I really, genuinely love when Julien talks and shares more about his feelings because it's so nice to see guys talking about and normalizing emotions like sadness and crying. It means a ton to hear that. And I'm also so proud of you, Julien & Jenna for dedicating so much of your life to make the world better for others.
YES !! Big big yes to this comment !! Couldn’t have said it any better:) the beauty of it too is that they not only make the world better in the work they do such as fostering and raising money and awareness for such worthwhile and important causes/charities etc, but also in the lessons we’re being taught subconsciously about things like identity and image and gender norms just from watching someone like Julen just be Julen
A foster program literally saved my dog's life. My dog was going to be euthanized as she was at a high rate kill shelter and was too aggressive to be adopted. She was selected for a prison foster system where the inmates would train her and get her ready for her forever home. There would be days where we would be cuddling and I would look down at her face and think you almost died. I sadly lost her last year due to cancer but she was my world and I am so thankful for the foster system which gave her a second chance and brought her to me.
Thank you for sharing your story 💕Im also in for letting prisons take animals (cats or dogs) to help them get adopted. If this can save all of the euthanized animals in shelter, im all in😁 My cat is a shelter cat and she moved 3x before we could have her (bought our first house). Here they dont kill, they move them to other shelters after 3-4months. Can you imagine the stress of a car ride on a cat😔.. Awful to live like that..wish i could get more kitty but with a 4y daughter & 1y pitbull. My hands are full enough😆
Julien is seriously such a beautiful human. I sometimes get really pessimistic about human beings. The dink fam and Julien always help ground me and remind me good people exist in this world.
We're all different ages and stages, but we have a commitment to supporting people who want to press forward and past human weakness. To champion or back the fighters for better. We're all on the same planet, have the same basic makeup/chemicals in our bodies, literally, family ❤️
I can relate to this very much as someone who volunteered at an animal shelter. People constantly were saying "I could never do that, I care too much or get too attached", definitely felt weird because it made it almost feel like you didn't care "enough" since you are able to say goodbye. If anything I cared so much that I was able to say goodbye, I was overjoyed to see an animal get adopted because that meant they got to go live the best life that I knew they deserved. I also already had two cats and I couldn't imagine owning more because they were my special babies that I dedicated my time and money towards, if I constantly adopted every animal at the shelter I would be broke and no one else would get to feel the love that I experienced adopting/owing animals. Thank you for sharing your stories and opinions Julien much love
But like why take it personally. It’s just people expressing that something would be difficult for THEM it’s not about you other to say they admire you for being stronger and more resilient than them. I volunteer at my local shelter and when people say that I’m like okay cool same reaction as if they told me they didn’t like soup.
Yes absolutely! I work in shelter work and trust me, if we didn’t care more than the average person, there’s no way in hell we would go through all of that lmao so I definitely don’t get when ppl say stuff like that
Yeah, it's not about how much you care. I don't think I can foster because I have mental health issues that are triggered by loss. It's not about me caring more than someone else, it's probably more about me being more easily dysregulated than someone else. A person telling you they can't foster means they know their limit, which is the important part. Maybe if they fostered, they can't trust that they will stay functional enough to be able to keep helping animals. Or maybe they have a really triggering day job that already causes a lot of pain and stress (e.g. they work with a high risk population, or at a hospital, or as a therapist, etc.), and they don't think they could handle fostering on top of that. That would suggest that fostering isn't the best way for them to help animals. I can volunteer at shelters. I can adopt animals, even high needs animals. I cannot foster. I don't think knowing I have that limit is selfish. If I can't stay functional, I can't help anyone, not even myself.
I have definitely said “i could never” with people fostering cats and I never realized about the negative implications it sounded. for me when i said it, it was about me unable to have the willpower and strength to let a cat go to a forever home because i would want to adopt it. that i would be too attached. not saying those who do foster aren’t attached. but i see on the other side how it sounds, i’ll definitely change my wording to something more positive towards a foster parent and admiration for their strength
Also when I said it by the past I said that I'm really impress and grateful that people have the strength I don't. But I'll also not say it and say only the it's wonderful the good you're doing!
I love how Julien chooses to educate people in a way that isn’t rude or degrading. He knows that sometimes people don’t see a certain situation in the same way he or others might, and that’s ok. He just wants to educate in a peaceful, productive way. I genuinely love Juliens energy, he is an amazing human being
In my mind and in this context, “I could never” means “you are so much stronger and braver than I am and I am in awe of how big your heart is.” The anticipation of the strong emotions and pain of saying goodbye keep me from doing stuff like this and yet you are so brave for selflessly confronting that with each new pup in need of a home. It never occurred to me that it could sound like the opposite but I completely understand what you mean.
People can really be a lot sometimes. I'm type 1 diabetic and I get told "I could never give myself shots every day" and it's just like... okay? Thanks? Glad you don't have to then? I know it's meant from a good place but it just feels kinda condescending to me. Thanks for opening up about this, you're a great foster dogdad and you're making such a huge difference
Foster mom here.. I have so much love for foster fails. At the end of the day, that pup was lovingly homed. It is so hard to foster, and successful foster parents like you and Jenna are really not the norm. Y'all are the exception. No matter what, at the end of the day, we are all doing our best to love these pups. That said, the hate you're getting based on your look and age is effed up. People are definitely the worst part about fostering.
Yeah, I commented something similar. Imo, as foster parents, I just try to bring out the best in the pet and find the best home. If the best home is with the foster, then that's great! "Foster fails" occur for many reasons. Pros at fostering who do it for decades sometimes "fail." Sometimes there is a pet that would never get adopted out if the person fostering did not adopt it. Sometimes people just fall in love with their first foster. There's also a lot of foster to adopt situations. It just happens! A pet has a loving home at the end of the day, and that's what matters
Imagine someone saying Julien doesn't have the emotional capacity to do something.... but for real, watching you and Jenna interact was the first time I saw an example of a healthy, caring relationship. So thank you for being awesome 😊
I've definitely made joking foster fail comments, and as someone who's never fostered a dog, this perspective is really helpful for understanding Julien's perspective and the whole concept of what fostering is actually for. I really appreciate Julien speaking on things like this and it's incredibly helpful to growing perception of processes like this. We're all growing as people, and I think one way people can really grow is by understanding sometimes it needs to be about just the animals first, not the people. Edit: PS, the sentiment on "I could NEVER foster.." reminds me so much of when people find out I'm vegan and they start saying how and why they could never go vegan. And then it's like...how are we supposed to respond to that, you know?
If you are vegan for reasons of kindness to animals, you could encourage them to try vegetarian, or mention companies like Upside which are growing meat by replicating cells instead of killing animals. Now that the technology exists, we could literally do away with the slaughter of animals even for those who refuse to or cannot give up meat (nutritionally I would find it very difficult to go vegan because I am heavily allergic to mushrooms.)
I can't imagine "complimenting a dog" by telling the foster parents that they're going to fail. I think it's incredibly wonderful that you guys do what you can to help these animals get ready for a forever home.
I work in an animal shelter and have people say all the time "I don't know how you work here/I could never work here/doesn't it just make you want to cry all the time". It makes me feel bad like they think im some emotionless person who doesn't get sad about it when in reality I just have a perspective of "I would rather them be here where they are warm/safe/fed/loved than be on the street or in a bad home. Also when people are like "oh he loves you you should adopt him" yeah he loves me he sees me 4 days a week for 10 hours a day if I took home all the dogs I felt an emotional connection with I would be an animal hoarder...
I'm sorry that you've had to go through that. Ppl like u are so important 💗 the most selfless thing is to care for animals who wouldn't have a voice themselves and giving them a warm place to stay, food, love etc. Thank you for all you do there are certainly ppl out there who appreciate you
2.5 yrs ago, I adopted a greyhound after watching Bunny. Still the best decision in my life! Now I'm thinking about start fostering and it's a great deal of responsibility to take on. Thank you, Julien and Jenna!
