15 years later, Uwe Boll is quietly sipping on a coffee while minding his own business, when he is suddenly startled by an an incorporeal voice that roars: *UWE WINS. FATALITY.*
Many people don't know this but the reason Lowtax died is because he got hit so hard here that he was basically dead, it only finished killing him 15 years later.
Lowtax fights like every goon from SA would fight, comes out jumping around thinking it's funny, gets his shit pushed in and goes to cry about on his hugbox forum.
@@testaccount8921 Your account doesnt even have a prof pic yet you use whatever braincells in your head to concoct some horse shit one liner. You are what is wrong with the internet. XD @BitchmadeTestaccount you are stupid. XD
Overall, I don’t like how Uwe set up a boxing match as an excuse to beat up people for insulting his movies, but if there was anyone who deserved to get beaten to a pulp, it was Lowtex.
@@VincentVega93 literally the same thing uwe Boll was doing to lowtax He's selling the forums because noone there wants to financially support a wifebeater
This video is the reason why I never used Something Awful. Richard Kyanka only demonstrated to the public that not only was he a terrible boxer, but he was also a sore loser, lying to the very end that Boll was going to pull his punches and that it was a joke match. When you willingly, yes, WILLINGLY join a boxing match and try to box while lacking any experience in boxing or any martial arts training, you deserve to be knocked out. Even if the punches are thrown by Uwe Boll. I was around 8-9 years old when I found this video on RUclips back in 2006/07. And it's still one of my favourite videos of this long-gone period of online shenanigans. Also, it later transpired that Kyanka was chosen first because of his arrogance when writing his review on Alone in the Dark. Particularly when he called Boll a "necrophile" and a "child molester". It was my first exposure to an internet-tough guy getting his arse beaten out. And it also stands as a precursor to all the Logan Paul vs KSI boxing matches we see advertised on RUclips and Twitter today.
how mordantly humiliating for Lowtax. i remember this guy. i _totally_ remember _Something Awful._ far, FAR ahead of the pack in terms of hyper-ironic tone and content focus. _way_ ahead of the curve, and probably incredibly influential. it's possible that Lowtax's writing in _Something Awful_ had as much to do with the current tone of RUclips™ as _The Simpsons._ yes, seriously. go check yourself. he was on _Troll 2_ before ANYBODY was on _Troll 2._ fact. but still . . . how you're supposed to keep a detached, hip condescension over the man who _literally_ turned you into a stumbling, sarcastic nincompoop is far beyond the likes of even "Lowtax" Kyanka. this was his Waterloo; this was that website's Mighty Turks Election 2016 Meltdown - the point after which nobody could _really_ take them or it seriously again. the turning of the tide, and a _critically_ poor decision on Kyanka's part. he goes in mugging and dancing all "hilariously," then half a minute later he's on the floor shaking and his wife is suddenly screaming on his behalf about how unfair it is. you can't recover from this. it's a terrifying thing to see. credibility suicide. the ONE TIME Uwe Boll _absolutely_ won in the court of popular opinion. a devastating win.
@@Gigantic_homo dilate. He's right. Lowtax and his goons took a big hit from this event. People we're saying that Lowtax would win since he's younger and in better shape. The whole thing was a mess.
That fight was sad yet hilarious at the same time. Uwe Boll: "TALK SHIT ABOUT MY MOVIES, WILL YOU? LEFT CROSS! YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH NOW, YOU CANDY-ASS FILM CRITIC! RIGHT CROSS!"
williamthebrit you are a mor-on. He lied to the critic, this was suppose to be a pr stunt, but he's accualty punching. Why don't you go sit in the corner and let the men handle this.
@R D Uwe Boll is a manlet lmao. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Except, he would decline the fight from any of us who actually have cage or ring experience.. Or even training, period. He declined to fight one of the critics when he learned that the kid had amateur boxing experience if I recall correctly. Anyway, he drops his hands every time he throws a punch... even a jab. Someone in shape with like 2 months of boxing experience would KO him, especially a southpaw
Actually, I honestly like Uwe for this. Something Awful is basically a website filled with people who need to be handed a beating post-highschool. At least one of their editors finally recieved a much needed one.
