God, Alain is just the best sort of weirdo there is. Who in their right mind would not just blast Sad Song to an audience, but go through the trouble of printing out the lyrics so that the entire congregation can join in? The absolute madman, I love it
And he was getting into whatever notes he was singing I just love it. Sings like me B4 I was taught how to use my voice. This guy's great and I'm only 2 talks in.
And when Nietzsche talks about worth especially when giving worth to suffering he proves he is not a pessimist. Nietzsche is a nay saying yes man. This talk also has very little to do with pessimistic philosophy but more of a glass half empty or half full type of thing.
+PsychOnLocko Ahhhh but PsychOnLocko, by assuming that you have to study philosophy by studying it in a dry and academic sense at a university, you almost completely negate all of what Allain is trying to teach you to teach yourself. However, if you were to respond to this comment without mention of any personal offence you may have felt in response to my criticism, and how that response might justify your negative premonitions regarding my obviously apparent hubris. If you were to instead respond with the reasons as to why you might think I am right and/or wrong, then there may be hope for you yet ;)
I think you're onto something there. But how's about we flesh out the idea that you, nor anyone, needs to study philosophy. I might be inclined to argue that if everyone did study, not it in a dry and stuffy sense, but in a way that championed the importance of original ideas, then a lot more good could be done. In which case we all would look back and realise that philosophy was indeed vital to the furtherance of civilisation. Do you think you agree? Oh and do you think I was trying to offend you? Because that was exactly what I was trying not to do. You may not believe me, but I'm hoping 'we', as in you and me and every other person consumed by feelings of offence, can drop our petty emotional responses and reflect on how big an impact philosophical thinking could actually have on the world, if thinkers like me and you endorsed it in the right way.
Yeah you're absolutely correct. I cannot but concede that I must seem an unbearably pretentious twat. But I put it to you that the manliest men have been philosophers. What School of Life proposes is the mainstreaming of Philosophy. I'm in no doubt that if/when Philosophy became the pass time of everyone, it would absolutely save lives. To use your examples; doctors, firefighters, nurses, teachers (what about Philosophy teachers Mark?), what if these professionals had an intricate understanding of themselves and of reality? Would that not shield them from the stresses and strains of their everyday lives? From PTSD? From lacking self-awareness or self assuredness? Consider it. Unless I missed the memo and a 'mark' of a real man consists of lecturing others on what they should be doing with their livelihoods online. Like. A. Boss...
This man is a genius... I’ve watched almost all of his videos, I’m a fan of his school of life, I’ve read a couple of his books and he has helped me a lot; since I started to listen to him I feel more mature and emotionally strong
I know! And surprisingly, too. You know what, I think he did as he said to do in the talk, and ingeniously prepared us for the worst at the start of it so that we felt very optimistic by the end of it.
That is a BRILLIANT name. Caffa Jake. Sounds like a Little Britain Character. Walliams would probably make it a member of the weight loss program, harrrr!!😋
@@Algernon7 contract is an inappropriate word. an appropriate word could be "pattern" or "structure" or "form", or many others. but contract implies that there is an agreed upon obligation, which is nonsensical in this context and enables delusion.
@Alex Michaudi it isn't. Everyone understands what he said. It's just a way of saying bad things are bound to happen. Btw, you didn't have a choice when you were born. The contract of life is written without your agreement in that sense!
This talk changed my life and I've been living by it for ten years... and I don't get depressed and life blows feel like wind gusts. Thank you so much.
"Optimism makes us angry as it is the root of expectation which leads to disappointment" ... man, couldn't agree more. Alai Botton is such remarkable man
I’m a Brit, moved to the US with my family and am now alone (they died), and I’m in AAAHHHH California. I can’t Stand the cult of positivity here; it’s oppressive. I Love this guy; I feel not completely mad and alone when I listen to him. 💕
I've stopped listening to radio, partially because music is crap now and partially because I am landsliding into becoming my grandmother. Lectures are my newusic. This gent is a global treasure.
One of the times I was the happiest was when I was participating in a contest with 10 other people and I soon realized I was the worst. It was so liberating because I was not worried about messing up, because I knew I couldn't possibly win no matter how well or how badly I did. From that point onward I was just having a good time and learning and I ended up in second to last place, which I did not expect.
What is so great about Alain De Button is that he is not a Tony Robbins. That he is a not a motivator. He is a eloquent, brilliant man that collectively inspires us to think about things that don’t feel good. That happens to be in a way that can change our life. He talks without fluff. This is why for the school of life channel he is out parent.
The hypocrisy of the "success" community is absolutely appalling. Glad someone else said it! Besides, many, many successful people will build their own success upon the very failure of others. Great presentation. I am sharing that.
@@gwho Well think about it. What in your life is build up upon exploitation of other people. Then think about success again. It might shine in another light, doesnt it.
I'm not so sure. A pessimistic can get consumed with analysing threats. Non existent threats. CONSUMED. I think everything has a balance. I have thought about this a good deal. I think Alain's teachings are useful in a lot of ways but he misses a few key points. I think you need a mix of pessimism and optimism. But it's important how one focusses each. You need to be optimistic as to your OWN innate abilities to achieve something. This needs to be worked on. The aim is create core self-belief. Know that you have blind spots and weaknesses (and try to understand what they are) but BELIEVE in your own ability to overcome them. You need to work on this core self-belief - it's not something that you 'lick off the ground' particularly if you had a childhood that was far from perfect. For instance I lack assertiveness. I know this, but I believe I can learn more about how to be more assertive and that I have the ability to improve in this area. Conversely you also need to be realistic as to how challenging things can be and how other people's interests can on occasion act against your own personal interests - it's nothing personal, just an incompatible aim, and that you may not on occasion get what you want. This creates MOTIVATION to achieve (realising how difficult things can on occasion be to achieve) and helps to guard against despair and create a healthy scepticism. But in that realism, optimistic in your own innate abilities and how they can be harnessed in overcoming such challenges.
