@Josiah Sepulveda on the one hand I hate that my character died One the other hand "death by sex" is how Nikki Stardust the drow bard would have wanted to go
"You have Celestial blood corseing through your veins?! How was your family so blessed?" "Sigh. My dad got drunk, polymorphed into a horse, and encountered a Unicorn."
I'd say that seducing and impregnating the demon was actually a smart idea in that specific situation. It gives her what she wants while avoiding the ususal problems associated with bargaining away your firstborn.
Too bad the DM kinda made him regret the right option. Clever as all hell, but bit asshole. Though judging by the story, was well received and made the game so much better.
Bard: "I roll to seduce the magic sentient sword." Dm: "What?" Bard: "Nat 20. 'Parry' me." Dm: "Fine. The sword leaps from BBEG's hand and penetrate's you deeply and repeatedly. 4d10 +8. Take 30 damage." Bard: "Okay you made your 'point'." Dm: "And it climaxed a bunch of caltrops like items into. 3d4 Take 6 more damage. Bard: "I'm still in 'stab-le' condition." Dm: Oh and you're pregnant with 6 magical sentient daggers. 6d4+6 take another 18 damage." Bard: "But I'm a guy." Dm: "Magic." Paladin: "What the fuck? Okay what is the BBEG doing?" Dm: "He is stuck in a state of shock, horror, and disgust. Also he is disarmed. Also also he is contemplating his life choices that lead him to this moment." BBEG: "Time out. You guys seeing this? Dude just got fucked by my sword and gave birth to a bunch of baby swords in like six seconds. Yo I'm out. Princess is in the back." Dm: " He is walking away. Do you wish to end combat?" Battered Party: "Yes!" Bard: "My 'sharp' wit gave us the 'edge'. I'll 'cut' to the chase, can someone heal me I have 1 hp." Dm: "The princess comes out of the back and kicks you in your family jewels, make your death saves."
That was my thought too. "Demon gets pregnant = all the women bound to her get pregnant too." 60 ish kids all of approximately the same age? Yeah. Yikes.
Faerie: "It is done... Your wish has been granted... I certainly hope you find it worth the cost..." Bard: "Awesome! So, when do we start?" Faerie: "Wha- I don't... I don't know what you mean?" Bard: (Stripping his cloths) "You wanted my first born child, didn't you?" Faerie: (Blushing) "Oh...."
Identi it was on facebook, I don’t remember if i saved it, even if i did, i dont recall the OP posting the link to it.... :( ill try to track the artist down though, gimme a bit :)
Safest and weirdest town. Just imagine the school chaos. Poor normal kids "Miss teacher, Erica set the table on flames again!" "I didn´t, that was Emma, learn to tell us apart" "Sven is casting Hideous Laughter on the fifth graders again!"
well one of the nobility children leads the town the half elf dragonkin are the guards the.... deamon ones are the special forces... that town grows with each offspring haveing there own and grows to conquer the land... Actualy that would be an interesting Campign that group could do go back and say its been several years and the town of the bards kids has grown to consume much of the land and you have to either defeat them all or simply join them.
Wow,this story ended on a more positive note than I expected,also that elf is gonna have one heck of a fatherhood,good luck to him Edit:Well dang didn't expect this comment to blow up,thanks for the likes,I'm very happy
Good thing he's and elf...... never mind the fact his soul is going to be trapped means he doesn't have any worry about not having enough time to spend with his many children.
Ngl I'd have done the same thing with seducing the demon. She wants a family and someone's firstborn. It's a matter of convenience to have the firstborn be her own child. Most mothers aren't gonna give up their newborn
Monster Waifu: Princess: Dragon: Bard externally: HAHAA! who's your daddy! Bard Internally: Oh my god I'm a father. I love these type of dumb stories as long as everyone is having fun.
LOL This reminds me of an idea for a campaign a friend and I came up with: An old retired Bard is kidnapped by an old "conquest;" an archdevil. His only hope for rescue is a party of adventurers who were ALL at one point or another sired by the same Bard 😂
The looks on all their faces when they are all different species and half-species...welp, at least daddy had polymorph, so they aren't all freaks, lol.
If the bard was an Elf you could even make it so that some of them are actually his grand/great grand children, so it's not so obvious if you want to keep that part of it a secret.
the hell taker would be best bros with this bard because not only do there share the same taste they know the struggle of actually having that many waifus
I know it was pretty hilarious 60 kids he's got his own freaking Army but something else that comes into play here he could probably Roll Up character sheets for each one of the kids and use them to play a different campaigns and have an interlocking backstory with them
The next whole Campaign could be around (some of) his kids... Give three "hybrids" for the Players to pick and let them roll away with it. See what happens... You've just knitted the party together at least as "cousins" so not so much of the "dark brooding loner" BS... Everyone can reasonably create a decent interlocking backstory... Obviously the GM should resist overdoing the "low hanging fruit" of constant kidnapping and tormenting the family (but it makes a decent starter)... and let the dice fly. A lot of people complain about the beginning being the hardest thing "not to cliche to death". This just wrote itself practically speaking. ;o)
a very well could work but I wouldn't consider it low-hanging fruit if they actually did it right he has 60 kids you have 60 options to mess around with male and female any class with the mutations of demon dragon a high range sorcerer
@@zanewilkins9548 In GM'ing it, I meant that kidnapping "beloved NPC's" is low hanging fruit. A cheap shot made cheaper if the GM insists on tapping a 60+ member family he insisted on the PC's by rote just for conflict. That's exactly what breeds the "dark loner trope". Otherwise it shouldn't be hard to let a "rescue mission" write itself, and just move on. 60 kids is a LOT of mouths to feed even on a successful adventurer's salary. Bonus points if you can bring in a "late starter" to take up the rescued cousin. You could even do it with Players swapping in and out and changing Parties. A sort of "come as you can" operation to help resolve pesky schedule conflicts with larger groups of Players. It CAN definitely be done well. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 what I'm talking about is not kidnapping any NPC but using that as a launching point for his campaign and using the 60 kids for future campaign and when you go to roll up the character sheets for the next players have the characters be one of is 60 kids where his kids Dragon Blood demon blood Borat sorcerer princess in it roll the dice to see which one they get when I roll up the character as one of his 60 kids I think it'd be an interesting campaign and is her lot of stuff that you could do with it but basically it's a future campaign where you're playing as one of his children is really open for interpretation and it's not low-hanging fruit it's actually very interesting and and it doesn't involve kidnapping so there's no low-hanging fruit to be had it would just literally be a fun campaign
all I heard is a win-win-win-win situation. hear Me out on this. he literally has 3 of the most powerful wives in every sense of the words. one who is immortal, one whose life is about 500 years and one of the most powerful beings alive who is unbelievably rich and powerful being a princess and by the way, this would make them all queens and a king and all of them can literally become immortal by taking all of the spells and spending a week to a year literally depending on the pells and make him immortal as well and he has an armor of kids who by the way they all can make them also immortal. one, have one of them go into Druid I would go with the princess and have her focus on timeless body to find a way to have them live a lot longer two, have one them become like a Necromancer but not fully and demon wife can do that by having her forces on healing and stuff like Reincarnate and spare the dying and clones and so on, and have the last one become like an Ancients paladin and the dragon wife can do this because her can use her family and her 2 wives and husband as her oath and she can make them all immune to everything. if I did the math right on average they will live between 3,000 to 5,000 years before needing to use even a clone
😂😂😂ok this one is actually pretty funny since it shows what the seducing bard role actually has to face....and don't act like we didn't know that evry bard with a seducing build has at least 60 children somewhere in the world. Even if you don't specify the details......we all know where this will end....after all the stereotype doasn't exists for no reason and this bard at least knows of them has three loving wifes and has to take responsabilyties for his actions. In my opinion this is actually a good outcome and we should be proud of him....and more disgusted by the probably 1000 if not more bards who do the same only with far more partners and do not take any responsability what so ever.
