I’ve actually been in this situation, didn’t get stabbed, just gave the money but stepped aside to (prove I was legit), so the camera could see his face. Idiot didn’t have a mask.
@@idk3284 I would imagine the bank's insurance would kick in for that withdrawal, since it was an obvious robbery, no? Dude should've only lost his money for a few days.
@@JeromeADavis do you not know how cameras and pictures work? His face will be on a list and basically anyone who is working on Police/Security Cameras will be looking out for him... plus police post pictures on their Facebook pages now too... so the chance he got caught is high.
One of the first things I learned in CLS training was to never remove a foreign object from the body as it could cause more damage coming out than going in. It could also be the only thing keeping you from bleeding out
Thats exactly the point he was making but because everyone in world already knows that, he didn't even feel the need to say it. Every single person that watched this thought exactly the same thing.
“Disarming someone with a knife is very difficult” It can’t be that hard, all you gotta do is take a chainsaw and make a clean vertical slice at the top of the arm.
@@illig4912 yes karate in general is a joke they are always stuck in the 90s era and all they show is how to strike brick with your bare hand nothing to do with self defense
I saw a meme getting passed around years ago that said that. I thought about it for a second and was like "nah, my wife's PIN is a palindrome so that wouldn't work"
It was a thing that went around a few years ago. The sad part is that it was a legit thing that somebody suggested but everyone involved was like nah fuck em
Not a uncapped marker.. I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣i love that u said that it made u idk seem old school normal.. nobody is going to probably understand what I mean by that .. but it’s a good thing I’m saying.. ✝️🙏❤️
@@s1monh3nriksson I knew that someone would come and tell me something similar to what you said. I said offensive because the best defense is the attack, what is the name of an attack? An offensive! 🤭
I have a tip for defending yourself against an attacker: If you are close enough and the attacker is wearing sleeves grab the sleeves. This will greatly restrain their arm movement. Use that to close the distance between you and the attacker and just start elbowing them as hard as you can while you hold their sleeves
Ways to survive 1. Flashback to happy times then you’ll get a massive power up 2. Rely on the power of friendship 3. Plot armor 4. Give up on your dreams an die
Plot armor is surprisingly effective. Just pretending you got plot armor makes most people dumbfounded so, as long as you don't push it too far, you can easily buy yourself a few seconds to escape or attack.
You messed up tip 4 It's actually "Give up on your dreams and die" An army commander listened to this advice given by his strongest soldier. RIP Erwin smith
His time as a seal would have definitely involved this as standard training as in the British SAS ( special air service ) or SBS (special boat service)
@Sommer Meirik that’s why I prefer to use an ATM that’s outside and in a public parking lot. And also police drive around the area and in the parking lot often
@@tristanruusmaa4571 and the next guy has the same backstory and you team up. In the end that repeats a 1000 more times and now you have a mafia of people who got their money taken by ex wives
@@claudewinters2091 yes but that’s w a child who doesn’t have any real intention to harm you. Fighting with someone who wants to hurt you, and is possibly stronger than you is even lower of a chance
JUST GIVE THEM THE FUCKING MONEY! Sure you loose £500 or whatever is in your account, but you keep your life. Also, there's no way you're running when a guy has a knife pressed up against you. Where are you going to run? Into the knife?
As someone who manages to get paint on them without even opening any paint or having any wet paint near I can confirm that it is impossible to do anything with an open marker without getting marker on you.
I refuse to believe someone on the streets can beat me with a knife while im facing them but if mrballen says its hard ig i wouldn't risk fighting em 😭
@@drained1177 shit, I guess tiktok is nothing but stupid people huh, people so "stupid" that some have saved a village from attackers who would have blown up the village
@@frenchtoast2573 RUclips, like tiktok, has a lot of stupid content on it. On one hand, you have a Stalinist trying to teach you economics, and on the other hand you have enough practical knowledge to develop multiple skills should you be willing to learn them.
