Just have them go outside and play. Take yhem to the park or bike riding, all the above! That is how children exercise and stay healthy and fit and active. By PLAYING. Not running on treadmills and doing push ups. Just take them outside..
For real, this is going to give her kids an intense and potentially lifelong mental correlation between exercise and punishment/suffering, which might make them adverse to exercise in the future due to the negative associations they developed as children. Kind of like raising kids in diet culture leading to unhealthy relationships with food
I am a Race runner dad's kid. He pushed me so hard I have permanent damage to my knee, and permanent loss of joint fluid that could not heal up (yknow, the problem that 60yo-s deal with). And had no energy to concentrate at school. Now I have a busted knee, barely just reached my prime and I can no longer do certain activities, got fat and cut contact with my dad a long time ago.
@@turkiznooh no I'm so sorry 😭 but this is a prime example. It's so crazy to me that adults think it is normal for kids to exercise to this extent. Adult bones, joints, muscles etc are so different than kids! It wouldn't even make sense to excersise a child to that extent. Now you have probably permanent damage and that's unfair. I'm also sorry that you had to cut ties with youe father. I'm sure that's hard :/
I think one of the best ways to get your kid away from the screen is to give them other options to entertain themselves with. Whether it be toys, art, a trampoline in the backyard, extra curricular activities, setting up play dates with their friends that don’t involve screens. If you simply take a screen away from a kid but they don’t have anything else to do (or they think they don’t have anything else to do) they are just gonna be super bored and want the iPad back. you need to provide them with fun alternatives. Especially if they don’t have a sibling, because if you do have a sibling of a similar age, the amount of imagination games two kids can play is crazy.
Although letting them be bored is good too , that’s when they will get the most creative and feel the most self confidence/ satisfaction. Obviously yes for healthy well rounded development they do need access to those things, but they also need access to boredom. They just need time to get used to having to sit with that boredom. I think that’s why screens became such an issue and why so many children struggle to play is because they’ve had all their moments of boredom taken from them.
@@Lady.Fern. i completely agree! Kids should also experience some boredom to 1.get used to it cause not everyday you'll have a great time and 2.to try and spark their creativity and imaginations.
Or build in a small amount of screen time onto their day so they know when their “slot” is - Eg - family tv time between 5-6; tea at 6, individual screen time 6:30-7 or whatever you feel is best
This is the best way to do it. I remember having so much fun on a trampoline especially with my siblings or my friends. As I got older it makes me become more tired faster than I did as a kid.
The reason a young child would freak out because the screen locks middle of them watching is because of how abrupt it is. They would react the same if you suddenly grabbed their crayons before they finished colouring. Transitions are hard for preschoolers and it's best to give a set amount of episodes of a show rather than a hard time limit. They get the closure of having finished the activity and it's easier to move on to a different one.
This doesn’t even have anything to do with age. Grab the pen out of someone hand while they’re writing or unplug the TV while they’re watching a show and see what happens. This isn’t something you outgrow, it’s just a feature of all humans in all age groups.
@@emmanarotzky6565Agreed! Difference is that a preschooler will go into a tantrum/full meltdown from the frustration. Someone older with a fully developed frontal lobe and would get pissed off too but would be able to control their outward reaction.
@@EvilCreampuff I don't know...I've seen adults (some older then me) throw some epic tantrums over something like that. But I get where you're coming from. It is a more common response from a preschooler and expected. It will just lead to scarcity fears and overconsumption issues later in life. Then again, what do I know.
One of my teachers last year bragged about making his ADULT child do push-ups for her car keys. I honestly have no idea how he hasn’t been fired, he was pretty messed up.
i'm 13, almost 14, and i genuinely use my phone/laptop as an escape from everything. watching youtube videos and playing games just keeps me calm while entertained. i have a good family, i am just sometimes stressed out by them too, because obviously not every family's perfect. i'm constantly being yelled at by my mom, mainly because when i try to talk to her or express how i feel, it turns into a lecture. then i get upset and cry in my room for a few hours hoping my comfort youtubers can give me the comfort i crave. then my mom wonders why i'm always in my room and also why i never wanna talk to her about anything. it just always ends in yelling. being in my room alone is just my safe spot and i'm sure many others can agree.
