It's a very good topic to discuss... Because I really experience alot of suicidal thoughts ... I really try hard to keep my life at Bay... Not killing myself.... I really maintain myself to play cool
My breakdown was so bad last summer that I was full of ideation for future ending it all. I found your channel and it has contributed to my feeling I do not want to end my life. I want to exist and thrive even in little ways. Thank you Douglas🐈
I'm in that scarey place of " ambivalence "right now. I'm hoping that by keeping listening to you that I won't take things any further. It is true that when facing your own death becomes a reality the survival instinct kicks in. I don't really want to be dead I just can't deal with the pain that is living .
I am in the same place my friend. Having trouble finding a reason to carry on. I hope you find some way to feel better. I know my mind is misleading me but it`s so hard
Douglas, I cannot express how much your candor and transparency means to me. Your videos are always so timely for me. No coincidences, just Divine appointments. God bless you.
Your friend, Stuart (or Stewart) is a true mensch! Only some one who really loves you would be brave enough to give you that push, and it's exactly what you needed right then. I'm so grateful that he was there for you, so that you can now be here for us!
Thanks for sharing Dr, i survived my significant other suicide and it awoke an inmense pain, but as you said, the will to live always pushes us forward, good to know we are not alone, hugs from México!
Beautiful message "No! He still needs to live, he still has more to do in this lifetime" that is a concept that has helped me through the darkest of times. There is a reason why we are all here, to help one another, aid in peoples suffering and show love and compassion.
I agree, it does take courage. Fortunately, as my goddaughter said, I'm too much of a wimp to kill myself. That is a a good thing. It also takes courage to stick around and try to work things out. Everybody I know who was at the brink of suicide but chose not to act, is thankful now that they are alive.
So good Douglas, as ever/always...topic close to my heart too Lost several friends-family to suicide. Can only wish they’d been able to find, be influenced by resources like yours as I have. Big thx!
Hey Douglas- it's been a while. I'm glad you're still doing videos. As far as this video goes, thanks for it. It's a good one to have right now especially with how the world is going. Thanks again. You're a good human.
That's great. I'm not sure if I can still find your email address so perhaps you could send me an email, douglasbloch@gmail.com How have you been doing?
Being in lockdown gives me too much time to ruminate. Although I haven't thought about throwing myself in front of a bus too often as it's spring/early summer. I just need something else to think about to take me out of myself.
So true!! I literally had a knife to my wrist. I had a flash of my family seeing me dead and it made me bolt out the house and go for a walk. I checked myself into the hospital shortly after. Haven't wanted to do it since. I'm in a battle with anxiety related to my injury and I'm coming out if that now.
@@DouglasBloch I wouldn't mind at all. People need to know that you can come through on the other side. Anxiety and depression are vicious beast. But they can be slayed. Even if they come back. Just means you gotta do something different.
Nobody who has never experienced REAL depression will EVER understand the absolute mental anguish of the pain of depression. The usual response is...."Well, we all get depressed at times.....Just snap out of it".
Theoretically suicide can be the result of either a (relatively) short duration of pain that is (irremediably) intolerable or a (relatively) long duration of pain that is (merely) extreme.
All your videos are so helpful, and this is no exception. Been struggling with this for many years and the ambivalence factor is tough. It’s sometimes easy to forget that “this too shall pass”. Thanks so much Douglas 😊
You are more than welcome. I am writing a suicide prevention book and if you provide your email address and more than happy to send you some other chapters. You can email me, douglasbloch@gmail.com
"Raging courtroom drama inside my brain"--brilliant! Having the view that there's a battle in my brain involving my inner prosecutor, defense attorney, and judge is such a helpful way to approach suicidal thoughts. Also understanding the ambivalence, being able to label it "ambivalence", is something I've never considered before. And that our survival instinct will prevail eventually.
Two years ago, I decided August 12th was the day I was going to end my suffering. I chose that day, because it was the day between Aug. 11th (anniversary of Robin William's suicide), and Aug. 13th (the anniversary of the day my father was murdered by my ex-husband). Those two men brought so much joy to my life, so it seemed a fitting time to leave. My sick brain told me there was no joy left in this world. My astute therapist called me on the 11th, and he heard all the warning bells in what I was saying. I was a bit too happy because "my pain would be over soon". He sent the sheriff to pick me up and take my "happy ass" to the hospital where I spent 4 days. He really screwed up my plans, and I'm very grateful to him now. I listen to music a lot. I live a very isolated, lonely life and music is therapy and companionship. In my 20s, I loved British punk bands like the Ramones and the Clash, the energy of it helps my dark moods. Soon after coming home from the psych hospital, I heard this song for the umpteenth time, but with a new interpretation. The song is really about dealing with a difficult love relationship, but this time I heard it and applied it to that battle going on inside my brain... "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" (The Clash) Here's part of the lyrics... "It's always tease, tease, tease You're happy when I'm on my knees One day it's fine and next it's black So if you want me off your back Well, come on and let me know Should I stay or should I go? Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble And if I stay it will be double ... This indecision's bugging me If you don't want me, set me free Exactly whom I'm supposed to be Don't you know which clothes even fit me? Come on and let me know Should I cool it or should I blow? "If I go there will be trouble"... I thought about the trouble I would be leaving behind, and how selfish I would be to abandon my mentally ill son and my animals that I love so much. "And if I stay it will be double" ... Yes, problems don't magically disappear, and there will always be new ones. Time to stop wallowing in misery and face these problems, a little at a time. Build on small successes until those nihilistic thoughts no longer dominate my life. I'm still a hot mess, but I no longer entertain those thoughts of suicide. Don't have the time! I have much to do, and now that I've had some small successes, I'm going to keep building on those and keep moving forward.
Have you examined the alternative that these men were not all you may have believed them to be? That they were really selfish narcissists that have you confused? Perhaps betrayed? That it is time for you to pamper yourself and love the beautiful soul that you already are. I hope so! These men have taken up too much of your life already. Time for THEM to be buried. They are not your fault. God Bless you.