I know that one of the running jokes/campaign ideas is a band of half siblings are looking for their bard father and walk into a tavern, while their father stealthily walks out.
@@funnyblog100 magic makes it hard to make those permanent though unless a bard sleeps with something of the nurgle varity that will probably give you a uncurable magic disease
The bard teaches all his sons and daughters his simplord abilities, so all of them can have as many kids as he has, and the family can become an empire
This seems to just be a practical joke. DM had his fun, got the party to go along with it, and ended it when it ran it’s course. Nothing too gross in the grand scheme of things.
Ooooh yeah! Well theres always the *yirbel* kind of bard (she does *live* ) and THIS kind. Reminds me about how the bard in our party had formed a weird chaotic sex cult before I showed up. And how we got a second bard but the first session they showed up in he played so good that he got an ego driven boner and passed out. Since his player never returned he never woke up! Edit: *this son of a bitch*
I'll never quite understand the Bard stereotype about being a pervert. My Bard (and first character) was an immortal (age-wise only) 3,799 year-old 145cm "tall" Half-Elf who had a 16 INT, spoke eloquently, persuaded people using logic, had proficiency in 75% of the skills (plus half proficiency in the rest), knew like 10 languages, was a pacifist, and (the kicker) was asexual. In combat, he mainly used illusions to befuddle his enemies and stuck to healing wounds otherwise. The party had a running joke where they wanted to find him a halfling or gnome girlfriend due to his height. He always seemed confused when the players suggested seducing an NPC since he didn't understand the concept. It was a fun time; I quite liked the character.
One of my bards (Corvum) is an ancient scholar who uses his CHA and forging skills to make a decent living at selling forged documents, who at most jokes about taking people out to dates (with a sort of grandfatherly charm). My other bard (Tiefling) is a hedonistic shitstirrer, mostly to rebell against her family, but even she doesnt seduce people (I mean I´m ace, I wouldnt even know how to do that). She flirts and tries to actively seem like the bard clichee, but she isnt the bard clichee. My other other bard (Firbolg) is a young wholesome chill hippie who just loves beauty and bedazzles himself with various pretty stuff (feathers, but also expensive stuff) and gets wide-eyed at gorgeous people, but he also wouldnt willy-nilly seduce people (why do that when he instead could just stare at their beauty or draw them). He might get into a romance with our goliath bardbarian tho :-D Break the clichee, guys! (Also yes, my favourite class, why would you ask? XD)
Wh173c0c0 Mostly because what you described sounds lees like a Bard in terms of the more jovial and socially active yet distant at the same time that I’d usually associate with someone who actively travels and tries to get a crowd to listen to his performance and more like an anti-social inventor/prodigy that didn’t really get the need of interactions or social norms and just wished to simply perfect their craft. Also probably has to do with the fact when people read the original manuals and saw the traits best suited to the class and the class abilities as well as seeing the provided baseline concept for the Bard they probably got more of what the other guy commented. A rockstar/car salesmen type personality that used charm and guile to get what they want.
Honestly ,I suspect it's mostly just cause it's fun and find players love to cause chaos XD (or at least the people I play with like to cause chaos). Like how ridiculous is it that your tiny human (whatever raced) bard can seduce the dragon and then loot it's gold and still have a chance to come out clean. Or stories like this where the stereotype creates a sensible yet ridiculous situation. When in doubt may as well try it and see if dumb luck will let you get far enough
Well, I'm playing a seducer bard (with multiclass in fighter) in a DnD campaign right now, and I really enjoying it. The point is that this character is much more than seducer - in fact his personality described more by searching social and inner freedom and fame. He is mercenary, adventurer, the guy who lies his ass out of anything, musician, who plays metal, forger, who impersonates himself sometimes as kings royal guardian, sometimes as foreign prince (he doesn't know any foreign language and in fact can't even read, but can perfectly forge accents and pseudo-foreign languages) and etc. - so in fact he was just a poor guy from the capital in quite an unfriendly world, who tries to move to the top of the society. And he also loves to seduce, but in realistic way: he falls after attractive women, but doesn't try to seduce grass, dragons or sentinent swords. Once I decided to seduce young nun, and I had to roleplay all flirting instead of just rolling the dice - so far the most difficult seducing I have to do. Succesfull seducing.
My heart just jumped when you said that. The Wheel of Time is, by far, my favorite fantasy series. Beats out LOTR, Dark Tower, Journey to the West, Wrinkle in Time, His Dark Materials, Shannara... I was literally crying and cheering through the last book. No medium, be it movie, music or books, has made elicited as much emotion as that series. It is on a level of it's own. Stick with it. There are a lot of politics in the middle few books, but it picks up again and A Memory of Light will knock you the fuck out.
@@jimbeam7636 Nope! I actually don't read that much, despite reading... uh.. literally thousands of pages of fantasy... uh... maybe more than average? I will have to check it out. Ever heard of the Xanth series? Fucking great. I'd put it at #2. First book: A Spell for Chameleon
On one hand punishing a troll player, on the other targeting a player. I'm glad this experience turned out well though I do wonder what color the dragon was
DM: Welcome to Firtility Town, you must find the bard who owns this lovely town, what do you do? Player: i ask one of the kids playing in the town square... DM: All right... Player: Hey there little girl do you know where i can find Mr. Bard? NPC: og you mean my father? Player Yes, where is he? NPC:oh, well i'm not sure where he is, you'll have to ask thing 1 to find out. Player : who is thing 1? NPC: oh that's my big sis. Player :... why is her name thing 1? NPC: oh that's because she is the first child out of 60+ kids :) player: ... *looks at the DM* and what's your name? NPC: my name/number is thing 54 :) Player: (sighs) and where is thing 1? NPC: in that giant crowd over there:) Player: (mind) F**** they all look the same! DM: so, what will you do now? Player: I walk away, i Am Not doing this ... DM:ok, you leave the village and become a nomad of the lad living a pretty normal life and you settle down and start a lovely family, and die peacefully in the end... Till next we meet... Player: ok- DM: i the village of Fertility :) Player: WHAT?!
