@@jessjess23brooks89 you eat ass and you care too much why would you comment things like that on a comedy podcast This isn't doctor Phil Relax and laugh
Lawyers do free consultations, which is all he needs to figure out next steps. It’s actually if he needs to go to court that he needs to pay the lawyer
As a lawyer, I concur with the lawyer advise. A female attorney will do the best for you. It will cost you more than $500 but the trouble of getting your name off the birth certificate and monthly child support will eclipse that. Also, in some states, EVEN IF YOU PROVE YOU ARENT THE FATHER, you still have the child support obligation if you’re in the certificate. Once you’re removed, you will NEVER get the money you already spent on not your child back. Time is not on your side.
You do realize the baby is already born and his name isn’t on the birth certificate. Dude just needs to find out if it’s his or not. If it’s his he has an obligation.
The call was so heavy I totally forgot that was his handle from the start. 6 minutes in I eagerly check the comments and you just totally reminded me of the wildest foundation of this call 💀
@smokointokyo9720 Imagine your life just being one endless loop of the meme of Ben Affleck smoking that cigarette in distress because if a paternity test that didn’t go your way.
2:56 Stav’s side-eye look of resigned disgust at the realization that this man is beyond help if he is unwilling to even spend $500 to determine if he is or isn’t the father: $500 that could permanently exonerate him from future responsibility for this child. True “hot couch” scumbag behavior right there 🤣😂🤣😂
How delusional is this guy that he thinks he could get SOLE custody of this kid? I mean, maybe if shes a homeless crackhead, but he didt say anything to indicate the mom is objectively unfit to care for a child. Not to mention that would be a horrible thing to do to a child just cause you dont want to see his mom.
Unless she’s a drug addict or abusisve or mentally unstable, he’ll never get full custody. Even without the severe bias against men and fathers in family courts, judges rarely want to take a child away from both biological parents.
I can fully relate to this. I had my own Maury moment that spanned years. In 2013 I got this girl pregnant in San Francisco when I was 20 and she was 19. She ended up having a spontaneous miscarriage. But summer of 2014 she called me telling me she was pregnant again. I knew it couldn’t be mine because I got guilted into having sex with her 4 more times after the miscarriage because she had bpd and depression and started cutting again and threatening suicide. But those 4 more times I wore a condom, and I was so paranoid after sex I would fill the condom up with water to make sure there was no holes, then flush it down the toilet. She herself said she didn’t think it was mine. But many months later, she started saying it could be and that I should get a paternity test while she was still pregnant. But she was from New Jersey and had moved back there. The baby was born January 2015, and after that she put me on blast on social media saying I was the father and that I was being a deadbeat dad not owning up to my responsibilities. Two years later in 2017 she sued me for paternity. Judge ordered me to get a test, and the results came back negative and I was finally vindicated after years of torment from this total psycho.
my nigga after 2 years though???hahahahahaha so were you not worried the baby could maaaaaaybe be yours and was not being taken care of for those two years, why did you not get the test done sooner???
@@chetligbyI cried 😂😂😂 and the “ she told everyone and blasted me on social media for being a dead beat dad”, So TWO YEARS LATER, when he’s court ordered, he takes it 😂😂
people who just sleep w anyone completely raw are so funny lmao like please for the love of god at least find them attractive so in the event some shit like this happens, you can deal
Im glad they mentioned it cause the correct answer here absolutely is "contact a lawyer RIGHT NOW" dont fucking kid yourself into thinking if you just ghost her the problem goes away.
I hope this guy is not the dad. What a horrible human being. He would fight for sole custody and take this baby away from his mom just so he didn’t have to have awkward exchanges with her. That’s truly evil.
Dude, this literal EXACT situation happened to me THIS YEAR. Literally word for word. Rebound ass from a girl that I was barely into, pulled out and it was probably the scariest fucking situation I’ve ever been in in my life. The only thing different for me was this dude was unlucky enough to bag one who didn’t tell him and just had the kid. The one I got with told me pretty much a few weeks after and after probably my most charismatic and silver tongued performance ever I got her to fly out to NM and I paid for her to get that fucker yanked out. Probably the scariest and worst month of my entire life. No bullshit. Moral of the story, pulling out fucking sucks and don’t do it.