As someone who have trained in martial arts, this is actually true. No matter how good you are in self defense, chance are you are surely gonna be 97% will get hurt because of how unpredictable and sporadic real life situations are.
But you remember you're in a guncontrol city and surrender your weapon to follow the law and kindly ask the robber to do the same since stealing is unlawful
Meh ill just run as a slow tortoise :/ *Looks away at phone and get jumpscared by someone* Me: wtf why bruh Someone: hehehehehhe ill rob you ;) Me: WTF WAIT WUT *runs fast as fuu boi* * Runs to 15 miles away * Phew, i got out okay time to go hom- *He was at this moment that he knew. He fu@$**#d** up*
buy the time u pull that gun u would be stabbed to death and it is super easy to disarm someone with a gun so u keep thinking guns solve the problem wile u get stabed and shot
@@kaustin3525 I mean it would be relatively easy to disarm someone with a gun who thinks that trying to pull a gun agaimst someone who already has a knife out and is in stabbing distance will solve your problems.
@PCarba so if i have a knife pressed into your back, you are fast enough to pull a gun, turn around and shoot before i stab you? Dang thats some crazy ninja speed 🤣🤣🤣
@@ginger_nosoul pressing a knife against his back would be a terrible idea. One twist of his back and then suddenly you lose your chance. Guns do have use in close quarters especially pistols, also pulling out a gun is relatively fast and more then likely you will win the encounter
a guy pulled a knife on me I gabbed his hand a squeezed as hard as I could his hand made breaking and cracking noises he dropped the knife and ran away, he was a small guy but still he wasn't able to do anything to hurt me
The whole fight back thing is kind of like people trying to follow the “rules” in a street fight. Like nobody’s gonna wait for you to get ready to fight, no garuntee they won’t fight dirty. You gotta remember the only thing that matters in a street fight is winning
You’re supposed to smile. The smile is what makes it funny. Lol. It would’ve been creepier if he didn’t smile. Smiling makes it less creepy. Obviously.
"pull that baby out and apply pressure, that's not true, you bleed to death" Me: Ah yes, the same applies to being shot by a crossbow, but the guy breaking into my house didn't know that.
It’s incredibly accurate though. I have two little brothers and it’s exactly like that. I’ve only successfully done it once by grabbing the marker and twisting in two different ways to make him let go
It would make sense, but the difference is that you care if a child gets hurt to drop the marker. You can bet your ass that disarming a knife is easier than disarming a marker from a kid because you could hurt the robber with much less remorse and much more prejudice.
@@jaynco2686 disarming someone with a knife is really hard dude. Seriously, I've seen people with 20+ years of experience with Krav Maga, in the military, karate, taekwondo and a few more fail to consistently disarm someone with a knife
Bro i fucking died😂😭🔥 mr king ballen is like , you remember ur a karate master *Gets in judo stance* *Gets stabbed* *Gets mocked fr tryna bring a jeet kune move on him*
@@blair1195 I see, so it is not to be disagree that violence is not the action nor the answer but also not to be disagree upon to agree that it is a solution.
“You remember that you’re a karate master-“
My fat ass: huh?-...
the fun fact is that i actualy know karate and that is 100% what people think its like
Me putting on the black belt I didn't even know I had in my pocket
My 3 lessons of Karate when I was 9 have finally paid off- wait! Never mind...
I'm fat but I'm a black belt in Choi Kwang Do.
@@ark2532 I don't know karate but I know how to disarm someone
Robber “Give me your money”
Me :” I’m a college student”
*robber immediately leaves
*Robber gives you money
Robber is also a college student
“shit, me too. take this mask and we will go find someone else.”
That’s why I invest everything so in the case I do get robbed I only have 300$ in my account not 2k
YO
As a guy with a 2 year old, I can confirm that it is very difficult to disarm a child wielding an opened marker.
As a former 2 year old I agree
@@natpeterson8313as a current 2 year old I agree as well
Oh yea. Pls tell me about it 😅
The wife must not like the front kick method.. 😂..
Not too hard just enough to wind them ..
