How is the Dad so cool with taking the mom back after the amount of betrayal and hurt she put him through? Did she just say “sorry” and everything’s cool, so everything should be rug swept? Does this guy even have a backbone?
No backbone in evidence. It's Dad's choice if he wants the bish back, but it's OP's choice if he wants to stay no contact with her with all it entails for awkwardness for the again happy couple. And if Mom breaks Dad's heart again, just recommend a good therapist to him. OP is no longer the confident for his dad's relationship.
Story 1: NTA. She’s delusional if she thinks she’s going to con you again after being caught. I’d demand she pay you back just for lying to you and insist her Husband not pay for a dime of it.
The fact she wanted a dog well not helping her husband pay bills or her own daughter's contacts just says I'm a stupid selfish spoiled ah. The hell does she think that op is going to trust her so fast after her kindness was betrayed. Op should only trust the bil with anything to do in money for the kids because he can't even trust his wife.
If my spouse pulled that stunt for an animal I think it would be divorce Worthy. Not only did they shop not adopt. They lied about something that their daughter probably wants and was probably a different argument all on its own. They also lied about where the dang dog came from. I bet that $700 could have been put towards something for the entire household that actually benefited them instead of hindered them as a drooling chewing mess.
There shouldn’t even be a choice between OP and his mother. She screwed up, she broke the family and she tried to ruin him. OP saw right through his mother even at such a young age, supported his dad no matter what and is still trying to have a relationship despite not agreeing with his choice. At the end of the day, OP chose who he supported years ago and stuck by that decision. He’s proven himself a stronger man than his father by far. His mother, I have no words for. His father’s a weak man who is bending backwards to try and keep his cheating ex wife with him and his mother’s a woman willing to shamelessly crawl back to her ex to try and get in her son’s wedding. OP’s well shot of the both of them.
Don't confuse strong with spiteful. The primary injured party is his father. If his father decides to reunite that is his choice to make. OP has no further cause to be angry other than that he has had some of his illusions shattered.
@@Snipergoat1 a child in a broken marriage is the victim too. More innocent than the dad too up to a point Plus he had to deal with the broken man as a teen and rebuild it. The father is a wimp
Story 2: NTA. Your Mom has screwed over and emotionally damaged him already. You have always been on his side. I know feelings can’t be turned on and off but I don’t even feel like this is a choice. If it distresses your Son THIS badly then you need to accept that it better to just move on.
I assume you are addressing the father in that last sentence. No, the son was not the primary injured person. That was the father. If the father decides to get back with the mother, the sons personal discomfort is not sufficient. He is an asshole for insisting and once again it shows why you should always have a spare kid. One may turn out to be an asshole.
Dad can get back with mom. That's his right. But he also needs to suffer the consequences of his actions, and the consequences have been made pretty clear by OP.
And what a coincidence that they got back together after op got engaged and getting married where the mom wasn’t wanted. The dad found out op didn’t tell the mom and wasn’t gunna invite her and his reaction was to run and tell her, maybe he thought he could use this to get her back because she wants to be in op’s life and their wedding is a huge thing. Seeing how the dad was invited and was the one telling her, being a shoulder to cry on as a angle to get her back. And she got back with the husband after all she did, I mean when she was caught cheating she wasn’t ashamed, guilty, sorry or anything towards op’s father but acted cold like well now I don’t have to hide my bf or act like I still love u. She was cold and got nasty during the divorce as if it was the dad who cheated. Naw I bet the dad is trying to use op and their wedding to get the exwife back and the ex wife is using the dad to get back into op’s life and their wedding, and access to any future grandkids. I could see that if op long ago had let the mom be a part of their life again where they would’ve told and invited her to their wedding then the parents wouldn’t be dating. The dad is probably upset with op on the whole making him chose between his exwife or him because the only reason she went back to the father was to be apart of op’s wedding and life. And so if she doesn’t get that well she’s not gunna stay with op’s dad. Op isn’t even making the dad chose, he’s still invited to the wedding and can see any future grandkids, it’s just the mom who never can so yeah she’s not getting her part of the deal on getting back with op’s dad. Hell I wonder if the dad called her up and used op, telling her that if they got back together then op would let them come to the wedding and be apart of their life again
If the OP in the first story feels compelled to pay for contacts, find out where her niece needs to go to get contacts and pay for it herself. This will stop the sister from getting the money directly. I've heard stories similar to this where the person was swindled of their money but still wants to help, finds alternate ways so they pay directly to wherever the money is supposed to go, rather then to a family member. This stops the money from suddenly going to places other then its original purpose.
It boggles the mind of how the Dad is so cool taking the Mom back after the hurt and betrayal she put him through? So did she just say “sorry” and everything just got rug swept? Or did this guy lose his spine long ago? What’s the way the dad is he’s acting like it’s a innocent mistake, but cheating on your partner is not an innocent mistake, it’s a choice she made.
MOTHER is ONLY GETTING BACK 2 TAKE HIM 4 ALL OF HIS MONEY , WHILE CHEATING ON & USING DAD MONEY 2 PAY MEN 2 HAVE SEX WITH HER. SHE ABSOLUTELY HAS 2 PAY A MAN 2 BE WITH HER . ON YOUR FATHERS DIME. DAD IS HAPPY 2 BE CHEATED ON , OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. PROBABLY NOT EVEN GETTING SEXED UP. WHILE SHE LAUGHING IN HIS FACE
Last story: when OP said she intends to remain childless I knew what was up. The cousin and her mother want OP to spend the money she is saving by being childless on the cousin's child. They'll be wanting money for gifts, cars, college fund, etc. Saying she should be an honorary aunt was the real clue. Get used to saying No, OP. You'll be saying it a lot.
As a childless man, oldest of 3 guys, and with over 50+cousins, i always send the same gifts no matter the kid. A Hot Wheels car, pack of glow in the dark balloons, small pack of dog treats, long work socks, and $20, no matter the kid, no matter the age, no matter the gender, it's the perfect gift. If they visit me, i just teach them how to cook something different, construction tips, dog training, and how to increase the range and severity of their insults in English and Spanish with and without swear words
Op2 the audacity of betraying dad and still sharing his property. Op good on you for sticking up for dad. I totally agree she destroyed the family she's selfish.
Story 3: NTA. Ya I’m sure the women were just swarming him. Funny how the excuse makes ExHusband look really good huh? The one thing I will say is you may have driven her to him.
Asking for permission to get engaged story: after that drama everyone started over nothing, I would have went out of my way to make sure they all knew that I DO NOT agree to this marriage, but I’m petty like that.
Yeah, OP should say: "Bring the guy to me for a week or two, so I can put him through the wrangler and make him see how unworthy he is of my beloved sister...!"