Like I don’t mean that as an insult to you but you probably don’t have experience with what normal parents are like. Your mom is supposed to support you and help you DESTRESS, not stress you out and then make no effort to fix her mistakes. Everyone stresses their kid out accidentally sometimes but then they apologize and try to make up for it and fix their behavior. If you are in your room crying because your mom won’t be normal when you talk to her that’s a big deal and you don’t have a “good family”. Like seriously if you can’t talk to your mom then who are you supposed to talk to?? She’s not taking her job as a parent seriously at all. I’d say you should call her out on it but I don’t even know if she has enough self-awareness to respond to being called out with anything but getting offended.
@@emmanarotzky6565 thanks for your concern i really do appreciate it, o honestly agree on some of this tho. but the thing is with a mom like this, you cant really go to her and talk to her about how you feel or how she makes me feel. and trust me, ive tried. usually turns into a lecture me getting laughed at. i just like to think im grateful i have it better off than far worse moms.
it makes me so angry when people assume that skinny means healthy. i get winded walking up a flight of stairs (i know it's bad, i've been making it a goal to exercise more this year) and i'll say "damn i'm out of shape" and they'll reply with "no you're not" like clearly i am!! just because i have a fast metabolism doesn't mean i'm healthy! my diet is shit and i live a pretty inactive lifestyle, it's not like me being skinny cancels that out or some shit 💀
Just to throw this out there. I'm a grown adult and not addicted to technology, and I would also get a little upset if my computer suddenly locked me out in the middle of a game level or near the end of a show. I wouldn't throw a tantrum but I'd definitely call my computer some bad words.
the whole 'screen time locking' thing is something my parents did to me from when I was 13 - 18. I kind of get why the kid is angry because i wasnt allowed to speak to my friends for more than one hour a day, I could only get about 1 hour total for weekends to game/chat/digitally draw, and i wasnt able to do a lot of activities at school because they required phones and my access was locked (I could only make calls when it was locked.) I also couldnt go outside and play or spend time with my friends without 'earning' it so most of the time i was just a shut-in spending every day in my room because i had to do so much to earn just 5 minutes of screen time or outside time. Its horribly unhealthy for the restrictions, because a lot of the time parents go from complete unsupervised access to screens to the extreme of locking them immediately without trying to teach their kids about a healthy balance of outside time, screen time, rest time, etc.
Yeah my dad used to do this to me. My parents divorced and he got me phone at nine. Anyways, after a year of having this phone, all of a sudden while I was staying at my moms he sent me a list workouts I needed to do every morning and record for him to earn screen time. I think it was like 20 pushups, 20 sit-ups and 20 Russian-twists for about 2 hours of screen time. Mind you when it would lock EVERYTHING locked. The only person I could text was my dad. At some point I got sick of it and the days I didn't send him a video he would just send essays about how I'm being disrespectful by not doing this and that I don't deserve my phone and all this shit. But here's the twist. Whenever I stayed at his house, he would be all kind and say "Oh no, you don't have to do that, here I'll just give you screentime." My point is, he made me feel like I was a horrible child if I didn't do every single thing he wanted. So when I saw your video it immediately brought those memories back and I am SO glad you agree with me.
My dad raised me in a similar way to these kids. He used to barge into my room, say that I had spent too much time on the computer, kick me out of the house and tell me not come back untill I had gone for a long walk (usually a few hours). He would tell me that I was fat and needed to move more. He never asked what I was doing on the computer. I was usually doing homework, but that did not seem to matter. It's beed about 15 years since and I still struggle a lot with my body image and loving myself. I have had issuses with food and have seen exersice as a form of punishment. I'm tired and stressed all the time even though I try to relax. Because I can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing enough and I haven't earned the right to sit down and do nothing. A bit strange to share things like this in a RUclips comment section, but perhaps someone has had, or currently are in, a similar situation.
