Former chef here. Yes, food being contaminated isn't limited to germs. Somebody with severe food allergies could absolutely go into anaphylactic shock if she introduced an allergen with her *disgusting* behavior.
I found I have two food allergies a few years ago. I have to be careful what I eat if I don't have my allergy meds. Cross contamination has always been a conscious effort. When I was first doing testing for it, called an elimination diet, I had to look at all my foods very carefully. I even had my mom help me figure out what allergens were or weren't in the food. If someone put they're fingers or a utensil used previously on an allergen of mine, put it in the food, and I consume it later without knowing I can get very sick. Some people can die. This woman has no regard for others.
I know someone with Gluten allergies and they have separate kitchen ware and almost a separate kitchen from the rest of the family because of cross contamination. Also behave like a pig, then you will be called a pig. I would have thrown the whole girlfriend out.
Absolutely I have several severe food allergies that require me to carry 2 epi-pens at all times, and I rarely eat out or order food (or even eat food at other people’s houses and so on) because I can never be sure of cross contamination (which for me leads to anaphylactic shock). People don’t ever seem to realize how serious this really is.
@@lorilancaster5917 Right? Like, do they know this dog gets out all the time, or do they think this was a first? Because that bit of info should change everything.
@@somnus970 not necessarily true about it being her dog.. she might not even like dogs. The dogs here are my husbands. not mine. The cats are mine and I take care of them. he takes care of his. Now I might drop some food down if its dinner time and he aint here but no im not chasing them around the neighborhood several times a week especially if pregnant and not feeling good.
About the cake/custard story: Yes. She absolutely could’ve transferred allergens to a client’s order. I have Celiac’s and if I’m ever making food or am ordering food, it has to be cooked/prepared with separate utensils. If someone were making me a pizza and used the sauce spoon on a regular pizza, and then dipped it back into the sauce and used it on my pizza, that’s major cross contamination. I could end up on the floor in a ball while my insides rip itself apart. I also have a genetic migraine disorder that presents stroke symptoms that can be triggered by lots of things, including the intense aftermath of eating an allergen. So yeah, I’d be pretty pissed if she’d dipped her grubby fingers in a custard I’d ordered. And I’d be in literal danger. She’s 100% the asshole.
I don't have Celiacs but I have really bad gluten intolerance. I feel this. Even small amount of spices with gluten, can throw me in the bathroom sick to my stomach. Separating utensils at home and washing my hands frequently when prepping something with gluten at work (I work somewhere where its very often I wil touch SOMETHING with gluten) are a must when cooking. My sister doesnt really understand why I do this, says its just a few minutes of discomfort for me to go through. But I would be very upset, regardless if I wasn't making me something gluten free, if someone just kept dipping fingers into the batter I was making. Cross contamination aside, the germs! Even if I trusted my oven completely, I would still be icked out after.
@@iEmnerz Tell your sister that it's none of her business and that she doesn't need to understand It's not harming/upsetting anyone and it's actually preventing that you yourself get harmed, so it's absolutely okay for you to do whatever it is that you're doing
@@CaptainTom_EW it’s the girlfriend that keeps contaminating the food for OPs sister. If gf wants to be a child about it then OP should send her back to her parents.
The wedding story is nuts, the parents don’t even agree yet tell OP “you need to get over your ego”, they intentionally excluded your wife and somehow you’re meant to be okay with that? We’re disabled, we’re not a burden, but some people treat our existence like we’re some huge burden to them, it’s pretty disgusting but it does make it easier to know who to never talk to again.
I have disabilities too and it's so degrading and disrespectful to do that to an adult and I can't imagine any of my family or friends doing that. Obviously they won't take their marriage vows seriously if they include "For better or worse" and "In sickness and health" if they expect OP to disrespect his own marriage and stick his wife with a babysitter. In my opinion, if the parents told him to get over his ego, they DO agree with the bride and groom. If they didn't, they wouldn't have said that.
I’d guess they didn’t want to have to explain to the extended family why he isn’t there and that’s why they said this. But, isn’t OP a perfect example of what marriage should be? Like would he and his wife being there be the ultimate expression of love? If my sibling did this I’d never want to see them again.
@@Milkymalk Injuries can be the cause of disability, and in this case, from OP's description of her needs, it sounds like her injury has caused disability. For example, if you break your leg, you are temporarily disabled because you can't walk without assistance. You will most likely heal and become able-bodied again. But the same injury could become infected or result in other complications that may end up requiring amputation, which would lead to a more severe, and permanent, disability. Many people lose their hearing from illness, such as meningitis. Many amputees lose their limbs later in life, rather than being born without them. Or lose vision from an eye injury. Or lose the ability to walk from a spinal injury, or an illness that causes them tremendous pain. It isn't the cause that makes it a disability; it's the effect, and whether you can function at your "normal" expected capacity or not. Hope that makes sense :)
@@GoddessOfThree Sorry for making you write up all that, but I already knew that :) The way I understood it though, his wife was temporarily "disabled", or he probably wouldn't have mentioned "from an injury" (or "sickness", not sure which it was) because mentioning that implies that once the injury/sickness is cured, she is fully able again. The text does not make this 100% clear, but that is my interpretation.
I love how in the second story the parents told op to “get over his ego” but it’s not about ego. It’s about respecting and defending his fucking wife, you’d think as a couple whose been married for decades of all people they’d understand that
Can't say I am surprised by their stance, that's just how ableists are sometimes. When you have a mental disability or brain injury, ableists think it's their right to treat you as a child and an inconvenience. Anyone who stands up to defend you will get gaslit into thinking they're the problem and everyone else is treating you as you should be treated in their minds. Speaking from experience as someone with autism, ADHD and dyslexia.
And to add to it.... THEY are getting married! You know, "better or worse.... sickness and health...." smh op is a great husband and the wedding couple sucks.
I also like how they said that OP had to respect his brother's choice to disrespect OP's wife, but they didn't respect OP's choice to drop out of the wedding after his wife was disrespected
Story 3: the girlfriend isn’t being dumb, she’d being malicious. She waited until he was walking out of the shower to stick her finger in the jar? She’s trying to assert some kind of control or dominance.
I have a really barrel shaped dog and everyone thinks hes fat until they see him climbing our fence for the first time before they realize its all muscle 😂 we had to fix the issue with a cone
My family had a chow chow/German shepherd mix named bear. I called him the reincarnation of Harry Houdini because no matter what we did that dog wouldn’t stay in the dog pen.
Had not thought of that, but now that you say it, I can't help but think you are right. The only reason I could think of is that she was deliberately winding him up to get a reaction like wanting rough play but not knowing how to ask. Good catch.
@@foremanhaste5464if someone wants rough play that's a pretend bdsm type thing not a legit you piss someone off thing so their actually annoyed with you which of cous3 wouldn't out someone in the mood
@@Nerobyrne really needs to find a different joke then if that’s the case, because he’s not only risking his dog’s life but the well-being of anyone around him.
The guy in the beginning complains that his girlfriend or whatever has no empathy for him, but he has none for her, and she's pregnant with his baby. The logic this guy has 😂
For the third story: I know my boyfriend likes to bake. I do too but sparingly. If he was helping make custard or buttercream or frosting for a cake and told me not to stick my finger in it, I’d listen! As a kid, I’d sometimes eat frosting from the container (in small increments cuz too much sugar) and now I wait till I’ve set the cake or pie batter in the oven to bake and just lick the remnants off the bowl, mixer blades, and spatula. So the girlfriend saying “oh I like dipping my finger in cuz it links me to my childhood” is a really lame excuse. At the fact she did it 5 times, it’s more like “I hear you but I don’t care”
Totally agree. But if one does want to use their finger. Do so only on your personal (for yourself only) batches. Even then a spoon is still better because it gets more than a finger.
@@luna_theraider easier to clean too. just chuck that spoon in the sink to soak for 10 minutes and boom, easy clean. your finger? lol, scrub and scrub and let it still feel dirty
I guarantee if OP was to make a batch for his girlfriend to have for herself she would probably still sick her fingers in the batch not for her, along with the excuse, "I was making sure they taste the same." Considering "use a spoon" isn't a simple enough instruction she clearly doesn't care.
It's her way of "asserting dominance", both over OP's sister, and OP too. Clearly, if she wanted some, she could've easily asked her boyfriend "Hey, I'd like some too: could you make more with the batch?" This is not a case of poor self-control or anything of the sort: she's intentionally sabotaging those cakes so that her boyfriend will end up giving up, and stop spending time and effort for his sister instead of for herself. Completely stupid and bratty? Yes. Likely to end up sending her packing due to the major red flag this is? Absolutely.
I feel so bad for OP’s wife in the 2nd story. Imagine going through an accident and having difficulties doing tasks as simple as feeding yourself, and you husband’s family just wants you to deal with it and be separated from the event?
@Gabriel Parsons yeah because the entire purpose of using a pen name as author is to be able to remain anonymous/private outside of your writing, if they were married i could understand op's point a tad more, but after half a year of DATING, i'd tell him to get his controlling ass out and not come back. i also write as a hobby and i wouldn't trust someone who i've been with for half a year with my pen name just 'because they're curious' i could try and give hints nudging them to the books if they really wanted to know, but that would still take at least 2 years of committed relationship. it's not a thing of trusting the person or not, it's about ensuring your privacy why you use a pen name in the first place which you put at risk and seeing op's reaction to not being told as he 'demanded' he would probably be the kind of guy who hold it over your head or weaponize it if the relationship ever broke down
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 As a bf or gf, you are not entitled to sensitive information. If you try to force it out repeatedly, it should be an automatic deal breaker. Check your entitlement douchebag
First he demands to know. Second he plays calm but is still relentless. Third he tries to hack into her laptop. Gf may can press charges especially regarding the computer
The girlfriend who kept getting into the filling: She wasn't just not listening and contaminating the filling that OP made. She was consistently breaking a boundary behind his back. That's enough of a reason to kick her to the curb.
As the dog owner, it's OP's responsibility to watch the dog, care for the dog, and keep the dog safe, which includes not letting the dog OP knows is an escape artist be left unsupervised. Damn man, get some freaking obedience classes, a leash, and leave that poor woman alone!
"curled up on the sofa" thats the terminology OP used to describe the state of his fiancé. i don't know about y'all, but if i or someone i know is "curled up" anywhere its because we're miserable and about to be sick. that poor woman
If my partner didnt help me with my dog im breaking up with her everytime thats my kid is he a bad dog owner ya but that has nothing to do with it if my gf says she lost her godson in a game of poker im not gonna go "thats your fault im tired im not helping u get the kid back" im gonna get the kid back because i care about her and that care extends to living things that she values
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 I hope he does so his partner can take him to court for child support since he's such a doofus he's not responsible enough for a dog let alone a human child
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 are you ok in the head? She is pregnant the fact that op loses their dog multiple times a week mean that they are irresponsible and shouldn't own an animal
4th Story: I'm so glad I'm not the only one that noticed something was wrong. When OP said, "I tried a nicer approach..." I felt some major sus vibes. As the story progressed it became more apparent that OP is probably a manipulator. First, he "dragged" information the his GF obviously didn't want to share out of her. Then, he demands she give him her pen name so that he knows what she does (this feels like him not wanting her to do anything without his knowledge), then accuses her of not trusting him to literally gaslight her into giving him info she doesn't want to share with anyone. Also, when he "tries a nicer approach," he does it to drop her guard so she gives him what he wants. He then proceeds to go behind his GF's back to access the info from her computer, gets mad when he can't go through HER personal info, and tries to gaslight her AGAIN then demanded SHE apologize. All in all OP's GF needs to get out of that relationship asap because if OP is willing to be this manipulative over something so insignificant, who knows what else he's doing to her.
Or an electric fence that has a special collar. I'm not into that kind of thing for dogs but the owner is so irresponsible I'm afraid it might get hit by a vehicle.