Story 2- have been there with a friend who got cheated on and dumped. Virtually gave up best part of a year to help them get back on their feet. All the time he shit talked her and how she emotionally damaged him etc. Then he got back with her. Felt like he listened to nothing, learned nothing and went back because it was easier than working from scratch and being alone. OP is NTA. He got used by dad. I think that betrayal is worse than his mother's.
It sucks so much to work so hard to help someone, only for them to flush it all down the toilet. Sorry you went through that. I swear, trying to get a loved one to leave their toxic partner is as hard as trying to keep an addict away from drugs.
You are assuming that you are in the right and that you had something to teach him from your chair on high. Accept that cannot make someone else choices for them and you do not necessarily know what is best for them. That is a level of wisdom few redditors can manage. OP is an angry fool who thinks he has some say in who his father sees. He does not and his attempts at coercion make him an asshole. Think of it like this he has prbably lost one parent. If he loses the other one what would he have gone through all that for?
@@Snipergoat1 problem here is that it should never have been on OP to build his dad up. You should never use your kid as a crutch to build yourself up from your relationship failure.
Story1: Gigantic NTA, this is even a question? Sister scammed OP out of the money. Now she has the nerve to ask for more money to fix her own mess? LOL I don't think so! She's now pitching a fit because she might face actual consequences. I'm glad her husband is mad at her. He should be wondering what else she has lied about?
Story 4: NTA. He wanted your permission because your the eldest living Man (AKA the Man of the proverbial house). It’s still a crap reason to get angry though.
story 4. The couple might have talked about 'getting engaged', and the woman said her bf must ask permission from the 'man of the house' aka nearest male relative. Yes, it is ridiculous, but so is the idea that the bride should be 'given away,' by a male. This stems from the days when women were property to be handed from the previous owner (aka Father, or Guardian) to the new owner (aka Husband.) IMO it's bad enough if the PO is an elder from the bride's family. But I have known brides to be given away by a teenage son who was too young the register - and even by a FOUR YEAR OLD grandson ! For crying out loud - why not have him as a pageboy or ring bearer! If I was OP, I would have probably laughed, or asked the man about his prospects and intentions.
Last Story: "Family does for family" to me means, bro is in the hospital you babysit his kids so SIL can be with him. Or his car broke down and you lend him some money to pay for repairs. I send pastries to my nephew and niece now and then. They have their lives and I am busy but I want them to know I care, and they love them! "Family does for family" means help in emergencies and some gesture. It does NOT mean to sacrifice yourself to please a fancy of a near stranger.
sounds more like 'i am trying to secure more gifts and possible future financial help for my daughter that you rarely speak' how much has aunt kay spend on op on her birthday and other things?
My husband asked my mom, aunt, grandma, told my cousin and brother, then met and asked my dad to marry me. Everybody knew before I did! OP is NTA and it sounds more like his sister was mad, not her husband.
Last story. Don't go. My mother was like the aunt. Always wanting to know when my vacation was "so we could do things together." We live in different states, so it was always me having to travel to her. It got to the point that I was so stressed between work and her that I was using any vacation time earned in place of sick leave.
Getting goddamn blinded by the 2nd OP's incredibly shiny spine. The "take no prisoners" mentality they've got is fan-fucking-tastic. I aspire to have that much confidence and self-respect for myself someday.
Final Story: NTA. This isn’t for you at the very least, your not missing out on a valuable experience, your refusing to put her first. Family doesn’t pressure family into expending resources to amuse other family.
They really cost that much here in Europe as well. Yes, if I have an accident and have to be rushed to hospital, I won't get those ridiculous bills like Americans do, but contacts? Hah! I was legally blind without my quarter inch thick glasses, couldn't get contacts for years because they were simply not made in my 'size', and when I finally could be fitted with a pair and asked my insurance to pay for them, they declared them 'cosmetic' and so i had to pay for them myself.
In my experience, contacts run in the neighborhood of $60-100 for a box of six. Four boxes cover both eyes for twelve months. However, typically the equipment allowance for glasses will cover part of the cost. Eight boxes (for two years) might be as much as $800, minus the frame allowance (say $120), which would be a total of $680.
Baby shower, NTA. Hell, my niece had a baby shower in Florida. Most of the family is in Arizona. She didn't expect us to fly out for her shower, though we did chip in for a registry gift to be sent to her.
OP was completely willing to pay for the contacts, THE FIRST TIME! It's sisters fault she used the money for something else. Maybe she should try paying OP back before worrying about borrowing money.
Story 2: Mom could be a narcissist and successfully hoovered dad. This won’t last because narcs can’t change. Educate dad about narcissism - maybe then dad identifies the red flags..
Rule #1 of family and money: never loan money to family, either gift it if you can afford or don't give it to them, it's not worth the cost. #2 is almost as important: emergency or dire need money should be sent directly to service provider after you contact them.
The tradition of asking the man (who owned the women folk) for permission dates back to the days of men buying their brides in ancient Greece. It's old and archaic. He should have jokingly asked for 5 goats. NTA
OP’s sister got off very light in the comments. Not only did she scam OP, she lied to her husband, put her want of getting a dog over her daughter’s medical needs, jeopardized her family’s finances through the dog’s costs, had her daughter lie to OP and then had balls to beg OP for more money. I’m also pretty sure she unilaterally decided to get the dog without her husband’s input. With all that I’m surprised the judgements were so mild.
OP NTA. It is hard to give your blessings when you know nothing of the guy and he has made no effort besides this. If he really wanted to get someones blessing it would have been better to ask the people you suggested who knew him. But parts of me wonder if he didnt ask them because they couldnt keep the secret to themselves and would tell before it actually happened.
I HATE the way OP and the most commenters are phrasing the husband/cousin story. How degrading and embarrassing that your husband did that to you. How degrading and embarrassing that you’re confronting your cousin instead of your husband. How degrading and embarrassing the commenter said “your cousin will sleep with your husband”-um, unless the police need to be called for something non consensual, let me phrase it properly. Your HUSBAND will sleep with your cousin. Unless something forcible is happening, the issue here is with the HUSBAND. Women devalue and embarrass themselves sooooo much. I can’t IMAGINE being in a monogamous relationship or marriage with someone that disrespected me and choose to go after the other woman. That’s so sad y’all do better.
op: gives permission but points out his sister is an adult woman who can make her own choices 'females in the family' how dare you not act like your sister is your property and only you can decide whether or not she can get married' lol
@@QuayHollywood yes as well all know in America marriages are determined by the male of the brides family, I’m pretty sure everything the op said about her means that if she didn’t want to merry him she wouldn’t
@@kylesullivan4165 Yet the reaction she and the ladies of their family are giving off isn't one that supports that the sister is a strong independent woman like op boasted and commended her to be and was looking for an excuse to drop him. But this is all speculation and my opinion
The point of being child free is (including others) to save on expenses and to use your finances on yourself. I'm not paying for sm else's kid if I am child free ( maybe if said kid gets hit by a car I will reconsider)
Did bf ask brother precisely because they don’t know each other? If sister is so independently healthy, maybe he’s after her money. Not knowing anything about the situation, brother would be the perfect one to ask.
that first story would be a perfect case taken to Judge Judy. I'd sue her for the $700.00. She asked for the money under false pretenses. No, I'll correct myself there. SHE LIED! She owes you the money and I would be insisting that she find the way to return the $700.00 as quickly as possible or be prepared to see me in small claims court.
