I hope you're okay. I don't know what you're going through, but maybe professional help is the answer, or talking to a trusted friend about what you are going through. People care about you, even if it may not feel like it at times. Wish you the best.
My mental health is a mess too ( like the title) I have a girlfriend that I love with my whole life and she loves me like that too. But sometimes I don’t know what’s happening to us because she won’t text me as much as she used to. I am afraid of what she could be thinking in terms of our relationship in a negative way. I just hope we can stay together for a long time.
just turned 18 and I’ve never felt so alone. I’m tired. I need reassurance in life. I feel ridiculously stupid educational wise, I feel angry, aggressive, and guarded. I need peace.
Hey! I felt the same way. I'm 20 now and I'm starting to feel better. If you can, I recommend counseling. It really helped me stop overthinking and it helped me learn to not doubt myself as much. I hope this helps. Don't give up yet. 🙌
I'm 26 and was literally just thinking about how lonely and sad I felt at 18, I promise you it DOES get better. you have so so so much time. it sucks so fucking bad being thrown to the wind as soon as you're a legal adult, I know it feels neverending but everything is temporary.
my mental health right now can not get worst,I've hit rock bottom. I'm avoiding hanging out,I listen to music no matter what,I feel so overwhelmed all the time every where I am. sleep isn't helping me not feel tired anymore
same I canceled both plans of hanging out with friends this week and all I’m doing is lying in bed listening to sad music and crying except I can’t even cry anymore. And I’m not talking to any of my family my moms been so mad at me and she doesn’t ever understand me anyways sorry for the little vent but if you ever need to talk I’m here
me asw. I relapsed a few weeks ago im so sngry all the time, i feel like I'm on the verge of hurting myself again srsly or someone else, I'm experiencing a lot of derealization and i cry so easily i js want to die
I understand how you feel its been 3 yrs and I still havent gotten over them and last night we got into a horrible argument and I feel disgusting about everything said to them even though they treated me like shit the whole time and now I just have this pit feeling in my stomach now I feel like I’m gonna cry but I can’t.
Nah man when my mental health hit rock bottom I couldn't even bring myself to listen to music it brought back way to many memories and my music taste has changed completely bc of that
Been struggling with alcoholism for about a year now and I’m drinking right now and clicked on this playlist and immediately started fucking crying . So much nostalgia , hurt and regret but for some reason I feel comfort at the same time listening to this , almost like I just need to let all these emotions out .
awh honey, its a hard world out there, and sometimes even the things that are the worst for us look appealing when times get tough and we are stuck in that dark place again. one day u will overcome this my love, and that day, u will look back at how far uve come and tell urself u have done enough. u are doing enough even now. acknowledging how u feel and letting it out is the first step to healing. u can do this
I know its difficult to stop drinking but i promise you can do it my love! You can do this. And if you fail, just keep trying and trying until you fully stop. I know its hard, but i know your strong and can do this
i’m sure you’re a wonderful person , drinking will not fulfill the hole that is in you , take care ma love , u can do anything , Jesus loves you! you’re loved by God! may he bless you 💓
Rawdogging life without alcohol is true self harm for me. Punishing yourself when theres the magical elixir that just makes everything a touch more bearable, I don't understand how non-alcoholics do it. I really, really don't. There's no point to anything, so I numb myself. I can't be the person I want to be without alcohol, without hurting people in the process. Hurting people is the last thing I want to do, but I hurt people through drinking - but fuck it, nothing matters anyway. My best friend. My first love. My worst enemy. The first relationship where I've actually felt loved in return. Alcohol.
honestly I might not make it to 2024 edit: im alive!!! I had no Benadryl to OD on, happy new years folks, we have a renewed life subscription edit #2: thank you to everyone who offered kind words of encouragement and tried to dissuade me from harming myself, I wish you all well and I will be forever grateful for your words ❤️🩹 edit #3: hello! we’re now 5 months into this year and I have begun counseling and started taking antidepressants! much love to you all, I hope yall are doing well 🫶 edit #4: It's three months later and I'm sorry to inform you all, while I am still alive, I have once more ended up in the place that I fought so hard to get out of. I feel like I've failed everyone here more than anything, and for that I am sorry. edit #5: things are still kinda shitty, got some problems w my dad rn and school still sucks but thats okay!! ik I have ppl to support me where ever I am, and that helps me get up in the morning(sometimes). there are still days where I feel like shit, but in a couple years this will just be a part of my life that I can look back on and ill hopefully be doing better. in 23 days ill be 14, when 2 years ago I didnt know if I would make it this far, and im really glad I did. ive made some really good friends this year, and its the time of the school year when everyone applies to high schools they want to go to. ive also been put on a mood stabilizer on top of my lexapro, so hopefully that will help. something I didnt understand was ur not going to magically be happy if you take your pills, you have to find things that make you happy, and make your life better on top of that. if youre struggling right now, im proud of you for still being here despite everything youre going through. youre one hell of a person and I hope you know that. love you all, apologies for the lengthy edit💕 edit #6: I officially turned 14 on the 26th. I'm looking forward to new experiences, and I've started my applications for high school :)
This year has been the worse and best of my life. I started out heartbroken from my first love, was in a depressive state for a while, made unwise decisions that led me into an empty relationship that i had to end after 6 months, battled mental health and stress, almost lost my house, had a fallung out with my mother and grew distant from my entire family. Despite that? I grew stronger, though it was painful, i got closer with my friends, i just recently rekindled my relationship with my siblings, i healed and got into a healthy relationship. Im not 100% secure and dont think i ever will be, but im a completely different person than i was last year, for better or for worse and i think thats worth something
Reading this back it makes me sound like I'm like 24 and on my own💀 I'm 17, I have lived with my grandparent since I was 9, we are not well off and my mother- in the nicest way possible- isn't all there. This whole year I've struggled with my relationship with her. She wasn't the best mother and still isn't but I still don't know if that's reason enough to go no contact or if I'm being too lenient or cruel
@@maryelizabeth5178 im starting my high school year, and although im still naive, i think building it slowly back up, but not at a pace that is super slow works for me when im trying to make a good friend or even a stronger relationship with a family member, i cant relate to your situation, but i do hope everything works out for you. best wishes - max
I'm scared of it all, growing apart from others, aging, being a grown up and so much more. It's scary especially cause I don't like change. I'm also starting to feel like I shouldn't even show others affection because of how much their annoyed at it. My hugs are just too much and too tiring for everyone but I'm just a kid, one that's always liked giving hugs but never really received affection back
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
awwwwwww internet huggggg (～￣▽￣)～ it'll be okay. keep your head up. remember that change is bound to happen but it's not always scary!!!! there's some good stuff and you will meet new ppl who also like hugs, and maybe will have more valuable advice and traits to offer you. u sound like a sweet person. :) hope you feel better.
Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes people struggle with accepting love and affection and when someone gives them those they become repulsive. It's really not your fault, there's something with them as they're going through pain internally. Just make sure to ask first if it is okay to give affection in those moments (I know it sounds conditional but it's better that way).
I felt like crying as these songs reminded me of a friend I met online exactly 4 years ago, who never treated me badly, listened to my problems and was the first person to make me laugh in years, to the point of crying while we both laughed. He was never the type of person to get sad, or at least that's what he implied, Gabriel... I know a lot has changed in your life, i miss you so much
Since it's new years, I decided to do a recap on everything from January to now. January- a fresh new start. I got back with my ex for a little while but the relationship was toxic. I eventually left and met someone new right after. Coincidence, right? February- School started, lots of courses and extra classes, I got together with that certain someone after a short period of time. Things are going well. I'm balancing my studies, time with friends, loved ones, etc. I went on a fun skiing trip. March- He's getting toxic and is always sexual. I just want actual love. I can't even talk about my feelings without him turning it into something sexual. I hate it. He broke up with me and got with his girl best friend. It's okay, my grades are still up. I'm making my mama proud. I met new friends. They all seem so kind. April- I fought with one of my bestest friends of 6 years. I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty if it's not my fault? It's fine. I should move on. May- I met someone new again. I got with him. He's so sweet. He actually respects me. That man is such an angel. June- All the pressure is gone. End of school year. I'm still with him. Nothing's changed. July- Went to germany for 2 weeks, met my stepbrothers for the first time. They seem cool. August- Last moments before it starts again. I've been isolated in my room all summer. I have friends, but not FRIENDS FRIENDS. I felt invisible. Every day was a loop. September- There's a new girl. She doesn't seem that trustworthy, though I'll give it a shot. October- Nothing new. Still with him. Going well. November- That new girl bullied me so much to the point I had to get a personal therapist, she didn't get punished at all and just had a conversation with the staff. I'm so fed up. December- Drained. Completely. Just keep smiling. Extras: I'd like to thank my boyfriend of 7 months for being there for me when no one was. He's the only one I can run to and cry on his shoulder. He's the only person who understands me. The only person who never fails to make me laugh. He makes me feel loved. Secured. I know it may sound like I'm some wh0re/h0e because of all the relationships I've had, but I actually have nothing special to talk about this year. I feel like my soul is sucked out of my body. I can't talk to anyone anymore. I can't even vent to my boyfriend, it's not that he's toxic thank God. I've just become shyer. More uptight. This year is definitely something I'll never forget. A year of isolation, severe depression, loneliness, self-hate, self-sabotage, the list goes on. I'm tired of acting like this happy person who has no problems. I'm tired of being the therapist friend. I'm tired of breathing. Of living. It feels like I'm sinking deeper and deeper, each step is wrong. I feel this thing that I can't put in words. It feels like just pressure in my body that's ready for me to puke it out without stopping. I forgot to mention I've also been puking frequently this year. Ironic, right? I've been trying so hard to heal. So. Fucking. Hard. And every time I do, it's for a short period of time. This has made me crave both love and negative emotion at the same time. I just feel.. comfort. I feel comfort in these negative emotions that I just can't explain. I've lost a lot of friends and just a little are left. One or two. Maybe even one and a half. I sometimes wish I could bite my tongue and actually stop. Happy New Year.
I hope it gets better, and that this year’s better, You’ve already put in a world of effort, and you’re stronger than you know, so even if better days don’t fall into your lap, you’ll still be able to grasp them with your own hands
I'm so proud of you for trying, even if its only for a little bit. I hope you get better, Life can be so hard, I'm glad you have found support with your boyfriend. all of your struggles are valid. Sometimes the Therapist friends need breaks as well, sometimes they need help. I don't always know what to say, or how to comfort people. But I will listen.
Hey, you dont know me but im so proud of you. You have been through a lot, and Im proud that you chose to keep going! Just ignore bullies, your a good person and dont listen to anything they say. I hope it gets better, and I wish that this year is way better for you! Have a great day and remember if you ever need someone to talk to im here, or you should reach out! You are loved ❤
Like when I was at the hospital because of my suicide(attempt), my mom and dad who hated each other before now get along because of me 1.what the actual fuck 2.I’m happy for them to finally get along but the fact it took me to almost DIE that’s when they start getting along with each other 3. I know it’s all just bullshit,there’s no way my dad JUST NOW puts the past behind him. Why not when I was 5 and I saw you once every 6 months or when you kept telling my how bad my mom was and how he is going to take me away from her or how you found out when she got a new boyfriend you flipped out and hated her even more because of your own shit. I remember being traumatized because E dropped me off at my piano practice and when you came in you were fucking pissed to see E and started yelling and threatening my mom if she doesn’t come right then and there you were going to kidnap me i wish I was never born then it would have never happened my dad wouldn’t have to use me as a threat and my mom wouldn’t have to see my ass every day and I wouldn’t annoy her and she would probably a lot better without me to be honest the fuck. I wish I was 6 feet under the ground and I can just be with God if I even make it to heaven I’m such an ass hole I’m sneaky and annoying I cause so many problems I regret I’m going to hell I’m going to burn and feel the pain I have caused I’m sorry.
winter break is ending soon and i could not feel worse i dont want to go to school for any longer even a 2 week break isnt enough for me i hate it sm. being the quiet kid in school is one of the worst experiences ever for me and i thought when hs came maybe id change but i havent. ive unintentionally pushed people away who were trying to be my friend because i was so uncontrollably awkward and it hurts. im gonna go back to sitting alone in lunch everyday because the one girl who was sitting with me found other people to sit with. this is the second time this happened and i dont blame the girls im very appreciative that they gave me a chance but it hurts being reminded how awkward and boring i am when i really just wanna be able to make normal friendships like everyone else. the other day i was eating alone in my own house and my brother recorded me and sent it to his friends without me knowing. then he sent me two screenshots of his friends who i dont even know calling me sad for not going out and weird because most girls go out?? it was so embarrassing i started crying when i saw it my brother has always been really rude but i try not to hate him cause he's my brother but i dont understand why you would just record me without me knowing and send it to people i dont even know for them to judge me. im so tired of my lifestyle ive been so lonely ever since i moved and i hate it i cant control it but im always being judged for it its been nearly 2 years of this and i feel so bad about myself i dont wanna continue living this way
as someone who struggled with depression and loneliness, i can relate to you deeply. please talk to me if you want. communicating your problem is the first step to healing. know that you are seen, heard, and loved.
@@deathslayer69-fc3gi it’s still there. like an injured knee, it healed. but there is still hurt and swelling and pain. exercising it and giving it time to heal is super important, though. even though it still might hurt in the future, you’ll know how to react to it.
@@mara4351 i feel you. i struggle with hurting myself. and i thought that one scar didn’t deserve to heal. it needed to be there as a reminder that i took it too far. but. it needed to heal. i needed to learn from my mistakes. i needed to grow. and you can too. you deserve to grow, heal, and learn from the past.
hi I'm Aiden, a 15yo (trans) guy and this is my story, possible TW(s): sh, ed, mental/physical abuse and body dysphoria. So, i don't exactly remember when everything started going for the worst, i just remember that when I was a kid I used to love hugs and physical contact, but growing up my family (most of the time) made me notice that I was chubbier compared to other kids, this really hurted me, but I never said a thing about it, at school (elementary) my classmates would make fun of my body/how taller i was compared to them and i would just laugh about it 'cause I couldn't do anything else. Then middle school started, i grew up and lost weight (so i was pretty average), everything was fine except for family fights/discussions that most of the time we had, then 8th grade started and i felt like something inside of me was wrong, i had my first short haircut and I was very happy that I finally felt like myself, i wasn't completely happy yet tho, still had to figure out why (during middle school a teacher would always make fun of me in front of the whole class/yell at me and in that period my aunt died). Finally the last year of middle school, i figured out to be trans and how happy i was “feeling masculine“, but then i would always look at my body in the mirror and i always thought of how bad i wanted to be skinnier so i started starving and lost a lot of weight. One day i remembered that the first time I tried to c*t myself i was 9,so i thought "why don't i try that again?" and so i did, my obsession over sh started, i c*tted my thighs so that no one would notice. High School started and this means that i have to "hide" my real self and submit my classmates saying that i looked emo/asking if i was depressed, i didn't really care about those comments, but then one day my parents decided that i should've been seen by a therapist, so i started this "therapy" and my therapist diagnosed me with: mood swings, generalized anxiety and that maybe I have depression, this depression of mine was never taken seriously, because my mom think that if I live in a house i cannot be unhappy (+ she poured salt on an open wound i had so that i had a real reason to cry and i was just a kid, i couldn't do anything, but looking at her and screaming in pain). I still had a lot of fights with my parents and that made me started sh again (because during that last summer and start of the year i stopped), i was very sad, i tried to k*ll myself multiple times. Then they failed me in the first year of high school (in fact now I'm repeating it) and I'm in a better class, but I still skip meals and c*t myself, summer will start soon and now I'll stop for this period, I'm not sure how much longer i can live like this, my body dysphoria is killing me, my intrusive thoughts, i am killing myself. P.s. I'm sorry if I made any mistake, please keep in mind that english isn't my first language and I'm still learning it and I'm sorry to whoever is gonna read all that, i didn't write EXACTLY everything 'cause most things that happened in my childhood i don't even remember them/don't wanna say them.
im 13. I attempted when i was 10 because i was bullied for being to energetic and social. im genuinely so glad im here still, my mother loves me so much.
i'm so sick of being poor, im scared ill be stuck living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. everyone treats me like it's my fault im poor, but i do literally everything i can to try and get out and nothing ever works.
Lately I’ve been spiraling. I’m 18 yrs old struggling with BPD & have been for years. Self image issues, paranoia, self hatred & self sabotage have been my best friends as of lately. And every time I confide in anyone about my feelings I’ve been told to get over it or that I’m playing the victim when it’s me who’s always getting mistreated while trying to love & accept everyone else. I feel like I’m losing everyone I’ve ever cared about and I feel really lonely, I watch all of my “friends” be in their happy little relationships or them getting attention from guys while I remain unnoticed. I feel like I’m the “ugly friend” & I’ve pushed myself away from my friends because I’m jealous of them. They have everything I’ve ever wanted: to be pretty/considered pretty, nice hourglass bodies, attention & can wear anything they want because they don’t have scars in visible places. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.. sometimes I feel like lashing out and other times I feel like just isolating. Then these are my last two months of high school, I don’t know where I’m going to work or where my life is heading & im scared.. I thought I had it all planned out but I don’t.
god this was so relatable. I'm also a BPD girl and I'm going through almost everything you said in this and all I can say is we just gotta keep our heads up and try. Thats all we can do anymore. chin up queen. or else the crown slips.