@fakedick , No, not really. When all of this happened, the people who were working for Uwe Boll made it a point to ask anyone who volunteered if they had any experience with boxing or fighting in general. Not surprisingly, those who did, were turned down with the exception of one person, who apparently was under the impression it was supposed to be fake.
Xajora I would, then when he would go for his full bodied left hook I'd punch his nose through his brain, disabling an already disabled director fucker.
Lowtax should have banned the left jab instead of making it look like some kind of powerhouse lead. Ringside guy was perceptive pointing out the only reason Kyanka didn't eat a big right hand (only once, I think) was coz he was going down from the jabs. Smart move. Some things you just save in the "Could Have Been Worse" Bin. And then don't look back to question if that's exactly true.
People in these comments are so unbelievably stupid, years ago or not. An insecure director challenges people to fight him at something he's trained in for years, and people are applauding that? He was so incredibly pathetic to have to do something like this, and in my opinion Lowtax made him look like an absolute idiot by not taking it seriously for even a moment. So the guy got beaten up, who cares? Lowtax went home feeling unchanged, Uwe went home feeling better about himself for about an hour before he probably went back to beating his wife or something.
You're not doing a very good job of making fun of me. Also, I'm neither a WoW addict nor a furry. But even if I was I'd still be a lot less pathetic than an SA goon.
@SenseiDonGraham I found Rampage to be fairly original if somewhat conflicted and the ending was a bit meh, but other than that well done. The guy can do good work. He just really needs to focus.
FYI homies Lowtax didn't go into this expecting to win. He's not a boxer, he's a writer/comedian/business man. Similarly Uwe Boll is mastering boxing because he hasn't gotten respect for his films.
Also, here's a quote from Ben Kuchera of Kotaku describing Kyanka's loss for future prosperity: "Guys, c'mon. Is this surprising? Uwe Boll is an actual, trained boxer, and after he watched the final cut of Alone in the Dark he actually decided to release it. This guy is pure evil, distilled in an untalented director's body. You couldn't pay me enough to get in the ring with a creature like that; you were lucky to get away with your life and sanity. All this hubbub was for a movie based on the game Postal, and you're surprised that after you agreed to box him, then put on equipment and got in the ring, he punched you? Hard? That's your main complaint? If I'm going to box someone who knows what he's doing, I'm going to be damned sure I know what I'm doing before I get into the ring. The whole thing was set up to get some footage of Uwe Boll beating people up. You give him some footage, he beats on you because he's mad at you for making fun of his movies, and you agreed to it. I guess it was worth the publicity for some critics to take some shots in the face, and to be fair I did laugh at the video, but I also paid to see Jackass 2 this weekend. I find others hurting themselves for my amusement to be the height of wit."
@flaksucks It says something about Lowtax's intelligence and need for attention that he got in the ring with a vindictive meathead who obviously hates critics and knows how to box. There is no way to spin this into a win for Lowtax, he looks terrible in the fight and the interview afterwards.
Lovely to watch the president of the 'I'm so socially desperate I paid 10 bucks to associate with the worst possible friends' club put in his place but sadly it's not that easy to cure internet cancer.
@terminx12 An experienced boxer fights an internet administrator showing that people who specialize in something can beat people that don't specialize in something. Stop the presses! Next you'll be telling me that lowtax could probably beat Uwe Boll at Unreal Tournament. Or making movies.
I know it's been said before, but I'm going to say it again: Uwe Boll should have been a boxer instead of a director. I don't understand how he can stand back, look at the finished product of one of his movies and say, "Perfect! I don't need to polish that at all!". He must be a clinical egomaniac too think that! Oh well... I can't stop him from making horrible movies...
***** You know what that phrase means and it doesn't mean I should fight Uwe Boll. It means 'don't be two-faced'. There is nothing two-faced about calling Uwe a shitty filmmaker who makes shitty films.
Lowtax: "this was supposed to be an exhibition match!"