The way he says “That’s not true, you bleed to death” with a smile gets me every time
"Give me your money"
"I'm homeless"
"Then what're you doing here?"
*sniffs "A man can dream."
*puts away knife, pats your back
Lolllllllllllllllll
Speech 100
When your build is 0 strength 100 charisma and speech
🤣🤣🤣
The moral of the story is, dreaming will save you life.
This is where I use the old "call an ambulance but not for me" tactic.
Then he calls an ambulance and stabs himself
@@zeronxepher4167 works like a charm, killed 69,420 murderers around me
Bro that's a pharmacist album cover
An American Classic 🇺🇸
i wish i didn't know the exact scene from your profile picture
I love how you put all 3 "life hacks" into a single scenario!
The analogy with the kid with the marker actually made me laugh out so loud, it's 2am, my neighbors probably think now I've completely lost my mind
Hmm... but most likely, they just think you witnessed something humorous.
...🤤
I’ve actually been in this situation, didn’t get stabbed, just gave the money but stepped aside to (prove I was legit), so the camera could see his face. Idiot didn’t have a mask.
Lmaooo, sorry for your lost money but the ending making me laugh.
@@idk3284
I would imagine the bank's insurance would kick in for that withdrawal, since it was an obvious robbery, no? Dude should've only lost his money for a few days.
@HypeTheGalaxy it only matters if he's caught which he will never be.
@HypeTheGalaxy we'll never know.
@@JeromeADavis do you not know how cameras and pictures work?
His face will be on a list and basically anyone who is working on Police/Security Cameras will be looking out for him... plus police post pictures on their Facebook pages now too... so the chance he got caught is high.
"Entering your password backwards calls the authorities"
Me: "1, 1, 1, uuuuh... 1!"
"LETS GO, LETS GO"
"INCOMING"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH- HEY, ITS STILL HERE"
I love tf2
@@1999Fabion GENTLEMEN
@@thekosgator7502 *TF2 opening plays*
Fegelein we lost the war 😔
One of the first things I learned in CLS training was to never remove a foreign object from the body as it could cause more damage coming out than going in. It could also be the only thing keeping you from bleeding out
I was thinking the same thing
Thats exactly the point he was making but because everyone in world already knows that, he didn't even feel the need to say it. Every single person that watched this thought exactly the same thing.
Exactly
Yep leave that to the surgeon!
That part about trying to disarm a child of her marker is 100 accurate. I've had to paint my walls twice in seven years.
Why was your wall attacking a toddler?
@@Bumholiohlmao
Only twice?
Attacker: " Give me all your money or ill stab you."
Me: "Did you just bring a knife to a gun fight?"
Attacker: "What?"
Me: "wHaT?"
Just say your a college student and you will get money
But he cannot rob you without consent
Lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂
badass john wick track starts playinng in the background
'Murica be like
Just say:
"Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance!
But not for me."
But would you have to pull out a revolver
@@realracoon yeah. An airsoft revolver would be great too.
@@darklegion3693 Don’t forget a .50 caliber sniper as your secondary.
@@destinyup1710 no no. You need an anti tank rifle as a secondary.
-Giorno theme intensifies-
I'm glad this came up on my feed again.... The kid with a marker analogy always makes me laugh! Those who know, know!
Do not let them take you to a second location!! You do anything you have to do, your odds of living are way higher in the first location!!!
Plot twist: this guy is just making sure you give him money when he robs you
Relatable
By "this guy" I'm assuming you meant the honorable MrBallen. Otherwise, that's kinda the whole point of being a robber, huh.
🤣🤣🤣
This need more likes 🤣
Im dead
“Disarming someone with a knife is very difficult”
It can’t be that hard, all you gotta do is take a chainsaw and make a clean vertical slice at the top of the arm.
That's so brutal, like why?
Hmm what???
Now THIS is how you disarm a person!
This is very literal asf! 🤣
Idk why I thought this was going to be a normal comment lmao
LOVE the marker thing, vividly makes the point so well!