I'm one of the youngest gen z/ oldest gen alpha but I got hit as a child as a form as discipline made a annoying sound you get hit whined you get hit yelled you get hit. I think it slowly made me believe that hitting your kids is normal and that I deserved it, it also led me to believe that hitting is the only way you can express to someone that you're upset. So yes getting hit as discipline can affect the way you think.
you absolutely did NOT deserve that, i’m so sorry you grew up this way ❤ it’s possible to work through this trauma and reset your outlook on these things, so i really hope you’re able to do that one day. good job recognising that hitting isn’t normal like you once thought! keep it up and keep growing stronger to overcome this trauma 🫶
I remember growing up, sometimes to earn treats I would have to workout. In America, there's this fitness instructor called Billy Blanks. It's pretty much bootcamp you can take home. I'd have to do those work outs when I was a kid, and I fucking hated them so much. If I wanted to quit early, I was called lazy. It got to the point I had to foster my relationship with exercise cause for a long time in my teens, exercise was a punishment and not something you do to take care of yourself. You gotta teach kids to take joy out of the things they HAVE to do lest they avoid them.
Exercising should be HOBBY. NOT. A. JOB. WE ALL NEED REST TIME, EVEN CHILDREN. I can see the pros, but however THIS IS TAKING IT TOO FAR. I am a gamer, and before yall start with the "WhAt Do YoU kNoW", I am trying my best here. Both overstimulation (what I struggle with sometimes) and understimulation are both issues. Like our Kween of Drama said, Rest Time doesn't have to be earned! The Yappersville News has delivered today!
I'll repeat this here as an example: I am a Race runner dad's kid. He pushed me so hard I have permanent damage to my knee, and permanent loss of joint fluid that could not heal up (yknow, the problem that 60yo-s deal with). And had no energy to concentrate at school. Now I have a busted knee, barely just reached my prime and I can no longer do certain activities, got fat and cut contact with my dad a long time ago.
Honestly I don't see anything wrong with that dude, like it's not all down time before exercise it's just screen time, and they're young too so they are lucky to get screen time. Screen is a privilege not a right, down time is a right l, two different things.
This kid died from something i think a seizure because his dad was fit and the boy wasn’t so he made him run on a treadmill at a really fast speed and he hit his head or something and fell. And died. (My sister told me this.)
yes, it was a horrific case of abuse and the trial is still ongoing. if anyone who hasnt heard of this case is interested, the name of the monster "father" who did this to his son is Christopher Gregor.
The dad is currently on trial for murder. Several channels like Court TV and Law & Crime are broadcasting it. NJ v Christopher Gregor. The video of him on the treadmill, falling over and over and trying to get back up, is horrifying. This mom needs to be following that trial.
@@Nicgross Holy. Shit. The fact this happened in my state makes me feel absolutely disgusted... The mom should absolutely be held accountable too, where was she when this happened??! --- [Edit: I looked it up and apparently the mother lost custody of him, it's utterly sad. His pathetic excuse of a "father" did it as punishment, HE WAS SIX. Rest in peace Corey Micciolo.]
@@Nixcharon I live in South Jersey and was also appalled. The parents shared custody and weren’t together. The mother says she reported the father for abuse more than 100 times, but no action was ever taken. She’s now suing CPS for failing to take action.
@@Nicgross I haven’t been on this account because I have another yt channel - this is heartbreaking and said. I hope this boy gets justice. Or even enough justice.
When I was younger (like 8-12) my parent wouldn't let me have a bath or eat after trainings/PE lessons because I had to do my chores first (usually it was an hour of math to do). Now, when I'm independant and can actually do what I want WHEN I want, I literally can't do anything in other way than this. My mind force me to do everything before I go shower myself, cause I don't feel fine when I will firstly go do something as I want. Usually I will clean a house, do chores and everything before I can make myself launch cause after that, I can't even make myself do anything in the house.
