decades by their mothers, sisters, wifes, cousins, and everybody else. Most black men have not been shown how and what to do in their homes let alone in their communities. I am a black women! We need to hold them accountable, praise effort, but encourage them to strive for better. Its black women that are in the way!
“Women showing up have become the norm and the expectation”
Say it again!! 🗣🗣
And everybody looks at you crazy when you don’t bend over backwards for the men in the community.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
If Hoteps had the opportunity to control a city or town in any way shape or form their system would quickly begin to look like fascism.
Don't always comment but love the content! I'm straight Cis black man who was raised by a father whose on Hotep level 1million. Love all the social commentary and perceptive you provide.
You singing at the end really helped combat the stress of thinking about the hoteps🤚
the singing at the end is such a treat, we are spoiled!
Facts! Velvety smooth vocals. Would buy the e.p.
Misty was my Grama’s song. Thank you for bringing her to me this Sunday. May you have a calm week.
I really want to get a video explaining why you feel like she/her pronouns are an “ideal of white womanhood” like you can call yourself they/them no problem! But to say that she/her pronouns are an “ideal of white womanhood” imma need a video on that cuz it sounds very CLOSE to saying black women can’t be considered she/her even though we live in a westernized racist society.
Also eastern societies are capable and have done the same violence you are blaming the west for.
Either way would love to see a video with you breaking down your thought process about that.
Your comment made me think about lots of things!When Khadija said that I really felt it, even though I, a black woman, use she/her pronouns - but it was very interesting to see your comment and another perspective.
Personally, what I understood from Khadija's affirmation was that the female gender in the west is very much built for white women. And since gender is a social construct, a lot of ideas, expectations, behaviors etc. are rooted in each gender. As a black woman, I feel like this female gender - the social construct - does not speak to me at all. Not only that, I feel like people around me don't see me as a woman neither. So I understood that Khadija was telling us that here in the West is very hard to label yourself a woman while being black, because you might find that you do not meet the expectations. However, I don't think they necessarily mean black women can't use she/her pronouns; just that for them it made more sense to use they/them. Khadija even says they labels herself as a "black woman", from what I interpreted that it's precisely the west "white female" construct that doesn't fit them.
Also, I feel that as black we can and should use she/her pronouns if we want, but I think the "femininity" (couldn't find other word) we claim is not exactly the same as the one in the female gender socially created for and by white people. From this perspective, I think what Khadija said is true, so we can either opt to renounce she/her pronouns or reclaim it while giving it new meanings.
Nway, I don't know if what I said makes sense and hope you won't mind me replying your comment (since it was direct to Khadija, not me). Sorry for my broken English, this is not my first language.
@@02TheAnne your english is far from “broken”-you raised many nuanced points that i agree with 1000% as a fellow Black femme they/them
@@02TheAnne yeah I think this is very dangerous rhetoric and I hate to say it. My womanhood is not defined with how white supremacy or people who subscribe to that ideals look at me and if if you changing your pronouns because of how other people look at you then that is just playing into white surpramacy. My womanhood has been questioned but that makes me no less of a she/her or a woman cuz it’s what I personally and spiritually identify with. If you don’t spiritually identify with womanhood than ok but to wrap womanhood around an oppressive system like that and center WHITE woman and “western” society like we were people (women) before all these harmful societal constructs like…you really not working through the trauma you are playing into it.
Very problematic and I think it’s another form of misogynoir. But then again I could be wrong. Khadijah calling themselves they/them not hurting me the reasoning is just not making sense and sounds like remixed white supremacy to me.
But I am always open to respectful discourse to understand.
Also I know there has been a rise in femininity discourse and some can be problematic (similar to how anything in a group can have problematic groups even feminism) but at the end of the day If personally a black woman wants to be feminine.
She can.
Because black women were feminine beings way before these constructs where even though of. So now you saying someone spiritual expression is not attainable or real because of the bigotry of other people.
We need more nuance in these convos. Cuz it’s really about choice. If a BW wants to be feminine she can and if she wants to be in her masculine…she can.
But the person who should make that decision is the black women based off of her own spiritual aura not what other people or society project on her.
People/society project onto trans women “not being women” all the time but it does not and should not stop them from expressing their identity or femininity. Sooo the math is not adding up for me.
