r/TIFU My Mom Got Me Ahegao for Christmas

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  • Опубликовано: 31 янв 2025

Комментарии • 631

  • @arwengrune
    @arwengrune 22 часа назад +542

    5:37 Woman here: yes it's a compliment.
    If the woman doesn't take it that way, run for the hills.

    • @ashh4929
      @ashh4929 22 часа назад +70

      Yup, as a woman myself, I seriously sitting here thinking, "Dude, that's wifey material right there."

    • @survivedandthriving
      @survivedandthriving 21 час назад +30

      Agreed.
      Also, while PIV is fun, this type of situation gives a bit of time and energy for other enjoyable adult activities that can also be super fun until he is ready to go again...

    • @eksassy901
      @eksassy901 19 часов назад +33

      Her smile was probably her thinking, “yep, I’m that good of a kisser!”

    • @hollywally9331
      @hollywally9331 19 часов назад +21

      Yeah. Dabney 100% right. For me personally, going for a long time makes me feel like "he's still going? Is he really just not into me?"

    • @BVBGirl-3313
      @BVBGirl-3313 19 часов назад +12

      Some women also like being more dominant and see it as they succeeded 😂
      ....
      But yes if she freaks out and belittles the person then run

  • @alenasenie6928
    @alenasenie6928 22 часа назад +696

    Story 1: no context and I knew it is US based because "I called an uber to go to the hospital"

    • @errantwinds-up8uu
      @errantwinds-up8uu 21 час назад +43

      Yep, I was thinking the same thing

    • @thelastoutlawofkc
      @thelastoutlawofkc 21 час назад +38

      Yeah right. I had to take an ambulance from One hospital to another after driving down to the first hospital and my funeral would be cheaper...

    • @Dog_in_tree
      @Dog_in_tree 21 час назад

      Ambulances are for life threatening emergencies.

    • @joshfishing3401
      @joshfishing3401 20 часов назад +1

      Nah my first thought would be I’m getting to that damn hospital as quick as I can if that happened to me no cop or traffic will stop me from getting there Uber will be the last thing on my mind until maybe for when I need to go home from the hospital

    • @lancerevell5979
      @lancerevell5979 20 часов назад +14

      Twice I have had to go to the hospital. Each ambulance ride cost me $1,000! Ouch! 😮

  • @juno1752
    @juno1752 22 часа назад +446

    4:13 gents of Reddit, if your pony crosses the finish line before the starting pistol, most jockies consider it a testament to their skill rather than the pony’s lack-thereof ;). Just, well, get back on the horse and try again. OP sounds like he could use some self confidence boosts anyway.

    • @seanshanleyAnimeUWLPer
      @seanshanleyAnimeUWLPer 22 часа назад +7

      And then you get Rslash making sienfeld signal references XD

    • @amierith
      @amierith 22 часа назад +20

      Also, if the guy can't go a second round himself at that time, switch it into a moment where you highlight your other talents and get her across that finish line in some fun way. Worst thing that could happen is "oops I finished early bye." She was probably just amused and flattered you finished early, but calling it quits and leaving her unfinished is only when it becomes a problem.

    • @matthewhearn9910
      @matthewhearn9910 19 часов назад +6

      As a 36 year old who has been in many relationships: guys, you gotta go in assuming the first time with ANYONE is gonna be underwhelming. The goal shouldn’t be to impress your partner, it should be to have a fun time together, whatever form that ends up taking under the circumstances. An early shot, not getting it up, things not “fitting” right? Those are all situations you can and will laugh about later as a couple, especially if all or even most the other aspects of your relationship work and are healthy. The less pressure you put on yourself to perform, the more likely the both of you are to have a good time together, even if it’s not what you pictured as a horny youth.

  • @SokarWasntHere
    @SokarWasntHere 22 часа назад +829

    This might be the craziest thumbnail we've had so far on the Rslash channel

    • @DeathBear27
      @DeathBear27 22 часа назад

      And the person in the thumbnail is a man

    • @mando9364
      @mando9364 21 час назад +31

      IKR? It's actually taken me a while to click on the video because I haven't been able to stop laughing at it or the title. 😂🤣

    • @Dog_in_tree
      @Dog_in_tree 21 час назад

      Dude's a total degenerate. He knows a large portion of his viewers are children, but he's constantly making porn references and perverted sexual jokes. He's clearly addicted to porn, and he even whines about the hub being unavailable in Virginia when he does VPN ads.

    • @topasu9454
      @topasu9454 21 час назад

      and it's fucking disgusting

    • @nomar5spaulding
      @nomar5spaulding 21 час назад +7

      It's hilarious.

  • @JokesInBase13
    @JokesInBase13 21 час назад +226

    Finished OP: As a woman, that would be one HELL of an ego boost, especially if we'd been dating that long without even kissing (which would kinda make me think he wasn't actually attracted to me). Also, pro-tip for him, there's still a whole lot of fooling around you can do while you're waiting for your refractory period to reset, so there's no need to run off.

    • @Windmelodie
      @Windmelodie 16 часов назад +6

      Fully agreed! My first 3 partners (one wasn't actual intercourse, just other stuff) were never able to finish and I seriously thought it was my fault (they simply werent experienced either and were nervous/not used to the physical demand). It really gnawed at my self-esteem, I always thought I was doing something wrong, on top of not being able to enjoy myself as well.
      My now husband was the first and only one who initially finished sooner and was embarressed by it (also due to lack of experience). I was THRILLED. It felt like I was actually attractive to him or that I was good in bed and it boosted my confidence so much. Over time, we both became more experienced (with eachother) and more comfortable and knowledgeable on how to make eachother happy, so now our bedroom life is perfectly happy and normal. But hell, any woman who shames a man for finishing fast does not deserve to have a guy. It's a sign he is really into you and you can grow from it together, you just need to be open-minded and accepting.