I've had parents like that , and it definitely messed with my mental health . I already didn't have much screen time , so taking away food privileges was what they did
I absolutely hate this because if I wanted to go out to my friends house, or a school event, and mom was in a bad mood, she would destroy my room. One time she shoved a bookshelf down and a book hit my eye. So now I feel like if I need to go somewhere, I panic clean my room until it’s spotless.
every point you made is spot on. It is disgusting seeing people doing the absolute bare minimum in parenting then they blame everyone else for their children's behaviors. These children are reacting appropriately to the neglect. Things like these parents do to their children are the exact things that have caused me to have an eating disorder and never feel like i am allowed to rest along with MANY other mental health issues. It really upsets me seeing these parents traumatizing their children and posting them all over the internet bc they think this is good parenting. And then they wonder why their children are addicted to screens and throwing tantrums. They don't have parents.
It's not that hard to get kids off the screens if you find other fun alternatives for them to do. Just taking them for a walk down to road, a bike ride, a trip to the park. Let them play outside a few hours, then come back and rest. THEN they can have screen time!
You can just bet that parent in the AITA with the 10 yo caused the issue themself by just sitting their 1yo down with an ipad rather than interacting with them...and then doing that repeatedly for 3-6 years, until such a time when it stopped being cute and people started judging and the kid started freaking out when their security iPad was taken from them (and omg, i never made that link before, but those ipad parents have in fact turned an ipad/phone into a substitute security blanket...and for some parents it does feel almost painfully apt). But then they pull a shocked picachu face when the kid gets addicted to being on an ipad or freaks out when you take it off them. Aside from that, I just turned 50 years old (oof that sucks to say lol) and I can tell you, if my computer crashes when I am at a crucial point on a game level I have been stuck on for an hour, or internet dies with 5 minutes left of my fave show...I would be pissed...and so would the OP of that post. Anyone who says they wouldn't - that would say they would just shrug and go to do something else - is lying to themselves. But, I always wonder with these ridiculously rigid screen time "privileges...what are they gonna do if the kid is in the middle of his homework when it goes off? Y'know, they've spent 3 hours doing homework for 5 different classes, they're in the middle of one and suddenly screen is locked. Kid then gets detention next day because his schoolwork didn't get done...all because some parents are idiots who don't realise that practically _everything_ requires being on a tablet or computer for school now...hell, some schools even issue laptops to the kids or you are strongly encouraged to get one for your kid (the secondary school here, so from 11 onwards, do it. But some primary schools use them a lot too. The school points out that if you don't have a laptop for the kid (that they use at school as well as home) they will be severely hindered in their education). On top of that, they can also be useful for finding alternate ways to learn or to support other issues (eg I know of someone who is colourblind who will photigraph something and then out it through a filter so he can figure out either what it is or the colours, etc, and I know there are ways colour filters can help people with dyslexia, too). Still, it is too late now, they have created this addiction from whatever origin (either because he was literally trained to equate relaxing meant sitting staring at a screen or because he is having a hard time with some aspect of life so he escapes into the games/shows - pretty sure if there were PCs when I was 10 I would have lived in that thing because I was so miserable from being bullied) and now they have to find a healthy way to break that reliance... emphasis on healthy, but in a psychological way. If a kid is going to freak out over their screen being locked they are going to do _ anything_ you ask to get back on it if you present them with an option. So if you say for every push up you get a minute of screen time...your child is gonna hurt themselves doing as many as possible. And what if they managed to do 50...100...are you gonna deliberately jeopardise their efforts or find other nitpick faults? I mean, they already said they would swap to something else when they got too strong/good. So moving the goal posts, but also...they are essentially just going to be doing just one exercise repeatedly, leading to an imbalance in muscle group training. There are so many ways that this idea of exercising to earn screen time is messed up. The kid never allowing themselves to rest, for a start. But it is also teaching that a boundary/deadline is negotiable if you just find the right bargaining tool. Which could either cause them to be shitty partners in a relationship or be opened to more victimisation...maybe even both. It just... these people created the problem and instead of just spending time with their kids and being good parents, teaching emotional regulation and being committed to a boundary, they send mixed messages and again take the lazy way out instead of parenting niw they are substituting exercises instead of the ipad the used to use that got them in this mess. To be clear, there is room for leaway, logic and compassion with all rules. That is where common sense comes in. If your kid is doing homework it makes no sense to cut off their screen on them arbitrarily. But also, if your kid is watching a show, and there is less than 25% (or like 10-15 minutes or so) left, then would it really hurt to say "Ok, go brush your teeth & get your jammies on and we'll watch the rest together, but then it's bed." Or whatever. If they're playing a game, then: "Ok, how close are you to beating this level, realistically? One more try or 20? Let's compromise, I'll give you X more time or tries (depending how long the level is or whatever), but then it is definitely bedtime/whatever. And instead of walking away and leaving them to it, stay and engage. I mean, I would argue parents should know what your kids are watching/playing anyway, and they shouldn't just be left unattended at that age to do whatever they want online...that's how groomers get a foot in the door.