It amaze me how Aain's charm can turn a topic as dark as pessimism to be very mesmerizing and cheerful. I'm glad to hear someone I deeply admire like Alain that its OKAY to be sad. Thanks a lot for sharing these great talks. And I would love to know if Alain is quoting from one of his books to purchase it.
His early book, "The Consolations of Philosophy" is very much in the vein of this talk, and well worth reading to get more information on how pessimistic philosophies can bring consolation. I don't think he's quoting from any particular book, though, this is great "sermon" that stands by itself.
I highly recommend his novel “On Love” if you like these talks, it is a sort of artful extension of his lectures and I think any Alain de Botton fan would like it! He’s a great writer
"That in moments of darkness that we have our best insights into what we need in life."~ Nietzsche "The capacity to tolerate suffering, the capacity to be pessimistic comfortably to endure passages of pessimism is absolutely essential." ~ Nietzsche Well these two lines are going to be my motivation from now on to embrace and accept my anxiety and fix it.
Alain's point of lowering One's expectations is very key to living through life in content. It allows you to have a cushion for error and if error is small or doesn't occur, it is a small victory. If error does occur, it lessens the blow. This man has lots of other relevant and helpful lectures. I adore his articulation of what many of us have poked at but told it is wrong to appreciate or think. People constantly try to degrade the beautiful tool of pessimism and it is ignorant to shun such a useful mind set.
This is probably my third time watching this. I try to remind myself of this and it really makes me feel much better about life. Such a practical explantation. I love this man's ideas.
By Being pessimistic , to my understanding what he means is to have low expectations from the results and being positive towards the work and satisfaction of that hard work :)
Mentally i always put myself into a pessimistic headspace before going out for a big night, to parties, traveling overseas, even whether i will have a good day at work. 99% of the time it isn't a horrible day at work, a bad night out, a boring party or a bad trip overseas. Which then makes it a far more optimistic outcome than it would've been if i didn't use that process if that makes any sense. Its been working for me since i was a teenager, still works with me now that i'm in my early 40's. I don't get anxiety, nor suffered depression.
What a great man! He is much more valuable than a doctor for our individualistic society as he spreads widely i hope, his curing ideas. he changes lives i believe. Firstly, I started listen to him because i learn English, and i was fascinated by the quality of his diction and by the beauty of his language . Instantly i 've become a fan of him. Glory to Alain, Thank you RUclips!
This is also similar to the foundation of Guru Nanak's (Sikh) philosophy: pehla maran kabool jeevan ki chad aas, (first thing is to accept death and give up all hopes of life),
Alain de Botton is a wonderful speaker, very refreshing his ideas are. He gives a different perspective on a serious meaningful topic and with some humor lets you see a deifferent perspective, one that you might have never seen or have forgotten about. I consider this lection very satysfying as I see here a great idea of being grateful for everything that comes into your life. Letting go ofexpectations rrally is THE way to have a deep appreciation, lead more balanced and happy life.
It's fun to see that attendees at this sermon participate in singing as rarely as those at churches I've attended. I needed this message, right now, SO much. Thank you.
People that believe they deserve their position because of their hard work ignore those people, situations, conditions, options, timing, luck, and similarities that have been offered and put before them, while ignoring the fact that they hold a position that ONLY ONE PERSON CAN HAVE therefore disallowing for the fact that they are in a position of privilege and like it or not are accountable to those "below" them. I would say the individual difference of those who rise is the ability to scratch and claw and steal
I completely love this guy's lectures and the humor here goes right into some deep, neglected place in my brain. And, better still, it comforts me on a fundamental level to read the comments of people like myself.
It's lovely to hear the english language used correctly. ☺ People swear a lot because they don't have the vocabulary to communicate. I could listen to Alain all day😉
WOW I can't stop thinking about the fact that I had been influenced by the Tony robins book for like 4 years and the funny thing is I tried to read his book more than 3times and I could not finish it and always felt guilty. Thanks Alain I love you
"Death doesn't make you think that life is meaningless. Far from it. It simply makes you adjust your priorities" Since I was a young teenager (not that far from now), I've always had a mantra I tell myself and loved ones whenever we're feeling anxious or insecure about something: "Think about whether, when you're in your deathbed, you're gonna wanna have lived this the way you're living it", a much more secular take on what Tracy Chapman voiced in the beautifully simple verses of her song "Change": "If you saw the face of God and love, if you knew that you could die today, would you change?" Thinking about the horizon of death might mean picturing life as a fated and somewhat frightening wait. But, aren't horizons what makes sunsets so beautiful and worth waiting for? Isn't the pessimist horizon of death what makes it only sensible to value the sunset of life?
So glad that Alain discusses the true dynamics of human life and emotions. I like he says that “you can do anything you want “ mentality creates envy, and envy could be very distractive and leads to self-doubt.
At 12:30, he reads from Anthony Robbins' book. I feel the exact same way when I read books like Anthony's. Only a very few people in this world can be in the upper one percent. Not that it is not good to strive for everything you'd like, it is to be okay with an ordinary life that 99% of us will have.