“You remember you’re a karate master”
Says while showing an image of someone in an orange belt 😂 (In my karate school it’s the third lowest rank)
Black belt still likely to get stabbed, not to mention American karate is a damn joke.
@@illig4912 yes karate in general is a joke they are always stuck in the 90s era and all they show is how to strike brick with your bare hand nothing to do with self defense
@@roxle9905 my school we never do anything with bricks, all we do is self defense
Sooooooo what's a yellow with purple polka dots belt?🤔🤔 Sounds like i need to get my money back from that karate skool🤣🤣🤣
Mine doesn’t have a orange belt
Who the frick believes that entering your password backwards calls authorities? This sounds so made up and nobody is talking about it in the comments
I saw a meme getting passed around years ago that said that. I thought about it for a second and was like "nah, my wife's PIN is a palindrome so that wouldn't work"
It was a thing that went around a few years ago. The sad part is that it was a legit thing that somebody suggested but everyone involved was like nah fuck em
Someone yelled call 911 at a college and I heard a girl yell “what’s the number?!?!?!?!!!!”
That would be a good idea doeee
@@mickey_287 and if your pin was 1441 or 1111 or 2332 etc?
Guy: take out all your money
Me: *Takes out $10*
Guy: Is this a joke
Me: I wish it was *sniff*
Guy: want to rob people with me
Me: *nods in agreement*
AHAHA my sis would do that
Lmao
Sounds like a beautiful live story
Lol
"Now thats what i call infection"
Love the smile on your face the whole time!! 😂❤ Give 'ol Lungy a hug for me!🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️
Not a uncapped marker.. I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣i love that u said that it made u idk seem old school normal.. nobody is going to probably understand what I mean by that .. but it’s a good thing I’m saying.. ✝️🙏❤️
“You attack the attacker”
-Sun Tzu the art of war
Wait his last name was the art of war
@@thenexus8384 yes
Offensive
@@Tom19142 your sensitivity is worse than twitter's
@@s1monh3nriksson I knew that someone would come and tell me something similar to what you said. I said offensive because the best defense is the attack, what is the name of an attack? An offensive! 🤭
if someone tried robbing me at the ATM I'd laugh and say, "Sorry bro, but I can't withdraw anything less than $20."
Lol
😂
We all know dats bullshyt lol
Less than 20? I think you got that the wrong way around bud
@@MGSLurmey I think he was saying that at any time he has less than 20 at a time in his bank so robbing him would be impossible.
Please do more of these.
This was hilarious
I have a tip for defending yourself against an attacker:
If you are close enough and the attacker is wearing sleeves grab the sleeves. This will greatly restrain their arm movement. Use that to close the distance between you and the attacker and just start elbowing them as hard as you can while you hold their sleeves
Ways to survive
1. Flashback to happy times then you’ll get a massive power up
2. Rely on the power of friendship
3. Plot armor
4. Give up on your dreams an die
Plot armor is surprisingly effective. Just pretending you got plot armor makes most people dumbfounded so, as long as you don't push it too far, you can easily buy yourself a few seconds to escape or attack.
Step 5.
Get a role for an anike protagonist
Fake poor and pull out $5
But then you remember you aren’t the main character
You messed up tip 4
It's actually
"Give up on your dreams and die"
An army commander listened to this advice given by his strongest soldier.
RIP Erwin smith
Who said it hard to disarm a child lmao I tried it at the park today and all it took was one punch.
Hol' up-
Relatable
Same, he didn't get up so I got some cash for him from my friend abdul the corner street human trafficker
This is actually so good lmao
Lmao
Thank you for being real. I’m so tired of these “self defense experts,” making it seem like they’re disarming tactics actually work.
The marker analogy is wonderful. Thank you for making hard to hear info for most accessible.
This is why you go to college, kids, no one would rob a college student they'd give YOU money
Fuck college, rather die by a stab wound than have to worry about student debt for the rest of my life.
