that was quite extraordinary. when i did the "saying this to a baby" exercise, i realised that i had shut myself down from receiving love. my experience was when saying these words to a baby that my heart melted because of course it deserved love, care protection etc. and in turn i experienced that within myself. one question tho ... i also noticed that when i was saying it that if i was to say it repeatedly enough (and certainly with the emotion of the statement i am certain within myself that a baby or dog would most certainly "feel" it and respond internally accordingly. i truly appreciate your style ... very clever doing this sitting on the floor of your sitting room. very relaxed, calm and an easy enviornment to feel included in. superb quality presentation, style and content. thank you.
Thank you for the kind words. Yes, animals and babies definitely sense emotion so if you say something with a harsh tone they will feel it even if they don't understand the message. That's not what the exercise is about. It's the message you keep telling yourself about not being worthy turned toward a baby or a dog and realizing how absurd that message is so that you stop saying it to yourself.
Hey Damon, just wanted to say this video has really changed my life ❤️🙏 I was so stuck in low self esteem and this really opened my eyes! It felt like a switch was turned on and I just GOT it...finally. Thank you so much for your authenticity and sharing your wisdom! I will be forever thankful and am sharing this wisdom with everyone I know who is willing to hear it lol. Sending you lots of love and light 🙏 warm hug, Argyri
A lot of things are physiological. For example... I went to a relative's house last weekend. I came back and that cured my problem. A simple lack of serotonin is a death sentence to psychology sometimes. So to people who are alone finding hacks and ways to trigger serotonin in loneliness is a godsend.
You made me cry at the moment u said "You were once a baby", felt that how rude I have been to myself in the past....But thanks alot, due this I feel good about myself now😊👍🏻
As you look back on the decisions you make in service to your higher values, the joy granted you by your will as a proper inducement will guide you to these higher expressions of what you are and always have been. Because their purpose is to guide you to be true, it follows that these joys are by their nature wholly deserved. The only way to increase them is by rightful action. In short you are the thing you desire and the path of highest fulfillment is the path of greatest deserving.
Really great video. I didn’t think it needed to be so long at first but ended up watching it twice and got a ton out of these ideas and Damon’s approach.
I really needed to watch this. I had such a low self confidence and self worth. These past months I experienced a major cathartic moment in my life that made me realize how low my self confidence was. Now I just try EVERYTHING that’s going to help boost my confidence.
I won't even lie, after about 2 mins in I was getting impatient like "why is he saying all of this? What are the 3 tips?" However, because I did participate in your live Zoom yesterday, I didn't check my emails & missed the one on Saturday which I would kick myself in the butt if I could, I decided to keep watching. That Zoom was sooooo rich. Thank you. If I could afford to sign up for the program, I would. Honestly, when I am making an income again, I will definitely seek out your program because even the nuggets I got from yesterday were enough to know just how valuable your program will be for me. I appreciate your time and the posts on RUclips that I get to soak up until I'm in a financial position to level up with your team. Please continue helping others heal. God bless!
Great content Damon - and absolutely 100% on the self values section. Your energy will penetrate outward around you and you see the flow & vibe show up in your world. I can recall when my energy and focus was in sync with my values and my days as well as events and people I met on that day were so much in a similiar state. I find that a early morning mediatation and really getting your head in a positive state first thing has amazing effects on the rest of the day. Thanks for all your great teachings, you have my subscription :) really enjoy your work !
Hello Damon 😊 I found you yesterday on RUclips and can't thank the algorithm enough in helping me find you. This video and a few others have helped me identify things about myself and why I could never keep up with affirmations. Thankyou so much love and regards😊
Yes, before you said it, I knew you meant the "concept" of self worth. If we were born, we have worth simply because we were created, and made it to earth.
It's better to just drop the idea of self-worth altogether. If such a thing exists then we're all worthy to the same extent. If that's true, then there's no need to even think about it.
I still feel like worthless garbage, even though the odds of us being here are, apparently, 4 trillion to one... I take criticism incredibly personally, and I seem to have an inability to accept subconsciously ANY form of praise or value.
@@JohnM... That is so painful to hear John! I hope you can find a way to, at least accept yourself. You must feel a tiny bit of hope, or you wouldn’t be listening to this video. Have you ever tried EFT tapping? The tapping world summit is taking place right now, also free. It doesn’t hurt to try🙏💚💚💚💜💜💜💖💖💖
My mom used to say, I'll take you to (x place etc...) if you do this for me (clean, tidy etc...) I now see this was actually conditional love, but I suddenly had the thought that my mom had a misguided belief that this was somehow showing me how to take responsibility (?) I could be wrong, but I recently intuited this. My mom also gave into me a lot, instead of setting up clear and strong boundaries with me. I also think that if this had been put in place, I would now feel much safer in the world, and stronger in myself.
I think it's okay to set up a system of rewards for children if they do what you want them to do. The problem comes in when the parent applies the child's worth to the task or implies that he or she may love the child more or less for doing what they want the child to do. Examples are: If you do you're homework you're a good boy. Or, why can't you do better like your brother.
Omg! I don’t compare myself to anyone but I I tend to tell my daughter that her friend is doing this and that when she doesn’t listen to me and do the opposite to what I tell😢😢 I’ll keep in mind to not do so… I always feel sad thinking am not good mother and I may not be able to raise her right because of my anxiety and panic attacks😢 which affect my life.
Typically when people use comparison with others, as in comparing a person to other people, they're also engaging in comparing themselves to others. You might not be aware of it because it's likely unconscious. Comparing yourself can contribute to anxiety. Next time you feel the need to compare your daughter with her friends, interrupt this pattern and try asking your daughter some questions about what interests her and what she might like to try. I've done many videos on eliciting values. I have some more coming out over the next few months where I will give you great questions you can ask people to really open them up and then you can use this information to influence them positively. I'm sure your daughter would really appreciate a conversation like that and it would be helpful to her.
Love definitely is Tops Family Happiness Friendship Security Freedom Peace Empathy I don't really understand NLP but I do know people who work with it and they say it's Powerful when you understand how it works thank you Damon you are an Inspiration best wishes my friend
What your talking about is the foundational basis behind ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experience. Yes, ACEs are typically more extreme, but I think of these as "soft" ACEs, things that traumatize the developing psyche of a child. Love this video!
This is great information Damon. Love your outpourings. One thing that makes anyone feel shat on, let alone a child, is saying "don't". That word is so demeaning. There is a place for it of course as there is for everything (our language is very narrow and could be improved upon) however saying don't most of the time, is very downputting and deflating and always takes away from the child's worth. Just think about how it makes you feel when someone says don't to you.
That's uncannily timely. I could almost accuse you of watching my attempts at this today and spotting where I was going wrong. I sense you shaking your head and saying, "Hang on, let me do a video on this for you!" Thank you!
i wish i saw this 5 years ago now 27 and come from extreme trauma and bullying my whole life it totally fucked up my self image and worth. always felt alone and now it's like i am always fighting with myself and with my demons
I think it's directly linked to self-worth. If you build the quality of capable into your self-concept you will experience self-efficacy, self- worth, and self-esteem if you value being capable, which most people do.