Thank you for the video. I've been watching your videos since the start of this year and they helped a lot. I am still in pain :(((( but I believe I'll get better.
Understand something life is a known devil it beats death the unknown devil maybe we’ll suffer more after death who knows. Think like this. After 3 or 4 hospitalizations literally more than 100 ECT’s I am still fighting it. If I am living & fighting it you can too. Only God should take your life.
Get professional help if you can afford it, if not search for different things that can help you stay alive and healthy for now. I've had lots of depressive episodes and sometimes I just have to go trough them, no fighting or forcing myself to do anything. What helps me is having a routine, doing at least the basic (getting up of bed, showering, eating) and then I add other activities. If you start having serious thoughts of self harm, reach out to anyone, even strangers here but don't hurt yourself 🙏🏼
why waste the moment, plenty to live for, if you die you go to somewhere else and in a new sense and new rules, having to start over again, you can do that here without dieing, but what is most important is soul and spirit, accessing heart and mind and asking them to be positive, speaking to ego to forget the wants but to be caring of yourself and body instead of selfish acts.
Dear Douglas, I wish you all the best in the writing of your new book about suicide prevention. My cousin, who I didn't know much, commited suicide in his early 20s. It destroyed his mum. Douglas do you know of the 2005 book called 'Suicide' by Dr Mark Viner (he's a Nevada l psychiatrist) It's also about prevention of suicide. I'd lend you my copy but I'm in England xxxx
Exactly everything that you say it's exactly I experience ... I feel my mind is in a court room for negative and positive thoughts... They really suck to the extent I feel really scared...The moment I don't listen to the suicidal thoughts the stronger and stronger they becomes.... I really try hard to play and act cool as always and listen to motivation videos... If not I watch and do things that I love
It is a good sign that you are scared. Seek help always but when the thoughts of suicide bring you feelings of peace or comfort, that is the moment you must reach out for help.
Most of the times I give in and listen to this suicidal thoughts more often... Funny part about this suicidal thoughts they can also convince you it's as if you are talking to somebody.... So so wierd ..
I love your videos ... They are soothing to my soul and my mental health... Your videos are just like a way out to my mental health.... They really help me alot☺️
Thank you. I did the whole pill thing but took myself to the ER. I was too embarrassed that I would survive the ordeal and shame my family. I lied at the hospital and said it was an accident.
I’m very glad you took yourself to the ER. One day you will appreciate your choice. I don’t see any shame in being suicidal especially since over 10 million Americans have considered suicide in one year. To go now is to work on the issues that brought about the pain that made you suicidal. There are many coping strategies you can use. I recently created a website that has the strategies. Here it is if you would like to take a look at it. www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 *Happy 60K subscribers!!!* 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I actually had about the same experience, I was walking down the street with, what I felt at the time, NOTHING left to lose. I was on my phone texting and purposely NOT paying attention to traffic when I almost got hit by a car. I got mad about it (I put my hand on the hood of her car and yelled at her), then thought to myself, "WHY did I stop that woman from running over me?! Why was I mad that she was going to do me a favor!?!?" Then I cursed my survival instincts for a few weeks after that and before I had my mental breakdown a few weeks later when I went and got some help. And here I am, 12 years later! I'm not completely better, but I'm better than I was. I now think to myself about all the GOOD things and people I've met since my last incidents of feeling suicidal, and that gets me through the tough times. Thank you Douglas for this video, it's one of those things that really needs to be talked about more, there's always that "something/clues before" the thought about suicide that makes the difference between catching it and not being able to stop someone from their self-inflicted demise. (NOT that I'm blaming anyone, just know where they're coming from and can empathize.)
Hello Dr. Bloch, I want to talk to you about my issue to see if you can give me some guidance. First of all I want to let you know I have mild schizophrenia OCD and possibly BPD. I have disorganized thinking mood swings and can't sleep without zyprexa. I have maladaptive daydreaming too. My current situation is that I've shut off from the outside world and my responsibilities due to my low frustration tolerance. I do a few responsibilities but I do everything forcefully.I've become a total hedonist because I can't bare pain. All this was before covid 19. Thank you for your attention I would appreciate any tip or guidance or something to start off with.
I would suggest that you find a mental health professional who has work with people with those disorders. There is a book about OCD that might be helpful to you called brain lock by Jeffrey Schwartz
Thanks doug for this video I feel like this now. I want to die but I want to life Iv had 4 depressive episodes My last one 2 years ago which I never really come through And now iv been like this for 8 weeks now with anxiety too Iv also had shingles for 6 weeks And I have M.E. which is in a big flare up and I have arthritis in my eyes. Am just worn out. Am missing my hobbies and the things I love to do. Some days I have despair anger sad frustrated suicidal anxiety and agitated all at once and I cry all day. Doug could you suggest how I can sit with all and feelings without crying because the Crying is making me more tired and I feel like I'm in a Catch-22. If I could just gain some energy I could slowly start 1 of my hobbies. Love peace and kindness xxx
karen Griffiths Hi Karen, You have a load on your plate, yet you were able to write an eloquent and thorough comment, so your logical brain is still working. My psychiatrist told me that the emotional brain lags the logical brain, and I know that he is right as my logical brain sees all the flaws in my emotional thoughts and actions. Regarding shingles, hang in there! I had the sores for about eight weeks and residual pain for about a year. Every now and then I itch somewhere there was a shingle blister and when I scratch it it hurts like anything. If the discomfort is causing you to lose sleep, you are tired from lack of sleep in addition to so many of your other issues. My psychiatrist also told me when I complained of major fatigue that anxiety causes fatigue, because you are in fight/flight/freeze status all the time, your body is on high alert, your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated, so your body spends the day running a marathon, thus fatigue. In regard to crying, it must be one of those days because I’ve been crying on and off all day. Scientific studies have shown that cortisol and adrenaline are in tears. Anxiety causes these hormones to be elevated, so crying actually helps get them out of your bloodstream faster than they would go otherwise. Thus the old expression “Go and have a good cry” as the crying and the tears are therapeutic. Yes, it is tiring, but if it relieves your brain’s thoughts which are causing you agony, it is worth the effort. I, too, have relapsing treatment resistant depression/anxiety/agoraphobia plus other random weird phobias. I seem to have an episode about every 17-20 years, and they are always brought on when all hell is breaking loose, like pets dying, parents critically ill, a personal scary medical diagnosis, hurricanes (I live in Jacksonville, Florida), overwhelming work either at a job or at home, etc. I have made it through my three previous episodes and I will make it through this one. Other than recommending that you get professional help, which can make such a difference if you can find a psychiatrist and therapist that really understand you, I have done something that someone suggested a long time ago. I made little signs, which I have posted in almost every room of my house. They say these three sentences: Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. This, too, shall pass”. Wherever I go in my house, there are those three sentences, and I read them and remember that my current state isn’t permanent. I also have positive affirmations taped on my bathroom mirror. Please let your emotional mind gets its grief out, and remind yourself that your rational mind is already well on the way to health. You are not alone, even if it feels like it. Depression lies, anxiety lies! Confront those lies and tell them that you know they are lies and tell them to Shut Up! I will keep you in my heart and we will cry together across the miles.