  • @PaleLikeIce-to1jv
    @PaleLikeIce-to1jv 19 часов назад +81

    “Wow, okay, I just did that. Aren’t I hot and sexy?”
    I just laughed so hard, rSlash. You are exactly correct- that is how I would see that situation.

  • @kurisu.senpai
    @kurisu.senpai 19 часов назад +144

    13:50 Rslash, you could have shared the picture OP posted of her "bloody" bath water for us.

    • @somaplay
      @somaplay 18 часов назад +25

      Maybe he is afraid of getting the video nuked

    • @MarukaiX
      @MarukaiX 13 часов назад +14

      @@somaplaythe thumbnail is hent@I I’m pretty sure he would be fine

    • @Mooshi_18
      @Mooshi_18 12 часов назад +12

      I posted the picture if you’re curious 🙌

    • @MarukaiX
      @MarukaiX 12 часов назад +4

      @@Mooshi_18 ohhh thank you! Yeah that does kinda look like blood lol

    • @laiir2958
      @laiir2958 11 часов назад +1

      He used to do stuff like that but most people listen with t heir phones across the room, so I guess he's stopped

  • @DaBaseBallZ
    @DaBaseBallZ 22 часа назад +202

    Story 1:Well. Look on the bright side,Now OP can cosplay Okarun from Dandadan

  • @RealCoolstriker64
    @RealCoolstriker64 20 часов назад +42

    Gotta defend OP3: Even if that thought crossed my mind with a friend, it would be labeled “you will ruin your friendship if you say this” and promptly ignored forever.

    • @avatale8612
      @avatale8612 13 часов назад +3

      @@RealCoolstriker64 fr hes not a mind reader

    • @Peter-hx3im
      @Peter-hx3im 8 часов назад

      In high school, this girl Angela had a crush on me. She would ask to wear my football/basketball jersies on game days, she was constantly sitting on my desk and interrupting me when I was reading or studying.
      But I thought she was just a friend because she tried to set me up with her friend sophomore year, and she always had older (like, age 25+) boyfriends, and I thought "why would she be into a nerd like me after dating grown men."
      I missed out because she was really cute, but I also probably got lucky, because high school me was not mature enough to date someone with her level of trauma.

  • @silverflight01
    @silverflight01 21 час назад +91

    Itchy Butt Story: Well that's ONE way to find out you have an allergy to something. But man, that must've been a super painful year

    • @eric98292
      @eric98292 19 часов назад +5

      Dude tried literally everything except the obvious.....go see his doctor.

    • @badkitty4922
      @badkitty4922 18 часов назад +3

      Exactly. OP did that stereotypical "man thing" by not going to his PCP.
      It's great that he figured it out before his allergy intensified, which CAN happen especially since he kept putting the allergen right against his skin.
      I'm HIGHLY allergic to latex and before it was mostly eradicated in the medical field, I had to make damn sure NO ONE touched me with latex gloves on.
      I found a solution for the tourniquet used at blood drawings. Over my shirt or wrap gauze around where they're going to use it.
      Latex leaves a nasty taste in my mouth if it's in the room with me but as long as it doesn't touch my skin, I'm good. 😉👍

    • @peterhobson3262
      @peterhobson3262 18 часов назад

      @@eric98292 I had a persistent itch on my upper back and, after three days, I went to the doctor. It turned out the be an ingrown hair but, since I couldn't see it, I couldn't know that.

    • @It-is-me...Melsie
      @It-is-me...Melsie 16 часов назад

      @@eric98292 Yes. I couldn't believe he didn't even go to the doctor. Just accepted he was going to be itchy for the rest of his life. That's nuts.

    • @uniraffesaur
      @uniraffesaur 16 часов назад +1

      @@badkitty4922It’s definitely a good thing they’ve removed latex from medical supplies, because that’s the last thing you want to have causing an allergic reaction.
      Jokes on me, though, because I’m allergic to whatever they use to make latex-free adhesive 😂💀

  • @Okita78
    @Okita78 21 час назад +67

    The Uber to the hospital is so dystopian.

    • @paulroberto2286
      @paulroberto2286 20 часов назад +10

      Right?! Dude was in so much pain, and had to go "Well, If I call 911, they'll send an ambulance which I can't afford. I'll order an Uber, even if it means waiting in agonizing pain."

    • @abiean222
      @abiean222 13 часов назад

      i bet if the dude got an ambulance he'd still have his testicle. but, americans just seem to want to go into debt over medical issues.

    • @0rido
      @0rido 6 часов назад +1

      Bro! This is where we are.

  • @andrewcummings7832
    @andrewcummings7832 22 часа назад +92

    The pillow story is exactly why I don’t ask for anime related stuff from my family, there’s no way I’m explaining that kind of stuff to them

    • @TheOfficialLardVader
      @TheOfficialLardVader 21 час назад +4

      Im blessed with a family where I could laugh hysterically the moment i see it. Gasp through an explanation and then wed all crack up.