I think self-efficacy relies on actual successes. You need to keep trying and doing and build on the things you succeed at and actually feel the wins when you have them. I fell into a deep depression after a traumatic event and was filled with self-doubt and anxiety and lost the level of self-efficacy I had had my whole life. It’s a very hard thing to regain. I think you have to just keep trying things and being okay with failing. I was too scared to fail at things so I avoided things. And then it just grew bigger. And it felt like the things I used to be good at I would never be good at again. I’m starting to regain my footing slowly but surely. It started by trying to feel wins for the smallest things, even flossing my teeth. Being like, “I did it! I did this well! It was easy for me! I’m great at flossing my teeth!” Might be a dumb example but you get the picture. It helped me start doing more things. Hope that helps you. Let me know if you have found anything you think could help me. Thanks a lot. Be well. 💚
Hi Damon. Amazing content! Thank u! Can you please touch on the subject of body image? Negative body image. I feel there’s a subtle difference between self love/worth and body confidence. You can feel worthy of love but still struggle with confidence about your physical body. I am a life coach and I use the principles of Carl Jung Psychology to integrate the unconscious shadow. I’ve recently been exploring NLP as a tool to work with integrating emotions. Any feedback or videos u can share on coaching someone with negative body image. Can body confidence be ‘programmed?’ Also… do you have a list of core values? I get a bit confused after watching all your videos!! 🤣
@@DamonCart Thank you for reply. Self-confident and self-worth in my opinion is different things. Self-worth is complex thing made of: your social status and social feedback, your style (clothing, accesories, haircut), financial status, self-confidence and so on. How fix your self-worth? Well, at first you must fix you'r style. Just pick clothing which fit your body structure and you good (would be better if you pick clothes that shows your strong character or deep intelligence). Second, you must more interact with people to gain self-confidence. For introverts or hsp people its very hard (and im one of them), but you need to start somewhere by taking very small steps (for example in coffee shop while you buying something tell bartender that she is looks very cute without having any expectations). So, by fixing your style and self-confidence in social interactions you will get pretty high self-worth. In video you said that people are very unhappy when they compare themselfes with others and its very true. But in my personal experiance knowing (or reframing thoughts) doesn't change anything. Only one thing that could change yourself - is your actions.
It's only helpful if you can identify something you were doing or focusing on so that you can do it now or focus on it now. Beating yourself up about not being "as good" as you were in the past or romanticizing a past self who was so much better than you are now is not helpful. It's destructive. Put your attention on what is useful. What is useful about comparing yourself now to yourself then?
There are things in some of us that are truly off the chart, a beating that let the blood run down the back of your legs till your shoes made squishy sounds at eight years old. How do you get free of that shit other than forgiveness? God knows there are worse horrors done to children than my experience. Only when I forgave did healing begin many years later.
You're on a roll Mr Cart..... Last week the "self-relationship" fallacy updated... Today "self-worth" needs course correction. It hasn't sunk in 100% but the game's a-foot. This video made clear that erroneously my meaning of "self-worth" was performance based, (behaviour / doing / not-doing)... and that would be a conditional method of measure. I think (now) "self-worth" is absolute, fixed. I do have a question, "If my qualities are aligned with my high-values... would that not give a rating on a self worth scale ?" Thanks for making this a better place (y)
Thank you. It would fulfill that feeling of lacking self-worth so that you don't feel it anymore. So you would feel a greater sense of self-worth, but once that stabilizes and you realize there is no such thing, then there's nothing to compare it to nor measure it by. Actually there never was a true metric to measure it by. In other words, once you pull the plug on the erroneous idea that self-worth is a thing and you don't have the feeling of lacking self-worth, it's not something you think about anymore. If you were sick from a virus and you overcame it and for the rest of your life you were immune to ever getting it again, what place would it have in your identity? Probably none.
I have a strong feeling that to get my Father to notice me and support me emotionally I had to be a good boy when I was growing up. I also feel that I might have been loved but I wasn't shown any love from 7 years onward. Would that make me feel disconnected or even numb emotionally?
even if there is no selfworth, it is real to us...Low selfworth is real to us, and NLP is all about subjective experience....Who cares if it is real, if we suffer we have a problem
What if your higher values and your core beliefs don’t match up? I’d love to think I’m a kind person but because of having to look after myself my whole life I’m just not. I totally believe that comparing is the worse thing I do, it’s soul destroying. Amazing concepts.
I assume by core beliefs you mean beliefs about yourself. Yes, this is what most people are suffering from. When who you are does not align with your values, this creates low self-esteem. When your beliefs about yourself align with your values, your self-esteem goes up. You like yourself more in a non-arrogant way. You live a more fulfilled life, you fulfill your potential, you do more, and overall live better. This is the core of what I teach and how I coach people.
bro thanks for your patience keeping this channel. amazing content. u deserve the soon 250k subscribers. soon... , keep on, thx bro by making the world better
That's what I teach. It's a practice and you have to experience it to learn it. This is what my membership program is about. You're not going to get it from one video. If you're interested in understanding more, go to selfconcept.com
No that I haven't suffered from the concept; I've told countless fellow "blocked" musicians, comedians and visual artists, that there's no such thing as an "artist's block" - I've never seen one - same with the "odds" of making it (in my case show business) I have also never seen an odd. A few odd peeps ( myself included) but never an actual odd. I wonder what one looks like? Talk about the map is not the territory! Chitty map!
I value control attention, instead of worrying, but I recognize that I don't have it most of the time. Improve my attention, and I will improve my confidence?
Any time you improve competence, confidence will follow. So it's probably not just about your attention. Where do you want to invest your attention? Is that something you want to be competent at?
@@trinidad3668 I recommend that you don't focus your attention on your attention. That usually makes people self-conscious, which is the opposite of confident. Direct your attention toward the activities and skills you want to be competent at so that you become competent at them. When you have competence, confidence will follow.
i am revisiting this and there is a statement that you make i would appreciate some further articulation on. you say " when you don't feel like you are your highest values, then you are not believing that you are of high value" what do you mean by "high value"? do you mean that these are of value to me? to "society"? what makes them "high value"?
Your values as qualities of who you are. If I value passion and I believe I'm passionate, I believe I am the value that I value, which makes me feel valuable. It also will guide my behavior and motivate me to do more of what I'm passionate about, which will strengthen my belief that I am passionate, which will consequently make me feel more valuable.
Lack of self worth due to strengthened confirmation bias from learned helplessness is, I think, almost impossible to remove. I've been trying for MONTHS.
It was created so it can be removed. More accurately, you can become fulfilled to the point where self-worth is seen for what it is, an illusion. Join us for the free training that starts tomorrow if you're ready to be done with this.
Hi Damon. Amazing content! Thank u! Can you please touch on the subject of body image? Negative body image. Would u say that gets instilled from childhood as well? I feel there’s a subtle difference between self love/worth and body confidence. You can feel worthy of love but still struggle with confidence about your physical body. I am a life coach and I use the principles of Carl Jung Psychology to integrate the unconscious shadow. I’ve recently been exploring NLP as a tool to work with integrating emotions. Any feedback or videos u can share on coaching someone with negative body image. Can body confidence be ‘programmed?’ Also… do you have a list of core values? I get a bit confused after watching all your videos!! 🤣
Everything in this video applies to the body as well. Focusing on the body is just a more specific focus. Self-image is really self-concept. Visual is just one way in which people represent information, which includes what you think about yourself. A person will not change the way they think about themselves without changing the structure of how they represent internally the information about themselves. Confidence comes from feeling certain about something. So if you want confidence about yourself, you need to have some certainty about who you are. You can't go at confidence directly. You have to change the representations one has about themselves, which can be difficult because the representations are mostly unconscious. At the same time, we don't want to be confident about things we shouldn't be confident about. If you're unhealthy because you don't exercise and you eat unhealthy food, if you could create confidence about being healthy without changing your habits, you would be delusional and it would hurt you more than help you. Lack of confidence can be an indication that you need to change something.
It's difficult because someone I care about lavishes compliments on those with more physical beauty than I. It's difficult to not notice. Then I feel bad about myself.
People who ask for the exercises without the logic behind it tend to go back to the same patterns because they don’t understand the basics. I’m grateful for your videos! Thank you
But you have the time to find this video and comment on it? If you don't have time to watch the video to find out what the techniques are, you won't have the time to implement them. Honestly though, if you are suffering from low confidence and self-worth issues, how do you not have the time to resolve this as quickly as you possibly can. It's likely the single most important factor causing suffering in your life and limiting you from being who you want to be and creating the life you want to live.
If you value achievement, it's not a problem unless you only value achievement and nothing else. You value experiences that are important to you. I'm sure there are more experiences that you value other than just achievement.