My wife and I foster (human) kids and have a very similar experience in so many ways. This resonated with me so much. Fostering is not easy, a lot of people do not understand it or why we want to do it. I’m the same age as you Julien, and I totally get the “you don’t seem old enough to do this” reaction people have. I could list my gripes but I just wanted to say I totally get your frustrations.
I've seen so many of those comments every time there's a new dog introduced: 'I sense a foster fail!' I think they do mean well, but it can be quite overwhelming Especially after what you've said about not being able to foster anymore if you adopted another dog
I have absolutely said, many times, “I could never foster.” And I’ve never thought of it as a problematic or not-so-complimentary thing to say. This was really insightful and I appreciate this! I always meant it as more of a “you are so much stronger than I am” comment, but I do see that it isn’t really a necessary thing to say. It’s not that I’m weak and you’re strong, we are just different! Thank you Julen ❤️
It takes a strong beautiful soul to foster dogs, cats, humans etc. Be proud of who you are and how much help you have given to these greyhounds Julien! You and Jenna are wonderful to share your love and home with them! Each dog has left a paw print on your lives in the best way possible and you helped them find their forever homes!
The way Julen can articulate his thoughts in a way that educates and normalises tough/sometimes uncomfortable topics is just so rad. I learn from him constantly and I’m so thankful he’s a creator I can consume daily. Big love ❤️
On the "I could never foster" also somewhat implies that you are somehow heartless or less emotionally invested in the dog than they would be, which is not the case at all, you're just playing a vital role in that dogs journey to a forever home
Fostering is SO. HARD. I foster neonatal kittens and letting them go after raiding them is incredibly hard and you absolutely miss them but the happiness you feel knowing the animals you love are going to loving and happy families is endless. It takes a special person to be able to foster. But you are absolutely correct, Julien. The animal you are fostering is the top priority and they ALL matter. Keep giving those iggys the best chance they’ve had in their whole lives.
oh gosh that sounds so difficult! i remember the pet shop i used to work at, had kittens for adoption and we worked directly with foster care organizations, and just seeing them talk about their fostering experience was amazing and the amount of strength they have and struggles and bills and vets that they had to go through. we had one bunch of neonatal kittens brought in, with the incubator and having to bottle feed them… I was so terrified I would screw something up because they’re just so little and fragile and it worried the heck out of me lol. i gained even more respect to those that do that on a daily basis. thank you for doing what you do
I've fostered a litter of kittens and I can't wait to raise another. It's so tiring (literally and emotionally) but it feels like such a gift. Every day I focused on the long happy life each kitten would have with their future family, and I was happy to play a small part in that story. Thank you for fostering!
Thank you for sharing this. I have been guilty in the past for saying stuff like “I could never such and such” and not even realize how that may come across to someone else. It never came from a selfish place in my eyes because I thought I was paying them a compliment for doing such a selfless act or that they were strong to be able to do what they do. But after hearing you talk about it, I can see how it comes across. I’ll definitely be more mindful moving on and steer away from saying stuff like that to people. ❤️
I just wanted to say I think it's really cool you could reflect and understand why that isn't the best thing to say. I have a disability and in the past when I've told people about it I got responses like "I could never live like that" and I understand they were trying to commend my strength, but it just made me feel awful and like they thought my life was horrible or not worth living lol. So reading your comment made me feel better and I hope more people will realize how harmful that line of thinking is. 😊
Oh my god haha the "I could never..." happens constantly. I always try to take it as an awkward compliment (I don't drink anymore and people always say "oh my god I could never" when they offer me a drink. And it's annoying that it happens every single time. I get It though. It was hard to stop drinking and it's been wonderful for me, so it feels like people are awkwardly reiterating that it is hard to not drink.) It does sometimes come off like they're saying my choice is weird and judging it though. So I understand the intention behind the phrase but I wish it wasn't the automatic response.
My husband had two little sisters adopted through the foster system. Nothing about them being a part of our family is a fail. Thank you for sharing, Julien.
Fostering is the hardest thing I've ever done. The emotional toll is heavy. I love each one of them like they're my own and a part of my heart goes with them when they leave. "Once you find something that means that much to you, the rest literally doesn't matter."
My fur baby came from a foster and she was so incredible. Luna struggled in the shelter and she stayed in foster for over a year until we adopted her. Her foster mom helped my transition into being a first time dog mom so smooth and has been there to answer any question I have. She specifically fosters pitbull/bully mixes and gives so much love to a breed that gets so much hate. Everything she does is so selfless and full of love for these animals. Foster parents are truly angels.
You can never fail at fostering as long as you're doing good by the animal you're fostering, it's a stupid and discouraging term. A happy animal is always a win!
I totally connected with the "I could never do that," part of the video. I'm near tears just realizing how harmful that phrase really is in my life. I had a life-changing surgery when I was 17 - and all I hear is something like "Girl, how did you do that? I could never," from other people. Family, friends, and strangers. It just hurts because I think, "Actually, I don't know how I did it, and most days I wish it never happened." I know they're trying to give me credit for my bravery, strength, and resilience by comparing their own life to mine...but it has done more harm than good. And I'm working hard to weed that phrase out of my immediate responses because I know it hurts more than it heals.
You and Jenna have higher EQ than anyone else I’ve watched on RUclips. It’s one of the many reasons I love you both so much. I’m so grateful y’all put such goodness out into the world. ❤️
Whenever you have a connection with a foster people jump to foster fail but having a connection and still knowing it's your job to part with that doggo, it's such a vital and underappreciated role. Sometimes I almost feel like people are disappointed when you DON'T fail but it's like ... I'd rather help many dogs find a new and suitable home than find one doggo for myself, especially knowing that another home is probably more suitable. Being a safe space for a greyhound is so special. Something that I struggled with at adoption events was people choosing dogs based on young young/pretty/skinny they were.
I hope everyone in the chat realizes HOW vital the adoption and foster relationship and role is. U CAN do it #Dink Fam. All animals NEED us to be the ones who care for them, and have the level heads. Our home personally cannot foster or adopt at this time. But we support those who do in all ways.
I agree about people being the problem! I used to work with a greyhound prison adoption program but we also fostered in homes too. Even if a person fostering decides to adopt that dog how is that in any way a fail? That dog still got a wonderful home! Great that you clarified how people's words can be taken in a different way when they are focused on self & not on helping who they are talking to. Bless you for what you do for greyhounds.
i hope when i have a home that i can foster and save animals just like you . thank you for publicizing the dog fostering system and having those conversations , that what people say , is not productive
It may be intended that way but at the end of the day its a statement that centres yourself, unasked for, and has negative implications on the person who does do it. Also when you hear it said day in & day out it grates on you. "oh I could never!" then don't 🤷♀️
Also, it's about the dogs personally and people basing comments "I'd keep you" on looks are people that don't understand dogs. My two dogs when they were young, were beautiful, but only certain people and temperaments could handle them. Also, I'm not ready to foster yet, but one day I can't wait.
I have watched this a few days ago and the advice he gave about not saying I'm proud of you but instead say you should be proud of yourself etc. Really sticked with me. I've been trying to say things more from that perspective and I think this was the best advice I've gotten in a long time. Thank you so much for the different perspective! I really appreciate the way you make us think about things. You make us better people, Julien
I fostered a dog for almost 6 months last year and it was the most joyous moment when he went to his forever home. He was so excited to meet his new family and new doggie friends. It broke my heart for a while, but I became great friends with his new family and get updates a lot. He lives such a good life now, better than I could ever give him and I get to continue helping animals who are in need. Fostering is vital in the rescuing process. I have been looked down on because I'm young, but in the end it's for the animals
I think most people who say things like "oh I could never foster/say goodbye" should be saying instead is "wow, kudos to you and thank you for what you do because I know it ain't easy but the dogs need it" I just wish they would say what they mean instead. Like... I volunteer for a cat rescue once a week to give the foster kittens their shots, dewormer, flea meds, and to do some dishes and laundry or whatever else needs done. I can't foster right now for a bunch of different reasons, but that's why I offer my time, knowledge, and assistance in other ways to help out the foster cats. Similarly, I know I couldn't handle the stresses of fostering human children, but volunteer as a CASA so I can at least help a few of the foster youth. Like... there are so many other things those people could say instead. Or different ways they could still help the greyhound rescue because it takes so many people to keep a rescue running smoothly qnd there are so many other volunteer positions available than just fostering.
the way that julien talks about how people make situations about them (most of the time, it is malicious) is totally on point. I have a chronic illness. Im in pain 100% of the time and I'm immunocompromised. And all the time I hear "oh man. i could never deal with that type of illness". And I'm like ?? okay ?? - there's no reason to make some else's issue about yourself.
