Why Avoidants Will Push You Away
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- Why avoidants will push you away. Discover the reasons behind avoidants pushing you away in romantic relationships. Learn how attachment styles play a crucial role in shaping the dynamics of your interactions. Subscribe now to gain valuable insights on navigating relationships with avoidant partners!
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This guy got played... This woman was STILL LIVING with her husband, with no plans to move out. There was no way she was going to get a divorce to be with a 20-something. When she was done having fun with her 'boy toy', that's when she started coming up with excuses to distance herself, in the hopes that he would get the hint and go away. When he instead reacted by trying to hold on tighter and bothering her at work, it forced her to get more firm in her rejection of him. Yes, he had feelings for her, but he has to understand that he never had a chance with this woman, and this relationship was always going to play out the way it did, i.e. he's alone, and she's still comfortably married and living in the marital home
Lol...... Victoria's reactions to a bad decision by someone just makes me cackle......so funny but you can tell she cares. Love it
Many beautiful things cannot be seen or touched; they are felt with the heart. What you've done for me is one of them, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤
My situation is confusing because my boyfriend didn’t act like an avoidant. He talked about marrying me, was very touchy feely and affectionate and wanted to be close to me all the time. But he didn’t communicate his feelings to me. I know attachment is a spectrum but he is just such an enigma and so confusing and unpredictable. We didn’t argue or bicker more than 2 or three times in an entire 9 month relationship! He is avoidant for sure because of childhood trauma but doesn’t act like one in any way other than his ability to communicate and share his feelings. The breakup was completely out of the blue and shocking!
I understand your pain and confusion. I was in a 7 year long distance, with my ex and knew eachother for 10 years. We openly talked about marriage, kids. Future ( she even initiated some of those conversations) and once the opportunity came up to make those talks reality. She pulls the rug and leaves, thinking about it for about a week. Leaves but still asked to be friends, I'd assume trying to have her cake and eat it too. It's been 4 months in no contact. Insanely confusing still, and equally as painful.
“..other than his ability to communicate and share his feelings, the breakup was out of the blue”.. erm that’s textbook avoidant. They often seem like they act out of the blue bc they don’t communicate and share their feelings… you have no idea what was going on inside him.
@@BB25_25 yeah that part is textbook avoidant. That’s how I know he’s avoidant. The point was he had a lot of other traits that were not in line with avoidant. He was there for me. He was not high maintenance. He spoke often about commitment until his mental health started to suffer. He didn’t push away from closeness and was touchy feely and affectionate. He never voiced wanting his space and always invited me over and said he missed me and wanted me back whenever I was gone. He opened up about some things and not others. Although he didn’t open up to me he didn’t shy away and was supportive when I opened up. He was not defensive. He was always loving. His literal only avoidant trait was the difficulty he had in communicating the extent to which he was struggling with the people around him. And it wasn’t just with me either, he would t share his struggles in his mental health with his family or friends either.
Craig mentions that avoidant attachers can emotionally catfish us into thinking they are secure and affectionate (which they really are genuinely those things) until they get triggered. I believed my ex was secure in her attachment until stress of life started spilling in to her life. Then she would leave out of the blue (happened 3 times in our 1 and a half years together).
@@matthewray5343 that sounds like exactly what happened with my ex.
I agree he should be respecting her boundaries and listening to her that is so important whether this was a man or a woman you need to show that respect
Let’s be honest here. He was a rebound. And she’s probably working things out with her husband. Or just didn’t take things serious because he was a lot younger.
Yep. Actual story.
She was cheating on her husband. He was an affair partner.
Too young, I’m in a situation like this, younger men bothering me, has nothing to do with my avoidance, he’s obviously anxious
@@ld921 They see you as an easy lay. Dudes in their 20's that can't pull girls in their 20's reach out to women in their 30's and 40's because women in their 30's & 40's are easier to get into bed.