Story 2: I would have said, “gosh, I hope you never get hurt or your husband might hire a babysitter for you while he goes to grown up parties 🙂 doesn’t that sound nice?”
Last story: Another red flag is his "nice" approach. Him pretending that he wants to know to help her fulfill some of her fantasies when really it is just about him getting what he wants. Very manipulative
Another red flag is her knowing to change her password. That means he either had a history of doing that, or he has threatened to do that. Either way it’s a red flag
That last story had another huge subtle clue about how bad he is. Even he acknowledged that he saw trying to be nice about the situation as a backup option. Like...what kind of person thinks being nice to the people in their life shouldn't be the first approach at all times?!?
3rd story - I’m not in the food industry and even I know what food contamination means and how serious it is. That girlfriend is just plain disrespectful, selfish and disgusting. I’m wondering if she’s doing it maliciously so ‘oh well, I guess it has to stay here now.’ Or if she is just a complete jerk. She can’t be that dumb/oblivious at this point.
honestly some people are just that dumb and oblivious. watching these type of videos for a good while just proves that they do exist and it is a tragedy they have the same voting power as other people.
After four previous times, it is all about some sort of control game. GF is definitely pushing OP's boundaries to establish some form of dominance. The 'fat-shaming' accusation is an attempt to deflect from her own actions.
Yea, as you said, i doubt she is that dumb/oblivious. The behavior could have a really simple explanation actually. OP makes a new batch every time she dips her finger and contaminate the food. What do you think happens to the old batch? I am guessing it goes down her gullet, that's the only option left really, other than throwing it all in the trash. She can enjoy it all to herself if she just dips her finger in, so she does. She isn't dumb/oblivious, she's simply an ahole who doesn't care about troubling others so long as it can benefit her...
That first story is literally the definition of not my monkey not my circus The fiance is dealing with a much more important problem of growing a human being if you can't control your animal and can't train your animal that's on you
Has the guy from the first story never heard of a leash? If your dog is escaping every single week there’s a problem. And that’s before you factor in making your pregnant fiancé chase them down.
@@90charmedndangerous that was my thought, every dog should have an emergency recall. Put simply, you train your dog to come when called by rewarding, right? So you get a whistle (at least if you can’t whistle loudly) or something loud and distinct from your regular recall. Any time the dog comes when it hears the emergency cue, they get MAJOR rewards. Like chicken or some other super high value reward
That first story is honestly the one that infuriates me the most. OP's dog is an accomplished escape artist, and does so at least once a week. How hard is it to bring the dog inside when he can't be watched? Why doesn't he tether the dog to a piece of furniture, a stake in the ground, the door, or himself? Personally, I think that dog is trying to get a message the OP's fiancee: RUN AWAY. Get out of there while you still have the chance, girl!
Story 3: She just thinks that OP doesn't want her to eat anymore. No, OP just doesn't want her to eat the custard with fingers like a toddler. Just use a pecking spoon, it's not that hard! And who cares if using fingers brings you back to your childhood? When my mom made chocolate chip cookie dough, I ate some with a clean spatula!
We waited until my mom was finish, and then one would get the wishp or spoon, one the spatula, and the Third would get the Bowl. Otherweise, if we dipped out fingers in the goodies, the punishment was a slap on the hand, and No treat with the others. Guess we got the message as toddlers 😉😂😂😂
If i remember correctly this story has an update. Basically, the girlfriend was just jealous of the amount of time OP was spending helping his sister. The girlfriend was sabotaging him on purpose.
I think it's not about eating itself. She's committed to ruining his work for his sister. Maybe she doesn't like the sister or the fact that he's spending his time doing it.
About the girlfriend childishly putting her finger in OP’s food, for me it’s a major red flag! It’s her little satisfaction and pleasure first no matter the consequences and nowadays, the consequences can be very bad. On top of that, instead of understanding why she shouldn’t do that, she cried because OP caught her doing it AGAIN after SO MANY TIMES he asked her no to do so. If she can’t see the reason why OP doesn’t want her to do that, it tells a lot about that person and OP should breakup with that woman. About the last story, rSlash YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!
yes, exactly that, not to mention how she says to op that he is fat shaming her, like tries to make op feel bad by twisting his words, manipulative in my opinion. like, lady, he is just telling you to use a spoon , be respectful ,it's not even for you.
I got the vibe that she was doing it intentionally because she doesn't like that her boyfriend is this helpful to his sister or some other convoluted BS. With as much as happens with this, this has to be malicious, intentional, and some sort of power move. Call me cynical and jaded, but that's what I get out of it
She's gas-lighting. Its a disgusting manipulation tactic and a major red flag. Combined with the rest of her actions, OP should kick this b*itch to the curb.
As someone who writes fiction in my spare time, I feel like it's such a violation of trust to demand her pen name. It's clear that OP has issues to want to know what they wrote, as if they're trying to see if they wrote about them. Or use stupid mental gymnastics to somehow interpret their writing to mean something about them internally. Girlfriend is not the bad guy, OP is.
I totally understand if someone has issues with their partner writing adult content (as someone who used to take commissions for spicy writing myself) but if that is a boundary for them then it's completely the wrong way to approach it. You can ask to know and explain that it makes you uncomfortable but if they say no that's the end of it, you either leave the relationship or deal with it because its your issue not your partners. If you decide to break up with someone because they write spicy content and aren't willing to share that part of their life with you then you are totally justified in doing so but trying to force them to tell you then blatantly breaking their trust, trying to trick them into telling you and then going behind their back to try and get that information makes you the bad guy. Its OK to have boundaries and deal breakers (doesn't matter how silly or seemingly insignificant they are) but you need to understand that they are your issue and not your partners, so you can't force them to cross their boundaries to accommodate yours. If two dealbreakers or hard boundaries contradict each other then you leave the relationship, you don't get angry at the other person for not crossing their line to accommodate yours because that's just outright hypocrisy
I write fanfiction too and bro, I'm not in it when my family asks what I write about. The only person I've ever talked about my writing with has been my godmama(she's super chill, so I find it fun). Only issue is, I sign my art with my pen name, so unless I'm with someone too stupid to connect the dots, its easy to find mine.
The fact that he's so obviously manipulative in trying to achieve this goal too. "I told her she didn't trust me and she still didn't tell me which was really annoying" he doesn't seem upset by trust here at all. He seems upset that invoking trust didn't immediately get him what he wanted. Similarly he mentions "her fantasies" which, if he really wanted to know, he would have stuck on longer. They could have a conversation. But he doesn't actually care about her fantasies, he invokes them in order to try to get what he wants
Aliases are a sacred thing for any kind of creator. Be it for RUclips, art, books, etc, privacy needs to be respected. It's fine to ask once or maybe request a work sample if you're truly that curious, but if they say no, then there's a good reason for it. Pushing the matter is only going to make them want to share their work and second identity with you less. Pen names were created and used as a shield to protect the person behind the work. They were used to freely express yourself while remaining safe. Perhaps that isn't as common now, but it's still a very significant thing. Maybe if they were married and full trust was there then yeah, they might be comfortable sharing. It's a privilege to know, not a right.
As someone who likes to make sweets, that girl friend from the third story is playing very dangerous games. She's very fortunate that it isn't sent, because she could possibly kill people with allergies and the like with such disgusting behaviors.
The one that gets me is "I told her she didn't trust me and she still didn't tell me which was annoying" like... If you're serious about a partner and they don't trust you that feels much worse than annoying. He even says it. He's not annoyed by the lack of trust, he's annoyed that using that didn't manipulate her into giving him what he wants
Controlling, he wants to control her and wants access to her secret information, both to use as leverage against her and to decide if it's something he wants her to stop doing or not.
@@ProfessorChaosKitty That bit is a red flag, like it's clear that to us, it should obviously be the other way around, but he wants her to apologise as well as her pin name, as if he thinks he's right about all this and is waiting for her to finally give into his demands so that he can control her. Like, is he legit honestly expecting that from her at this point and time?
Let's all wish a massive and wholehearted good luck to the newly married couple who wanted OP to exclude his wife. I sincerely, truly hope that neither of them are ever in an accident, or get some sort of disease that could affect their mobility, speech, ability to swallow, etc. "In sickness and in health" apparently was NOT part of this couple's vows...!
Story 3: does your GF not like your sister? Frankly you shouldn't have to tell her not to dip her finger in something that is going to be sold to a customer, but you did five times. You told her to get a spoon but she refused it to and then gave a BS excuse. Either your girlfriend has no self-control or is sabotaging your sister because I imagine ingredients aren't cheap and remaking it it just wasting them.
Also cheap or not it's a waste of ingredients and time, the little shit has done it 5 times. I think OP needs to reconsider staying with her, she shows no respect nor self control with such a small thing so we can imagine how well something more serious would go
@fightingblind I was thinking that too. Or else shes just one of those arrogant people who thinks if I don't care no one else should. I've literally met people who can't comprehend that any one could possibly have a different thought proces than themselves.
Second Story: That's a husband. I respect the shit out of the husband for standing up for his wife and for ignoring pressure from his family and sticking by his wife. Not only does he help her and stand by her side (as he should) but he stood up for her entirely (as he should). That's what a real husband would do. Good man.
I had sympathy until he said the dog gets out at least once a week. Like dude, get an electric fence or something. There are solutions other than bothering your poor wife and telling her that you hate her. @Just A Person , had a really good suggestion of angling the fence which is better than an electric fence, didn't realize this comment would be so devisive. I don't have an electric fence because my dogs are trained. I don't agree with shock collars. I don't use them on my dogs because again, they're trained. I've had one dog who jumped my 8ft fence and it was a rat terrier so I believe that his small dog could do the same. What we did was re-home her because she wasn't a good fit. She found a very loving home that could properly house her
I disagree with this. I own a dog like this, electric fences make it worse. It just makes them run farther, and makes them more scared. Depending on the dog, they can break a leash/their collar. Shock collars are awful, and most cities won't let fences go to high. I think what he said was awful, but I get being panicked. But that in no way excuses what he did. He found the dog, he needs to do a hell of a lot to apologize.
The first girlfriend is definitely sadly thinking about all the scenarios about her bf being a dad since he loses his dog every week... maybe even having second thoughts
He's already like this now, it's not that far a stretch that he really would leak her pen name WHEN they do break up. She was right on to keep it from him, because she already knows how he is. His actions just confirmed it for her.
@@thejayinator585 Gasp! A woman who is sexually active! Listen buddy hate to tell you that you weren't an immaculate conception either... But you and people like you are the reason she wants to keep her penname to herself.
@@thejayinator585 there is nothing wrong with writing books even if it’s spicy content. He’s not her husband he doesn’t need to know everything right away. The fact he tried to break into her laptop and demand things is crazy and you can’t justify it
Honestly, the biggest red flag in that last story wasn't anything rslash pointed out. It was, that after demanding she tell him, the OP outright stated "then I tried a nicer method." The dude outright admitted he knew he was being a douchebag, that he chose to be said douchebag FIRST, before being "nice" about it, and that the only reason he was "nice" was because he didn't get what he wanted the first time.... manipulative as all hell, that guy.
The creepiest thing about OP in the last story, is that he wanted to read her erotica to try it out on her. Didn’t ask, just assumed she would be interested in it. Which based on his behavior, he 100% would badger her endlessly to play out scenarios from her books or would shame her for writing it.
Imagine if it was flipped to gore based horror rather than erotica. Then all of a sudden "Trying it out" on your parter would suddenly be horrific and psychotic. Simply because it's put in writing, it doesn't mean the author wants to be put in the position of the characters. It's common sense and yet it seems many people lack it.
Due to a stroke, my wife's in a similar situation as the second story OP's wife. She sometimes needs help but can still do many things on her own. If ANYONE in my family pulled the kind of shit OP's brother and SIL did, 1000% I'd do the same thing as OP. Main difference is - the rest of my family would absolutely be on my side about it. It's not about ego, it's about fucking respect. Probably the first time I've heard a story here that LEGIT made me angry.