@@chioma916 so are you calling yourself they/them because you are non binary or because you feel like a system does not “allow” you to be a she/her?
Because if it’s the latter than I am confused…because that is not how they/them or non binary people were introduced to me at all.
Nonetheless I respect your decision.
I want to add that in no way am I trying to not respect the identities of non binary people or am I debating these people rights to express themselves in whatever way they want. I am asking Khadija to explain to learn and try to understand.
However they do not owe me that and whether I agree with their reasoning or not. I will respect their pronouns.
i'm really glad you made that point about "girl boss," it helped explain some of my discomfort when men say "i'm a girl dad!" i get that they're being proud of their daughters, but it feels like trying to prove their not disappointed they didn't get a son. I liked what you said about it needing to be egalitarian, it's the same. Why aren't they just excited to be dads?
I appreciate everything you said. I would argue that patriarchy isn't just a Western European construct. It's a cross-cultural construct. It exists in nearly every cultur the world over. It came over with us, and many men don't want to give up that privilege in the march toward equality.
Do you have any citations to prove this?
@@mochilover7053 nope
@@malindarayallen Yeah, that's a problem. There is no evidence of patriarchy being ubiquitous throughout humanity.
@@mochilover7053 do you have citations to prove this lack of proof? 😂🤣😂🤣
@@malindarayallen Oh you're back. Yeah, many west and central west African cultures were and still don't perceive the sexes in the way that the west does. Keep in mind, these gender norms were tailored by and for Europeans during feudalism -or even further, classical Greece.
You can also compare how European and African languages refer to people. If you speak English, French, German, etc. you address people on whether they're masculine or feminine when that isn't the case for many African languages.
I'll see if I can some documents verifying this.
You are so sweet and such a comfortable person to watch even when you’re talking through heavy topics! I really appreciate your analysis and delivery and honesty. You’re really cool, Khadija
You talked about hoteps and there's a black Facebook group here in Brazil who claim that white Europeans who brought "homosexuality" to black people and also say that homosexuality is an white European invention (I'm not lying this group exists and caused a lot of controversy within the black community)
@African Sun Have you seen the documentary 'God Loves Uganda'? It's pretty upsetting. Religious fundamentalism is definitely feeding into this.
It's those same kinds of idiots over in Africa (don't remember exactly where; sorry) who accused gay people of corrupting lions.
@African Sun That, or they know and don't care, and they see it as a convenient lie to manipulate the masses. Considering how pretty much EVERY authoritarian movement EVER has used the existence of people that aren't zedd/cis/heteronormative as a scare tactic with the more conservative people in their population, it doesn't really matter which; it's still cruel.
@@christopherb501 First the frogs 🐸, now the lions? 🦁 😱
eu pensei que essa merda n tinha chego aqui ainda assustador
I need a “Say No To Hoteps“ shirt
Thanks for the idea!!!!! Gonna head right on over to the shirt design store and have one made!
“Don’t Hotep on me!”
@@WashingtonDC20032 drop the link when you do!!!
Part of why I want to study gender and sexuality is because there’s simply not enough varied discourse on the experience of being a gay black man. It could be I’m not looking in the right places, but so much of what I see is centered on sex instead of how sex plays a part in the formation of gay black men’s existence and how they navigate it.
Anyway, I’ma be sitting here at 1:15 waiting for the drop like I’m clocking in a for a shift at work.
How'd you like Moonlight (2016)?
Returned here after Dababy's performance where he shamed Megan and talked about gays sucking bananas in parking lot. And of course TI and Lil Boosie, the most notorious misogynists and homophobes defended him, and said their own dumb stuff. There is always solidarity among the hoteps.
I’m a mixed dude, this is important to talk about and deal with in our community, thanks for the awesome video ♥️
This was amazing! You addressed something that’s rarely discussed in our community and how toxic this thought pattern of the patriarchal norms is damaging to, not only those who don’t fit in that system but to the black community as a whole. My family subscribes to patriarchal behavior and it’s disheartening; I feel that more poc need to examine this topic. Thank you for breaking this down in a very digestible way.
your voice is so calming i love it omg
It is very real. As a Salvadoran, I have had the uncomfortable conversation with another Salvadoran who doesn't believe in systemic racism, even though he had just talked about how his British mother was able to go through the airport with great acid.