I have psychosis that very much feels like a battle with spirits, not necessarily demonic possession but perhaps like demonic oppression by what seems like is perhaps what Christians call strongmen spirits which very much feels like you are in a struggle with entities that work hard to create mental blocks in your mind including the belief that the act of you trying to better yourself or learn something new or expand your consciousness or even improve your lifestyle habits will harm someone else and as such this creates a complex which prevents me from doing these things. Also they plant the seed of an idea that if you live long enough they will act in a manner to manipulate your destiny for evil ends. They convince you that your destiny is mandatorily evil and will pose harm to others without explaining why and as such recommend suicide to prevent harm to others which would inevitably result should you live long enough. Whether or not there really are spirits or people psychically influencing my thoughts or whether these ideas are just due to chemical imbalances in my brain, this experience seems to be quite common these days and is quite similar to the accounts of the Mayan shamans apparently who communicated with what they believed to be Gods through dreams and visions before the decline of their civilization. It was actually apparently these, what they believed to be, communications with Gods that convinced them to take up the practice of human sacrifice. In the case that there is any merit to these experiences being spiritual phenomenon rather than just merely mental illness symptoms then perhaps the Mayans actually had strongmen acting in their leader's minds rather than God's which would account for their decline.
No matter where the beliefs come from it's so important not to believe them! Just wondering if you are you on any medication for the psychosis? I wish you well.
Actually I take back what I said and have decided to just treat this issue as a mental illness and not entertain spiritual ideas because to do otherwise feels like giving consent to the forces of the universe for that to become my reality and I really don't want that!!! In the case that what we believe becomes our reality I just have psychosis!!!
@@ianfrisby8168 Oh, I see. I hope you have considdred seeking treatment with a psychiatrist. You may be aware that they can prescribe something for the symptoms of psychosis. I'm sure it would help. Best of luck to you!
Yes, I have a psychiatrist and mental health team but not where I am stuck currently. I just found out I may be autistic as well as having psychosis and social anxiety disorder.
@@ianfrisby8168 It's good that you have a psychiatrist. It might be good to touch base with him/her if you haven't recently, to let him/her know how you have been doing. At least it would reassure you while you are away from him/her. At most he may be able to prescribe something via e-mail to a local pharmacy. I hope I'm not being too pushy. I just think you would perhaps benefit from treatment or talking with him/her. Good luck with things either way!
Going through one right now. I wish my survival instinct is weak so i can just end it all. The ambivalence is making me feel so weak. I can't even die when i should n deserve it. I hate myself.
@@DouglasBloch sorry if i caused any worries. But yes, i have a therapist. There just isn't any improvement in years. Or at least that's what it feels like. N I'm screwing up at my job really badly. So i can feel kinda hopeless. Thanks for making the video. It helped a bit.
As a person who has been depressed and suicidal for over 10 years, I have mixed feelings about seeking therapy. It may work, and cause my life to drastically improve OR it may not, making my depression/suicidal thoughts even worse.
If you work for the right person, you can get tremendous benefit. If the person is not a good fit you can always stop treatment and look for something else. My experience is a therapy has been a key to my recovery
I I know you have communicated with me before. I’m sorry the quality of your life is so low. Is there anyway you can reach out to Mental Health professional
I have clinical depression, and I must tell you that you have an excellent understanding of major depression. Since you know depression so well, I would like to know your take on the following verse of the Quran. ALLAH says in the Quran that he does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. Do you agree with it?
You are welcome. Keep persevering and reaching out for support. State a clear intention that you want to feel better and pursue the activities that will help you do this. You can make it
The movement toward death which leads to life. The joke: The preacher says life begins the moment the baby takes the first breath. The priest says that life begins from the moment the sperm reaches the egg. The rabbi says that life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies!
Um I was just wondering I take 10mg lexapro for 3 weeks it’s my first anti depressant and I feel little to nothing and it’s really starting to depress me and feel hopeless why is it not working 🙁 and also your voice calms me thank you, it really helps me.
@Schlatt Coin Antidepressants are not a magical pill that will cure your depression. I have been on Celexa for 4 years so I have some experience with antidepressants. If you dont think your meds are working please talk to your doctor about it. Please keep fighting! There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Bun Bun honestly that’s kinda scary information 🙁 my brain is hooked on insane amount of negativity and I keep saying I need to depend on the antidepressants to change the way I think is there a anti depressants that take away the negative thoughts? Because I feel like I’m going insane man
I am struggling now. I want the pain to end but too afraid and the will to live is too strong for me to kill myself. I have to find a way to get out of this depression.
@@DouglasBloch i beg a God i dont even believe in anymore to take this pain away. Trying to find a therapist. I would not do anything to hurt my son. Ill watch more videos. I am amazed u actually respond.