    • @hollytheanimalcrossingfan
      @hollytheanimalcrossingfan 21 час назад +2

      I only ask for tame stuff like sailor moon books. Then again, I don't want risky stuff anyways

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 19 часов назад +1

      @@hollytheanimalcrossingfan I never asked for "Sailor Moon" things, because I know how clueless my mother is, but sometimes she'd get them anyhow. You'd be surprised at the things she thinks are "Sailor Moon." Basically every anime ever. Puella Magi Madoka Magica? Sailor Moon. Neon Genesis Evangelion? Sailor Moon. Ranma ½? Sailor Moon. Dragon Ball Z? Sailor Moon. Gunsmith Cats (Yes, it's not like it has to be a popular anime... just anything that looks like it was drawn in Asia)? Sailor Moon. I actually tell her to just not buy me gifts because she's so bad at buying them, but I guess she's got something to prove?

  • @silverflight01
    @silverflight01 21 час назад +49

    Mario Kart Story: Yeah, maybe throwing a race might've been a good idea, even without the whole "You/I can do whatever you/I want with me/you" thing, especially since OP was salting wounds and stuff as time went on.

    • @vbarreiro
      @vbarreiro 15 часов назад +2

      Right - I used to play Mario Kart with my ex and I would actively try to lose a couple rounds just so she got to win every so often. Playing a game where all you do is lose is not fun.

    • @Peter-hx3im
      @Peter-hx3im 8 часов назад +1

      I figured this out in Jr high having tickle fights with my best friend's sisters and their friends (all within 1.5 years of in age) I was big and strong early, and could easily hold their wrists with one hand so the girls could never tickle me, but I let them break loose because if they stop having fun, the game ends.

  • @ethanestevez382
    @ethanestevez382 21 час назад +57

    9:10
    husband: You think this is funny?
    Wife: In a cosmic sort of way, yes.
    Husband Well, Mrs. funny Wife , is this how you get your sick kicks?
    Wife: What? Its just an ordinary anime pillo... oh my goodness!

  • @hollytheanimalcrossingfan
    @hollytheanimalcrossingfan 20 часов назад +29

    Story 3: it's not your fault op. You can't be a mind reader.
    Scavenger hunt: that is kinda hilarious but i hope no one gets hurts.

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne 16 часов назад

      Well, if a woman said that to me, I'd have to double-check, because I'm DEFINITELY getting her to take her clothes off.
      I would also make sure she knows what the safeword is.
      Although I would also like to add that all my friends know that I'm basically Dandelion with a beer belly, so they would DEFINITELY know the implications of that proposal beforehand ^^
      I suppose if that strategy didn't work, the lady should have chosen another. Maybe just ask the dude out. Less romantic, but he's clearly not picking up what she's putting down.

  • @smbsmw1111
    @smbsmw1111 20 часов назад +48

    3:53 IT WAS ME BARRY

    • @cogpamp21schannel4
      @cogpamp21schannel4 19 часов назад +2

      I can't un-think that 😂😂😂

    • @Mewse1203
      @Mewse1203 18 часов назад +1

      😂😂😂

    • @CassiusKent
      @CassiusKent 12 часов назад +1

      GOD DAMN IT LOL this really got me

  • @SkottiKimble
    @SkottiKimble 22 часа назад +74

    Your call on the guy who did his Lonely Island impersonation, is absolutely right. It's flattering as hell for me when my partners get that excited over me. Hell, my wife and I have been together for 7 years (married for 3), and to this day she has a "hair trigger" and it makes me feel so wanted and loved.

    • @briantarkenton8868
      @briantarkenton8868 21 час назад +4

      And I *BLEEP*ed in my pants.

    • @Navywalrus09
      @Navywalrus09 20 часов назад +4

      🤣🤣🤣Lonely Island impression!🤣🤣🤣

    • @k3upikachu
      @k3upikachu 18 часов назад +3

      Same! Whenever a partner has finished super quickly (one did as I was about to go down on him - hadn't even touched it yet lmao) I'm so flattered. Never had an issue with it as long as their stamina gets better over time

  • @ricardodemarco3486
    @ricardodemarco3486 22 часа назад +134

    About the Mario Kart story. I think that I can understand how OP never reached the same conclusion as his female friend: never in a million years would I ever force anyone else to give me a kiss or something else further in the nsfw scale. Right out of the bat I feel that asking for something as a reward of a competition or a bet is like a small punishment that the looser has to give or loose or rent or whatever. As much as I would like someone else to kiss me and what else, it must be consensual, I don’t want that person to be forced to do it but to willingly do it to me. It is so basic to me that it wouldn’t even cross my mind to request that.

    • @survivedandthriving
      @survivedandthriving 21 час назад +19

      Agreed. It says great things about OP, and you too, that this is a card that you would never think to play.

    • @TherealbigO1
      @TherealbigO1 21 час назад +13

      Everyone thinks they know what a romantic situation looks like until you're missing signals that everyone else can see from space.

    • @threecards333
      @threecards333 20 часов назад +16

      I started with the reverse expectations: OP would win and "ask" the friend for NSFW requests which ruined their relationship. Instead he did not which made her upset. TBH she should have made the wager with a different game once, won then make a mid romantic request which would shift the "overton window" of their relationship

    • @brag0001
      @brag0001 20 часов назад +7

      Yes, but if you have half a brain cell listening to her, you let her win at least once to see what she wants to do with her win 😅

    • @KrakenIsland64
      @KrakenIsland64 20 часов назад +7

      I mean, it wasn't like "truth or dare", "she could do anything she wanted with me, or I could do anything I wanted with her" are not rules you'd expect if you were thinking of borrowing a cd from someone.

  • @Gashnaw
    @Gashnaw 22 часа назад +43

    Holy hell. I just looked up Testicle Torsion.
    -It can happen for no reason at all
    -If you have it, your testicle is dead within six hours
    -LUCKILY it is rare.
    Still, the fact that here in Canada, emergency rooms can be 6-10-14 hours waits. if you are not gushing blood, missing a limb or vomiting, you can wait.
    If I ever get TT and my testicle dies because had to wait 10 fucking hours. I am also gonna be filing a lawsuit since it could have been avoided.