Story 2 about the wedding: the brother and wife are absolutely disgusting. The fact the parents are defending it really shows just how gross they are, condemning a disabled person to the kids area is so demeaning and really makes me hope their marriage falls through
Story 1: So OP knows the dog has this problem, yet still leaves the dog unattended, and then blames the pregnant woman who is already exhausted and feeling sick for not wanting to go out yet again to fix the problem caused by his own inattention
Ya but thats not the point if your partners dog is loose help them find the dog if your partners dog is loose and its there fault help them find the freaking dog if your partner makes a mistake help them fix it cause thats what being in a partnership is about u try to avoid mistakes in the future but above that u try to fix the mistakes of the past
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 She has been helping him fix that mistake, over and over and over again. And this time she was exhausted and sick, so maybe she needed some consideration
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 the man admitted this happens every week. She's pregnant enough to be curled up sick on the couch, how many times has she already done this? A line has to be drawn, like you said yourself, you should try to avoid mistakes, it's part of the partnership. He's not doing his part.
Story 3: It's not fat shaming, it's shaming an AH person who doesn't have any consideration for their significant other or anyone else around them. 😑 Honestly, Op should probably just not date her anymore if she can't respect the most basic of boundaries. Story 5: Gee, I wonder why Op's girlfriend doesn't trust them? Could it be the constant nagging trying to get her pen name out of her? Could it be the fact that Op is secretly trying to go through her laptop and other things try and get the information out of her? Why are they so damn nosy? She writes erotic fiction, so what? That's all Op needs to know! If she doesn't want them to know what pen name she's writing under then she doesn't want them to know, so just leave it at that! Op's girlfriend has every right to her own privacy! 😤
Story 2: The parents think OP not going is about ego?!? NO, he's standing by his wife! It's an f*ing wedding and they want him to disrespect his own marriage. What are they on
2nd story: OP is totally in the right. His brother and sister-in-law are both ablest jerks who "ruined" their own wedding. And the parents saying "we don't agree, but it is their wedding," what a cop out.
Story 2: oh my GOD can you IMAGINE being that awful and insensitive, also to think OP would just, yanno, drop his adult wife off at daycare like a 3 year old
Last story: I'm an author myself and while the more spicy stuff isn't my main thing, I do write it sometimes (haven't published anything yet but we're getting there). My partner knows all this, and also writes a little themself. You know what the normal thing is to do when your partner doesn't want to share something they're working on is? You respect it! You don't try to brute-force your way into their laptop!
Used to have an art page (nothing nsfw) and sometimes told my mom about a nice comment I got or that I was proud my follower count (got probably 100 at most but I was very happy that many people liked my art). She knew I didn't want to share the @ to family or friends (they're all nice and respectful so it wasnt for any malicious reason) and she always respected that. She never pushed or pried and when I shared something I was happy about she was happy for me. I do show them some pieces occationally but its nice to just have something thats yours or something you can just share with strangers. Can imagine it's similar with publishing writing under a different name. They'll show you if they want to or when it's finished. Trying to force it out of them is a great way to never be shown any of their work every again. Creative projects (like art, writing, composing ect.) are generally something so personal, it has little pieces of the creator inside. To some people, showing your work is like stripping naked and if someone doesnt want to show you their work it's not hard to just respect that! Sorry for rambling, your comment just got me going on the topic and people who try to force an artist or author of any kind to show their work when they dont consent to is infuriating. Hope any future publishing goes well!
Corners, and proberbly he has the rafters on his side. I would have put 2-3 feet acryllic slaps on the top side of the fence. Nor dog or cat can climb that.
11:45 The third story, your concerns about contamination are absolutely possible! My roommate is a chef, he’s deathly allergic to pecans, but only if consumed. While he was still in school they made something with pecans, his partner didn’t clean the counter well enough, rolled a bread dough on the same counter, and some of the pecan oil was still there, and he had a reaction when they tried the bread. Thankfully he had an epipen, but it is still completely possible.
Last story: I bet that when OP found out his girlfriend writes erotica, he got furious and basically equated it to cheating or finding out that she is a porn star. Like every action he took make it sound he is suspecting her off sleeping with other men. Because god forbid a woman having sexual thoughts and putting them in writing. And given that OP is (most likely) trying to make make him sound good here, the truth on how he tried and find out his GFs pen name must be even worse. I hope OP gets dumped by her, he is super toxic.
A heeler is a dog with a lot of energy. Mix it with a corgi and it's a tiny ball of energy. I think OP isn't spending enough time with the dog letting it release all that pent up energy. No wonder it wants to have a run around once a week.
@@crimsonflareumbreon1290hey said in the post the fence is 8ft. They need to get a harness and tie it to something at this point or slant the top inwards.
Bro the guy in the last story is so manipulative. "She set a boundary, which was annoying, so I tried to seem nice. Then I invaded her privacy while she slept."
It makes me so mad that his parents defended the crappy brother instead of standing up for OP’s wife too! She’s also part of their family. There’s no way my parents would let that crap fly if one of my siblings pulled that crap on the other
Absolutely. I can't believe they had the audacity to insult OP's wife, and then told OP to get over his ego. I don't know if I have to be a genius, or incredibly dumb to understand that logic.
@@TipTheScales27 kinda seems like they've always been embarrassed, but never said anything before, until the opportunity of being a dick for a day came up. "I'm getting married, so eff all of you. You're beneath me." I wish there was an emoji of a woman with such a smug, sour face it looks like her neck is swallowing her chin, because that would be the bride.
Story 1: If your dog is escaping every week, you probably should be asking yourself if YOU are the one doing something wrong. Maybe make an unclimbable fence? Use a leash? Train the dog to stop climbing the snuffing fence?
Hell, giving him more exercise would probably also help, dogs a heeler mix. Those breeds are very high drive cattle dogs of course its gonna escape every chance it gets. Boooo op for making your inability to control your dog your pregnant fiancé's problem. Jfc every week? That's insane, fiancé has far more patience than I do.
God, with these kinds of dogs the only option is training. If it can climb a fence, it can break a leash. Before we had the whole house walled up, mine was kept with a 5 meter chain leash. And not those cheap chains either, ones that were as thick as my fingers. He broke it, we tied him up. He broke it, we tied him up. In less than two years, all that was left was about half a meter long.
@@Metal_Mouth Or people can just stop bringing large breeds and working dog breeds into cities and putting them out in these postage stamps they call "yards" in the city. Large dogs belong on farms. The biggest thing that city people should be allowed to have as a pet is like a Shih Tzu or a Miniature Schnauzer.
@@agentzapdos4960 Yep. I couldn't tell how large op's yard is from the post so I didn't want to make a statement on it, but the dog climbing that high and over spinners is already telling me all that I need to know in terms of it's energy level.
@@Metal_Mouth like seriously. when i first got my dog he escaped like 4 times in the first month and i felt like such a shit dog owner. OP is like, the worst and has no self reflection skills at all. i feel really bad for his fiancé, the poor woman.
The finger lickin girlfriend reminds me of a story not so long ago where the gf would take small bites out of every piece of food in the house (and defend herself by calling it "quirky and cute". The consensus there was that it was all totally a power move on her part, and I think the same thing applies here. Fingers knows exactly what she's doing; she's laying claim.
the man in the second story was correct in what he did. i am disabled I know if anyone tried to treat me like that my husband would tell them whats what and leave with me. good for you man standing up for your wife
I'm on the Autism spectrum and hate it when people treat me like a baby or a child. People with disabilities deserve to be treated with respect and not talked down to.
I have disabilities too and none of my family or friends would expect me to sit at the kids' table or at another locations with a babysitter. That's so degrading and disrespectful. Since the couple is getting married, in their vows, they most likely have the line "For sickness and in health. and For better and worse". With saying these vows, they expect OP to ditch his wife while she's technically in the "sickness" and it could be the "worse" part of their marriage? OP is a wonderful man, supports his wife and obviously loves her very much.
1st story: my family had a dachshund who always escaped. The neighbors knew who he was. We always boarded up the fences tried putting big rocks and bricks to block and even head butt the fence. It got to a point we had to watch him and took turns because no matter what we did he would get out some how. As a dog owner ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY DOGS ARE LIKE BABIES!!!
I had a dog that was a major escape artist. She chewed through a fence the one time I left her outside unattended. I couldn’t take her anywhere without a harness. I couldn’t open the front door without a gate. If we went to someone’s house the dog was always in a leash. It would have been super easy for the OP to put a zip line for a dog leash in the backyard to stop it escaping but it’s easier to just go chasing after it I guess.
On the last story; A friend of mine who passed away recently was a romance novelist who wrote under a pen name. She never told ANYONE her pen name - not even her husband and they were married for decades! She passed away and he still doesn’t know what it was. He respected her choice! Was he curious? Absolutely, but he never demanded that she reveal her pen name because he loved, respected and trusted her.
The last story to me seemed even worse cause he seemed to be trying to guilt trip her by saying she doesn’t trust him. Being annoyed that his tactic didn’t work, then proceeding to invade her privacy, very ugly of him
But she doesn't trust him, and she is RIGHT : if he is watching her computer behind her back when she told him not to, it means he will tell somebody even if she asked him not to. Let alone if they split up. This guy is a liability !
@A.T.O.M Workshop Nope, she doesn't trust him. You need to have trust in a relationship, or it's not going to work. I don't see the point, if she claims she loves him, which of you're dating, you do, there should be no harm, but in her heart, she didn't love him. He felt the need to snoop because he needed to. It's more of a "if she's so afraid of people finding out what she's writing, then it has to be bad enough for her to not have pride in her work and would want to hide it..." So I'd think, most likely r4p3 smut or pedo shit, and if she's writing that kind of crap i wouldn't want to be with her.
@@ryancarter8134Or they have only been together 6 months and she not ready to trust him with this yet and he didn't need to snoop because he never said its not something I'm OK with (which it's just erotic novels anyway) but he needs to have full access rather than just read a sample and used multiple manipulation techniques to do so, major red flag territory.
@@ryancarter8134Also your logic of well if you got nothing to hide then I should be able to see is the same logic abusers use when wanting to check their phone and every location, no its simply that people should have to appease peoples paranoia and controlling behavior.
I’m listening to these stories today and when RSlash said my daughter is 2 I just thought to myself is omg I remember the first videos where he announced his daughter just being born and it’s already been 2 damn years. Thank you for keeping me captivated for so long
Oh my gosh!!! how has 2 years passed so quickly??!! and yes your absolutely right in not leaving the bathroom when there is water in the tub. Your an awesome dad!
I don’t like leaving a toddler in the bathroom alone is a good idea at all lol. My aunt told me this story about my cousin when he was around 2/3. She had left him in the bathroom to go try and find his brush and when she got back he had completely covered himself in baby powder from head to toe. She said that she learned a lesson after that. Whenever I see my cousin for the holidays he is referred to as Powdered Doughnut.
@@analyticalchick3064 When I was a teenager, I took a babysitting course which also included basic first aid that was provided by the American Red Cross. One of the topics covered was that children must never be unattended when there is water in the tub, all types of pools or other container that they could get into.
Dog story: My brother had a dog that did similar things. He built a bigger fence (the largest allowed by the city bylaws) and built it "backwards" so there wouldn't be any slats or anything to use to climb up. The first time the dog was allowed outside after the fence was built it was less than 5 minutes before she hopped the fence. He eventually realized he wasn't able to properly take care of her where she lived so he gave her to a buddy who lived on a farm and had much more space and the ability to keep her contained (no, this wasn't the "sent her to a farm upstate" thing. He went to visit a bunch and I went with him a few of the times).