Story 1, OP should have asked to get the money back. Also say you will never ever give her money again but she can ask the company to send your an invoice.
Second story you're not in the wrong here something tells me that your mother probably realize she messed up big time in the fact that you are like basically done with her BS for almost a decade tells me that she's going to use your father as a leverage to get back into your life and you know all the manically you don't want to hurt the wedding but I think your father was so devastated with the divorce that I think he sees this as a second opportunity not just to have her back in his life or as a way to have his family back as a whole. You're not in the wrong here but you need to prepare yourself to have more family members calling you criticizing you and basically cutting them out all the way altogether. Your mother's side of the family is angry at you because you're not enabling the BS your mom will do everything in her power to make sure she's back in your life even if it means destroying your father to the point where he commits suicide. You're not in the wrong here but you need to prepare yourself because your father's in a lose-lose situation here. What I mean is if he picks you he's going to lose the love of his life in his eyes still and he's going to possibly even be in the more depressed state than what he truly is. If he picks his wife and she's still not invites the wedding he's going to lose you any children you have and he's going to lose the wife and realize how much of a fool he was for taking her back and it could drive him into a downward spiral even more. You're not in the wrong here but the moment your father told your mother about the engagement was the moment your mother knew that this was her one and only shot to get back into your life. You also need to be very careful when it comes to your fiance because I got the feeling that your mother's going to try to get close to your fiance and try to get her to let you back into her life
My mom gave her nice over $1000 because she said she and her hubby were behind on rent and bills. We went to visit a couple months later, and her nice showed off the new horse and tack that she bought with the money my mom gave her. Needles to say my mom was pissed and chewed her out.
Story #1...the sister has FOREVER!! forfeited getting ANY!! money from her brother for any reason. The sister had better hope 'n pray that she will NEVER!! have a real reason to seek money from her brother in any type of emergency situation, because she'll never receive it!!!!
Story 1: The only viable solution is a cruel one and probably not popular.... SELL THE DOG. If they cant afford it because of the dog and expenses related to the dog then unfortunately its time for the dog to go
I agree. The poor dog would be better off with a family who can afford to care for it properly. I HATE when people spontaneously get a pet they can't care for, because "It's so cuuute!" Bish, it won't be very cute once its ribs are showing because you're starving the poor thing.
When I was a young adult, I went to great lengths to help someone out of a horrible situation, and lost a good deal myself in the process. I sacrificed myself to help someone dear to me, who could've died without my intervention. That person just went back to the people who horribly abused them. To say I felt betrayed is an understatement. I still carry the wounds, twenty years later. I've learned my lesson. I will never ever overstep my own boundaries and risk my own health to help someone. We used to be incredibly close, but I have cut all contact.
Cousin dancing with ex: Get over it, showing your annoyance makes the husband happy. The only reason the cousin is being entertained is to create drama in your family. Show nothing, and talk about it privately and calmly later. Do not feed the troll-husband!
I was wondering about the YTA comment, if that could have been cousin or exhusband saying she "could have started a scene." That is more true of the exhusband or cousin.
@@lyndatuttle I'm not sure if I understand you. I am saying that OP losing their temper at the social gatherings could be the cousin, husband or both trying to get a reaction. I would make them pay in a way that was more subtle/ cold and less shouty/angry.
OP NTA. I actually really glad that your BIL had answered the phone and let you in. I am glad he was there to hear the truth. He and you and daughter have every right to be bad at your sister for lying and basically stealing money that was meant to help OP's neice. Especially when it sounds like the glasses need a replacement or something. A 700 dog was not a need. It also broke OP'S trust in sister. Truly if you still want to help, I would give it to the hub or the business. Because sister cant be trusted. I agree with OP say if she wants to fix the situation sell the dog or get a job..
Story #1 I feel sorry for the neice that wants contacts. Wearing glasses is tough socially at her age.. I would send her Dad anything I wanted to send to her. I would find out if I could send stuff to his office or to the neighbors etc.
I remember a TV show where the Dad in the situation basically tells the young man that if his daughter finds out a man had asked another man for her hand, or any of her other fine parts, horrible complications would ensue. I happen to agree as much now as when I first heard it. If I found out my fiancé had asked anyone's permission but mine to marry me, I would end it right there, as he clearly does not see me as a full and equal grown-ass partner, but as chattel. Welcome to the 21st century.
@@kylesullivan4165 You are right. I also think that women drop hints that a proposal would be welcome, and if they expect their bf to ask permission from someone or get their blessing. 'Giving the bride away', stems from when women were chattels, but nowadays many people just see it as a tradition.
A comedian said, 'My daughter's boyfriend asked for her hand. For ****s sake! He lives with her and she's ******* pregnant! So I said : 'Young man - You've already had the rest of her! Take her hand as well!
Story 1: Sis got a reality check she didn't think she's have to deal with. Sis broke OP's trust with dishonesty and had the audacity to ask for more money so sis can "make it right" by again using someone else's funding? Doesn't look like sis learned any lessons here. This is something sis needs to take responsibility for and work for, herself, instead of relying on others to bail her out when she screws up. OP, hard pass on helping her out. Story 2: Your boundaries are fully understandable. Good on you for putting your foot down on the toxicity and not letting up. Healing happens on your time and on your terms. Probably some truth to the commenter who stated she likely had "no other place to go" likely due to her behavior so she uses the "BeCaUsE FaMiLY" to slither back to dad. Hold strong OP. Story 3: They aren't friends that you KNOW of. With you and hubby being so toxic to each other, I don't think it's a stretch to say neither of you communicated very well. OP seems spiteful in this post. Maybe hubby was suffering and she wouldn't listen to his pleas so he turned to a listening ear. At the end of the day, OP and hubby are separating. He can dance with whoever will dance with him and there's nothing you can do (note that this is two way street and not one that he alone can walk down). Might be tacky that cousin is dancing with him but she did so willingly regardless of his intentions. Story 4: It's the 21st Century now and hopefully most people have, through education and personal advancement, elevated humanity away from these draconic and antiquated practices. Can we allow women to finally govern their own happiness without being obligated to gain permission from a male figure? Story 5: What OP does on OP's personal time is OP's business and not to be dictated by aunt karen (left lowercase intentionally). Who thinks it's their place to insult you then, in true karen fashion, tell you what you can and cannot do with your life as though they have sole control over your actions and how you spend your time and money? The supply of karens far exceeds the demand.
1) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. 2) parents need individual counseling. Dad is being used by ex. 3) go no contact Last) send your regrets & a gift certificate. No explanation needed.
"did you have to say something at someone else's wedding" some commenters are so god damn silly, I swear, like op didn't even bring it up the cousin did by trying to defend herself.......
The OP whose parents divorced after Mom cheated. The comment that his dad is distraught that he has to choose between his son and his wife-I wonder if this means he’s actually remarried her already. I get that this woman hurt OP too, but now he’s spiting her at the expense of his relationship with his dad, who he supposedly loves, and a bunch of other family members he seems to have had ongoing relationships with. When there’s an affair, there’s usually trouble in the marriage to begin with-the way she handled that trouble was unacceptable, and he was hurt and has a right to be angry. I just hope he’d take a step back and examine his feelings at this point. Is he so angry with her that he’s willing to hurt his father and go low/no contact with him? Or does he value his relationship with his dad enough to accept his choice. He can still set boundaries with his mother-she’s tolerated for the sake of his dad but that doesn’t give her “family” status. Seems to me OP might do well to get some therapy to work through his anger because when you’re carrying around that much rage it tends to bleed into your other relationships-as it already has in this case.
I had a visit that ran 875$ before insurance due to a genetic disorder, and the lenses were 1500$ a year (God bless US healthcare). So, yeah, it's a thing, but I'm still on OP's side.
1) NTA I wouldn’t have given the money anyway. Contacts are NOT needed really it’s just a personal issue. She needs to replace ur money and give the dog back
It’s good to ensure the bride‘s family‘s blessing before the proposal. It’s all very well to use 19th century terminology, (especially if the family is conservative) and formulate that request as if the father was the only one to decide and had an actual say in wether the wedding takes place or not. But the weirdest part is that the did propose without OP‘s permission. Did he or didn’t he need anyone‘s permission???
As someone who has contacts, asking for 700 bucks should have been A red flag. Sure i have eye insurance now, but never in my life have i ever paid anything close to that. However, the sister needs a good slap. They are struggling for money so what she do? Get a dog... Op is Nta
Baby shower - From what I understand about the USA, workers get less vacation than practically anywhere else in the world - so the time should be very precious to the individual. It is not anyone else's business if you want to spend it by going somewhere - staying at home to give time to your hobbies or loafing around! Baby showers are all about 'bring a present.' If I was OP, and a family member was trying to coerce me, I'd say - 'I had thought of sending a present - but as you're trying to demand I come - I don't see why I should.' (I'd confer with mu mom whether we should send a present.)
When she said I'm an idiot for not paying for the contacts. I would say I paid for the contacts you just didn't use it for that. This is on you you completely screwed up. You lied and deceived me. Then you cheated your daughter out of having contacts. And you lied to your husband. So please explain to me how any of this is on me. Go get a job
That first one is horrible. She not only stole from OP she stole from her child! Aldo never ever ever get a dog you cant take to the vet with a moments notice. If you are struggeling it is much nicer to re home the dog and will give you a much less stressful life. If she pays back I MIGHT pay dirctly to the eye doctor or MAYBE to the husband if it seems like the sister dont got him around her little finger
3 NTA; OP said she went to go sit with her family and that her cousin was there this had to be either a family wedding or a family friend because I’m not understanding why all of a sudden his family was present at this wedding and the ex-husband was there as well
It’s a bit unfair to say giving a home to a dog “is a waste of money.” I grant that those kind of decisions are usually a family decision and she could have given a great home to a shelter dog for a lot less.
Story 1: Shiny titanium spine on OP. He has zero chills & he is just enforcing boundaries. I love it!
And finace is put on guard of what will happen in case they stray. Brilliant!
How is the Dad so cool with taking the mom back after the amount of betrayal and hurt she put him through? Did she just say “sorry” and everything’s cool, so everything should be rug swept? Does this guy even have a backbone?
No backbone in evidence. It's Dad's choice if he wants the bish back, but it's OP's choice if he wants to stay no contact with her with all it entails for awkwardness for the again happy couple. And if Mom breaks Dad's heart again, just recommend a good therapist to him. OP is no longer the confident for his dad's relationship.
Some people just have no self respect.
He got squirrel in his pants
Story 1: NTA. She’s delusional if she thinks she’s going to con you again after being caught. I’d demand she pay you back just for lying to you and insist her Husband not pay for a dime of it.
I calling it now, OP sister has a divorce headed her way.
The fact she wanted a dog well not helping her husband pay bills or her own daughter's contacts just says I'm a stupid selfish spoiled ah. The hell does she think that op is going to trust her so fast after her kindness was betrayed. Op should only trust the bil with anything to do in money for the kids because he can't even trust his wife.
If my spouse pulled that stunt for an animal I think it would be divorce Worthy. Not only did they shop not adopt. They lied about something that their daughter probably wants and was probably a different argument all on its own. They also lied about where the dang dog came from. I bet that $700 could have been put towards something for the entire household that actually benefited them instead of hindered them as a drooling chewing mess.
@@aftersexhighfives Your description is just picture perfect 😁"drooling chewing mess". I love your name by the way ☺️
You don't get to insist on how someone pays you back, only that it is done.
There shouldn’t even be a choice between OP and his mother. She screwed up, she broke the family and she tried to ruin him. OP saw right through his mother even at such a young age, supported his dad no matter what and is still trying to have a relationship despite not agreeing with his choice. At the end of the day, OP chose who he supported years ago and stuck by that decision. He’s proven himself a stronger man than his father by far. His mother, I have no words for. His father’s a weak man who is bending backwards to try and keep his cheating ex wife with him and his mother’s a woman willing to shamelessly crawl back to her ex to try and get in her son’s wedding. OP’s well shot of the both of them.
Don't confuse strong with spiteful. The primary injured party is his father. If his father decides to reunite that is his choice to make. OP has no further cause to be angry other than that he has had some of his illusions shattered.
@@Snipergoat1 a child in a broken marriage is the victim too. More innocent than the dad too up to a point
Plus he had to deal with the broken man as a teen and rebuild it.
The father is a wimp
I'm sorry OPs dad is a punk b-----
2nd story: kudos to OP for going scorched earth with his family.
Story 2: NTA. Your Mom has screwed over and emotionally damaged him already. You have always been on his side. I know feelings can’t be turned on and off but I don’t even feel like this is a choice. If it distresses your Son THIS badly then you need to accept that it better to just move on.
I assume you are addressing the father in that last sentence. No, the son was not the primary injured person. That was the father. If the father decides to get back with the mother, the sons personal discomfort is not sufficient. He is an asshole for insisting and once again it shows why you should always have a spare kid. One may turn out to be an asshole.