    • @serena8362
      @serena8362 20 часов назад +1

      Why are the wait times so long? Is it lack of staff?

    • @MyLadyPanda
      @MyLadyPanda 11 часов назад

      @@serena8362 Yeah, there is a severe lack of staff in hospitals up here and also just primary care physicians. Plus depending on the time of year. the wait times are longer.

  • @rikschaaf
    @rikschaaf 22 часа назад +65

    Testicular torsion is no joke! The doctor managed to save mine after I had the same issue (not caused by scratching or anything. It's when the ball gets twisted around somehow, cutting off the blood supply I believe)

    • @queenofputrescence5167
      @queenofputrescence5167 21 час назад +9

      I have a friend who had ovarian torsion while pregnant. They had to go in to remove the ovary to save her life. She said it was the worst pain of her life. Baby was born safely later by c-section.

    • @hollytheanimalcrossingfan
      @hollytheanimalcrossingfan 21 час назад

      ​@@queenofputrescence5167yikes so it can happen to anyone in different ways.

    • @hollytheanimalcrossingfan
      @hollytheanimalcrossingfan 20 часов назад

      Wait .. why did my comment get deleted?

    • @cynister7384
      @cynister7384 13 часов назад

      @@hollytheanimalcrossingfan RUclips just does that sometimes for no reason at all. I swear like 80% of my comments just disappear despite having nothing even remotely problematic in the content. I'll honestly be surprised if this one doesn't get deleted.

  • @klbriceno1
    @klbriceno1 19 часов назад +11

    I felt the mute button one down in my soul.. I used to work for a call center. We did several things there, we did customer service for adult websites back when they were new, transcription, tarot reading and other misc things. One day I had a guy yelling at me because he forgot to cancel his free trial to "slutfest" I thought I hit mute, said "this guy is a ****ing idiot" to my neighbor... heard silence and then "what did you call me" from the phone line.. I froze and quickly said "sorry I was talking about my neighbor.. let me cancel that for you and get you that refund.. lol.. I will never forget that day for as long as I live.. thankfully they weren't listening to me for quality assurance that day.

  • @mayowhishes
    @mayowhishes 21 час назад +21

    4:35 shess not mad at it lolll she thought it was cute

    • @mayowhishes
      @mayowhishes 21 час назад +1

      Yuppp ! Girls love to trains a boy

    • @mayowhishes
      @mayowhishes 21 час назад

      Yes id compliment, the smile after was a heh heh so powerful I am so sexy

  • @Saxophone_King
    @Saxophone_King 22 часа назад +57

    Gotta love the zoom mute button. I was taking an online class that used kahoot. I had my zoom window open on the top half of my vertical monitor and another window open beneath it. I had been messing with that lower window and somehow unmuted. I had been on a hot streak and was sitting in first, until I botched one question. I had literally been giving myself a pep talk about keeping it together for the last few questions. Upon getting it wrong I shouted "You've gotta be F***ing kidding me." The professor paused for a moment before saying "Whoever just said that, your mic is on." I was dying of embarrassment. Everyone I talked to said it was the funniest part of the class.

    • @k3upikachu
      @k3upikachu 18 часов назад +1

      I'm so paranoid about virtual meetings that I turn my camera off, physically cover it, double mute myself, and turn my laptop away from me if I have to pee during a meeting 😂 and I still get so worried I'm somehow unmuted that I check every 5 seconds to make sure I'm still dark

    • @Saxophone_King
      @Saxophone_King 18 часов назад

      @@k3upikachu I usually have my camera on but have an inline mute toggle active as well. I just didn't that day I guess. It was kinda funny honestly.

    • @Roseasuko
      @Roseasuko 17 часов назад

      Bro foreal virtual meetings mics feel like they turn on whenever. I remember fire emblem 3 houses came out and my brother and I was playing it. There's one character who has a voice line that says "KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!" (caps lock and all XD). One time I'm in virtual class and my brother walks in and talks to me about something (maybe a different game) and my reply was "KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM". The teacher stopped and was like "Rose, your mic is on".

  • @BezddDakota
    @BezddDakota 20 часов назад +8

    Story 5: I've heard this one before and I still keep saying it. DON'T FALL SLEEP IN THE BATHTUB!! You can drown!!
    I didn't need to hear or see the bloody bath to know that they screwed up.

  • @immortalmangafan7155
    @immortalmangafan7155 22 часа назад +108

    Gotta defend Op a bit on story 3, I think her plan was pretty shortsighted because she didn’t take into account how it’d be interpreted as a creepy request if she wasn’t interested in the guy especially since she didn’t explicitly say it was going to be nsfw requests for them to do when they win

    • @survivedandthriving
      @survivedandthriving 21 час назад +22

      That's what I was thinking. The poor guy was being super respectful and trying to not take advantage of the situation or his friend. How was he to know she wanted him to 'take advantage' of the situation without also letting him know NSFW requests were OK?
      The person who ends up in a romantic relationship with him will have found an honest-to-goodness, actual good guy.
      On a side note: she also didn't think about the fact that while she was practising between their matches, he was likely also practising too.

    • @tenten1834
      @tenten1834 21 час назад +7

      Exactly! In most cases that would’ve been super creepy

    • @brag0001
      @brag0001 20 часов назад +7

      You don't need to defend OP for not abusing her. He f**ed up by not at least letting her win once to see what she would do with her win 😂

    • @peterhobson3262
      @peterhobson3262 18 часов назад

      If a girlfriend had made that wager with me and I won, a condom would have definitely been involved.