Uwe : "If he dies he dies"
he played the long game
This joke aged poorly
holy shit man
15 years later, Uwe Boll is quietly sipping on a coffee while minding his own business, when he is suddenly startled by an an incorporeal voice that roars: *UWE WINS. FATALITY.*
@@MartyMacFry More like brilliantly XD
If Lowtax had pictured his wife he would've won.
"What're you gonna do, punch me?" ~Man who was punched
uwe boll gave him the ancient karate death punch at the end there, guaranteeing his death in the distant future. very sad, very Sad!
Many people don't know this but the reason Lowtax died is because he got hit so hard here that he was basically dead, it only finished killing him 15 years later.
shitty joke, but who knows if this fight was enough to give him CTE
The 69-point palm exploding marriage technique. If executed correctly, the target will die after slapping five wives or girlfriends.
Bro lowtax really died?😢
@@reeyees50yea the nasty POS ate a bullet and everybody laughed
@@reeyees50 he committed suicide after so many problems I won't even go into it. Still not sure how I feel about it.
Wow, this Punch-Out!! movie is the best video game film of all time. Boll finally created a masterpiece.
Gonna need more than 10 bux to deal with those head injuries, Lowtax.
The only funny thing involving Lowtax that I've ever seen.
Lowtax fights like every goon from SA would fight, comes out jumping around thinking it's funny, gets his shit pushed in and goes to cry about on his hugbox forum.
down syndrome bukkake look up owe bullshit before you spit your own fool.
@@mccool132 fail
@@testaccount8921 Your account doesnt even have a prof pic yet you use whatever braincells in your head to concoct some horse shit one liner. You are what is wrong with the internet. XD @BitchmadeTestaccount you are stupid. XD
he got pwned plain and simple
Uwe dabbing on Lowtax grave
To put things into perspective:
Uwe Bill made a bunch of movies that are generally considered bad
Lowtax is a spousal abuser
To think Uwe was the hero this whole time...
Uwe is a madman but I'm rooting for him here definitely
You mean the only person lowtax can beat is his wife?
@@aarrcchhoonntt and himself
Overall, I don’t like how Uwe set up a boxing match as an excuse to beat up people for insulting his movies, but if there was anyone who deserved to get beaten to a pulp, it was Lowtex.
Lowtax thought that Uwe Boll wasn't really going to fight him, so he decided to try and sue him after this.
He was told the match was for publicity.
KommissarReb When he walked into the ring wtf did he expect?!
Goobli bloo!
He claimed that Uwe told him that he wasn't _really_ going to fight him. But I wasn't there so idk
Also, this video is really old; 2006?!
KommissarReb It's funny because Uwe Boll then backed down from fighting Seanbaby because he had serious training.
Antiform Sounds like Uwe has some serious ethics issues XD
The lag caught up with him
the only time lowtax was actually funny
This comment needs a million upvotes.
God I hated him and his moronic followers
Second. The first was the comment he made criticizing uwe to piss him off for this fight.
You're not wrong, he's a wifebeating piece of shit.
This is what happens you meet one the people you constantly shit-talk on the Internet.
Uwe Boll finally got his well deserved W
Uwe Boll sure made history
First his nice Postal movie and then this
"Only if blocking punches with your face is actually a secret technique to win a boxing match."
Face to fist style, how d'ya like it?
This is a perfect metaphor for what life is doing to Lowtax right now.
God, I hate that smug prick, and I hate goons.
Or what lowtax was doing to his wife
@@Feasco What was he doing to his wife?
@@VincentVega93 literally the same thing uwe Boll was doing to lowtax
He's selling the forums because noone there wants to financially support a wifebeater
@@Feasco The left eats their own. Fuck Lowtax. Pseudointellectual prick.
Needed a woman in the ring for Kyanka to chance
If only this could happen to every goon
smoking that lowtax pack
Mr Boll's one and only service to the the Mankind.
He sticks his arms up like it’s the 1800s.
He was told it wasn’t going to be a real match, Uwe Boll lied to him.