Omg ! I always play that Elton John song when things go wrong. Sad Songs. Never told anyone that till now. Totally blew my mind when he mentioned/played it. Fabulous, thanks
Pessimism is just the other side of optimism. This world of the ego is based on pessimism, while optimism is the nature of our spiritual selves. Pessimism used in a humorous form will eventually lead to optimism. Alain is truly optimistic in his pessimism!
I really appreciate you, Alain. I first discovered your videos on love and marriage when I was going through a divorce and they gave me a lot of valuable perspective. In this speech I get the feeling that you are falling into the trap of a false dichotomy - that you either fall prey to damaging ideas of self help or are correctly pessimistic. Believing in the ideas of self help doesn't mean that you think that by just being optimistic that you'll achieve the same level of success as Bill Gates. I agree that that is also oversimplified and naive. It does mean that you are far more likely to find happiness, fulfillment, and success if you believe strongly enough (have optimism/faith) that working towards those things gives you a better chance at having them than not working towards those things. Tony Robbins has had a massively positive impact on me but I'm not even close to being a millionaire (although I strongly believe that I will get there one day) and I accept the fact that even if I do follow everything he says, I will probably never be nearly as financially successful as he is. And yet, losing weight and working hard and believing that those things would improve my life have, in fact, improved my life immensely. In fact, many self help books not only acknowledge but offer guidance on what to do when terrible things happen in your life. I don't know that I've read a single self help book or listened to a talk by anyone that is well respected that actually says that if you do these things you are guaranteed Bill Gates/Elon Musk levels of success and that nothing bad will ever happen to you. On the contrary, they emphasize the importance of these events in your life and how having a different perspective on them can help you become a stronger person. I would love to see a conversation between you and Tony Robbins.
SelfReferencingName it’s grim oop norf marra. However, strangers talk to each other and say hello a lot more frequently here than say on the London Underground. I moved to Cumbria where everybody know at least one mutual friend. People are relearning what community means as employment is low and reliance turns to each other for support.
“And a real, undoubted grief is sometimes capable of making a solid and steadfast man even out of a phenomenally light-minded one, if only for a short time; moreover, real and true grief has sometimes even made fools more intelligent, also only for a time, of course; grief has this property.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Demons
Canadian covid essential worker here. Nov 2 , 2021. My 6 mth prediction above was pretty good but Its not over! In my area, Quebec, Canada we are lifting many covid restrictions , like Karaoke, on Nov. 15. Masks are still everywhere. Masks were already in my life because I work in a mostly Asian clientele. I m sure we wont be so hesitant or averse to mask wearing in the future when we know we are sick. We know there wasn t the dreaded double whammy last winter. Wear a mask, wash your hands, you dont get the flu. Thats what Japanese would do, wear a mask. Then there will always be a demographic that wears them for fear of others or viruses. The masks do a weird thing to our minds, sometimes and its hard to see the pretty ladies
The '90s, especially the early '90s, was a great time for liberating, uplifting pessimism. I felt like we were really onto something at that point. Then the internet came along and totally ruined it with an absolute cruise-liner boatload of false hope.
Alain, THANK YOU!! I always dealt with life by acknowledging my misfortunes. Accepting othera' successes as luck mostly though also ability that I understood not yo have. I laughed so much with this BRILLIANT talk, that at my 70 yrs old I love seeing such a young man giving us all lessons without a spec of srlfimportance, knowing, surely, that you are indeed GREAT. 🤗👌👏👏🤸♂️🤸♂️....😪😥😢🧐
I feel so blessed to listen to the wise words spoken during this lecture. It is an interesting thing for me that human begins can do such an in-depth analysis of the world around them and what they feel. Thank you Alan De Botton.
I think that pessimism and optimism can have similar results. Accepting that everything is going to fail, suffering will always endure, and war/crisis is the default situation can make you feel powerless and insignificant. You can quit as easy as an over-optimistic person who finds out that things are much more painful than he/she thought. Of course each of us is different- has particular skills and capabilities which she/he may utilise or not. Few will become philosophers, millionares, rock stars or whatever, nevertheless everyone has power in her/him. Even though I personally tend to be a bit more pessimistic about the future, my view is that darkness is not always synonymous to blindness; it reveals that there is more to fight for, thus providing the strength and courage to make the best out of the worst. In this respect, sadness is dialectically related to happiness as death is to life. As much as you twist and turn life, at the end of the day balance seems to be the key.
"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; ...Then ...you'll be a man... !" [Rudyard Kipling's 'IF'] I find the people whose sayings stick with me the most are the seemingly pessimistic and, at the same time, paradoxical. I've heard this called the union of opposites [Hereclitus], but I did not go looking for this notion, I worked it out by deduction; by asking myself questions like "why does Joy Division make me feel elevated?" (when it's so sad) I cannot, however, say that Elton John does it for me though, precisely because I associate him with pink and fluffy things, lacking the raw raggedness of Ian Curtis's delivery and untimely death. He died young and stayed pretty, as Debbie Harry's song says. I guess I'm drawn to the visceral. Not sure what that says about me...
@@ireneelisabethhitchcock1365 unless you have an addiction in which case you will need to change something. People are so fucking stupid it's unnatural. You seem to know who Kipling is (I don't have a clue who he is I vaguely heard of him)... but fail to grasp common sense. So other people reading this "stay the way you are" ONLY if that works for you.
Alain makes great points, but I would argue that to be a great artist one usually has to take an irrational leap of faith. There is great risk to creativity. The safe way is to just follow the path that has been laid before us - go to school, get the degree, get the conventional job, get the trophy spouse, and eventually get in the nursing home of your choice and then die - but I don't think I could live with myself if blindly took that path. I think the road in-between Tony Robbin's naive optimism and Alain de Botton's overly pessimistic view is the way to go. The middle way is usually the way to go. As long as I can make enough money to survive off my art, that's enough for me. I don't care about success in the conventional sense of the word; I focus only on pouring every ounce of energy into work that I find meaningful. I spend over 100 hours a week on hand drawn animation, illustration, making coloring books, and writing music because I love making things.