My parents have adopted greys since the early 90s and it feels so good to give them homes. But Julien is right i never realized saying i could never was so bad. My dad says it constantly. I’m proud of you for helping these dogs Julien seriously. Thank you for caring about them and caring for them. As someone who grew up with greyhounds it means a lot to me.
I work at a doggy daycare and boarding. Every single one of them matters, no matter whose “cutest”, quietest, craziest. They’re all special and deserving of love and attention.
and i’m so happy he talked about this. like it really gave me insight into what it’s like fostering and how our language and words can be taken. i will remember this
I foster for rescues and raised service dogs for a non profit organization, and I always hated when people said " I couldn't give them up." Like I understand where they come from but it definitely makes you feel like you don't care enough about that dog, which is definitely false. I cried when I turned my service dogs in to professional training, but now I'm proud to see them as working dogs which is what they were bred for. Fosters it depends, the more work I put in the more emotional attachment, I had one foster that I was really attached to and she made so much progress that when she was adopted I definitely cried but her owner loves her so much and spoils her and sends little updates every once in awhile.
I lost my doggo a couple of months ago, and now I volunteer at the local grey pound, chatting and walking and generally socialising these lovely bouncy houndies. It helps my heart, which some days feels seriously broken from losing my best boi. I might foster next year when the time is better, and I hope I can do as good a job as Jenna and Julen. Love your work xxx (and .... um .... perspective from a 50 something here, long time gamer, early adopter blah blah. Not all 50 somethings are Karens. We started our partying in the 80's and we were flock of cool!)
ever since you've started to show your process of fostering i've been thinking 'i would love to do that' but i don't have the experience, the time and the monetary resources to take care of more dogs yet... i'm very impressed with the work that you guys are doing and happy that your main/sole focus is in the dogs' well being because that's where it should be. thanks for everything you're doing for these pups. people can really suck sometimes and the worst part is, many people just don't put that much thought into how stupid stuff they are saying might come across
thank you julen for continuing to share your fostering journey with us and educating us about the process ❤️ love you and thanks for doing amazing work
The thing for me is that fostering takes a lot, and by bringing an animal into my home, I know that I would become too attached. That's on me. My answer to that is volunteering at the shelter instead. I get to spread myself evenly amongst them all instead of being singularly focused on one animal. You can still do something even if you don't foster. Whether it's walking dogs at the shelter, TNR work, or donating, there is always something you can do that works for you.
As a former foster who wound up adopting their foster, I can def say Julien made great points. We fostered 4 cats prior to the one I adopted and any time someone would say “oh you’re totally gonna fail,” I was genuinely offended because I knew that wasn’t the case, that this animal was not for me, I was just their temporary home. From the second I met my cat I knew that they were my baby, and that I was going to be her forever home. My goal in the future when I don’t live with other roommates is to foster more cats, and have my cat help to socialize other cats. I don’t like to think of her as a failure, if anything it’s like hiring an assistant!
Nothing but mad respect for people who foster. I have a friend whose family together fosters ENTIRE PUPPY LITTERS, like, that's what they're set up for, they have a constant rotation of puppies in their house, sometimes as many as six at a time in those big litters. People who've never had puppies do not know how INCREDIBLY EXHAUSTING AND TIME CONSUMING THAT WOULD BE. That's like being a full-time live-in nanny for free! I barely have time and energy to take care of myself, my family, and my two cats, when I think about adding the hard work of fostering on top of that... @_@ Some people are really amazing, that's all I can say! I feel like it's even more intense than volunteering at shelters (which I do) because the work "follows you home," so to speak. I fostered one (1) sick dog for the shelter I worked at and she peed on me about a dozen times. X'D HARD. WORK.
I love this 💕 thank you for sharing this! I’ve always wanted to foster dogs and watching the way you handle it has been really helpful! I was worried I “wouldn’t be able to do it” but the perspective julien shows of how it’s about the dog it isn’t about you has me feeling like it’s something I would really love to do once I have the resources. not for myself, not so I can have more cute doggos running around, but so I can help a dog live comfortably until it finds its forever home. thank you for helping explain the proper mindset when going in to foster!
Totally feel this. When we were fostering cats and kittens there would be times when people would obsess over one kitten out of the litter. I can't recall how many times friends or family would come over and say something like "oh my god you HAVE to keep that one"... It just made me so sad because they would show way more interest and affection towards that kitten because they thought it was cuter. Also the rescue we used to foster for would constantly get messaged by people wanting to "reserve" a kitten from the day its photo was posted because it was fluffy or had an interesting coloring compared to its siblings.
I used to foster kittens mostly for the animal shelter where I used to live. Bottle babies are hard but they seemed to easy to give back when they're old enough to be adopted out. I only fostered one dog. She was a shepherd pit hound mix. I had seen her at the shelter the year before and she was adopted and "lost" and we couldnt get in contact with the family. She was on her last day at the shelter before being put down and I almost demanded to foster her until they found an official rescue to take her. She was incredibly sweet, even with other foster kittens, and my roommate absolutely loved her too. The day I had to take her back to the shelter to be picked up by the rescue, she was shaking. She probably felt like she was being returned once again and unwanted, but she was so wanted I sacrificed my summer to save her life. I hope shes doing well. I still have the shitty collar she came to me in before I got her a new one. I hope shes doing well. That was a good dog.
It takes a lot of time, energy, and resources to do what you’re doing Julien! to introduce new dogs to yours so often, help new dogs adjust to unexploited life, experience so many firsts with them and make them the best they can be for their forever home. Thank you for doing it! It’s important work.
Everything about this video is just… I can’t even explain it. As someone who has spent a lot of their life fostering bottle baby kittens, you said SO many things in this video that I have felt for SO LONG but have not known how to vocalize. Thank you for putting so many of my feelings and experiences into words. And not that you’ve ever felt this, but if you ever feel alone in this please remember you’re not! I relate to this so much. So many people don’t understand why we do what we do. Thank you so so so much Julen. It makes me so emotional, in the best way possible, to know that the foster community has voices like yours within it to speak up for those of us who sometimes don’t know how to vocalize our thoughts. Sending all the love.
i'm so glad these clips make it onto RUclips. I don't get on Twitch much, but I love being able to listen and hear from Julien regardless. A lovely human who creates thoughtful mindsets in his community.
I am really thankful for Julien putting it out there how it makes him feel when people say they "could never". That is certainly something I hadn't thought about. It's good to hear it from that perspective. Also....that hat tho....
So glad to find a community like this one ✨This made my day so much better & that has to count for something. Thank you, you should all be so proud of how inspiring y’all are!!
I feel this way when I tell people I love working with my students but don't really want to have children. "Why put all that effort into someone else's kid?" because that kid is still a PERSON and the difference that teachers and coaches make MATTERS regardless if I'm related to them. If anything we should celebrate "foster fails" because it means that for whatever reason the universe helped them come together and now they get to have a long life journey with their new best friend.
I would love to foster but I simply don't have the resources. I adopted my greyhound through a foster to adopt programme and I learned to appreciate fostering so much deeply. It's tough but so essential and selfless. You need to give these dogs love as if they were your own adopted dogs, because thats what they deserve, it's hard to separate but as Julien said so perfectly, it's worth everything to see the dog go on and have a beautiful life
I love hearing this side of things. We don't mind the venting julien!! There's a lot of people who say that and it's important that they know how it makes a foster parent feel. Of course it's all with good intentions but i think this is important to see and hear this side of it. Edit: also being judged for being young, for how you look etc... I cannot tell you how much I relate to this. I'll be 30 soon but when I was in my early 20s the amount of THIS that I would get just sucked and I still get it sometimes. But it's dumb that it slowly SLOWLY slows down as you get older.