The problem with suicide is you're not around to enjoy not being around. Why is one fortunate to continue to live in extreme mental pain? Doesn't sound very fortunate to me.
of course one wants to live! why not ... but ppl who have chronic pain every time a major flare up arrives this question you put in the title comes up. I recommend you speak about chronic pain in your book too. and please don't preach that u have to change your mind ... I m a very strong person but never experienced anything as difficult as chronic pain .. it s like a vacuum cleaner that sucks the joy and spirit of life from the person
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you were dealing with chronic pain. My brother has been suffering from chronic pain since 2014 after a bad back operation. So I do intend to put a chapter in on chronic pain. Would you like me to send you the information after I have put it together so you could look it over and give me some suggestions?
I spent two years with someone who suffered from chronic pain, I watched her suffer, because there was nothing I could do for her. It eventually broke us up, that was two years ago. If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
@@silvertrucker7942 I hope you and her recovered from that break up . I tried to reach out.. But there is not much ppl to reach out. So I have been reaching out to my own self .. Which is something I feel grateful for ..
@@shahilagh We unfortunately never repaired the damage. She suffered from POTS, Lyme disease and a genetic disorder. The reason I reached out to you, was rather a selfish one, I'll admit. I too suffer from depression and anxiety that's why I'm on here. Funny thing was, helping her, helped me. I miss that.
@@silvertrucker7942 each of those are difficult enough .. There is a saying that, give what you love to have and you will be given. I dont say I m giving alot to others, but the moment I stopped seeking helplessly for someone to come and see me and be kind to me when I am unwell, I felt freedom.
how about those who believe in an afterlife [not NECESSARILY in a religious context]? you don't have to be facing anguish or pain in THIS life to want to end that, you just need to believe there's something better "over there". if it wasn't for my obsession with my physical life i'd have checked out ten years ago, but it just isn't time yet. really, what's so perverse about that? i LIKE living, i just want a level playing field.
I understand your dilemma. I have been there many times. Fortunately, I chose to live. Here are two videos from my website about choosing to live. I hope they are helpful. I understand your dilemma. I have been there many times. Fortunately, I chose to live. Here are two videos from my website about choosing to live. I hope they are helpful. survivingsp.wpengine.com/home/reasons-to-stay-alive/reasons-to-keep-on-living/ www.survivingsuicidalpain.com/home/reasons-to-stay-alive/reasons-not-to-make-an-attempt-2/
Depression : wants to die
Anxiety: scared of dieing 😭😭
Guess i should thank my anxiety? 🙃
rabbitquartet , very clever 😁
It's a very good topic to discuss... Because I really experience alot of suicidal thoughts ... I really try hard to keep my life at Bay... Not killing myself.... I really maintain myself to play cool
You aren’t alone brother. Stay strong 💪🏼
We all are going through something together
This channel has impacted my life in so many positive ways, I'm still anxious but not as much, thank you!
I'm so glad!
@@DouglasBloch Thank you too🙏
I tried, I'm here now, so Uncle Douglas, please stay with me. Thank you.
I'm here. Are you reaching out for support, both personally and professionally
My breakdown was so bad last summer that I was full of ideation for future ending it all. I found your channel and it has contributed to my feeling I do not want to end my life. I want to exist and thrive even in little ways. Thank you Douglas🐈
You are welcome. Mission accomplished.
I'm in that scarey place of " ambivalence "right now. I'm hoping that by keeping listening to you that I won't take things any further. It is true that when facing your own death becomes a reality the survival instinct kicks in. I don't really want to be dead I just can't deal with the pain that is living .
I am in the same place my friend. Having trouble finding a reason to carry on. I hope you find some way to feel better. I know my mind is misleading me but it`s so hard
Douglas, I cannot express how much your candor and transparency means to me. Your videos are always so timely for me. No coincidences, just Divine appointments. God bless you.
You are welcome Eddie
Just remember that what you experience at this point in time is a fraction of your life... you’ll be okay. This all does pass 🙏🏻
Alex, did you email me asking to look at part of the manuscript
Stewart, we needed more Stewart’s. Unique stories. The will to live...........promises made, devotion. Thank you, for everything.
You’re welcome
Your friend, Stuart (or Stewart) is a true mensch! Only some one who really loves you would be brave enough to give you that push, and it's exactly what you needed right then. I'm so grateful that he was there for you, so that you can now be here for us!
Thanks. It's great to see you leaving a comment. Thanks for asking about the spelling. It's the former
Thanks for sharing Dr, i survived my significant other suicide and it awoke an inmense pain, but as you said, the will to live always pushes us forward, good to know we are not alone, hugs from México!
Thanks for your comments. Muchas Gracias
Beautiful message "No! He still needs to live, he still has more to do in this lifetime" that is a concept that has helped me through the darkest of times. There is a reason why we are all here, to help one another, aid in peoples suffering and show love and compassion.
I could not agree more. I wish you the best in your continued recovery
Remembered you said your newest video was coming out today - was waiting for it.
Well, I'm glad I was on time
You kept me going last year Douglas! Thank you so much
You're welcome.
You are a very good man
Thanks. Let me know if you might be interested in reviewing part of my manuscript
For this exact reason I see people who commit suicide as courageous! Even when I'm not suicidal, I can't 'unthink' that.
I agree, it does take courage. Fortunately, as my goddaughter said, I'm too much of a wimp to kill myself. That is a a good thing. It also takes courage to stick around and try to work things out. Everybody I know who was at the brink of suicide but chose not to act, is thankful now that they are alive.
Thanks Douglas. You've been a source of guidance for me for several years now. I appreciate you & hope you're well
People kill themselves not out of will but because they can't stand the inner pain.
So good Douglas, as ever/always...topic close to my heart too
Lost several friends-family to suicide. Can only wish they’d been able to find, be influenced by resources like yours as I have. Big thx!
Hey Douglas- it's been a while. I'm glad you're still doing videos. As far as this video goes, thanks for it. It's a good one to have right now especially with how the world is going. Thanks again. You're a good human.
Wow, it's good to hear from you again. Would you like to take a look at parts of my new book?