Looord
When you have to live with this problem on a tiny territory like the island I'm from it's even more tiring. I was discussing this very thing with my mom regarding a brother whose activism recently resulted in him being locked-up for almost a month. I supported him and his actions and I know my mom through her org activities supports him too. I was about to translate his thank you video (which he posted on youtube just after his release) where he was explaining how he got arrested and where he was thanking folks for supporting him. My goal was to share the info with our caribbean anti colonialist brothers. I just stopped dead when I heard him go out of nowhere into a rant which is really an illustration of the issues you just addressed here. I couldn't watch the video to the end. I was disgusted. How many of us kept showing up for him each time a protest was not ending well for him and in a thank you video he's saying "faya burn"? For real? Most people here feel they can't really be themselves in public spaces for fear of violence, that's how bad the homophobia is on this island but for a while there, it almost felt like things were slowly improving... I'm sorry to say my younger brother has turned into one of these authoritarian Hoteps.
This is so illuminating, and necessary.
You make me want to create content so badly. Thank you! Inspiring!
I'm an African man so hoteps are basically almost my whole male social circle. I have hotep tendencies too my god.
African here too...I agree
You would love @Intelexual Media, her videos are so informative, detailed, and *chefs kiss*. Iirc she did a video that touches on this as well.
Who thinks you're straight?! You're way to fun!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lol
I was once involved with a hotep sista... and then she came out the closet. I feel like she was projecting onto others the fact that she didn’t accept herself. We lost contact but I hope she’s found healing. Great video and insight 🙏🏽🔥
Very interesting video and I enjoyed the discussion. That is something I do love about you, Khadija, and why I subscribed. I don't agree with everything yet I absolutely LOVE your openness, the wisdom you share, and the fact that you show and inspire differing perspectives on a variety of subjects. That is the path that leads to a more cohesive humankind. And I celebrate you for that!!!!
YES, I am TIRED and need the Brothahs to step up and stop treating us like horses. They ride us to death to get where they need to go while also beating on us.
I love the song at the end!!! *Misty* is one of my favorite old songs and *your voice is spectacular. Thank you for being so beautifully random.* 🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰
i love the land acknowlegement, Aunty Khadija
I love this hair style on you so much! I know you’re gonna change it at some point but if you never do, it would still look amazing ❤️❤️
I've got nothing. I'm a white person who has only met 1 of the men you describe irl. But I'm commenting for channel engagement. Love you!
As The Grand Archpriest of The Church of the Algorithm, I bless this video with a comment.
I hate to distract by not commenting on the content of the video but WOW Khadija is soooooo beautiful
the "right" is often unified because they want to conserve some idea of status quo. the "left" is often arguing about what the future should be, so they often split into the factions. otherwise, i agree with your point. marginalized groups often lean into the prevailing narrative (be it patriarchal, imperialist, capitalist, etc.) instead of liberating themselves.
I have no idea what this is and am both excited and dreading to find out
You have the most beautiful complexion I have ever seen, you are just glowing and I'm here for it.
A crime against one of us is a crime against all of us.
I remember reading some internet comments once upon a time about how homosexuality is a European thing ie a White thing and only white women are lesbians. I was....so confused...
You summed it up beautifully these ppl need to do the spiritual work of finding out who they really are and what they want.
You're very funny. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
I’m so grateful for your channel and your platform. Your patient convey your thoughts well and have so much research in your videos. It’s really great to see. Channels like yours For Harriet Tee and As Told By Kenya are just so refreshing! Black women really just informing the masses on our experiences and giving it a voice. This generation and the generations to come are so lucky to have this form of media to reference in the future. Keep up the amazing work!
Edited: I think this topic has a tie with domestic violence too for black men to assert dominance. It not only feeds there ego but it’s like all that they can’t be in the world due to the limitations of societal oppression they try to exert on their partners. It’s kind of to have some sort of dominance and authority in their lives. I’m not saying all instances of DV are like that but I’m sure this is rooted in that. Also, your point about violence to trans and queer people is also fitting for this topic. It’s all a dominance thing
I’m so happy I watched this video to the end.
It seems to me as u talked yourself self out of the argument. In which is the 1st step of becoming a Hotep 😂. So even tho the premise seemed rocky, I loved your line of thinking.
And I do appreciate your understanding of the pathology of Blk male hood.