Micah, I hope you read this because I've put a lot of thought into it, for what that's worth. Your art will never be worth much money; probably. I don't mean that disparagingly. You're probably brilliant, and you should keep producing art, but please don't fall victim to the Romantic ideal that your art should be valued according to the work you put into it.
I'm a realist, not a romantic. I'm very pragmatic in my approach and I'm very tired of the starving artist myth, or the assumption that artists are by definition romantics. I'm doing just fine in my business. I don't doubt you mean well in your comment, but I would question my sanity if I took unsolicited career advice from someone on youtube who knows nothing about me, my situation, or my accomplishments.
Hi Micah. I'm sorry! Reading back I'm not sure where I was coming from - you were only saying you could make a modest living from your art, which is quite reasonable. Even if you were to make an immodest living from it, it's not my place to discourage you. It's a weird conversation to get into with a complete stranger, but I guess we both watched this video and were stirred by it. Look forward to checking out your stuff, and I hope no offence is taken
No problem Danyal. It's sometimes hard to convey tone over the internet. No offense has been taken. I just wanted to clarify that all money is for me is a tool to get things done, it's not the ultimate end goal.
What a brilliant and articulate man. How refreshing to finally hear someone grounded in reality, free of optimism in all it's guises. This man speaks such commonsense that it's almost laughable. Of course, we all know that optimists are severely deluded and are unable to cope with reality. It's just too distressing for them to face up to. I suppose I can't blame. They say ignorance is bliss after all.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
God, Alain is just the best sort of weirdo there is. Who in their right mind would not just blast Sad Song to an audience, but go through the trouble of printing out the lyrics so that the entire congregation can join in? The absolute madman, I love it
And he was getting into whatever notes he was singing I just love it. Sings like me B4 I was taught how to use my voice. This guy's great and I'm only 2 talks in.
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find something worth suffering for"
-Nietzsche
And when Nietzsche talks about worth especially when giving worth to suffering he proves he is not a pessimist. Nietzsche is a nay saying yes man. This talk also has very little to do with pessimistic philosophy but more of a glass half empty or half full type of thing.
It should have been "To survive is to suffer, to live is to find something worth suffering for".
You've missed the point, my friend. Think further on the quote
Now I get it, it is even better the way Nietzsche put it. :D
Subfreak nah you tried to make it more optimistic than it needs to be, it's corny
I adore this man
***** I have a strong desire to become a philosopher after listening to him!
+PsychOnLocko Ahhhh but PsychOnLocko, by assuming that you have to study philosophy by studying it in a dry and academic sense at a university, you almost completely negate all of what Allain is trying to teach you to teach yourself.
However, if you were to respond to this comment without mention of any personal offence you may have felt in response to my criticism, and how that response might justify your negative premonitions regarding my obviously apparent hubris. If you were to instead respond with the reasons as to why you might think I am right and/or wrong, then there may be hope for you yet ;)
I think you're onto something there. But how's about we flesh out the idea that you, nor anyone, needs to study philosophy. I might be inclined to argue that if everyone did study, not it in a dry and stuffy sense, but in a way that championed the importance of original ideas, then a lot more good could be done. In which case we all would look back and realise that philosophy was indeed vital to the furtherance of civilisation. Do you think you agree?
Oh and do you think I was trying to offend you? Because that was exactly what I was trying not to do. You may not believe me, but I'm hoping 'we', as in you and me and every other person consumed by feelings of offence, can drop our petty emotional responses and reflect on how big an impact philosophical thinking could actually have on the world, if thinkers like me and you endorsed it in the right way.
Yeah you're absolutely correct. I cannot but concede that I must seem an unbearably pretentious twat.
But I put it to you that the manliest men have been philosophers. What School of Life proposes is the mainstreaming of Philosophy.
I'm in no doubt that if/when Philosophy became the pass time of everyone, it would absolutely save lives.
To use your examples; doctors, firefighters, nurses, teachers (what about Philosophy teachers Mark?), what if these professionals had an intricate understanding of themselves and of reality? Would that not shield them from the stresses and strains of their everyday lives? From PTSD? From lacking self-awareness or self assuredness? Consider it.
Unless I missed the memo and a 'mark' of a real man consists of lecturing others on what they should be doing with their livelihoods online. Like. A. Boss...
But in all fairness, after reading all my comments, wow, what a load of old tosh. What can I say, I chat a lot of shit. So what do I know?
This is like a cure for depression “embrace your sadness, enjoy it” cause that’s the reality of life.
yeah...what you can't be with,won't let you be
U gotta process your emotions, u can’t hold them in
We have a subculture for this. Grab some black clothes and listen to the Cure. :)
Ideology of anti pessimist in a nut shell
Such a refreshing antidote to the disappointing cult of optimism.
in fact I couldn't agree more with you, this kind of thinking help human beings a lot...I really enjoy this lecture...
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who's happy to be slightly depressed, the only people who look happy to me are either on drugs or in a cult.
+McFraneth Fradet If being happy means one is "retarded," who in their right mind would want to be normal?
Bad word choice, pal.