I use to think i hit rock bottom a while ago till i honestly felt the fact i can't bring myself to cry anymore, because when i do, i feel i wont stop, im not feeling a thing anymore and if i do, i will never tell, i dont think i can make it much longer....i have tried getting help, but everything just goes back to the same old thing, i really hope nobody feels the same way as me, i hope you all get through it
I hope you’re ok and if it ever feels like you can’t go on, you can. You will get better and things will start to look up, I swear. I (almost) recovered and you can too. Keep going please, the world needs you and I love you. 💕
0:00 girl of my dreams - guti 3:36 my kind of woman - mac demarco 6:46 jealous - eyedress 8:52 not allowed - tv girl 11:40 it almost worked - tv girl 14:11 4 morant - tom truise & doja cat 17:03 nobody - mitski 20:16 humpty - mitski
I felt the need to write that it can get better. Ik you’ve heard that over and over but it’s true. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and been in and out of hospital and felt so hopeless at times. I’ve completely given up on anything ‘better’ but even in that mindset it can. I’ve been sober from many things for almost 2 years now and just wanted to share that it is possible and the best decision I’ve ever made was to simply just try and stop and you can too. That doesn’t mean feel guilty if you relapse or don’t immediately change at least you can try. I’m proud of you for being here thank u for reading this
This playlist makes me feel sad in a good way I haven’t been able to cry in weeks and it’s still continuing. This has been the worst my mental health has been some days just sitting in absolute silence in my room, not being able to let anything out. So like in some ways I relay on bad coping skills.I don’t really have a lot of access to things to help me in a healthy way so what kinda helps me is sort of is playlists like this. I thought I wasn’t gonna make it halfway to Christmas but here I am still trying…
Yo yall got this, I was going through the hardest time mentally in my head during middle school and high school, and I'm about to graduate soon and move on with life, I understand I've lived a very privileged life as a younger child, but I hope everyone knows here, that theirs at least one person that genuinely care for you and that's me regardless of the background of what ever someone says to you, you're more than the words people say. and you can change, like it's super fucking hard to do, but I genuinely believe in you, don't stop trying, accept those tears, sweet heart, may this time pass for you along with those emotions, theirs nothing wrong with crying, but their is something wrong with not trying, a saying I live by, "I'm crying but I'm trying.
I don't even wanna be an adult yet. I'm 15, gonna be 16 on January. I am too young for this shit man, these past years have gone by so quick, I can't even remember how it even felt like to be a kid. And now in about 3 more years, I have to worry about adulthood, which is forever lasting, unlike childhood. I've genuinely thought about just ending it, but I dislike pain and, I am just looking for a satisfying reason to keep on living. Nothing these days can seem to get me in a good mood like before, being indoors for most of the time can mess with a mf. I don't even know what to do in the future, I don't have such a bright mind like before. Being a teenager in today's society has driven me to act like an adult when I'm not suppose to, all because of how Adults nowadays seem to carelessly act like with our Generation. Staying alive, while finding a reason to keep on living, hopefully, I will. But, I am afraid I do not wield such hope as I orginially planned to. Nothing can help me, no one can at all. I always drive others away, it's how I've always been like. I can't keep friends, not because I just can't, but because I don't want to. I know that, when I do make a friend, they won't stick around forever, friendships always end in some way, not all, but important ones. Only those whom I dismiss as regular friends, stay with me. I must'nt keep anybody too close to me, or else they won't like who I really was back then. Losing close friends can cut deep. Unfortunately, I've learned that the hard way, too many times. I am too selfish, too arrogant, and too empathetic. Growing up and maturing too young as taught me to be this way, it has taught all of us to be this way. The fact that most teenagers today are growing up too fast as well as not even being able to remember the last time they've ever truly had joy and fun. It's no different for me, since I am one of those teens. Our Generation seems to hide away, and tend to look for something to idolize or make as an escape. I feel for our Generation. Life isn't fair, it never will be. Might not make to 2024, but I will yet again, try to get through it, and find a reason to keep on living, that will satisfy me. Or maybe I will just end up shutting myself. I get too jealous when I see other people my age having fun. My Nana doesn't let me go out because we live in a big city with tons of traffic. Sometimes, it embarrasses me knowing that others may not relate to most of my experiences. It wasn't so difficult for me back then, so why is it now. I usually just tend my attention to bsd and jjk just because I relate to most of the characters. I am too delusional, and It needs to be stopped, but, without it, I don't know what to do anymore. The Internet basically raised me, so, I guess that says everything. I am attempting to find other fixations such as literature and language learning classes, hopefully, I find the reason, and next year will be a great year, not just for me, but for many other misfortune souls seeking for any sort of comfort of this sad pity thing we all call, "life". Anyways, I gen hope this didn't come out as cringe, srry if it cringed some of u out, LMFAOO ☠☠ P.S. It's 2AM rn, so srry if there is any misspelt words, errors, or sentences that make no such sense ^^.
I’m around the same age as you and I can really relate to this. I’ve changed dramatically within the past year, but the most I was able to take away from it all is to find something, anything to look forward to. Try to get something done today, it doesn’t matter how significant even if it’s as small as cleaning your nightstand or changing your clothes. I’m not saying to try and be happy most days either or have an optimistic outlook on everything. But a negative attitude will exhaust and demotivate you faster. Give yourself a break once in a while. It’s not wrong to live selfishly once in a while if it’s for the benefit of your well-being. Take one day at a time. Come to terms with your past to find peace of mind. Whatever you need to do to keep going. Unless you continue holding yourself back things will get better. I really wish you the best.
I’ve been here before and sometimes I still feel that way. It’s OK to feel the way you do, and so long as you’re trying to keep living you’re doing something right
going to turn 16 this year, and this is exactly how I feel. It's sad that our generation has to find comfort and solace in escapism by living in the world of books and shows, this world is too much. despite being a teenager, i have no prominent memories as such of either teenagehood or childhood, no friendships to look back to and nothing to cherish. All this time, I see people around me having fun and what not. Although I'll admit that I'm not jealous, but i feel like i deserve to be happy once in a while. I hardly am allowed to go out of the confines of my home, and the only thing I can look upto is to study better and acquire a better education, so that the least I can do is to spend my adulthood in peace. I'm afraid of growing up and facing the reality, of dealing with this world. So yeah I can understand how you feel! But you know what? You don't have to feel the same way forever, you can make efforts and work harder to enhance the quality of your life. You should not accept a life you don't deserve, you have the capability to make it better and more worthy. While anime and online media might be a means of escapism to many, you have to face the reality one day or the other. You have a lot to live for, and a lot of wonderful people to meet and adventures to encounter. Surround yourself with positivity instead, and nurture your hobbies and interests! Pick a language and learn it, I'll assure you, doing so is really fun. There's a lot out there in the world that is to look up to, you just don't know it yet.
I actually relate to you very much. Last month i just turned 16, but i'm very mature for my age and it hurts. I miss being truly a child. I also want to end my life but can't bc i'm to afraid of the pain. Also i watch jjk, the characters are so relatable. Sorry for venting, i actually never comment, or tell this but i related so much that i just had to say it. Btw english is not my first langues so i'm sorry for spelling mistakes.
I’ve been noticing a lot of you commenting here and saying you might not make it much longer. You did amazing making it to even now. It’s a hard world out there, and we do our best to muddle through it. Life is a constant fight, trying to keep ourselves afloat. I know it’s tiring and exhausting and it would be easier to quit. But I think there’s more to fight for, to live for. Each person has a story, an important one, unique to the individual. As life goes on, more is added to the story. Please keep adding to the story. Don’t finish it just yet. Maybe you don’t know what else there is to add, or why you should even continue, but I promise you that further down the road you will find the reason why you should stick around. Maybe it’s not apparent right now, but it will come to you. Until then, hold on just a little longer…
i’ve been struggling a lot since i have quited my sport (basketball). it made me smile fr. i used to be happy every single fucking time and now i dont even have a reason to be happy. i wanna be happy again, i wanna smile again. i wanna feel myself again. i just want the old version of me again.
(this is a vent, read if you'd like :)) ive had a serious of points in my life since 6th grade i think where i fall into a deep depression for weeks on end, im not able to get a real diagnosis unfortunately, because my parents don't really see it the way i do. but aside from that it's back again, and i relapsed a day ago after 4 months of being clean from self-harm. i feel so drained, but i try to not let it stop me from hanging out with my friends when i can. everything is so tiring. i don't think i wanna make it past my early 20's, but at the same time i wanna have a life when im older. im 15 right now, so you could argue that i have my whole life ahead of me, but to me it feels like im running out of time everyday. everyday i waste being at home only makes things worse sometimes. i feel so lost in my life right now, and i know it'll pass again. and it might all just be bc i may have undiagnosed clinical depression (thats what all my symptoms are leaning towards), and it not being paid attention to makes it so much harder. with the amount of times ive tried to reach out and save myself im just so done trying to explain everything, because things build up and theres always more to say. anyways thanks for reading all of this, i hope things r going well for u :)
hey i feel like we are the same person. I am 15 too and 6th grade was literally my downfall. you described my situation so perfectly. If this makes you feel any better, you are not alone.
TW: bullying. this is also really long but i hope someone will read this. grade 8 started a couple months ago. (im young, i know.) i didnt have many of my friends in my class this year, besides 3 of them. lets call them by their initials, AJ, RC, and AP. we were a really good friend group, a group of 4. sometimes we would be closer as duos, AJ and RC as a duo, and me and AP. that was fine. slowly, another girl (VG) joined the group, kind of replacing me and becoming close with AP. i was still part of the group i guess, but kind of the singled out one. you know, the one who would not have a partner because the duos were always together? yeah. slowly, people began talking about a girl named 'emily'. they said she was a student at our school last year and is now in highschool. they said alot of mean things about her, saying shes annoying and ugly and whatever. alot of people knew about her and it was commonly discussed for some reason. like, every day at lunch. it confused me, why it was such a big deal but i would brush it off. at lunch, RC, VG, AP, my ex boyfriend and some of his friends would sit at a table, talking about emily. they would CALL ME OVER, to come sit with them, so id hear what they said about 'emily'. it went on for a very, very long time. November 4th was AP's birthday. I gave her a gift and a long appreciation letter of how much i love her. November 9th, everything came crashing down. I found out emily was a code name for me. My heart sunk. My best friends had been talking bad about me. It went on for so long. Everything they said raced through my head. keep in mind, this was clearly purposeful. they would call me over to sit with them, so i'd be forced to hear what they said about me. I came home bawling my eyes out. i felt sick and never wanted to set foot in my school again. I didnt belong there. I couldnt be there. My parents obviously contacted the school. the principal started an investigation, and i stayed home for a week while they did so. after alot of investigating, it turned out that RC and VG started this. They got AP on board, along with my ex boyfriend and some of his friends. they were the culprits, but ALOT of people knew about this and didnt tell me. and i mean ALOT. like, almost the whole grade knew without telling me a word. When the main culprits were questioned (RC, VG, AP, ex boyfriend, his friend 1, his friend 2, his friend 3), they admitted to only doing it because they wanted to start drama. The grossest part to me is that they admitted to planning on doing this the WHOLE year, until the very last day of school. They would tell me the truth, and they wouldnt get introuble since we would have then graduated and not technically be students there anymore. It wouldve completely ruined my grade 8 year. I am 13 years old. Ive always been positive. but for the first time in my life, i wish i was dead. Im too scared to comm!t, but i wish i could. Im at my absoloute lowest and i dont even know what to do with myself, after almost 2 months. I have been alone. I never have partners, I sit alone, and Im not me anymore. "Shes so ugly." "Her laugh is so annoying." "Shes embarassing." So much more.. Ive lost my spark. Edit - January 20th, 2024 I'm doing way better guys! Yesterday was my birthday, I just turned 14. I now have the sweetest most affectionate bf who makes me feel so so special. I'm still alone at school but I really am doing better. ❤
this fr made me tear up. you all are just 13 and already this shit is happening? don't let them get to you, I know they already probably have but you'll get through this. Your spark will come back to you, it may not be the same but I know you'll find happiness eventually. I'm not really good at cheering up people but I seriously am rooting for you and wish you the best. I bet are an amazing person and just hang on, you'll get through this eventually.
I literally have no words to express how sorry i am, im going throught a "similar" situation that didnt affected me as much but the words that some people said about me resonate in my head. Im homeschooled now, this wasnt the main reason of why i homeschooled but knowing what other people thought about me made less welcome than I already felt in the first place. It's not a big deal, but your situation is very painful. You are incredible, please do not commit suicide, I know how much this situation affects you and you are within your rights, but why be permanently affected by something that is temporary, by a pain that will end at a given moment? School life is cruel. Seriously, it is.
it was even worse for me when i was 13. that’s a really sad age. just want to say it will definitely get better❤. i would not believe these words if someone said them to me six years ago. but the reality is happiness is waiting for you. please don’t take your life or hurt yourself. there are (or will be) people that will make you shine even brighter then before. sending love and hugs 🫂💕
(long ass vent) im 16 y/o and i feel completely hopeless with life. im not lonely, i dont have self-esteem issues, im confident and dont have any glaring issues that i dwell over. i just lack the self-will to do anything good for myself. i feel no push to do anything. i just want to lay down and exist. and sometimes i dont even wanna do that. i feel like theres something wrong with me but i dont know what to do or what to change. i feel like im going through the motions of living without actually doing it right. it feels like im living the wrong way. i think once i get out of high school and go to college, moving out of my parents house, ill really mess myself up. i hardly take care of myself with people around me. i feel like i wont eat or do the basic routines to live. its not like im going out of my way to do bad things to myself, i just dont have the will to do anything. i feel like im living wrong and i hate myself for it. why is everything so complicated, why cant i take care of myself and live properly. people told me it gets better when you grow up, and now im nearly graduated high school. im still waiting.
I get it, I really do. Sometimes we just can't function and work. Sometimes its hard to have motivation. But you have to have hope. Without hope you have nothing. I know this sounds cringey, but I always hope for a better future. I always hope that my efforts will pay off. And when they don't, I get sad sure, but I try harder, I fix my mistakes. I get it, life can suck and its hard to do things, but having hope and trusting yourself is a great way to making yourself feel confident. Beleive in yourself, and if you don't some random guy on the internet will.
I don't know who u are or where you are but I really hope with all my heart that you will be okay.Just try to find someone(if you can afford a psychologist then do that)that you can talk to and someone who can support and help you. You are not alone just know that.If you ever feel like that at least know that i can listen to you too
(long ass rant too) Honestly, you put it perfectly. In 16 too and im turning 17 in June. I don't know who you are or what you've been through, but what I can tell you, is that you aren't alone. it's barely the second month and I started the year off with my now 3rd attempt in ending my life. I lost my dad at 5. My mom wasn't really there for me or my sister mentally. we didn't have a good relationship, and now my mom is mending those mistakes but im overwhelmed by how much iv'e gone through but at the same time im trying to think that the traumas that iv'e been through aren't a big deal. I got this mindset from a lot of people in my life. The grief with my dad, the verbal abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the PTSD from different events in different times from my life. Im sensitive and i let people walk all over me, and even though i take medication for my depression and for sleep, i still can't help but think what my purpose here is. Why my attempts aren't working, or if im just here to see how much I disappoint people. Iv'e been hearing a lot of people tell me how much disappointment they have in me but to me, i don't know how to care about that anymore. It's like my emotions are drained and i can't feel anything left. Iv'e cried so much and i still continue to, but i think what hurts the most is that the people that broke me the most, are now the ones that think they are able to tell me whats right or wrong about myself. So yeah, they're disappointed? Me too. Im disappointed in myself for so many reasons, and i don't think that feeling is going away anytime soon. I got myself into a cycle of using weed to help me cope since i gave up on everything else, and now I can't stop using. I broke my family. My life. Im only 16 and I already think iv'e lived long enough to know if i wanna stay here or not. I don't know what to do. I hope you end up being okay though, because I believe you could get through it, even if others cant.
@@izelgonzalez9376 thank you for your response. im in no position to give you advice, given my situations pretty bleak as well, but i wish you the best. life can suck hard. i understand the feeling of wanting to get away from it all. we gotta push through it though. theres an end of the line for both of us but it’s definitely not here and not anytime soon. i hope youre able to distance yourself from the people who make you hurt and find reason to do good for yourself, and vice versa hope that i can too. if you think im able to get through this then you can as well. best of luck
@@quanxis_lover4609 hi, I'm crying reading this because I felt much the same when I was 15/16. I'm 44 now, but I made five suicide attempts between the ages of 12 and 18. There is no panacea, but I can say that friendships, hard as they are to establish, have been what saved my life. Please try to connect with people, even over a distance if making friends nearby is not working out at this time. A lot of what I see in my students your age is an incredible sense of loneliness, isolation, despair. The world is a mess, and we need to have people around us to deal with practical challenges that are afoot as well as to share the good moments. If everyone here would just exchanges email addresses, Discord, Messenger, Snap, whatever info and talk from time to time it would do you a world of good. My other best advice is to take up any creative or intellectual activity, no matter how much you suck at first (or even after a while), and practice it a little bit daily. Feed your brain; even if you read a page of a novel or play one logic or word game a day, it will help your brain fog clear.
I’ve never felt so alone in my life, I have a best friend and I’m apart of a pretty big friend group. But even when I’m with them I feel like I don’t belong. Everyone’s closer with each other than I am with them. And most importantly everyone has a special someone,everyone’s dating and I feel so isolated because I have no one. I feel like I’m missing apart of me, like I’m incomplete or like I’m not supposed to be there which sounds really emo of me to say lol but honestly I don’t know how long I can take the heartache of feeling alone when surrounded by so many people
it isnt a feeling anymore, it is deep down and it hurts. its like someone is squeezes your heart, not soft. Its like someone is trying to squeeze the juice out of your heart and enjoys it, so they squeeze harder. It feels like everything is about to fall apart during the squeezing. but if i do it, everything goes onto my family. i dearly love them but it hurts so much. It feels like the heaviest rock exists fell down onto your heart, loved ones try to pick it up but it is too heavy, so they leave it. i wish someone could ease this feeling. it doesnt go away. it hurts so much.