When I've said it by the past it was not for making myself better but more about the culpability that I can't and I also said how impressed and grateful for the animals, that the people I was talking with had the strength I don't. I'll limit myself to the grateful part for now on ❤️
I definitely have been guilty of saying I could never do what you do as a testament to their strength but now that I hear how it can be taken I will try to say it more clearly. I admire your strength to do (this valuable hard work).
Yes to this so much! I'm a veterinary student and having people tell me all the time "I could never euthanize an animal. It would be too sad." It's just hard to explain that it makes it sound like I'm not affected by it? That I'm not sad? Some people just don't understand how the "I could never" really hurts to hear.
There were some hard things to hear in this, but it’s good to hear. Things that I didn’t realize were said to fosters currently fostering and creates this negative feeling when you hear it. I’m currently awed just by how much we do fight to preserve things we’ve normalized and how much work it takes to actually listen. It’s not too often I actually feel the gears turning in my own head.
I also foster, and people’s first question is always “why don’t you just adopt them?” like what do you mean??? I don’t adopt them so I can foster and save more dogs. That’s the point of fostering. It’s such a weird question that I get EVERY time I meet someone.
I definitely get the "oh I could never," when talking about adopting my grey. No matter what it is, foster, vegetarian, whatever, "I could never," is just code for "I don't want to do what you're doing because that seems like hard work" ok? dont?
julien always has such interesting and strong views, listening to him talk about things he’s passionate about never gets old (especially when his arguments are as valid and important as this!!)
I love this! I'm a vet student and I'll be on placements and clients will say "oh I could never put down an animal" or "I could never be a vet". But that's not all the job is! And cool if you can't do that, it doesnt mean that you love animals more than me, don't make me feel like I'm doing a bad thing. Not the exact same thing, but just felt on a similar vein.
Fostering is so important I’m a palliative care foster for cats and it’s so incredibly rewarding while also being heartbreaking. I completely understand what people mean when they say they could never but at the same time it’s almost a bit hurtful, not all but most people will always prefer to foster kittens or adult cats over the sick cats (and I don’t mean that in a bad way I do get why people choose not to) so I give elderly and sick cats a home for their final days or months or however long they have left. Seeing them blossom and become different cats while thriving in a home for those last moments is honestly what I live for. I’ve been with so many of the cats at the shelter or my own fosters as they have crossed the rainbow bridge I will drop everything and rush to the vet if someone else can’t be there with them because even though it’s hard they deserve a familiar face to hold them while they pass. So to anyone that fosters you are a wonderful human and thank you for doing what you do! ❤️
when I use the phrase, "Oh I could never do/live like ____" I'm coming from a place of trying to say how much I respect what someone else is going through and how strong or resilient they are for handling a certain struggle/way of life in a way I wouldn't be strong enough to. I never meant for it to be like how you describe it being/coming across as. It' eye-opening to see how negatively it's taken by some people and that I should rethink how I'm saying certain things.
Yes. 100% this. I went from fostering into training and now I get the “oh your job must be so fun! You just get to play with and pet dogs all day!” ...okay tell that to the scars on my body from the moments I wasn’t fast enough to prevent a fear aggressive dog from redirecting on me. Tell that to me when I’m crying with my client of half a decade as we lie their companion to rest. Tell me my job is all fun and games one more time and I’m going to blow a gasket. Not really. I hear it at least once a month if not once a week. I just wish people thought about what they’re saying.
Thanks for this convo Julie. I like hearing people being real about things so I can try to improve in my life. I think I'm guilty of this sometimes. I genuinely care and want to give compliments to show my appreciation, but I'm awkward and anxious. The context of what I'm trying to say sometimes comes out wrong, especially when I'm trying to fill silence in a convo. I end up overthinking things or blurting things out. But i understand many people are stuck, ignorant, judgemental and condescending. People are frustrating creatures. Love to you and all the many doggos you're able to help💗🐕
I genuinely try to remain positive because I remember Julien and Jenna doing their best to see the silver lining in things. I do my best to be accepting and non-judgmental. Thank you both 💓
I actually reached out to a local shelter to foster bc of you Julen! Currently taking care of a momma cat and 7 kittens, five of whom have eye deformities. It’s so much work but it’s the most rewarding ☺️
I've recently become gluten intolerant and have already had people tell me "I'd kill myself if I were you" and other stuff along those lines, and every time I'm just 😬, okay guess I'll go die, thanks
As someone that worked at a humane society with mainly the most difficult behavioral cases in the clinic I love hearing other people discuss the animal industry because the people that come into the shelter are so annoying at times and insensitive. They would say “I could never deal with aggression or food issues” or “I could never work here I’d want to take all the animals home” and I wouldn’t ever know what to say because if you can’t handle certain things that’s fine but they truly weren’t influencing anyone positively just bringing the trainers and dogs down at the facility 😒 love to hear others discuss this cuz it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
people outside of the animal care industry just do not understand the work put into it. they see it as an easy breezy, fun experience. when really, it's usually stressful and challenging. it's not fun, but it's rewarding. so, so rewarding.
Very interesting train of thoughts. I have said that "i could never" before, and while yes, I realise that it's also to comfort myself, in some way it also serves as a compliment. By saying that, one could mean: wow, you're so strong for putting these dogs/cats needs and care before your own emotional attachment, it shows how brave and emotionally strong you are.
Definitely the energy they come into the sphere of your good deeds with.... So weird. Thank you for fostering Loni and so many other good babies. Ultimately people need to think more!
I’m freshly out of college and am going to be starting a work from home job. It may be temporary or it may be longer term depending on different circumstances, so it feels slightly irresponsible to adopt but I’ve always wanted to rescue so I’ve been researching fostering to help out doggies while my future is still unknown. I asked my sister who rescued 2 doggies for her opinion and she said “but what if you get too attached?” and honestly deterred me so much. But at the end of the day I just want to help out a dog and help them find a home…. This helps so much thank you Julien ❤️
Wow this was so well said and I’m definitely gonna look at my response for when others are fostering/or other things like that. Julien is so clearly emotionally mature and yet is able to be silly and have fun at the same time. I will continue to support him until he doesn’t want support, for my own selfish want to improve myself by watching him ♥️
Omg I totally relate to the celiac disease thing with “I could never live like that”. It’s like “well if you were sick every day and a doctor told you that you had to, you would” but like lucky you I guess, right?
Yes working in a shelter people all the time say “I could never work here id take them all home.” That’s not the point! It’s almost a backhanded compliment saying you must be heartless in order to work here. Yes it’s hard and yes we have emotions but in order to do our job and what’s best for the animals we have to hold back our emotions.
I really, genuinely love when Julien talks and shares more about his feelings because it's so nice to see guys talking about and normalizing emotions like sadness and crying. It means a ton to hear that. And I'm also so proud of you, Julien & Jenna for dedicating so much of your life to make the world better for others.
YES !! Big big yes to this comment !! Couldn’t have said it any better:) the beauty of it too is that they not only make the world better in the work they do such as fostering and raising money and awareness for such worthwhile and important causes/charities etc, but also in the lessons we’re being taught subconsciously about things like identity and image and gender norms just from watching someone like Julen just be Julen
True!
"The worst part of everything is people" may be the truest and most wise quote I've ever heard Julien say. That is FACT!
Especially in current times
Breeders grind my gears and I feel that quote for this.
A foster program literally saved my dog's life. My dog was going to be euthanized as she was at a high rate kill shelter and was too aggressive to be adopted. She was selected for a prison foster system where the inmates would train her and get her ready for her forever home. There would be days where we would be cuddling and I would look down at her face and think you almost died. I sadly lost her last year due to cancer but she was my world and I am so thankful for the foster system which gave her a second chance and brought her to me.