@@DouglasBloch Sure! I'd love too!
That's great. I'm not sure if I can still find your email address so perhaps you could send me an email, douglasbloch@gmail.com How have you been doing?
thank you Douglas, very calming and reassuring video, as usual
Thank you for your videos. They've been healing to me in these times of despair.
Being in lockdown gives me too much time to ruminate. Although I haven't thought about throwing myself in front of a bus too often as it's spring/early summer. I just need something else to think about to take me out of myself.
That's a very good insight. I hope you find something
@@DouglasBloch Just weeding my allotment. I'm sure how far pulling up fat hen and horsetail will get me though.
So true!! I literally had a knife to my wrist. I had a flash of my family seeing me dead and it made me bolt out the house and go for a walk. I checked myself into the hospital shortly after. Haven't wanted to do it since. I'm in a battle with anxiety related to my injury and I'm coming out if that now.
Thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind if I put it in the book? Of course, you would be anonymous.
@@DouglasBloch I wouldn't mind at all. People need to know that you can come through on the other side. Anxiety and depression are vicious beast. But they can be slayed. Even if they come back. Just means you gotta do something different.
Nobody who has never experienced REAL depression will EVER understand the absolute mental anguish of the pain of depression.
The usual response is...."Well, we all get depressed at times.....Just snap out of it".
You are so right.
Theoretically suicide can be the result of either a (relatively) short duration of pain that is (irremediably) intolerable or a (relatively) long duration of pain that is (merely) extreme.
Doug, this is the awesome positive and always intelligent video. I'm glad a lot of people have seen this already
I'm glad it was helpful for you
The attitude is Gratidude. You cannot carry any other emotion while being Grateful. Be Grateful!
Agreed. I made a video called gratitude and depression if you would like to watch it
Douglas Bloch
I would like too.
Thank you so much for all your work! It is much appreciated ❤🙏
You are so welcome
Good work Douglad, good to see you are doing well and providing quality, helpful content.
All your videos are so helpful, and this is no exception. Been struggling with this for many years and the ambivalence factor is tough. It’s sometimes easy to forget that “this too shall pass”. Thanks so much Douglas 😊
You are more than welcome. I am writing a suicide prevention book and if you provide your email address and more than happy to send you some other chapters. You can email me, douglasbloch@gmail.com
Douglas Bloch Thank you!
"Raging courtroom drama inside my brain"--brilliant! Having the view that there's a battle in my brain involving my inner prosecutor, defense attorney, and judge is such a helpful way to approach suicidal thoughts. Also understanding the ambivalence, being able to label it "ambivalence", is something I've never considered before. And that our survival instinct will prevail eventually.
I’m glad that the ideas I shared were helpful
Two years ago, I decided August 12th was the day I was going to end my suffering. I chose that day, because it was the day between Aug. 11th (anniversary of Robin William's suicide), and Aug. 13th (the anniversary of the day my father was murdered by my ex-husband). Those two men brought so much joy to my life, so it seemed a fitting time to leave. My sick brain told me there was no joy left in this world.
My astute therapist called me on the 11th, and he heard all the warning bells in what I was saying. I was a bit too happy because "my pain would be over soon". He sent the sheriff to pick me up and take my "happy ass" to the hospital where I spent 4 days. He really screwed up my plans, and I'm very grateful to him now.
I listen to music a lot. I live a very isolated, lonely life and music is therapy and companionship. In my 20s, I loved British punk bands like the Ramones and the Clash, the energy of it helps my dark moods.
Soon after coming home from the psych hospital, I heard this song for the umpteenth time, but with a new interpretation. The song is really about dealing with a difficult love relationship, but this time I heard it and applied it to that battle going on inside my brain...
"Should I Stay or Should I Go?" (The Clash)
Here's part of the lyrics...
"It's always tease, tease, tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day it's fine and next it's black
So if you want me off your back
Well, come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
...
This indecision's bugging me
If you don't want me, set me free
Exactly whom I'm supposed to be
Don't you know which clothes even fit me?
Come on and let me know
Should I cool it or should I blow?
"If I go there will be trouble"... I thought about the trouble I would be leaving behind, and how selfish I would be to abandon my mentally ill son and my animals that I love so much.
"And if I stay it will be double"
... Yes, problems don't magically disappear, and there will always be new ones.
Time to stop wallowing in misery and face these problems, a little at a time. Build on small successes until those nihilistic thoughts no longer dominate my life.
I'm still a hot mess, but I no longer entertain those thoughts of suicide. Don't have the time! I have much to do, and now that I've had some small successes, I'm going to keep building on those and keep moving forward.
Excellent. I like your idea of small successes. Send me an email, douglasbloch@gmail.com I want to hear more about those successes.
I am so glad you are doing well, I've been where you were at. God bless you and love the song, music is soothing.
Powerful! Sometimes I can't understand how people go on in spite of what they went trough. Sending love, you are right about taking small steps 🖤
Have you examined the alternative that these men were not all you may have believed them to be? That they were really selfish narcissists that have you confused? Perhaps betrayed? That it is time for you to pamper yourself and love the beautiful soul that you already are. I hope so! These men have taken up too much of your life already. Time for THEM to be buried. They are not your fault. God Bless you.
Good taste in music! It's my escape too. Hope you're doing well x
Thank you for sharing Douglas. You're personal experiences and knowledge of the area meld beautifully in your videos.
Thank you for the video. I've been watching your videos since the start of this year and they helped a lot. I am still in pain :(((( but I believe I'll get better.
Keep persevering. What goes down must come up
Someone just give the man the nobel peace prize!
Agreed
Agree
I have severe depression since last May 2019. I am still in nervous breakdown. I need your help and prayers. I m suicidal at times
Have you reached out for mental health treatment
😔❤️
Understand something life is a known devil it beats death the unknown devil maybe we’ll suffer more after death who knows. Think like this. After 3 or 4 hospitalizations literally more than 100 ECT’s I am still fighting it. If I am living & fighting it you can too. Only God should take your life.