What can we do when our beliefs about ourselves are not aligned with our high-level values? For example if I value happiness but don't believe I am a happy person. Can I change that? How can I do it?
Yes, this is probably the most common problem for people who suffer but are otherwise mentally healthy. It's also the basis of everything I teach, which is based on my mentor Steve Adreas' Self-Concept Model. It's an entire training and like I said my coaches and I teach it if you're interested. If you're not interested in learning the model but you want the transformation, I recommend coaching, which is also something I do as well. If you're interested you can email me at damon@selfconcept.com.
@@DamonCart You were very helpful in responding. I thought you also had a video in which you addressed this subject. I am interested in learning about the model and of course the transformation. I am doing my NPL certification and I think this subject will be taught soon. I will contact you if necessary. Thank you very much.
@@natashagallo3923 The Self-Concept Model won't be taught in your NLP training. No one else teaches it and I'm the only person Steve Andreas ever endorsed to teach it.
@damian cart , love your content brother , i am wondering if you have any advise on how to heal emasculation as a man with nlp ? any tips on where to start ect
First I would want to know how that's even possible to have your masculinity removed from you. Your masculinity can't be injured or taken away from you.
@@DamonCart i would say it’s not been removed but more so disowned since childhood due to being disrespected , my masculinity has been so disrespected , and abused and also more wounded masculinity if that makes sense, i’ve always been more a femenine man more than a masculine one
@@iamchannelll I wouldn't focus so much on trying to define yourself as masculine or feminine. If you have a disowned part of you then integrating that part using NLP would likely be very effective. A simple parts integration if the problem isn't traumatic. If it is traumatic, then Re-Imprinting would probably be the process for you.
Which nlp book would you suggest to a nlp beginner? When do you think is the best time to do the practitioner course/certification (i think this one is for beginners)?
Now is always a good time : ) I have an online practitioner training if you're interested. As far as NLP books go, there's a lot of bad ones out there. Because NLP is so vast you might need to narrow down which part of NLP you want to focus on. Anything written by Steve or Connirae Andreas (and the ones they wrote together) are probably the best. However, don't start with Steve's 6 Blind Elephants Vol. 1 & 2. Put them on your list for later. They're quite advanced.
this one video is a coaching session for me .. SUPER DIRECT SUPER SIMPLE SUPER EFFECTIVE thank you damon this is 26min video.. i wonder what you will say in 3 hours in a course ?
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it helpful. I invite you to join us next week for a free 3 hour course so you can find out what I will say.
If talking to plants has an effect (as all things transcend language with energy) no way a baby will not be affected by negative words DIRECTED towards them. Not seeing it in the moment doesn’t mean the consequences cant be measured longterm. Also affirmations are a fancy word for thoughts and yes training yourself to control your focus is the foundation of both feeling better and experiencing life better so this is 26 minutes of coo-coo bananas talking
Preverbal babies are unaffected by negative words because they don't know what they are. If I said negative words to you in a language you don't understand, you wouldn't be affected by them. Babies do respond to tonality so if you said positive words with a hostile tonality, which would they respond to? The meaning of the words or your tonality? The tonality of course because the words mean nothing to the baby. It's not "energy". The woo woo energy you're referring to has never been proven. There is no basis for it. If you think what I have to say about affirmations is coo-coo bananas talking, especially after what you wrote before it, why don't we debate this on a live stream? Then you can show off your wisdom and you can show people how coo-coo bananas I am. Deal?
@Damon Cart I got half way through your self concept assessment test than started spamming random answers bc I just wanted to see what was on the other side
@@OFFICALMENOFCULTURE While I've studied hypnosis and use it from time to time, I don't teach it. My training program is about changing beliefs, more specifically the biggest belief you have for which all beliefs come from. I don't see how spamming the assessment was helpful to you.
It took me a few years of working on it to finally free myself from those feelings. Get started now. Make it a regular practice. You will get there. I have group coaching for this as well.
What do you want to tell about the delusion / negative thoughts / energy / schizophrenia / paranoid-/schizo / autism-/ behaviour / paranoia / lack of confidence etc..
16:26 Should you also stop comparing others; people-to-people? We make value judgments in our brains as well so I don’t know how this would work although I would want it to. In the book “your brain at work”, it talked about how having a high ranking makes it release very positive chemicals. How status is super ingrained in us (even animals having pecking orders). It would be a lie if we say we don’t instantly & unconsciously place people to a different caliber based on our first 5 second impressions of them. By the age of 3, us humans already have a sense of the unspoken pecking order in our social standing.
The question is does this really serve you? Does it serve you to compare people to other people? It might in some situations, but one way that it will never serve you is to compare yourself to others or others to others by worth of existence. It's impossible to measure that. It's impossible to measure whether or not someone is better than you as a person. You can measure whether someone is better at a particular skill for example. In many cases that can be measured. But to think in terms of who is more or less worthy first of all is based on an erroneous assumption and secondly it's going to limit you. In war, one side has to make the other seem unworthy of existing in order to justify killing them unless it's self-defense. When in the history of mankind has this kind of thinking ever served us? Never. Also, we're not slaves to our instincts. Humans have conscious awareness which enables us to reflect on our instincts and decide whether or not going with our instincts is good for us and for others. We should utilize that rather than just give in to our every instinct.
I actually appreciate you setting the stage instead of giving into the instant gratification of people only wanting the exercises up front. My favorite NLP channel, thank you for sharing this knowledge.
You're so welcome! I see you have a channel too with over 1,000 subscribers. Keep going! The first 1,000 is the hardest. It's a lot of work but it will pay off if you stick with it.
Life Mastery Gym There are some exhausting days for sure but we must be reminded of our purpose of spreading useful knowledge. I’m definitely a veteran of delayed gratification 😂
There's a lot that goes into this work, but for now, if you experience feelings of low self-worth, remind yourself that there's no such thing. Notice if the feelings are coming from comparing yourself to others. If so, stop doing that. Comparing yourself to others if of no benefit to you. Think of something you enjoy doing and go do it.
@@DamonCart Hi Damon, thank you for all this helpful information. What if your self worth is being affected by the way you are being treated negatively by others? How do you change that especially if it's a pattern?
@@jema09 Shift your focus away from validating your worth by the opinions of others. You don't control what other people think. You'll never be able to please everyone. There will always be people, no matter how good of a person you are, who will judge you and think negatively of you. It makes no sense to look to others for your self-worth. It will always make you feel anxious and insecure. What makes you happy? What fulfills you and makes you feel satisfied with yourself, your life, and your relationships. Put your attention there and do those things. Treat what other people say as just feedback which only you can determine if it's useful or not. If it is, incorporate it. If it's not, throw it out. If someone is treating you negatively it usually has more to do with how they feel about themselves than what they think about you. So don't treat what they say about you as being true unless it is. If it is true, instead of taking it personal, change it to your liking.
@@DamonCart Thank you so much for this detailed explanation !! I will have to put this into practice in my life. I am new to NLP and I find your videos to be very informative. Stay blessed😅
That's a good question. This can be helpful as long as you don't frame it as being better or worse than your past self. If you look back to your past self and realize you had a skill or mindset that worked really well for you that you no longer incorporate, then this can be good for reconnecting with it. However, if you think in terms of self-worth, you're once again locked into the duality I mention in the video.
@@DamonCart I see, I think it is the second case that relates to me in this case. I have heard of "non-valuing" as a sort of meditation-practice, would you say that it is the same thing as non-duality? That is to say, if I would stop valuing things, would my suffering then stop?
@@hagerstrom94 no non-valuing is not the same as non-duality. Non-duality is at the heart of most Eastern religions and philosophies like Zen Buddhism and Hinduism. It's the approach of looking at the truth of who you are by understanding you are not separate from anything. You are going to value things, people, and experiences. It's in your nature. Trying to not value is valuing not valuing. You can't escape valuing and there's no reason to try to stop valuing. Valuing is the source of finding fulfillment.