Story 1: this could have been avoided if OP just... y'know... trained his dog to not scale 8ft fences to escape? Dogs are smart and if trained right they will know that behaviour means punishment. YTA. Story 2: good on OP for standing up to defend his wife. The brother and his wife were disrespecting his wife and I'm glad OP didn't yield. NTA. Story 3: What is the girlfriend doing?? Super gross of her to dip her (presumably) unwashed hands in the custard and lick it... its also a health and safety violation so I would have reacted the same way OP did. NTA. Story 4: OP is trampling on his girlfriend's boundaries - if she wanted to tell OP, she would do it once she felt comfortable. What OP did was a guarantee that the girlfriend will never reveal her work to him. YTA.
To be fair punishment for climbing shouldn't be the default. Dogs will often learn better if they get praise for staying in the yard in this case (or so I've heard)
@@thegamingsnorlax196 it's really telling that story 1 OP didn't train his dog to stay in the backyard because how else would you explain the dog just scaling a fence taller than itself to escape?
@@yabe-kfptentacultist oh I 100% agree training is necessary and the OP likely hasn't attempted even basic recall training. Was only pointing out that punishment isn't the best method for anything usually
Story 1: Yooo, you're right. He should totally punish the dog for doing dog things. Maybe like get a shock collar and when it escapes turn it up to 10 and blast the shit out of him right? >.>
dogs are so smart. if i make a specific sound all our dogs know it means "stop that!" because they are that smart. its not hard to train out bad behavior in dogs, OP is just a bad dog owner
Story 1) If your dog (who somehow manages to scale an 8 foot fence while barely standing a foot and a half off the ground if they have the infamous small boi Corgi legs) is getting out that much, then it sounds like you need to put up a yard leash. My grandpa had one for his Dalmatian, Spartacus, so the dog could run from one end of the yard to the other freely, but couldn't escape. Because at this point, it almost seems like you're hoping your dog escapes since you KNOW they can get out and you don't have them on a restrictive leash to keep them in the yard. It's not your wife's problem that your dog keeps getting out since you are basically letting them out yourself. YTA. Story 2) She ruined her own big day, not the other way around. You weren't going to stand by and let your brother and his fiance disrespect your wife and I'm ashamed of your parents for enabling such shitty behavior. Your parents are bad parents, end of discussion, because good parents would have seen this for what it was and told them off at the very least. NTA. Story 3) Dump your girlfriend, not only is she stepping all over your boundaries and blatantly disregarding what you ask of her, but she's not afraid to gaslight you to make you feel like the bad guy. This chick is bad news all around, get rid of her. NTA. Story 4) "My gf is being a huge asshole by not telling me who she is incognito so I can stalk what she rights to determine whether or not she's cheating on me! Then she gets mad and won't trust me despite the fact I tried to invade her privacy for my own gain by snooping around her personal belongings! As her bf, it is my RIGHT to know exactly what she writes because it makes all the difference in the relationship!"
On the last story, OP keeps pestering his gf for not telling him his penname, but as soon as things dont go his way, suddenly he tells his sister everything for another opinion... I wouldnt trust him w that kind of info either
What is OPs true reason for knowing? Is he wanting to use this to find her net worth? Bragging rights? Regardless not his business and at this point it will hopefully will never be
@@lorilancaster5917 some guys feel the need to control all sex related things involving their girlfriends/wives? idk, i just know that i've heard way too many stories about guys freaking out when it comes to their female partners when it comes to sex things.
@@abiean222 This is true! Also some guys do not want their gf or wife to have multiple sex partners before them but it wouldn't apply to themselves. They are the type of people who thinks women are sluts if they have a sexual history but it's acceptable for men to have a past.
THIS is why I don't tell those I date that I'm a writer due to THIS reason. As Writers we have a right to privacy and don't have to reveal our pen names. We HAVE THEM FOR A REASON. Privacy! I've broken up with my far share due to their "demands". OP gets 4/5 BG!
Finished my sanitation class for my pastry arts degree last week, the girlfriend could’ve easily killed someone with the contamination with any potential allergens but also food borne illness. Food born pathogens are no joke.
3rd story: I or my husband cook for friends on a weekly basis. This isn't for professional reasons, this is just our friends coming over to game and we feed them since we always host. If we need to taste something we always use a spoon. Diseases are a thing. And yes, allergens can transfer. That is why it is a big deal when you tell a restaurant you have a food allergy. They have to clean the entire area to make sure there is nothing there. They have to scrub their hands well and,of course, use brand new gloves. My friend's daughter had severe food allergies when she was very little, including tree nuts. My friend licked her finger to clean a bit of chocolate off her daughter's face and the little girl's face started to swell. She'd forgotten that two hours early she had eaten a handful of cashews. Epi pen and trip to the hospital later she was just fine, but shows how easy allergens transfer.
Story 2: Dont you always love it when people who dont know shit say "its for the best" pretending its for that person, when its actually for themselves? So sorry for OP, couldnt imagine doing that to my brother or him doing that to me, its a "i have no brother" point.
He 100% thinks writing erotica is cheating or criticism on his performance in bed; it’s just the only part of his shit show he was smart enough to leave out.
@@gaxalee7392 Idk, lol. It seems pretty obvious but the way he wrote that he is _deeply_ insecure about potentially being compared to fictional characters.
Growing up my family had a miniature dachshund which are about the same size as a Corgi. We put him on a leash in the backyard, that has attached to the deck so we didn't have to stay outside with him. He watched him through the sliding glass door and left him to do his business for a couple moments and let him back in. You would think after a couple times of the dog getting out that we would invest in a good outdoor leash.
I have a dog run at my house that allows my kid's dog to run almost the full area of the yard. It consists of clothesline wire between 2 points that has a bearing with a clip riding on it attached to another length of wire going down off of the first one with a leash clip attached. It was easy peasy & the dog loves it. The best part is after it was installed there has been zero escapes. It only took once for us to find a different solution. This guy is a moron & inconsiderate af.
Story 3: OP's girlfriend needs to grow up and stop being a pouting brat 😒 Seriously, she can't keep her hands out of the cookie jar? What is she, four?
The wedding story, last night my husband and I went to a wedding. I was in my wheelchair. You know what everyone's response was; they moved out of my way when I asked, helped me through doors that had a high threshold, made sure I could reach the food at the reception, people even moved chairs so I could sit at the table or be in line with the rows for the ceremony. One of the people who worked for the Temple even apologised that the building wasn't super accessable, which I'd not agree with. My only issue was the high thresholds. The doors I could get still. What do you know? It's not hard to just let disabled people be.
*First OP:* I think it's safe to assume the engagement/relationship is over. There's no way to come back from that, no matter how stressed OP is. OP is TA. Also, why did his sister call OP's dog a mutt? :/ *Second OP:* I'm speechless. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* What is it with guys yelling at their girlfriends/fiancees?! OP is T- wait, she dipped her fingers in the jar? OP is NTA. WTF, rSlash?! LMAO *Fourth OP:* I like how OP accused his girlfriend of not trusting him while he tried to snoop on her laptop. Looks like this OP can join the First OP in the Idiot Partners Club. OP is TA.
Everybody’s just reaming story 1’s OP ( which they should) and here I am just impressed with the dog climbing up a fence almost as tall as Sultan Kosen. Props to you, doggo.
Former chef here. Yes, food being contaminated isn't limited to germs. Somebody with severe food allergies could absolutely go into anaphylactic shock if she introduced an allergen with her *disgusting* behavior.
Fr, it's so easy to happen too, especially if she's not washing her hands
I found I have two food allergies a few years ago. I have to be careful what I eat if I don't have my allergy meds. Cross contamination has always been a conscious effort. When I was first doing testing for it, called an elimination diet, I had to look at all my foods very carefully. I even had my mom help me figure out what allergens were or weren't in the food. If someone put they're fingers or a utensil used previously on an allergen of mine, put it in the food, and I consume it later without knowing I can get very sick. Some people can die. This woman has no regard for others.
I know someone with Gluten allergies and they have separate kitchen ware and almost a separate kitchen from the rest of the family because of cross contamination.
Also behave like a pig, then you will be called a pig. I would have thrown the whole girlfriend out.
Absolutely
I have several severe food allergies that require me to carry 2 epi-pens at all times, and I rarely eat out or order food (or even eat food at other people’s houses and so on) because I can never be sure of cross contamination (which for me leads to anaphylactic shock).
People don’t ever seem to realize how serious this really is.
Yeah, I have a bunch of allergies, and I always have to check 100 time before I even touch the food.
"Everyone is on my side except my sister"
Honestly, this guy needs more people in his life to kick him when he's wrong
I’m wondering what story OP gave them? Unless he associates with psychopaths I think he gave them a different story
@@lorilancaster5917 Right? Like, do they know this dog gets out all the time, or do they think this was a first? Because that bit of info should change everything.
how many people did he tell? his sister and who else? his reflection?
Idk...the wife is pretty bad too. It's her dog as well and if she can't take care of a dog, she shouldn't be trusted to have a kid
@@somnus970 not necessarily true about it being her dog.. she might not even like dogs. The dogs here are my husbands. not mine. The cats are mine and I take care of them. he takes care of his. Now I might drop some food down if its dinner time and he aint here but no im not chasing them around the neighborhood several times a week especially if pregnant and not feeling good.
I would charge the girlfriend everytime she contaminated a batch with how much the order was, which of course she would complain about
That's such a good idea, omg
I wouldn't stay in a relationship in which I was so blatantly disrespected.
It seems like GF is purposely sabotaging OP's relationship with his sister and/or sister's bakery.This is definitely a hill for OP to die on.
The fact she also tries to shift it on op with some "shaming" word... No accountability in her whatsoever.
It's grounds for a break up, as far as I'm concerned.
“My fiancé FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT” “Fatigue and exhaustion” he wrote, read it, and posted it and still have the audacity to ask
About the cake/custard story:
Yes. She absolutely could’ve transferred allergens to a client’s order. I have Celiac’s and if I’m ever making food or am ordering food, it has to be cooked/prepared with separate utensils. If someone were making me a pizza and used the sauce spoon on a regular pizza, and then dipped it back into the sauce and used it on my pizza, that’s major cross contamination. I could end up on the floor in a ball while my insides rip itself apart. I also have a genetic migraine disorder that presents stroke symptoms that can be triggered by lots of things, including the intense aftermath of eating an allergen.
So yeah, I’d be pretty pissed if she’d dipped her grubby fingers in a custard I’d ordered. And I’d be in literal danger. She’s 100% the asshole.
I don't have Celiacs but I have really bad gluten intolerance. I feel this. Even small amount of spices with gluten, can throw me in the bathroom sick to my stomach. Separating utensils at home and washing my hands frequently when prepping something with gluten at work (I work somewhere where its very often I wil touch SOMETHING with gluten) are a must when cooking. My sister doesnt really understand why I do this, says its just a few minutes of discomfort for me to go through. But I would be very upset, regardless if I wasn't making me something gluten free, if someone just kept dipping fingers into the batter I was making. Cross contamination aside, the germs! Even if I trusted my oven completely, I would still be icked out after.
@@iEmnerz Tell your sister that it's none of her business and that she doesn't need to understand
It's not harming/upsetting anyone and it's actually preventing that you yourself get harmed, so it's absolutely okay for you to do whatever it is that you're doing
@@CaptainTom_EW it’s the girlfriend that keeps contaminating the food for OPs sister. If gf wants to be a child about it then OP should send her back to her parents.
@@lorilancaster5917 I’m betting it was a power move. The “I can do what I want and you have to deal”. It’s just passive aggressive bs.
@@lorilancaster5917 The person you were replying to said sister because it's a response to someone talking about their sister
The wedding story is nuts, the parents don’t even agree yet tell OP “you need to get over your ego”, they intentionally excluded your wife and somehow you’re meant to be okay with that?
We’re disabled, we’re not a burden, but some people treat our existence like we’re some huge burden to them, it’s pretty disgusting but it does make it easier to know who to never talk to again.