Get professional help if you can afford it, if not search for different things that can help you stay alive and healthy for now. I've had lots of depressive episodes and sometimes I just have to go trough them, no fighting or forcing myself to do anything. What helps me is having a routine, doing at least the basic (getting up of bed, showering, eating) and then I add other activities. If you start having serious thoughts of self harm, reach out to anyone, even strangers here but don't hurt yourself 🙏🏼
@@DouglasBloch yes from past 11 months I m on antidepressant s
I've been following Douglas for many years but nowadays depression is really aching a lot. I'm very much afraid !!
why waste the moment, plenty to live for, if you die you go to somewhere else and in a new sense and new rules, having to start over again, you can do that here without dieing, but what is most important is soul and spirit, accessing heart and mind and asking them to be positive, speaking to ego to forget the wants but to be caring of yourself and body instead of selfish acts.
Dear Douglas, I wish you all the best in the writing of your new book about suicide prevention. My cousin, who I didn't know much, commited suicide in his early 20s. It destroyed his mum. Douglas do you know of the 2005 book called 'Suicide' by Dr Mark Viner (he's a Nevada l psychiatrist) It's also about prevention of suicide. I'd lend you my copy but I'm in England xxxx
I will definitely research it
So what about those whose survival instinct doesn’t kick in?
Hi. Douglas So liked this talk, again your insights are inspiring & right on, Thank you
Exactly everything that you say it's exactly I experience
... I feel my mind is in a court room for negative and positive thoughts... They really suck to the extent I feel really scared...The moment I don't listen to the suicidal thoughts the stronger and stronger they becomes.... I really try hard to play and act cool as always and listen to motivation videos... If not I watch and do things that I love
Doing the things you love is a good idea.
It is a good sign that you are scared. Seek help always but when the thoughts of suicide bring you feelings of peace or comfort, that is the moment you must reach out for help.
Important wooreds. Thanks for theat. I am suicidal at this time.
I hope you reach out and get some support. You can get through this
I'm ambivalent. But I do hope theres a purpose to everything I've been through. In fact i know there is. Hence I'm not so ambivalent as i thought
Good thinking. All of my Suicidal episodes have had a purpose which I could not see at the time. However after I got better, it became clear to me
This is an amazing video, really resonates with me.
the last time i watched your videos you were at 10 000 subs, am so happy it grew to 60k!! ❤️❤️❤️
Well, keep watching and perhaps will hit 100,000 subscribers one day
Such a dark subject yet I laughed so many times.
Mum said she's so glad she never succeeded in ending her life despite ongoing problems.
I’m glad for her
Most of the times I give in and listen to this suicidal thoughts more often... Funny part about this suicidal thoughts they can also convince you it's as if you are talking to somebody.... So so wierd ..
It's okay to listen to them as long as you don't take their advice. Are you seeing a counselor?
Yes I am on a counselor Since last year....
I love your videos ... They are soothing to my soul and my mental health... Your videos are just like a way out to my mental health.... They really help me alot☺️
Thank you so much Douglas.
Thanks, this is a video that helps me a lot.
Glad to hear it. Here is my new website on suicide prevention that may be helpful. www.survivingsuicidalpain.com
@@DouglasBloch Thank you kindly, I will check it out
Good on ya Dougy keep up the good work
Thank you. I did the whole pill thing but took myself to the ER. I was too embarrassed that I would survive the ordeal and shame my family. I lied at the hospital and said it was an accident.
I’m very glad you took yourself to the ER. One day you will appreciate your choice. I don’t see any shame in being suicidal especially since over 10 million Americans have considered suicide in one year. To go now is to work on the issues that brought about the pain that made you suicidal. There are many coping strategies you can use. I recently created a website that has the strategies. Here it is if you would like to take a look at it. www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 *Happy 60K subscribers!!!* 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I actually had about the same experience, I was walking down the street with, what I felt at the time, NOTHING left to lose. I was on my phone texting and purposely NOT paying attention to traffic when I almost got hit by a car. I got mad about it (I put my hand on the hood of her car and yelled at her), then thought to myself, "WHY did I stop that woman from running over me?! Why was I mad that she was going to do me a favor!?!?" Then I cursed my survival instincts for a few weeks after that and before I had my mental breakdown a few weeks later when I went and got some help. And here I am, 12 years later! I'm not completely better, but I'm better than I was. I now think to myself about all the GOOD things and people I've met since my last incidents of feeling suicidal, and that gets me through the tough times.
Thank you Douglas for this video, it's one of those things that really needs to be talked about more, there's always that "something/clues before" the thought about suicide that makes the difference between catching it and not being able to stop someone from their self-inflicted demise. (NOT that I'm blaming anyone, just know where they're coming from and can empathize.)
Chris, it's good to hear from you again. I'm glad you're doing better
@@DouglasBloch Thank you, me too. 👍🙂 It's a scary spot to be in.
Excellent Doug...thanks
Thanks Douglas
Great video, great joke, great content, you're great xxxx🌷🌹🌷🌹
Hello Dr. Bloch, I want to talk to you about my issue to see if you can give me some guidance. First of all I want to let you know I have mild schizophrenia OCD and possibly BPD. I have disorganized thinking mood swings and can't sleep without zyprexa. I have maladaptive daydreaming too. My current situation is that I've shut off from the outside world and my responsibilities due to my low frustration tolerance. I do a few responsibilities but I do everything forcefully.I've become a total hedonist because I can't bare pain. All this was before covid 19. Thank you for your attention I would appreciate any tip or guidance or something to start off with.
I would suggest that you find a mental health professional who has work with people with those disorders. There is a book about OCD that might be helpful to you called brain lock by Jeffrey Schwartz
@@DouglasBloch Thanks for your help
Thanks doug for this video I feel like this now.
I want to die but I want to life
Iv had 4 depressive episodes
My last one 2 years ago which I never really come through
And now iv been like this for 8 weeks now with anxiety too
Iv also had shingles for 6 weeks
And I have M.E. which is in a big flare up and I have arthritis in my eyes.