I remember being next to a table like this; but instead of a bard... it was the monk who had a low int and high cha thinking his vow of celibacy was the go ahead to screw anything that wants to.
swapertxking Ah, though I have to ask, what actually is the difference between INT and WIS? Played DnD only a handful fo times with friends in high school and just went with what they suggested for standard mage and didn’t really bother ask for the low down on it cause I figured I could learn while playing as one of them wanted to practice DMing two different campaigns at once with both me and the other friend starting from 2 different areas. Is it like, the amount of stuff you know compared to just being able to figure stuff out?
@@RavenCloak13 umm best way I understood it is how do you balance 6 nails on a board with only one touching the board. INT is expertly balancing them in unique positions, WIS is bundling them and then balancing them as a unit. basically INT is a smart smolution, WIS is a clever solution.
swapertxking Ah! Okay! Ih, and my main reason why I said the INT thing is I figured like actual Monks wouldn’t take in very stupid people liable to blow shit up or just not get the whole monk life style.
@@stanleyschlosser7495 You confuse yourself... I'm a SADIST. Dead people don't feel anything, and they don't writhe around on the ground and scream so delightfully as the living. My intentions are NEVER to kill... and no killing, means no murder. You'll have your own sentence for wasting the Court's time, the Magistrate's time, and by the gods I'll see to it you've wasted the Lordship's time!!! Call the Guards again! I dare ye'... I have plenty of screws! ...AND likely, you'll land ME a job for his Lordship as a keeper of his dungeon, menacer of prisoners, and possibly (oh please call them hither faster) head inquisitor! My lust for the outcries of others has no limits. ;o)
god this reminds me of a session few days back our rouge did an acrobatics check with DISadv and he stuck the landing dirty 20 DM have him roll a charisma check NAT20 and before we knew it our rouge dwarf was getting carried off by 5 women to a private room bout 12hours passed in game and the DM goes congratulations you're the father of 5; party went silent not sure to either cheer or berate our rouge
The DM reminds me of a fellow player in the campaign I'm in. Since her character and mine have a close sisterly relationship, she would try and get my half elf shipped with a variety of guys. Other half elves, elf nobles, and even dragons cause she is a descendant of dragons. Currently, the player has found 7 elf carpenters and the head of a noble house.
This Bard went from being a 1 note love machine to being the embodiment of the song "I Loved 'em, Every One" 🎵 _I've known some painted ladies that sparkled in the light_ _Country girls that loved the lovers moon_ _Some I never really knew,_ _Though I always wanted to_ _Some I only met once in a room_ _Some said they liked my smile,_ _Others of 'em stayed a while_ _While others left me on the run_ _This is the only way,_ _Only way I have to say_ _I loved 'em every one_ _Big, little or short or tall,_ _Wish I could've kept them all_ _I loved 'em every one_ _Like to thank 'em for their charms,_ _Holdin' me in their arms_ _And I hope they had some fun_ 🎵
we literally have a campaign where everyone made half elves..so the joke is they ALL have the same elf bard father XD every person in the campaign is a half sibling XD
I can actually appreciate how well the DM went along with this whole thing, and that's an amazing party to keep that whole track going. Pretty hilarious use of a bard, especially how things ended XD
I would say the that they are the corrupted nonsensical current version of the bard since this wasn't what they originally were. Originally, you could charm someone, but charming someone isn't the same as seducing someone by any stretch of the imagination.
We had a "paladin" per say who decided to mess with Aphrodite, and he ended up having I think like 87 kids in one go (no idea how or why) and they ended up having a village of dragonborn. Well later on, something killed all/most of his kids (I think 1 lived maybe? Idk it's dead now). So obviously grieved, he goes to the village to see what happened. Well what we forgot/he forgot was that there was a thing he had called "blood rage", which basically caused him to go crazy. Welp, he ate them. All the corpses. (And I just remembered now that one did survive, but he killed them with a slap by accident). In TLDR fashion, "paladin" messes with Aphrodite, has enough kids to populate a village, they all die, blood rage, he eats all the corpses.
It must be so awkward to play at this table. I was at a Call of Cthulhu game where an male NPC kept hitting on my female character for the first two sessions... At the end of session 2, my character just said she was a lesbian in love with another female PC and not interested. Then in session 3, the keeper keeps trying to force a romance between my character and the female PC. I just want to investigate supernatural crime, not romance. Also I'm gonna start playing a male Tabaxi bard for the next 6 weeks of D&D adventure. Let's hope I will be asexual...
Be wholesome bard. Your schtick is camping out on top of the lord's keep, and singing your heart out, for the purposes of denying said lord of sleep because they are an authoritarian goof and you hate their stupid laws. Increase shenanigans by getting as many evasion spells as possible, including invisibility, teleport, and some illusions. Anger said lord to the point of sending bounty hunters after you, lol.
It's crazy hilarious stories like these that make me wanna play D&D, sadly I don't have any friends to play it with... Nor do I know how to play it. The books are insanely expensive too... *sigh* All I have are a few of the older books, but trying to read and study the whole book just to play the game is... ugh, so much work.
Weirdly, I could see the "Bard romancing a vengeful demon bride" thing being a nice romance story in a sorta Dark Fantasy story. Picture this: A Bard seduces the demon into becoming a bride, and having sweet moments (dates, songs, dancing, etc.) in between harsh missions. Then, after seeing his friends die and wishing to be with his woman in the afterlife, he sets off on his own adventure to get his Demon to become an Angel after this story was finished. Cut to years later, finding him to have some new class to match his Nomadic fate (personally, I'd choose Duelist for flair but that's just me), with the wife as his shadow the whole time; keeping him sane and trying to turn him away from this self-imposed mission in an attempt to save his withering physical state. And every time she'd do this, he'd smile that kind smile that she fell for, and put on a cheerful act to disguise his struggle. She wouldn't buy it, obviously, but it'd make of a very sweet character dynamic.