Thank you for sharing your story 💕Im also in for letting prisons take animals (cats or dogs) to help them get adopted. If this can save all of the euthanized animals in shelter, im all in😁 My cat is a shelter cat and she moved 3x before we could have her (bought our first house). Here they dont kill, they move them to other shelters after 3-4months. Can you imagine the stress of a car ride on a cat😔.. Awful to live like that..wish i could get more kitty but with a 4y daughter & 1y pitbull. My hands are full enough😆
Julien is seriously such a beautiful human. I sometimes get really pessimistic about human beings. The dink fam and Julien always help ground me and remind me good people exist in this world.
We're all different ages and stages, but we have a commitment to supporting people who want to press forward and past human weakness. To champion or back the fighters for better. We're all on the same planet, have the same basic makeup/chemicals in our bodies, literally, family ❤️
This is why I love Julien and the dink fam💛💛
I can relate to this very much as someone who volunteered at an animal shelter. People constantly were saying "I could never do that, I care too much or get too attached", definitely felt weird because it made it almost feel like you didn't care "enough" since you are able to say goodbye. If anything I cared so much that I was able to say goodbye, I was overjoyed to see an animal get adopted because that meant they got to go live the best life that I knew they deserved. I also already had two cats and I couldn't imagine owning more because they were my special babies that I dedicated my time and money towards, if I constantly adopted every animal at the shelter I would be broke and no one else would get to feel the love that I experienced adopting/owing animals. Thank you for sharing your stories and opinions Julien much love
Exactly!!!
I neverminded when people said it.. I never took it as I didnt care enough.. its selfless work that I love to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But like why take it personally. It’s just people expressing that something would be difficult for THEM it’s not about you other to say they admire you for being stronger and more resilient than them. I volunteer at my local shelter and when people say that I’m like okay cool same reaction as if they told me they didn’t like soup.
Yes absolutely! I work in shelter work and trust me, if we didn’t care more than the average person, there’s no way in hell we would go through all of that lmao so I definitely don’t get when ppl say stuff like that
Yeah, it's not about how much you care. I don't think I can foster because I have mental health issues that are triggered by loss. It's not about me caring more than someone else, it's probably more about me being more easily dysregulated than someone else. A person telling you they can't foster means they know their limit, which is the important part. Maybe if they fostered, they can't trust that they will stay functional enough to be able to keep helping animals. Or maybe they have a really triggering day job that already causes a lot of pain and stress (e.g. they work with a high risk population, or at a hospital, or as a therapist, etc.), and they don't think they could handle fostering on top of that. That would suggest that fostering isn't the best way for them to help animals.
I can volunteer at shelters. I can adopt animals, even high needs animals. I cannot foster. I don't think knowing I have that limit is selfish. If I can't stay functional, I can't help anyone, not even myself.
I have definitely said “i could never” with people fostering cats and I never realized about the negative implications it sounded. for me when i said it, it was about me unable to have the willpower and strength to let a cat go to a forever home because i would want to adopt it. that i would be too attached. not saying those who do foster aren’t attached. but i see on the other side how it sounds, i’ll definitely change my wording to something more positive towards a foster parent and admiration for their strength
Also when I said it by the past I said that I'm really impress and grateful that people have the strength I don't. But I'll also not say it and say only the it's wonderful the good you're doing!
Yeah that’s how I felt, it’s said as a compliment. I don’t think I would hear that the negative way.
I love how Julien chooses to educate people in a way that isn’t rude or degrading. He knows that sometimes people don’t see a certain situation in the same way he or others might, and that’s ok. He just wants to educate in a peaceful, productive way. I genuinely love Juliens energy, he is an amazing human being
In my mind and in this context, “I could never” means “you are so much stronger and braver than I am and I am in awe of how big your heart is.” The anticipation of the strong emotions and pain of saying goodbye keep me from doing stuff like this and yet you are so brave for selflessly confronting that with each new pup in need of a home. It never occurred to me that it could sound like the opposite but I completely understand what you mean.
People can really be a lot sometimes. I'm type 1 diabetic and I get told "I could never give myself shots every day" and it's just like... okay? Thanks? Glad you don't have to then? I know it's meant from a good place but it just feels kinda condescending to me. Thanks for opening up about this, you're a great foster dogdad and you're making such a huge difference
Foster mom here.. I have so much love for foster fails. At the end of the day, that pup was lovingly homed. It is so hard to foster, and successful foster parents like you and Jenna are really not the norm. Y'all are the exception. No matter what, at the end of the day, we are all doing our best to love these pups.
That said, the hate you're getting based on your look and age is effed up. People are definitely the worst part about fostering.
People R the reason for animal cruelty, overpopulation, misplacement, all the bad. But we r the most intelligent.
Yeah, I commented something similar. Imo, as foster parents, I just try to bring out the best in the pet and find the best home. If the best home is with the foster, then that's great! "Foster fails" occur for many reasons. Pros at fostering who do it for decades sometimes "fail." Sometimes there is a pet that would never get adopted out if the person fostering did not adopt it. Sometimes people just fall in love with their first foster. There's also a lot of foster to adopt situations. It just happens! A pet has a loving home at the end of the day, and that's what matters
Imagine someone saying Julien doesn't have the emotional capacity to do something.... but for real, watching you and Jenna interact was the first time I saw an example of a healthy, caring relationship. So thank you for being awesome 😊
I've definitely made joking foster fail comments, and as someone who's never fostered a dog, this perspective is really helpful for understanding Julien's perspective and the whole concept of what fostering is actually for. I really appreciate Julien speaking on things like this and it's incredibly helpful to growing perception of processes like this. We're all growing as people, and I think one way people can really grow is by understanding sometimes it needs to be about just the animals first, not the people.
Edit: PS, the sentiment on "I could NEVER foster.." reminds me so much of when people find out I'm vegan and they start saying how and why they could never go vegan. And then it's like...how are we supposed to respond to that, you know?
If you are vegan for reasons of kindness to animals, you could encourage them to try vegetarian, or mention companies like Upside which are growing meat by replicating cells instead of killing animals. Now that the technology exists, we could literally do away with the slaughter of animals even for those who refuse to or cannot give up meat (nutritionally I would find it very difficult to go vegan because I am heavily allergic to mushrooms.)
I can't imagine "complimenting a dog" by telling the foster parents that they're going to fail. I think it's incredibly wonderful that you guys do what you can to help these animals get ready for a forever home.
I work in an animal shelter and have people say all the time "I don't know how you work here/I could never work here/doesn't it just make you want to cry all the time". It makes me feel bad like they think im some emotionless person who doesn't get sad about it when in reality I just have a perspective of "I would rather them be here where they are warm/safe/fed/loved than be on the street or in a bad home. Also when people are like "oh he loves you you should adopt him" yeah he loves me he sees me 4 days a week for 10 hours a day if I took home all the dogs I felt an emotional connection with I would be an animal hoarder...
I'm sorry that you've had to go through that. Ppl like u are so important 💗 the most selfless thing is to care for animals who wouldn't have a voice themselves and giving them a warm place to stay, food, love etc. Thank you for all you do there are certainly ppl out there who appreciate you
2.5 yrs ago, I adopted a greyhound after watching Bunny. Still the best decision in my life! Now I'm thinking about start fostering and it's a great deal of responsibility to take on. Thank you, Julien and Jenna!
Realizing how much "quieter" this conversation actually felt in the absence of trying to simultaneously read chat going 1000 mph 😂
My wife and I foster (human) kids and have a very similar experience in so many ways. This resonated with me so much. Fostering is not easy, a lot of people do not understand it or why we want to do it. I’m the same age as you Julien, and I totally get the “you don’t seem old enough to do this” reaction people have. I could list my gripes but I just wanted to say I totally get your frustrations.
I've seen so many of those comments every time there's a new dog introduced: 'I sense a foster fail!'