@@bane8305 She said she had a close friend who’s boyfriend worked for I think United Airline or some major airline and she got tickets for both her and her friend. Whether or not that was a lie and it was some other dude I could not care less as long as she got a ticket. And yeah I pretty much told her that it wouldn’t hurt us as a relationship but to my defense I was straight up with this chick from the beginning dude. I told her I was just out of a relationship and wanted to get some ass and she agreed so 😂
My cousin got his rebound pregnant, and now they're happily married and just had a second kid. And he changed A LOT in a good way. He's actually like a pretty responsible dad now. Which is weird remembering that this same individual nearly caused a local forest fire with overpowered bottle rockets once.
Just came from a video of Stavvy telling someone to leave town instead of taking a paternity test "Like its the 40's". Literally next video: "Take the test, you've gotta know". Mans is issuing life advice like a whimsical emperor giving the thumb of death in the Colosseum 😂😂😂
Hey cumfart! You under no circumstances would ever get full custody of this kid. Unless this women is severely addicted to drugs/alcohol, pretty ridiculous to suggest honestly. But yes talk to a lawyer
Nooooooooo, the best most important advice you can give him is that at this point if this is his child it no longer has anything to do with the mother. I’m not saying this to be heartless or to make her look bad or like she’s worthless or unimportant but truly, this baby didn’t ask to be here. Idc if you don’t want to admit to hooking up with her cause she’s just not the one for you or whatever….. if her baby is also your baby (cause it shares YOUR DNA) then you need to do right by this child regardless of whatever superficial feelings you currently have.
Here in ontario, Canada we canget a half hour free consult with a lawyer...I think like once a year or maybe per issue...i would speak to a lawyer first, for sure and there's gotta be a cheaper test
There needs to be a court order, in which case the state pays for the test. Absolutely no reason for this guy to pay for it. Paid tests are for suspicious husbands. He also doesn’t anywhere near need a lawyer yet
If he is looking for full custody. He might not have a good case on that. Unless he can say the woman is unfit mother. Family court will likely side with the mother if the thing ever gets contested.
This guy should 100% consult a lawyer before doing anything, but I also 100% want the paternity test read live on air
100%
Pleeeease
I was going to say something very similar.
Has there been an update?
Great comment bro. I came to this comedy clips channel for legal advice
stav's lack of stretch marks assures me of his consistent health and vigor
😂
This succint prose amuses me to no end.
Now I cant not think of this every time I witness Stav's healthy vigor.
He has been that size since birth
They say his baby food was Beenie weenies and potatoes 🥔
@@reoperezhe looks like the dude from trailer park boys😂i forget the name but jims boy😂😂
Stav sitting there looking like he embezzled all the money out of greece lmao chillin like a king
unfortunately that still isn't very much money lol
@@AviNerenbergI mean I didn't say he looked like a million bucks did I ? 😂
Living his godfather arc “What ails you my friend?” 🤣🤣
Dionysus with a Ravens hat
@@AgencyIsland😂😂😂😂😂
This guy is definitely not gonna talk to a lawyer 😂 he didn’t even want to pay 500 for test… Wait till he figures out how expensive lawyers are 😂
Or how expensive kids are. The poor baby. Honestly, both these people suck, mom and potential dad.
He is not the dad if anyone was wondering
@@jessjess23brooks89 you eat ass and you care too much why would you comment things like that on a comedy podcast
This isn't doctor Phil
Relax and laugh
Lawyers do free consultations, which is all he needs to figure out next steps. It’s actually if he needs to go to court that he needs to pay the lawyer
@@Weewoo12usually it's only criminal lawyers who offer free consultation. This will only cost him $150-300 for a initial consult.
I would pay $10 to get a picture of this woman 😂😂
Now that’s forward thinking
me too
I would pay that 500 bucks to get that image.
I’d pay another $10, let’s make it happen
Careful fellas…seems like a law or two would be broken there somehow
Dude this guy BLASTED in her.
😂
“Little might’ve leaked out” yeah sure bro lmaooo
As a lawyer, I concur with the lawyer advise. A female attorney will do the best for you. It will cost you more than $500 but the trouble of getting your name off the birth certificate and monthly child support will eclipse that.