I have disabilities too and it's so degrading and disrespectful to do that to an adult and I can't imagine any of my family or friends doing that. Obviously they won't take their marriage vows seriously if they include "For better or worse" and "In sickness and health" if they expect OP to disrespect his own marriage and stick his wife with a babysitter. In my opinion, if the parents told him to get over his ego, they DO agree with the bride and groom. If they didn't, they wouldn't have said that.
I’d guess they didn’t want to have to explain to the extended family why he isn’t there and that’s why they said this. But, isn’t OP a perfect example of what marriage should be? Like would he and his wife being there be the ultimate expression of love? If my sibling did this I’d never want to see them again.
It wasn't even a disability but an injury.
@@Milkymalk Injuries can be the cause of disability, and in this case, from OP's description of her needs, it sounds like her injury has caused disability.
For example, if you break your leg, you are temporarily disabled because you can't walk without assistance. You will most likely heal and become able-bodied again. But the same injury could become infected or result in other complications that may end up requiring amputation, which would lead to a more severe, and permanent, disability.
Many people lose their hearing from illness, such as meningitis. Many amputees lose their limbs later in life, rather than being born without them. Or lose vision from an eye injury. Or lose the ability to walk from a spinal injury, or an illness that causes them tremendous pain.
It isn't the cause that makes it a disability; it's the effect, and whether you can function at your "normal" expected capacity or not.
Hope that makes sense :)
@@GoddessOfThree Sorry for making you write up all that, but I already knew that :) The way I understood it though, his wife was temporarily "disabled", or he probably wouldn't have mentioned "from an injury" (or "sickness", not sure which it was) because mentioning that implies that once the injury/sickness is cured, she is fully able again. The text does not make this 100% clear, but that is my interpretation.
I love how in the second story the parents told op to “get over his ego” but it’s not about ego. It’s about respecting and defending his fucking wife, you’d think as a couple whose been married for decades of all people they’d understand that
Can't say I am surprised by their stance, that's just how ableists are sometimes. When you have a mental disability or brain injury, ableists think it's their right to treat you as a child and an inconvenience. Anyone who stands up to defend you will get gaslit into thinking they're the problem and everyone else is treating you as you should be treated in their minds. Speaking from experience as someone with autism, ADHD and dyslexia.
Theyre Incredibly disrespectful...
I can’t believe how disrespectful they were being to his wife. How unfeeling they were to make her stay with the kids.
And to add to it.... THEY are getting married! You know, "better or worse.... sickness and health...." smh op is a great husband and the wedding couple sucks.
I also like how they said that OP had to respect his brother's choice to disrespect OP's wife, but they didn't respect OP's choice to drop out of the wedding after his wife was disrespected
Story 3: the girlfriend isn’t being dumb, she’d being malicious. She waited until he was walking out of the shower to stick her finger in the jar? She’s trying to assert some kind of control or dominance.
The mental image of the small dogs scaling the 8ft fence is fucking sending me 😂 some dogs are insane escape artists
I'm just imagining a furry blur shooting up the fence.
I have a really barrel shaped dog and everyone thinks hes fat until they see him climbing our fence for the first time before they realize its all muscle 😂 we had to fix the issue with a cone
My family had a chow chow/German shepherd mix named bear. I called him the reincarnation of Harry Houdini because no matter what we did that dog wouldn’t stay in the dog pen.
It's a modded 8 ft fence meant to prevent animals from climbing over, which makes it even more insane.
We had a hamster that was the same.
The woman who is dipping her fingers into the food is 100% doing it on purpose to undermine his relationship with his sister
Had not thought of that, but now that you say it, I can't help but think you are right. The only reason I could think of is that she was deliberately winding him up to get a reaction like wanting rough play but not knowing how to ask. Good catch.
@@foremanhaste5464if someone wants rough play that's a pretend bdsm type thing not a legit you piss someone off thing so their actually annoyed with you which of cous3 wouldn't out someone in the mood
As soon as OP said his dog escapes multiple times a week my mind was already made up. My biggest pet peeve is irresponsible dog owners
It's OP's dog which make it his problem. OP is not only the AH but he's lucky that he's not a single AH.
@@peterhobson3262 very lucky
It sounds to me like he intentionally lets his dog escape because he wants to mess with his wife
@@Nerobyrne really needs to find a different joke then if that’s the case, because he’s not only risking his dog’s life but the well-being of anyone around him.
@@shadowfang269 oh no, there's no joke.
He just wants to hurt his wife.
The guy in the beginning complains that his girlfriend or whatever has no empathy for him, but he has none for her, and she's pregnant with his baby. The logic this guy has 😂
For the third story: I know my boyfriend likes to bake. I do too but sparingly. If he was helping make custard or buttercream or frosting for a cake and told me not to stick my finger in it, I’d listen! As a kid, I’d sometimes eat frosting from the container (in small increments cuz too much sugar) and now I wait till I’ve set the cake or pie batter in the oven to bake and just lick the remnants off the bowl, mixer blades, and spatula. So the girlfriend saying “oh I like dipping my finger in cuz it links me to my childhood” is a really lame excuse. At the fact she did it 5 times, it’s more like “I hear you but I don’t care”
Totally agree. But if one does want to use their finger. Do so only on your personal (for yourself only) batches. Even then a spoon is still better because it gets more than a finger.
@@luna_theraider easier to clean too. just chuck that spoon in the sink to soak for 10 minutes and boom, easy clean. your finger? lol, scrub and scrub and let it still feel dirty
I guarantee if OP was to make a batch for his girlfriend to have for herself she would probably still sick her fingers in the batch not for her, along with the excuse, "I was making sure they taste the same."
Considering "use a spoon" isn't a simple enough instruction she clearly doesn't care.
It's her way of "asserting dominance", both over OP's sister, and OP too. Clearly, if she wanted some, she could've easily asked her boyfriend "Hey, I'd like some too: could you make more with the batch?"
This is not a case of poor self-control or anything of the sort: she's intentionally sabotaging those cakes so that her boyfriend will end up giving up, and stop spending time and effort for his sister instead of for herself. Completely stupid and bratty? Yes. Likely to end up sending her packing due to the major red flag this is? Absolutely.
@@bragnir a lot of people in the comments of the original post suggested the same thing
I feel so bad for OP’s wife in the 2nd story. Imagine going through an accident and having difficulties doing tasks as simple as feeding yourself, and you husband’s family just wants you to deal with it and be separated from the event?
“My gf doesnt trust me”
*proceeds to try and access her laptop while shes asleep*
Sometimes you'll have to play dirty
@Gabriel Parsons yeah because the entire purpose of using a pen name as author is to be able to remain anonymous/private outside of your writing, if they were married i could understand op's point a tad more, but after half a year of DATING, i'd tell him to get his controlling ass out and not come back. i also write as a hobby and i wouldn't trust someone who i've been with for half a year with my pen name just 'because they're curious' i could try and give hints nudging them to the books if they really wanted to know, but that would still take at least 2 years of committed relationship. it's not a thing of trusting the person or not, it's about ensuring your privacy why you use a pen name in the first place which you put at risk and seeing op's reaction to not being told as he 'demanded' he would probably be the kind of guy who hold it over your head or weaponize it if the relationship ever broke down
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 As a bf or gf, you are not entitled to sensitive information. If you try to force it out repeatedly, it should be an automatic deal breaker.
Check your entitlement douchebag
First he demands to know. Second he plays calm but is still relentless. Third he tries to hack into her laptop. Gf may can press charges especially regarding the computer
you know, something tells me that if she wrote kids books or something not erotica he wouldn't have any problem with not knowing what her pen name is.
The girlfriend who kept getting into the filling: She wasn't just not listening and contaminating the filling that OP made. She was consistently breaking a boundary behind his back. That's enough of a reason to kick her to the curb.
As the dog owner, it's OP's responsibility to watch the dog, care for the dog, and keep the dog safe, which includes not letting the dog OP knows is an escape artist be left unsupervised. Damn man, get some freaking obedience classes, a leash, and leave that poor woman alone!
Just put a fuckin roof, it's not that hard.
"curled up on the sofa" thats the terminology OP used to describe the state of his fiancé. i don't know about y'all, but if i or someone i know is "curled up" anywhere its because we're miserable and about to be sick. that poor woman
If my partner didnt help me with my dog im breaking up with her everytime thats my kid is he a bad dog owner ya but that has nothing to do with it if my gf says she lost her godson in a game of poker im not gonna go "thats your fault im tired im not helping u get the kid back" im gonna get the kid back because i care about her and that care extends to living things that she values
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 I hope he does so his partner can take him to court for child support since he's such a doofus he's not responsible enough for a dog let alone a human child
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 are you ok in the head? She is pregnant the fact that op loses their dog multiple times a week mean that they are irresponsible and shouldn't own an animal
4th Story: I'm so glad I'm not the only one that noticed something was wrong. When OP said, "I tried a nicer approach..." I felt some major sus vibes. As the story progressed it became more apparent that OP is probably a manipulator. First, he "dragged" information the his GF obviously didn't want to share out of her. Then, he demands she give him her pen name so that he knows what she does (this feels like him not wanting her to do anything without his knowledge), then accuses her of not trusting him to literally gaslight her into giving him info she doesn't want to share with anyone. Also, when he "tries a nicer approach," he does it to drop her guard so she gives him what he wants. He then proceeds to go behind his GF's back to access the info from her computer, gets mad when he can't go through HER personal info, and tries to gaslight her AGAIN then demanded SHE apologize. All in all OP's GF needs to get out of that relationship asap because if OP is willing to be this manipulative over something so insignificant, who knows what else he's doing to her.
it sounds like she already dumped him lol. good for her if she did, and good for her for maintaining her boundaries.
If your dog escapes every week you need to start putting a harness on it every time you take it outside and leash it to your door.
or you know, don't leave the dog outside alone
@@abiean222 Since he can't seem to do that, taking a second to attach a leash and harness to the dog is the best bet.
It's like knowing that your 2-year-old toddler has a tendency to wander into traffic and leaving the poor bastard on the sidewalk
Or an electric fence that has a special collar. I'm not into that kind of thing for dogs but the owner is so irresponsible I'm afraid it might get hit by a vehicle.
Story 2: I would have said, “gosh, I hope you never get hurt or your husband might hire a babysitter for you while he goes to grown up parties 🙂 doesn’t that sound nice?”
thats what i was thinking too lol.
Facts 🥰
Last story: Another red flag is his "nice" approach. Him pretending that he wants to know to help her fulfill some of her fantasies when really it is just about him getting what he wants. Very manipulative
Good to know gf isn’t playing his games but I hope she dumped him
Another red flag is her knowing to change her password. That means he either had a history of doing that, or he has threatened to do that. Either way it’s a red flag
Yeah, you heard that too? “So I tried a nicer approach” AFTER he tried five mean ways. GTFO
@@lorilancaster5917 My guess is that the "apology coming with her pen name" never came and she just forgot about him and moved on with her life.
That last story had another huge subtle clue about how bad he is. Even he acknowledged that he saw trying to be nice about the situation as a backup option. Like...what kind of person thinks being nice to the people in their life shouldn't be the first approach at all times?!?
Try being respectful maybe (to OP)
@@WolfgangDoWhuh ??😂
3rd story - I’m not in the food industry and even I know what food contamination means and how serious it is. That girlfriend is just plain disrespectful, selfish and disgusting. I’m wondering if she’s doing it maliciously so ‘oh well, I guess it has to stay here now.’ Or if she is just a complete jerk. She can’t be that dumb/oblivious at this point.
honestly some people are just that dumb and oblivious.
watching these type of videos for a good while just proves that they do exist and it is a tragedy they have the same voting power as other people.
After four previous times, it is all about some sort of control game. GF is definitely pushing OP's boundaries to establish some form of dominance. The 'fat-shaming' accusation is an attempt to deflect from her own actions.