    • @iridescentsolace
      @iridescentsolace 16 часов назад +2

      Imo she could’ve flirted in more obvious ways if he wasn’t getting the hint, so I hope OP doesn’t bash himself too hard. Its not like they only could hang out with Mario kart

  • @nathanielthomson6600
    @nathanielthomson6600 22 часа назад +34

    Story 2: all I can think about is the "it was me Berry" meme.

  • @Rj-ij6ko
    @Rj-ij6ko 22 часа назад +40

    Story 3: Oh coooome on. Op you did NOT mess up here. That is NOT a signal. If she wasn’t interested in you and you asked for a kiss then you’re a creep…
    I get that it sucks to miss your chance with someone you really like but no this isnt on you

    • @RepellentJeff
      @RepellentJeff 22 часа назад +10

      Exactly.
      You like someone? *_Use your words._*

    • @Crabbucke
      @Crabbucke 22 часа назад +11

      Definitely a skill issue on the girl's part

    • @PawsOnTheBalcony
      @PawsOnTheBalcony 22 часа назад +9

      Yeah, it's on her for not communicating her feelings. Besides, this whole thing is kind of a green flag for OP - he never once asked his friend to do anything "inappropriate"/sexual when he had the power to do so (and a non-zero amount of guys probably would).

    • @afuzzycreature8387
      @afuzzycreature8387 18 часов назад

      ​@RepellentJeff yeah be like story 2 :p

  • @PatrickRsGhost
    @PatrickRsGhost 21 час назад +13

    The last story almost sounds like the plot of "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World". A large group of people go on a wild goose chase looking for buried treasure after its owner gives a cryptic clue as to its whereabouts before dying.

    • @eric98292
      @eric98292 19 часов назад

      OP learned the wrong lesson. Just keep those thoughts internal and don't speak them out loud until after the call.

    • @ScooterBond1970
      @ScooterBond1970 9 часов назад

      IT'S UNDER A BIG "DOUBLE-YUH"!!

  • @Mr_Timi1
    @Mr_Timi1 22 часа назад +89

    I kind of feel like that Mario cart guy is clueless AF, I also feel Like it's totally something I would do, except for the trash talking... I can't tell you how many opportunities I completely missed as a teen/young adult...

    • @Monasaurus_Rex
      @Monasaurus_Rex 22 часа назад

      I remember this one Reddit story where this guy named Harley had a girl over, and he had Harley bike posters on his wall and she said “I’ve never ridden a Harley before” and it took him years to realize she was trying to get in his pants

    • @Destro517
      @Destro517 21 час назад +2

      Same man Same realized one a year after the fact that one hurt

    • @j.j.juggernaut9709
      @j.j.juggernaut9709 21 час назад +3

      Tbh I don't know what that girl was on and why she did not make a move herself in the first place. Most times asking a friend to kiss you or anything similar might completely destroy the friendship, especially between men and women. Unless there is something kinda flirty already going on there, but how can a guy even know? With how much people complain about straight guys never wanting to be friends with women and how it is viewed in a bad light... I personally would not risk it

    • @Mikustan39
      @Mikustan39 21 час назад +1

      I only just learned how to flirt last year. I’m 21 now. And yes, I’m autistic.

    • @Mikustan39
      @Mikustan39 21 час назад +1

      @@j.j.juggernaut9709 I’m pretty sure the story stated she was shy/nervous to.

  • @jakoobie
    @jakoobie 21 час назад +21

    As someone who had a testicular tie down from his testicular torsion at 16. I agree don't ignore the pain.

  • @SuperNova-nl5eb
    @SuperNova-nl5eb 21 час назад +19

    7:44 hey, that would have flown over my head too, I'm too respectful to my female friends to think of taking it above just friendship

  • @thedoctorss69
    @thedoctorss69 22 часа назад +42

    Oh god That Mario kart story gives me 2nd hand embarrassment every single time I read it.

    • @pkcounterspell5140
      @pkcounterspell5140 21 час назад +8

      Yes, what the hell was she thinking?
      Seriously though, don’t do some weird 4d chess shit like that. Man don’t-and shouldn’t- react to that. The consequences of misreading those situation a way to high and „Will you be my boyfriend?“ are only 5 words.

    • @black-fenrir35
      @black-fenrir35 39 минут назад

      ​@@pkcounterspell5140that guy is gonna die a virgin.

  • @ProjectNaturePrds
    @ProjectNaturePrds 21 час назад +8

    13:56 Wealth, Fame, Power.
    Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates, attained this and everything else the world had to offer. And his dying words drove countless souls to the sea.
    “You want my treasure? You can have it. I left everything I gathered together in one place, now you just have to find it.”

  • @sophdog2564
    @sophdog2564 22 часа назад +21

    I use bath bombs pretty regularly and you definitely want to avoid red and yellow ones XD

    • @the_rachel_sam
      @the_rachel_sam 21 час назад +2

      Even just for staining, pink can be awful lol

  • @kelleyk28
    @kelleyk28 21 час назад +7

    My mom did something like what happened in the last story, and it turned out okay. She uses Tucker's line from Red vs Blue, "Bow chika bow wow" as her text message notification and forgot to mute her phone. It went off during the meeting and it got quiet for a few seconds. Then, the higher up conducting the meeting says that's the smartest thing he's heard all day. 😅

  • @papabear1333
    @papabear1333 22 часа назад +31

    I have a friend that works in the oilfields with me. He lost a big toe during work. We call him Nueve ( 9 in Spanish ).