Also, in some states, EVEN IF YOU PROVE YOU ARENT THE FATHER, you still have the child support obligation if you’re in the certificate. Once you’re removed, you will NEVER get the money you already spent on not your child back.
Time is not on your side.
Men with female family law attorneys look far more sympathetic in the kangaroo courts you’re about to get involved in.
You do realize the baby is already born and his name isn’t on the birth certificate. Dude just needs to find out if it’s his or not. If it’s his he has an obligation.
@@scottbulachshe likely slept with many other dudes. Probably others fully came inside her thus making it much more likely to be another guys kid
@@scottbulachbut also no he doesn't
How can you just get put on a birth certificate? Can a shady doctor take a bribe to do that?
Cumfarts gonna be a great dad
The call was so heavy I totally forgot that was his handle from the start. 6 minutes in I eagerly check the comments and you just totally reminded me of the wildest foundation of this call 💀
He'll be wanting a lot of cigarettes
@smokointokyo9720 Imagine your life just being one endless loop of the meme of Ben Affleck smoking that cigarette in distress because if a paternity test that didn’t go your way.
he beat the charge lmao
@@NewKanyeFanimagine you’re a kid on the family computer and you find your dad’s account called “cumfart”
2:56 Stav’s side-eye look of resigned disgust at the realization that this man is beyond help if he is unwilling to even spend $500 to determine if he is or isn’t the father: $500 that could permanently exonerate him from future responsibility for this child. True “hot couch” scumbag behavior right there 🤣😂🤣😂
im ordering the mega pack of condoms rn
FULL CUSTODY. Good luck, pal. LMAO
You saying “Cum Fart” has no chance?
If he actually tried being a single dad I think he would IMMEDIATELY change his mind about that being the better option.
“This sounds like a trap to me”
This dude, 9 months too late.
Dude needs a lawyer rtfn. I’ll be shocked if he gets one.
Eldis with the "here's what you do:" 😂😂😂
This is the heaviest call I’ve seen on this show in a while
How delusional is this guy that he thinks he could get SOLE custody of this kid? I mean, maybe if shes a homeless crackhead, but he didt say anything to indicate the mom is objectively unfit to care for a child. Not to mention that would be a horrible thing to do to a child just cause you dont want to see his mom.
It’s insane
It’s all about me me me vibes
I assume there is a lot more to the story that he perhaps was hesitant to reveal out of concerns for anonymity. Maybe she is crack addict
Contacting who she might think is the father AFTER giving birth is DEFINITELY qualification for being an unfit mother 😂
I need this Maury arc to play out! 😂
Full custody? Please dont do that unless you talk to a lawyer.
Full Custody? Leave those kids in the dust my brother! Live ya life!
Unless she’s a drug addict or abusisve or mentally unstable, he’ll never get full custody. Even without the severe bias against men and fathers in family courts, judges rarely want to take a child away from both biological parents.
@scrotooftheninefingers218 hope you didn't grow up fatherless
@@napakapa1046cry about it. Do you not love your mother enough?
@@Eyecyou64 crying so hard atm😥😢😭
Stav has the most immaculate vibes ever 😂😂
I can fully relate to this. I had my own Maury moment that spanned years. In 2013 I got this girl pregnant in San Francisco when I was 20 and she was 19. She ended up having a spontaneous miscarriage. But summer of 2014 she called me telling me she was pregnant again. I knew it couldn’t be mine because I got guilted into having sex with her 4 more times after the miscarriage because she had bpd and depression and started cutting again and threatening suicide. But those 4 more times I wore a condom, and I was so paranoid after sex I would fill the condom up with water to make sure there was no holes, then flush it down the toilet. She herself said she didn’t think it was mine. But many months later, she started saying it could be and that I should get a paternity test while she was still pregnant. But she was from New Jersey and had moved back there. The baby was born January 2015, and after that she put me on blast on social media saying I was the father and that I was being a deadbeat dad not owning up to my responsibilities. Two years later in 2017 she sued me for paternity. Judge ordered me to get a test, and the results came back negative and I was finally vindicated after years of torment from this total psycho.
Sue for defamation
Guilted into having sex 4 times 😂
my nigga after 2 years though???hahahahahaha so were you not worried the baby could maaaaaaybe be yours and was not being taken care of for those two years, why did you not get the test done sooner???