As a massive Robert Jordan fan, and having invested the better part of 2 decades waiting for/reading the entire Wheel of Time series, the amount of joy I experienced when I heard you say Audible has the audiobooks available for my favorite series of all time; it is beyond measure! I go now to subscribe! *speeds off leaving dust outline*
So back in the day I made a Half Dragon Sorcerer in a norse setting, he was a grandchild of Nidhogg, and one detail I work shopped with the DM, is that dragons are supernaturally effective in the baby making department, not necessarily in the making it pleasurable because dragons don't do sex for pleasure they just have a matting season, they just have a near 100% chance of producing children when they get around to it, and this trait was inherited by my character, that combine with the fact he was supernaturally charismatic, and the rest of his stats combine to make decent looking, and factor in an early sexual awakening, and he got "the talk" from his adoptive parents pretty late, meant that before he knew what marriage was he had a litter of 30 something children, with 18 women Before the he joined the campaign
Amazing how a GM's idea "just to screw with a PC" can suddenly spawn inspiration to something a whole lot better than two weeks of sweating over prep' and trying to do something "just cool enough" without burning out. ;o)
I think it was donkey from Shrek who flirted with the dragon that started the influence of, the whole bard who tried to seduce the dragon, also this remains of Fredrick Anderson bard tail.
That book from the promo is pretty darn good for those who don't know! And it's just the second (counting the prequel but not the interquel) of a 15-book series, with even the shortest having a decent length! And Audible has ALL OF THEM.
The wheel of time is FANTASTIC. I honestly might prefer it over tolkiens work. And the audiobooks are great as well. Especially the narrator who handles the female characters. Her voice is so soothing
Me: so DM how's my bard doing?
DM: you died of every STD in the world
@Josiah Sepulveda no, this is what happens when you have to miss three sessions in a row
@Josiah Sepulveda on the one hand I hate that my character died
One the other hand "death by sex" is how Nikki Stardust the drow bard would have wanted to go
This is why bards can learn cleric's spells.
Me: Great...does that mean I'm the God of Seduction now?
DM: ...sigh...yes.
Me: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You filthy....
casual!
A TRUE bard would die of every STD in the world AND at least 70 extraplanar ones
A dragon, a demon, and a princess are all walked into by a bard...
Multiple times. Each.
...and he said, "How you doin'?"
😂
AND the GM goes to a porn' store for "research and preparatory vocabulary material". ;o)
Gonna be honest not surprised
Ladies and gentlemen...the origin of tieflings and dragon sorcerers.
Definitely need this as some sort of background plot for a campaign
no seriously
think about it
@@CLPS-yt4zg "So how did you get your sorcerer powers?"
"...I'd rather not go into that."
@@patrickedger2448 "My Grandpa was a Bard."
"Say no more."
@@patrickedger2448 The daddy issues!
"You have Celestial blood corseing through your veins?! How was your family so blessed?"
"Sigh. My dad got drunk, polymorphed into a horse, and encountered a Unicorn."
I'd say that seducing and impregnating the demon was actually a smart idea in that specific situation. It gives her what she wants while avoiding the ususal problems associated with bargaining away your firstborn.
Only because its also her firstborn
@@jacobweatherford4696 Exactly, that the point!
@@friendcomputer5276 still a very smart strategy
Too bad the DM kinda made him regret the right option. Clever as all hell, but bit asshole. Though judging by the story, was well received and made the game so much better.
Perhaps, but sounds like the player had a few problems before this about that
Honestly, not a bad way to play a comedic character. I liked this Bard's story and change.
Bard: "I roll to seduce the magic sentient sword."
Dm: "What?"
Bard: "Nat 20. 'Parry' me."
Dm: "Fine. The sword leaps from BBEG's hand and penetrate's you deeply and repeatedly. 4d10 +8. Take 30 damage."
Bard: "Okay you made your 'point'."
Dm: "And it climaxed a bunch of caltrops like items into. 3d4 Take 6 more damage.
Bard: "I'm still in 'stab-le' condition."
Dm: Oh and you're pregnant with 6 magical sentient daggers. 6d4+6 take another 18 damage."
Bard: "But I'm a guy."
Dm: "Magic."
Paladin: "What the fuck? Okay what is the BBEG doing?"
Dm: "He is stuck in a state of shock, horror, and disgust. Also he is disarmed. Also also he is contemplating his life choices that lead him to this moment."
BBEG: "Time out. You guys seeing this? Dude just got fucked by my sword and gave birth to a bunch of baby swords in like six seconds. Yo I'm out. Princess is in the back."
Dm: " He is walking away. Do you wish to end combat?"
Battered Party: "Yes!"
Bard: "My 'sharp' wit gave us the 'edge'. I'll 'cut' to the chase, can someone heal me I have 1 hp."
Dm: "The princess comes out of the back and kicks you in your family jewels, make your death saves."
Ahahahaha
Aaand there we have it, the best comment I've read in probably about 3 months.
Bravo.
Wow..
That ending made the story worth reading
Not gonna lie, this was a rather humorous story to listen and I can't hate on the bard. Very very nice of him to stay in character.
For a moment I thought that given that the demon bride was somehow linked to other women in the village, the Bard impregnated them as well.
Something like that came to mind before I listened to this.
That was my thought too. "Demon gets pregnant = all the women bound to her get pregnant too." 60 ish kids all of approximately the same age? Yeah. Yikes.
@@mitchellbonds766 as another comment said
this could be a possible orgin for tiefling kind
drive.google.com/file/d/1A7cWC9Axu5MhPARkAFCTfvEuH_aWZJ8J/view
I thought the same thing
"We don't usually do sexual things but, since it was to punish the bard, everyone was cool with it."
Honestly...mood.
Sexual punishment? If that's what your into I guess...
@@drcalcium9232 What a cocktease :p
Faerie: "It is done... Your wish has been granted... I certainly hope you find it worth the cost..."
Bard: "Awesome! So, when do we start?"
Faerie: "Wha- I don't... I don't know what you mean?"
Bard: (Stripping his cloths) "You wanted my first born child, didn't you?"
Faerie: (Blushing) "Oh...."
I ask myself everyday "*why*" and I go "because its dumb"
Saw a meme like this before. One of my favorites
I saw that comic! It was silly and the artwork was tasteful ^^
@@Squiggy8440 sorry but mind putting a link down here, I kinda wanna see the comic
Identi it was on facebook, I don’t remember if i saved it, even if i did, i dont recall the OP posting the link to it.... :( ill try to track the artist down though, gimme a bit :)
“I roll for impregnating” - One of All things DnD’s friend 2020
man I'ma end up making Goku in DND
Well it makes more sense than roll for seduction.
Imagine the town, full of your offspring that's half-elf, half-dragonkin, half ghost-demon-scorpion whatever and half-nobility
Safest and weirdest town.
Just imagine the school chaos. Poor normal kids
"Miss teacher, Erica set the table on flames again!"
"I didn´t, that was Emma, learn to tell us apart"
"Sven is casting Hideous Laughter on the fifth graders again!"
@@lagggoat7170 imaging trying to find a nanny for those kids 😂
Half Dragon: drive.google.com/file/d/1A7cWC9Axu5MhPARkAFCTfvEuH_aWZJ8J/view :)
well one of the nobility children leads the town the half elf dragonkin are the guards the.... deamon ones are the special forces... that town grows with each offspring haveing there own and grows to conquer the land... Actualy that would be an interesting Campign that group could do go back and say its been several years and the town of the bards kids has grown to consume much of the land and you have to either defeat them all or simply join them.