I don't relate to the exercice because I do not 'Talk in my head, I don't make inner sentences , it's just a feeling of low worth but it's never phrased in my mind so I can't do this baby exercice isn't really helpfull to me, I don't say to myself I don't deserve love, I just tend to feel things in certain circonstances like I'm not good enought
Feelings don't appear from nothing. The feeling is always a response to some sensory input that is usually unconscious, which is why you think you just have feelings sometimes without cause. There is a cause. It might not be self-talk. It might be something you're seeing like a memory.
@@DamonCart The belief of not being enough and not having control over certain situations causes the compulsion to use something else as a cover up for anxiety. OCD is not anxiety, but sits ontop of it. When a person has it and doesn't do the compulsion when something that would trigger it arrises, anxiety arises, unless the person is holding a belief system that undoes all of it
Even a cockaroach does not give an F about how good or how bad it might be looking, but we do! The comparison trap happens by itself. I know it's bad to compare and I can say it a million times. I know it's bad to compare and I don't want to. But the comparison happens by itself as soon as I see someone "better" than me. I guess, it is subconscious/automatic. I try to distract myself -and it is soooo hard to do...
it is the way the women think "I am 10" - you should treat me like celebrity... then she finishes with cats ... THe thing you say Damon, don`t work in dating. Because in dating there are OTHER PEOPLE and not you judge/decide are you attracitve for them or not. But THEY do it. And THEY COMPARE YOU to other people.
@ this isn't a video necessarily about getting more dates. I have done videos on that topic so you can search them. What you're talking about is how to display your value to a woman so she sees you as valuable. This video is about connecting with your value which will give you greater confidence and self-esteem. In general, people perceive confident people with high self-esteem as high value. Confidence and self-esteem is very attractive. Become more authentically confident and you will become more attractive. This doesn't mean women will throw themselves at your feet. However, it's a lot easier to meet and date women when you're confident.
Not liking the first words you started off with. Never AGAIN SUFFER WITH LOW SELF WORTH. that should be reworded so only mind absorbs positive words. I.e ALWAYS FEEL HIGH SELF WORTH!
No it shouldn't be reworded because this is my video and I worded it the way I thought best. You are free to make your own videos and word the titles the way you think they should be worded. I won't tell you how to word your titles.
@@anitacarrier9386 if you want to challenge me on my NLP knowledge and ability, challenge accepted. If you're a coach, you would know that when you ask people what they want, most often they will tell you what they don't want. It's your job as a coach to reorient them toward the positive, which is what I think you're getting at. However, nothing happens without rapport, which means you have to meet the client where they are first before you can lead them. It's called pacing and leading. The title of this video is a form of pacing. It's my way of meeting the audience where they likely are so they connect with it and watch the video. In the video, I direct the viewers attention to what they need to focus on rather than focusing on what they don't want.
@@DamonCart i find your response somewhat defensive, but thats fine, guess I'm just beyond that stage, meeting me where I'm at is no negative input at all. But I understand the reasoning.
Imagining that I am saying such a thing to an imaginary baby brings out some emotions even though I know it is absurd and I can understand the whole idea behind this exercise. Yes it serves its purpose. But saying the same thing to an innocent baby is not going to be the same because the baby will absorb the vibration created in the body when someone is speaking such a thing. This is my opinion. But thanks I got the message
What vibration are you referring to? To a baby, the words are meaningless. They don't carry any vibration. The baby would only be able to respond to someone else's emotions. For example, if someone was saying mean things to a baby with an angry tone, the words are still meaningless, but the emotion would probably induce fear in the baby.
All is not lost. When I met my mentor, he corrected me on a lot of problems in NLP that was taught to me by my first teachers, but even still, I had a basic foundation and that made easier.
@@genchilal yes you can but it will take some time and a lot of effort. I've only given one so far, but there's a handful of people I'm training. Go here to get started: selfconcept.com/pages/self-concept-optimization
You're missing the point. It's the absurdity of saying these things to a baby or a dog. When you realize that, you'll realize to treat yourself the same way makes not sense. You were once a baby who came into the world, not deserving anything but also not undeserving. There was no scale to measure your worth then and there isn't one now and there never will be.
Learn more about the Self-Concept model! There is a FREE assessment to find out what are your core values:
www.selfconcept.com/?Aug8th-2020&
Are you a mason? Just curious
@@StreetN1ckel a mason as in do I build walls and buildings with bricks?
1. You are worth of love
2. Stop comparing yourself
3. High level values
that was quite extraordinary. when i did the "saying this to a baby" exercise, i realised that i had shut myself down from receiving love. my experience was when saying these words to a baby that my heart melted because of course it deserved love, care protection etc. and in turn i experienced that within myself. one question tho ... i also noticed that when i was saying it that if i was to say it repeatedly enough (and certainly with the emotion of the statement i am certain within myself that a baby or dog would most certainly "feel" it and respond internally accordingly. i truly appreciate your style ... very clever doing this sitting on the floor of your sitting room. very relaxed, calm and an easy enviornment to feel included in. superb quality presentation, style and content. thank you.
Thank you for the kind words.
Yes, animals and babies definitely sense emotion so if you say something with a harsh tone they will feel it even if they don't understand the message. That's not what the exercise is about. It's the message you keep telling yourself about not being worthy turned toward a baby or a dog and realizing how absurd that message is so that you stop saying it to yourself.
I don't understand. Why do babies and animals deserve love?
Hey Damon, just wanted to say this video has really changed my life ❤️🙏
I was so stuck in low self esteem and this really opened my eyes! It felt like a switch was turned on and I just GOT it...finally. Thank you so much for your authenticity and sharing your wisdom! I will be forever thankful and am sharing this wisdom with everyone I know who is willing to hear it lol. Sending you lots of love and light 🙏 warm hug, Argyri
Thank you. Warm hug right back at you.
A lot of things are physiological.
For example... I went to a relative's house last weekend.
I came back and that cured my problem.
A simple lack of serotonin is a death sentence to psychology sometimes.
So to people who are alone finding hacks and ways to trigger serotonin in loneliness is a godsend.
You made me cry at the moment u said "You were once a baby", felt that how rude I have been to myself in the past....But thanks alot, due this I feel good about myself now😊👍🏻
Good.
As you look back on the decisions you make in service to your higher values, the joy granted you by your will as a proper inducement will guide you to these higher expressions of what you are and always have been.
Because their purpose is to guide you to be true, it follows that these joys are by their nature wholly deserved. The only way to increase them is by rightful action.
In short you are the thing you desire and the path of highest fulfillment is the path of greatest deserving.
Couldn't have put it better myself. Very nice.
Really great video. I didn’t think it needed to be so long at first but ended up watching it twice and got a ton out of these ideas and Damon’s approach.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I really needed to watch this. I had such a low self confidence and self worth. These past months I experienced a major cathartic moment in my life that made me realize how low my self confidence was. Now I just try EVERYTHING that’s going to help boost my confidence.
There is actually a very specific, precise, and predictable way to create greater confidence. Make sure you're signed up for the training next week.
Yes I’m enrolled. 😊
The importance of this video cannot be understated. Thank you very much!
Thank you for the kind words!
Wow bro. Just wow. Makes so much sense. I'm so thankful to God for this knowledge. Thanks you so much.
You're welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
I won't even lie, after about 2 mins in I was getting impatient like "why is he saying all of this? What are the 3 tips?" However, because I did participate in your live Zoom yesterday, I didn't check my emails & missed the one on Saturday which I would kick myself in the butt if I could, I decided to keep watching. That Zoom was sooooo rich. Thank you. If I could afford to sign up for the program, I would. Honestly, when I am making an income again, I will definitely seek out your program because even the nuggets I got from yesterday were enough to know just how valuable your program will be for me. I appreciate your time and the posts on RUclips that I get to soak up until I'm in a financial position to level up with your team. Please continue helping others heal. God bless!