Uwe Boll You're Winner! 2:04
love the Big Rigs reference
another win for uwe boll today
(USER WAS BANNED FOR KICKING MY ASS)
It's been ten years and this is still the only funny joke here against that silliest of billies Lowtax
heh
once a loser always a loser #TAXPACK
"fought like a man"
"kept his honour."
what the fuck is this medieval england
This video is the reason why I never used Something Awful. Richard Kyanka only demonstrated to the public that not only was he a terrible boxer, but he was also a sore loser, lying to the very end that Boll was going to pull his punches and that it was a joke match. When you willingly, yes, WILLINGLY join a boxing match and try to box while lacking any experience in boxing or any martial arts training, you deserve to be knocked out. Even if the punches are thrown by Uwe Boll.
I was around 8-9 years old when I found this video on RUclips back in 2006/07. And it's still one of my favourite videos of this long-gone period of online shenanigans.
Also, it later transpired that Kyanka was chosen first because of his arrogance when writing his review on Alone in the Dark. Particularly when he called Boll a "necrophile" and a "child molester". It was my first exposure to an internet-tough guy getting his arse beaten out. And it also stands as a precursor to all the Logan Paul vs KSI boxing matches we see advertised on RUclips and Twitter today.
poasting in an epic bread
what’s this mean?
@@coolman2805 something really, really stupid. don't worry about it
Lowtax was completely and utterly humiliated. LOVE IT.
Lowtax is clearly the superior fighter.
lowtax beats women
Not any more lol
haha Uwe just grows and grows on me after all the wacky antics he's doing.
how mordantly humiliating for Lowtax. i remember this guy. i _totally_ remember _Something Awful._ far, FAR ahead of the pack in terms of hyper-ironic tone and content focus. _way_ ahead of the curve, and probably incredibly influential. it's possible that Lowtax's writing in _Something Awful_ had as much to do with the current tone of RUclips™ as _The Simpsons._ yes, seriously. go check yourself. he was on _Troll 2_ before ANYBODY was on _Troll 2._ fact.
but still . . . how you're supposed to keep a detached, hip condescension over the man who _literally_ turned you into a stumbling, sarcastic nincompoop is far beyond the likes of even "Lowtax" Kyanka. this was his Waterloo; this was that website's Mighty Turks Election 2016 Meltdown - the point after which nobody could _really_ take them or it seriously again.
the turning of the tide, and a _critically_ poor decision on Kyanka's part. he goes in mugging and dancing all "hilariously," then half a minute later he's on the floor shaking and his wife is suddenly screaming on his behalf about how unfair it is. you can't recover from this. it's a terrifying thing to see. credibility suicide. the ONE TIME Uwe Boll _absolutely_ won in the court of popular opinion. a devastating win.
man shut the fuck up
@@Gigantic_homo dilate. He's right. Lowtax and his goons took a big hit from this event. People we're saying that Lowtax would win since he's younger and in better shape. The whole thing was a mess.
slaw golem
no u
Lowtax was never funny. The forums were a happy accident and were great despite him.
Grammar: Always capitalize the first word of a sentence.
Hubert Cross: nah.
That fight was sad yet hilarious at the same time.
Uwe Boll: "TALK SHIT ABOUT MY MOVIES, WILL YOU? LEFT CROSS! YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH NOW, YOU CANDY-ASS FILM CRITIC! RIGHT CROSS!"
Not so tough without his keyboard.
williamthebrit you are a mor-on. He lied to the critic, this was suppose to be a pr stunt, but he's accualty punching. Why don't you go sit in the corner and let the men handle this.
>Schwartz
OY VEY!
@R D Uwe Boll is a manlet lmao. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Except, he would decline the fight from any of us who actually have cage or ring experience.. Or even training, period. He declined to fight one of the critics when he learned that the kid had amateur boxing experience if I recall correctly. Anyway, he drops his hands every time he throws a punch... even a jab. Someone in shape with like 2 months of boxing experience would KO him, especially a southpaw
This is the best thing Uwe Boll ever put to film
"seems to be dancing around like this is some sort of joke"
Uh.. yeah, because it is.
rip lol jk
Uwe's best movie :-)
Actually, I honestly like Uwe for this. Something Awful is basically a website filled with people who need to be handed a beating post-highschool. At least one of their editors finally recieved a much needed one.