Im glad this popped up, I've been feeling so... Weirdly sad. I feel like so slugglish right now. I hate winter, it is just so, cold of emotions for me. I've been feeling so upset even without school, with my break, I have nothing to so I've been just lying in bed feeling useless. I like the bright summers better even if it's extremely hot, it's where i have the best memories.
I know I'm kind of venting here, but recently, I got into a new relationship with someone, during the fall, everything was great and new and I got to see him often and be with him, as time passes onto weeks, I feel some disconnection between us, he says he doesn't feel it and says we are doing well in it. I get to spend less time with him and he's always busy, but I'll be patient, no matter my overthinking, I overthink a lot to where it affects me, it makes me cry and think such extreme. But then I'm fine 10 minutes after. I know this is a lot to read but I feel so depressed and stuffy today, I know I can change my attitude or how I feel, I can be happy if I like to, I just like feeling this sad emotion. I know this is a lot of text, this is just my own personal thing. I just wish things will change for the good, I can't take it like this anymore.
Now the thing is, I feel better now and my mind isn't in a sad mood, it wants to do something else besides be sad, it's strange, like am I supposed to be better? It feels weird that I'm not staying in this sadness for long. But all it takes to feel better is just a few minutes to express my emotions
the worst part about me is i can have everything i need or want in a boy and i'll still feel lonely or depressed. I'm currently in a relationship with a boy and i seriously don't know how to tell him that i'm not doing okay. idk how to tell them that i can't call or talk to him about anything because all i do everyday is sit in my bed and cry. he makes me so insanely happy but i just can't keep going to him for the happiness i need to survive. i've really been thinking of hurting myself in some way and i've even talked with my parents about it. I have a good support system but the more i continue to live the stronger my emotions get and i just don't feel like waiting any longer on this earth. I sound so selfish. I have a loving mom and a loving stepfather and loving siblings and a loving boyfriend yet i still can't seem to find a reason to live. I just want to cry till i rot and die, but i can't. i need to take care of everyone and feel bad and feel this and feel that but i can't. i don't seem to feel anything. i just want to learn how to love the things around me and i've tried. but i'm seriously at my limit. - Audrey 2023, 12/29/23
hahaha and here I am back here again. some times I feel like I'm about to explode but I don't and it feels like my entire soul is dying and I'm screaming and crying inside and I can't express that so I just don't say anything because how can I even communicate how fucking low I feel all the time. I just want to be free. I just don't know how to be. my cat always sits with me when I'm suicidal. it's almost as if she knows. I don't think I'll be here much longer, I hope nobody mourns me too much as inside Im already dead and have been for years. the grief and sadness inside me is killing me. I'm just a body, mentally I'm not here. if it's not one thing it's another. if I'm not crying over my body, I'm crying over my face, if I'm not crying over boys I'm crying over how I can't get the courage to kill myself. im supposed to be getting healthy but how am I supposed to keep eating the foods I want when Evey single girl around me is so fucking skinny. I sit in front of the mirror and try to pose to show my bones, I don't know why I like that. it's starting to be concerning. I look at all the girls and immediately compare my body to theirs and wish I was skinnier and could wear pretty outfits without my fat ugly stomach ruining it. im going to fail my exams because I don't care and day by day they get closer. i genuinely don't think anything will ever get better and I am so scared one day I'll just explode and feel everything that's stuck in me. a years worth of emotion, I'm terrified.
3:45 whenever I hear this song I think of somone I used to talk to. We weren’t even together but when we were talking my mental health got to its worst and I didn’t think I was going to make it to 2024. But the he came into my life and made me feel like life was worth living. Whenever i would relapse or have bad thoughts I would think to myself “at least I have him”. We don’t speak anymore tho lmao
it’s really weird right now. i’ve been really close with someone for a couple years, as friends, then it was more for a while, until they just went cold on me because it wasn’t that special anymore, it meant less, after i gave all i could and would’ve given more (i wasn’t told that until months later, i was only pushed away). as of recent i found out there was someone else, in the time that they were growing more distant from me. that someone is still around, still being picked over me yet im the most special person to them, or so they say. i care about them and so i don’t wanna get in the way of their happiness, still they keep me around and i just watch.
everytime i think i'll be okay, something drags me back down to that pit i've tried to escape for so long, and everytime it gets harder to crawl back out. i'm getting closer to the point where i get dragged back in and don't put up a fight, maybe never even come out.
This is off-topic, but thank you for using this picture. I was trying to find motivation to sketch, and when I stumbled upon this playlist, I found the image to be a good reference. Thank you, and happy new year.
My mental health is so bad rn, I feel terrible. I’ve always grown up in a toxic household but as soon as I come home happy I get depressed because I have to remember my sister left me, my parents just want somthing to scream at me for. It’s just so depressing, I was laughing at church I was happy nothing hurt but as soon as I saw her face it broke me completely, that she hates me.
I wonder if people really care for me…everyone on the school is always talking about going to college, building a family, they all seem to have a bright future ahead but I wonder if I’ll have a bright future, if I’ll even have a future, I’m tired about everything, I almost can’t get up from bed in the morning, but for some reason I still avoid asking for help, there must be something wrong with me…
just been so tired lately, ive been in this slump for awhile and I dont think I can get out of it this time. Ive attempted and failed to kms three times, I feel just so unmotivated to do anything at all, im losing interest in people and things I used to take comfort in as well as life in general, I have this constant feeling of emptiness. the only way I found to avoid this is getting high, which I cant even do anymore because im broke ash and if my mom caught me doing it she would probably kill me.
I know it doesnt seem like a lot but its really been fucking with me lately, and adding to that I feel like the people im closest to dont really like me and dont want to be my friend anymore and are just keeping me around for pitys sake
Hii i hope you are feeling a bit better even though it has only been 4 hours since you wrote this comment lol. Ive been in your shoes when i was younger and i would suggest u to spend more time with your friends and ask them to hang out even tho you feel like they dont like u that much. At the end of the day who knows you may have a lot of fun and your friendships will improvee. Anyway dont smoke too much because its draying your money xdd I hope u and your family have an amazing 2024!!
hey, hope you're doing better now. ik im just a stranger on internet but i felt bad for u. i understand the feeling of emptyness. i became better by writing my feelings and goals (which i thought i didn't have at the time) in my journal, i set a goal to improve my life, and it did improve. the little things help, if you still need it or will need it in the future, have this suggestion as an option.
Hi everyone I don’t know if my words will make a difference but i just wanna say that it can get better. What you're going through rn is very real and painful and you're protecting yourself the best way you can.. you're very strong. But know that what you think is the only way to stop your problems, is just the reflection that you desperately need change. Whatever the change may be, deep inside you know. Move out, break up, quit your shitty job, move countries, get help, travel: just get another perspective on life. I dont know if my experience can/should be used as an exemple but as someone who attempted su*cide and went to the hospital and then to a psych ward, it does get better. I moved out and little by little i got better and now, i dont regret what i did but i just needed to get away from the shitty situation I was in
idk how to feel rn, yesterday i texted to most important people in my life and tell em that it end, and that i love em. i didnt do anything, bc my bsf saved me, shes such an angel!! but my moms still mad at me fr, soo yeah.
i dont know if its intentional or not but i find it neat that the first song here is "girl of my dreams", and the picture of the girl on the screen, commonly known among tv girl fans as the band's logo, is called "dream girl"
Hey yall, just wanna let you know that: everything will be okay. Things will get better, you are loved. Don’t give up, you can do this. If you’ve self-harmed in the past, or just a few minutes ago.. that’s fine! We all have difficulty’s. I’m still proud of you for getting through this. I love you, have a wonderful day
ik I might just be overreacting but sometimes I just feel like at one point nobody gives effort to be with me or try to care for me , just say words to make me feel better. It honestly hurts even more when you're in a bad household iykwim . it really shatters me when people say mean things to me but at one point I just want to end everything not like anybody would even care but I honestly don't know what to feel abt life nm . I hate it all.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
The worst part for me about being an atheist is wanting to get better mentally, but not being able to because I don't know why I'm even living. I don't want to get old, start a family or long term relationship, and I don't have any goals, like getting certain jobs, I don't even really have any hobbies. Even if it were the opposite, I don't know know what living and accomplishing everything I want would actually do in the end. I've tried turning to other religions, but I can't even make myself believe. I've never gotten signs, proof, or anything.
i hate love ,it is endless loop of meeting, fall in love, pushing them away and feel guity why cant i just stop falling in love, it so stupid but i cant help from fell harder and harder each time thinking of those memory i wanna bury it deep deep underneath those cold dirt but will soon realize when it rain it will come back from where it buried
I'm not sure what i'm doing at this point, it's not that I want to disappear for long lasting. But more for the moment being. I don't go out due to me being scared with how many people hurt me yk? I'm turning eighteen soon and I didn't live my high school years cause I was too scared to get hurt. I stayed doing homeschool for those four years. Now on my last. Cause i was bullied constantly in middle and elementary school. What do I do? I'm not sure.. To anyone who is going through a terrible time, I wish more than anything but happiness for you. I know life can be scary, I know it can be full of terrifying and confusing experiences. But remember, your entire life is not destined to be miserable or tiring. No matter what happens, don't ever give up. Life has something for you, the happiness you deserve and desire. It just takes it's time to get to you. Even if that's unfair, life is no matter what we do. Life will always be unfair. I hope all of you feel relaxed soon, even if I don't know who you are personally. I'm proud of you :3!
Thank you for these words I literally scroll through these comments reading then all and answering them this one made me cry I'm sorry for these years u had to go through hope you will find peace if you didn't find it yet❤
I had this boy that had liked me for so long, he even confessed his feelings towards me multiple times, and I rejected him every single time but we had agreed to stay friends since we have been close for a very long time now. over time he has began to get more distant but I eventually found myself falling for him. I then found out that he had started dating one of my friends that he hasn't even know for that long, my friend had told the boy to stop talking to me and that obviously hurt me because ive known the boy for so long and that he stopped talking to me because some girl he hasn't even known for that long told him so. They seem really happy together tho and im happy he moved on. (not)
oh my god this is now my absolute FAVORITE playlist!! It's like u put all my favorite songs together in one whole playlist 😭💗 this really made me feel something. Me and my ex broke up this month and today is our 1 year anniversary :( I'm honestly at the lowest part of my life rn but listening to tv girl, mitski, basically everything in this entire playlist, makes me feel so much better. 💗
@@hippiedebris omg how sweet this is 😭, no ones ever replied to me like this and when I tell you this comment made my whole day! ! I appreciate you so much I hope you have a great day :3 💗
friends are the best, yet worst thing to happen to you. they're the best because you have fun together, you watch things together, you play together, you do everything together. but...but when they leave,(possibly forever,)......that's the last straw. it was bad before, but now....they're gone. they were the only thing that was keeping you going. you want to join them, but you can't because it would cost your life. you don't want that, do you? but you do. "but it's a sin" you say to yourself. so you fall deeper and deeper in to a hole you can't get out from. want to ask for help, but you can't. so you try to help yourself. then you stop trying. you lay in the hole known as depression. and stay there. for what you think is forever. then someone sees you in that hole. they help you get out. you were so close to leaving this world. but they made you stay. and you're very glad for that. hey, to all those people who are thinking of taking their own life, please don't. someone out there needs you. so please, get some help. sending hug to all the people who need them. :]
a long ass vent bc i needed it lmao im only 12 and i feel suicidal, idk why but i feel like theres no point to living anymore and everyone hates me and thinks im annoying. i feel like im not growing the same way as other kids bc alot of kids in my grade are experiencing things that i’ve experienced at 8-10 and that ive gone through more stuff than others, but ive been so scared to tell anyone bc my whole life my parents have been telling me stuff like ‘kids cant have anxiety or any mental illness’ or ‘dont be stupid ur too young for this shit’, so i think telling my parents that im suicidal on top of everything thats been happening to me theyd tell me ‘oh well dont be dramatic ur just a kid’ or ‘ur just going through a phase’. whats really fucking annoying is that i used to have a friend who has anger issues but my mum wants me to be friends w her again and didnt give a single shit about what i was going through just bc shes the one who ‘has problems’ even though she (my friend) beat another one of my friends up way too many times. i just feel like nobody gives a shit about me bc everyone in 6th grade is so self centered omg its driving me insane. like, so what? so what if uve been really tired or stressed lately? dont take it out on me. ive never taken it out on anyone on purpose before. on top of all this, i have shit friends. i got a 60% on a test last week and i started talking to my friends abt it but my friend just told me ‘well last year i got a 20% on a test stop being dramatic’ like, what? i tried venting to you for once and you just tell me that u get worse grades than me? well, good for u for not studying, but like, ive always been pressured to be the ‘perfect, smart’ kid, so ofc a 60% is gonna look bad for me. whats even worse is that she always vents to me abt her problems and even talked shit abt me last year, but all of a sudden, when i vent to her, shes always like ‘well, uhm, i go through worse things than u’ like hold up. wdym worse things lmao i mean, are u suicidal, do u wanna sh but wont for gods sake and do u think abt death, like, every second of ur life? ofc not, so like stfu?? and theres this other friend who istg only cares abt herself. shes always bragging abt how shes better and my moms told me atleast a thousand times that kids at this age are like this, but srs? and then theres a voice in the back of my head telling me everyday ‘theres no point of living anymore just kys’ but i just cant stand to think about kms. i mean, what if i end up surviving the attempt and then everyone’ll think i was doing it for attention? im rlly sorry for typing all this i just wanted to write everything down since i rlly couldnt tell anyone abt my problems, and ik yall are gonna think im dramatic or something so im sorry for commenting this long ass vent edit: ive gotten so much better now even though its still kinda the same. thanks to everyone who replied and gave me advice cause honestly, what mainly helped me was knowing that im not the only one so thank u all so much!! ❤️ edit: it got bad again when i thought i was getting better good lord someone please fucking help me. like, i picked up the courage to tell my friend i was suicidal and she really called me emo. whats really fucked up is that she even joked around with a whole fucking class about me being ‘emo’ and ‘dramatic’ and i had to play with along with it. shes so self centered to the point where she straight up calls me ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ as a joke when she knows from the moment we’ve met ive been insecure of my weight and looks. i dont know if shes trying to act mature but she will NEVER understand the pain i go through everyday. i spent all of 6th grade skipping classes to cry silently in the bathrooms telling myself ‘why is this happening to me’ and ‘why is life so unfair’. like i really thought that for a week it was getting better only for this to happen, coming back to this comment to vent even more cause NOBODY, except strangers on the internet who actually understand my problems (thanks), will care about my mental health. i kept telling myself over and over again that one day i will find peace but at this point i think the only way ill ever find peace is by ending it all. i was supposed to have a great summer and glow up and shit but i guess not, bc if primary was stressful imagine how secondary will be like. at this point i know that i should leave my friends because theyre the only ones doing this to me without even realizing but they wont let me. they really wont. so what am i supposed to do? i think its quite clear to me that theyre toxic and im better off with another group in my grade which im actually so much more comfortable with but at this point ive told my friends so much stuff about me theyll probably start rumors or whatever bc everyone and i mean every single girl in my grade only cares about gossip, gossip, gossip to the point where ethey dont care if it hurts someone physically and mentally and ive tried to keep it cool but god i just cant anymore. again im sorry for typing so much shit its just my life is so much worse that before idk what to do about it.
Your feelings are completely valid, and honestly I think you need to drop that "friend" because it seems like the only energy she is going to bring into your life is negative!! Your life is worth the effort you put forth within it, stay safe and remember your worth!! 🫶🫶
when I was 15 I isolated myself for a long time, watched depressing stuff, I feel like I dragged myself down into a pit, I take medication but it's not the same, I really wish sometimes it could go back to the way things were when I was young.
I really feel like my peers hate me Recently, I've just been noticing that a lot of my peers have been responding to me so negatively or just not responding at all. I really understand why, I find myself annoying, too. I'm not the best person out there, but I'm not really decent either. I lash out at people for the smallest of things, I'm blunt about everything, I don't get jokes that easily, I insult people anytime I can. I'm horrible. I try my best to understand people the best way I can, I try to compliment them in more subtle ways, I try to apologize by giving them gifts or food (I can't communicate verbally, I usually say the wrong things), and I always try to give advice that I know; focus on yourself, don't let people's words cut through you. Maybe it's bad advice since it kind of sounds..