Until you realize you are in latin America and get robbed no matter what
I work on a college campus, college kids are robbed ALL THE TIME, lol. Mostly by people in the surrounding projects.
@@steve202002 And you are in Brazil
@@viper6022 almost got it hahaha, im in panama
“It’s not about the knife, nor wielder, but the experience.”
- The Quiet Kid
You’re so woke
@Boyfriend beep boo bop
Eren to mikasa
@@trollrat2828 My names Jeff
@@_Courier_6 that's kinda offensive
As a teacher, I fully confirm the bit about disarming children with markers
The way he delivered this horrible scenario so joyfully 😂😂😂
"You remember you're a Karate master"
How do you forget you're a "Karate master"?
😅😅😅😅👍🏻
Go hang out with some karate masters, you'll get it. Lol
Hes JOKINGG
😂😂
I constantly forget I'm a karate master. I only remember whenever I watch karate films
“It’s like disarming a child with an uncapped marker without getting marker al over yourself, it ain’t gonna happen”
My man has EXPERIENCE!😂😂😂
His time as a seal would have definitely involved this as standard training as in the British SAS ( special air service ) or SBS (special boat service)
Nah it's easy I just beat the child up and get the marker
@@KFLY007 😂
Truth - give him the money. Its like a 700 dollar max lol, it's almost sad that's the persons big score hahaha
I watch Detroit urban survival training
He's so good at telling scary stories, I had anxiety from thinking that he wasn't going to be able to fit the 3 things in the video as stated.
I love Mrballen bc I can always feel that he wants to give respect to the victims he talks about unlike half of the other tiktok spooky story tellers
"Disarming someone with a knife is very difficult"
*Not if you have a gun*
Still going to be stabbed and have a dead robber so everyone is dying congrats
@Phninja500 true
@Phninja500 tho I think the 21 foot is accurate
@Sommer Meirik he takes a knife,y i cannot take a gun
@Sommer Meirik that’s why I prefer to use an ATM that’s outside and in a public parking lot. And also police drive around the area and in the parking lot often
"GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!!" Me: "I can't my ex wife took it all!" (Guy lowers the gun and starts crying) "me too man!"
Then you go rob somebody together
@@tristanruusmaa4571 and the next guy has the same backstory and you team up. In the end that repeats a 1000 more times and now you have a mafia of people who got their money taken by ex wives
@@justsomegoosewithinterneta4199 sounds like a fucked up nursery rhyme
@@TheRealFDRwow so cool
@@tristanruusmaa4571 fr though!!😭😭
Come on! I miss "You fool!". U gotta do a few more plz!👏🏻🤣💕✌🏼
Me: *gets robbed*
Also me: *having flashbacks of my past life as a martial arts master who have killed countless men*
@@hackzgamezyt plus the farmer with shotgun at dragon ball
@@nerveus6101 lol
I mean you're an apostle of a famous war criminal. What could have gone wrong?
It's not surprising from an apostle of war criminal
XD
Crocodile Dundee: "that's not a knife... *pulls out large dagger sized knife* "this is a knife".
Robber: *gets the f#@k outta there*
Omg 😅
Movie reference moment
Bruh moment be like: *Why are we here? Just to suffer?*
Is this a Arnold Schwarzenegger reference ?
And while you are pulling your big knife, the robber already stab your gut.
Well, thank god I conceal carry and keep tabs on my surroundings lmao.
Best way to do it. Just reach for your "wallet," then start blastin
Best Defense in all situations, a Firearm and Training
Robber: give me your money
Me: ok
Cash app card: u have insufficient funds
“But that’s not true you bleed to death”
Stares at us with a deadly smile........
It's true tho your better off leaving it in.
@@moralitycake4089 ik cuz it slows down the amount of blood you lose befcause it’s covering it
It also makes other people around you think "Holy shit that looks real" and they give you a generous tip.
@@denominagainatedableus13ye5 free money?
Robber: give me your money
Me sitting at the pavement: dude, I'm homeless...