How does it feel writing that comment 14 years before Lowtax's fate?
You're absolutely not wrong OP.
And yet he refused to box Seanbaby (the original caustic critic) because Seanbaby has experience training Muay Thai under Master Toddy. Huh.
How am I only now finding out this ever happend?
Hahaha. Well, he did step in the ring. Can't blame Uwe for pounding his skull in.
I can't believe this actually happened. I want him to fight moot and jimbo wales next.
The original creator clash
@fakedick ,
No, not really. When all of this happened, the people who were working for Uwe Boll made it a point to ask anyone who volunteered if they had any experience with boxing or fighting in general. Not surprisingly, those who did, were turned down with the exception of one person, who apparently was under the impression it was supposed to be fake.
this guy got a canadian accent out of nowhere wtf
also better boxer than director
Suddenly, Uwe is the new Orson Welles.
RIP in pepperoni, sweet prince. May the angels sing thee to thy rest.
At least he showed up, how many people here would actually walk into a ring with Boll?
+Xajora
$$$
How many?
Xajora I would, then when he would go for his full bodied left hook I'd punch his nose through his brain, disabling an already disabled director fucker.
Lol I'd do it for free. He's near my weight class too.
I would. Just because I think it would be cool, I don't care if I win or lose.
I mean, at least Lowtax understood the lateral movement. He just had no idea how to deal with Uwe.
he had one idea, getting knocked on his ass. not a great idea but hey
afaultytoaster well, what else would you expect from a guy who runs an internet forum fighting a trained boxer
All the 10bux in the world and you can't fight like anything but a girl.
+FeanorBR
Heh. "All der tenbux in der welt will not help you in der ring, Herr Kyanka." ~Uwe Boll
Damn, Punch-Out's come a long way.
Here from SomeOrdinaryPodcast.
Lowtax should have banned the left jab instead of making it look like some kind of powerhouse lead.
Ringside guy was perceptive pointing out the only reason Kyanka didn't eat a big right hand (only once, I think) was coz he was going down from the jabs. Smart move.
Some things you just save in the "Could Have Been Worse" Bin. And then don't look back to question if that's exactly true.
Well I'm not suprised Uwe Boll won, he is a semi pro boxer.
Uwe Boll's SA account is Black Baby Goku and Low Tax has a harder time keeping him banned than he did landing a punch on him.
People in these comments are so unbelievably stupid, years ago or not. An insecure director challenges people to fight him at something he's trained in for years, and people are applauding that? He was so incredibly pathetic to have to do something like this, and in my opinion Lowtax made him look like an absolute idiot by not taking it seriously for even a moment. So the guy got beaten up, who cares? Lowtax went home feeling unchanged, Uwe went home feeling better about himself for about an hour before he probably went back to beating his wife or something.
OH THE IRONY HAHAHAHAH
I wish I was one of those contestants. I would have made it my point to be be dqed for low blows. Would have been awesome.
Why am I reminded of Rocky 4 - "THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE...AN EXHIBITION!"
This is loving hilarious... what was this broadcasted on?
Richard thought this was a mock fight, which is why he didn't even try.
lowtax was still able to be funny in the interview so his brain is okay
"I'm live streaming all over the place"
*was* ok
I'm not qute sure who the hell uwe boll is, but it felt good seeing lowtax getting his clock cleaned
You step into a boxing ring you better be able to defend yourself.
You're not doing a very good job of making fun of me.
Also, I'm neither a WoW addict nor a furry. But even if I was I'd still be a lot less pathetic than an SA goon.
@SenseiDonGraham I found Rampage to be fairly original if somewhat conflicted and the ending was a bit meh, but other than that well done.
The guy can do good work. He just really needs to focus.
game grumps brought me here doe
I remember hearing about the fight but never saw it
I think it's pretty awesome how Uwe played the smartasses. Pretty hilarious, too.
FYI homies Lowtax didn't go into this expecting to win. He's not a boxer, he's a writer/comedian/business man. Similarly Uwe Boll is mastering boxing because he hasn't gotten respect for his films.
Now he's a dead man lol
He's taller, but Boll certainly outweighs him.