Am just worn out.
Am missing my hobbies and the things I love to do.
Some days I have despair anger sad frustrated suicidal anxiety and agitated all at once and I cry all day.
Doug could you suggest how I can sit with all and feelings without crying because the Crying is making me more tired and I feel like I'm in a Catch-22.
If I could just gain some energy I could slowly start 1 of my hobbies.
Love peace and kindness xxx
karen Griffiths Hi Karen,
You have a load on your plate, yet you were able to write an eloquent and thorough comment, so your logical brain is still working. My psychiatrist told me that the emotional brain lags the logical brain, and I know that he is right as my logical brain sees all the flaws in my emotional thoughts and actions. Regarding shingles, hang in there! I had the sores for about eight weeks and residual pain for about a year. Every now and then I itch somewhere there was a shingle blister and when I scratch it it hurts like anything. If the discomfort is causing you to lose sleep, you are tired from lack of sleep in addition to so many of your other issues. My psychiatrist also told me when I complained of major fatigue that anxiety causes fatigue, because you are in fight/flight/freeze status all the time, your body is on high alert, your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated, so your body spends the day running a marathon, thus fatigue. In regard to crying, it must be one of those days because I’ve been crying on and off all day. Scientific studies have shown that cortisol and adrenaline are in tears. Anxiety causes these hormones to be elevated, so crying actually helps get them out of your bloodstream faster than they would go otherwise. Thus the old expression “Go and have a good cry” as the crying and the tears are therapeutic. Yes, it is tiring, but if it relieves your brain’s thoughts which are causing you agony, it is worth the effort. I, too, have relapsing treatment resistant depression/anxiety/agoraphobia plus other random weird phobias. I seem to have an episode about every 17-20 years, and they are always brought on when all hell is breaking loose, like pets dying, parents critically ill, a personal scary medical diagnosis, hurricanes (I live in Jacksonville, Florida), overwhelming work either at a job or at home, etc. I have made it through my three previous episodes and I will make it through this one. Other than recommending that you get professional help, which can make such a difference if you can find a psychiatrist and therapist that really understand you, I have done something that someone suggested a long time ago. I made little signs, which I have posted in almost every room of my house. They say these three sentences: Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. This, too, shall pass”. Wherever I go in my house, there are those three sentences, and I read them and remember that my current state isn’t permanent. I also have positive affirmations taped on my bathroom mirror. Please let your emotional mind gets its grief out, and remind yourself that your rational mind is already well on the way to health. You are not alone, even if it feels like it. Depression lies, anxiety lies! Confront those lies and tell them that you know they are lies and tell them to Shut Up! I will keep you in my heart and we will cry together across the miles.
@@shirleykaye4344 thank you
Your in my heart too
Xxx
Sending hugs and you got this! Xx
Great video Douglas
another great video thank you so much!
I've got 3 very close calls. Hopefully the 3time is a charm.
Do whatever you can just try to stay here. It is worth it.
I have psychosis that very much feels like a battle with spirits, not necessarily demonic possession but perhaps like demonic oppression by what seems like is perhaps what Christians call strongmen spirits which very much feels like you are in a struggle with entities that work hard to create mental blocks in your mind including the belief that the act of you trying to better yourself or learn something new or expand your consciousness or even improve your lifestyle habits will harm someone else and as such this creates a complex which prevents me from doing these things. Also they plant the seed of an idea that if you live long enough they will act in a manner to manipulate your destiny for evil ends. They convince you that your destiny is mandatorily evil and will pose harm to others without explaining why and as such recommend suicide to prevent harm to others which would inevitably result should you live long enough. Whether or not there really are spirits or people psychically influencing my thoughts or whether these ideas are just due to chemical imbalances in my brain, this experience seems to be quite common these days and is quite similar to the accounts of the Mayan shamans apparently who communicated with what they believed to be Gods through dreams and visions before the decline of their civilization. It was actually apparently these, what they believed to be, communications with Gods that convinced them to take up the practice of human sacrifice. In the case that there is any merit to these experiences being spiritual phenomenon rather than just merely mental illness symptoms then perhaps the Mayans actually had strongmen acting in their leader's minds rather than God's which would account for their decline.
No matter where the beliefs come from it's so important not to believe them! Just wondering if you are you on any medication for the psychosis? I wish you well.
Actually I take back what I said and have decided to just treat this issue as a mental illness and not entertain spiritual ideas because to do otherwise feels like giving consent to the forces of the universe for that to become my reality and I really don't want that!!! In the case that what we believe becomes our reality I just have psychosis!!!
@@ianfrisby8168 Oh, I see. I hope you have considdred seeking treatment with a psychiatrist. You may be aware that they can prescribe something for the symptoms of psychosis. I'm sure it would help. Best of luck to you!
Yes, I have a psychiatrist and mental health team but not where I am stuck currently. I just found out I may be autistic as well as having psychosis and social anxiety disorder.
@@ianfrisby8168 It's good that you have a psychiatrist. It might be good to touch base with him/her if you haven't recently, to let him/her know how you have been doing. At least it would reassure you while you are away from him/her. At most he may be able to prescribe something via e-mail to a local pharmacy. I hope I'm not being too pushy. I just think you would perhaps benefit from treatment or talking with him/her. Good luck with things either way!
I'm waiting to see how this plays out
There are things that you can do to support your survival instinct. I have a video called reasons to stay alive
True, After I took too much Amitriptyline I felt I have done wrong thing.
Thank you❤️
Going through one right now. I wish my survival instinct is weak so i can just end it all. The ambivalence is making me feel so weak. I can't even die when i should n deserve it. I hate myself.
I am sorry that you're hard on yourself. Are you working with a counselor? You can get better
@@DouglasBloch sorry if i caused any worries. But yes, i have a therapist. There just isn't any improvement in years. Or at least that's what it feels like. N I'm screwing up at my job really badly. So i can feel kinda hopeless. Thanks for making the video. It helped a bit.
As a person who has been depressed and suicidal for over 10 years, I have mixed feelings about seeking therapy.