    • @OklaCrazyChick
      @OklaCrazyChick 20 часов назад +1

      My husband had a friend lose his big toe on the rig. The elevators came down on it if I remember right... His name was Joseph.

  • @DaBaseBallZ
    @DaBaseBallZ 22 часа назад +20

    Story 2:I just remembered something. A story I shall never tell.....

  • @Mars075
    @Mars075 18 часов назад +7

    10:08 "it IS a happy anime girl"
    FUN FACT: the main ahegao face (the one in the thumbnail) is actually a happy anime boy
    don't ask how I know

    • @SuperSenshi
      @SuperSenshi 14 часов назад +2

      I thought it looked familiar! Which one was it, again?

    • @Mars075
      @Mars075 11 часов назад

      @@SuperSenshi 139808

    • @SomeRandomSimp
      @SomeRandomSimp 10 часов назад +1

      Just out of curiosity, name?

  • @fueledsoul3379
    @fueledsoul3379 14 часов назад +2

    same regarding the ahegao I’m not kidding, my whole household was shocked and it took a solid couple hours before I could break it to my mom then wore the said present to the Christmas party 😭

  • @ToyBonnieVentRabbit
    @ToyBonnieVentRabbit 21 час назад +6

    Mario Kart story. SOME MEN DON'T GET HINTS, OKAY, YA JUST GOTTA SAY IT, YOU GOT NO CLUE HOW OFTEN THE LITTLE HINTS GO OVER A LOT OF DUDES' HEADS

    • @RisingRevengeance
      @RisingRevengeance 21 час назад +1

      100% I'd like to think I'm a little better at it nowadays but there is zero chance I would've picked up on that when I was young

    • @threecards333
      @threecards333 20 часов назад +1

      a lot of guys who would "get the hint" in this scenario are likely red flags. Don't go red flag fishing.

  • @H3xx99
    @H3xx99 10 часов назад +1

    For Mario Kart dude, his story may as well have been titled ,"TIFU by respecting women and not demanding sexual favors for winning video games, even though she wanted it."

  • @avatale8612
    @avatale8612 21 час назад +6

    Story 3: In op's defense, they weren't in a 🌽 and to any other girl asking for a kiss when you lose comes off as creepy. Girls get mad when guys do t vmget hints, but thats kinda cus they expect them to read their minds and the guy proably doesnt wanna risk being a creep

    • @damienhailey118
      @damienhailey118 20 часов назад

      Nah, dude was just clueless. It probably never entered his mind to do that.

    • @avatale8612
      @avatale8612 16 часов назад +1

      ​@damienhailey118 cus it would probably be creepy and inappropriate if she wasn't into him, and how was he supposed to know she was into him?

  • @jerryeubanks3177
    @jerryeubanks3177 22 часа назад +8

    Guys, if you have to pee, do not lift something heavey. Pee first. I made that mistake. I got an infection in my epididymus a few days later. The pee got squeezed in there. It was horrible pain. But luckily I didn't lose any body parts.

    • @kylar616
      @kylar616 17 часов назад

      yep had that once, was like getting flicked in the nuts when i walked.

  • @TheMysterieRPGguy
    @TheMysterieRPGguy 21 час назад +2

    God that first story. If I think about it that anytime I scratch my members I could end up losing one of them makes me straight up shiver.

  • @HazeX2
    @HazeX2 19 часов назад +2

    Man, hearing the first story felt like all the pain was being directly transferred to me

  • @krazycats564
    @krazycats564 17 часов назад +2

    Falling asleep in the bath seems like a bad idea anyway.

  • @Spexx368
    @Spexx368 21 час назад +4

    I would do the exact same thing as the Mario kart story because I would be questioning if it was a sign or not. Because (at least in my opinion) the main reason men don’t get the “signs” is fear that they were wrong about noticing them.

    • @threecards333
      @threecards333 20 часов назад +1

      better a false negative than a false positive in these situations.

  • @raymondantoni7
    @raymondantoni7 22 часа назад +5

    The finished story if anyone wants a visual representation of what op went through just watch the bedroom scene from the first American pie film that is the best representation of this story

  • @BigPapa119R6
    @BigPapa119R6 22 часа назад +5

    0:42 this is making me sick I can feel it myself

  • @barklols
    @barklols 11 часов назад

    My mom actually got me hentai seat covers by mistake for Christmas once 😭
    She knows I like anime and was trying to be supportive, not understanding the context of the artwork which much like OPs husband, was nothing but anime girls who looked more excited than they should be and covered in “glue”
    I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it and ofc my mom is confused, I hold up the seat covers and tell her to look a little closer at their faces and the look of confusion to horror on her face was really good. The best part is my grandma was there all confused like “what?? What’s wrong???” And when my mom tried to tell her not to worry about it, my grandma stared silently at them for a second before going “is it semen?????”
    I kept them in my car for a couple years before they got dirty and I needed to wash them, but I also got tired of people taking photos of my car 🫠

  • @papabear1333
    @papabear1333 22 часа назад +16

    OP can be called Uno ( 1 )😂😂😂

  • @uniraffesaur
    @uniraffesaur 19 часов назад +1

    Throwback to like, 7 years ago when I was working at Hot Topic, and some 12 year old kid comes in asking if we have ahegao sweatshirts, and none of us knew what it was, so this 12 year old child starts explaining to a group of young adults what “ahegao” means 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

    • @MrCrunchytime
      @MrCrunchytime 13 часов назад

      As much as I like anime, the fanbase is f-ing creepy. You literally can't watch clips from any anime without the poster doing an ad for clothing merchandise that includes ahegao. It really ruins liking anime because all anyone ever sees are the creeps now.