Imagine if that really happens irl 🤣
As a nurse, if you get stabbed, leave it in!!
The marker analogy is great! 🤣🤣
"Disarming someone with a knife is very difficult"
*Not If I have a knife too*
@@helluvabossfan. the holy blade from holy things to banish the heretics
Yeah Sarvente
@@skywatcher458 you knoq she’s a demon?
@@helluvabossfan. she’s a demon
@Why am I alive? you out-americanned him
"If you punch in your ATM code backwards, the authorities will me notified!"
Guy with 1111 as his PW: "that's bullshit,"
Exactly or 2442 and similar...
Common sense no longer exists
Ah!!😂😂these replies just kill me!
He says to St Peter at the pearly gates.
This comment is so underrated 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yep yep; that was me. Not that number, but still a palindrome.
Ballen is in his chaotic era 😂
When you have a former navy seal telling you it's hard to disarm someone with a knife, BELIEVE HIM!
"It's like trying to disarm a child with an uncapped marker without getting marker on you." 🤣🤣🤣 You must have kids!
2 out of every 30 attempts I can do this... So it's possible... But just a statistically low chance of success
@@claudewinters2091 yes but that’s w a child who doesn’t have any real intention to harm you. Fighting with someone who wants to hurt you, and is possibly stronger than you is even lower of a chance
Lol on the same general track I ain’t getting marker on me that child on the other hand is looking like a Picasso
r/I’mAlsoaParent
He has several lol well... a few. One of them is brand new!
"Its like trying to disarm a child who has an uncapped marker without getting any marker on you."
Me : *P u n c h*
*K I C K*
*Y E E T*
@@odjgriffin779 I was looking for this LMAOO
C O M B O
*G A M E S E T*
I was the attacker.
The like button was the victim.
I love how cheerful you are about our death 😅 lmao
Lol
he’s basically saying: “if a guy comes up to you with a knife, ya fuckin screwed.”
Naw run 🏃💨 or secretly pull out the 9 and everything will be fine🔫 .
“A can of mace/a .45 is all I need to stay alive”-Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes
Run or if they are not using a mask, try pepper spray or something close to burn their eyes
@@spider-mancantsee5875 you mean take out the secret flamethrower i have on my back at all times?
JUST GIVE THEM THE FUCKING MONEY! Sure you loose £500 or whatever is in your account, but you keep your life. Also, there's no way you're running when a guy has a knife pressed up against you. Where are you going to run? Into the knife?
He says all this with the biggest smile. I'm dying!
"It ain't gonna happen."
*Intense Michael Keaton Mr. Mom vibe*
😂
“You bled to death” he says while he’s chill and smiling
Lmfaoooo this killed me
@@veronicaingleby6986 like that knife?
@@The_Zeeke 😅
yes, we have seen the video
That a man with experience there
I know you have your own kids mr. ballen and that marker analogy sounds like it comes from experience 🤣
I know that analogy very well without having any kids. Kids are always super crazy. Well at one kid will be
Right? Like there was some trauma behind it. 😂
As someone who manages to get paint on them without even opening any paint or having any wet paint near I can confirm that it is impossible to do anything with an open marker without getting marker on you.
Fax
You people must just be severely uncoordinated
Who knew that Mr ballen had a sense of humor. He's pretty funny
I refuse to believe someone on the streets can beat me with a knife while im facing them but if mrballen says its hard ig i wouldn't risk fighting em 😭
Remember: this guy is a legit Navy SEAL.
Yeah, and remember: he does tiktok as a living.
So this is what we can gain from a legit Navy SEAL ?
@@memeAsalUsul as if military members can only like military stuff
@@drained1177 shit, I guess tiktok is nothing but stupid people huh, people so "stupid" that some have saved a village from attackers who would have blown up the village
@@frenchtoast2573 RUclips, like tiktok, has a lot of stupid content on it. On one hand, you have a Stalinist trying to teach you economics, and on the other hand you have enough practical knowledge to develop multiple skills should you be willing to learn them.