Thank you.
I have listened to this 3 times now and it goes all the way back for me to about 3 years old! I get it though. Rethinking my whole life. ugh
Great content Damon - and absolutely 100% on the self values section. Your energy will penetrate outward around you and you see the flow & vibe show up in your world. I can recall when my energy and focus was in sync with my values and my days as well as events and people I met on that day were so much in a similiar state. I find that a early morning mediatation and really getting your head in a positive state first thing has amazing effects on the rest of the day. Thanks for all your great teachings, you have my subscription :) really enjoy your work !
Thank you for the kind words. Really appreciate it.
Hello Damon 😊
I found you yesterday on RUclips and can't thank the algorithm enough in helping me find you. This video and a few others have helped me identify things about myself and why I could never keep up with affirmations.
Thankyou so much
love and regards😊
You're very welcome. Glad you found me too.
Yes, before you said it, I knew you meant the "concept" of self worth. If we were born, we have worth simply because we were created, and made it to earth.
It's better to just drop the idea of self-worth altogether. If such a thing exists then we're all worthy to the same extent. If that's true, then there's no need to even think about it.
I still feel like worthless garbage, even though the odds of us being here are, apparently, 4 trillion to one...
I take criticism incredibly personally, and I seem to have an inability to accept subconsciously ANY form of praise or value.
@@JohnM... What do you want instead?
@@JohnM... That is so painful to hear John! I hope you can find a way to, at least accept yourself. You must feel a tiny bit of hope, or you wouldn’t be listening to this video. Have you ever tried EFT tapping? The tapping world summit is taking place right now, also free. It doesn’t hurt to try🙏💚💚💚💜💜💜💖💖💖
My mom used to say, I'll take you to (x place etc...) if you do this for me (clean, tidy etc...) I now see this was actually conditional love, but I suddenly had the thought that my mom had a misguided belief that this was somehow showing me how to take responsibility (?) I could be wrong, but I recently intuited this. My mom also gave into me a lot, instead of setting up clear and strong boundaries with me. I also think that if this had been put in place, I would now feel much safer in the world, and stronger in myself.
I think it's okay to set up a system of rewards for children if they do what you want them to do. The problem comes in when the parent applies the child's worth to the task or implies that he or she may love the child more or less for doing what they want the child to do. Examples are: If you do you're homework you're a good boy. Or, why can't you do better like your brother.
Omg! I don’t compare myself to anyone but I I tend to tell my daughter that her friend is doing this and that when she doesn’t listen to me and do the opposite to what I tell😢😢 I’ll keep in mind to not do so… I always feel sad thinking am not good mother and I may not be able to raise her right because of my anxiety and panic attacks😢 which affect my life.
Typically when people use comparison with others, as in comparing a person to other people, they're also engaging in comparing themselves to others. You might not be aware of it because it's likely unconscious. Comparing yourself can contribute to anxiety.
Next time you feel the need to compare your daughter with her friends, interrupt this pattern and try asking your daughter some questions about what interests her and what she might like to try. I've done many videos on eliciting values. I have some more coming out over the next few months where I will give you great questions you can ask people to really open them up and then you can use this information to influence them positively. I'm sure your daughter would really appreciate a conversation like that and it would be helpful to her.
Love definitely is Tops Family
Happiness
Friendship
Security
Freedom
Peace
Empathy
I don't really understand NLP but I do know people who work with it and they say it's Powerful when you understand how it works thank you Damon you are an Inspiration best wishes my friend
Thank you. It's Damon, not Damien.
What your talking about is the foundational basis behind ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experience. Yes, ACEs are typically more extreme, but I think of these as "soft" ACEs, things that traumatize the developing psyche of a child. Love this video!
Thank you.
Love your conversational style of teaching!
Thanks so much!
An email brought me here, and I'm glad I clicked the link.
Damon FTW!
Welcome! And thank you!
This is great information Damon. Love your outpourings. One thing that makes anyone feel shat on, let alone a child, is saying "don't". That word is so demeaning. There is a place for it of course as there is for everything (our language is very narrow and could be improved upon) however saying don't most of the time, is very downputting and deflating and always takes away from the child's worth. Just think about how it makes you feel when someone says don't to you.
LOVEe this guy, thank you so much for this and for being so genuine! :) xx
Love your comment. Thank you.
@@DamonCart respect
I think u fixed me! THANKS MAN!
Awesome!
Thank you Damon. This is a very valuable wisdom prasadam. I was just sharing an opinion
You're very welcome
Just started NLP coaching journey. Loving your content - thank you!
Thank you.
Let me know if you want to train with us.
Makes a lot of sense 👍🏻
That's uncannily timely. I could almost accuse you of watching my attempts at this today and spotting where I was going wrong. I sense you shaking your head and saying, "Hang on, let me do a video on this for you!" Thank you!
Ha ha... Yes, I can hear your thoughts.
This truly resonates thank you. The policing of ones limiting beliefs is hard though, at least for me because the childhood conditioning is so strong.
Once you know how they're constructed and you work with the structure rather than the content, it's a lot easier to transform limiting beliefs.
could that in itself be a limiting belief?
i wish i saw this 5 years ago now 27 and come from extreme trauma and bullying my whole life it totally fucked up my self image and worth. always felt alone and now it's like i am always fighting with myself and with my demons
Most people never resolve this and the ones who do usually don't resolve it until midlife so at 27 you're doing well. You're on the path.
Have you ever addressed low self efficacy? I feel this is relatively different than self worth, though it is part of self esteem….
I think it's directly linked to self-worth. If you build the quality of capable into your self-concept you will experience self-efficacy, self- worth, and self-esteem if you value being capable, which most people do.
I think self-efficacy relies on actual successes. You need to keep trying and doing and build on the things you succeed at and actually feel the wins when you have them.
I fell into a deep depression after a traumatic event and was filled with self-doubt and anxiety and lost the level of self-efficacy I had had my whole life. It’s a very hard thing to regain. I think you have to just keep trying things and being okay with failing. I was too scared to fail at things so I avoided things. And then it just grew bigger. And it felt like the things I used to be good at I would never be good at again. I’m starting to regain my footing slowly but surely. It started by trying to feel wins for the smallest things, even flossing my teeth. Being like, “I did it! I did this well! It was easy for me! I’m great at flossing my teeth!” Might be a dumb example but you get the picture. It helped me start doing more things.
Hope that helps you. Let me know if you have found anything you think could help me. Thanks a lot. Be well. 💚
Hi Damon. Amazing content! Thank u! Can you please touch on the subject of body image? Negative body image. I feel there’s a subtle difference between self love/worth and body confidence. You can feel worthy of love but still struggle with confidence about your physical body. I am a life coach and I use the principles of Carl Jung Psychology to integrate the unconscious shadow. I’ve recently been exploring NLP as a tool to work with integrating emotions. Any feedback or videos u can share on coaching someone with negative body image. Can body confidence be ‘programmed?’ Also… do you have a list of core values? I get a bit confused after watching all your videos!! 🤣
I slept while watching this. I don't know how you put me in sleep mode, but now i must watching this again.
Let me know what you think when you see it while you're awake.
@@DamonCart Thank you for reply. Self-confident and self-worth in my opinion is different things. Self-worth is complex thing made of: your social status and social feedback, your style (clothing, accesories, haircut), financial status, self-confidence and so on. How fix your self-worth? Well, at first you must fix you'r style. Just pick clothing which fit your body structure and you good (would be better if you pick clothes that shows your strong character or deep intelligence). Second, you must more interact with people to gain self-confidence. For introverts or hsp people its very hard (and im one of them), but you need to start somewhere by taking very small steps (for example in coffee shop while you buying something tell bartender that she is looks very cute without having any expectations). So, by fixing your style and self-confidence in social interactions you will get pretty high self-worth. In video you said that people are very unhappy when they compare themselfes with others and its very true. But in my personal experiance knowing (or reframing thoughts) doesn't change anything. Only one thing that could change yourself - is your actions.