Read "Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America" from Barbara Ehrenreich
Indeed
This is the most comforting thing I've ever heard
This man is a genius... I’ve watched almost all of his videos, I’m a fan of his school of life, I’ve read a couple of his books and he has helped me a lot; since I started to listen to him I feel more mature and emotionally strong
Agree
so grateful for Alain de Botton's contribution to humankind- this channel has been a terrific consolation to me
This man's unselfconscious singing Elton John at an podium in an assembly hall is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Pessimism is realism.
Optimism is only three glasses of wine away.
Then Nirvana is achieved at 100 proof..
I have always lived my life as a pessimist, I have also found myself living a life of surprise and gratitude :)
Man.. He's really one of the good ones isn't he.
he is.
yes he is
he is.
damn yeah! especially when you try your best to be the best of yourself and everyday fail
Definitely.
This made me feel very optimistic.
I know! And surprisingly, too. You know what, I think he did as he said to do in the talk, and ingeniously prepared us for the worst at the start of it so that we felt very optimistic by the end of it.
That is a BRILLIANT name. Caffa Jake. Sounds like a Little Britain Character. Walliams would probably make it a member of the weight loss program, harrrr!!😋
Indeed I became very pleased with my self after watching this genius talk 👍🏻👏🏻🤣 he is brilliant
Same
"We must not react with injured surprise to bad things, these bad things are written into the contract of Life." this dude
there is no contract of life.
Sounds like invalidation of natural and valid feelings
@@improvetheworldnow not a literal contract you dolt.
@@Algernon7 contract is an inappropriate word. an appropriate word could be "pattern" or "structure" or "form", or many others. but contract implies that there is an agreed upon obligation, which is nonsensical in this context and enables delusion.
@Alex Michaudi it isn't. Everyone understands what he said. It's just a way of saying bad things are bound to happen. Btw, you didn't have a choice when you were born. The contract of life is written without your agreement in that sense!
"Relationships are built around shared griefs."
Alain illuminates the path of the often dark journey of life. With endearing wit and humor. He's our modern day treasure. Thank you for posting :)
This talk changed my life and I've been living by it for ten years... and I don't get depressed and life blows feel like wind gusts. Thank you so much.
Nice
„Life is an near-death experience.” 💕
This is one of the most optimistic and motivational speaches I have heard!
Wow the contrary that's visible here."optimistic".
"Optimism makes us angry as it is the root of expectation which leads to disappointment" ... man, couldn't agree more.
Alai Botton is such remarkable man
I’m a Brit, moved to the US with my family and am now alone (they died), and I’m in AAAHHHH California. I can’t Stand the cult of positivity here; it’s oppressive. I Love this guy; I feel not completely mad and alone when I listen to him. 💕
I'm so sorry ❤
I moved to an island of the cost of Ireland. I can't stand people. Never been as happy!🎉
Alain de Botton has a unique way of keeping it real that I find helpful.
I've stopped listening to radio, partially because music is crap now and partially because I am landsliding into becoming my grandmother. Lectures are my newusic. This gent is a global treasure.
Finally there is a philosopher who thinks like me. I don't feel alone anymore.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
+TrollCarl He won't lend it to you in the first place ;)
+TrollCarl So the pessimist donated money to you.
Rubbish, pessimists don't have money.
I believe pessimist doesn't want that person back, he doesn't care about money.
@@daniilegle9094 he does have money. But he's so worried about keeping it safe that he cant enjoy it lol
One of the times I was the happiest was when I was participating in a contest with 10 other people and I soon realized I was the worst. It was so liberating because I was not worried about messing up, because I knew I couldn't possibly win no matter how well or how badly I did. From that point onward I was just having a good time and learning and I ended up in second to last place, which I did not expect.
What is so great about Alain De Button is that he is not a Tony Robbins. That he is a not a motivator. He is a eloquent, brilliant man that collectively inspires us to think about things that don’t feel good. That happens to be in a way that can change our life. He talks without fluff. This is why for the school of life channel he is out parent.
i read his book on marcel proust, i thought alain would be a 80year old wiseman with a curtain for a beard. he looks young and healthy!!
28:40 This part where you sing Elton John with the audience is so beautiful Alain! Thank you so much for this! I love this so much! :)
its Leonard Cohen 'Suzzane' not Elton John i think
Occasionally in life, some people reach the heights of humanity. Educated, Erudite and Entertaining Alain de Botton is certainly one of these !!
The hypocrisy of the "success" community is absolutely appalling. Glad someone else said it! Besides, many, many successful people will build their own success upon the very failure of others. Great presentation. I am sharing that.
because success happens ONLY that way.
Could not have said it better.well put.
@@gwho Well think about it. What in your life is build up upon exploitation of other people.
Then think about success again. It might shine in another light, doesnt it.
A pessimist will always feel better than an optimist, The only way is up.
I'm not so sure. A pessimistic can get consumed with analysing threats. Non existent threats. CONSUMED. I think everything has a balance.
I have thought about this a good deal. I think Alain's teachings are useful in a lot of ways but he misses a few key points.
I think you need a mix of pessimism and optimism. But it's important how one focusses each.
You need to be optimistic as to your OWN innate abilities to achieve something. This needs to be worked on. The aim is create core self-belief.
Know that you have blind spots and weaknesses (and try to understand what they are) but BELIEVE in your own ability to overcome them. You need to work on this core self-belief - it's not something that you 'lick off the ground' particularly if you had a childhood that was far from perfect. For instance I lack assertiveness. I know this, but I believe I can learn more about how to be more assertive and that I have the ability to improve in this area.
Conversely you also need to be realistic as to how challenging things can be and how other people's interests can on occasion act against your own personal interests - it's nothing personal, just an incompatible aim, and that you may not on occasion get what you want. This creates MOTIVATION to achieve (realising how difficult things can on occasion be to achieve) and helps to guard against despair and create a healthy scepticism. But in that realism, optimistic in your own innate abilities and how they can be harnessed in overcoming such challenges.