@@lagggoat7170
Ok, that broke me.
Wow,this story ended on a more positive note than I expected,also that elf is gonna have one heck of a fatherhood,good luck to him
Edit:Well dang didn't expect this comment to blow up,thanks for the likes,I'm very happy
Omg ikr
Good thing he's and elf...... never mind the fact his soul is going to be trapped means he doesn't have any worry about not having enough time to spend with his many children.
@@bethanysmith5856 "Dad, can you help me with this?"
You're 456, you don't need my help to put furniture together anymore!"
His bloodline certainly won't die, that's for dang sure. 😂😂😂
@@Cronomancer indeed he became the Ghengis Khan of DnD lol
Ngl I'd have done the same thing with seducing the demon. She wants a family and someone's firstborn. It's a matter of convenience to have the firstborn be her own child. Most mothers aren't gonna give up their newborn
Monster Waifu:
Princess:
Dragon:
Bard externally: HAHAA! who's your daddy!
Bard Internally: Oh my god I'm a father.
I love these type of dumb stories as long as everyone is having fun.
drive.google.com/file/d/1A7cWC9Axu5MhPARkAFCTfvEuH_aWZJ8J/view
this is some ecchi fantsey anime stuff loooool
@@cleareyezgamerfreak2706 since waifu was used
I can see why
I've never thought I would hear the frase "I roll for impregnation" until this very moment... Well played internet, well played.
LOL
This reminds me of an idea for a campaign a friend and I came up with: An old retired Bard is kidnapped by an old "conquest;" an archdevil. His only hope for rescue is a party of adventurers who were ALL at one point or another sired by the same Bard 😂
The looks on all their faces when they are all different species and half-species...welp, at least daddy had polymorph, so they aren't all freaks, lol.
It’s like the high fantasy version of The Ridiculous 6! I love it!
@@MrMaradok EXACTLY!!
If the bard was an Elf you could even make it so that some of them are actually his grand/great grand children, so it's not so obvious if you want to keep that part of it a secret.
@@Gmod-ki4mw Good idea!
Hilarious. Bard’s all “I want waifus.” DM” are you sure?” Bard” Waifu me up brother!” DM”Oh you’ll get waifus. You’ll get waifu’s indeed. Muhahahaha!”
the hell taker would be best bros with this bard
because not only do there share the same taste they know the struggle of actually having that many waifus
DM gave the man what he wanted. It'd be less interesting if they were all human commoners.
gm: Roll for Waifu.
Bard: Nat 20.
gm: Roll to confirm.
Bard: Nat 1.
gm: Congrats on marrying a yandere.
Lothmar22 That seem fair
I'd be okay with that
If you weren’t a bard you could be alright
@@feeshofyeet5011 *Bardbarians*
I see this as an absolute win
Wait
What would happen if just
Someone started trying to date one of the daughters, or sons....
That would be one heck of a family reunion and meeting
Imagine what the bard’s parents are thinking
@@snarfymcsnarfface2323 well they have plenty of grandkids and ties to royalty now
I imagine dinner with the family would be awkward
The wedding would be worse.
OH GOD
I know it was pretty hilarious 60 kids he's got his own freaking Army but something else that comes into play here he could probably Roll Up character sheets for each one of the kids and use them to play a different campaigns and have an interlocking backstory with them
Here is an idea have them all be Bards and continue the family tradition.
The next whole Campaign could be around (some of) his kids... Give three "hybrids" for the Players to pick and let them roll away with it. See what happens... You've just knitted the party together at least as "cousins" so not so much of the "dark brooding loner" BS... Everyone can reasonably create a decent interlocking backstory... Obviously the GM should resist overdoing the "low hanging fruit" of constant kidnapping and tormenting the family (but it makes a decent starter)... and let the dice fly.
A lot of people complain about the beginning being the hardest thing "not to cliche to death". This just wrote itself practically speaking. ;o)
a very well could work but I wouldn't consider it low-hanging fruit if they actually did it right he has 60 kids you have 60 options to mess around with male and female any class with the mutations of demon dragon a high range sorcerer
@@zanewilkins9548 In GM'ing it, I meant that kidnapping "beloved NPC's" is low hanging fruit. A cheap shot made cheaper if the GM insists on tapping a 60+ member family he insisted on the PC's by rote just for conflict.
That's exactly what breeds the "dark loner trope".
Otherwise it shouldn't be hard to let a "rescue mission" write itself, and just move on. 60 kids is a LOT of mouths to feed even on a successful adventurer's salary.
Bonus points if you can bring in a "late starter" to take up the rescued cousin.
You could even do it with Players swapping in and out and changing Parties. A sort of "come as you can" operation to help resolve pesky schedule conflicts with larger groups of Players.
It CAN definitely be done well. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 what I'm talking about is not kidnapping any NPC but using that as a launching point for his campaign and using the 60 kids for future campaign and when you go to roll up the character sheets for the next players have the characters be one of is 60 kids where his kids Dragon Blood demon blood Borat sorcerer princess in it roll the dice to see which one they get when I roll up the character as one of his 60 kids I think it'd be an interesting campaign and is her lot of stuff that you could do with it but basically it's a future campaign where you're playing as one of his children is really open for interpretation and it's not low-hanging fruit it's actually very interesting and and it doesn't involve kidnapping so there's no low-hanging fruit to be had it would just literally be a fun campaign
so basically this bard is like the DnD version in captain Jack Harkness and Glenn Quagmire into one.🤣
Less Quagmire and more Deadpool and Jake. They will seduce everything that movies and most thing that don't.
Like a non sterile geralt of rivia.
all I heard is a win-win-win-win situation. hear Me out on this. he literally has 3 of the most powerful wives in every sense of the words.
one who is immortal, one whose life is about 500 years and one of the most powerful beings alive who is unbelievably rich and powerful being a princess
and by the way, this would make them all queens and a king and all of them can literally become immortal by taking all of the spells and spending a week to a year literally depending on the pells and make him immortal as well and he has an armor of kids who by the way they all can make them also immortal.
one, have one of them go into Druid I would go with the princess and have her focus on timeless body to find a way to have them live a lot longer
two, have one them become like a Necromancer but not fully and demon wife can do that by having her forces on healing and stuff like Reincarnate and spare the dying and clones and so on,
and have the last one become like an Ancients paladin and the dragon wife can do this because her can use her family and her 2 wives and husband as her oath and she can make them all immune to everything.
if I did the math right on average they will live between 3,000 to 5,000 years before needing to use even a clone
Don't forget that they're willing to share.