Yea, as you said, i doubt she is that dumb/oblivious. The behavior could have a really simple explanation actually. OP makes a new batch every time she dips her finger and contaminate the food. What do you think happens to the old batch? I am guessing it goes down her gullet, that's the only option left really, other than throwing it all in the trash. She can enjoy it all to herself if she just dips her finger in, so she does. She isn't dumb/oblivious, she's simply an ahole who doesn't care about troubling others so long as it can benefit her...
Honestly, I'd have dumped her. "We're done. Get out. I'm not dealing with this for the rest of my life where you clearly REFUSE to act like an adult."
It has to be sabotage.
That first story is literally the definition of not my monkey not my circus The fiance is dealing with a much more important problem of growing a human being if you can't control your animal and can't train your animal that's on you
Has the guy from the first story never heard of a leash? If your dog is escaping every single week there’s a problem. And that’s before you factor in making your pregnant fiancé chase them down.
Or training it
yea there are really long leashes for this reason alone
If he's that irresponsible with his dog, I hate to see how it goes when he's married and have kids.
Exactly. If the fence doesn't work, try something else. OP's an idiot.
@@90charmedndangerous that was my thought, every dog should have an emergency recall. Put simply, you train your dog to come when called by rewarding, right? So you get a whistle (at least if you can’t whistle loudly) or something loud and distinct from your regular recall. Any time the dog comes when it hears the emergency cue, they get MAJOR rewards. Like chicken or some other super high value reward
That first story is honestly the one that infuriates me the most. OP's dog is an accomplished escape artist, and does so at least once a week. How hard is it to bring the dog inside when he can't be watched? Why doesn't he tether the dog to a piece of furniture, a stake in the ground, the door, or himself? Personally, I think that dog is trying to get a message the OP's fiancee: RUN AWAY. Get out of there while you still have the chance, girl!
Story 3: She just thinks that OP doesn't want her to eat anymore. No, OP just doesn't want her to eat the custard with fingers like a toddler. Just use a pecking spoon, it's not that hard!
And who cares if using fingers brings you back to your childhood? When my mom made chocolate chip cookie dough, I ate some with a clean spatula!
We waited until my mom was finish, and then one would get the wishp or spoon, one the spatula, and the Third would get the Bowl.
Otherweise, if we dipped out fingers in the goodies, the punishment was a slap on the hand, and No treat with the others.
Guess we got the message as toddlers 😉😂😂😂
If i remember correctly this story has an update. Basically, the girlfriend was just jealous of the amount of time OP was spending helping his sister. The girlfriend was sabotaging him on purpose.
@@curtisalex456 duh
@@curtisalex456 So he dumped her, right?
*Anakin stare*
...Right?
I think it's not about eating itself. She's committed to ruining his work for his sister. Maybe she doesn't like the sister or the fact that he's spending his time doing it.
About the girlfriend childishly putting her finger in OP’s food, for me it’s a major red flag! It’s her little satisfaction and pleasure first no matter the consequences and nowadays, the consequences can be very bad. On top of that, instead of understanding why she shouldn’t do that, she cried because OP caught her doing it AGAIN after SO MANY TIMES he asked her no to do so. If she can’t see the reason why OP doesn’t want her to do that, it tells a lot about that person and OP should breakup with that woman.
About the last story, rSlash YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!
yes, exactly that, not to mention how she says to op that he is fat shaming her, like tries to make op feel bad by twisting his words,
manipulative in my opinion. like, lady, he is just telling you to use a spoon , be respectful ,it's not even for you.
@@dinlupus3196 ABSOLUTELY!!👏👏👍❤️
Definitely. I consider this to be break up material
I got the vibe that she was doing it intentionally because she doesn't like that her boyfriend is this helpful to his sister or some other convoluted BS. With as much as happens with this, this has to be malicious, intentional, and some sort of power move. Call me cynical and jaded, but that's what I get out of it
3rd story: it’s hilarious how she thinks Op is fat shaming her when he said nothing of the sort but not to use her fingers 😂
Maybe she thought he was saying her finger were as big as tablespoons. Still ludacris
She's gas-lighting. Its a disgusting manipulation tactic and a major red flag. Combined with the rest of her actions, OP should kick this b*itch to the curb.
I assume it was the "stop eating" comment that got twisted in her head
As someone who writes fiction in my spare time, I feel like it's such a violation of trust to demand her pen name. It's clear that OP has issues to want to know what they wrote, as if they're trying to see if they wrote about them. Or use stupid mental gymnastics to somehow interpret their writing to mean something about them internally. Girlfriend is not the bad guy, OP is.
I totally understand if someone has issues with their partner writing adult content (as someone who used to take commissions for spicy writing myself) but if that is a boundary for them then it's completely the wrong way to approach it.
You can ask to know and explain that it makes you uncomfortable but if they say no that's the end of it, you either leave the relationship or deal with it because its your issue not your partners.
If you decide to break up with someone because they write spicy content and aren't willing to share that part of their life with you then you are totally justified in doing so but trying to force them to tell you then blatantly breaking their trust, trying to trick them into telling you and then going behind their back to try and get that information makes you the bad guy.
Its OK to have boundaries and deal breakers (doesn't matter how silly or seemingly insignificant they are) but you need to understand that they are your issue and not your partners, so you can't force them to cross their boundaries to accommodate yours.
If two dealbreakers or hard boundaries contradict each other then you leave the relationship, you don't get angry at the other person for not crossing their line to accommodate yours because that's just outright hypocrisy
I write fanfiction too and bro, I'm not in it when my family asks what I write about. The only person I've ever talked about my writing with has been my godmama(she's super chill, so I find it fun). Only issue is, I sign my art with my pen name, so unless I'm with someone too stupid to connect the dots, its easy to find mine.
OP sounds like a controlling AH. He needs to back off.
The fact that he's so obviously manipulative in trying to achieve this goal too. "I told her she didn't trust me and she still didn't tell me which was really annoying" he doesn't seem upset by trust here at all. He seems upset that invoking trust didn't immediately get him what he wanted. Similarly he mentions "her fantasies" which, if he really wanted to know, he would have stuck on longer. They could have a conversation. But he doesn't actually care about her fantasies, he invokes them in order to try to get what he wants
Aliases are a sacred thing for any kind of creator. Be it for RUclips, art, books, etc, privacy needs to be respected. It's fine to ask once or maybe request a work sample if you're truly that curious, but if they say no, then there's a good reason for it. Pushing the matter is only going to make them want to share their work and second identity with you less. Pen names were created and used as a shield to protect the person behind the work. They were used to freely express yourself while remaining safe. Perhaps that isn't as common now, but it's still a very significant thing. Maybe if they were married and full trust was there then yeah, they might be comfortable sharing. It's a privilege to know, not a right.
As someone who likes to make sweets, that girl friend from the third story is playing very dangerous games. She's very fortunate that it isn't sent, because she could possibly kill people with allergies and the like with such disgusting behaviors.
OP's wife in the first story deserves better. If he's this irresponsible with his dog I'd be terrified to see how neglectful he'd be to the baby.
I agree
It's a premonition.
She needs to run 🏃🏽♀️
The INSTANT I heard 'My sister runs a bakery' on that third story, I knew what was coming and I STILL got pissed off about it.
Last story: I love how he words his actions like rSlash pointed out. "confront, demand" like he is trying to hide the fact he is such a pushy person
The one that gets me is "I told her she didn't trust me and she still didn't tell me which was annoying" like... If you're serious about a partner and they don't trust you that feels much worse than annoying.
He even says it. He's not annoyed by the lack of trust, he's annoyed that using that didn't manipulate her into giving him what he wants
Controlling, he wants to control her and wants access to her secret information, both to use as leverage against her and to decide if it's something he wants her to stop doing or not.
WHEN she calls to apologise, I EXPECT her pen name with the apology. Siobahn, run for your life and don't look back.
What cracks me up about this guy is that it doesn't seem to have occurred to him yet that he's now and "ex" boyfriend!
@@ProfessorChaosKitty That bit is a red flag, like it's clear that to us, it should obviously be the other way around, but he wants her to apologise as well as her pin name, as if he thinks he's right about all this and is waiting for her to finally give into his demands so that he can control her. Like, is he legit honestly expecting that from her at this point and time?
Let's all wish a massive and wholehearted good luck to the newly married couple who wanted OP to exclude his wife. I sincerely, truly hope that neither of them are ever in an accident, or get some sort of disease that could affect their mobility, speech, ability to swallow, etc. "In sickness and in health" apparently was NOT part of this couple's vows...!
Story 3: does your GF not like your sister? Frankly you shouldn't have to tell her not to dip her finger in something that is going to be sold to a customer, but you did five times. You told her to get a spoon but she refused it to and then gave a BS excuse. Either your girlfriend has no self-control or is sabotaging your sister because I imagine ingredients aren't cheap and remaking it it just wasting them.
100% sabotage, against OP's sister and OP too.
Also cheap or not it's a waste of ingredients and time, the little shit has done it 5 times. I think OP needs to reconsider staying with her, she shows no respect nor self control with such a small thing so we can imagine how well something more serious would go
I was thinking maybe "if I dip my fingers in and he remakes the custard, that means he leaves the old custard here and I can eat it all"
@fightingblind I was thinking that too. Or else shes just one of those arrogant people who thinks if I don't care no one else should. I've literally met people who can't comprehend that any one could possibly have a different thought proces than themselves.
I'd dump her at that point if I were OP she clearly doesn't respect his boundaries.
Second Story: That's a husband. I respect the shit out of the husband for standing up for his wife and for ignoring pressure from his family and sticking by his wife. Not only does he help her and stand by her side (as he should) but he stood up for her entirely (as he should). That's what a real husband would do. Good man.
I had sympathy until he said the dog gets out at least once a week. Like dude, get an electric fence or something. There are solutions other than bothering your poor wife and telling her that you hate her.
@Just A Person , had a really good suggestion of angling the fence which is better than an electric fence, didn't realize this comment would be so devisive. I don't have an electric fence because my dogs are trained. I don't agree with shock collars. I don't use them on my dogs because again, they're trained. I've had one dog who jumped my 8ft fence and it was a rat terrier so I believe that his small dog could do the same. What we did was re-home her because she wasn't a good fit. She found a very loving home that could properly house her
A damn leash
@@soulgazer11 A leash would solve the problem so easily
Yo I don’t think the electric fence is a good solution since electrocuting dogs is kinda… bad but other than that I agree completely
And long leashes aren't either if the dog scales fences. Hanging much?
I disagree with this. I own a dog like this, electric fences make it worse. It just makes them run farther, and makes them more scared. Depending on the dog, they can break a leash/their collar. Shock collars are awful, and most cities won't let fences go to high. I think what he said was awful, but I get being panicked. But that in no way excuses what he did. He found the dog, he needs to do a hell of a lot to apologize.
The first girlfriend is definitely sadly thinking about all the scenarios about her bf being a dad since he loses his dog every week... maybe even having second thoughts
Tells her she doesn't trust him immediately shows why she shouldn't trust him. Great job OP
He's already like this now, it's not that far a stretch that he really would leak her pen name WHEN they do break up. She was right on to keep it from him, because she already knows how he is. His actions just confirmed it for her.
He did nothing wrong. Don’t write smut you whre.
@@nadiel42 good. She’s gross and is hiding shit from her bf.
@@thejayinator585 Gasp! A woman who is sexually active! Listen buddy hate to tell you that you weren't an immaculate conception either...
But you and people like you are the reason she wants to keep her penname to herself.
@@thejayinator585 there is nothing wrong with writing books even if it’s spicy content. He’s not her husband he doesn’t need to know everything right away. The fact he tried to break into her laptop and demand things is crazy and you can’t justify it
Honestly, the biggest red flag in that last story wasn't anything rslash pointed out. It was, that after demanding she tell him, the OP outright stated "then I tried a nicer method." The dude outright admitted he knew he was being a douchebag, that he chose to be said douchebag FIRST, before being "nice" about it, and that the only reason he was "nice" was because he didn't get what he wanted the first time.... manipulative as all hell, that guy.