Wonderful work Victoria and Craig. This was a very relatable telling of a typical anxious personality style trying to hold onto someone with an avoidant personality. It truly does demonstrate that one who is anxious really needs to focus on regulating themselves emotionally. This is most important when facing adversity from someone who is so avoidant that space is the only thing that can hold the relationship together. Scary, though. Especially for the one who is anxious.
Aww...My Mom and Dad are Gen and Jerry. Made me smile. They were married over 50 years until he passed away. Your channel is wonderfully insightful btw. Ty! ❤
Your videos are helping me get through life. Honestly been watching for a few years now and thanks Craig & Victoria for all your information.
I was totally taken advantage of by an older woman when I was 29.
Loved every minute of it.
She's trying to get rid of him
A little harsh on the person writing in. I mean, yeah he was an idiot. But don’t we all make stupid mistakes when we’re suffering from a broken heart?
Then we need the correction that wises us up. A harder lesson is better remembered than a soft message.
Sounds like she wanted to have a love affair to feel good and then that love affair became a chore
About once a week is better and even then maybe only three times a month especially if it seems good you want to take the time and you want them to miss you in between
23:50 - 24:10 Omg I know exactly who Craig’s talking about 😂😂😂💀💀
Lmfao this was hilarious
Who is it?
@@thewanderer2041Ben Baker
Im in a very sad place me and my long distance partner broke up 7 times i was this guy she was a avoident only wanted to talk only once a week was not enough for me i ask every day what was she doing i need more i was warried she was cheating i needed closness i never new nothing about attachment we have brocken up again same issue i was so insecure i begged she came back ,but this time i need to leave her alone and up to her to come back .
I never new abbut this im getting help
I hope and pray i am going back in 4 months to her country she knows im coming but i am not going to rach out if she is there she is there .
I beleave 6 months is enough .
I beleave if people knew about these attachment they coukd talk and work through this instead of braking up .
I hope its not to late ...
Craig, I been watching your videos and they have been so helpful with dealing with my break up. I don't know if you're going to see this but can you do a video about emotionally checking out in a relationship. Does it make a difference if you do no contact? Thanks!!!
Yes not having more time with your plus knowing she even cares more for him
My avoidant spouse left our marriage. I’ve been working on myself for 8 months now and haven’t heard a word.
My ex worked with Apple. When she broke up with me I had the same thought. I need an IPhone. But then I caught myself. "Do I? Do I really?"'
I've been happy w my pixel so far
@@roseclimbpaintcont I've heard pretty good things about the Pixel. Seems like a solid peace of tech.
Excellent video…thanks you👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👍🏻🙏🏻💫
Coach Craig, my avoidant ex added me on his close friend list story now! Should I like if he adds something to it again? To give him a little sign I am here and he can reach out or do I stay silent? He's been breadcrumbing for a while, he added a sad song on his story, and also a heart on my story.
No. A real man will tell you straight up that he wants to be with you.
Dear Coach Craig, My name is Ken. And a couple of months ago I purchased the workbooks vol.6 - 10. I was doing this yesterday. But today I couldn't. It said I needed a password to unlock it. Could you please send me the password so I can continue my healing journey?
We don’t have any password. It would be something coming from your device! Nothing on our end!
@@CoachCraigKenneth Thanks coach Craig!
That's why it's never appropriate to have an affair with someone you work with because if it doesn't work out you're stuck with that person unless of course you get fired or they get fired
Gosh, at least the avoidant I'm dating has been divorced for over a year.😂 Sounds like a nightmare.
When you're at work you're at work and only work should be talked about or done
Coach Craig, I am interested in ordering the creative healing course. How would I get the course after making the order?
You log in through the website
Some people's frontal lobe isn't fully developed! 😂
Time to go
What happened to Gertrude?
She's a spinster, still dreaming, still desperate. In fact, so much that she ends every prayer with "Aman".
She had a name change
Well not necessarily if he went to her right after she said no the next day maybe that's how they hooked up the first time having sex in the office
Poor guy...walk away, she got in too deep and wants out.
I would rather date a former schoolmate.
Fear of vulnerability is the sin of PRIDE