"guilted into sex 4 MORE TIMES". my brother in Christ, take some responsibility.
@@chetligbyI cried 😂😂😂 and the “ she told everyone and blasted me on social media for being a dead beat dad”, So TWO YEARS LATER, when he’s court ordered, he takes it 😂😂
There is an update the video is called caller reveals paternity test results stavvys world. He isn’t the father.
Thank god for that baby but he’s now just a certifiable POS
The test needs to be live on air
We need the part 2!
I thought Stavvy was entirely naked here for way too long.
You mean you were wishing he was naked for way too long😏
people who just sleep w anyone completely raw are so funny lmao like please for the love of god at least find them attractive so in the event some shit like this happens, you can deal
fuck yeah @@williamstahla8616 you legend
@@williamstahla8616 i feel u
I've known several friends who got one in on the hottest chick they ever slept with.. It's honestly not a bad strat.
Poor bastard, can’t wait to hear how that plays out.
$20 for a pic. Put that $$ towards paying for an attorney to eventually lose the full custody battle 🤣
This is a nightmare scenario.
“It’s a very heavy coin to flip” lmaooo
"Yeah I definitely don't want a kid to go fatherless" spoken in the tone of man that has already changed his name and booked a flight to Korea
But motherless? Yeah that's totally cool
This is one of the funniest call ins😂😂😂
For you all asking the boys is NOT the farther 🎉
Im glad they mentioned it cause the correct answer here absolutely is "contact a lawyer RIGHT NOW" dont fucking kid yourself into thinking if you just ghost her the problem goes away.
With not context seeing it switchover to an almost naked dady stav was a mindfuck
It’s been a while since I’ve cried of laughter this much 🤣
Stav in his sunday best
The test is significantly cheaper and more accurate after the child is born
The emphasis on "plus tax". Poor kid.
Respect for knowing if it's his that he's gonna step up and be a dad. You can not like the mother and not punish the kid for ir
He wants to take a baby from his mother because he doesn’t liken and never wanted the baby. Respect for that?
@@ligairithe cunt waited until after the baby was born to tell him. She knew what she was doing.
a true nightmare
Wish this was a show 😂😂😂😂😂 these two are awesome at this
Do we have an update on this guy?
Yes. “Former caller reveals paternity test results”, search that
I hope this guy is not the dad. What a horrible human being. He would fight for sole custody and take this baby away from his mom just so he didn’t have to have awkward exchanges with her. That’s truly evil.
100% sicko … but what did we really expect from cumfart?
That wouldn't even rank in the top 5 jacked up families in my neighborhood.
This woman should not be a mother she’s evil fym
Exactly. Dude just signed himself up for some worse karma than this
I agree, truly.
I stan the Stavy / Maury Arc. It needs to happen.
My wife and I had our first kid from the pull out method lol. (But we obviously ended up happier)
The way stav is a voice of reason to so many of these idiots is just, astounding and horrifying but also awesome
I HAVE TO KNOW THE RESULTS!! 😂😂 has he done an update to this??
He is……. NOT the father. Called back in a few months later.
Good night and good mental health
@3:39 lol he realllllly wanted to say “Do I, thoughhhhhh??”💯🤣😂🙈🙏
I desperately want an update for this story
There was an update!
ruclips.net/video/RZqHSGU7E18/видео.htmlsi=qWlJXBWS2rijJ_bP
This explains a lot of parents i see out there 😅
Dude, this literal EXACT situation happened to me THIS YEAR. Literally word for word. Rebound ass from a girl that I was barely into, pulled out and it was probably the scariest fucking situation I’ve ever been in in my life. The only thing different for me was this dude was unlucky enough to bag one who didn’t tell him and just had the kid. The one I got with told me pretty much a few weeks after and after probably my most charismatic and silver tongued performance ever I got her to fly out to NM and I paid for her to get that fucker yanked out. Probably the scariest and worst month of my entire life. No bullshit.
Moral of the story, pulling out fucking sucks and don’t do it.
Sounds like not pulling out definitely sucked.
u paid for flight or she did? how u get her to fly out u say some romantic shit or told her we finna figure this situation out?