😂😂😂ok this one is actually pretty funny since it shows what the seducing bard role actually has to face....and don't act like we didn't know that evry bard with a seducing build has at least 60 children somewhere in the world. Even if you don't specify the details......we all know where this will end....after all the stereotype doasn't exists for no reason and this bard at least knows of them has three loving wifes and has to take responsabilyties for his actions. In my opinion this is actually a good outcome and we should be proud of him....and more disgusted by the probably 1000 if not more bards who do the same only with far more partners and do not take any responsability what so ever.
I know that one of the running jokes/campaign ideas is a band of half siblings are looking for their bard father and walk into a tavern, while their father stealthily walks out.
I would make a d100 STD table for that.
@@funnyblog100 magic makes it hard to make those permanent though unless a bard sleeps with something of the nurgle varity that will probably give you a uncurable magic disease
Just before lockdown, I rolled up a half-elf whose mother was an ogress seduced by an aging moon elf bard. His height comes from his mother.
Shouldn't he be a half-ogre/orc?
@@afonsothadeusaviolomedinat8809 I don't think he can be both.
Let me rephrase that: he would be half-ogre but his racial probable would be of a elf-orc and probable be identified as one by last people
Johnny Bravo as a polyamorous husband and hard-working patriarch
This is what Johnny Bravo wished he was.
I just want him to walk into a village and yell “Poppas home!”
The bard teaches all his sons and daughters his simplord abilities, so all of them can have as many kids as he has, and the family can become an empire
This seems to just be a practical joke. DM had his fun, got the party to go along with it, and ended it when it ran it’s course. Nothing too gross in the grand scheme of things.
Ooooh yeah! Well theres always the *yirbel* kind of bard (she does *live* ) and THIS kind. Reminds me about how the bard in our party had formed a weird chaotic sex cult before I showed up. And how we got a second bard but the first session they showed up in he played so good that he got an ego driven boner and passed out. Since his player never returned he never woke up!
Edit: *this son of a bitch*
Bards: The reason Tieflings, Draconians and every other hybrid exist..
I'll never quite understand the Bard stereotype about being a pervert. My Bard (and first character) was an immortal (age-wise only) 3,799 year-old 145cm "tall" Half-Elf who had a 16 INT, spoke eloquently, persuaded people using logic, had proficiency in 75% of the skills (plus half proficiency in the rest), knew like 10 languages, was a pacifist, and (the kicker) was asexual. In combat, he mainly used illusions to befuddle his enemies and stuck to healing wounds otherwise. The party had a running joke where they wanted to find him a halfling or gnome girlfriend due to his height. He always seemed confused when the players suggested seducing an NPC since he didn't understand the concept. It was a fun time; I quite liked the character.
One of my bards (Corvum) is an ancient scholar who uses his CHA and forging skills to make a decent living at selling forged documents, who at most jokes about taking people out to dates (with a sort of grandfatherly charm).
My other bard (Tiefling) is a hedonistic shitstirrer, mostly to rebell against her family, but even she doesnt seduce people (I mean I´m ace, I wouldnt even know how to do that). She flirts and tries to actively seem like the bard clichee, but she isnt the bard clichee.
My other other bard (Firbolg) is a young wholesome chill hippie who just loves beauty and bedazzles himself with various pretty stuff (feathers, but also expensive stuff) and gets wide-eyed at gorgeous people, but he also wouldnt willy-nilly seduce people (why do that when he instead could just stare at their beauty or draw them). He might get into a romance with our goliath bardbarian tho :-D
Break the clichee, guys!
(Also yes, my favourite class, why would you ask? XD)
The thing is most bards are played like rock stars and we all know the old saying, “Drugs sex and rock and roll”
Wh173c0c0
Mostly because what you described sounds lees like a Bard in terms of the more jovial and socially active yet distant at the same time that I’d usually associate with someone who actively travels and tries to get a crowd to listen to his performance and more like an anti-social inventor/prodigy that didn’t really get the need of interactions or social norms and just wished to simply perfect their craft.
Also probably has to do with the fact when people read the original manuals and saw the traits best suited to the class and the class abilities as well as seeing the provided baseline concept for the Bard they probably got more of what the other guy commented. A rockstar/car salesmen type personality that used charm and guile to get what they want.
Honestly ,I suspect it's mostly just cause it's fun and find players love to cause chaos XD (or at least the people I play with like to cause chaos). Like how ridiculous is it that your tiny human (whatever raced) bard can seduce the dragon and then loot it's gold and still have a chance to come out clean. Or stories like this where the stereotype creates a sensible yet ridiculous situation. When in doubt may as well try it and see if dumb luck will let you get far enough
Well, I'm playing a seducer bard (with multiclass in fighter) in a DnD campaign right now, and I really enjoying it. The point is that this character is much more than seducer - in fact his personality described more by searching social and inner freedom and fame. He is mercenary, adventurer, the guy who lies his ass out of anything, musician, who plays metal, forger, who impersonates himself sometimes as kings royal guardian, sometimes as foreign prince (he doesn't know any foreign language and in fact can't even read, but can perfectly forge accents and pseudo-foreign languages) and etc. - so in fact he was just a poor guy from the capital in quite an unfriendly world, who tries to move to the top of the society. And he also loves to seduce, but in realistic way: he falls after attractive women, but doesn't try to seduce grass, dragons or sentinent swords. Once I decided to seduce young nun, and I had to roleplay all flirting instead of just rolling the dice - so far the most difficult seducing I have to do. Succesfull seducing.
"I roll for impregnation"
- Bard, Moment (Every)
Me, a Druid: I like these animals
The Bard: What if I was your animal?~
Me: ...
My heart just jumped when you said that. The Wheel of Time is, by far, my favorite fantasy series. Beats out LOTR, Dark Tower, Journey to the West, Wrinkle in Time, His Dark Materials, Shannara... I was literally crying and cheering through the last book. No medium, be it movie, music or books, has made elicited as much emotion as that series. It is on a level of it's own.
Stick with it. There are a lot of politics in the middle few books, but it picks up again and A Memory of Light will knock you the fuck out.
What about R. A. Salvatore's Drizzt series?
At last, I find a kindred soul! How many years have I searched!
@@delmenze9105 lol. Join the facebook group if you use fb. Lotta kindred souls on there :) Also there is a WOT subreddit.
@@jimbeam7636 Nope! I actually don't read that much, despite reading... uh.. literally thousands of pages of fantasy... uh... maybe more than average?
I will have to check it out. Ever heard of the Xanth series? Fucking great. I'd put it at #2. First book: A Spell for Chameleon
@@sse2479 my guy you are in for a treat. Look up Homeland. That's the first book in a 40-50 book series.
On one hand punishing a troll player, on the other targeting a player. I'm glad this experience turned out well though I do wonder what color the dragon was
My paladin can seduce goats and princesses, but real me can’t even be friends with a girl
Your pfp is very fitting since you have a paladin.