@@mryan4452 Well said
Love is rare , happiness doesn't exist and death is certain.. What a blissful state this is.
As a poet once said, "It is sorrow that suits us best"
I like Alain a lot. he is so intelligent, and so easy to understand . I picked up books, very easy read
This talk just hits so many points spot on.
It amaze me how Aain's charm can turn a topic as dark as pessimism to be very mesmerizing and cheerful. I'm glad to hear someone I deeply admire like Alain that its OKAY to be sad. Thanks a lot for sharing these great talks. And I would love to know if Alain is quoting from one of his books to purchase it.
His early book, "The Consolations of Philosophy" is very much in the vein of this talk, and well worth reading to get more information on how pessimistic philosophies can bring consolation. I don't think he's quoting from any particular book, though, this is great "sermon" that stands by itself.
Also, How Proust Can Change Your Life.
This man is one of my favourite people ever.
His words are more true than anybody else's
I highly recommend his novel “On Love” if you like these talks, it is a sort of artful extension of his lectures and I think any Alain de Botton fan would like it! He’s a great writer
"That in moments of darkness that we have our best insights into what we need in life."~ Nietzsche
"The capacity to tolerate suffering, the capacity to be pessimistic comfortably to endure passages of pessimism is absolutely essential." ~ Nietzsche
Well these two lines are going to be my motivation from now on to embrace and accept my anxiety and fix it.
Alain's point of lowering One's expectations is very key to living through life in content. It allows you to have a cushion for error and if error is small or doesn't occur, it is a small victory. If error does occur, it lessens the blow. This man has lots of other relevant and helpful lectures. I adore his articulation of what many of us have poked at but told it is wrong to appreciate or think. People constantly try to degrade the beautiful tool of pessimism and it is ignorant to shun such a useful mind set.
This is probably my third time watching this. I try to remind myself of this and it really makes me feel much better about life. Such a practical explantation. I love this man's ideas.
By Being pessimistic , to my understanding what he means is to have low expectations from the results and being positive towards the work and satisfaction of that hard work :)
I don't know why this is the most positive talk I've ever listened to!
The problem with high expectations is that they leave no room for pleasant surprises, only disappointing ones.
Yess
Thanks Alain I feel a lot happier now in a Leonard cohen type of way.
Mentally i always put myself into a pessimistic headspace before going out for a big night, to parties, traveling overseas, even whether i will have a good day at work. 99% of the time it isn't a horrible day at work, a bad night out, a boring party or a bad trip overseas. Which then makes it a far more optimistic outcome than it would've been if i didn't use that process if that makes any sense. Its been working for me since i was a teenager, still works with me now that i'm in my early 40's. I don't get anxiety, nor suffered depression.
What a great man! He is much more valuable than a doctor for our individualistic society as he spreads widely i hope, his curing ideas. he changes lives i believe.
Firstly, I started listen to him because i learn English, and i was fascinated by the quality of his diction and by the beauty of his language . Instantly i 've become a fan of him. Glory to Alain, Thank you RUclips!
what a beautiful human being alain, thank you so much for existing :)
This is one of my all time favourite talks. It really resonated with me. I listen to it every few months. Alain is a legend.
Completely nailed it. This was truly therapeutic.
Beautiful. I can't stop rewatching this
This is also similar to the foundation of Guru Nanak's (Sikh) philosophy:
pehla maran kabool jeevan ki chad aas,
(first thing is to accept death and give up all hopes of life),
Alain de Botton is a wonderful speaker, very refreshing his ideas are. He gives a different perspective on a serious meaningful topic and with some humor lets you see a deifferent perspective, one that you might have never seen or have forgotten about.
I consider this lection very satysfying as I see here a great idea of being grateful for everything that comes into your life. Letting go ofexpectations rrally is THE way to have a deep appreciation, lead more balanced and happy life.
I wasnt sure if it was a stand up show or a lecture on philosophy. Hats off !
one of my favourite videos. been rewatching it at least every month for the last year.
me too wtf
It's fun to see that attendees at this sermon participate in singing as rarely as those at churches I've attended.
I needed this message, right now, SO much. Thank you.
Intelligent
Well read, and remembers what he reads
Well spoken
Sense of humor
10:02 it was at this point when I realized, he's the narrator of all the School of Life videos
I LOVE LOVE LOVE, Alain!!!! His philosophy on life is truly FANTASTIC!!!
he has extremely detailed thoughts on life and well being. amazing.
A mismash of comedian, preacher and philosopher. Thank you for these!
I can listen to him speak all day!
People that believe they deserve their position because of their hard work ignore those people, situations, conditions, options, timing, luck, and similarities that have been offered and put before them, while ignoring the fact that they hold a position that ONLY ONE PERSON CAN HAVE therefore disallowing for the fact that they are in a position of privilege and like it or not are accountable to those "below" them. I would say the individual difference of those who rise is the ability to scratch and claw and steal
Truth
Hearing Alain sing Elton has made my day!
I could listen to him all day.
I completely love this guy's lectures and the humor here goes right into some deep, neglected place in my brain. And, better still, it comforts me on a fundamental level to read the comments of people like myself.
Probably the best thing I've ever heard in my whole life! Simply beautiful!
This is probably, quite simply, the most brilliant advice ever dispensed to me in my entire life. Bravo!
This guy is a mentor. Thanks for the uploads and the great work!
The part about meritocracy is eye-opening.
How I got into metal music, finding artists that speak of despair.