I think they do mean well, but it can be quite overwhelming
Especially after what you've said about not being able to foster anymore if you adopted another dog
I have absolutely said, many times, “I could never foster.” And I’ve never thought of it as a problematic or not-so-complimentary thing to say. This was really insightful and I appreciate this! I always meant it as more of a “you are so much stronger than I am” comment, but I do see that it isn’t really a necessary thing to say. It’s not that I’m weak and you’re strong, we are just different! Thank you Julen ❤️
It takes a strong beautiful soul to foster dogs, cats, humans etc. Be proud of who you are and how much help you have given to these greyhounds Julien! You and Jenna are wonderful to share your love and home with them! Each dog has left a paw print on your lives in the best way possible and you helped them find their forever homes!
The way Julen can articulate his thoughts in a way that educates and normalises tough/sometimes uncomfortable topics is just so rad. I learn from him constantly and I’m so thankful he’s a creator I can consume daily. Big love ❤️
This was incredibly well spoken- love this julie
On the "I could never foster" also somewhat implies that you are somehow heartless or less emotionally invested in the dog than they would be, which is not the case at all, you're just playing a vital role in that dogs journey to a forever home
Fostering is SO. HARD. I foster neonatal kittens and letting them go after raiding them is incredibly hard and you absolutely miss them but the happiness you feel knowing the animals you love are going to loving and happy families is endless. It takes a special person to be able to foster. But you are absolutely correct, Julien. The animal you are fostering is the top priority and they ALL matter. Keep giving those iggys the best chance they’ve had in their whole lives.
oh gosh that sounds so difficult! i remember the pet shop i used to work at, had kittens for adoption and we worked directly with foster care organizations, and just seeing them talk about their fostering experience was amazing and the amount of strength they have and struggles and bills and vets that they had to go through. we had one bunch of neonatal kittens brought in, with the incubator and having to bottle feed them… I was so terrified I would screw something up because they’re just so little and fragile and it worried the heck out of me lol. i gained even more respect to those that do that on a daily basis. thank you for doing what you do
I've fostered a litter of kittens and I can't wait to raise another. It's so tiring (literally and emotionally) but it feels like such a gift. Every day I focused on the long happy life each kitten would have with their future family, and I was happy to play a small part in that story. Thank you for fostering!
Thank you for sharing this. I have been guilty in the past for saying stuff like “I could never such and such” and not even realize how that may come across to someone else. It never came from a selfish place in my eyes because I thought I was paying them a compliment for doing such a selfless act or that they were strong to be able to do what they do. But after hearing you talk about it, I can see how it comes across. I’ll definitely be more mindful moving on and steer away from saying stuff like that to people. ❤️
I just wanted to say I think it's really cool you could reflect and understand why that isn't the best thing to say. I have a disability and in the past when I've told people about it I got responses like "I could never live like that" and I understand they were trying to commend my strength, but it just made me feel awful and like they thought my life was horrible or not worth living lol. So reading your comment made me feel better and I hope more people will realize how harmful that line of thinking is. 😊
Oh my god haha the "I could never..." happens constantly. I always try to take it as an awkward compliment (I don't drink anymore and people always say "oh my god I could never" when they offer me a drink. And it's annoying that it happens every single time. I get It though. It was hard to stop drinking and it's been wonderful for me, so it feels like people are awkwardly reiterating that it is hard to not drink.) It does sometimes come off like they're saying my choice is weird and judging it though. So I understand the intention behind the phrase but I wish it wasn't the automatic response.
This💗
My husband had two little sisters adopted through the foster system. Nothing about them being a part of our family is a fail. Thank you for sharing, Julien.
Fostering is the hardest thing I've ever done. The emotional toll is heavy. I love each one of them like they're my own and a part of my heart goes with them when they leave.
"Once you find something that means that much to you, the rest literally doesn't matter."
My fur baby came from a foster and she was so incredible. Luna struggled in the shelter and she stayed in foster for over a year until we adopted her. Her foster mom helped my transition into being a first time dog mom so smooth and has been there to answer any question I have. She specifically fosters pitbull/bully mixes and gives so much love to a breed that gets so much hate. Everything she does is so selfless and full of love for these animals. Foster parents are truly angels.
You can never fail at fostering as long as you're doing good by the animal you're fostering, it's a stupid and discouraging term. A happy animal is always a win!
I totally connected with the "I could never do that," part of the video. I'm near tears just realizing how harmful that phrase really is in my life. I had a life-changing surgery when I was 17 - and all I hear is something like "Girl, how did you do that? I could never," from other people. Family, friends, and strangers. It just hurts because I think, "Actually, I don't know how I did it, and most days I wish it never happened." I know they're trying to give me credit for my bravery, strength, and resilience by comparing their own life to mine...but it has done more harm than good. And I'm working hard to weed that phrase out of my immediate responses because I know it hurts more than it heals.
And now Loni is adopted 🥰♥️ BEP BEP BEP
You and Jenna have higher EQ than anyone else I’ve watched on RUclips. It’s one of the many reasons I love you both so much. I’m so grateful y’all put such goodness out into the world. ❤️
Whenever you have a connection with a foster people jump to foster fail but having a connection and still knowing it's your job to part with that doggo, it's such a vital and underappreciated role. Sometimes I almost feel like people are disappointed when you DON'T fail but it's like ... I'd rather help many dogs find a new and suitable home than find one doggo for myself, especially knowing that another home is probably more suitable. Being a safe space for a greyhound is so special. Something that I struggled with at adoption events was people choosing dogs based on young young/pretty/skinny they were.
I hope everyone in the chat realizes HOW vital the adoption and foster relationship and role is. U CAN do it #Dink Fam. All animals NEED us to be the ones who care for them, and have the level heads. Our home personally cannot foster or adopt at this time. But we support those who do in all ways.
I agree about people being the problem! I used to work with a greyhound prison adoption program but we also fostered in homes too. Even if a person fostering decides to adopt that dog how is that in any way a fail? That dog still got a wonderful home! Great that you clarified how people's words can be taken in a different way when they are focused on self & not on helping who they are talking to. Bless you for what you do for greyhounds.
i hope when i have a home that i can foster and save animals just like you . thank you for publicizing the dog fostering system and having those conversations , that what people say , is not productive
My little dog son was cared for at a foster based shelter for several months, I am so grateful to those people that have him a temporary home.
I think people saying "I could never _____." is usually meant as a sign of respect or acknowledgement that something is hard.
It may be intended that way but at the end of the day its a statement that centres yourself, unasked for, and has negative implications on the person who does do it. Also when you hear it said day in & day out it grates on you. "oh I could never!" then don't 🤷♀️
Also, it's about the dogs personally and people basing comments "I'd keep you" on looks are people that don't understand dogs. My two dogs when they were young, were beautiful, but only certain people and temperaments could handle them.
Also, I'm not ready to foster yet, but one day I can't wait.
I have watched this a few days ago and the advice he gave about not saying I'm proud of you but instead say you should be proud of yourself etc. Really sticked with me. I've been trying to say things more from that perspective and I think this was the best advice I've gotten in a long time. Thank you so much for the different perspective! I really appreciate the way you make us think about things. You make us better people, Julien
I fostered a dog for almost 6 months last year and it was the most joyous moment when he went to his forever home. He was so excited to meet his new family and new doggie friends. It broke my heart for a while, but I became great friends with his new family and get updates a lot. He lives such a good life now, better than I could ever give him and I get to continue helping animals who are in need. Fostering is vital in the rescuing process. I have been looked down on because I'm young, but in the end it's for the animals
I think most people who say things like "oh I could never foster/say goodbye" should be saying instead is "wow, kudos to you and thank you for what you do because I know it ain't easy but the dogs need it" I just wish they would say what they mean instead.
Like... I volunteer for a cat rescue once a week to give the foster kittens their shots, dewormer, flea meds, and to do some dishes and laundry or whatever else needs done. I can't foster right now for a bunch of different reasons, but that's why I offer my time, knowledge, and assistance in other ways to help out the foster cats.
Similarly, I know I couldn't handle the stresses of fostering human children, but volunteer as a CASA so I can at least help a few of the foster youth.
Like... there are so many other things those people could say instead. Or different ways they could still help the greyhound rescue because it takes so many people to keep a rescue running smoothly qnd there are so many other volunteer positions available than just fostering.