"Put your code backwards to call the authorities"
* has a whole same number four digit passcode *
Lol the people who have 1919 as a pin: 😑
LOL
It would just be 9191
Imagine doing that
DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU CREATOR YOU SCREWED DA HIDDEN WAEV
As someone who have trained in martial arts, this is actually true. No matter how good you are in self defense, chance are you are surely gonna be 97% will get hurt because of how unpredictable and sporadic real life situations are.
Eh I just watched the three musketeers movies as a kid.
"And you remember you are a karate master "
Me that has never left my room
Moral of the story: Don't go to the ATM, go to the bank where there is security
And get mugged on the street
And become hostage in robbery
@@agbag8185 Don't live in leftist run cities.
Or the Wawa or other supermarket.
Or a gun
Him: “You remember you are a karate master.”
Me: “I remember I have glock in my pocket.”
Yyyyy I by u n in kn gingivitis gym mum nun numinous in in him hi initially. 8n no in h8
Yep, that'll do it.
Never bring a knife to a gun fight.
"The Gun is mighter than The Sword"
-Hol Horse
But you remember you're in a guncontrol city and surrender your weapon to follow the law and kindly ask the robber to do the same since stealing is unlawful
here in britan I remember the butter knife in my pocket.
I would really love some new MrBallen PSAs
His expression while saying "you bleed to death" 😂
surely everyone’s adrenaline would kick in and u would just run fast as fuck
I'm fast as fuck boii
Meh ill just run as a slow tortoise :/
*Looks away at phone and get jumpscared by someone*
Me: wtf why bruh
Someone: hehehehehhe ill rob you ;)
Me: WTF WAIT WUT *runs fast as fuu boi*
* Runs to 15 miles away * Phew, i got out okay time to go hom-
*He was at this moment that he knew. He fu@$**#d** up*
@@nerveus6101 this was the most unfunny thing I’ve ever read
@@nerveus6101 😐
@@ceoofhypixel4626 Yes, that's the point
This guy: “Disarming someone with a knife is very difficult”
Me: *proceeds to pull out gun
buy the time u pull that gun u would be stabbed to death and it is super easy to disarm someone with a gun so u keep thinking guns solve the problem wile u get stabed and shot
@@kaustin3525 I mean it would be relatively easy to disarm someone with a gun who thinks that trying to pull a gun agaimst someone who already has a knife out and is in stabbing distance will solve your problems.
@PCarba ???
@PCarba so if i have a knife pressed into your back, you are fast enough to pull a gun, turn around and shoot before i stab you? Dang thats some crazy ninja speed 🤣🤣🤣
@@ginger_nosoul pressing a knife against his back would be a terrible idea.
One twist of his back and then suddenly you lose your chance.
Guns do have use in close quarters especially pistols, also pulling out a gun is relatively fast and more then likely you will win the encounter
"You're gonna get cut in a knife fight. Deal with it." - The Punisher
Great analogy with the child and a marker!
Robber: "Give me your money"
Me : *opens my wallet and finds 2 gums and a dime*
Robber : "Bro...."
Me : *bro...*
This is like in cartoons when moths fly out of the characters wallet
“Can I have a piece of gum?”
a guy pulled a knife on me I gabbed his hand a squeezed as hard as I could his hand made breaking and cracking noises he dropped the knife and ran away, he was a small guy but still he wasn't able to do anything to hurt me
😂😂bruh for real? Yeah for real....
@@someartist1908 “ye fuck it"
"it's like trying to disarm a child who has a marker without getting any on you"
You speak like someone with experience.... [nam flashbacks]
Bwajahahaja truer words have never been spoken
I yeeted a child today
"a Kaaarate Maaasterrr! " 😂😂😂 Also that's the best analogy ever! The marker...😵💫
The whole fight back thing is kind of like people trying to follow the “rules” in a street fight. Like nobody’s gonna wait for you to get ready to fight, no garuntee they won’t fight dirty. You gotta remember the only thing that matters in a street fight is winning
Why did he look so happy at the end when he said “you’ll bleed to death”🤣🤣🤣
The BEST 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤣🤣
Because that guy remembered that he was a god
Something I would do ngl
“That’s not true. You bleed to death” while he’s smiling
You’re supposed to smile. The smile is what makes it funny. Lol.