Third Story: I've heard this story a couple of times and I am convinced the gf is doing this on purpose. OP should throw the whole gf out imo.
The creepiest thing about OP in the last story, is that he wanted to read her erotica to try it out on her. Didn’t ask, just assumed she would be interested in it. Which based on his behavior, he 100% would badger her endlessly to play out scenarios from her books or would shame her for writing it.
Imagine if it was flipped to gore based horror rather than erotica. Then all of a sudden "Trying it out" on your parter would suddenly be horrific and psychotic. Simply because it's put in writing, it doesn't mean the author wants to be put in the position of the characters. It's common sense and yet it seems many people lack it.
Due to a stroke, my wife's in a similar situation as the second story OP's wife. She sometimes needs help but can still do many things on her own. If ANYONE in my family pulled the kind of shit OP's brother and SIL did, 1000% I'd do the same thing as OP. Main difference is - the rest of my family would absolutely be on my side about it. It's not about ego, it's about fucking respect. Probably the first time I've heard a story here that LEGIT made me angry.
Story 2 about the wedding: the brother and wife are absolutely disgusting. The fact the parents are defending it really shows just how gross they are, condemning a disabled person to the kids area is so demeaning and really makes me hope their marriage falls through
Story 1: So OP knows the dog has this problem, yet still leaves the dog unattended, and then blames the pregnant woman who is already exhausted and feeling sick for not wanting to go out yet again to fix the problem caused by his own inattention
I keep hoping for an update which the fiancée moves out and dumps him
@@lorilancaster5917 as she should
Ya but thats not the point if your partners dog is loose help them find the dog if your partners dog is loose and its there fault help them find the freaking dog if your partner makes a mistake help them fix it cause thats what being in a partnership is about u try to avoid mistakes in the future but above that u try to fix the mistakes of the past
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 She has been helping him fix that mistake, over and over and over again. And this time she was exhausted and sick, so maybe she needed some consideration
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 the man admitted this happens every week. She's pregnant enough to be curled up sick on the couch, how many times has she already done this? A line has to be drawn, like you said yourself, you should try to avoid mistakes, it's part of the partnership. He's not doing his part.
I love how in the first story he writes"Unleashed some yelling" putting it in passive in an attempt to wash off any responsibility.
*Police pounding on the door*
"Come out! We got a warrent!! Also, we're the dark side!"
"Nope! I'm on bathtub duty!"
Story 3: It's not fat shaming, it's shaming an AH person who doesn't have any consideration for their significant other or anyone else around them. 😑
Honestly, Op should probably just not date her anymore if she can't respect the most basic of boundaries.
Story 5: Gee, I wonder why Op's girlfriend doesn't trust them? Could it be the constant nagging trying to get her pen name out of her? Could it be the fact that Op is secretly trying to go through her laptop and other things try and get the information out of her? Why are they so damn nosy? She writes erotic fiction, so what? That's all Op needs to know! If she doesn't want them to know what pen name she's writing under then she doesn't want them to know, so just leave it at that! Op's girlfriend has every right to her own privacy! 😤
Story 2: The parents think OP not going is about ego?!? NO, he's standing by his wife! It's an f*ing wedding and they want him to disrespect his own marriage. What are they on
i'm getting "golden child and scapegoat" vibes from that story
2nd story: OP is totally in the right. His brother and sister-in-law are both ablest jerks who "ruined" their own wedding. And the parents saying "we don't agree, but it is their wedding," what a cop out.
Story 2: oh my GOD can you IMAGINE being that awful and insensitive, also to think OP would just, yanno, drop his adult wife off at daycare like a 3 year old
Last story: I'm an author myself and while the more spicy stuff isn't my main thing, I do write it sometimes (haven't published anything yet but we're getting there). My partner knows all this, and also writes a little themself. You know what the normal thing is to do when your partner doesn't want to share something they're working on is? You respect it! You don't try to brute-force your way into their laptop!
Used to have an art page (nothing nsfw) and sometimes told my mom about a nice comment I got or that I was proud my follower count (got probably 100 at most but I was very happy that many people liked my art). She knew I didn't want to share the @ to family or friends (they're all nice and respectful so it wasnt for any malicious reason) and she always respected that. She never pushed or pried and when I shared something I was happy about she was happy for me. I do show them some pieces occationally but its nice to just have something thats yours or something you can just share with strangers. Can imagine it's similar with publishing writing under a different name.
They'll show you if they want to or when it's finished. Trying to force it out of them is a great way to never be shown any of their work every again. Creative projects (like art, writing, composing ect.) are generally something so personal, it has little pieces of the creator inside. To some people, showing your work is like stripping naked and if someone doesnt want to show you their work it's not hard to just respect that!
Sorry for rambling, your comment just got me going on the topic and people who try to force an artist or author of any kind to show their work when they dont consent to is infuriating. Hope any future publishing goes well!
I'm just sitting here staring at my wall, which is about 8ft I think, wondering how the hell a dog can climb that hight so fearlessly
Dogs are like that sometimes lol
Corners, and proberbly he has the rafters on his side.
I would have put 2-3 feet acryllic slaps on the top side of the fence.
Nor dog or cat can climb that.
11:45 The third story, your concerns about contamination are absolutely possible! My roommate is a chef, he’s deathly allergic to pecans, but only if consumed. While he was still in school they made something with pecans, his partner didn’t clean the counter well enough, rolled a bread dough on the same counter, and some of the pecan oil was still there, and he had a reaction when they tried the bread. Thankfully he had an epipen, but it is still completely possible.
Last story: I bet that when OP found out his girlfriend writes erotica, he got furious and basically equated it to cheating or finding out that she is a porn star. Like every action he took make it sound he is suspecting her off sleeping with other men. Because god forbid a woman having sexual thoughts and putting them in writing. And given that OP is (most likely) trying to make make him sound good here, the truth on how he tried and find out his GFs pen name must be even worse. I hope OP gets dumped by her, he is super toxic.
A heeler is a dog with a lot of energy. Mix it with a corgi and it's a tiny ball of energy. I think OP isn't spending enough time with the dog letting it release all that pent up energy. No wonder it wants to have a run around once a week.
last story op seems like the sort of person that would doxx the pen name if they break up someday.
First story: Somebody needs to get a newspaper and hit OP on the head and tell him "No! No! Bad dog owner! Bad boyfriend! Bad, bad, bad!"
Or a spray bottle filled with water. Whenever he acts like an asshole or refuse to take responsibility for his dog just start spraying him.
@@Kamechan98 Or fox piss.
Bro do they not have a fence that be the first thing I would do before getting a dog
@@crimsonflareumbreon1290hey said in the post the fence is 8ft. They need to get a harness and tie it to something at this point or slant the top inwards.
@@xxoxEVAxoxx op really need to get his shit together-
Bro the guy in the last story is so manipulative. "She set a boundary, which was annoying, so I tried to seem nice. Then I invaded her privacy while she slept."
Story 4: OP lost me the moment he said he "demanded" from her, and it just kept going downhill from there
I’m surprised he isn’t also demanding expensive gifts
Sooooooooo glad he brought up his daughter with water, because it's 100% true and matches the scenario really well
OP in story 2 is in the right and he has the right to leave a wedding where the couple is so disrespectful to his wife.
OP was perfectly justified in dropping out of the wedding party for such AHs.
@@peterhobson3262 op sounds like a great husband! hopefully he and his wife is doing alright now
It makes me so mad that his parents defended the crappy brother instead of standing up for OP’s wife too! She’s also part of their family. There’s no way my parents would let that crap fly if one of my siblings pulled that crap on the other
Absolutely.
I can't believe they had the audacity to insult OP's wife, and then told OP to get over his ego. I don't know if I have to be a genius, or incredibly dumb to understand that logic.
@@TipTheScales27 kinda seems like they've always been embarrassed, but never said anything before, until the opportunity of being a dick for a day came up.
"I'm getting married, so eff all of you. You're beneath me." I wish there was an emoji of a woman with such a smug, sour face it looks like her neck is swallowing her chin, because that would be the bride.
4th story: OP attempts to violate clearly communicated boundaries. Yeah, so not trustworthy. His ex girlfriend is right in what she called him.
Story 1: If your dog is escaping every week, you probably should be asking yourself if YOU are the one doing something wrong.
Maybe make an unclimbable fence? Use a leash? Train the dog to stop climbing the snuffing fence?
Hell, giving him more exercise would probably also help, dogs a heeler mix. Those breeds are very high drive cattle dogs of course its gonna escape every chance it gets.
Boooo op for making your inability to control your dog your pregnant fiancé's problem. Jfc every week? That's insane, fiancé has far more patience than I do.
God, with these kinds of dogs the only option is training. If it can climb a fence, it can break a leash. Before we had the whole house walled up, mine was kept with a 5 meter chain leash. And not those cheap chains either, ones that were as thick as my fingers.
He broke it, we tied him up. He broke it, we tied him up. In less than two years, all that was left was about half a meter long.
@@Metal_Mouth Or people can just stop bringing large breeds and working dog breeds into cities and putting them out in these postage stamps they call "yards" in the city. Large dogs belong on farms. The biggest thing that city people should be allowed to have as a pet is like a Shih Tzu or a Miniature Schnauzer.
@@agentzapdos4960 Yep. I couldn't tell how large op's yard is from the post so I didn't want to make a statement on it, but the dog climbing that high and over spinners is already telling me all that I need to know in terms of it's energy level.
@@Metal_Mouth like seriously. when i first got my dog he escaped like 4 times in the first month and i felt like such a shit dog owner. OP is like, the worst and has no self reflection skills at all. i feel really bad for his fiancé, the poor woman.
The finger lickin girlfriend reminds me of a story not so long ago where the gf would take small bites out of every piece of food in the house (and defend herself by calling it "quirky and cute". The consensus there was that it was all totally a power move on her part, and I think the same thing applies here. Fingers knows exactly what she's doing; she's laying claim.
the man in the second story was correct in what he did. i am disabled I know if anyone tried to treat me like that my husband would tell them whats what and leave with me. good for you man standing up for your wife
I'm on the Autism spectrum and hate it when people treat me like a baby or a child. People with disabilities deserve to be treated with respect and not talked down to.
@@Yumi_Jay agreed!! getting talked down to or getting baby talked to is the worst i pray it ends.
I have disabilities too and none of my family or friends would expect me to sit at the kids' table or at another locations with a babysitter. That's so degrading and disrespectful. Since the couple is getting married, in their vows, they most likely have the line "For sickness and in health. and For better and worse". With saying these vows, they expect OP to ditch his wife while she's technically in the "sickness" and it could be the "worse" part of their marriage? OP is a wonderful man, supports his wife and obviously loves her very much.
1st story: my family had a dachshund who always escaped. The neighbors knew who he was. We always boarded up the fences tried putting big rocks and bricks to block and even head butt the fence. It got to a point we had to watch him and took turns because no matter what we did he would get out some how. As a dog owner ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY DOGS ARE LIKE BABIES!!!
First story: OP, has it ever occurred to you that the dog might be running away on account of you?
He plays fetch, but doesn't seem to actually train his dog.
Both breeds are highly intelligent, and starts mischifs if they are bored.
I had a dog that was a major escape artist. She chewed through a fence the one time I left her outside unattended. I couldn’t take her anywhere without a harness. I couldn’t open the front door without a gate. If we went to someone’s house the dog was always in a leash. It would have been super easy for the OP to put a zip line for a dog leash in the backyard to stop it escaping but it’s easier to just go chasing after it I guess.
Dogs just love running loose because they never get to.
On the last story; A friend of mine who passed away recently was a romance novelist who wrote under a pen name. She never told ANYONE her pen name - not even her husband and they were married for decades! She passed away and he still doesn’t know what it was. He respected her choice! Was he curious? Absolutely, but he never demanded that she reveal her pen name because he loved, respected and trusted her.