What about comparing yourself to a version of your past self? ie, Stronger, More confident etc.
It's only helpful if you can identify something you were doing or focusing on so that you can do it now or focus on it now. Beating yourself up about not being "as good" as you were in the past or romanticizing a past self who was so much better than you are now is not helpful. It's destructive. Put your attention on what is useful. What is useful about comparing yourself now to yourself then?
There are things in some of us that are truly off the chart, a beating that let the blood run down the back of your legs till your shoes made squishy sounds at eight years old. How do you get free of that shit other than forgiveness? God knows there are worse horrors done to children than my experience. Only when I forgave did healing begin many years later.
Sorry to hear you went through something like that. Sounds like you've found a way to move beyond it, which is all you can do to be free of it.
You're on a roll Mr Cart..... Last week the "self-relationship" fallacy updated... Today "self-worth" needs course correction. It hasn't sunk in 100% but the game's a-foot. This video made clear that erroneously my meaning of "self-worth" was performance based, (behaviour / doing / not-doing)... and that would be a conditional method of measure. I think (now) "self-worth" is absolute, fixed. I do have a question, "If my qualities are aligned with my high-values... would that not give a rating on a self worth scale ?" Thanks for making this a better place (y)
Thank you. It would fulfill that feeling of lacking self-worth so that you don't feel it anymore. So you would feel a greater sense of self-worth, but once that stabilizes and you realize there is no such thing, then there's nothing to compare it to nor measure it by. Actually there never was a true metric to measure it by. In other words, once you pull the plug on the erroneous idea that self-worth is a thing and you don't have the feeling of lacking self-worth, it's not something you think about anymore. If you were sick from a virus and you overcame it and for the rest of your life you were immune to ever getting it again, what place would it have in your identity? Probably none.
@@DamonCart Understood. Clear. The turn around is a process I expect headed in the SelfConcept direction 👍.
@@paulcilia4792 you will get there.
@@DamonCart whole concept of the video explained in less than 200 words.
I have a strong feeling that to get my Father to notice me and support me emotionally I had to be a good boy when I was growing up. I also feel that I might have been loved but I wasn't shown any love from 7 years onward. Would that make me feel disconnected or even numb emotionally?
It could, but I wouldn't look to the past for solutions. Only deal with wounds as they come up as resistance to advancing your life forward now.
thats absolutly the best Video for self-improvement
Thank you. That's quite a compliment.
It's amazing content! Thank you so much!
Thank you. My pleasure.
Yes been looking into this subject recently and what you have said just make so sense 👍🏻👍🏻 thank you for your great sharing of this useful information
You are so welcome.
even if there is no selfworth, it is real to us...Low selfworth is real to us, and NLP is all about subjective experience....Who cares if it is real, if we suffer we have a problem
It's good to start with the understanding that self-worth isn't real even if it's just an intellectual understanding at first.
What if your higher values and your core beliefs don’t match up? I’d love to think I’m a kind person but because of having to look after myself my whole life I’m just not. I totally believe that comparing is the worse thing I do, it’s soul destroying. Amazing concepts.
I assume by core beliefs you mean beliefs about yourself.
Yes, this is what most people are suffering from. When who you are does not align with your values, this creates low self-esteem. When your beliefs about yourself align with your values, your self-esteem goes up. You like yourself more in a non-arrogant way. You live a more fulfilled life, you fulfill your potential, you do more, and overall live better. This is the core of what I teach and how I coach people.
bro thanks for your patience keeping this channel. amazing content. u deserve the soon 250k subscribers. soon... , keep on, thx bro by making the world better
I appreciate that.
However, I'm a long way away from 250K.
Indeed helpful. Plz detail also as to how to start believing in highest virtues of self without acting on them
That's what I teach. It's a practice and you have to experience it to learn it. This is what my membership program is about. You're not going to get it from one video. If you're interested in understanding more, go to selfconcept.com
I enjoy your videos so much!!
Glad you like them.
Excellent video. Lightbulb moment!
Thank you. Glad you found it useful.
No that I haven't suffered from the concept; I've told countless fellow "blocked" musicians, comedians and visual artists, that there's no such thing as an "artist's block" - I've never seen one - same with the "odds" of making it (in my case show business) I have also never seen an odd. A few odd peeps ( myself included) but never an actual odd. I wonder what one looks like? Talk about the map is not the territory! Chitty map!
I value control attention, instead of worrying, but I recognize that I don't have it most of the time. Improve my attention, and I will improve my confidence?
Any time you improve competence, confidence will follow. So it's probably not just about your attention. Where do you want to invest your attention? Is that something you want to be competent at?
@@DamonCart Yes, I want to control my attention so that my automatic reactions to circumstances won't take over me. Is there a way?
@@trinidad3668 I recommend that you don't focus your attention on your attention. That usually makes people self-conscious, which is the opposite of confident. Direct your attention toward the activities and skills you want to be competent at so that you become competent at them. When you have competence, confidence will follow.
Thank you for sharing this!
You're welcome.
Another excellent video!
Thank you!
Nice contents mate, keep up the good work👌👌
Thanks, will do.
A great video. Thank you. We waiting for more 🌹🌹
Thank you and you're welcome. You don't have to wait for more. I've made over 600 videos. There's plenty more ready for you to watch.
@@DamonCart ❤🌹
i am revisiting this and there is a statement that you make i would appreciate some further articulation on. you say " when you don't feel like you are your highest values, then you are not believing that you are of high value" what do you mean by "high value"? do you mean that these are of value to me? to "society"? what makes them "high value"?
Your values as qualities of who you are. If I value passion and I believe I'm passionate, I believe I am the value that I value, which makes me feel valuable. It also will guide my behavior and motivate me to do more of what I'm passionate about, which will strengthen my belief that I am passionate, which will consequently make me feel more valuable.
Awesome thanks 👍
You're welcome.
I have watched so many videos of yours. They are all so helpful and amazing. #NLP
Thank you
Great video thank you
Very welcome
Lack of self worth due to strengthened confirmation bias from learned helplessness is, I think, almost impossible to remove. I've been trying for MONTHS.
It was created so it can be removed. More accurately, you can become fulfilled to the point where self-worth is seen for what it is, an illusion. Join us for the free training that starts tomorrow if you're ready to be done with this.
Thank you 😊
You're welcome 😊
wow...Thank you
You're welcome.
Lovely speech
Thank you
Very intelligent & helpful video! Some Similar concepts to A Course in Miracles.
Thank you. Glad it was helpful.
Hi Damon. Amazing content! Thank u! Can you please touch on the subject of body image? Negative body image. Would u say that gets instilled from childhood as well? I feel there’s a subtle difference between self love/worth and body confidence. You can feel worthy of love but still struggle with confidence about your physical body. I am a life coach and I use the principles of Carl Jung Psychology to integrate the unconscious shadow. I’ve recently been exploring NLP as a tool to work with integrating emotions. Any feedback or videos u can share on coaching someone with negative body image. Can body confidence be ‘programmed?’ Also… do you have a list of core values? I get a bit confused after watching all your videos!! 🤣
Everything in this video applies to the body as well. Focusing on the body is just a more specific focus. Self-image is really self-concept. Visual is just one way in which people represent information, which includes what you think about yourself.
A person will not change the way they think about themselves without changing the structure of how they represent internally the information about themselves.
Confidence comes from feeling certain about something. So if you want confidence about yourself, you need to have some certainty about who you are. You can't go at confidence directly. You have to change the representations one has about themselves, which can be difficult because the representations are mostly unconscious.
At the same time, we don't want to be confident about things we shouldn't be confident about. If you're unhealthy because you don't exercise and you eat unhealthy food, if you could create confidence about being healthy without changing your habits, you would be delusional and it would hurt you more than help you. Lack of confidence can be an indication that you need to change something.