Ngl I feel the best thing to do is let the child have a set amount of time on devices and if they want extra, they “earn it”. But don’t have it be focused on just exercise maybe they do some chores, sometimes read, sometimes exercise with the parent. Like just have them do something that distracts them from the screen to “earn” the Extra time.
It’s wild to see the kid doing pull ups and push ups. When I was in elementary school we attempted pull ups once a year. The gym teachers obviously knew it was hard for most children to even have the strength to pull their own body weight. I would recommend just telling them to “go outside” to earn screen time. No specific workout or routine. That will give them time to use their imagination and find a way to play without a device. You’re telling a kid that small that they basically need to work out, in order to earn “lazy time” on the tablet. My mom did that to me a lot as a kid for other things (we didn’t have tablets). And “laziness” was always equated to “being fat”. That definitely caused issues later in life for me. Another idea I have is having them do a chore like dishes or folding clothes, that way they begin to learn a sense of responsibility. As adults we do have to do chores most of the time before playing games. But at the same time I really think the parents should be finding a way to make chores fun. Obviously realistically chores aren’t fun for adults. But these are children!!!
I don't really know how to explain but when I'm heavily engaged into something and suddenly/abruptly get pulled out of it, it leaves me reeling, like some weird emotional whiplash and I get illogically angry for a while, so I can get why kids get upset at abruptly being shut down of whatever activity they're doing. Not sure if that made sense. Also, because I was forced to exercise for many years, it became something I absolutely despise and now don't do enough of, because my brain treats it like a punishment.
As someone that had to do extra chores growing up to play even 20 min of a game, and also who instead of spanking had to do exercises as punishments, it definitely fricks a kid up. I cant get myself to go out and even take a walk bc feels like a punishment, i dont feel like i can let myself rest, and i have a ton of self worth issues. I cant get myself to do "traditional" exercises bc they feel like punishments i have to push through, but stuff like dancing and climbing dont.
My mom used to make me and my sibling do things like extra chores and other things for screen time, it made me feel like i needed to sneak it and caused my relationship with working and internet pretty bad, she stopped but i still have problems with both things now
My Question is Why, I’ve said this in a Recent Video. And what I said was: “Kids Under the Age of 10 Shouldn’t be Raised of of Devices” (Excluding Work, Health, Education) etc. and people burned me in the Replies even though it’s true. But I’m not in any way defending this “Parent”
I've always used the internet as an escape from my parents, and i do see it as lazy since i never have much else to do. but forcing your kids to exercise for the internet could not only have a bad relationship with technology but also exercising itsself
A man is on trial for murdering his son. He forced his son on a treadmill even after he flipped off numerous times. But they don't think the treadmill killed him but the multiple injuries. There is a video of the treadmill incident. But the father is on trial for his murder.
@@ArissaHaque mhm i saw one of haylo hayley's videos, she says she has a sister who is the most gothiest person ever and even showed us pictures of Drama Kween
@@laeticialana it was a video about like aesthetics where kids are shaming others for their aesthetics or making up aesthetics that dont make any sense, i can send u the link.