"because we're at war right now" LMAOOO
your singing at the end was absolutely lovely. thank you. really settled and filled me on an unsettled day
I knew you were going to talk about Skillshare lol 😎😄
I really appreciated this video and I like how you talked about the subjects. I'm a queer and trans black person and I can relate to a lot of what you were talking about. Also I like all your videos lol so I like the ones with a lot of research and also the ones with out too. Thank you for making this video💛
Haven't even watched yet, but I'm so ready for this conversation!!!!
The community is never going to agree on everything. It's important for us to continue to have healthy debate over these issues. Since the community is being attacked we have to come together over issues were we find common ground. Real change requires different groups of people coming together to work for a common goal. While I keep hearing about these alternatives to the system. I don't see the vision that is being pushed outside of buzzwords. I feel like the best way to move is to continue to speak on issues that you feel like are not being addressed but come together to get real policy and change were you agree.
Ps. I think the bigger issue is a lot of those people are just faking it for profit.
Guuuuuuuurl THIS is what I’m definitely waiting for. I don’t even know where to begin with this subject (I.e. my family…)😩 Can’t wait! 😊
I'm gay as hell. But I am in LOVE. I love how you talk and EVERYTHING you said. Lol I'm subscribing!
In my experience, WHEN heterosexual men step out for social justice, they become pretentious af.
I remember reading a book about the history of black women in America and it included how both the first wave of feminism and abolitionism both did not fully include them. Especially with intersectionalism of social issues becoming a more prevalent topic, it really feels like this should be more widely taught and discussed. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you aren’t racist or transphobic; being part of a racial minority does not mean you don’t perpetuate sexism or homophobia. I’ve been hard pressed to find people who genuinely think intersectionalism in all these modern day movements is a thing to pay attention to, and that in itself is just another issue added on top.
AHH I LOVE THE SINGING! Jazz album when?
I feel really uncomfortable with how Black men claim to own Black women and lean towards degrading Black women who date outside of the Black community. Many RUclipsrs I used to watch often talked about how it's impossible to be pro-Black and love whom ever you please. As if sleeping or being romantic with someone who is not Black erases your own experience. When I tell people I have no racial preference romantically at times I feel like Black men online translate that to me not wanting them or me hating them. Should I care what they think? Because I don't like that they think I hate them but I should be free to do as I please! I'm conflicted.
Nah. Do what you wanna do. We are *not* property, that's the whole point of the Abolition.
Never trust someone telling you that you're not Black enough for not doing this or that. That's bullshit. Especially when a fair (hehe) share of them prefer White women anyway 🤷🏾♀️
🎶Thanks for the great end theme song! 🎶
Loved every minute of this video.
Lol language really is fluid and ever expanding.
Who’s here after the DaBaby drama? I came back to this video because it seemed fitting for the situation. It’s sad to see these homophobic attitudes play out in real time.
Thank you for speaking on this Goddess. It was much needed
Yknow... I don't know which parts of your videos I like more. The discourse, intelligent interesting thought provoking and revealing. Or your beautiful singing.
Every time a cousin reposts louis farrakan I gotta block 💀 huge red flag
Yea, I know what you’re saying 🙄😒. Black women stick up for them SO HARD because????
Spot on.
I have some family members that hold similar views and it's not just the men. The women are even turning a corner with seeing the patriarchy but still hold the homophobia.
I can see a slow awakening so I don't preach. But I'm like, y'all...it's all upholding wyt.supemacy 🤦🏾♀️ all of it.
It's the internalized evangelical components black folks hold too...
Great video.
Being black and gay is hard 😩😩🤣🤣
I love you as a thinker & a speaker!
I love this channel. I’ve learned so much. Really appreciate you.
Btw do you think you can do a specifically African variety of this topic?
Thanks for the singing at the end Kadija! You're the real deal!
This about to be lit
🎶🎶🎶Gay As The Day Is Long🎶🎶🎶 You just wrote the chorus!!
Thank you, I learn so much from your vids!!💜💜🌈🙏🏼⭐
I beeen waiting for this one!!!!!
we are so spoiled, khadija is out here blessing us with another educational video AND their beautiful singing.
Stokely Carmichael did a speech and he said that homophobia is a symptom of white supremecy and how black(African) culture is more accepting by nature I found that so funny because that's still true but that grace is given to literally everyone else except our own people!