.. narcissistic, but that's just me. Am I narcissistic? I'm not sure myself. I'm not confident, but I think really highly of myself. I'm kind of pretty and nice, but I don't think my worth is even of an average human. I'm pretty sure I'm just horrible. Also, the fact that my class vice president, the kindest and most understanding person I know, ignores me a lot of the time says a lot. Am I seriously THAT unlikable? I hope not. I really hope not because I still want to have actual friends,not people who hate me and just pretend to be friends with me for benefits or out of guilt. I feel like my own partner hates me, too. He tells me that he loves me, and that I'm deserving of his love, but am I really? I mean, I'm mean to my own best friend, imagine what I am to him. When I get mad at other people and get into a sour mood, I just say mean or rude stuff to anyone, including him. I think my adviser hates me, too. She always looks annoyed when I talk to her, but she looks so happy talking to my other classmates. Sometimes I wonder why I was even born when I'll just make people hate me so much. I'm annoying everyone. This whole rant is probably annoying, too. I feel like I'm acting too self-centered, maybe I am self-centered. No, I actually AM self-centered. Why am I expecting that people will just act according to what I want? I'm not the main character, no one is. We're all just side characters to each other and we even view ourselves as background characters sometimes whenever we feel like our worth is nonexistent. Right? Not sure. Don't know. Really confused. I know people talk about me behind my back. No wait, I DON'T know, I just assume they talk about me behind my back. Earlier, when I told my Vice President to tell my other classmates to stop playing with the balloons (I'm horrified by balloons) and that I know they're playing with the balloons because I can see their reflection on the whiteboard, I heard them reply with "It won't even pop!" or asking their friend "Can you see me on the whiteboard?" and I feel like they're just annoyed with what I just requested. My teacher already got mad at us this Year's End Party because I had a panic attack when the balloons started popping so she told us to not use balloons in the future ever again, so I asked my President to not use those rubber balloons and instead use the aluminum ones. He didn't listen and went on with the plan and whoops! I had another panic attack while my teacher was yelling at the whole class when two of the balloons popped. My makeup was really ruined so I looked so ugly while crying. The worst thing about all of this isn't my panic attack, but the fact that the class officers, mostly my president and his friends, kind of made fun of me and played with the balloons more until all of them had popped. I really hated that since I trusted them so much. I actually looked up to them because they seemed fun and smart, but they were only mean and careless of others. I don't understand how people aren't considerate of what their peers are afraid of, more so, what they have trauma of. Speaking of trauma, I remember that ever since last school year, my president kept bringing up my past relationship with my ex (who SA'd me) and he was all so happy about it even though I already told him to stop bringing it up to me. I couldn't care less if he gossiped about the whole situation with someone else, just as long as he doesn't talk to me about it then I'll be fine. I really shouldn't be ranting like this to the internet but at this point I'm feeling way too low on worth to even give myself the decency of being the slightest bit private about my life.
I feel the same I try to be funny but my people don't get my jokes I say every thing that comes to my mind which can very stupid I'm too sensitive and everything overwhelms me i don't how to say the right thing at the right time i don't how to stand up for myself i used to be very good at school every thing was easy now i force myself to study I hate my peers who have better grades than me i hope i can have strength cause I have a dream to follow but stress is making me weak I get I'll just because I worry too much I worry about the future and whether my career choices are bad I'm so reliant on people's opinions I cant live without praise I think this is what makes me so miserable I just want to live the now and believe in my self worth
You opened my eyes for people who act like you, I suggest finding a trust friend to open this up to and realize where you go wrong and hurt others and how you can slowly change it
Summer break had just started, and yet here I am, sitting by myself all alone because my siblings are with their friends. I don't live with my parents because they made a mistake that they can never change. My grandparents are at work all night and all day. So im here, all alone in the house and trying to make myself happy for what I do... but I can't because every time I remind myself of what I had done that was good, it drifts back off to all the bads things that I've done, said or what bad things were done to me. I can't handle being alone. In a few weeks, I'll be having anger management therapy and therapy for my depression and anxiety. My grandmother is there for me and says she understands how I feel, but she really doesn't... I can tell she's trying her best.
i have no place to call home, school isn't as fun and engaging as it was before, my friends doesn't feel like friends, my true friends are far away from me in terms of life status and my inner child is hurting everytime. sadly i could not use the recommended help my friends or people suggested me since it's impossible at this point. im nearly an adult at this point and im scared to grow up but im also too scarred to even want to stay as a child. my whole life i've been scared and hopeless that i even fear happiness, i wish to not be scared of getting hurt anymore especially by people, i wish to be brave and also be stable by the time comes somewhere in my adulthood. i blame my parents for putting me up in so much stress... i blame my parents for not planning well on creating a broken family... i blame them on how i turn out to be... i blame my entire lineage for not being a proper family... let's just hope my situation won't turn into a much more morbid than the previous one, i don't know how much i can endure in this try hard times.
im so sorry you feel like this. I don't know how you exactly feel but I feel like I get it. Parents usually put all this stress not even knowing it mentally drains us, but you can break that family trauma!!. Growing up shouldn't be scary, it should more years for happy memories, new friends, and more opportunities. I feel the same way with my friends, I've drifted so far after moving but even before I left I never had someone I could call my best friend. I switched to homeschool and feel more free but even more alone. I'm just starting high school so I feel like im missing out on every teenagers high school life, I feel like I can't go to anyone for anything, but I know I will get better and you can too mh
@@InayaHassan-u1e thanks for this kid and don't worry about missing out too much in your life as at this point of age... i don't really know what is a proper teenage life too since covid back then it stunted me socially and turned me into an internet addict, i've been fucked hard that time but it was much worse when covid was done too. i was 16 with unresolved mental issues so i was damned then that i secretly to my mom, didn't go to school for months on end. im shock that im even in 12th grade now but im so unsure of college right now because... my mom doesn't want me anymore so she's kicking me out of her life once i graduate and i hate how emotionally damned my father's side of the family. i bet you still got the chance kid since we live completely different lives and i hope it goes well for you unlike mines, stay on the positive side as always even in the toughest of times and pause to breathe mate and cry your heart out since that helps me out... you got this buddy i believe in you :3
i hate being burnt out in sports. i used to be one of the best athletes in the state, and now i can barely even make finals every meet. but even when i do make finals, i question why im even doing it. all i think about is getting through it, i dont even think about why im even doing this sport anymore. its ruined the way i see things, ruining the way i see myself. ive been contemplating to stop eating because lighter = faster, right? i always look in group pictures and think about how fat i look, even when everyone tells me im just average weight. i havent made the podium in years, and i hate it that im not first. it makes me feel like im not good enough. i have to train for more than 4 hours every day, but i hate every second of it. ive been hanging on for the past year because the team needs me, but im just the background player. someone they need but never pay attention to. every day training is so hard, i feel like throwing up often. im starting to think the only way to make it stop is to just end it all. i cant quit because ill feel like a disappointment but i can’t continue doing it anymore. i hate how everyone always mentions how good i am and that i can get into d1 college for my sport because i dont feel good enough. i hate waking up every day knowing i have to go through life. i hate waking up knowing that im me. and i hate opening up to people because i feel so pathetic and weak.
Honestly, this just popped into my All tab on the side of another video, but it's kind of how I've been feeling lately. My psychiatrist accuses me of not taking my medication properly and he got mad at my mother for letting me take my medication on my own (which is understandable, but I wanted to keep it in my room so I do NOT forget to take it.). I feel helpless, because I feel like the medication is not working, I've been taking depratal for half a year and two months after I started it the magic faded, I had my first panic attack since I started it and I almost took my own life soon after. All of that stacked and I was almost admitted to an institution, but luckily I did not have to go. Recently my mental wellbeing's been getting worse, seemingly because of hormone changes during my period, but my low mood kept persisting before and after my period ended. Idk if any of this made any sense, but I just needed to get it off my chest.
He broke up with me 2 months ago, and I'm still not over it, even though we only dated for a month. Now he is dating the girl that talks shit about me, used to be friends with me, pick me, backstabber, and a player. He left me for the girl that ruined me. She came into school with a hickey on her neck from him, and I wondered, what did I really do wrong to get the boy who used to tell me he loved me every night to break up with me and go for my ex-friend? Am I even good enough? How many rumours will be spread about me from her? Do they talk shit about me every night? why cant I accept the fact that he loves someone else? Why is my soul still attached? Am I okay?
recently my best friend and I haven't been in touch as much. she's always been incredibly kind to me and treated me like a real person when nobody else did. recently, she found someone special to her, and understandably, our communication has had a few holes in it, but instead of being up-front about this new relationship with me, she blocked me. prior to me knowing about this relationship, i would text her and get left on open a lot, and eventually she said i didn't respect her enough and she cut ties. i'm so happy and thrilled for her relationship, but it hurts that she chose to cut ties without being honest with me lastly, i feel like an asshole about this entire situation like it's my fault, i have this guilt about it on my shoulders, no matter how many friends have told me it isn't my fault, i still feel it is
I went through not the easiest upbringing , I would get into it but I feel like it’s just an excuse for me to be sad but most days I don’t even know if it effects me. Part of me is happy all the bad things my parents and other people done to me happened because then it gives me and excuse to be sad . I know it’s messed up but what’s scarier than the trauma is the fact maybe I’m just sad and empty for no other reason than being empty. I don’t even know if this makes sense but I’m so so lonely. I have a loving boyfriend and friends who support me but I could never admit these things and talk about this feeling it’s like I can feel so much of everything all at once so I can’t come up with a name so instead I just say I feel nothing .
i am once again at my lowest. and im doing nothing to fix it. i fucked up so hard. i once again fell into the hole that i fought so hard to get out of. im not even sure if my friends even like me anymore, im draining out my parents. im just complaining and im doing nothing to fix it. im stupid, lazy and a crybaby. im the problem so dont even try to tell me otherwise. i dont know where it all went downhill for my happiness, i was a naturally happy kid and now i just fell empty, my mood has weird swing and i dont know why. i just fell lost and i dont know why. my friendship with them just doesent fell the same anymore. im not a social person either so its hard for me to talk to ppl. its so weird and wrong because i have parents who love me, and a 4 friends but i had problem with the other two and i dont know if or friendship will ever be the same after what ive done to them. even those two girls tried to fix me but i just wouldnt listen and now it finally hit me. i am so problematic and its almost like im meant to die lazy and unhappt. i just want to end it all because i am the pure example of lmost every deadly sin and i hate it. i dont know if ill ever heal but i hope everything would get better for me. i just jope ill heal and become a new pearson. there is no point in trying to make me think otherwise bcs ik im the problem so dont even try. but comort is appreciated
To whoever you are I really hope you get better. Life is and will be extremely hard. Just as much as it can be beautiful. So don’t give up. The more you wait for happiness. The better the award. So seek help however you can. Even by talking to someone here or a trusted person. So please don’t be isolated and give up. The world will be affected without you, someone will be affected without you. So please don’t give up, and keep pushing for the award. I promise it will be so worth it.
These playlist is so real, my mental heath is so bad but none of my family members know nor my friends, im pretty sure my mom hates me because im just like my dad (they have problems) so yknow thats hurts, i also have to deal with friend drama and example is my friend flirting with my crush even tho she knows i like him and she also has a bf, i have to deal with draining friends and feeling like im out of place for everything, i have a lot of friends but even with my close ones i just feel like i dont deserve them and like i dont belong here, i always have to deal with my parents fighting too. Im sensitive but i hate expressing my feelings and i never talk about them, i just feel drained and tired. Even when i get a good amount of sleep and wake up i just want to go to bed. Im like rotting my winter break away. And chrsitmas wasnt the same as it was when i was younger. Everything is just different and i hate it im growing up so fast and i just want to be a little kid again. And all my parents do is scold eachother for everything. Nothing is fun anymore and i js wanna run away. My friends BARELY text me at all and im js the floater friend. Im nvr anyones first choice. Everyone always has a more importent person then me in their life, so i could dissappear and no one could care. Im js so tired of all of this. My parents yell at me for everything and i just feel like a horrible sister,daughter, friend and ect. And stress of school,drama,parents and looks. Like im girl pretty but nvr boy pretty every sing boy that ive liked never liked me back. I just feel ugly and idk but i just needed to get this off my chest. But anyways this playlist is really good, love you all!💗
Hi i hope you are feeling a bit better noww, even though it has been only 5 hours since you typed this comment lolol. If i were you i would talk to this friend that flirted with your crush and tell her how you feel about her behaviour In person. For example, you can invite her to eat out, so that it can be easier for you to express how you feel. Also, If she reacts agressively because of guiltyness, try to calm her down and tell her that you understand her and stuff. But if time goes on and she continues being toxic and not respect you, then it would be better to cut her off and invest your time in your other friends.
By the way, about the family part, you should hang out more with your mother and siblings!!This will bring you guys together and having a strong relationship with them will definitely bring better mental health..To sum up, I wish you and your family an amazing 2024
Im sorry. Im sorry that i wasnt the girl that you had mom, im sorry that i wasnt giving you much attention im sorry that i never listen to what you told me to do im sos sorry i was acting this way… i never want to act like this….? I tried so hard to try and change myself. I hated how i never kept my promise with you. I hate how stupid ive been doing.. im trying my best to be the better version of myself im sorry.. mom, you know i love you and always have been you have a part of my heart. Im sorry… 8:26
I think i've hit rock bottom. i barely even go to school, in the last two months i think i've gone like ten times? I actually can't bare it any longer, i barely get out anymore and spend my days glued to a couch since i don't even have a room, this friendship-breakup has hit me so hard. i miss him so much. i told myself i would never let anyone back in to the point it hurt, but i'm doing it again, i know they are bound to leave in the next year or two, my friendships don't last, i know it's my fault, i get super depressed and stop texting because they are better off without me. and it hurts so much, i want them to never leave but i know i'm going to screw it up somehow, it'll be my fault and i'll make sure i feel how it's my fault. i geniunely don't know how these two amazing angels care so much about a screw up like me. i hate it all, god why can't they see the horrible person i am, i smoke, i drink, i self sabotage, i'm not going to get better, i know i'm not, i'm wanted to off myself since i was 9, why would it get better now. god i wish they would leave so they could have good lifes, i bring people down, i don't want to do that to them. why do they care so much, why can't they hate me. why do i miss my ex bestfriend, he never cared about me, he admitted it, he told me that he only hanged out around me because of our common friend, why was it so hard for him to care when it was like breathing to me to care for him, it was so easy to care for him, to love him, yet it was so hard for him to care about me. i really am just a sadistic, narcissit like my mom said, like my brother said. i am nothing but trouble. why do these angels sent from heaven care about me, when no one else has, why do they care, how do they even care, all my life i've been told i'm so hard to love, to care for, if not directly told it was told to me by actions, why is it so easy for them but so difficult even for my mom. i actually don't know how im going to fix it this time. maybe i should just give up at this point. i barely eat, i barely sleep, i barely move all day, it's not like anyone will notice.
I genuinely feel so stuck, I can’t find a place for myself anymore and I’m behind even in the things I thought I was good at. I’ve pushed everyone away and no one is close enough anymore for me to talk, there is so much to say so I feel like I’d be venting to someone who didn’t ask for anything. Because no one can bear to hear negativity over and over again. I feel like any attempt to live like the others do or seem to do is to try to hide that I’m in fact not okay. I try to study but the reality of a meaningless future is still hovering over my dreams and hopes. Materialism doesn’t help and people… I can’t find mine, I can’t sustain it. I don’t really feel deserving of love not in a very negative way I just don’t really see why someone would love me. Love seems like the most abstract concept rn and friendship is so arduous. Idk I wish that my consciousness could vanish into the ether.
feel free to vent in the comment section btw! :)
Ily
:]@@aver661
I hope you're okay. I don't know what you're going through, but maybe professional help is the answer, or talking to a trusted friend about what you are going through. People care about you, even if it may not feel like it at times. Wish you the best.
My mental health is a mess too ( like the title)
I have a girlfriend that I love with my whole life and she loves me like that too. But sometimes I don’t know what’s happening to us because she won’t text me as much as she used to. I am afraid of what she could be thinking in terms of our relationship in a negative way. I just hope we can stay together for a long time.
@@isa-shorts8410 talk to her ab it
just turned 18 and I’ve never felt so alone. I’m tired. I need reassurance in life. I feel ridiculously stupid educational wise, I feel angry, aggressive, and guarded. I need peace.
real.
Hey! I felt the same way. I'm 20 now and I'm starting to feel better. If you can, I recommend counseling. It really helped me stop overthinking and it helped me learn to not doubt myself as much. I hope this helps. Don't give up yet. 🙌
I'm 26 and was literally just thinking about how lonely and sad I felt at 18, I promise you it DOES get better. you have so so so much time. it sucks so fucking bad being thrown to the wind as soon as you're a legal adult, I know it feels neverending but everything is temporary.
Hope you are well
rs bru
so for anyone wondering: the girl in the pic is exactly what tv girl's logo is based off, her names colleen corby
she looks kinda like olivia rodrigo
@@lake_fairyYou did not just say that 😭
@@stay_inthemiddle IM SORRY
@@lake_fairy I mean it's good that you are, but you don't have to feel bad this is such a minor thing xD
lana del rey personally.. @@lake_fairy
my mental health right now can not get worst,I've hit rock bottom. I'm avoiding hanging out,I listen to music no matter what,I feel so overwhelmed all the time every where I am. sleep isn't helping me not feel tired anymore
same I canceled both plans of hanging out with friends this week and all I’m doing is lying in bed listening to sad music and crying except I can’t even cry anymore. And I’m not talking to any of my family my moms been so mad at me and she doesn’t ever understand me anyways sorry for the little vent but if you ever need to talk I’m here
I am sorry that you're going through this, but you might need a MD and a prozac?
I hope the best for u okay? :3
me asw. I relapsed a few weeks ago im so sngry all the time, i feel like I'm on the verge of hurting myself again srsly or someone else, I'm experiencing a lot of derealization and i cry so easily i js want to die
i felt exactly the same january to july last year it gets better 💖
i feel guilty for hurting the person who hurt me most. the anger that bottled up just let out at them and now i feel responsible.