@@DragonGunzDorian perhaps he should be a wizard instead
@Aaron Montgomery why?
Ask her out. Get friendzoned. There you go, you now have a friend... or a gf if they say yes.
So did this bard manage to seduce you? 😂😂
All Things DnD for me he rolled Nat 1
No
Nope
Yes. This was awesome.
Here's the thing: Since the player likes making "Troll" PC's, this was OK. If he didn't, then this would've been wrong. Great story regardless...
DM: Welcome to Firtility Town, you must find the bard who owns this lovely town, what do you do?
Player: i ask one of the kids playing in the town square...
DM: All right...
Player: Hey there little girl do you know where i can find Mr. Bard?
NPC: og you mean my father?
Player Yes, where is he?
NPC:oh, well i'm not sure where he is, you'll have to ask thing 1 to find out.
Player : who is thing 1?
NPC: oh that's my big sis.
Player :... why is her name thing 1?
NPC: oh that's because she is the first child out of 60+ kids :)
player: ... *looks at the DM* and what's your name?
NPC: my name/number is thing 54 :)
Player: (sighs) and where is thing 1?
NPC: in that giant crowd over there:)
Player: (mind) F**** they all look the same!
DM: so, what will you do now?
Player: I walk away, i Am Not doing this ...
DM:ok, you leave the village and become a nomad of the lad living a pretty normal life and you settle down and start a lovely family, and die peacefully in the end... Till next we meet...
Player: ok-
DM: i the village of Fertility :)
Player: WHAT?!
I remember being next to a table like this; but instead of a bard... it was the monk who had a low int and high cha thinking his vow of celibacy was the go ahead to screw anything that wants to.
swapertxking
...how did he even become a Monk with an INT stat that low? Cause of the high CHA?
@@RavenCloak13 I mean int isn't the stat for monks, its wis, so that's why if you're asking.
swapertxking
Ah, though I have to ask, what actually is the difference between INT and WIS? Played DnD only a handful fo times with friends in high school and just went with what they suggested for standard mage and didn’t really bother ask for the low down on it cause I figured I could learn while playing as one of them wanted to practice DMing two different campaigns at once with both me and the other friend starting from 2 different areas.
Is it like, the amount of stuff you know compared to just being able to figure stuff out?
@@RavenCloak13 umm best way I understood it is how do you balance 6 nails on a board with only one touching the board. INT is expertly balancing them in unique positions, WIS is bundling them and then balancing them as a unit. basically INT is a smart smolution, WIS is a clever solution.
swapertxking
Ah! Okay!
Ih, and my main reason why I said the INT thing is I figured like actual Monks wouldn’t take in very stupid people liable to blow shit up or just not get the whole monk life style.
The title already has me wanting at least 4 parts to it lol
Fathers a village... fathers a country... fathers the earth... fathers the universe, I really don't think I still want to stop
@@allthingsdnd Well I think that the kids should be Bards as well continue on the family tradition.
"I changed it to this instead just to screw with the bard."
... Obviously. ;)
Anything to screw with the Bard is a good decision. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 but if you screw with the bard you also preg
@@stanleyschlosser7495 Not if it's with a screwdriver... I might occasionally dabble in sadism. ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 GAURD pay the court a fine or sit your sentensce MURDER MUREDER
@@stanleyschlosser7495 You confuse yourself... I'm a SADIST. Dead people don't feel anything, and they don't writhe around on the ground and scream so delightfully as the living. My intentions are NEVER to kill... and no killing, means no murder.
You'll have your own sentence for wasting the Court's time, the Magistrate's time, and by the gods I'll see to it you've wasted the Lordship's time!!!
Call the Guards again! I dare ye'... I have plenty of screws!
...AND likely, you'll land ME a job for his Lordship as a keeper of his dungeon, menacer of prisoners, and possibly (oh please call them hither faster) head inquisitor! My lust for the outcries of others has no limits. ;o)
Man's gonna have the best father's day ever yet he'll be in a nightmare when trying to remember all their names and birthdays
My character, seeing the bard who seduced a princess, a dragon and a demon at the same time: My Man!
god this reminds me of a session few days back our rouge did an acrobatics check with DISadv and he stuck the landing dirty 20 DM have him roll a charisma check NAT20 and before we knew it our rouge dwarf was getting carried off by 5 women to a private room
bout 12hours passed in game and the DM goes congratulations you're the father of 5; party went silent not sure to either cheer or berate our rouge
Female Demon: I want your first born
Bard: alright, when do we begin?
FD: what
Bard: you wanted my first born....soooooooo
FD: ah....😦
63 kids So basically the aftermath of every Htai protagonist ever
The DM reminds me of a fellow player in the campaign I'm in. Since her character and mine have a close sisterly relationship, she would try and get my half elf shipped with a variety of guys. Other half elves, elf nobles, and even dragons cause she is a descendant of dragons.
Currently, the player has found 7 elf carpenters and the head of a noble house.
That sounds kinda like some sort of sitcom...
Also... 7 Carpenters... there is a obvious joke to be made but I'm going to resist making it.
@@TheFearsomeRat They must be pretty good with their wood, eh?
Samuraiedge II
Why carpenters specifically?
@@RavenCloak13 We hired them to help rebuild a watchtower we were using as our little headquarters.
Samuraiedge II
Ah neat. But really, all 7 eh? Well, cast a wide net I guess.
"roll to impregnate" ..i saw this in an hentai image once.. but seems it is a real thing XD
Now i wanna play a bard that thier entire plot is them taking care of the aftermath after their younger and horny escapades
That’s a lot of (to quote Donkey from Shrek) “mutant babies”.
This Bard went from being a 1 note love machine to being the embodiment of the song "I Loved 'em, Every One"
🎵 _I've known some painted ladies that sparkled in the light_
_Country girls that loved the lovers moon_
_Some I never really knew,_
_Though I always wanted to_
_Some I only met once in a room_
_Some said they liked my smile,_
_Others of 'em stayed a while_
_While others left me on the run_
_This is the only way,_
_Only way I have to say_
_I loved 'em every one_
_Big, little or short or tall,_
_Wish I could've kept them all_
_I loved 'em every one_
_Like to thank 'em for their charms,_
_Holdin' me in their arms_
_And I hope they had some fun_ 🎵
we literally have a campaign where everyone made half elves..so the joke is they ALL have the same elf bard father XD every person in the campaign is a half sibling XD
I can actually appreciate how well the DM went along with this whole thing, and that's an amazing party to keep that whole track going.
Pretty hilarious use of a bard, especially how things ended XD
The wheel of time is an incredible adventure! Robert Jordan was incredibly detailed with his world
When the kid pick on brings his 60 siblings to the after school
Village Father. Hahaha I can imagine everyone giving his childern that look.