Dad can get back with mom. That's his right. But he also needs to suffer the consequences of his actions, and the consequences have been made pretty clear by OP.
And what a coincidence that they got back together after op got engaged and getting married where the mom wasn’t wanted. The dad found out op didn’t tell the mom and wasn’t gunna invite her and his reaction was to run and tell her, maybe he thought he could use this to get her back because she wants to be in op’s life and their wedding is a huge thing. Seeing how the dad was invited and was the one telling her, being a shoulder to cry on as a angle to get her back.
And she got back with the husband after all she did, I mean when she was caught cheating she wasn’t ashamed, guilty, sorry or anything towards op’s father but acted cold like well now I don’t have to hide my bf or act like I still love u. She was cold and got nasty during the divorce as if it was the dad who cheated.
Naw I bet the dad is trying to use op and their wedding to get the exwife back and the ex wife is using the dad to get back into op’s life and their wedding, and access to any future grandkids. I could see that if op long ago had let the mom be a part of their life again where they would’ve told and invited her to their wedding then the parents wouldn’t be dating. The dad is probably upset with op on the whole making him chose between his exwife or him because the only reason she went back to the father was to be apart of op’s wedding and life. And so if she doesn’t get that well she’s not gunna stay with op’s dad. Op isn’t even making the dad chose, he’s still invited to the wedding and can see any future grandkids, it’s just the mom who never can so yeah she’s not getting her part of the deal on getting back with op’s dad. Hell I wonder if the dad called her up and used op, telling her that if they got back together then op would let them come to the wedding and be apart of their life again
09:27 "Girl, your husband will sleep with your husband, if she hasn't already" 😆😆😆😆😆
That threw me off, too.
I knew I heard that right lol
husbands tend to sleep with/next to themselves often, unfortunately 😔
Op1: you were willing and DID pay for the contacts once already. The AUDACITY!
If the OP in the first story feels compelled to pay for contacts, find out where her niece needs to go to get contacts and pay for it herself. This will stop the sister from getting the money directly. I've heard stories similar to this where the person was swindled of their money but still wants to help, finds alternate ways so they pay directly to wherever the money is supposed to go, rather then to a family member. This stops the money from suddenly going to places other then its original purpose.
9:29 "your husband will sleep with your husband." That was a funny line, even if it is inaccurate.
It's not inaccurate... he, like most of us, sleeps with himself every night.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 I meant that the written text on screen read "your cousin will sleep with your husband".
@@ghyslainabel - I know, but I had my silly little thought and then just couldn't resist.
How can anyone 'not sleep with themself?' You can never get away from yourself! LOL!
And this site owes us an apology for saying contacts were 'medical supplies'!
It boggles the mind of how the Dad is so cool taking the Mom back after the hurt and betrayal she put him through? So did she just say “sorry” and everything just got rug swept? Or did this guy lose his spine long ago? What’s the way the dad is he’s acting like it’s a innocent mistake, but cheating on your partner is not an innocent mistake, it’s a choice she made.
Plus she dated the ‘family friend’, and continued to after op threatened to move out, if she didn’t leave the ‘family friend’. Lol
MOTHER is ONLY GETTING BACK 2 TAKE HIM 4 ALL OF HIS MONEY , WHILE CHEATING ON & USING DAD MONEY 2 PAY MEN 2 HAVE SEX WITH HER. SHE ABSOLUTELY HAS 2 PAY A MAN 2 BE WITH HER . ON YOUR FATHERS DIME. DAD IS HAPPY 2 BE CHEATED ON , OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. PROBABLY NOT EVEN GETTING SEXED UP. WHILE SHE LAUGHING IN HIS FACE
He was probably cheating too you never know
@@angelsweet9611 well... that's a pretty random assumption
Last story: when OP said she intends to remain childless I knew what was up. The cousin and her mother want OP to spend the money she is saving by being childless on the cousin's child. They'll be wanting money for gifts, cars, college fund, etc. Saying she should be an honorary aunt was the real clue. Get used to saying No, OP. You'll be saying it a lot.
As a childless man, oldest of 3 guys, and with over 50+cousins, i always send the same gifts no matter the kid. A Hot Wheels car, pack of glow in the dark balloons, small pack of dog treats, long work socks, and $20, no matter the kid, no matter the age, no matter the gender, it's the perfect gift. If they visit me, i just teach them how to cook something different, construction tips, dog training, and how to increase the range and severity of their insults in English and Spanish with and without swear words
Story 2 ...I LOVE HIM...I need shades that spine is blinding me 😎😎😎😎😎😎
Op2 the audacity of betraying dad and still sharing his property. Op good on you for sticking up for dad. I totally agree she destroyed the family she's selfish.
Story 3: NTA. Ya I’m sure the women were just swarming him. Funny how the excuse makes ExHusband look really good huh? The one thing I will say is you may have driven her to him.
Asking for permission to get engaged story: after that drama everyone started over nothing, I would have went out of my way to make sure they all knew that I DO NOT agree to this marriage, but I’m petty like that.
Yeah, OP should say: "Bring the guy to me for a week or two, so I can put him through the wrangler and make him see how unworthy he is of my beloved sister...!"
Haha
Story 2- have been there with a friend who got cheated on and dumped. Virtually gave up best part of a year to help them get back on their feet. All the time he shit talked her and how she emotionally damaged him etc. Then he got back with her. Felt like he listened to nothing, learned nothing and went back because it was easier than working from scratch and being alone. OP is NTA. He got used by dad. I think that betrayal is worse than his mother's.
It sucks so much to work so hard to help someone, only for them to flush it all down the toilet. Sorry you went through that. I swear, trying to get a loved one to leave their toxic partner is as hard as trying to keep an addict away from drugs.
You are assuming that you are in the right and that you had something to teach him from your chair on high. Accept that cannot make someone else choices for them and you do not necessarily know what is best for them. That is a level of wisdom few redditors can manage. OP is an angry fool who thinks he has some say in who his father sees. He does not and his attempts at coercion make him an asshole. Think of it like this he has prbably lost one parent. If he loses the other one what would he have gone through all that for?
@@Snipergoat1 We get it, you fully condone what the mom did nd HOW DARE OP call her out for it.
@@Snipergoat1 problem here is that it should never have been on OP to build his dad up. You should never use your kid as a crutch to build yourself up from your relationship failure.
@@black1917 this guy is so pro-family, that he'll get mad at you for cutting off your abusive relatives.
Story1: Gigantic NTA, this is even a question? Sister scammed OP out of the money. Now she has the nerve to ask for more money to fix her own mess? LOL I don't think so! She's now pitching a fit because she might face actual consequences. I'm glad her husband is mad at her. He should be wondering what else she has lied about?