Listen to Tupac Shakur
As do 90٪ of Sinatra albums, most country and western , and obviously, the blues.
It's lovely to hear the english language used correctly. ☺ People swear a lot because they don't have the vocabulary to communicate. I could listen to Alain all day😉
Halfway through the group singing, I felt it was never going to end...
...but now I get the value of pessimism (though I think optimism won the day).
The most intelligently realistic speaker I've ever heard. I feel so much better now.
WOW I can't stop thinking about the fact that I had been influenced by the Tony robins book for like 4 years and the funny thing is I tried to read his book more than 3times and I could not finish it and always felt guilty. Thanks Alain I love you
this talk's made me feel a bit at ease. recently surroundings've made me feel inadequate for not being mindlessly cheerful and optimistic.
"Death doesn't make you think that life is meaningless. Far from it. It simply makes you adjust your priorities"
Since I was a young teenager (not that far from now), I've always had a mantra I tell myself and loved ones whenever we're feeling anxious or insecure about something: "Think about whether, when you're in your deathbed, you're gonna wanna have lived this the way you're living it", a much more secular take on what Tracy Chapman voiced in the beautifully simple verses of her song "Change": "If you saw the face of God and love, if you knew that you could die today, would you change?"
Thinking about the horizon of death might mean picturing life as a fated and somewhat frightening wait. But, aren't horizons what makes sunsets so beautiful and worth waiting for? Isn't the pessimist horizon of death what makes it only sensible to value the sunset of life?
So glad that Alain discusses the true dynamics of human life and emotions. I like he says that “you can do anything you want “ mentality creates envy, and envy could be very distractive and leads to self-doubt.
At 12:30, he reads from Anthony Robbins' book. I feel the exact same way when I read books like Anthony's. Only a very few people in this world can be in the upper one percent. Not that it is not good to strive for everything you'd like, it is to be okay with an ordinary life that 99% of us will have.
TONY ROBBINS HUNGRY!
Why does listening to a talk on pessimism lift my spirits!! I'm warped 😜
Your hair is beautiful. But, it will get white and hard someday.
I don't want you to get optimistic.
Nice speech, he is a very interesting and charismatic person !
this lecture touches a very fundamental part of me. It is really satisfying.
Omg ! I always play that Elton John song when things go wrong. Sad Songs. Never told anyone that till now. Totally blew my mind when he mentioned/played it. Fabulous, thanks
Pessimism is just the other side of optimism. This world of the ego is based on pessimism, while optimism is the nature of our spiritual selves. Pessimism used in a humorous form will eventually lead to optimism. Alain is truly optimistic in his pessimism!
There is an utterly ironic Anthony Robbins ad standing next to Alain de Botton on my screen...
I really appreciate you, Alain. I first discovered your videos on love and marriage when I was going through a divorce and they gave me a lot of valuable perspective. In this speech I get the feeling that you are falling into the trap of a false dichotomy - that you either fall prey to damaging ideas of self help or are correctly pessimistic. Believing in the ideas of self help doesn't mean that you think that by just being optimistic that you'll achieve the same level of success as Bill Gates. I agree that that is also oversimplified and naive. It does mean that you are far more likely to find happiness, fulfillment, and success if you believe strongly enough (have optimism/faith) that working towards those things gives you a better chance at having them than not working towards those things. Tony Robbins has had a massively positive impact on me but I'm not even close to being a millionaire (although I strongly believe that I will get there one day) and I accept the fact that even if I do follow everything he says, I will probably never be nearly as financially successful as he is. And yet, losing weight and working hard and believing that those things would improve my life have, in fact, improved my life immensely.
In fact, many self help books not only acknowledge but offer guidance on what to do when terrible things happen in your life. I don't know that I've read a single self help book or listened to a talk by anyone that is well respected that actually says that if you do these things you are guaranteed Bill Gates/Elon Musk levels of success and that nothing bad will ever happen to you. On the contrary, they emphasize the importance of these events in your life and how having a different perspective on them can help you become a stronger person. I would love to see a conversation between you and Tony Robbins.
'Go up north, to the North of England... It's good to see modern civilisation crumbling to pieces'
+SelfReferencingName I'm in merseyside where optimism walks the streets in pyjama pants.
Caffa Jake
She's probably ripe with caked on menstruated blood.
I was dragged up in "the North ". Was it ever ever civilised?
Lol
SelfReferencingName it’s grim oop norf marra. However, strangers talk to each other and say hello a lot more frequently here than say on the London Underground. I moved to Cumbria where everybody know at least one mutual friend. People are relearning what community means as employment is low and reliance turns to each other for support.
So smart and educated he melted his hair off. Great speech
“And a real, undoubted grief is sometimes capable of making a solid and steadfast man even out of a phenomenally light-minded one, if only for a short time; moreover, real and true grief has sometimes even made fools more intelligent, also only for a time, of course; grief has this property.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Demons
I just LOVE to listen this philosopher.
"We are currently living in troubled times."
A few years later.... corona... hold my beer
Hear hear. Canadian Covid essential worker here. June 3, 2021. Be great when covid is behind us. 6 mths fully from now?