Also, here's a quote from Ben Kuchera of Kotaku describing Kyanka's loss for future prosperity: "Guys, c'mon. Is this surprising? Uwe Boll is an actual, trained boxer, and after he watched the final cut of Alone in the Dark he actually decided to release it. This guy is pure evil, distilled in an untalented director's body. You couldn't pay me enough to get in the ring with a creature like that; you were lucky to get away with your life and sanity. All this hubbub was for a movie based on the game Postal, and you're surprised that after you agreed to box him, then put on equipment and got in the ring, he punched you? Hard? That's your main complaint? If I'm going to box someone who knows what he's doing, I'm going to be damned sure I know what I'm doing before I get into the ring.
The whole thing was set up to get some footage of Uwe Boll beating people up. You give him some footage, he beats on you because he's mad at you for making fun of his movies, and you agreed to it. I guess it was worth the publicity for some critics to take some shots in the face, and to be fair I did laugh at the video, but I also paid to see Jackass 2 this weekend. I find others hurting themselves for my amusement to be the height of wit."
Never seen Postal, Rampage or Stoic have we?
not entirely sure he's a director buddy
@flaksucks It says something about Lowtax's intelligence and need for attention that he got in the ring with a vindictive meathead who obviously hates critics and knows how to box. There is no way to spin this into a win for Lowtax, he looks terrible in the fight and the interview afterwards.
Very funny, will watch again
Yep, being up someone who has absolutely no chance of defeating you is not being tough.
I fucking love Uwe Boll special his Postal Movie! Man i don't understand why everybody hates him?
Because his movies are god awful.
He uses stupid German money to produce awful movies. Postal was decent, though.
Even if you do take the beating they'll still call you names, there's no pleasing these people.
2:10 fucking lol'd hard.
Maybe if Ebaum stops stealing everyone's pictures, then maybe we'll take the watermark off.
Lovely to watch the president of the 'I'm so socially desperate I paid 10 bucks to associate with the worst possible friends' club put in his place but sadly it's not that easy to cure internet cancer.
imagine roger ebert in the fight
"That big left hook of Uwe Balls"! XD
@terminx12
An experienced boxer fights an internet administrator showing that people who specialize in something can beat people that don't specialize in something. Stop the presses!
Next you'll be telling me that lowtax could probably beat Uwe Boll at Unreal Tournament. Or making movies.
I know it's been said before, but I'm going to say it again: Uwe Boll should have been a boxer instead of a director. I don't understand how he can stand back, look at the finished product of one of his movies and say, "Perfect! I don't need to polish that at all!". He must be a clinical egomaniac too think that!
Oh well... I can't stop him from making horrible movies...
All in all well said. Uwe is acting like a big child.
Maybe, being a professional boxer, Boll should choose an equally capable opponent, instead of stacking the matches?
GRIFFITH, EISENSTEIN, TARKOVSKI, BERGMAN, FELLINI, HITCHCOCK, KUBRICK and B O L L UWE IS THE GREATEST DIRECTOR WHO EVER LIVED
Uwe boll is a fucking badass!!
I take it you haven't seen an Uwe Boll movie.
Winning against Lowtax
Uwe Boll 🤝 Eric Bauman
Did Lowtax just get dropped by a jab? A JAB! That's rather emarrassing.
Lowtax talks shit on Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll calls him out to Boxing
Lowtax gets the shit beat out of him
Uwe Boll teaches him to watch his mouth
Uwe Boll teaches him nothing. Uwe Boll is a shitty director with no sense of humor.
+LawnPygmy just fucking fight uwe, just fucking do it
Why the hell would I want to?
+LawnPygmy talk the talk. Walk the walk
***** You know what that phrase means and it doesn't mean I should fight Uwe Boll. It means 'don't be two-faced'. There is nothing two-faced about calling Uwe a shitty filmmaker who makes shitty films.
Yo I take it you haven't seen Doom House or you wouldn't be talking about the possibility that Kyanka's better at movies
Who's Bowe?
i think boll knows the world hates him and he's trying to become more notorious. People will still go to his movies just to see how bad they are.