I was brought up on needing to deserve rest. I’m 24 and so burnt out purely from the way I was raised and made to think. It’s been exhausting these last few years trying to teach myself and my brain that it’s okay to rest
I think it's silly how these parents want to act holier than thou about screen time when millennials were just sat in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon cartoon hours and MTV all day.
I feel bad for those kids that have a parent like that the number of disorders that they would have and their relationship with screens their parents and exercising is very concerning
At first before I clicked on this, I wasn't sure what was actually wrong with that. There are lots of benefits to exercise even in the long run, and exercise was also one of the things my parents had me do to earn something (except it was rarer, I mostly did cleaning and other chores to earn stuff). Plus, too much electronics is bad for you. But I do see your point now as I'm watching your video. Especially the earning rest time part. No one should have to feel like they have to earn rest time, rest time and leisure should be a way to relax and unwind. It is good for your mind too to every now and then let yourself have a break.
Its like some of these parentes don’t realise that kids dont need the same kind of exersise that adults may need. going to the playground and running around and playing games is good for both your physical and mental health. It Just looks a little defrent for kids and adults. A kid doesnt need to run on a tredmill when they can play tag
"You can't rest, you haven't done enough today" is so forced into my head, so much so that I struggle *so* much letting myself rest even for a bit, since I feel so bad since I haven't "done enough" that day. Like that one day, when I walked from my mom's place back home. It's 7km, and I'm in a bad shape, so it was a lot to me. But, since it tired me so much, I wasn't able to do pretty much anything else that day. And I felt *so* bad for like 3-4 days, feeling absolutely useless since that one day "all" I could do was the walk.
"I was hit as a kid and I'm fine", proceeds to desperately try and hide any time they cry because even as a teenager the threat "if you don't stop crying I'll give you a reason to cry" still looms in their head (me)
I did have to "earn" screen time as a kid. However it was "do these chores and you get X amount of time on the gamecube/computer" but I always had the choice to not do (most) chores and play with whatever toys I had or draw or a non-screen related activity. I also could watch TV whenever I wanted, as long as it wasn't the time slot a show my dad wanted to watch was on. I also would go outside and play all the time just because it was enjoyable. I think I had a really good mix of time spent off and on screens. I never got "forced" into physical activity, but was instead taught fun ways to have physical activity, and had as much time to rest as I needed. I could complain a lot about my childhood, but I think as far as my relationship with exercise and with food my parents did a pretty good job, and I'm thankful for it
Her Mom could’ve easily carved out a block of time in the day for her daughter to exercise. It keeps her healthy and also keeps her from overexerting herself.
I do tend to always move my reward for getting whatever I need to do done because I feel like I didn’t do it efficiently enough… but I think that was tied to how as I kid, my sibling and I would earn a toy for trying to cultivate a habit and while I always wanted grace when I messed up that one time, I also felt like I hadn’t genuinely earned it if I didn’t do the 2 weeks or 30 days in a row (or whatever it was). That being said, as far as exercise goes, I was in sports but I never really felt that rush of good feels I get now that I’m an adult when I exercise. Tbh most of my unhealthy eating habits and body image issues have to do with being forced into a diet right when I got into middle school, occasional comments I get from my family when I don’t have time to do a whole lot about it, and getting in weird competitions with others about who has it the worst (like the people who really be one up-ing each other with the “I haven’t had dinner yet,” “well I only had one meal today” type of stuff…). Dumb, petty, and stuff I should be able to ignore? Sure. But easier said than done I’m afraid…
as a skinny person, i will be the first to scream from the rooftops that being skinny is NOT a result of solely having a good diet nor working out. I eat like absolute SHET while avoiding working out, and have done so since childhood (against my mums attempts). i do this and still haven’t seen any significant change in my weight, if anything the opposite. genetics is absolutely EVERYTHING when considering someone’s healthy weight and how their body will change based on diet/exercise. im a twin, therefore my mums body went into overtime on building our metabolic systems, i’ve been chronically underweight my whole life no matter how healthy/unhealthy i ate, or how much i worked out. everyone’s body reacts to food differently, so to even try to say being skinny means someone is healthy is an insane claim. there’s no world you can tell me that Eugenia has a healthy lifestyle.