  • @acjones2467
    @acjones2467 21 час назад +2

    Op for story 2, its ok, just blame the Reverse Flash, if it can happen to Barry Allen, it can happen to you too

  • @wolcek
    @wolcek 22 часа назад +8

    2nd story:
    "Well, I left home just a week before
    And I'd never ever kissed a woman before
    But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
    And said "Dear boy, I'm gonna make you a man"
    Sorry, I could not stop myself :D
    BTW - the lights are "2 white, 2 red" ;)

  • @theplaintech
    @theplaintech 12 часов назад

    And never assume that your cat understands one thing you're telling it about business, no matter how loud the purring is.

  • @nanopanda
    @nanopanda 22 часа назад +5

    9:51 how...how is he supposed to use this pillow?!
    Aside from how someone WOULD use it

  • @lonelcrosley
    @lonelcrosley 6 часов назад +1

    I dont even have balls and I had such sever sympathy pain hearing him describe his experience.

  • @Sandstimes
    @Sandstimes 18 часов назад

    Needing to order an uber to the hospital is such a dystopian thing that can only exist in America lol

  • @Woogoo336
    @Woogoo336 20 часов назад +1

    For the mario kart story, she wanted to play games with you, and you accepted. Everything else is her fault.

  • @giraffegiraffe8702
    @giraffegiraffe8702 19 часов назад

    Kiss story - that went the way I expected, where the OP is embarrassed but the girlfriend is thinking “WOW, he likes me a LOT”.
    😉😃

  • @Shimonotoki
    @Shimonotoki 21 час назад +1

    Itchy butt story: a simple doctors visit could have solved that month ago.

  • @Hellysal
    @Hellysal 12 часов назад

    Second story: yes, that's 100% a compliment. Don't be scared, you'll be more than fine.

  • @krazycats564
    @krazycats564 17 часов назад

    Omg the guy who came too early. The poor petal. It's not a big deal. It happens to people. It's definitely a compliment.

  • @theresawalhdice3122
    @theresawalhdice3122 22 часа назад +4

    Scavenger Hunt Story: This isn't an srew up OP since You only know where you found the map and not who made it.

  • @SquishyTheVampire
    @SquishyTheVampire 10 часов назад

    Welcome to America where calling an uber is cheaper than an ambulance.

  • @Yahtzee_09
    @Yahtzee_09 20 часов назад +1

    Those were not even hints in the Mario Kart story. Unless she had shown signs of being into him like that, no respectful guy would request a kiss.

  • @syborgcat3830
    @syborgcat3830 14 часов назад +1

    🎶 OP has only got one ball 🎶

  • @mattrare4459
    @mattrare4459 13 часов назад

    10:15
    Ironically, if its the same famous pic as the thumbnail, its not a happy anime "girl" lmao
    Might scar that poor woman even more

  • @bluexwings
    @bluexwings 13 часов назад

    5:37 No, you nailed it. It's a compliment. If a woman's put off, she's not the one. Just don't roll over and decide the night's done. ; ) lol

  • @mrlugh
    @mrlugh 18 часов назад

    story5: falling asleep in a bathtub is super dangerous. One story i read will haunt me forever. please don't sleep in the tub.

  • @AmGal11
    @AmGal11 15 часов назад

    The virgin guy: I can't speak for all women, but yeah I take it as a compliment.

  • @SuperSenshi
    @SuperSenshi 14 часов назад

    Now it's time to play "How Many Of The Thumbnail Faces Are From Stories I've Read" XD

  • @seabass819
    @seabass819 21 час назад +4

    To be fair, In the Mario kart story, op isn't a mind reader, and I'd there was no context to what she was driving at, it's 100% he's going to miss that hint.

    • @damienhailey118
      @damienhailey118 20 часов назад +1

      The humor is not that he missed a shot, but also actively torpedoed his chances in the process, if unintentionally.

  • @trevorstockwell8290
    @trevorstockwell8290 20 часов назад

    S1:What the ××××, dude somehow shrunk his change bag. It sucks he had to remove the change from his coin purse. Im glad to hear to hear not all change was removed. S2: He couldn't see the big green flag when was getting closer, his brain had a meltdown. Gotta love how cutely awkward the situation was and im glad she didn't find rude you ran off. She kinda found it cute from what the story told us. S3: Seriously dudes can be truly dense sometime. She wants to have adult fun with you and you couldn't see it, my god dudes truly have blinders on when it comes to someone who is into them.

  • @Slipknotyk06
    @Slipknotyk06 19 часов назад

    That second story, I feel for the guy. All I can do is hope she's understanding and hope he knows he's still a catch. Lol

  • @simonlathwell
    @simonlathwell 20 часов назад

    Testicular Cancer survivor here, guys please check yourself once a week when your in the shower when the "fruit" is hanging lower as when your body is warm it will lower, but being cold will bring them closer to your body so they stay warm. If you notice anything wrong don't be afraid to see your doctor as they are there to help. I was lucky and caught it early, but it was aggressive, and to only have a orchiectomy and several years of check-ups. I was doing regular check-ups due to cancer running in my family and it saved my life. If you are a parent with a son they should start checking themselves when they start puberty, and drill into them to always check themselves in the bath or shower, and tell you if something is wrong.

  • @ltmad1284
    @ltmad1284 11 часов назад

    Story 2: Bro primed and fired his shotgun in the space of two seconds 😂

  • @alfiesmith7078
    @alfiesmith7078 17 часов назад

    if it makes the last OP feel any better, while not especially high stakes, i did attend one of those virtual volunteer orientation things ... during which (not realizing my audio was on) i grabbed a tray with cake on it, loudly stuffed cake into my mouth, and had a mini argument with my mom about eating cake that way. awk.