Story 4: NTA. He wanted your permission because your the eldest living Man (AKA the Man of the proverbial house). It’s still a crap reason to get angry though.
story 4. The couple might have talked about 'getting engaged', and the woman said her bf must ask permission from the 'man of the house' aka nearest male relative. Yes, it is ridiculous, but so is the idea that the bride should be 'given away,' by a male. This stems from the days when women were property to be handed from the previous owner (aka Father, or Guardian) to the new owner (aka Husband.) IMO it's bad enough if the PO is an elder from the bride's family. But I have known brides to be given away by a teenage son who was too young the register - and even by a FOUR YEAR OLD grandson ! For crying out loud - why not have him as a pageboy or ring bearer! If I was OP, I would have probably laughed, or asked the man about his prospects and intentions.
Last Story: "Family does for family" to me means, bro is in the hospital you babysit his kids so SIL can be with him. Or his car broke down and you lend him some money to pay for repairs. I send pastries to my nephew and niece now and then. They have their lives and I am busy but I want them to know I care, and they love them!
"Family does for family" means help in emergencies and some gesture. It does NOT mean to sacrifice yourself to please a fancy of a near stranger.
sounds more like 'i am trying to secure more gifts and possible future financial help for my daughter that you rarely speak' how much has aunt kay spend on op on her birthday and other things?
My husband asked my mom, aunt, grandma, told my cousin and brother, then met and asked my dad to marry me. Everybody knew before I did! OP is NTA and it sounds more like his sister was mad, not her husband.
Last story. Don't go. My mother was like the aunt. Always wanting to know when my vacation was "so we could do things together." We live in different states, so it was always me having to travel to her. It got to the point that I was so stressed between work and her that I was using any vacation time earned in place of sick leave.
Getting goddamn blinded by the 2nd OP's incredibly shiny spine. The "take no prisoners" mentality they've got is fan-fucking-tastic. I aspire to have that much confidence and self-respect for myself someday.
Final Story: NTA. This isn’t for you at the very least, your not missing out on a valuable experience, your refusing to put her first. Family doesn’t pressure family into expending resources to amuse other family.
Yes, folks, contacts do cost that much (or more) in the US. Hence why OP didn't question it.
They really cost that much here in Europe as well. Yes, if I have an accident and have to be rushed to hospital, I won't get those ridiculous bills like Americans do, but contacts? Hah! I was legally blind without my quarter inch thick glasses, couldn't get contacts for years because they were simply not made in my 'size', and when I finally could be fitted with a pair and asked my insurance to pay for them, they declared them 'cosmetic' and so i had to pay for them myself.
In my experience, contacts run in the neighborhood of $60-100 for a box of six. Four boxes cover both eyes for twelve months. However, typically the equipment allowance for glasses will cover part of the cost. Eight boxes (for two years) might be as much as $800, minus the frame allowance (say $120), which would be a total of $680.
Last story - sounds like aunt is trying to guilt trip OP into giving a more expensive present to the baby, wonder what she is after.
Baby shower, NTA. Hell, my niece had a baby shower in Florida. Most of the family is in Arizona. She didn't expect us to fly out for her shower, though we did chip in for a registry gift to be sent to her.
OP was completely willing to pay for the contacts, THE FIRST TIME! It's sisters fault she used the money for something else. Maybe she should try paying OP back before worrying about borrowing money.
Story 2: Mom could be a narcissist and successfully hoovered dad. This won’t last because narcs can’t change. Educate dad about narcissism - maybe then dad identifies the red flags..
The father needs to grow a backbone and not letting that cheating hussy back in his life
Rule #1 of family and money: never loan money to family, either gift it if you can afford or don't give it to them, it's not worth the cost.
#2 is almost as important: emergency or dire need money should be sent directly to service provider after you contact them.
The tradition of asking the man (who owned the women folk) for permission dates back to the days of men buying their brides in ancient Greece. It's old and archaic. He should have jokingly asked for 5 goats. NTA
OP’s sister got off very light in the comments. Not only did she scam OP, she lied to her husband, put her want of getting a dog over her daughter’s medical needs, jeopardized her family’s finances through the dog’s costs, had her daughter lie to OP and then had balls to beg OP for more money. I’m also pretty sure she unilaterally decided to get the dog without her husband’s input. With all that I’m surprised the judgements were so mild.
She didn't have the daughter lie. Daughter didn't even know about it. It was OP's sister who texted the message to OP.
OP NTA. It is hard to give your blessings when you know nothing of the guy and he has made no effort besides this. If he really wanted to get someones blessing it would have been better to ask the people you suggested who knew him. But parts of me wonder if he didnt ask them because they couldnt keep the secret to themselves and would tell before it actually happened.
I HATE the way OP and the most commenters are phrasing the husband/cousin story.
How degrading and embarrassing that your husband did that to you. How degrading and embarrassing that you’re confronting your cousin instead of your husband. How degrading and embarrassing the commenter said “your cousin will sleep with your husband”-um, unless the police need to be called for something non consensual, let me phrase it properly. Your HUSBAND will sleep with your cousin. Unless something forcible is happening, the issue here is with the HUSBAND.
Women devalue and embarrass themselves sooooo much. I can’t IMAGINE being in a monogamous relationship or marriage with someone that disrespected me and choose to go after the other woman. That’s so sad y’all do better.
Proposal Permission story: OP DID give Permission. Just not in that icky "I own her" way.
op: gives permission but points out his sister is an adult woman who can make her own choices 'females in the family' how dare you not act like your sister is your property and only you can decide whether or not she can get married' lol
Their reaction kind of makes me think they wanted him to say no cause the sister didn't actually want to marry him. Now they're stuck
And not knowing the guy what was he suppose to do ask for a dowery
@@QuayHollywood yes as well all know in America marriages are determined by the male of the brides family, I’m pretty sure everything the op said about her means that if she didn’t want to merry him she wouldn’t
@@kylesullivan4165 Yet the reaction she and the ladies of their family are giving off isn't one that supports that the sister is a strong independent woman like op boasted and commended her to be and was looking for an excuse to drop him. But this is all speculation and my opinion
DAMN ! YOU MUST HAVE BEEN HER. DOORMAT YOUR WHOLE LIFE???
The point of being child free is (including others) to save on expenses and to use your finances on yourself. I'm not paying for sm else's kid if I am child free ( maybe if said kid gets hit by a car I will reconsider)
That is so not what her husband wants. That is going to piss him off more.
Did bf ask brother precisely because they don’t know each other? If sister is so independently healthy, maybe he’s after her money. Not knowing anything about the situation, brother would be the perfect one to ask.
She already paid for the contact lenses, it's on the sister now
@9:27
"Your [husband] is going to sleep with your husband..."
Me: ....wait, what?