I understand how you feel its been 3 yrs and I still havent gotten over them and last night we got into a horrible argument and I feel disgusting about everything said to them even though they treated me like shit the whole time and now I just have this pit feeling in my stomach now I feel like I’m gonna cry but I can’t.
same
life rn
am still a bad man
its ok if they're french. french people are soulless. hope you're happy to be in paris!!! ! ! ! !
eyedress, tv girl and Mitski are such good artists
mac demarco >>>
@@user-iw8js7ne3d FRR
YES
MAREUXX
Nah man when my mental health hit rock bottom I couldn't even bring myself to listen to music it brought back way to many memories and my music taste has changed completely bc of that
real every song reminds me of her
right like all my comfort songs are ruined
Is it bad that I listen to these songs when I’m happy too? They slap.
nah i do too tbh😭
it is, but you like it because the way it makes you feel, this feeling is familiar for you
I have a decent life, I'm happy most of the time lol. But for some reason I prefer to listen to sad songs cause they're so calming and make me relax
@@syrup3586I wish I was you man
@@rrasberriie_ womp womp
Been struggling with alcoholism for about a year now and I’m drinking right now and clicked on this playlist and immediately started fucking crying . So much nostalgia , hurt and regret but for some reason I feel comfort at the same time listening to this , almost like I just need to let all these emotions out .
awh honey, its a hard world out there, and sometimes even the things that are the worst for us look appealing when times get tough and we are stuck in that dark place again. one day u will overcome this my love, and that day, u will look back at how far uve come and tell urself u have done enough. u are doing enough even now. acknowledging how u feel and letting it out is the first step to healing. u can do this
I know its difficult to stop drinking but i promise you can do it my love! You can do this. And if you fail, just keep trying and trying until you fully stop. I know its hard, but i know your strong and can do this
i’m sure you’re a wonderful person , drinking will not fulfill the hole that is in you , take care ma love , u can do anything , Jesus loves you! you’re loved by God! may he bless you 💓
Rawdogging life without alcohol is true self harm for me. Punishing yourself when theres the magical elixir that just makes everything a touch more bearable, I don't understand how non-alcoholics do it. I really, really don't. There's no point to anything, so I numb myself. I can't be the person I want to be without alcohol, without hurting people in the process. Hurting people is the last thing I want to do, but I hurt people through drinking - but fuck it, nothing matters anyway.
My best friend. My first love. My worst enemy. The first relationship where I've actually felt loved in return.
Alcohol.
pitbulls been there done that. stay strong 🍾 tv girl > alcoholism
honestly I might not make it to 2024
edit: im alive!!! I had no Benadryl to OD on, happy new years folks, we have a renewed life subscription
edit #2: thank you to everyone who offered kind words of encouragement and tried to dissuade me from harming myself, I wish you all well and I will be forever grateful for your words ❤️🩹
edit #3: hello! we’re now 5 months into this year and I have begun counseling and started taking antidepressants! much love to you all, I hope yall are doing well 🫶
edit #4: It's three months later and I'm sorry to inform you all, while I am still alive, I have once more ended up in the place that I fought so hard to get out of. I feel like I've failed everyone here more than anything, and for that I am sorry.
edit #5: things are still kinda shitty, got some problems w my dad rn and school still sucks but thats okay!! ik I have ppl to support me where ever I am, and that helps me get up in the morning(sometimes). there are still days where I feel like shit, but in a couple years this will just be a part of my life that I can look back on and ill hopefully be doing better. in 23 days ill be 14, when 2 years ago I didnt know if I would make it this far, and im really glad I did. ive made some really good friends this year, and its the time of the school year when everyone applies to high schools they want to go to. ive also been put on a mood stabilizer on top of my lexapro, so hopefully that will help. something I didnt understand was ur not going to magically be happy if you take your pills, you have to find things that make you happy, and make your life better on top of that. if youre struggling right now, im proud of you for still being here despite everything youre going through. youre one hell of a person and I hope you know that. love you all, apologies for the lengthy edit💕
edit #6: I officially turned 14 on the 26th. I'm looking forward to new experiences, and I've started my applications for high school :)
The world needs people excactly like you. You can do it, I believe in you ❤️
Babe zone say that :c I’m here for u k ? Talk to me anytime I’ll give u my disc if u wants
I love you and your kind heart, please don't give up. If it's getting too much to handle just ask for help, i promise it will get better❤
I don’t know u but same here I’ll join ya
Me too but here we are, both alive and we can be proud to be still here. You’re strong keep going, you deserve to be alive. Love you stay safe
This year has been the worse and best of my life. I started out heartbroken from my first love, was in a depressive state for a while, made unwise decisions that led me into an empty relationship that i had to end after 6 months, battled mental health and stress, almost lost my house, had a fallung out with my mother and grew distant from my entire family. Despite that? I grew stronger, though it was painful, i got closer with my friends, i just recently rekindled my relationship with my siblings, i healed and got into a healthy relationship. Im not 100% secure and dont think i ever will be, but im a completely different person than i was last year, for better or for worse and i think thats worth something
Reading this back it makes me sound like I'm like 24 and on my own💀
I'm 17, I have lived with my grandparent since I was 9, we are not well off and my mother- in the nicest way possible- isn't all there. This whole year I've struggled with my relationship with her. She wasn't the best mother and still isn't but I still don't know if that's reason enough to go no contact or if I'm being too lenient or cruel
@@maryelizabeth5178 im starting my high school year, and although im still naive, i think building it slowly back up, but not at a pace that is super slow works for me when im trying to make a good friend or even a stronger relationship with a family member, i cant relate to your situation, but i do hope everything works out for you. best wishes - max
Good job!! I hope that your 2024 goes wellll
well im really REALLY proud of you. great job@@maryelizabeth5178
2022, 2023,2024 was and is the worst years for me, I hope 2024 is going well for you
I'm scared of it all, growing apart from others, aging, being a grown up and so much more. It's scary especially cause I don't like change. I'm also starting to feel like I shouldn't even show others affection because of how much their annoyed at it. My hugs are just too much and too tiring for everyone but I'm just a kid, one that's always liked giving hugs but never really received affection back
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
@@supravietuitoriblog547 you're so nice
awwwwwww internet huggggg (～￣▽￣)～ it'll be okay. keep your head up. remember that change is bound to happen but it's not always scary!!!! there's some good stuff and you will meet new ppl who also like hugs, and maybe will have more valuable advice and traits to offer you. u sound like a sweet person. :) hope you feel better.
Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes people struggle with accepting love and affection and when someone gives them those they become repulsive. It's really not your fault, there's something with them as they're going through pain internally. Just make sure to ask first if it is okay to give affection in those moments (I know it sounds conditional but it's better that way).
boo hoo biggie🥰
I felt like crying as these songs reminded me of a friend I met online exactly 4 years ago, who never treated me badly, listened to my problems and was the first person to make me laugh in years, to the point of crying while we both laughed. He was never the type of person to get sad, or at least that's what he implied, Gabriel... I know a lot has changed in your life, i miss you so much
wait i know a gabriel? do you know where he was from by any chance?
@@angelinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh, i just remember spanish was his first language
thats my cats name
MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT WHEN I SAW THAT GIRL
tv girl mentioned
her name is melanie, im pretty sure
Real
Actually, her name is Colleen Corby, a 60's model.
@@cedrus.forest_.i see tv girl, i click
Since it's new years, I decided to do a recap on everything from January to now.
January- a fresh new start. I got back with my ex for a little while but the relationship was toxic. I eventually left and met someone new right after. Coincidence, right?
February- School started, lots of courses and extra classes, I got together with that certain someone after a short period of time. Things are going well. I'm balancing my studies, time with friends, loved ones, etc. I went on a fun skiing trip.
March- He's getting toxic and is always sexual. I just want actual love. I can't even talk about my feelings without him turning it into something sexual. I hate it.
He broke up with me and got with his girl best friend. It's okay, my grades are still up. I'm making my mama proud. I met new friends. They all seem so kind.
April- I fought with one of my bestest friends of 6 years. I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty if it's not my fault? It's fine. I should move on.
May- I met someone new again. I got with him. He's so sweet. He actually respects me. That man is such an angel.
June- All the pressure is gone. End of school year. I'm still with him. Nothing's changed.
July- Went to germany for 2 weeks, met my stepbrothers for the first time. They seem cool.
August- Last moments before it starts again. I've been isolated in my room all summer. I have friends, but not FRIENDS FRIENDS. I felt invisible. Every day was a loop.
September- There's a new girl. She doesn't seem that trustworthy, though I'll give it a shot.
October- Nothing new. Still with him. Going well.
November- That new girl bullied me so much to the point I had to get a personal therapist, she didn't get punished at all and just had a conversation with the staff. I'm so fed up.
December- Drained. Completely. Just keep smiling.
Extras:
I'd like to thank my boyfriend of 7 months for being there for me when no one was. He's the only one I can run to and cry on his shoulder. He's the only person who understands me. The only person who never fails to make me laugh. He makes me feel loved. Secured. I know it may sound like I'm some wh0re/h0e because of all the relationships I've had, but I actually have nothing special to talk about this year. I feel like my soul is sucked out of my body. I can't talk to anyone anymore. I can't even vent to my boyfriend, it's not that he's toxic thank God. I've just become shyer. More uptight. This year is definitely something I'll never forget. A year of isolation, severe depression, loneliness, self-hate, self-sabotage, the list goes on. I'm tired of acting like this happy person who has no problems. I'm tired of being the therapist friend. I'm tired of breathing. Of living. It feels like I'm sinking deeper and deeper, each step is wrong. I feel this thing that I can't put in words. It feels like just pressure in my body that's ready for me to puke it out without stopping. I forgot to mention I've also been puking frequently this year. Ironic, right? I've been trying so hard to heal. So. Fucking. Hard. And every time I do, it's for a short period of time. This has made me crave both love and negative emotion at the same time. I just feel.. comfort. I feel comfort in these negative emotions that I just can't explain. I've lost a lot of friends and just a little are left. One or two. Maybe even one and a half. I sometimes wish I could bite my tongue and actually stop.
Happy New Year.
I hope it gets better, and that this year’s better,
You’ve already put in a world of effort, and you’re stronger than you know, so even if better days don’t fall into your lap, you’ll still be able to grasp them with your own hands
I'm so proud of you for trying, even if its only for a little bit. I hope you get better, Life can be so hard, I'm glad you have found support with your boyfriend. all of your struggles are valid. Sometimes the Therapist friends need breaks as well, sometimes they need help. I don't always know what to say, or how to comfort people. But I will listen.
Hey, you dont know me but im so proud of you. You have been through a lot, and Im proud that you chose to keep going! Just ignore bullies, your a good person and dont listen to anything they say. I hope it gets better, and I wish that this year is way better for you! Have a great day and remember if you ever need someone to talk to im here, or you should reach out! You are loved ❤
Like when I was at the hospital because of my suicide(attempt), my mom and
dad who hated each other before now get along because of me
1.what the actual fuck
2.I’m happy for them to finally get along but the fact it took me to almost DIE that’s when they start getting along with each other
3. I know it’s all just bullshit,there’s no way my dad JUST NOW puts the past behind him. Why not when I was 5 and I saw you once every 6 months or when you kept telling my how bad my mom was and how he is going to take me away from her or how you found out when she got a new boyfriend you flipped out and hated her even more because of your own shit. I remember being traumatized because E dropped me off at my piano practice and when you came in you were fucking pissed to see E and started yelling and threatening my mom if she doesn’t come right then and there you were going to kidnap me i wish I was never born then it would have never happened my dad wouldn’t have to use me as a threat and my mom wouldn’t have to see my ass every day and I wouldn’t annoy her and she would probably a lot better without me to be honest the fuck.
I wish I was 6 feet under the ground and I can just be with God if I even make it to heaven I’m such an ass hole I’m sneaky and annoying I cause so many problems I regret I’m going to hell I’m going to burn and feel the pain I have caused I’m sorry.
winter break is ending soon and i could not feel worse i dont want to go to school for any longer even a 2 week break isnt enough for me i hate it sm. being the quiet kid in school is one of the worst experiences ever for me and i thought when hs came maybe id change but i havent. ive unintentionally pushed people away who were trying to be my friend because i was so uncontrollably awkward and it hurts. im gonna go back to sitting alone in lunch everyday because the one girl who was sitting with me found other people to sit with. this is the second time this happened and i dont blame the girls im very appreciative that they gave me a chance but it hurts being reminded how awkward and boring i am when i really just wanna be able to make normal friendships like everyone else. the other day i was eating alone in my own house and my brother recorded me and sent it to his friends without me knowing. then he sent me two screenshots of his friends who i dont even know calling me sad for not going out and weird because most girls go out?? it was so embarrassing i started crying when i saw it my brother has always been really rude but i try not to hate him cause he's my brother but i dont understand why you would just record me without me knowing and send it to people i dont even know for them to judge me. im so tired of my lifestyle ive been so lonely ever since i moved and i hate it i cant control it but im always being judged for it its been nearly 2 years of this and i feel so bad about myself i dont wanna continue living this way
crazy how it's always your family who puts your mental health down the most as if other's doing it wasn't enough.
But you’re always will be a star ⭐️💫🌟
as someone who struggled with depression and loneliness, i can relate to you deeply. please talk to me if you want. communicating your problem is the first step to healing. know that you are seen, heard, and loved.
where did it go
@@deathslayer69-fc3gi it’s still there. like an injured knee, it healed. but there is still hurt and swelling and pain. exercising it and giving it time to heal is super important, though. even though it still might hurt in the future, you’ll know how to react to it.
I don't think I deserve to heal?
@@mara4351 i feel you. i struggle with hurting myself. and i thought that one scar didn’t deserve to heal. it needed to be there as a reminder that i took it too far. but. it needed to heal. i needed to learn from my mistakes. i needed to grow. and you can too. you deserve to grow, heal, and learn from the past.
the feeling of not wanting to vent because other ppl have worse problems than you have
hi I'm Aiden, a 15yo (trans) guy and this is my story, possible TW(s): sh, ed, mental/physical abuse and body dysphoria.
So, i don't exactly remember when everything started going for the worst, i just remember that when I was a kid I used to love hugs and physical contact, but growing up my family (most of the time) made me notice that I was chubbier compared to other kids, this really hurted me, but I never said a thing about it, at school (elementary) my classmates would make fun of my body/how taller i was compared to them and i would just laugh about it 'cause I couldn't do anything else. Then middle school started, i grew up and lost weight (so i was pretty average), everything was fine except for family fights/discussions that most of the time we had, then 8th grade started and i felt like something inside of me was wrong, i had my first short haircut and I was very happy that I finally felt like myself, i wasn't completely happy yet tho, still had to figure out why (during middle school a teacher would always make fun of me in front of the whole class/yell at me and in that period my aunt died). Finally the last year of middle school, i figured out to be trans and how happy i was “feeling masculine“, but then i would always look at my body in the mirror and i always thought of how bad i wanted to be skinnier so i started starving and lost a lot of weight. One day i remembered that the first time I tried to c*t myself i was 9,so i thought "why don't i try that again?" and so i did, my obsession over sh started, i c*tted my thighs so that no one would notice. High School started and this means that i have to "hide" my real self and submit my classmates saying that i looked emo/asking if i was depressed, i didn't really care about those comments, but then one day my parents decided that i should've been seen by a therapist, so i started this "therapy" and my therapist diagnosed me with: mood swings, generalized anxiety and that maybe I have depression, this depression of mine was never taken seriously, because my mom think that if I live in a house i cannot be unhappy (+ she poured salt on an open wound i had so that i had a real reason to cry and i was just a kid, i couldn't do anything, but looking at her and screaming in pain). I still had a lot of fights with my parents and that made me started sh again (because during that last summer and start of the year i stopped), i was very sad, i tried to k*ll myself multiple times. Then they failed me in the first year of high school (in fact now I'm repeating it) and I'm in a better class, but I still skip meals and c*t myself, summer will start soon and now I'll stop for this period, I'm not sure how much longer i can live like this, my body dysphoria is killing me, my intrusive thoughts, i am killing myself.
P.s. I'm sorry if I made any mistake, please keep in mind that english isn't my first language and I'm still learning it and I'm sorry to whoever is gonna read all that, i didn't write EXACTLY everything 'cause most things that happened in my childhood i don't even remember them/don't wanna say them.
im sorry that happened to you, man. it gets better!
im 13. I attempted when i was 10 because i was bullied for being to energetic and social. im genuinely so glad im here still, my mother loves me so much.
i'm happy you're still here, you're doing great
I love that this is like my most basic playlist on Spotify lol
i'm so sick of being poor, im scared ill be stuck living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. everyone treats me like it's my fault im poor, but i do literally everything i can to try and get out and nothing ever works.
im so sorry to hear that mh. I hope everything gets better
Lately I’ve been spiraling. I’m 18 yrs old struggling with BPD & have been for years. Self image issues, paranoia, self hatred & self sabotage have been my best friends as of lately. And every time I confide in anyone about my feelings I’ve been told to get over it or that I’m playing the victim when it’s me who’s always getting mistreated while trying to love & accept everyone else. I feel like I’m losing everyone I’ve ever cared about and I feel really lonely, I watch all of my “friends” be in their happy little relationships or them getting attention from guys while I remain unnoticed. I feel like I’m the “ugly friend” & I’ve pushed myself away from my friends because I’m jealous of them. They have everything I’ve ever wanted: to be pretty/considered pretty, nice hourglass bodies, attention & can wear anything they want because they don’t have scars in visible places. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.. sometimes I feel like lashing out and other times I feel like just isolating. Then these are my last two months of high school, I don’t know where I’m going to work or where my life is heading & im scared.. I thought I had it all planned out but I don’t.
god this was so relatable. I'm also a BPD girl and I'm going through almost everything you said in this and all I can say is we just gotta keep our heads up and try. Thats all we can do anymore. chin up queen. or else the crown slips.