It may work, and cause my life to drastically improve OR it may not, making my depression/suicidal thoughts even worse.
If you work for the right person, you can get tremendous benefit. If the person is not a good fit you can always stop treatment and look for something else. My experience is a therapy has been a key to my recovery
I’m not suicidal, but lately I’ve had a craving to be back in the psych ward. Anyone else?
Especially in these times. So many people including myself and my friends are experiencing depression and anxiety.
I've been feeling that way for a couple days now unfortunately.
What's the point of living if your quality of life is rubbish? My survival instinct in all I have.
I I know you have communicated with me before. I’m sorry the quality of your life is so low. Is there anyway you can reach out to Mental Health professional
Good job
I wish there was an easy way. What I have is chronic degenerative and irreversible.
Are you talking about a physical ailments
Wow, last time I watched ur videos I was in such a dark place
What goes down must come up, I like to say
...well, live, ...and pray, ...and drink good wines, ...🙏🏻❤️🌹...
I have clinical depression, and I must tell you that you have an excellent understanding of major depression. Since you know depression so well, I would like to know your take on the following verse of the Quran. ALLAH says in the Quran that he does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. Do you agree with it?
That has certainly been true in my life and in the lives of people I know
@@DouglasBloch Thanks for your honest response!
You have been very encouraging to me
Love from india
You are welcome. Keep persevering and reaching out for support. State a clear intention that you want to feel better and pursue the activities that will help you do this. You can make it
Thank you very much!!!😇
You are more than welcome
Why fight nature-what is in motion stays in motion
Which motion were you talking about, the motion towards life or the motion towards death?
The movement toward death which leads to life. The joke: The preacher says life begins the moment the baby takes the first breath. The priest says that life begins from the moment the sperm reaches the egg. The rabbi says that life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies!
Um I was just wondering I take 10mg lexapro for 3 weeks it’s my first anti depressant and I feel little to nothing and it’s really starting to depress me and feel hopeless why is it not working 🙁 and also your voice calms me thank you, it really helps me.
@Schlatt Coin Antidepressants are not a magical pill that will cure your depression. I have been on Celexa for 4 years so I have some experience with antidepressants. If you dont think your meds are working please talk to your doctor about it. Please keep fighting! There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Bun Bun honestly that’s kinda scary information 🙁 my brain is hooked on insane amount of negativity and I keep saying I need to depend on the antidepressants to change the way I think is there a anti depressants that take away the negative thoughts?
Because I feel like I’m going insane man
I am struggling now. I want the pain to end but too afraid and the will to live is too strong for me to kill myself. I have to find a way to get out of this depression.
You can get out of this depression. Have you seen my other videos? What have you tried so far?
@@DouglasBloch i beg a God i dont even believe in anymore to take this pain away. Trying to find a therapist. I would not do anything to hurt my son. Ill watch more videos. I am amazed u actually respond.
The problem with suicide is you're not around to enjoy not being around.
Why is one fortunate to continue to live in extreme mental pain? Doesn't sound very fortunate to me.
... and what happened to those who successfully achieved relief from their pain...
You were meant to live and help others. The devil fights hardest against those who are good.
Thank you
Is depression relapse or recurrence on fluoxetine permanent or temporary without treatment ?
You should talk to your doctor about that
Depression isn’t happy until you are dead. That’s the paradox.
I’ve never been suicidal the way I look at it life is a known devil beats the death unknown devil maybe we’ll suffer more after death who knows.
Now really is relatively a good time, all considered.
To be, or not to be... 😔
Good question 👌
Nice video!!!
Thank you
of course one wants to live! why not ... but ppl who have chronic pain every time a major flare up arrives this question you put in the title comes up. I recommend you speak about chronic pain in your book too. and please don't preach that u have to change your mind ... I m a very strong person but never experienced anything as difficult as chronic pain .. it s like a vacuum cleaner that sucks the joy and spirit of life from the person
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you were dealing with chronic pain. My brother has been suffering from chronic pain since 2014 after a bad back operation. So I do intend to put a chapter in on chronic pain. Would you like me to send you the information after I have put it together so you could look it over and give me some suggestions?
I spent two years with someone who suffered from chronic pain, I watched her suffer, because there was nothing I could do for her. It eventually broke us up, that was two years ago. If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
@@silvertrucker7942 I hope you and her recovered from that break up . I tried to reach out.. But there is not much ppl to reach out. So I have been reaching out to my own self .. Which is something I feel grateful for ..
@@shahilagh We unfortunately never repaired the damage. She suffered from POTS, Lyme disease and a genetic disorder. The reason I reached out to you, was rather a selfish one, I'll admit. I too suffer from depression and anxiety that's why I'm on here. Funny thing was, helping her, helped me. I miss that.
@@silvertrucker7942 each of those are difficult enough .. There is a saying that, give what you love to have and you will be given. I dont say I m giving alot to others, but the moment I stopped seeking helplessly for someone to come and see me and be kind to me when I am unwell, I felt freedom.
Thank you! You are a mensch!
😊
how about those who believe in an afterlife [not NECESSARILY in a religious context]? you don't have to be facing anguish or pain in THIS life to want to end that, you just need to believe there's something better "over there". if it wasn't for my obsession with my physical life i'd have checked out ten years ago, but it just isn't time yet. really, what's so perverse about that? i LIKE living, i just want a level playing field.
If you were to die, is there anybody you would leave behind
Should I Stay or Should I Go
I understand your dilemma. I have been there many times. Fortunately, I chose to live. Here are two videos from my website about choosing to live. I hope they are helpful.
I understand your dilemma. I have been there many times. Fortunately, I chose to live. Here are two videos from my website about choosing to live. I hope they are helpful.
survivingsp.wpengine.com/home/reasons-to-stay-alive/reasons-to-keep-on-living/
www.survivingsuicidalpain.com/home/reasons-to-stay-alive/reasons-not-to-make-an-attempt-2/
Can I have a chat with you on zoom
good video my nigga
That statement she wrote is not true
Thanks Douglas