The cousin was the husband all along. Dun Dun dunnnnnnn
that first story would be a perfect case taken to Judge Judy. I'd sue her for the $700.00. She asked for the money under false pretenses. No, I'll correct myself there. SHE LIED! She owes you the money and I would be insisting that she find the way to return the $700.00 as quickly as possible or be prepared to see me in small claims court.
I know I scammed you last time but I am really going to use the money for contacts this time lol.
I wouldn't want an adulter at my wedding ither it's a day to celebrate love and commitment something his mother couldn't teach him
Story 1, OP should have asked to get the money back. Also say you will never ever give her money again but she can ask the company to send your an invoice.
That's a good idea!
Second story you're not in the wrong here something tells me that your mother probably realize she messed up big time in the fact that you are like basically done with her BS for almost a decade tells me that she's going to use your father as a leverage to get back into your life and you know all the manically you don't want to hurt the wedding but I think your father was so devastated with the divorce that I think he sees this as a second opportunity not just to have her back in his life or as a way to have his family back as a whole. You're not in the wrong here but you need to prepare yourself to have more family members calling you criticizing you and basically cutting them out all the way altogether. Your mother's side of the family is angry at you because you're not enabling the BS your mom will do everything in her power to make sure she's back in your life even if it means destroying your father to the point where he commits suicide. You're not in the wrong here but you need to prepare yourself because your father's in a lose-lose situation here. What I mean is if he picks you he's going to lose the love of his life in his eyes still and he's going to possibly even be in the more depressed state than what he truly is. If he picks his wife and she's still not invites the wedding he's going to lose you any children you have and he's going to lose the wife and realize how much of a fool he was for taking her back and it could drive him into a downward spiral even more. You're not in the wrong here but the moment your father told your mother about the engagement was the moment your mother knew that this was her one and only shot to get back into your life. You also need to be very careful when it comes to your fiance because I got the feeling that your mother's going to try to get close to your fiance and try to get her to let you back into her life
Estranged mom: NTA. Mom has a blooming cheek, as well as being impudent.
My mom gave her nice over $1000 because she said she and her hubby were behind on rent and bills. We went to visit a couple months later, and her nice showed off the new horse and tack that she bought with the money my mom gave her. Needles to say my mom was pissed and chewed her out.
Story #1...the sister has FOREVER!! forfeited getting ANY!! money from her brother for any reason.
The sister had better hope 'n pray that she will NEVER!! have a real reason to seek money from her brother in any type of emergency situation, because she'll never receive it!!!!
Story 1: The only viable solution is a cruel one and probably not popular.... SELL THE DOG. If they cant afford it because of the dog and expenses related to the dog then unfortunately its time for the dog to go
I agree. The poor dog would be better off with a family who can afford to care for it properly. I HATE when people spontaneously get a pet they can't care for, because "It's so cuuute!" Bish, it won't be very cute once its ribs are showing because you're starving the poor thing.
When I was a young adult, I went to great lengths to help someone out of a horrible situation, and lost a good deal myself in the process. I sacrificed myself to help someone dear to me, who could've died without my intervention. That person just went back to the people who horribly abused them. To say I felt betrayed is an understatement. I still carry the wounds, twenty years later. I've learned my lesson. I will never ever overstep my own boundaries and risk my own health to help someone. We used to be incredibly close, but I have cut all contact.
Cousin dancing with ex: Get over it, showing your annoyance makes the husband happy. The only reason the cousin is being entertained is to create drama in your family. Show nothing, and talk about it privately and calmly later. Do not feed the troll-husband!
I was wondering about the YTA comment, if that could have been cousin or exhusband saying she "could have started a scene." That is more true of the exhusband or cousin.
The Cousin has probably already slept with him and was hoping for another night.
@@lyndatuttle I'm not sure if I understand you. I am saying that OP losing their temper at the social gatherings could be the cousin, husband or both trying to get a reaction. I would make them pay in a way that was more subtle/ cold and less shouty/angry.
OP NTA. I actually really glad that your BIL had answered the phone and let you in. I am glad he was there to hear the truth. He and you and daughter have every right to be bad at your sister for lying and basically stealing money that was meant to help OP's neice. Especially when it sounds like the glasses need a replacement or something. A 700 dog was not a need. It also broke OP'S trust in sister. Truly if you still want to help, I would give it to the hub or the business. Because sister cant be trusted.
I agree with OP say if she wants to fix the situation sell the dog or get a job..
Story 1: A liar and a thief. How precious. And what nerve to ask more m9ney to cover that you STOLE FROM YOUR CHILD.
She Yelled?!? What is wrong with these greedy, manipulative, entitled people
Story #1
I feel sorry for the neice that wants contacts. Wearing glasses is tough socially at her age.. I would send her Dad anything I wanted to send to her. I would find out if I could send stuff to his office or to the neighbors etc.
He clearly knew nothing about what his wife did, as he had no problem about inviting OP into their home.
Babyshower: They can't setup a video call of some sort? Start a Zoom call?
I remember a TV show where the Dad in the situation basically tells the young man that if his daughter finds out a man had asked another man for her hand, or any of her other fine parts, horrible complications would ensue. I happen to agree as much now as when I first heard it. If I found out my fiancé had asked anyone's permission but mine to marry me, I would end it right there, as he clearly does not see me as a full and equal grown-ass partner, but as chattel. Welcome to the 21st century.
You realize most guys don’t care what the father says it’s just expected of them it’s not that they view you as chattel
@@kylesullivan4165 You are right. I also think that women drop hints that a proposal would be welcome, and if they expect their bf to ask permission from someone or get their blessing. 'Giving the bride away', stems from when women were chattels, but nowadays many people just see it as a tradition.
A comedian said, 'My daughter's boyfriend asked for her hand. For ****s sake! He lives with her and she's ******* pregnant! So I said : 'Young man - You've already had the rest of her! Take her hand as well!
@@kylesullivan4165
Right. It's just a courtesy now days nothing more.
@@debbieroberts5866 exactly
Story 1: Sis got a reality check she didn't think she's have to deal with. Sis broke OP's trust with dishonesty and had the audacity to ask for more money so sis can "make it right" by again using someone else's funding? Doesn't look like sis learned any lessons here. This is something sis needs to take responsibility for and work for, herself, instead of relying on others to bail her out when she screws up. OP, hard pass on helping her out.
Story 2: Your boundaries are fully understandable. Good on you for putting your foot down on the toxicity and not letting up. Healing happens on your time and on your terms. Probably some truth to the commenter who stated she likely had "no other place to go" likely due to her behavior so she uses the "BeCaUsE FaMiLY" to slither back to dad. Hold strong OP.