I use to think i hit rock bottom a while ago till i honestly felt the fact i can't bring myself to cry anymore, because when i do, i feel i wont stop, im not feeling a thing anymore and if i do, i will never tell, i dont think i can make it much longer....i have tried getting help, but everything just goes back to the same old thing, i really hope nobody feels the same way as me, i hope you all get through it
These types of songs when i was at my lowest give sm memories back
I hope you’re ok and if it ever feels like you can’t go on, you can. You will get better and things will start to look up, I swear. I (almost) recovered and you can too. Keep going please, the world needs you and I love you. 💕
0:00 girl of my dreams - guti
3:36 my kind of woman - mac demarco
6:46 jealous - eyedress
8:52 not allowed - tv girl
11:40 it almost worked - tv girl
14:11 4 morant - tom truise & doja cat
17:03 nobody - mitski
20:16 humpty - mitski
Someone reading this, dont give up
Been struggling with sh and mental abuse and all kinds of things for my whole life. Thanks for making this playlist random stranger
ofc man. hope everything goes well.
I felt the need to write that it can get better. Ik you’ve heard that over and over but it’s true. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and been in and out of hospital and felt so hopeless at times. I’ve completely given up on anything ‘better’ but even in that mindset it can. I’ve been sober from many things for almost 2 years now and just wanted to share that it is possible and the best decision I’ve ever made was to simply just try and stop and you can too. That doesn’t mean feel guilty if you relapse or don’t immediately change at least you can try. I’m proud of you for being here thank u for reading this
This playlist makes me
feel sad in a good way I haven’t been able to cry in weeks and it’s still continuing. This has been the worst my mental health has been some days just sitting in absolute silence in my room, not being able to let anything out. So like in some ways I relay on bad coping skills.I don’t really have a lot of access to things to help me in a healthy way so what kinda helps me is sort of is playlists like this. I thought I wasn’t gonna make it halfway to Christmas but here I am still trying…
Yo yall got this, I was going through the hardest time mentally in my head during middle school and high school, and I'm about to graduate soon and move on with life, I understand I've lived a very privileged life as a younger child, but I hope everyone knows here, that theirs at least one person that genuinely care for you and that's me regardless of the background of what ever someone says to you, you're more than the words people say. and you can change, like it's super fucking hard to do, but I genuinely believe in you, don't stop trying, accept those tears, sweet heart, may this time pass for you along with those emotions, theirs nothing wrong with crying, but their is something wrong with not trying, a saying I live by, "I'm crying but I'm trying.
thats so thoughtful, thanks!!
I don't even wanna be an adult yet. I'm 15, gonna be 16 on January. I am too young for this shit man, these past years have gone by so quick, I can't even remember how it even felt like to be a kid. And now in about 3 more years, I have to worry about adulthood, which is forever lasting, unlike childhood. I've genuinely thought about just ending it, but I dislike pain and, I am just looking for a satisfying reason to keep on living. Nothing these days can seem to get me in a good mood like before, being indoors for most of the time can mess with a mf. I don't even know what to do in the future, I don't have such a bright mind like before. Being a teenager in today's society has driven me to act like an adult when I'm not suppose to, all because of how Adults nowadays seem to carelessly act like with our Generation. Staying alive, while finding a reason to keep on living, hopefully, I will. But, I am afraid I do not wield such hope as I orginially planned to. Nothing can help me, no one can at all. I always drive others away, it's how I've always been like. I can't keep friends, not because I just can't, but because I don't want to. I know that, when I do make a friend, they won't stick around forever, friendships always end in some way, not all, but important ones. Only those whom I dismiss as regular friends, stay with me. I must'nt keep anybody too close to me, or else they won't like who I really was back then. Losing close friends can cut deep. Unfortunately, I've learned that the hard way, too many times. I am too selfish, too arrogant, and too empathetic. Growing up and maturing too young as taught me to be this way, it has taught all of us to be this way. The fact that most teenagers today are growing up too fast as well as not even being able to remember the last time they've ever truly had joy and fun. It's no different for me, since I am one of those teens. Our Generation seems to hide away, and tend to look for something to idolize or make as an escape. I feel for our Generation. Life isn't fair, it never will be. Might not make to 2024, but I will yet again, try to get through it, and find a reason to keep on living, that will satisfy me. Or maybe I will just end up shutting myself. I get too jealous when I see other people my age having fun. My Nana doesn't let me go out because we live in a big city with tons of traffic. Sometimes, it embarrasses me knowing that others may not relate to most of my experiences. It wasn't so difficult for me back then, so why is it now. I usually just tend my attention to bsd and jjk just because I relate to most of the characters. I am too delusional, and It needs to be stopped, but, without it, I don't know what to do anymore. The Internet basically raised me, so, I guess that says everything. I am attempting to find other fixations such as literature and language learning classes, hopefully, I find the reason, and next year will be a great year, not just for me, but for many other misfortune souls seeking for any sort of comfort of this sad pity thing we all call, "life". Anyways, I gen hope this didn't come out as cringe, srry if it cringed some of u out, LMFAOO ☠☠
P.S. It's 2AM rn, so srry if there is any misspelt words, errors, or sentences that make no such sense ^^.
I’m around the same age as you and I can really relate to this. I’ve changed dramatically within the past year, but the most I was able to take away from it all is to find something, anything to look forward to. Try to get something done today, it doesn’t matter how significant even if it’s as small as cleaning your nightstand or changing your clothes. I’m not saying to try and be happy most days either or have an optimistic outlook on everything. But a negative attitude will exhaust and demotivate you faster. Give yourself a break once in a while. It’s not wrong to live selfishly once in a while if it’s for the benefit of your well-being. Take one day at a time. Come to terms with your past to find peace of mind. Whatever you need to do to keep going. Unless you continue holding yourself back things will get better.
I really wish you the best.
I’ve been here before and sometimes I still feel that way. It’s OK to feel the way you do, and so long as you’re trying to keep living you’re doing something right
going to turn 16 this year, and this is exactly how I feel. It's sad that our generation has to find comfort and solace in escapism by living in the world of books and shows, this world is too much. despite being a teenager, i have no prominent memories as such of either teenagehood or childhood, no friendships to look back to and nothing to cherish. All this time, I see people around me having fun and what not. Although I'll admit that I'm not jealous, but i feel like i deserve to be happy once in a while. I hardly am allowed to go out of the confines of my home, and the only thing I can look upto is to study better and acquire a better education, so that the least I can do is to spend my adulthood in peace. I'm afraid of growing up and facing the reality, of dealing with this world. So yeah I can understand how you feel! But you know what? You don't have to feel the same way forever, you can make efforts and work harder to enhance the quality of your life. You should not accept a life you don't deserve, you have the capability to make it better and more worthy. While anime and online media might be a means of escapism to many, you have to face the reality one day or the other. You have a lot to live for, and a lot of wonderful people to meet and adventures to encounter.
Surround yourself with positivity instead, and nurture your hobbies and interests! Pick a language and learn it, I'll assure you, doing so is really fun. There's a lot out there in the world that is to look up to, you just don't know it yet.
I actually relate to you very much. Last month i just turned 16, but i'm very mature for my age and it hurts. I miss being truly a child. I also want to end my life but can't bc i'm to afraid of the pain. Also i watch jjk, the characters are so relatable. Sorry for venting, i actually never comment, or tell this but i related so much that i just had to say it. Btw english is not my first langues so i'm sorry for spelling mistakes.
You should watch beserk, and also wanna talk?
I’ve been noticing a lot of you commenting here and saying you might not make it much longer. You did amazing making it to even now. It’s a hard world out there, and we do our best to muddle through it. Life is a constant fight, trying to keep ourselves afloat. I know it’s tiring and exhausting and it would be easier to quit. But I think there’s more to fight for, to live for. Each person has a story, an important one, unique to the individual. As life goes on, more is added to the story. Please keep adding to the story. Don’t finish it just yet. Maybe you don’t know what else there is to add, or why you should even continue, but I promise you that further down the road you will find the reason why you should stick around. Maybe it’s not apparent right now, but it will come to you. Until then, hold on just a little longer…
i’ve been struggling a lot since i have quited my sport (basketball). it made me smile fr. i used to be happy every single fucking time and now i dont even have a reason to be happy. i wanna be happy again, i wanna smile again. i wanna feel myself again. i just want the old version of me again.
(this is a vent, read if you'd like :))
ive had a serious of points in my life since 6th grade i think where i fall into a deep depression for weeks on end, im not able to get a real diagnosis unfortunately, because my parents don't really see it the way i do. but aside from that it's back again, and i relapsed a day ago after 4 months of being clean from self-harm. i feel so drained, but i try to not let it stop me from hanging out with my friends when i can. everything is so tiring. i don't think i wanna make it past my early 20's, but at the same time i wanna have a life when im older. im 15 right now, so you could argue that i have my whole life ahead of me, but to me it feels like im running out of time everyday. everyday i waste being at home only makes things worse sometimes. i feel so lost in my life right now, and i know it'll pass again. and it might all just be bc i may have undiagnosed clinical depression (thats what all my symptoms are leaning towards), and it not being paid attention to makes it so much harder. with the amount of times ive tried to reach out and save myself im just so done trying to explain everything, because things build up and theres always more to say. anyways thanks for reading all of this, i hope things r going well for u :)
i agree@@0pal_glasses
hey i feel like we are the same person. I am 15 too and 6th grade was literally my downfall. you described my situation so perfectly. If this makes you feel any better, you are not alone.
not even struggling rn, these songs just slap 🎉
reminiscing on the times it almost worked though… I would not have experienced some amazing things.
Same!
TW: bullying. this is also really long but i hope someone will read this.
grade 8 started a couple months ago. (im young, i know.) i didnt have many of my friends in my class this year, besides 3 of them. lets call them by their initials, AJ, RC, and AP. we were a really good friend group, a group of 4. sometimes we would be closer as duos, AJ and RC as a duo, and me and AP. that was fine. slowly, another girl (VG) joined the group, kind of replacing me and becoming close with AP. i was still part of the group i guess, but kind of the singled out one. you know, the one who would not have a partner because the duos were always together? yeah. slowly, people began talking about a girl named 'emily'. they said she was a student at our school last year and is now in highschool. they said alot of mean things about her, saying shes annoying and ugly and whatever. alot of people knew about her and it was commonly discussed for some reason. like, every day at lunch. it confused me, why it was such a big deal but i would brush it off. at lunch, RC, VG, AP, my ex boyfriend and some of his friends would sit at a table, talking about emily. they would CALL ME OVER, to come sit with them, so id hear what they said about 'emily'. it went on for a very, very long time. November 4th was AP's birthday. I gave her a gift and a long appreciation letter of how much i love her.
November 9th, everything came crashing down. I found out emily was a code name for me. My heart sunk. My best friends had been talking bad about me. It went on for so long. Everything they said raced through my head. keep in mind, this was clearly purposeful. they would call me over to sit with them, so i'd be forced to hear what they said about me.
I came home bawling my eyes out. i felt sick and never wanted to set foot in my school again. I didnt belong there. I couldnt be there. My parents obviously contacted the school. the principal started an investigation, and i stayed home for a week while they did so.
after alot of investigating, it turned out that RC and VG started this. They got AP on board, along with my ex boyfriend and some of his friends. they were the culprits, but ALOT of people knew about this and didnt tell me. and i mean ALOT. like, almost the whole grade knew without telling me a word.
When the main culprits were questioned (RC, VG, AP, ex boyfriend, his friend 1, his friend 2, his friend 3), they admitted to only doing it because they wanted to start drama. The grossest part to me is that they admitted to planning on doing this the WHOLE year, until the very last day of school. They would tell me the truth, and they wouldnt get introuble since we would have then graduated and not technically be students there anymore. It wouldve completely ruined my grade 8 year.
I am 13 years old. Ive always been positive. but for the first time in my life, i wish i was dead. Im too scared to comm!t, but i wish i could. Im at my absoloute lowest and i dont even know what to do with myself, after almost 2 months. I have been alone. I never have partners, I sit alone, and Im not me anymore.
"Shes so ugly."
"Her laugh is so annoying."
"Shes embarassing."
So much more..
Ive lost my spark.
Edit - January 20th, 2024
I'm doing way better guys! Yesterday was my birthday, I just turned 14. I now have the sweetest most affectionate bf who makes me feel so so special. I'm still alone at school but I really am doing better. ❤
this fr made me tear up. you all are just 13 and already this shit is happening? don't let them get to you, I know they already probably have but you'll get through this. Your spark will come back to you, it may not be the same but I know you'll find happiness eventually. I'm not really good at cheering up people but I seriously am rooting for you and wish you the best. I bet are an amazing person and just hang on, you'll get through this eventually.
I literally have no words to express how sorry i am, im going throught a "similar" situation that didnt affected me as much but the words that some people said about me resonate in my head. Im homeschooled now, this wasnt the main reason of why i homeschooled but knowing what other people thought about me made less welcome than I already felt in the first place. It's not a big deal, but your situation is very painful. You are incredible, please do not commit suicide, I know how much this situation affects you and you are within your rights, but why be permanently affected by something that is temporary, by a pain that will end at a given moment? School life is cruel. Seriously, it is.
it was even worse for me when i was 13. that’s a really sad age. just want to say it will definitely get better❤. i would not believe these words if someone said them to me six years ago. but the reality is happiness is waiting for you. please don’t take your life or hurt yourself. there are (or will be) people that will make you shine even brighter then before. sending love and hugs 🫂💕
I hope you find real friends who love ❤you for you. Don’t let those scumbags take love from your life.
im sorry to hear that bro, i hope you get better friends soon
(long ass vent)
im 16 y/o and i feel completely hopeless with life. im not lonely, i dont have self-esteem issues, im confident and dont have any glaring issues that i dwell over. i just lack the self-will to do anything good for myself. i feel no push to do anything. i just want to lay down and exist. and sometimes i dont even wanna do that. i feel like theres something wrong with me but i dont know what to do or what to change. i feel like im going through the motions of living without actually doing it right. it feels like im living the wrong way. i think once i get out of high school and go to college, moving out of my parents house, ill really mess myself up. i hardly take care of myself with people around me. i feel like i wont eat or do the basic routines to live. its not like im going out of my way to do bad things to myself, i just dont have the will to do anything. i feel like im living wrong and i hate myself for it. why is everything so complicated, why cant i take care of myself and live properly. people told me it gets better when you grow up, and now im nearly graduated high school. im still waiting.
I get it, I really do. Sometimes we just can't function and work. Sometimes its hard to have motivation. But you have to have hope. Without hope you have nothing. I know this sounds cringey, but I always hope for a better future. I always hope that my efforts will pay off. And when they don't, I get sad sure, but I try harder, I fix my mistakes. I get it, life can suck and its hard to do things, but having hope and trusting yourself is a great way to making yourself feel confident. Beleive in yourself, and if you don't some random guy on the internet will.
I don't know who u are or where you are but I really hope with all my heart that you will be okay.Just try to find someone(if you can afford a psychologist then do that)that you can talk to and someone who can support and help you. You are not alone just know that.If you ever feel like that at least know that i can listen to you too
(long ass rant too) Honestly, you put it perfectly. In 16 too and im turning 17 in June. I don't know who you are or what you've been through, but what I can tell you, is that you aren't alone. it's barely the second month and I started the year off with my now 3rd attempt in ending my life. I lost my dad at 5. My mom wasn't really there for me or my sister mentally. we didn't have a good relationship, and now my mom is mending those mistakes but im overwhelmed by how much iv'e gone through but at the same time im trying to think that the traumas that iv'e been through aren't a big deal. I got this mindset from a lot of people in my life. The grief with my dad, the verbal abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the PTSD from different events in different times from my life. Im sensitive and i let people walk all over me, and even though i take medication for my depression and for sleep, i still can't help but think what my purpose here is. Why my attempts aren't working, or if im just here to see how much I disappoint people. Iv'e been hearing a lot of people tell me how much disappointment they have in me but to me, i don't know how to care about that anymore. It's like my emotions are drained and i can't feel anything left. Iv'e cried so much and i still continue to, but i think what hurts the most is that the people that broke me the most, are now the ones that think they are able to tell me whats right or wrong about myself. So yeah, they're disappointed? Me too. Im disappointed in myself for so many reasons, and i don't think that feeling is going away anytime soon. I got myself into a cycle of using weed to help me cope since i gave up on everything else, and now I can't stop using. I broke my family. My life. Im only 16 and I already think iv'e lived long enough to know if i wanna stay here or not. I don't know what to do. I hope you end up being okay though, because I believe you could get through it, even if others cant.
@@izelgonzalez9376 thank you for your response. im in no position to give you advice, given my situations pretty bleak as well, but i wish you the best. life can suck hard. i understand the feeling of wanting to get away from it all. we gotta push through it though. theres an end of the line for both of us but it’s definitely not here and not anytime soon. i hope youre able to distance yourself from the people who make you hurt and find reason to do good for yourself, and vice versa hope that i can too. if you think im able to get through this then you can as well. best of luck
@@quanxis_lover4609 hi, I'm crying reading this because I felt much the same when I was 15/16. I'm 44 now, but I made five suicide attempts between the ages of 12 and 18. There is no panacea, but I can say that friendships, hard as they are to establish, have been what saved my life. Please try to connect with people, even over a distance if making friends nearby is not working out at this time.
A lot of what I see in my students your age is an incredible sense of loneliness, isolation, despair. The world is a mess, and we need to have people around us to deal with practical challenges that are afoot as well as to share the good moments. If everyone here would just exchanges email addresses, Discord, Messenger, Snap, whatever info and talk from time to time it would do you a world of good.