Dude...I used to have to have all my chores done and help my extremely overworking grandmother (AS IN SHE OVERWORKS ON PURPOSE) and now realizing that I'm disabled physically, I can't make myself rest even though I will LITERALLY FAINT if I don't. As im still a minot and my mother won't listen, I'm still stuck dealing with results of this mindset.
Encouraging physical activity is different than this. If I wasn't doing something I was lazy. So now as an adult I feel like shit about myself anytime I rest. I was taught I'm a pos if I'm not doing something to earn that down time. That's exactly how these kids will grow up.
Interacting is key, eg for us, after school, we touch base, grab a snack and talk about their day, then it's helpful to me as a single mum to let my kids play on their tablets while I'm cooking and cleaning, but then we put the tech away (I also make a point of putting my phone aside as well when I expect them to not use their tablets, practice what you preach, kids these days are more aware of hypocrisy than we were at their age, or maybe they're just more confident to point out adult maltreatment than we were as kids, bare in mind for most of us when we were kids if we questioned the adults we'd be punished in some way or another but we're more conscious as parents to be reflective and fairly treat our children well), we then eat as a family then after dinner we'll maybe watch a movie together, play outside together, play boardgames or whatever, before bed time routines start. Parenting takes energy, and even I will sometimes use the tablets as a babysitter so I can grab a cuppa and get some work done, but the key is to balance tech time with family time. Parenting is a hands on role not a part time, when it suits me I'll do the work, role.
These parents are priming their kids for anxiety disorders and it's so uncomfy to just watch it happen :( My mom was the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type and made me feel so shitty for just needing rest or if I couldn't push through sickness. It absolutely contributed to lifelong anxiety.
That is so sad. Not only is the parent using their child as a prop for content online, but they’re also instilling a bad relationship with exercising and body image at a very young age. Making a kid work out to get screen time? Awful “parenting.” Exercise for kids should be playing, not being forced to do traditional gym work outs like adults do. I have my child do a few chores or extra practice with math or spelling if he wants to play games on my phone. Couldn’t imagine making him do push ups or running on a treadmill.
I think she should be outside playing and exercising like a child. But there is nothing wrong with making her child be active so she doesn't spend all her time on a screen. Cause laying around on a screen all day every day or never being active it's extremely unhealthy.
My daughter has the same issue with HER daughter. She ALWAYS wants the tablet. But what my daughter does is allow her daughter "relax" for 30min when she gets home from school but if she wants extra screen time then she has to finish her homework and has done her chores. We are all working hard at getting my granddaughter to eat more healthy. We are working on having an balance with food. Like eat all things healthy before a not as healthy food. We are an active family in terms group sports, but all the adults make sure that she is active like rollerblading or bike riding or walking to the park.
90s kid here, I was allowed to play video games whenever BUT that's bc I had to be doing smthg at all times? If I wasn't working out ( my choice) reading , homework, games or chores " come on go do smthg " it wasn't untill I was older like 15 where I could relax ? Werid I know and boy has it messed me up, even now it's very hard for me to just chill if im not sick..even then..
I can relate to the part about exercise shouldn't be a punishment because as a kid my parents forced me to exercise when I got in trouble for dropping a cup of juice for example neither approach is good nor healthy for kids
I actually have those screen limits on my phone as we speak, now I was not raised on technology but whenever I did get it, only the time was limited. Neither of my parents when both were in my life paid attention to what I watched. I'm fine with being without my phone and have many hobbies like reading or drawing, but that still didn't prevent me from seeing things I definitely shouldn't have as a child (from when I was about 6 to now when I'm 14). My mother often doesn't bring me out, and I am not allowed to go outside my house without someone being with me. Another problem I have with her is that she will just lock my phone because she wants me to pay attention to her (she constantly insults me and my brother) even when I'd rather be alone. A lot of this, along with other actions has led to multiple mental health problems that I choose to not talk to her about (instead a therapist) and she'll often get a bit mad when I don't tell her what happens in these sessions. All and all id much rather her have monitored what I have watched at a young age rather than how long I spent on electronics, so I wouldn't have had as many problems with my health at 14 years old.