@@bane8305 86% chance he paid for flight and she knew he was gonna kick her in the stomach.
bro said 86@@boldpredictionssports
@@bane8305 She said she had a close friend who’s boyfriend worked for I think United Airline or some major airline and she got tickets for both her and her friend. Whether or not that was a lie and it was some other dude I could not care less as long as she got a ticket. And yeah I pretty much told her that it wouldn’t hurt us as a relationship but to my defense I was straight up with this chick from the beginning dude. I told her I was just out of a relationship and wanted to get some ass and she agreed so 😂
Stav should have a turkey leg in his hand.
"$500 is expensive waaah" BRO how expensive do you think CHILD SUPPORT is???
BRUH, TALK TO A LAWYER 😂!!
i need to know how cumfart's story ends
The pull out method is extremely effective when one of your dating criteria is hysterectomy
My cousin got his rebound pregnant, and now they're happily married and just had a second kid. And he changed A LOT in a good way. He's actually like a pretty responsible dad now. Which is weird remembering that this same individual nearly caused a local forest fire with overpowered bottle rockets once.
These clips are so fuckin underrated
Just came from a video of Stavvy telling someone to leave town instead of taking a paternity test "Like its the 40's". Literally next video: "Take the test, you've gotta know". Mans is issuing life advice like a whimsical emperor giving the thumb of death in the Colosseum 😂😂😂
Hey cumfart! You under no circumstances would ever get full custody of this kid. Unless this women is severely addicted to drugs/alcohol, pretty ridiculous to suggest honestly. But yes talk to a lawyer
was there a followup?
Dude had to hit it raw to stay hard and this is the result. Brutal
Wishing for a follow up on this guy...
Was there ever an update???
Nooooooooo, the best most important advice you can give him is that at this point if this is his child it no longer has anything to do with the mother. I’m not saying this to be heartless or to make her look bad or like she’s worthless or unimportant but truly, this baby didn’t ask to be here. Idc if you don’t want to admit to hooking up with her cause she’s just not the one for you or whatever….. if her baby is also your baby (cause it shares YOUR DNA) then you need to do right by this child regardless of whatever superficial feelings you currently have.
Do we know the update?
Need follow up!!!
ruclips.net/video/RZqHSGU7E18/видео.htmlsi=RTJeo6QeIvcwbDVS
That was pure gold...🔥 fire.....
Yeah I’d definitely just block the number and pretend like it never happened
Waiting until post birth is super deliberate. The ol’ keep a man baby.
Here in ontario, Canada we canget a half hour free consult with a lawyer...I think like once a year or maybe per issue...i would speak to a lawyer first, for sure and there's gotta be a cheaper test
"I don't even want to see her drop off the kid" 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 daaayumm bro how down bad were you!?
pull out method is not birth control smh
We gotta get a follow up
Any follow up?
Yeah where is the update???
Love how quick men flip from not wanting someone to be pregnant to I WANT FULL CUSTODY.. Be for real geez. What a putz
stavvy's world is incredible
There needs to be a court order, in which case the state pays for the test. Absolutely no reason for this guy to pay for it. Paid tests are for suspicious husbands. He also doesn’t anywhere near need a lawyer yet
"I dont want kids and i havent thought about talking to a lawyer but I want full custody" cool
If it's his it's his, he will pay one way or another
If he is looking for full custody. He might not have a good case on that. Unless he can say the woman is unfit mother. Family court will likely side with the mother if the thing ever gets contested.
I get the feeling stav is speaking from exp 😂
Stab shoulda offered to pay the paternity test to get the results on the show😂
Please tell me there was a follow up to this
yep
I live and die by the pull out method - 7 months going 2-3 times a day with the same chick and not a baby in sight
Any update on this?
I’m pretty sure I know who this is. 😂
Has there been an update to this?
Shit what if i just podcasted naked?
This happened to a friend of mine and it wasn't his, but he thought it was for a year or something
Full custody??? Damn, man's got balls lmao. Good luck.
This guy did not pull out. He 100% finished inside this woman 😂
please update me if they do the maury test
This is a nightmare 😂
the kid can still rule tho. like none of you can imagine how good loving a baby is.
Yup, so true
Worst nightmare
Sometimes you jump on a grenade and catch some shrapnel in the leg
She's so gnarly he'd rather be a single dad than see her ever again 😂😂😂
Theres no way i woulda answered the first text
where's the update?