I was in chat when this happened and I was hoping that you would post it here. Thank you for all you've done and will continue to do for these dogs.
the way that julien talks about how people make situations about them (most of the time, it is malicious) is totally on point. I have a chronic illness. Im in pain 100% of the time and I'm immunocompromised. And all the time I hear "oh man. i could never deal with that type of illness". And I'm like ?? okay ?? - there's no reason to make some else's issue about yourself.
My parents have adopted greys since the early 90s and it feels so good to give them homes. But Julien is right i never realized saying i could never was so bad. My dad says it constantly. I’m proud of you for helping these dogs Julien seriously. Thank you for caring about them and caring for them. As someone who grew up with greyhounds it means a lot to me.
I work at a doggy daycare and boarding. Every single one of them matters, no matter whose “cutest”, quietest, craziest. They’re all special and deserving of love and attention.
they are doing such a great job. the dogs deserve it. the dogs are lucky to have julien and he is lucky to help them
and i’m so happy he talked about this. like it really gave me insight into what it’s like fostering and how our language and words can be taken. i will remember this
I foster for rescues and raised service dogs for a non profit organization, and I always hated when people said " I couldn't give them up." Like I understand where they come from but it definitely makes you feel like you don't care enough about that dog, which is definitely false. I cried when I turned my service dogs in to professional training, but now I'm proud to see them as working dogs which is what they were bred for. Fosters it depends, the more work I put in the more emotional attachment, I had one foster that I was really attached to and she made so much progress that when she was adopted I definitely cried but her owner loves her so much and spoils her and sends little updates every once in awhile.
I lost my doggo a couple of months ago, and now I volunteer at the local grey pound, chatting and walking and generally socialising these lovely bouncy houndies. It helps my heart, which some days feels seriously broken from losing my best boi. I might foster next year when the time is better, and I hope I can do as good a job as Jenna and Julen. Love your work xxx (and .... um .... perspective from a 50 something here, long time gamer, early adopter blah blah. Not all 50 somethings are Karens. We started our partying in the 80's and we were flock of cool!)
ever since you've started to show your process of fostering i've been thinking 'i would love to do that' but i don't have the experience, the time and the monetary resources to take care of more dogs yet... i'm very impressed with the work that you guys are doing and happy that your main/sole focus is in the dogs' well being because that's where it should be. thanks for everything you're doing for these pups. people can really suck sometimes and the worst part is, many people just don't put that much thought into how stupid stuff they are saying might come across
thank you julen for continuing to share your fostering journey with us and educating us about the process ❤️ love you and thanks for doing amazing work
The thing for me is that fostering takes a lot, and by bringing an animal into my home, I know that I would become too attached. That's on me. My answer to that is volunteering at the shelter instead. I get to spread myself evenly amongst them all instead of being singularly focused on one animal. You can still do something even if you don't foster. Whether it's walking dogs at the shelter, TNR work, or donating, there is always something you can do that works for you.
As a former foster who wound up adopting their foster, I can def say Julien made great points. We fostered 4 cats prior to the one I adopted and any time someone would say “oh you’re totally gonna fail,” I was genuinely offended because I knew that wasn’t the case, that this animal was not for me, I was just their temporary home. From the second I met my cat I knew that they were my baby, and that I was going to be her forever home. My goal in the future when I don’t live with other roommates is to foster more cats, and have my cat help to socialize other cats. I don’t like to think of her as a failure, if anything it’s like hiring an assistant!
Nothing but mad respect for people who foster. I have a friend whose family together fosters ENTIRE PUPPY LITTERS, like, that's what they're set up for, they have a constant rotation of puppies in their house, sometimes as many as six at a time in those big litters. People who've never had puppies do not know how INCREDIBLY EXHAUSTING AND TIME CONSUMING THAT WOULD BE. That's like being a full-time live-in nanny for free! I barely have time and energy to take care of myself, my family, and my two cats, when I think about adding the hard work of fostering on top of that... @_@ Some people are really amazing, that's all I can say! I feel like it's even more intense than volunteering at shelters (which I do) because the work "follows you home," so to speak. I fostered one (1) sick dog for the shelter I worked at and she peed on me about a dozen times. X'D HARD. WORK.
I love this 💕 thank you for sharing this! I’ve always wanted to foster dogs and watching the way you handle it has been really helpful! I was worried I “wouldn’t be able to do it” but the perspective julien shows of how it’s about the dog it isn’t about you has me feeling like it’s something I would really love to do once I have the resources. not for myself, not so I can have more cute doggos running around, but so I can help a dog live comfortably until it finds its forever home. thank you for helping explain the proper mindset when going in to foster!
Totally feel this. When we were fostering cats and kittens there would be times when people would obsess over one kitten out of the litter. I can't recall how many times friends or family would come over and say something like "oh my god you HAVE to keep that one"... It just made me so sad because they would show way more interest and affection towards that kitten because they thought it was cuter.
Also the rescue we used to foster for would constantly get messaged by people wanting to "reserve" a kitten from the day its photo was posted because it was fluffy or had an interesting coloring compared to its siblings.
I used to foster kittens mostly for the animal shelter where I used to live. Bottle babies are hard but they seemed to easy to give back when they're old enough to be adopted out. I only fostered one dog. She was a shepherd pit hound mix. I had seen her at the shelter the year before and she was adopted and "lost" and we couldnt get in contact with the family. She was on her last day at the shelter before being put down and I almost demanded to foster her until they found an official rescue to take her. She was incredibly sweet, even with other foster kittens, and my roommate absolutely loved her too. The day I had to take her back to the shelter to be picked up by the rescue, she was shaking. She probably felt like she was being returned once again and unwanted, but she was so wanted I sacrificed my summer to save her life. I hope shes doing well. I still have the shitty collar she came to me in before I got her a new one. I hope shes doing well. That was a good dog.
It takes a lot of time, energy, and resources to do what you’re doing Julien! to introduce new dogs to yours so often, help new dogs adjust to unexploited life, experience so many firsts with them and make them the best they can be for their forever home. Thank you for doing it! It’s important work.
Everything about this video is just… I can’t even explain it. As someone who has spent a lot of their life fostering bottle baby kittens, you said SO many things in this video that I have felt for SO LONG but have not known how to vocalize. Thank you for putting so many of my feelings and experiences into words. And not that you’ve ever felt this, but if you ever feel alone in this please remember you’re not! I relate to this so much. So many people don’t understand why we do what we do. Thank you so so so much Julen. It makes me so emotional, in the best way possible, to know that the foster community has voices like yours within it to speak up for those of us who sometimes don’t know how to vocalize our thoughts. Sending all the love.
i'm so glad these clips make it onto RUclips. I don't get on Twitch much, but I love being able to listen and hear from Julien regardless. A lovely human who creates thoughtful mindsets in his community.
I am really thankful for Julien putting it out there how it makes him feel when people say they "could never". That is certainly something I hadn't thought about. It's good to hear it from that perspective.
Also....that hat tho....
So glad to find a community like this one ✨This made my day so much better & that has to count for something. Thank you, you should all be so proud of how inspiring y’all are!!
I feel this way when I tell people I love working with my students but don't really want to have children. "Why put all that effort into someone else's kid?" because that kid is still a PERSON and the difference that teachers and coaches make MATTERS regardless if I'm related to them. If anything we should celebrate "foster fails" because it means that for whatever reason the universe helped them come together and now they get to have a long life journey with their new best friend.
I would love to foster but I simply don't have the resources. I adopted my greyhound through a foster to adopt programme and I learned to appreciate fostering so much deeply. It's tough but so essential and selfless. You need to give these dogs love as if they were your own adopted dogs, because thats what they deserve, it's hard to separate but as Julien said so perfectly, it's worth everything to see the dog go on and have a beautiful life
I love hearing this side of things. We don't mind the venting julien!! There's a lot of people who say that and it's important that they know how it makes a foster parent feel. Of course it's all with good intentions but i think this is important to see and hear this side of it.