  • @ScaryMannJK
    @ScaryMannJK 13 часов назад

    Story 1: I spent this entire story saying “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO”

  • @ajjamsen694
    @ajjamsen694 19 часов назад

    Imagine having to call Uber, be willing to sit in crippling and agonizing pain over calling an ambulance because of how insanely expensive ambulances are 😶 i mean, i get it but...woof

  • @clrtwallace0116
    @clrtwallace0116 14 часов назад

    Gotta watch that unmuted mic thing. I was on a call, and we were all waiting for the meeting to start, when my cat decided it was time for morning kisses. She crawled up onto my chest and was nuzzling my face, so I started kissing on her, telling her “there’s my baby girl, I love you” etc. Someone said, “I think someone isn’t muted…?” I was so embarrassed! But most people were just laughing. There were about 25 people on the call so idk how many knew it was me. But I knew and that was bad enough.

    • @MrCrunchytime
      @MrCrunchytime 13 часов назад

      That's funny, though I'll admit I'm not above baby talking to my cat in front of people.

  • @o.c.kiddkidd5163
    @o.c.kiddkidd5163 Час назад

    Story#2---THIS is literally a scene from the film She's Out Of My League, starring Jay Baruchel and Alice Eve!

  • @mackdee911h3
    @mackdee911h3 12 часов назад

    As a guy, that first one gave me sympathy pains... and i cant say I enjoyed my face in the same contorted expression for 10+ minutes.

  • @DaBaseBallZ
    @DaBaseBallZ 22 часа назад +3

    Story 3:OP kept winning because he picked WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAA-

  • @MadelinefromCelesteW
    @MadelinefromCelesteW 14 часов назад

    i do respect the first OP for including (and people with ballsacks) with gentlemen in that warning at the end i appreciate that

  • @dirtydoge756
    @dirtydoge756 11 часов назад

    10:50 thanks for making my Google Assistant pop up randomly! Lol

  • @8Spikey
    @8Spikey 19 часов назад

    My son had testicular torsion. When we understood that the pain was not normal, we rushed to the hospital. At the hospital he was fast tracked to save his testicle. The doctor was in the ultrasound so to not wait and then he was rushed to surgery. They untwisted it and saved the testicle. It was wild.

  • @ghostrider654321
    @ghostrider654321 20 часов назад

    The last story reminded me how my boss shit chatted on teams during a meeting, COMPLETELY FORGETTING THAT HE WAS SHARING HIS SCREEN to everyone, including the guys he was shit posting for. he was gone later than month to encounter other endeavors.

  • @elrondofomaha
    @elrondofomaha 20 часов назад

    Story 1: testicular torsion victim here. Can confirm one of the worst pains imaginable. Hospital misdiagnosed me with an infection so was walking around for a week with a very inflamed and very painful teatical before finally getting surgery. Men of the Internet, if you ever get pain down there demand an ultrasound as you have 3 hours before lack of blood means it's dead!

  • @lonelcrosley
    @lonelcrosley 6 часов назад +1

    I dont even have balls and the first story had me reaching down to check if mine was okay.

  • @WhoEustace
    @WhoEustace 20 часов назад

    mario kart story: OP didn't FU, it's called being a decent human being and not forcing anything weird on people without their explicit consent

  • @RainyLS
    @RainyLS 18 часов назад

    Story 2: My husband and I both saved ourselves for marriage. He actually finished before we even got started, and he was kinda embarrassed, but we ended up just laughing about it. We've been married for 4 years now, and it's still funny to think back on.

  • @matthewhearn9910
    @matthewhearn9910 19 часов назад

    Watching The Venture Bros could have saved this man’s ball.

  • @Krystalized_Python
    @Krystalized_Python 22 часа назад +1

    I'm so happy we're getting more variety, thank you rslash 💛🐍

  • @AkidaUchiha
    @AkidaUchiha 20 часов назад +1

    5:39 hi i'm a woman and while my husband didn't do this exactly, the first time we were *ahem* he did go before me and spent the next 40 minutes in the bathroom and when he came out he was so ashamed and i was like "uhh, honey, are you okay?" yeah...sorry.... "you know... all this means is you're gonna have to hop back in there for round 2. i'm not mad or anything" and fellas, it was fantastic.
    anyway my point is, if someone's judging you or making fun of you for that they're likely not compatible anyway. find kind people =]

  • @kingofdank4429
    @kingofdank4429 8 часов назад

    CRAZIEST THUMBNAIL I’ve seen from Rslash!! 😅

  • @SD-xt9gu
    @SD-xt9gu 22 часа назад +1

    On the last story actually laughed....out loud! A similar situation happened to me and it did NOT go unnoticed by the CFO that was presenting at the time. 😂🤣

  • @alexwang007
    @alexwang007 3 часа назад

    For homies that might've not had *The Secs* yet, if you're worried about this happening to you, go to the bathroom and crank one out real quick. If you still got your v-card, dw, you'd be able to get it up in seconds again.

  • @airallieman
    @airallieman 21 час назад

    years ago in the precovid days, we were in the office and one coworker walked up to another asking if he was available. He responded sarcastically that he was on a "riveting call", not realizing he wasn't muted. Yeah I triple check the mute before I say anything or play any audio.

  • @deadeye4047
    @deadeye4047 22 часа назад

    I bought an ahego hoodie for my little brother for Christmas. I was away, so I wanted them to film it... They didn't... I was pissed. He still wears it, though, lol.