@@DamonCart Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! 🙏
It's difficult because someone I care about lavishes compliments on those with more physical beauty than I. It's difficult to not notice. Then I feel bad about myself.
Feeling the desire for that attention is natural. Accept that part of yourself. What is the positive intention of feeling bad about yourself?
People who ask for the exercises without the logic behind it tend to go back to the same patterns because they don’t understand the basics.
I’m grateful for your videos! Thank you
Exactly!
What part of the video do you teach the 3 techniques? I would love to watch the whole thing but literally have no spare time. Thanks
But you have the time to find this video and comment on it?
If you don't have time to watch the video to find out what the techniques are, you won't have the time to implement them.
Honestly though, if you are suffering from low confidence and self-worth issues, how do you not have the time to resolve this as quickly as you possibly can. It's likely the single most important factor causing suffering in your life and limiting you from being who you want to be and creating the life you want to live.
What is the title of the video about non-duality you mention? I don't see a video linked with a title that resembles the one you've referenced. Thanks
Here it is:
ruclips.net/video/4ehSGT3zVCA/видео.html
Hi i am a big fan and I thank you for this good content!))) but I have a question what was that voice in minute 20:47???
It's not a voice. It sounds like a truck driving by.
one additional comment here ... i associate value to what i can achieve not what i value. what do i do about that?
If you value achievement, it's not a problem unless you only value achievement and nothing else. You value experiences that are important to you. I'm sure there are more experiences that you value other than just achievement.
What can we do when our beliefs about ourselves are not aligned with our high-level values? For example if I value happiness but don't believe I am a happy person. Can I change that? How can I do it?
Yes, this is probably the most common problem for people who suffer but are otherwise mentally healthy. It's also the basis of everything I teach, which is based on my mentor Steve Adreas' Self-Concept Model. It's an entire training and like I said my coaches and I teach it if you're interested.
If you're not interested in learning the model but you want the transformation, I recommend coaching, which is also something I do as well. If you're interested you can email me at damon@selfconcept.com.
@@DamonCart You were very helpful in responding. I thought you also had a video in which you addressed this subject. I am interested in learning about the model and of course the transformation. I am doing my NPL certification and I think this subject will be taught soon. I will contact you if necessary. Thank you very much.
@@natashagallo3923 The Self-Concept Model won't be taught in your NLP training. No one else teaches it and I'm the only person Steve Andreas ever endorsed to teach it.
Can someone explain to me why babies and animals deserve love?
They don't actually, at least not in some empirical or universal sense. Good thing we don't need to deserve love to have it.
Impressive
Thank you
@damian cart , love your content brother , i am wondering if you have any advise on how to heal emasculation as a man with nlp ? any tips on where to start ect
First I would want to know how that's even possible to have your masculinity removed from you. Your masculinity can't be injured or taken away from you.
@@DamonCart i would say it’s not been removed but more so disowned since childhood due to being disrespected , my masculinity has been so disrespected , and abused and also more wounded masculinity if that makes sense, i’ve always been more a femenine man more than a masculine one
@@iamchannelll I wouldn't focus so much on trying to define yourself as masculine or feminine. If you have a disowned part of you then integrating that part using NLP would likely be very effective. A simple parts integration if the problem isn't traumatic. If it is traumatic, then Re-Imprinting would probably be the process for you.
Which nlp book would you suggest to a nlp beginner? When do you think is the best time to do the practitioner course/certification (i think this one is for beginners)?
Aleksandra Kotnik I tried for many years to find one. When I did the training I found out why. You learn it by doing it.
Now is always a good time : ) I have an online practitioner training if you're interested. As far as NLP books go, there's a lot of bad ones out there. Because NLP is so vast you might need to narrow down which part of NLP you want to focus on. Anything written by Steve or Connirae Andreas (and the ones they wrote together) are probably the best. However, don't start with Steve's 6 Blind Elephants Vol. 1 & 2. Put them on your list for later. They're quite advanced.
100% correct. You don't actually learn NLP from someone else. You learn it from your own experience when you practice it.
this one video is a coaching session for me ..
SUPER DIRECT
SUPER SIMPLE
SUPER EFFECTIVE
thank you damon
this is 26min video..
i wonder what you will say in 3 hours in a course ?
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it helpful. I invite you to join us next week for a free 3 hour course so you can find out what I will say.
@@DamonCart Sure man .
waiting on fire .
If talking to plants has an effect (as all things transcend language with energy) no way a baby will not be affected by negative words DIRECTED towards them. Not seeing it in the moment doesn’t mean the consequences cant be measured longterm. Also affirmations are a fancy word for thoughts and yes training yourself to control your focus is the foundation of both feeling better and experiencing life better so this is 26 minutes of coo-coo bananas talking
Preverbal babies are unaffected by negative words because they don't know what they are. If I said negative words to you in a language you don't understand, you wouldn't be affected by them. Babies do respond to tonality so if you said positive words with a hostile tonality, which would they respond to? The meaning of the words or your tonality? The tonality of course because the words mean nothing to the baby. It's not "energy". The woo woo energy you're referring to has never been proven. There is no basis for it.
If you think what I have to say about affirmations is coo-coo bananas talking, especially after what you wrote before it, why don't we debate this on a live stream? Then you can show off your wisdom and you can show people how coo-coo bananas I am. Deal?
Make a course please on hypnotism and nlp
I have a few courses. What would you like to learn?
@@DamonCart everything about hypnotism and changing beliefs
@Damon Cart I got half way through your self concept assessment test than started spamming random answers bc I just wanted to see what was on the other side
@@OFFICALMENOFCULTURE While I've studied hypnosis and use it from time to time, I don't teach it. My training program is about changing beliefs, more specifically the biggest belief you have for which all beliefs come from.
I don't see how spamming the assessment was helpful to you.
I've watched a lot of videos like this and have tried many techniques but I still can't help but feel worthless/useless/burdensome :/
It took me a few years of working on it to finally free myself from those feelings. Get started now. Make it a regular practice. You will get there. I have group coaching for this as well.
What do you want to tell about the delusion / negative thoughts / energy / schizophrenia / paranoid-/schizo / autism-/ behaviour / paranoia / lack of confidence etc..
That's too much for me to answer here. Do you have a specific question?
Are these NLP techniques?
Yes
Why is my guy on the floor? The rug looks comfy.
Why not?
Has anyone told you that you sound like Raymond Romano?
No, that's a first.
16:26 Should you also stop comparing others; people-to-people? We make value judgments in our brains as well so I don’t know how this would work although I would want it to. In the book “your brain at work”, it talked about how having a high ranking makes it release very positive chemicals. How status is super ingrained in us (even animals having pecking orders). It would be a lie if we say we don’t instantly & unconsciously place people to a different caliber based on our first 5 second impressions of them. By the age of 3, us humans already have a sense of the unspoken pecking order in our social standing.
The question is does this really serve you? Does it serve you to compare people to other people? It might in some situations, but one way that it will never serve you is to compare yourself to others or others to others by worth of existence. It's impossible to measure that. It's impossible to measure whether or not someone is better than you as a person. You can measure whether someone is better at a particular skill for example. In many cases that can be measured. But to think in terms of who is more or less worthy first of all is based on an erroneous assumption and secondly it's going to limit you.
In war, one side has to make the other seem unworthy of existing in order to justify killing them unless it's self-defense. When in the history of mankind has this kind of thinking ever served us? Never.
Also, we're not slaves to our instincts. Humans have conscious awareness which enables us to reflect on our instincts and decide whether or not going with our instincts is good for us and for others. We should utilize that rather than just give in to our every instinct.
I actually appreciate you setting the stage instead of giving into the instant gratification of people only wanting the exercises up front. My favorite NLP channel, thank you for sharing this knowledge.
You're so welcome! I see you have a channel too with over 1,000 subscribers. Keep going! The first 1,000 is the hardest. It's a lot of work but it will pay off if you stick with it.