My other best advice is to take up any creative or intellectual activity, no matter how much you suck at first (or even after a while), and practice it a little bit daily. Feed your brain; even if you read a page of a novel or play one logic or word game a day, it will help your brain fog clear.
i just wanna be a kid again. growing up is so painful
I’ve never felt so alone in my life, I have a best friend and I’m apart of a pretty big friend group. But even when I’m with them I feel like I don’t belong. Everyone’s closer with each other than I am with them. And most importantly everyone has a special someone,everyone’s dating and I feel so isolated because I have no one. I feel like I’m missing apart of me, like I’m incomplete or like I’m not supposed to be there which sounds really emo of me to say lol but honestly I don’t know how long I can take the heartache of feeling alone when surrounded by so many people
it isnt a feeling anymore, it is deep down and it hurts. its like someone is squeezes your heart, not soft. Its like someone is trying to squeeze the juice out of your heart and enjoys it, so they squeeze harder. It feels like everything is about to fall apart during the squeezing. but if i do it, everything goes onto my family. i dearly love them but it hurts so much. It feels like the heaviest rock exists fell down onto your heart, loved ones try to pick it up but it is too heavy, so they leave it. i wish someone could ease this feeling. it doesnt go away. it hurts so much.
Im glad this popped up, I've been feeling so... Weirdly sad. I feel like so slugglish right now. I hate winter, it is just so, cold of emotions for me. I've been feeling so upset even without school, with my break, I have nothing to so I've been just lying in bed feeling useless. I like the bright summers better even if it's extremely hot, it's where i have the best memories.
I know I'm kind of venting here, but recently, I got into a new relationship with someone, during the fall, everything was great and new and I got to see him often and be with him, as time passes onto weeks, I feel some disconnection between us, he says he doesn't feel it and says we are doing well in it. I get to spend less time with him and he's always busy, but I'll be patient, no matter my overthinking, I overthink a lot to where it affects me, it makes me cry and think such extreme. But then I'm fine 10 minutes after. I know this is a lot to read but I feel so depressed and stuffy today, I know I can change my attitude or how I feel, I can be happy if I like to, I just like feeling this sad emotion. I know this is a lot of text, this is just my own personal thing. I just wish things will change for the good, I can't take it like this anymore.
Now the thing is, I feel better now and my mind isn't in a sad mood, it wants to do something else besides be sad, it's strange, like am I supposed to be better? It feels weird that I'm not staying in this sadness for long. But all it takes to feel better is just a few minutes to express my emotions
You just described my whole situation as well i understand these feelings too,who would have thought lives could be so similar@@iliminate581
uagh. my grades are awful. I cant motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning or do my work. I feel so bad
I feel you. Try some motivational videos and a routine
the worst part about me is i can have everything i need or want in a boy and i'll still feel lonely or depressed. I'm currently in a relationship with a boy and i seriously don't know how to tell him that i'm not doing okay. idk how to tell them that i can't call or talk to him about anything because all i do everyday is sit in my bed and cry. he makes me so insanely happy but i just can't keep going to him for the happiness i need to survive. i've really been thinking of hurting myself in some way and i've even talked with my parents about it. I have a good support system but the more i continue to live the stronger my emotions get and i just don't feel like waiting any longer on this earth. I sound so selfish. I have a loving mom and a loving stepfather and loving siblings and a loving boyfriend yet i still can't seem to find a reason to live. I just want to cry till i rot and die, but i can't. i need to take care of everyone and feel bad and feel this and feel that but i can't. i don't seem to feel anything. i just want to learn how to love the things around me and i've tried. but i'm seriously at my limit. - Audrey 2023, 12/29/23
I feel you
hahaha and here I am back here again. some times I feel like I'm about to explode but I don't and it feels like my entire soul is dying and I'm screaming and crying inside and I can't express that so I just don't say anything because how can I even communicate how fucking low I feel all the time. I just want to be free. I just don't know how to be. my cat always sits with me when I'm suicidal. it's almost as if she knows. I don't think I'll be here much longer, I hope nobody mourns me too much as inside Im already dead and have been for years. the grief and sadness inside me is killing me. I'm just a body, mentally I'm not here. if it's not one thing it's another. if I'm not crying over my body, I'm crying over my face, if I'm not crying over boys I'm crying over how I can't get the courage to kill myself. im supposed to be getting healthy but how am I supposed to keep eating the foods I want when Evey single girl around me is so fucking skinny. I sit in front of the mirror and try to pose to show my bones, I don't know why I like that. it's starting to be concerning. I look at all the girls and immediately compare my body to theirs and wish I was skinnier and could wear pretty outfits without my fat ugly stomach ruining it. im going to fail my exams because I don't care and day by day they get closer. i genuinely don't think anything will ever get better and I am so scared one day I'll just explode and feel everything that's stuck in me. a years worth of emotion, I'm terrified.
i used to take fent, its starting to get harder and i don’t stop thinking about it.
3:45 whenever I hear this song I think of somone I used to talk to. We weren’t even together but when we were talking my mental health got to its worst and I didn’t think I was going to make it to 2024. But the he came into my life and made me feel like life was worth living. Whenever i would relapse or have bad thoughts I would think to myself “at least I have him”. We don’t speak anymore tho lmao
it’s really weird right now. i’ve been really close with someone for a couple years, as friends, then it was more for a while, until they just went cold on me because it wasn’t that special anymore, it meant less, after i gave all i could and would’ve given more (i wasn’t told that until months later, i was only pushed away). as of recent i found out there was someone else, in the time that they were growing more distant from me. that someone is still around, still being picked over me yet im the most special person to them, or so they say. i care about them and so i don’t wanna get in the way of their happiness, still they keep me around and i just watch.
everytime i think i'll be okay, something drags me back down to that pit i've tried to escape for so long, and everytime it gets harder to crawl back out. i'm getting closer to the point where i get dragged back in and don't put up a fight, maybe never even come out.
its always mitski, tv girl and eyedress. they're always together at times like this
This is off-topic, but thank you for using this picture. I was trying to find motivation to sketch, and when I stumbled upon this playlist, I found the image to be a good reference. Thank you, and happy new year.
My mental health is so bad rn, I feel terrible. I’ve always grown up in a toxic household but as soon as I come home happy I get depressed because I have to remember my sister left me, my parents just want somthing to scream at me for. It’s just so depressing, I was laughing at church I was happy nothing hurt but as soon as I saw her face it broke me completely, that she hates me.
Wrote this quick bc I want to go outside
I wonder if people really care for me…everyone on the school is always talking about going to college, building a family, they all seem to have a bright future ahead but I wonder if I’ll have a bright future, if I’ll even have a future, I’m tired about everything, I almost can’t get up from bed in the morning, but for some reason I still avoid asking for help, there must be something wrong with me…
it's totally okay to feel like that. There's nothing wrong with you. We all feel unmotivated sometimes, and it's okay. Enjoy the present
'it almost worked' by tv girl actually made me tear up. thank you so much for this playlist.
ofc
just been so tired lately, ive been in this slump for awhile and I dont think I can get out of it this time. Ive attempted and failed to kms three times, I feel just so unmotivated to do anything at all, im losing interest in people and things I used to take comfort in as well as life in general, I have this constant feeling of emptiness. the only way I found to avoid this is getting high, which I cant even do anymore because im broke ash and if my mom caught me doing it she would probably kill me.
I know it doesnt seem like a lot but its really been fucking with me lately, and adding to that I feel like the people im closest to dont really like me and dont want to be my friend anymore and are just keeping me around for pitys sake
Hii i hope you are feeling a bit better even though it has only been 4 hours since you wrote this comment lol. Ive been in your shoes when i was younger and i would suggest u to spend more time with your friends and ask them to hang out even tho you feel like they dont like u that much. At the end of the day who knows you may have a lot of fun and your friendships will improvee.
Anyway dont smoke too much because its draying your money xdd I hope u and your family have an amazing 2024!!
hey, hope you're doing better now. ik im just a stranger on internet but i felt bad for u. i understand the feeling of emptyness. i became better by writing my feelings and goals (which i thought i didn't have at the time) in my journal, i set a goal to improve my life, and it did improve. the little things help, if you still need it or will need it in the future, have this suggestion as an option.
Hi everyone
I don’t know if my words will make a difference but i just wanna say that it can get better. What you're going through rn is very real and painful and you're protecting yourself the best way you can.. you're very strong.
But know that what you think is the only way to stop your problems, is just the reflection that you desperately need change. Whatever the change may be, deep inside you know. Move out, break up, quit your shitty job, move countries, get help, travel: just get another perspective on life.
I dont know if my experience can/should be used as an exemple but as someone who attempted su*cide and went to the hospital and then to a psych ward, it does get better. I moved out and little by little i got better and now, i dont regret what i did but i just needed to get away from the shitty situation I was in
Great words.
idk how to feel rn, yesterday i texted to most important people in my life and tell em that it end, and that i love em. i didnt do anything, bc my bsf saved me, shes such an angel!! but my moms still mad at me fr, soo yeah.
how life has been feeling lately
Fucked up tbh
i dont know if its intentional or not but i find it neat that the first song here is "girl of my dreams", and the picture of the girl on the screen, commonly known among tv girl fans as the band's logo, is called "dream girl"
She’s so beautiful
Hey yall, just wanna let you know that: everything will be okay. Things will get better, you are loved. Don’t give up, you can do this.
If you’ve self-harmed in the past, or just a few minutes ago.. that’s fine! We all have difficulty’s. I’m still proud of you for getting through this. I love you, have a wonderful day
I'm too burnt out. Overwhelmed by emotions and stuff... It's eating me alive and everyday I felt empty.
I’m so sorry. I hope your doing okay now and things are getting better for you. Things do get better overtime!❤️
i didn’t think i’d make it to the new year. happy new years everyone!
Music of this style relaxes me
ik I might just be overreacting but sometimes I just feel like at one point nobody gives effort to be with me or try to care for me , just say words to make me feel better. It honestly hurts even more when you're in a bad household iykwim . it really shatters me when people say mean things to me but at one point I just want to end everything not like anybody would even care but I honestly don't know what to feel abt life nm . I hate it all.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
tysm bro i love you fr.@@supravietuitoriblog547
The worst part for me about being an atheist is wanting to get better mentally, but not being able to because I don't know why I'm even living. I don't want to get old, start a family or long term relationship, and I don't have any goals, like getting certain jobs, I don't even really have any hobbies. Even if it were the opposite, I don't know know what living and accomplishing everything I want would actually do in the end. I've tried turning to other religions, but I can't even make myself believe. I've never gotten signs, proof, or anything.
i hate love ,it is endless loop of meeting, fall in love, pushing them away and feel guity why cant i just stop falling in love, it so stupid but i cant help from fell harder and harder each time thinking of those memory i wanna bury it deep deep underneath those cold dirt but will soon realize when it rain it will come back from where it buried
I'm not sure what i'm doing at this point, it's not that I want to disappear for long lasting. But more for the moment being. I don't go out due to me being scared with how many people hurt me yk? I'm turning eighteen soon and I didn't live my high school years cause I was too scared to get hurt. I stayed doing homeschool for those four years. Now on my last. Cause i was bullied constantly in middle and elementary school. What do I do? I'm not sure..
To anyone who is going through a terrible time, I wish more than anything but happiness for you. I know life can be scary, I know it can be full of terrifying and confusing experiences. But remember, your entire life is not destined to be miserable or tiring. No matter what happens, don't ever give up. Life has something for you, the happiness you deserve and desire. It just takes it's time to get to you. Even if that's unfair, life is no matter what we do. Life will always be unfair. I hope all of you feel relaxed soon, even if I don't know who you are personally. I'm proud of you :3!
Thank you for these words I literally scroll through these comments reading then all and answering them this one made me cry I'm sorry for these years u had to go through hope you will find peace if you didn't find it yet❤
I had this boy that had liked me for so long, he even confessed his feelings towards me multiple times, and I rejected him every single time but we had agreed to stay friends since we have been close for a very long time now. over time he has began to get more distant but I eventually found myself falling for him. I then found out that he had started dating one of my friends that he hasn't even know for that long, my friend had told the boy to stop talking to me and that obviously hurt me because ive known the boy for so long and that he stopped talking to me because some girl he hasn't even known for that long told him so. They seem really happy together tho and im happy he moved on. (not)
oh my god this is now my absolute FAVORITE playlist!! It's like u put all my favorite songs together in one whole playlist 😭💗 this really made me feel something. Me and my ex broke up this month and today is our 1 year anniversary :( I'm honestly at the lowest part of my life rn but listening to tv girl, mitski, basically everything in this entire playlist, makes me feel so much better. 💗
I’m sorry you’ve been going through a really rough time, I promise things will change ❤️ stay safe
@@hippiedebris omg how sweet this is 😭, no ones ever replied to me like this and when I tell you this comment made my whole day! ! I appreciate you so much I hope you have a great day :3 💗
good luck! Send you a big hug from Spain :)
@@AlbaRoldanVesperinas wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate you 😭💝 you are so nice, have a great day! :)
@@iiimitski ur rlly sweet
friends are the best, yet worst thing to happen to you. they're the best because you have fun together, you watch things together, you play together, you do everything together. but...but when they leave,(possibly forever,)......that's the last straw. it was bad before, but now....they're gone. they were the only thing that was keeping you going. you want to join them, but you can't because it would cost your life. you don't want that, do you? but you do. "but it's a sin" you say to yourself. so you fall deeper and deeper in to a hole you can't get out from. want to ask for help, but you can't. so you try to help yourself. then you stop trying. you lay in the hole known as depression. and stay there. for what you think is forever. then someone sees you in that hole. they help you get out. you were so close to leaving this world. but they made you stay. and you're very glad for that.
hey, to all those people who are thinking of taking their own life, please don't. someone out there needs you. so please, get some help. sending hug to all the people who need them. :]
The ugly thoughts are getting more and more intense every day I feel like I’m being attacked by them. Honestly, don’t know how much time I have left.
skill issue
a long ass vent bc i needed it lmao
im only 12 and i feel suicidal, idk why but i feel like theres no point to living anymore and everyone hates me and thinks im annoying. i feel like im not growing the same way as other kids bc alot of kids in my grade are experiencing things that i’ve experienced at 8-10 and that ive gone through more stuff than others, but ive been so scared to tell anyone bc my whole life my parents have been telling me stuff like ‘kids cant have anxiety or any mental illness’ or ‘dont be stupid ur too young for this shit’, so i think telling my parents that im suicidal on top of everything thats been happening to me theyd tell me ‘oh well dont be dramatic ur just a kid’ or ‘ur just going through a phase’. whats really fucking annoying is that i used to have a friend who has anger issues but my mum wants me to be friends w her again and didnt give a single shit about what i was going through just bc shes the one who ‘has problems’ even though she (my friend) beat another one of my friends up way too many times. i just feel like nobody gives a shit about me bc everyone in 6th grade is so self centered omg its driving me insane. like, so what? so what if uve been really tired or stressed lately? dont take it out on me. ive never taken it out on anyone on purpose before.
on top of all this, i have shit friends. i got a 60% on a test last week and i started talking to my friends abt it but my friend just told me ‘well last year i got a 20% on a test stop being dramatic’ like, what? i tried venting to you for once and you just tell me that u get worse grades than me? well, good for u for not studying, but like, ive always been pressured to be the ‘perfect, smart’ kid, so ofc a 60% is gonna look bad for me. whats even worse is that she always vents to me abt her problems and even talked shit abt me last year, but all of a sudden, when i vent to her, shes always like ‘well, uhm, i go through worse things than u’ like hold up. wdym worse things lmao i mean, are u suicidal, do u wanna sh but wont for gods sake and do u think abt death, like, every second of ur life? ofc not, so like stfu?? and theres this other friend who istg only cares abt herself. shes always bragging abt how shes better and my moms told me atleast a thousand times that kids at this age are like this, but srs? and then theres a voice in the back of my head telling me everyday ‘theres no point of living anymore just kys’ but i just cant stand to think about kms. i mean, what if i end up surviving the attempt and then everyone’ll think i was doing it for attention?
im rlly sorry for typing all this i just wanted to write everything down since i rlly couldnt tell anyone abt my problems, and ik yall are gonna think im dramatic or something so im sorry for commenting this long ass vent
edit: ive gotten so much better now even though its still kinda the same. thanks to everyone who replied and gave me advice cause honestly, what mainly helped me was knowing that im not the only one so thank u all so much!! ❤️
edit: it got bad again when i thought i was getting better good lord someone please fucking help me.
like, i picked up the courage to tell my friend i was suicidal and she really called me emo. whats really fucked up is that she even joked around with a whole fucking class about me being ‘emo’ and ‘dramatic’ and i had to play with along with it. shes so self centered to the point where she straight up calls me ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ as a joke when she knows from the moment we’ve met ive been insecure of my weight and looks. i dont know if shes trying to act mature but she will NEVER understand the pain i go through everyday. i spent all of 6th grade skipping classes to cry silently in the bathrooms telling myself ‘why is this happening to me’ and ‘why is life so unfair’. like i really thought that for a week it was getting better only for this to happen, coming back to this comment to vent even more cause NOBODY, except strangers on the internet who actually understand my problems (thanks), will care about my mental health. i kept telling myself over and over again that one day i will find peace but at this point i think the only way ill ever find peace is by ending it all. i was supposed to have a great summer and glow up and shit but i guess not, bc if primary was stressful imagine how secondary will be like.
at this point i know that i should leave my friends because theyre the only ones doing this to me without even realizing but they wont let me. they really wont. so what am i supposed to do? i think its quite clear to me that theyre toxic and im better off with another group in my grade which im actually so much more comfortable with but at this point ive told my friends so much stuff about me theyll probably start rumors or whatever bc everyone and i mean every single girl in my grade only cares about gossip, gossip, gossip to the point where ethey dont care if it hurts someone physically and mentally and ive tried to keep it cool but god i just cant anymore.
again im sorry for typing so much shit its just my life is so much worse that before idk what to do about it.
I love you ❤ (from the stranger on the Internet telling u everything is going to be okay).