@@clarkpalace nope, it's the new normal now, don't ya know
Canadian covid essential worker here. Nov 2 , 2021. My 6 mth prediction above was pretty good but Its not over! In my area, Quebec, Canada we are lifting many covid restrictions , like Karaoke, on Nov. 15. Masks are still everywhere. Masks were already in my life because I work in a mostly Asian clientele. I m sure we wont be so hesitant or averse to mask wearing in the future when we know we are sick. We know there wasn t the dreaded double whammy last winter. Wear a mask, wash your hands, you dont get the flu. Thats what Japanese would do, wear a mask. Then there will always be a demographic that wears them for fear of others or viruses. The masks do a weird thing to our minds, sometimes and its hard to see the pretty ladies
The best part... corona is a beer 🍺 😂
@@clarkpalace this didn’t age well
The '90s, especially the early '90s, was a great time for liberating, uplifting pessimism. I felt like we were really onto something at that point. Then the internet came along and totally ruined it with an absolute cruise-liner boatload of false hope.
Alain, THANK YOU!! I always dealt with life by acknowledging my misfortunes. Accepting othera' successes as luck mostly though also ability that I understood not yo have. I laughed so much with this BRILLIANT talk, that at my 70 yrs old I love seeing such a young man giving us all lessons without a spec of srlfimportance, knowing, surely, that you are indeed GREAT. 🤗👌👏👏🤸♂️🤸♂️....😪😥😢🧐
"Some feel the rain, others just get wet" 🌧️❣️
That jab at Anthony Robbins
Lol, no one has ever been able to insult Tony Robbins so eloquently and elegantly. I really enjoyed it.
More like an uppercut.
part of the Robbins types con is the myth of the loser becoming the hero...yet they conveniently provide no facts to back themselves
I feel so blessed to listen to the wise words spoken during this lecture. It is an interesting thing for me that human begins can do such an in-depth analysis of the world around them and what they feel. Thank you Alan De Botton.
I think that pessimism and optimism can have similar results.
Accepting that everything is going to fail, suffering will always endure, and war/crisis is the default situation can make you feel powerless and insignificant. You can quit as easy as an over-optimistic person who finds out that things are much more painful than he/she thought.
Of course each of us is different- has particular skills and capabilities which she/he may utilise or not. Few will become philosophers, millionares, rock stars or whatever, nevertheless everyone has power in her/him.
Even though I personally tend to be a bit more pessimistic about the future, my view is that darkness is not always synonymous to blindness; it reveals that there is more to fight for, thus providing the strength and courage to make the best out of the worst. In this respect, sadness is dialectically related to happiness as death is to life.
As much as you twist and turn life, at the end of the day balance seems to be the key.
"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
...Then ...you'll be a man... !"
[Rudyard Kipling's 'IF']
I find the people whose sayings stick with me the most are the seemingly pessimistic and, at the same time, paradoxical.
I've heard this called the union of opposites [Hereclitus], but I did not go looking for this notion, I worked it out by deduction; by asking myself questions like "why does Joy Division make me feel elevated?" (when it's so sad)
I cannot, however, say that Elton John does it for me though, precisely because I associate him with pink and fluffy things, lacking the raw raggedness of Ian Curtis's delivery and untimely death. He died young and stayed pretty, as Debbie Harry's song says.
I guess I'm drawn to the visceral. Not sure what that says about me...
differous01 Thank you for quoting Kipling, very fitting.
....what that says about me: Stay the way you are! :D
@@ireneelisabethhitchcock1365 unless you have an addiction in which case you will need to change something. People are so fucking stupid it's unnatural. You seem to know who Kipling is (I don't have a clue who he is I vaguely heard of him)... but fail to grasp common sense. So other people reading this "stay the way you are" ONLY if that works for you.
You touch on a disheartening truth. People never want to be told anything they do not believe already.
Alain makes great points, but I would argue that to be a great artist one usually has to take an irrational leap of faith. There is great risk to creativity. The safe way is to just follow the path that has been laid before us - go to school, get the degree, get the conventional job, get the trophy spouse, and eventually get in the nursing home of your choice and then die - but I don't think I could live with myself if blindly took that path. I think the road in-between Tony Robbin's naive optimism and Alain de Botton's overly pessimistic view is the way to go. The middle way is usually the way to go.
As long as I can make enough money to survive off my art, that's enough for me. I don't care about success in the conventional sense of the word; I focus only on pouring every ounce of energy into work that I find meaningful. I spend over 100 hours a week on hand drawn animation, illustration, making coloring books, and writing music because I love making things.
Micah, I hope you read this because I've put a lot of thought into it, for what that's worth. Your art will never be worth much money; probably. I don't mean that disparagingly. You're probably brilliant, and you should keep producing art, but please don't fall victim to the Romantic ideal that your art should be valued according to the work you put into it.
I'm a realist, not a romantic. I'm very pragmatic in my approach and I'm very tired of the starving artist myth, or the assumption that artists are by definition romantics. I'm doing just fine in my business.
I don't doubt you mean well in your comment, but I would question my sanity if I took unsolicited career advice from someone on youtube who knows nothing about me, my situation, or my accomplishments.
Hi Micah. I'm sorry! Reading back I'm not sure where I was coming from - you were only saying you could make a modest living from your art, which is quite reasonable. Even if you were to make an immodest living from it, it's not my place to discourage you. It's a weird conversation to get into with a complete stranger, but I guess we both watched this video and were stirred by it. Look forward to checking out your stuff, and I hope no offence is taken
No problem Danyal. It's sometimes hard to convey tone over the internet. No offense has been taken. I just wanted to clarify that all money is for me is a tool to get things done, it's not the ultimate end goal.
Look where i found you !!!
What a brilliant and articulate man.
How refreshing to finally hear someone grounded in reality, free of optimism in all it's guises. This man speaks such commonsense that it's almost laughable.
Of course, we all know that optimists are severely deluded and are unable to cope with reality. It's just too distressing for them to face up to. I suppose I can't blame. They say ignorance is bliss after all.
this cheered me up loads and probably changed my life, ta x