Life Mastery Gym There are some exhausting days for sure but we must be reminded of our purpose of spreading useful knowledge. I’m definitely a veteran of delayed gratification 😂
@@TheDatingDocTV indeed!
Hi .. How can i attend your online class
Email Maggy at maggy@selfconcept.com and let her know you're interested. She will help you out.
@@DamonCart Thank you
I don't understand, how do I apply this to myself?
There's a lot that goes into this work, but for now, if you experience feelings of low self-worth, remind yourself that there's no such thing. Notice if the feelings are coming from comparing yourself to others. If so, stop doing that. Comparing yourself to others if of no benefit to you. Think of something you enjoy doing and go do it.
@@DamonCart Hi Damon, thank you for all this helpful information. What if your self worth is being affected by the way you are being treated negatively by others? How do you change that especially if it's a pattern?
@@jema09 Shift your focus away from validating your worth by the opinions of others. You don't control what other people think. You'll never be able to please everyone. There will always be people, no matter how good of a person you are, who will judge you and think negatively of you. It makes no sense to look to others for your self-worth. It will always make you feel anxious and insecure. What makes you happy? What fulfills you and makes you feel satisfied with yourself, your life, and your relationships. Put your attention there and do those things. Treat what other people say as just feedback which only you can determine if it's useful or not. If it is, incorporate it. If it's not, throw it out. If someone is treating you negatively it usually has more to do with how they feel about themselves than what they think about you. So don't treat what they say about you as being true unless it is. If it is true, instead of taking it personal, change it to your liking.
@@DamonCart Thank you so much for this detailed explanation !! I will have to put this into practice in my life. I am new to NLP and I find your videos to be very informative. Stay blessed😅
I don’t fully understand the value thing
What's unclear?
4:20-
"Don't credit me, credit him."
NLP negative command.
What are you suggesting that I'm suggesting?
what if i compare myself to my past?
That's a good question. This can be helpful as long as you don't frame it as being better or worse than your past self. If you look back to your past self and realize you had a skill or mindset that worked really well for you that you no longer incorporate, then this can be good for reconnecting with it. However, if you think in terms of self-worth, you're once again locked into the duality I mention in the video.
@@DamonCart I see, I think it is the second case that relates to me in this case. I have heard of "non-valuing" as a sort of meditation-practice, would you say that it is the same thing as non-duality? That is to say, if I would stop valuing things, would my suffering then stop?
@@hagerstrom94 no non-valuing is not the same as non-duality. Non-duality is at the heart of most Eastern religions and philosophies like Zen Buddhism and Hinduism. It's the approach of looking at the truth of who you are by understanding you are not separate from anything.
You are going to value things, people, and experiences. It's in your nature. Trying to not value is valuing not valuing. You can't escape valuing and there's no reason to try to stop valuing. Valuing is the source of finding fulfillment.
@@DamonCart Right, okay. Thanks for your answer :)
I don't relate to the exercice because I do not 'Talk in my head, I don't make inner sentences , it's just a feeling of low worth but it's never phrased in my mind so I can't do this baby exercice isn't really helpfull to me, I don't say to myself I don't deserve love, I just tend to feel things in certain circonstances like I'm not good enought
Feelings don't appear from nothing. The feeling is always a response to some sensory input that is usually unconscious, which is why you think you just have feelings sometimes without cause. There is a cause. It might not be self-talk. It might be something you're seeing like a memory.
Self-esteem, the root of OCD
How so?
@@DamonCart The belief of not being enough and not having control over certain situations causes the compulsion to use something else as a cover up for anxiety. OCD is not anxiety, but sits ontop of it. When a person has it and doesn't do the compulsion when something that would trigger it arrises, anxiety arises, unless the person is holding a belief system that undoes all of it
Even a cockaroach does not give an F about how good or how bad it might be looking, but we do! The comparison trap happens by itself. I know it's bad to compare and I can say it a million times. I know it's bad to compare and I don't want to. But the comparison happens by itself as soon as I see someone "better" than me. I guess, it is subconscious/automatic. I try to distract myself -and it is soooo hard to do...
When you catch yourself doing it, stop. Don't beat yourself up about it. It is normal. Just catch it and redirect.
Excellent!
Thank you
❤
it is the way the women think "I am 10" - you should treat me like celebrity... then she finishes with cats ...
THe thing you say Damon, don`t work in dating. Because in dating there are OTHER PEOPLE and not you judge/decide are you attracitve for them or not. But THEY do it. And THEY COMPARE YOU to other people.
What specifically did I that say doesn't work in dating?
@@DamonCart Saying to yourself what is your value. Because you are not the one who judges it, but the girl, comparing to SMV of OTHER GUYS.
@ this isn't a video necessarily about getting more dates. I have done videos on that topic so you can search them.
What you're talking about is how to display your value to a woman so she sees you as valuable. This video is about connecting with your value which will give you greater confidence and self-esteem.
In general, people perceive confident people with high self-esteem as high value. Confidence and self-esteem is very attractive. Become more authentically confident and you will become more attractive. This doesn't mean women will throw themselves at your feet. However, it's a lot easier to meet and date women when you're confident.
Not liking the first words you started off with. Never AGAIN SUFFER WITH LOW SELF WORTH. that should be reworded so only mind absorbs positive words. I.e ALWAYS FEEL HIGH SELF WORTH!
No it shouldn't be reworded because this is my video and I worded it the way I thought best. You are free to make your own videos and word the titles the way you think they should be worded. I won't tell you how to word your titles.
@@DamonCart interesting response, maybe you are unaware of the importance of Inducing positive word framing in NLP?
@@anitacarrier9386 if you want to challenge me on my NLP knowledge and ability, challenge accepted.
If you're a coach, you would know that when you ask people what they want, most often they will tell you what they don't want. It's your job as a coach to reorient them toward the positive, which is what I think you're getting at. However, nothing happens without rapport, which means you have to meet the client where they are first before you can lead them. It's called pacing and leading.
The title of this video is a form of pacing. It's my way of meeting the audience where they likely are so they connect with it and watch the video. In the video, I direct the viewers attention to what they need to focus on rather than focusing on what they don't want.
@@DamonCart i find your response somewhat defensive, but thats fine, guess I'm just beyond that stage, meeting me where I'm at is no negative input at all. But I understand the reasoning.
@@anitacarrier9386 I just think it's absurd when people try to school me on NLP and creating RUclips videos who don't have experience with either.
Imagining that I am saying such a thing to an imaginary baby brings out some emotions even though I know it is absurd and I can understand the whole idea behind this exercise. Yes it serves its purpose.
But saying the same thing to an innocent baby is not going to be the same because the baby will absorb the vibration created in the body when someone is speaking such a thing. This is my opinion.
But thanks I got the message
What vibration are you referring to? To a baby, the words are meaningless. They don't carry any vibration. The baby would only be able to respond to someone else's emotions. For example, if someone was saying mean things to a baby with an angry tone, the words are still meaningless, but the emotion would probably induce fear in the baby.
You just said what I meant.
Oh no! All the money I ve spent on NLP classes goes to trash 🤦🏼♀️ after watching this
All is not lost. When I met my mentor, he corrected me on a lot of problems in NLP that was taught to me by my first teachers, but even still, I had a basic foundation and that made easier.
@@DamonCart Can I get a certificate from you ?
@@genchilal yes you can but it will take some time and a lot of effort. I've only given one so far, but there's a handful of people I'm training. Go here to get started: selfconcept.com/pages/self-concept-optimization
It doesn’t work for me . Talking to a dog or a baby has nothing to do with the real life .
You're missing the point. It's the absurdity of saying these things to a baby or a dog. When you realize that, you'll realize to treat yourself the same way makes not sense. You were once a baby who came into the world, not deserving anything but also not undeserving. There was no scale to measure your worth then and there isn't one now and there never will be.
Rule number 1 Get enough sleep
Rule number 2 Get good sleep
Rule number 3 Read rule number 1 again.