Story 3: They aren't friends that you KNOW of. With you and hubby being so toxic to each other, I don't think it's a stretch to say neither of you communicated very well. OP seems spiteful in this post. Maybe hubby was suffering and she wouldn't listen to his pleas so he turned to a listening ear. At the end of the day, OP and hubby are separating. He can dance with whoever will dance with him and there's nothing you can do (note that this is two way street and not one that he alone can walk down). Might be tacky that cousin is dancing with him but she did so willingly regardless of his intentions.
Story 4: It's the 21st Century now and hopefully most people have, through education and personal advancement, elevated humanity away from these draconic and antiquated practices. Can we allow women to finally govern their own happiness without being obligated to gain permission from a male figure?
Story 5: What OP does on OP's personal time is OP's business and not to be dictated by aunt karen (left lowercase intentionally). Who thinks it's their place to insult you then, in true karen fashion, tell you what you can and cannot do with your life as though they have sole control over your actions and how you spend your time and money? The supply of karens far exceeds the demand.
The sister isn't completely lying. She wants to buy the dog contacts.
Its actually funny the sister would think the same trick would work twice
Last story: if your cousin has a baby you are not the babies aunt, you’re his or hers cousin.
I always find it amusing when someone says "I'm getting married to my beautiful fiancée" - somewhat implies they also have an ugly fiancée!
1) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. 2) parents need individual counseling. Dad is being used by ex. 3) go no contact Last) send your regrets & a gift certificate. No explanation needed.
Story 1: NTA. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I am laughing so hard right now. The husband is sleeping with the husband?
I mean... 🤷🏻♀️
Husband is sleeping with husband i guess
"did you have to say something at someone else's wedding" some commenters are so god damn silly, I swear, like op didn't even bring it up the cousin did by trying to defend herself.......
The OP whose parents divorced after Mom cheated. The comment that his dad is distraught that he has to choose between his son and his wife-I wonder if this means he’s actually remarried her already. I get that this woman hurt OP too, but now he’s spiting her at the expense of his relationship with his dad, who he supposedly loves, and a bunch of other family members he seems to have had ongoing relationships with. When there’s an affair, there’s usually trouble in the marriage to begin with-the way she handled that trouble was unacceptable, and he was hurt and has a right to be angry. I just hope he’d take a step back and examine his feelings at this point. Is he so angry with her that he’s willing to hurt his father and go low/no contact with him? Or does he value his relationship with his dad enough to accept his choice. He can still set boundaries with his mother-she’s tolerated for the sake of his dad but that doesn’t give her “family” status. Seems to me OP might do well to get some therapy to work through his anger because when you’re carrying around that much rage it tends to bleed into your other relationships-as it already has in this case.
Early! Have a wonderful day everyone!
Story One: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes....she should be able to sell her dog.
I know people whose contacts cost 800/year but the appointments are usually only about $100. Wtf
I had a visit that ran 875$ before insurance due to a genetic disorder, and the lenses were 1500$ a year (God bless US healthcare). So, yeah, it's a thing, but I'm still on OP's side.
1) NTA I wouldn’t have given the money anyway. Contacts are NOT needed really it’s just a personal issue. She needs to replace ur money and give the dog back
I wear glasses, I only use contacts when I wear costumes for a ren fair or when I go larping because i don't wanna risk my glasses getting knocked off
It’s good to ensure the bride‘s family‘s blessing before the proposal. It’s all very well to use 19th century terminology, (especially if the family is conservative) and formulate that request as if the father was the only one to decide and had an actual say in wether the wedding takes place or not.
But the weirdest part is that the did propose without OP‘s permission. Did he or didn’t he need anyone‘s permission???
story 2: I realize we are just getting one side of tge story, but if that side is true? Op's mom sounds like a vile woman.
--- She can spend 2-3 afternoons waitressing to buy contacts.
As someone who has contacts, asking for 700 bucks should have been A red flag. Sure i have eye insurance now, but never in my life have i ever paid anything close to that.
However, the sister needs a good slap. They are struggling for money so what she do? Get a dog...
Op is Nta
You did pay for the contacts!
She neglected her child for a pet she can't afford.
Tell Kay to pay for your vacation since you're family
Hi from Sacramento!
Hi from Anaheim!!
Hi from Inyokern!
(And all the people said, "Where?")
@@kemarisite Just a guess before I look it up: on the border of Into and Kern counties?
@@sherylcascadden4988 I know, the name kind of gives it away.
@@kemarisite It sounded familiar, I was through there 40 years ago on the way to Death Valley. As soon as I saw the name Indian Wells I remembered.
Wedding permission: A weird sexist throwback. NTA.
Of course he HAS to be a misogynist! 😒
9:27 girl, your husband will sleep with your husband... being so verdictive you invent cloning technology just to make a point LUL
He's a ex husband
@@bork116 i know. i was just repeating how it was worded
Not your kid, not your problem.
Id tell her i already paid for the contacts and you will not be paying again
Baby shower - From what I understand about the USA, workers get less vacation than practically anywhere else in the world - so the time should be very precious to the individual. It is not anyone else's business if you want to spend it by going somewhere - staying at home to give time to your hobbies or loafing around! Baby showers are all about 'bring a present.' If I was OP, and a family member was trying to coerce me, I'd say - 'I had thought of sending a present - but as you're trying to demand I come - I don't see why I should.' (I'd confer with mu mom whether we should send a present.)
Last Story: Everytime the narrator said "Kay asked" I kept thinking he was saying chaos. Which is what she apparently brings to the table.
$700 is a lot for contacts unless she needs some special type.
When she said I'm an idiot for not paying for the contacts. I would say I paid for the contacts you just didn't use it for that. This is on you you completely screwed up. You lied and deceived me. Then you cheated your daughter out of having contacts. And you lied to your husband. So please explain to me how any of this is on me. Go get a job
Story 4: The patriarchy at it’s finest right there, good on OP for trying to stop it
That first one is horrible. She not only stole from OP she stole from her child! Aldo never ever ever get a dog you cant take to the vet with a moments notice. If you are struggeling it is much nicer to re home the dog and will give you a much less stressful life.
If she pays back I MIGHT pay dirctly to the eye doctor or MAYBE to the husband if it seems like the sister dont got him around her little finger
Engagement story: He was supposed to say “do you love her?” When boyfriend says yes. “Then you have my permission now you need hers”
3 NTA; OP said she went to go sit with her family and that her cousin was there this had to be either a family wedding or a family friend because I’m not understanding why all of a sudden his family was present at this wedding and the ex-husband was there as well
Story #1. Contact lens are a want and not a need. Save up the money. Moving on!
1st story: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. OP, NTA
But you did give a positive response???!!!! You said if sister is happy, then your happy for them….
I love all the comments about the new husband being a misogynist but somehow they forget that the sister wanted it...
It’s a bit unfair to say giving a home to a dog “is a waste of money.” I grant that those kind of decisions are usually a family decision and she could have given a great home to a shelter dog for a lot less.