It would’ve been creepier if he didn’t smile.
Smiling makes it less creepy. Obviously.
Coppy
Imagine If he said that without smiling
"That's not true. You bleed to death" 😐
@@mcpeguru4060 you copied an extra p
@@DylanBegazo yea, i mean I try to smile at goodbyes as well. It would be rude not to do so.
Mr ballens sage advice about trying to fight back against a knife attack is especially appropriate for bjj guy. They are the invincible ones 😂
Me that has a pin that is written the same backwards: "well then."
Me who has successfully grabbed several uncapped markers from my nephew, untouched: *Attackers beware your tricks won't work on me*
Oof
-im gonna die now-
"Just punch in your ATM code backwards"
Mfs whose ATM code is a palindrome:
(╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)
@@bigmackium8844 I can't tell if that's a cranky old man or a shook person with a Jesus t
A cross?
Yeah, my (used to be) go to was 0220.....
@@meperson2348 Jesus T?😭
This was your best piece of content by far. Thanks yo!
The way you talk in this Short reminds me of my buddies in Pittsburgh- wild macabre facts/stories told with subtle chuckle
Robber : "gimme your money"
Me : "wanna play games at my place?"
Robber : "yeah sure why not."
I have to goats
20/20 with the ammo crisis
Come on man I don't want to have to spend a hundred bucks on the two bullets I'm about to put in your chest
"Give me all your money!"
"Uh, my account says I have 1.32$ left"
Attacker “hey....do you want a mask?”
Victim “Did we just become best friends”
Both “YEP!” 🤗
@@chaddsteinberg3758 yay the power of friendship
*gives him another knife*
“Ok man we are going to rob together”
@@chaddsteinberg3758 i hate these scenarios but i don't know why other than how unrealistic they are.
I got 0.00 left
I love the energy in this video :D
No one delivers gleeful doom like Mr. Ballen.
"pull that baby out and apply pressure, that's not true, you bleed to death"
Me: Ah yes, the same applies to being shot by a crossbow, but the guy breaking into my house didn't know that.
Holy shit😂😂😂
Bruh!! I knew that at the age of 6 but that is also when i was taught to use a bow!!
oh-
oh my
wait, you used a crossbow? So is my gun emplacement loaded with canister useless?
“It’s like trying to disarm a child with an uncapped marker without getting marker on you” that’s, oddly specific but ok
It’s incredibly accurate though. I have two little brothers and it’s exactly like that. I’ve only successfully done it once by grabbing the marker and twisting in two different ways to make him let go
im pretty sure he has a kid, so he's probably speaking from experience
It would make sense, but the difference is that you care if a child gets hurt to drop the marker. You can bet your ass that disarming a knife is easier than disarming a marker from a kid because you could hurt the robber with much less remorse and much more prejudice.
@@jaynco2686 disarming someone with a knife is really hard dude. Seriously, I've seen people with 20+ years of experience with Krav Maga, in the military, karate, taekwondo and a few more fail to consistently disarm someone with a knife
Thatss very easy
Just kick the kid and boom disarmed
Bro i fucking died😂😭🔥 mr king ballen is like ,
you remember ur a karate master
*Gets in judo stance*
*Gets stabbed*
*Gets mocked fr tryna bring a jeet kune move on him*
John: "You'll bleed to death 😃"
Me: "😃"
Violence is never the answer.
It’s the solution.
So it's the answer then.
No. Violence is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
@@silentbob7959 Violence is the action, not the answer.
@@baloocallout678 tis but the other way round.
@@blair1195 I see, so it is not to be disagree that violence is not the action nor the answer but also not to be disagree upon to agree that it is a solution.
And you said all this with a smile. Hahahahaha.
Love it!!