@@totally_not_asuperstar1awh thank u 😭
they don't deserve you, please do not try to kys, you're better than that and istg you'll get better
I love you ❤ you have so many things to live for.
Your feelings are completely valid, and honestly I think you need to drop that "friend" because it seems like the only energy she is going to bring into your life is negative!! Your life is worth the effort you put forth within it, stay safe and remember your worth!! 🫶🫶
love this playlist, hope your doing okay ♥
Thanks, I hope you're doing alright too :)
when I was 15 I isolated myself for a long time, watched depressing stuff, I feel like I dragged myself down into a pit, I take medication but it's not the same, I really wish sometimes it could go back to the way things were when I was young.
I really feel like my peers hate me
Recently, I've just been noticing that a lot of my peers have been responding to me so negatively or just not responding at all. I really understand why, I find myself annoying, too. I'm not the best person out there, but I'm not really decent either. I lash out at people for the smallest of things, I'm blunt about everything, I don't get jokes that easily, I insult people anytime I can. I'm horrible. I try my best to understand people the best way I can, I try to compliment them in more subtle ways, I try to apologize by giving them gifts or food (I can't communicate verbally, I usually say the wrong things), and I always try to give advice that I know; focus on yourself, don't let people's words cut through you. Maybe it's bad advice since it kind of sounds..
.. narcissistic, but that's just me. Am I narcissistic? I'm not sure myself. I'm not confident, but I think really highly of myself. I'm kind of pretty and nice, but I don't think my worth is even of an average human. I'm pretty sure I'm just horrible. Also, the fact that my class vice president, the kindest and most understanding person I know, ignores me a lot of the time says a lot. Am I seriously THAT unlikable? I hope not. I really hope not because I still want to have actual friends,not people who hate me and just pretend to be friends with me for benefits or out of guilt. I feel like my own partner hates me, too. He tells me that he loves me, and that I'm deserving of his love, but am I really? I mean, I'm mean to my own best friend, imagine what I am to him. When I get mad at other people and get into a sour mood, I just say mean or rude stuff to anyone, including him. I think my adviser hates me, too. She always looks annoyed when I talk to her, but she looks so happy talking to my other classmates. Sometimes I wonder why I was even born when I'll just make people hate me so much. I'm annoying everyone. This whole rant is probably annoying, too. I feel like I'm acting too self-centered, maybe I am self-centered. No, I actually AM self-centered. Why am I expecting that people will just act according to what I want? I'm not the main character, no one is. We're all just side characters to each other and we even view ourselves as background characters sometimes whenever we feel like our worth is nonexistent. Right? Not sure. Don't know. Really confused. I know people talk about me behind my back. No wait, I DON'T know, I just assume they talk about me behind my back. Earlier, when I told my Vice President to tell my other classmates to stop playing with the balloons (I'm horrified by balloons) and that I know they're playing with the balloons because I can see their reflection on the whiteboard, I heard them reply with "It won't even pop!" or asking their friend "Can you see me on the whiteboard?" and I feel like they're just annoyed with what I just requested. My teacher already got mad at us this Year's End Party because I had a panic attack when the balloons started popping so she told us to not use balloons in the future ever again, so I asked my President to not use those rubber balloons and instead use the aluminum ones. He didn't listen and went on with the plan and whoops! I had another panic attack while my teacher was yelling at the whole class when two of the balloons popped. My makeup was really ruined so I looked so ugly while crying. The worst thing about all of this isn't my panic attack, but the fact that the class officers, mostly my president and his friends, kind of made fun of me and played with the balloons more until all of them had popped. I really hated that since I trusted them so much. I actually looked up to them because they seemed fun and smart, but they were only mean and careless of others. I don't understand how people aren't considerate of what their peers are afraid of, more so, what they have trauma of. Speaking of trauma, I remember that ever since last school year, my president kept bringing up my past relationship with my ex (who SA'd me) and he was all so happy about it even though I already told him to stop bringing it up to me. I couldn't care less if he gossiped about the whole situation with someone else, just as long as he doesn't talk to me about it then I'll be fine. I really shouldn't be ranting like this to the internet but at this point I'm feeling way too low on worth to even give myself the decency of being the slightest bit private about my life.
I'm such a horrible, self-centered, insecure, way too angry, overtly anxious, really annoying, angsty person.
I feel the same I try to be funny but my people don't get my jokes I say every thing that comes to my mind which can very stupid I'm too sensitive and everything overwhelms me i don't how to say the right thing at the right time i don't how to stand up for myself i used to be very good at school every thing was easy now i force myself to study I hate my peers who have better grades than me i hope i can have strength cause I have a dream to follow but stress is making me weak I get I'll just because I worry too much I worry about the future and whether my career choices are bad I'm so reliant on people's opinions I cant live without praise I think this is what makes me so miserable I just want to live the now and believe in my self worth
You opened my eyes for people who act like you, I suggest finding a trust friend to open this up to and realize where you go wrong and hurt others and how you can slowly change it
Summer break had just started, and yet here I am, sitting by myself all alone because my siblings are with their friends. I don't live with my parents because they made a mistake that they can never change. My grandparents are at work all night and all day. So im here, all alone in the house and trying to make myself happy for what I do... but I can't because every time I remind myself of what I had done that was good, it drifts back off to all the bads things that I've done, said or what bad things were done to me. I can't handle being alone. In a few weeks, I'll be having anger management therapy and therapy for my depression and anxiety. My grandmother is there for me and says she understands how I feel, but she really doesn't... I can tell she's trying her best.
i have no place to call home, school isn't as fun and engaging as it was before, my friends doesn't feel like friends, my true friends are far away from me in terms of life status and my inner child is hurting everytime. sadly i could not use the recommended help my friends or people suggested me since it's impossible at this point.
im nearly an adult at this point and im scared to grow up but im also too scarred to even want to stay as a child. my whole life i've been scared and hopeless that i even fear happiness, i wish to not be scared of getting hurt anymore especially by people, i wish to be brave and also be stable by the time comes somewhere in my adulthood.
i blame my parents for putting me up in so much stress... i blame my parents for not planning well on creating a broken family... i blame them on how i turn out to be... i blame my entire lineage for not being a proper family...
let's just hope my situation won't turn into a much more morbid than the previous one, i don't know how much i can endure in this try hard times.
im so sorry you feel like this. I don't know how you exactly feel but I feel like I get it. Parents usually put all this stress not even knowing it mentally drains us, but you can break that family trauma!!. Growing up shouldn't be scary, it should more years for happy memories, new friends, and more opportunities. I feel the same way with my friends, I've drifted so far after moving but even before I left I never had someone I could call my best friend. I switched to homeschool and feel more free but even more alone. I'm just starting high school so I feel like im missing out on every teenagers high school life, I feel like I can't go to anyone for anything, but I know I will get better and you can too mh
@@InayaHassan-u1e thanks for this kid and don't worry about missing out too much in your life as at this point of age... i don't really know what is a proper teenage life too since covid back then it stunted me socially and turned me into an internet addict, i've been fucked hard that time but it was much worse when covid was done too.
i was 16 with unresolved mental issues so i was damned then that i secretly to my mom, didn't go to school for months on end. im shock that im even in 12th grade now but im so unsure of college right now because... my mom doesn't want me anymore so she's kicking me out of her life once i graduate and i hate how emotionally damned my father's side of the family.
i bet you still got the chance kid since we live completely different lives and i hope it goes well for you unlike mines, stay on the positive side as always even in the toughest of times and pause to breathe mate and cry your heart out since that helps me out... you got this buddy i believe in you :3
i hate being burnt out in sports. i used to be one of the best athletes in the state, and now i can barely even make finals every meet. but even when i do make finals, i question why im even doing it. all i think about is getting through it, i dont even think about why im even doing this sport anymore. its ruined the way i see things, ruining the way i see myself. ive been contemplating to stop eating because lighter = faster, right? i always look in group pictures and think about how fat i look, even when everyone tells me im just average weight. i havent made the podium in years, and i hate it that im not first. it makes me feel like im not good enough. i have to train for more than 4 hours every day, but i hate every second of it. ive been hanging on for the past year because the team needs me, but im just the background player. someone they need but never pay attention to. every day training is so hard, i feel like throwing up often. im starting to think the only way to make it stop is to just end it all. i cant quit because ill feel like a disappointment but i can’t continue doing it anymore. i hate how everyone always mentions how good i am and that i can get into d1 college for my sport because i dont feel good enough. i hate waking up every day knowing i have to go through life. i hate waking up knowing that im me. and i hate opening up to people because i feel so pathetic and weak.
Surprised I made it to 2024, I’m so proud of everyone that did
😊
Honestly, this just popped into my All tab on the side of another video, but it's kind of how I've been feeling lately.
My psychiatrist accuses me of not taking my medication properly and he got mad at my mother for letting me take my medication on my own (which is understandable, but I wanted to keep it in my room so I do NOT forget to take it.). I feel helpless, because I feel like the medication is not working, I've been taking depratal for half a year and two months after I started it the magic faded, I had my first panic attack since I started it and I almost took my own life soon after. All of that stacked and I was almost admitted to an institution, but luckily I did not have to go. Recently my mental wellbeing's been getting worse, seemingly because of hormone changes during my period, but my low mood kept persisting before and after my period ended. Idk if any of this made any sense, but I just needed to get it off my chest.
He broke up with me 2 months ago, and I'm still not over it, even though we only dated for a month. Now he is dating the girl that talks shit about me, used to be friends with me, pick me, backstabber, and a player. He left me for the girl that ruined me. She came into school with a hickey on her neck from him, and I wondered, what did I really do wrong to get the boy who used to tell me he loved me every night to break up with me and go for my ex-friend? Am I even good enough? How many rumours will be spread about me from her? Do they talk shit about me every night? why cant I accept the fact that he loves someone else? Why is my soul still attached? Am I okay?
recently my best friend and I haven't been in touch as much. she's always been incredibly kind to me and treated me like a real person when nobody else did. recently, she found someone special to her, and understandably, our communication has had a few holes in it, but instead of being up-front about this new relationship with me, she blocked me. prior to me knowing about this relationship, i would text her and get left on open a lot, and eventually she said i didn't respect her enough and she cut ties.
i'm so happy and thrilled for her relationship, but it hurts that she chose to cut ties without being honest with me
lastly, i feel like an asshole about this entire situation like it's my fault, i have this guilt about it on my shoulders, no matter how many friends have told me it isn't my fault, i still feel it is
I went through not the easiest upbringing , I would get into it but I feel like it’s just an excuse for me to be sad but most days I don’t even know if it effects me. Part of me is happy all the bad things my parents and other people done to me happened because then it gives me and excuse to be sad . I know it’s messed up but what’s scarier than the trauma is the fact maybe I’m just sad and empty for no other reason than being empty. I don’t even know if this makes sense but I’m so so lonely. I have a loving boyfriend and friends who support me but I could never admit these things and talk about this feeling it’s like I can feel so much of everything all at once so I can’t come up with a name so instead I just say I feel nothing .
To those who struggles with their mental health, I wish all of you a better place in the future
Out of topic but the girl shown in the video is absolutely stunning
i am once again at my lowest. and im doing nothing to fix it. i fucked up so hard. i once again fell into the hole that i fought so hard to get out of. im not even sure if my friends even like me anymore, im draining out my parents. im just complaining and im doing nothing to fix it. im stupid, lazy and a crybaby. im the problem so dont even try to tell me otherwise. i dont know where it all went downhill for my happiness, i was a naturally happy kid and now i just fell empty, my mood has weird swing and i dont know why. i just fell lost and i dont know why. my friendship with them just doesent fell the same anymore. im not a social person either so its hard for me to talk to ppl. its so weird and wrong because i have parents who love me, and a 4 friends but i had problem with the other two and i dont know if or friendship will ever be the same after what ive done to them. even those two girls tried to fix me but i just wouldnt listen and now it finally hit me. i am so problematic and its almost like im meant to die lazy and unhappt. i just want to end it all because i am the pure example of lmost every deadly sin and i hate it. i dont know if ill ever heal but i hope everything would get better for me. i just jope ill heal and become a new pearson. there is no point in trying to make me think otherwise bcs ik im the problem so dont even try. but comort is appreciated
I luv this playlist, thank you🫶🏻 (I'm Brazilian)
To whoever you are I really hope you get better. Life is and will be extremely hard. Just as much as it can be beautiful. So don’t give up. The more you wait for happiness. The better the award. So seek help however you can. Even by talking to someone here or a trusted person. So please don’t be isolated and give up. The world will be affected without you, someone will be affected without you. So please don’t give up, and keep pushing for the award. I promise it will be so worth it.
i love all these songs help
What a pretty playlist❤
These playlist is so real, my mental heath is so bad but none of my family members know nor my friends, im pretty sure my mom hates me because im just like my dad (they have problems) so yknow thats hurts, i also have to deal with friend drama and example is my friend flirting with my crush even tho she knows i like him and she also has a bf, i have to deal with draining friends and feeling like im out of place for everything, i have a lot of friends but even with my close ones i just feel like i dont deserve them and like i dont belong here, i always have to deal with my parents fighting too. Im sensitive but i hate expressing my feelings and i never talk about them, i just feel drained and tired. Even when i get a good amount of sleep and wake up i just want to go to bed. Im like rotting my winter break away. And chrsitmas wasnt the same as it was when i was younger. Everything is just different and i hate it im growing up so fast and i just want to be a little kid again. And all my parents do is scold eachother for everything. Nothing is fun anymore and i js wanna run away. My friends BARELY text me at all and im js the floater friend. Im nvr anyones first choice. Everyone always has a more importent person then me in their life, so i could dissappear and no one could care. Im js so tired of all of this. My parents yell at me for everything and i just feel like a horrible sister,daughter, friend and ect. And stress of school,drama,parents and looks. Like im girl pretty but nvr boy pretty every sing boy that ive liked never liked me back. I just feel ugly and idk but i just needed to get this off my chest. But anyways this playlist is really good, love you all!💗
Hi i hope you are feeling a bit better noww, even though it has been only 5 hours since you typed this comment lolol. If i were you i would talk to this friend that flirted with your crush and tell her how you feel about her behaviour In person. For example, you can invite her to eat out, so that it can be easier for you to express how you feel. Also, If she reacts agressively because of guiltyness, try to calm her down and tell her that you understand her and stuff. But if time goes on and she continues being toxic and not respect you, then it would be better to cut her off and invest your time in your other friends.
By the way, about the family part, you should hang out more with your mother and siblings!!This will bring you guys together and having a strong relationship with them will definitely bring better mental health..To sum up, I wish you and your family an amazing 2024
@@violetd333 I feel so much better now, and I'll try to talk to her TYSM for the advice♡ you r so kind
@@kyliee_22
I can relate so bad omg, just know that you’re not alone x
All the best songs in one video 🥹
Im sorry. Im sorry that i wasnt the girl that you had mom, im sorry that i wasnt giving you much attention im sorry that i never listen to what you told me to do im sos sorry i was acting this way… i never want to act like this….? I tried so hard to try and change myself. I hated how i never kept my promise with you. I hate how stupid ive been doing.. im trying my best to be the better version of myself im sorry.. mom, you know i love you and always have been you have a part of my heart. Im sorry… 8:26
I think i've hit rock bottom. i barely even go to school, in the last two months i think i've gone like ten times? I actually can't bare it any longer, i barely get out anymore and spend my days glued to a couch since i don't even have a room, this friendship-breakup has hit me so hard. i miss him so much. i told myself i would never let anyone back in to the point it hurt, but i'm doing it again, i know they are bound to leave in the next year or two, my friendships don't last, i know it's my fault, i get super depressed and stop texting because they are better off without me. and it hurts so much, i want them to never leave but i know i'm going to screw it up somehow, it'll be my fault and i'll make sure i feel how it's my fault. i geniunely don't know how these two amazing angels care so much about a screw up like me. i hate it all, god why can't they see the horrible person i am, i smoke, i drink, i self sabotage, i'm not going to get better, i know i'm not, i'm wanted to off myself since i was 9, why would it get better now. god i wish they would leave so they could have good lifes, i bring people down, i don't want to do that to them. why do they care so much, why can't they hate me. why do i miss my ex bestfriend, he never cared about me, he admitted it, he told me that he only hanged out around me because of our common friend, why was it so hard for him to care when it was like breathing to me to care for him, it was so easy to care for him, to love him, yet it was so hard for him to care about me. i really am just a sadistic, narcissit like my mom said, like my brother said. i am nothing but trouble. why do these angels sent from heaven care about me, when no one else has, why do they care, how do they even care, all my life i've been told i'm so hard to love, to care for, if not directly told it was told to me by actions, why is it so easy for them but so difficult even for my mom.
i actually don't know how im going to fix it this time. maybe i should just give up at this point. i barely eat, i barely sleep, i barely move all day, it's not like anyone will notice.
i'm here for you if you need a friend
Yesterday I was ok
pride is what’s been keeping me alive all this time. and pride will be the death of me.
Holy moly TikTok taste 🙏☝️😭💯💯💯
I genuinely feel so stuck, I can’t find a place for myself anymore and I’m behind even in the things I thought I was good at. I’ve pushed everyone away and no one is close enough anymore for me to talk, there is so much to say so I feel like I’d be venting to someone who didn’t ask for anything. Because no one can bear to hear negativity over and over again. I feel like any attempt to live like the others do or seem to do is to try to hide that I’m in fact not okay. I try to study but the reality of a meaningless future is still hovering over my dreams and hopes. Materialism doesn’t help and people… I can’t find mine, I can’t sustain it. I don’t really feel deserving of love not in a very negative way I just don’t really see why someone would love me. Love seems like the most abstract concept rn and friendship is so arduous. Idk I wish that my consciousness could vanish into the ether.