The last story to me seemed even worse cause he seemed to be trying to guilt trip her by saying she doesn’t trust him. Being annoyed that his tactic didn’t work, then proceeding to invade her privacy, very ugly of him
She doesn't trust him. It's bullshit AITA is so full of men bad women good shit. It's so fucking annoying how much everyone hates men on there.
But she doesn't trust him, and she is RIGHT : if he is watching her computer behind her back when she told him not to, it means he will tell somebody even if she asked him not to. Let alone if they split up. This guy is a liability !
@A.T.O.M Workshop
Nope, she doesn't trust him. You need to have trust in a relationship, or it's not going to work. I don't see the point, if she claims she loves him, which of you're dating, you do, there should be no harm, but in her heart, she didn't love him. He felt the need to snoop because he needed to. It's more of a "if she's so afraid of people finding out what she's writing, then it has to be bad enough for her to not have pride in her work and would want to hide it..." So I'd think, most likely r4p3 smut or pedo shit, and if she's writing that kind of crap i wouldn't want to be with her.
@@ryancarter8134Or they have only been together 6 months and she not ready to trust him with this yet and he didn't need to snoop because he never said its not something I'm OK with (which it's just erotic novels anyway) but he needs to have full access rather than just read a sample and used multiple manipulation techniques to do so, major red flag territory.
@@ryancarter8134Also your logic of well if you got nothing to hide then I should be able to see is the same logic abusers use when wanting to check their phone and every location, no its simply that people should have to appease peoples paranoia and controlling behavior.
I’m listening to these stories today and when RSlash said my daughter is 2 I just thought to myself is omg I remember the first videos where he announced his daughter just being born and it’s already been 2 damn years. Thank you for keeping me captivated for so long
Oh my gosh!!! how has 2 years passed so quickly??!! and yes your absolutely right in not leaving the bathroom when there is water in the tub. Your an awesome dad!
Ikr, I swear she was just born, shits crazy
I guess time does fly
I'm a nanny and that was in our nanny training that you must be with the child until the tub is drained completely
I don’t like leaving a toddler in the bathroom alone is a good idea at all lol. My aunt told me this story about my cousin when he was around 2/3. She had left him in the bathroom to go try and find his brush and when she got back he had completely covered himself in baby powder from head to toe. She said that she learned a lesson after that. Whenever I see my cousin for the holidays he is referred to as Powdered Doughnut.
@@analyticalchick3064 When I was a teenager, I took a babysitting course which also included basic first aid that was provided by the American Red Cross. One of the topics covered was that children must never be unattended when there is water in the tub, all types of pools or other container that they could get into.
Dog story: My brother had a dog that did similar things. He built a bigger fence (the largest allowed by the city bylaws) and built it "backwards" so there wouldn't be any slats or anything to use to climb up. The first time the dog was allowed outside after the fence was built it was less than 5 minutes before she hopped the fence. He eventually realized he wasn't able to properly take care of her where she lived so he gave her to a buddy who lived on a farm and had much more space and the ability to keep her contained (no, this wasn't the "sent her to a farm upstate" thing. He went to visit a bunch and I went with him a few of the times).
Story 1: this could have been avoided if OP just... y'know... trained his dog to not scale 8ft fences to escape? Dogs are smart and if trained right they will know that behaviour means punishment. YTA.
Story 2: good on OP for standing up to defend his wife. The brother and his wife were disrespecting his wife and I'm glad OP didn't yield. NTA.
Story 3: What is the girlfriend doing?? Super gross of her to dip her (presumably) unwashed hands in the custard and lick it... its also a health and safety violation so I would have reacted the same way OP did. NTA.
Story 4: OP is trampling on his girlfriend's boundaries - if she wanted to tell OP, she would do it once she felt comfortable. What OP did was a guarantee that the girlfriend will never reveal her work to him. YTA.
To be fair punishment for climbing shouldn't be the default. Dogs will often learn better if they get praise for staying in the yard in this case (or so I've heard)
@@thegamingsnorlax196 it's really telling that story 1 OP didn't train his dog to stay in the backyard because how else would you explain the dog just scaling a fence taller than itself to escape?
@@yabe-kfptentacultist oh I 100% agree training is necessary and the OP likely hasn't attempted even basic recall training. Was only pointing out that punishment isn't the best method for anything usually
Story 1: Yooo, you're right. He should totally punish the dog for doing dog things. Maybe like get a shock collar and when it escapes turn it up to 10 and blast the shit out of him right? >.>
dogs are so smart. if i make a specific sound all our dogs know it means "stop that!" because they are that smart. its not hard to train out bad behavior in dogs, OP is just a bad dog owner
Story 1) If your dog (who somehow manages to scale an 8 foot fence while barely standing a foot and a half off the ground if they have the infamous small boi Corgi legs) is getting out that much, then it sounds like you need to put up a yard leash. My grandpa had one for his Dalmatian, Spartacus, so the dog could run from one end of the yard to the other freely, but couldn't escape. Because at this point, it almost seems like you're hoping your dog escapes since you KNOW they can get out and you don't have them on a restrictive leash to keep them in the yard. It's not your wife's problem that your dog keeps getting out since you are basically letting them out yourself. YTA.
Story 2) She ruined her own big day, not the other way around. You weren't going to stand by and let your brother and his fiance disrespect your wife and I'm ashamed of your parents for enabling such shitty behavior. Your parents are bad parents, end of discussion, because good parents would have seen this for what it was and told them off at the very least. NTA.
Story 3) Dump your girlfriend, not only is she stepping all over your boundaries and blatantly disregarding what you ask of her, but she's not afraid to gaslight you to make you feel like the bad guy. This chick is bad news all around, get rid of her. NTA.
Story 4) "My gf is being a huge asshole by not telling me who she is incognito so I can stalk what she rights to determine whether or not she's cheating on me! Then she gets mad and won't trust me despite the fact I tried to invade her privacy for my own gain by snooping around her personal belongings! As her bf, it is my RIGHT to know exactly what she writes because it makes all the difference in the relationship!"
Wtf is op's problem?? Put an electric fence or a lead in the backyard so that the dang dog can't escape.
And he said this happens almost all the time meaning he hasn’t done anything to prevent this from happening
On the last story, OP keeps pestering his gf for not telling him his penname, but as soon as things dont go his way, suddenly he tells his sister everything for another opinion... I wouldnt trust him w that kind of info either
As an author who has written spicy content he deserves 3.5 even my wife doesn’t know my pen name though she dose read some of my stories
What is OPs true reason for knowing? Is he wanting to use this to find her net worth? Bragging rights? Regardless not his business and at this point it will hopefully will never be
@@lorilancaster5917 some guys feel the need to control all sex related things involving their girlfriends/wives? idk, i just know that i've heard way too many stories about guys freaking out when it comes to their female partners when it comes to sex things.
@@abiean222 This is true! Also some guys do not want their gf or wife to have multiple sex partners before them but it wouldn't apply to themselves. They are the type of people who thinks women are sluts if they have a sexual history but it's acceptable for men to have a past.
"My girlfriend doesn't trust me, so i'm going to break in her computer while she sleeps"
I WONDER WHY SHE DOESN'T TRUST YOU.
“Can you please use a spoon?”
“No, I’d rather act like a 3 year old (LITERALLY).”
THIS is why I don't tell those I date that I'm a writer due to THIS reason. As Writers we have a right to privacy and don't have to reveal our pen names. We HAVE THEM FOR A REASON. Privacy! I've broken up with my far share due to their "demands". OP gets 4/5 BG!
Finished my sanitation class for my pastry arts degree last week, the girlfriend could’ve easily killed someone with the contamination with any potential allergens but also food borne illness. Food born pathogens are no joke.
3rd story: I or my husband cook for friends on a weekly basis. This isn't for professional reasons, this is just our friends coming over to game and we feed them since we always host. If we need to taste something we always use a spoon. Diseases are a thing.
And yes, allergens can transfer. That is why it is a big deal when you tell a restaurant you have a food allergy. They have to clean the entire area to make sure there is nothing there. They have to scrub their hands well and,of course, use brand new gloves.
My friend's daughter had severe food allergies when she was very little, including tree nuts. My friend licked her finger to clean a bit of chocolate off her daughter's face and the little girl's face started to swell. She'd forgotten that two hours early she had eaten a handful of cashews. Epi pen and trip to the hospital later she was just fine, but shows how easy allergens transfer.
Last story ‘You don’t trust me?’
Girlfriend changed laptop password.
‘What!?!?!?’
Yeah, because you can’t be trusted.
Story 2: Dont you always love it when people who dont know shit say "its for the best" pretending its for that person, when its actually for themselves? So sorry for OP, couldnt imagine doing that to my brother or him doing that to me, its a "i have no brother" point.
Last story: why doesn’t my girlfriend trust me when I googled her name, accused and demanded information, and tried to break into her laptop?!?!
He 100% thinks writing erotica is cheating or criticism on his performance in bed; it’s just the only part of his shit show he was smart enough to leave out.
@@gaxalee7392 Idk, lol. It seems pretty obvious but the way he wrote that he is _deeply_ insecure about potentially being compared to fictional characters.
Yeah, and my response to "you don't trust me" would be "I trust my parents, but I'm not going to give them my pen name either."
Growing up my family had a miniature dachshund which are about the same size as a Corgi. We put him on a leash in the backyard, that has attached to the deck so we didn't have to stay outside with him. He watched him through the sliding glass door and left him to do his business for a couple moments and let him back in. You would think after a couple times of the dog getting out that we would invest in a good outdoor leash.
That spitting sound effect was too realistic because it made me feel sick. I can't handle it
"Everyone is on my side except my sister."
If that's true, then OP needs more people to knock sense into him.
First Story: I would have said its time for a tracking colar, but agree with rSlash a leash would be affective too :D. Also the dog owner is th ah.
I have a dog run at my house that allows my kid's dog to run almost the full area of the yard. It consists of clothesline wire between 2 points that has a bearing with a clip riding on it attached to another length of wire going down off of the first one with a leash clip attached. It was easy peasy & the dog loves it. The best part is after it was installed there has been zero escapes.
It only took once for us to find a different solution. This guy is a moron & inconsiderate af.
I raised my GSD to think fences were magical barriers. Physically, he could get out, he just believes he can’t.
Story 3: OP's girlfriend needs to grow up and stop being a pouting brat 😒 Seriously, she can't keep her hands out of the cookie jar? What is she, four?
The wedding story, last night my husband and I went to a wedding. I was in my wheelchair. You know what everyone's response was; they moved out of my way when I asked, helped me through doors that had a high threshold, made sure I could reach the food at the reception, people even moved chairs so I could sit at the table or be in line with the rows for the ceremony. One of the people who worked for the Temple even apologised that the building wasn't super accessable, which I'd not agree with. My only issue was the high thresholds. The doors I could get still. What do you know? It's not hard to just let disabled people be.
*First OP:* I think it's safe to assume the engagement/relationship is over. There's no way to come back from that, no matter how stressed OP is. OP is TA. Also, why did his sister call OP's dog a mutt? :/
*Second OP:* I'm speechless. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* What is it with guys yelling at their girlfriends/fiancees?! OP is T- wait, she dipped her fingers in the jar? OP is NTA.
WTF, rSlash?! LMAO
*Fourth OP:* I like how OP accused his girlfriend of not trusting him while he tried to snoop on her laptop. Looks like this OP can join the First OP in the Idiot Partners Club. OP is TA.
The last story - Girl you need to run away from that one... FAST!
A overhang on the inside that sits about a foot inside around the entire fence would stop it from climbing out.
First story - Here's a novel idea; carry your phone with you. Yes, OP, you are in the wrong.
story 2 100% NTA if someone compares my wife to a child because she has brain damage I'm out too no matter how close it's to the wedding
Everybody’s just reaming story 1’s OP ( which they should) and here I am just impressed with the dog climbing up a fence almost as tall as Sultan Kosen. Props to you, doggo.