Edit: also being judged for being young, for how you look etc... I cannot tell you how much I relate to this. I'll be 30 soon but when I was in my early 20s the amount of THIS that I would get just sucked and I still get it sometimes. But it's dumb that it slowly SLOWLY slows down as you get older.
Petition for Father of the Year.
When I've said it by the past it was not for making myself better but more about the culpability that I can't and I also said how impressed and grateful for the animals, that the people I was talking with had the strength I don't. I'll limit myself to the grateful part for now on ❤️
I definitely have been guilty of saying I could never do what you do as a testament to their strength but now that I hear how it can be taken I will try to say it more clearly. I admire your strength to do (this valuable hard work).
Yes to this so much! I'm a veterinary student and having people tell me all the time "I could never euthanize an animal. It would be too sad." It's just hard to explain that it makes it sound like I'm not affected by it? That I'm not sad? Some people just don't understand how the "I could never" really hurts to hear.
truly so grateful for the space that Julien has created and so thankful he talks about stuff like this, love ya dinks
There were some hard things to hear in this, but it’s good to hear. Things that I didn’t realize were said to fosters currently fostering and creates this negative feeling when you hear it. I’m currently awed just by how much we do fight to preserve things we’ve normalized and how much work it takes to actually listen. It’s not too often I actually feel the gears turning in my own head.
I also foster, and people’s first question is always “why don’t you just adopt them?” like what do you mean??? I don’t adopt them so I can foster and save more dogs. That’s the point of fostering. It’s such a weird question that I get EVERY time I meet someone.
I definitely get the "oh I could never," when talking about adopting my grey. No matter what it is, foster, vegetarian, whatever, "I could never," is just code for "I don't want to do what you're doing because that seems like hard work" ok? dont?
julien always has such interesting and strong views, listening to him talk about things he’s passionate about never gets old (especially when his arguments are as valid and important as this!!)
Animal fosterers are critical and good. These greyhounds are so lucky to have J&J helping them on their ways to their new families.
I love this! I'm a vet student and I'll be on placements and clients will say "oh I could never put down an animal" or "I could never be a vet". But that's not all the job is! And cool if you can't do that, it doesnt mean that you love animals more than me, don't make me feel like I'm doing a bad thing. Not the exact same thing, but just felt on a similar vein.
Fostering is so important I’m a palliative care foster for cats and it’s so incredibly rewarding while also being heartbreaking. I completely understand what people mean when they say they could never but at the same time it’s almost a bit hurtful, not all but most people will always prefer to foster kittens or adult cats over the sick cats (and I don’t mean that in a bad way I do get why people choose not to) so I give elderly and sick cats a home for their final days or months or however long they have left. Seeing them blossom and become different cats while thriving in a home for those last moments is honestly what I live for. I’ve been with so many of the cats at the shelter or my own fosters as they have crossed the rainbow bridge I will drop everything and rush to the vet if someone else can’t be there with them because even though it’s hard they deserve a familiar face to hold them while they pass. So to anyone that fosters you are a wonderful human and thank you for doing what you do! ❤️
when I use the phrase, "Oh I could never do/live like ____" I'm coming from a place of trying to say how much I respect what someone else is going through and how strong or resilient they are for handling a certain struggle/way of life in a way I wouldn't be strong enough to. I never meant for it to be like how you describe it being/coming across as. It' eye-opening to see how negatively it's taken by some people and that I should rethink how I'm saying certain things.
The "I'm dealing with this too I just realized" moment is a whole a** mood
Yes. 100% this. I went from fostering into training and now I get the “oh your job must be so fun! You just get to play with and pet dogs all day!”
...okay tell that to the scars on my body from the moments I wasn’t fast enough to prevent a fear aggressive dog from redirecting on me. Tell that to me when I’m crying with my client of half a decade as we lie their companion to rest. Tell me my job is all fun and games one more time and I’m going to blow a gasket.
Not really. I hear it at least once a month if not once a week. I just wish people thought about what they’re saying.
this is a really good perspective for any negative/self-reflection or deprecating comment made as a reaction to something new or different tbh
Thanks for this convo Julie. I like hearing people being real about things so I can try to improve in my life. I think I'm guilty of this sometimes. I genuinely care and want to give compliments to show my appreciation, but I'm awkward and anxious. The context of what I'm trying to say sometimes comes out wrong, especially when I'm trying to fill silence in a convo. I end up overthinking things or blurting things out. But i understand many people are stuck, ignorant, judgemental and condescending. People are frustrating creatures. Love to you and all the many doggos you're able to help💗🐕
I genuinely try to remain positive because I remember Julien and Jenna doing their best to see the silver lining in things. I do my best to be accepting and non-judgmental. Thank you both 💓
I actually reached out to a local shelter to foster bc of you Julen! Currently taking care of a momma cat and 7 kittens, five of whom have eye deformities. It’s so much work but it’s the most rewarding ☺️
‘the worst part of everything is people’ is so true. SO TRUE. wars, animal cruelty, everything is human caused. we are the plague.
I've recently become gluten intolerant and have already had people tell me "I'd kill myself if I were you" and other stuff along those lines, and every time I'm just 😬, okay guess I'll go die, thanks
As someone that worked at a humane society with mainly the most difficult behavioral cases in the clinic I love hearing other people discuss the animal industry because the people that come into the shelter are so annoying at times and insensitive. They would say “I could never deal with aggression or food issues” or “I could never work here I’d want to take all the animals home” and I wouldn’t ever know what to say because if you can’t handle certain things that’s fine but they truly weren’t influencing anyone positively just bringing the trainers and dogs down at the facility 😒 love to hear others discuss this cuz it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
people outside of the animal care industry just do not understand the work put into it. they see it as an easy breezy, fun experience. when really, it's usually stressful and challenging. it's not fun, but it's rewarding. so, so rewarding.
Very interesting train of thoughts. I have said that "i could never" before, and while yes, I realise that it's also to comfort myself, in some way it also serves as a compliment. By saying that, one could mean: wow, you're so strong for putting these dogs/cats needs and care before your own emotional attachment, it shows how brave and emotionally strong you are.
He understands what people mean by it. The point is it's not a compliment if the person you're saying it to doesn't see it that way.
@@kelsey8447 Of course! And I completely agree, I was just trying to stress that the intentions of the person could be good :)
“People be peoplein’”
Definitely the energy they come into the sphere of your good deeds with.... So weird. Thank you for fostering Loni and so many other good babies.
Ultimately people need to think more!
Wholesome. Sound viewpoints on life. Lots of great life advice and reminders in this video. Thanks for sharing this with us, Julien
I’m freshly out of college and am going to be starting a work from home job. It may be temporary or it may be longer term depending on different circumstances, so it feels slightly irresponsible to adopt but I’ve always wanted to rescue so I’ve been researching fostering to help out doggies while my future is still unknown. I asked my sister who rescued 2 doggies for her opinion and she said “but what if you get too attached?” and honestly deterred me so much. But at the end of the day I just want to help out a dog and help them find a home…. This helps so much thank you Julien ❤️
Wow this was so well said and I’m definitely gonna look at my response for when others are fostering/or other things like that. Julien is so clearly emotionally mature and yet is able to be silly and have fun at the same time. I will continue to support him until he doesn’t want support, for my own selfish want to improve myself by watching him ♥️
Omg I totally relate to the celiac disease thing with “I could never live like that”. It’s like “well if you were sick every day and a doctor told you that you had to, you would” but like lucky you I guess, right?
yes foster/adopt DONT shop!
Julian all you are saying I agree. Thank you for doing the fostering. May you please take care and stay safe.
When people say "I could never..." does anyone come back with "Yeah, you definitely couldn't"? 🤣
No but I’m going to now haha
My family fostered greyhounds and it’s just so rewarding and it’s amazing
Yes working in a shelter people all the time say “I could never work here id take them all home.” That’s not the point! It’s almost a backhanded compliment saying you must be heartless in order to work here. Yes it’s hard and yes we have emotions but in order to do our job and what’s best for the animals we have to hold back our emotions.