I don't really know who was the "Villan" in this story, The Bard or The DM.
Everyone and no one.
Wheel of Time is literally my favorite series. I'm so happy to see it advertised here
“The stereotypical bard”
I would say the that they are the corrupted nonsensical current version of the bard since this wasn't what they originally were. Originally, you could charm someone, but charming someone isn't the same as seducing someone by any stretch of the imagination.
This DM is so kind letting him play his character fully
This man will be sad, but he just gave every other bard a HUGE FLEX bc he has so many children.
That reminds me!
If anybody here likes Fantasy, Amazon's making a live-action "Wheel of Time" series, and it's looking pretty good!
Thank God. It appears that I am not the only one looking forward to this
We had a "paladin" per say who decided to mess with Aphrodite, and he ended up having I think like 87 kids in one go (no idea how or why) and they ended up having a village of dragonborn.
Well later on, something killed all/most of his kids (I think 1 lived maybe? Idk it's dead now).
So obviously grieved, he goes to the village to see what happened. Well what we forgot/he forgot was that there was a thing he had called "blood rage", which basically caused him to go crazy. Welp, he ate them. All the corpses. (And I just remembered now that one did survive, but he killed them with a slap by accident).
In TLDR fashion, "paladin" messes with Aphrodite, has enough kids to populate a village, they all die, blood rage, he eats all the corpses.
This bard was basically medieval Rasputin and I love it
Reminds me of the one time I played DnD for the first time and someone introduced a "boner check". Completely derailed the entire campaign.
I want to hear that story.
This is why you have someone watching the dam Bard
It must be so awkward to play at this table. I was at a Call of Cthulhu game where an male NPC kept hitting on my female character for the first two sessions... At the end of session 2, my character just said she was a lesbian in love with another female PC and not interested. Then in session 3, the keeper keeps trying to force a romance between my character and the female PC. I just want to investigate supernatural crime, not romance.
Also I'm gonna start playing a male Tabaxi bard for the next 6 weeks of D&D adventure. Let's hope I will be asexual...
Be wholesome bard. Your schtick is camping out on top of the lord's keep, and singing your heart out, for the purposes of denying said lord of sleep because they are an authoritarian goof and you hate their stupid laws. Increase shenanigans by getting as many evasion spells as possible, including invisibility, teleport, and some illusions. Anger said lord to the point of sending bounty hunters after you, lol.
You have my utmost respect for being able to so elaborately humor the bard player without things going off the rails. 👍
It's literally a monster with grotesque animal parts in her body
Bard: Jackpot
The DM had a great sense of humor and accepted the Bard's Challenge.
WEEEE! I am so glad to find another Wheel of Time fan! I've read every book a dozen times!
This is straight-up Monster Girl!
It's crazy hilarious stories like these that make me wanna play D&D, sadly I don't have any friends to play it with... Nor do I know how to play it. The books are insanely expensive too... *sigh* All I have are a few of the older books, but trying to read and study the whole book just to play the game is... ugh, so much work.
That opening sequence was absolutely beautiful!
I saw this title, and my mind went right to that one tortoise that single handedly saved his species
Glad someone is actually promoting his books on youtube. Been long awaited for a great writer.
Good work always get noticed
What an absolute player truly the definition of a bard
Weirdly, I could see the "Bard romancing a vengeful demon bride" thing being a nice romance story in a sorta Dark Fantasy story.
Picture this: A Bard seduces the demon into becoming a bride, and having sweet moments (dates, songs, dancing, etc.) in between harsh missions. Then, after seeing his friends die and wishing to be with his woman in the afterlife, he sets off on his own adventure to get his Demon to become an Angel after this story was finished. Cut to years later, finding him to have some new class to match his Nomadic fate (personally, I'd choose Duelist for flair but that's just me), with the wife as his shadow the whole time; keeping him sane and trying to turn him away from this self-imposed mission in an attempt to save his withering physical state. And every time she'd do this, he'd smile that kind smile that she fell for, and put on a cheerful act to disguise his struggle. She wouldn't buy it, obviously, but it'd make of a very sweet character dynamic.
... what? That was my reaction through it, as I was laughing the whole way.
As a massive Robert Jordan fan, and having invested the better part of 2 decades waiting for/reading the entire Wheel of Time series, the amount of joy I experienced when I heard you say Audible has the audiobooks available for my favorite series of all time; it is beyond measure! I go now to subscribe! *speeds off leaving dust outline*
This is the best Elf/Bard I’ve ever heard of
And this is why every group should have a Bard
When she said her line at 3:01 I immediately thought of the reply “So when do we start????”
So back in the day I made a Half Dragon Sorcerer in a norse setting, he was a grandchild of Nidhogg, and one detail I work shopped with the DM, is that dragons are supernaturally effective in the baby making department, not necessarily in the making it pleasurable because dragons don't do sex for pleasure they just have a matting season, they just have a near 100% chance of producing children when they get around to it, and this trait was inherited by my character, that combine with the fact he was supernaturally charismatic, and the rest of his stats combine to make decent looking, and factor in an early sexual awakening, and he got "the talk" from his adoptive parents pretty late, meant that before he knew what marriage was he had a litter of 30 something children, with 18 women
Before the he joined the campaign
The Wheel of Time series....one of the few book series that can tell LOTR to sit down, shut up, and take some notes.
Stories like this one is the reason I love d&d and this channel, it's amazing what can happen in a "regular" adventure
Amazing how a GM's idea "just to screw with a PC" can suddenly spawn inspiration to something a whole lot better than two weeks of sweating over prep' and trying to do something "just cool enough" without burning out. ;o)
OMG i love you lol. The wheel of time is the BEST. I've listened the series over the couse of a year and a half. 10/10. I recommend it to EVERYONE
Lmfao honestly this is one of my favorite things about D&D , some of the best games are the ones that get carried away having fun!
Not only was that hilarious but that was brilliant!
NGL I really like this guy. He's hilarious and this story was AMAZING. XD
I think it was donkey from Shrek who flirted with the dragon that started the influence of, the whole bard who tried to seduce the dragon, also this remains of Fredrick Anderson bard tail.
Wow...
That DM was great. Kudos to him.
"I roll for impregnation".
Oh. It's one of *those* games.
That book from the promo is pretty darn good for those who don't know! And it's just the second (counting the prequel but not the interquel) of a 15-book series, with even the shortest having a decent length! And Audible has ALL OF THEM.
This story kept escalating and I never knew when to stop.
What a legend I would live to shake the hand of man who created the bard if I ever met him
The wheel of time is FANTASTIC. I honestly might prefer it over tolkiens work. And the audiobooks are great as well. Especially the narrator who handles the female characters. Her voice is so soothing
This was truly the happiest of endings.
A hilarious side effect of bards. I can't help but remember that sorcerors are the natural consequences of bards.