I feel like this parenting style is an extremely slippery slope, I grew up with this mindset, and my mom wouldn’t let me eat until I had finished homework. Not only did it give me an unhealthy relationship with food, but to this day I feel like I need to earn the right to eat, and if I don’t finish work I can’t eat. Even though that is more extreme than what these parents are doing I feel like it has pretty much the same effect of creating unhealthy relationships with things and also can cause the feeling that you aren’t enough worse if you aren’t “earning” things
im a teenager, and i do this for myself. i will go on walks for 1-2 hours at least 3 times a week, or meet up w friends at like malls or playgrounds or anywhere that encourages walking. or with my disorded eating habits, i will try to eat something even if it's small. i see relaxation as a reward of these, not that it is something to be earned, because it is NOT something to be earned, and you should be able to have down time no matter what.
I hear stories of children 'errupting in anger' when their ipad screen locks, and i just think damn their life must be pretty damn boring without it. Make them play in the yard, buy them some board games, teach them skills like drawing, cooking e.g. and i just think that they wont have such a bad reaction.
As the youngest part of Gen z, my parents would make me clean like crazy. (I was about 10) Not just clean your room, no, it was clean the kitchen, play with the dogs, clean your room, clean the middle room, clean the backyard, and all in one day. I feel like I have to do something like exercise or clean, to earn something in return. And before I had those restrictions, I was just a little kid with an iPad , and access to the internet.
I have never experienced this type of parenting but my cousins have, their mom is very abusive with her power over them. She takes away their phones after minor inconveniences, my cousin said that they only have 4 hrs of screen time IN THE WEEKENDS. They are religious and even against music, not letting them listen to certain artists and mostly listen to Christian music. My cousin is very miserable there and even sleeps over at my or her friends to escape her parents
My little sister (10yo) outright REFUSES to go on walks, to parks, play outside, etc. And my mum gives in to her so easily so shes become accustomed to just getting infinite screentime and junk food. Its not as simple as 'take them on a walk' if they start complaining after two minutes of walking. And i dont mean just complaining, i mean a straightup tantrum.
7:30 my mom has an app like that on my phone. You can just turn the WiFi off on your phone/iPad and it won’t shut off. You can still play games and shit. Just no WiFi.
I'm a teenager (home schooled), and my parents are rather strict. Most of the time, when I have to earn downtime it is by doing chores, a bit of school, or playing board games; mexican train, chess, uno, risk, ect. (Brain work, before brain rot) I do have issues with my parents, but not on this topic. People who make their kids exercise excessively to have a couple minutes of screen time don't deserve children. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve children.
my parents went through a phase where they did this or something similar. i understand now where they were coming from but it was so annoying at the time.
Oh lord. I am FOREVER SO GRATEFUL for narrowly, oh so narrowly, avoiding being raised at the age of 6 by rectangular electronic devices with vibrant and colorful dancing pixels made by multibillion dollar conglomerates that use specialized algorithms built to understand what you like and dislike on a personal level in order to give you more of what you want and less of what you hate, becoming more and more addicting the more its used just to grab your attention and monetize it to other corporations. So lucky I got my first phone at 17. I'm part of the last generation of kids that used to be bored all day at home just waiting for mom to finish cooking so i can eat and go play outside with my friends, doing whatever the fuck, didn't matter because it was always fun with my friends. I miss those days.
The problem is parents take normal life lessons like “sometimes things have to be done before you can do this thing” that they turn it into extremes like this that cause kids to have very unhealthy relationships with food or exercise or the internet.
When I was younger my mom didn't really have screen time rules (screentime was tv and video games) she gave me all my options and i chose. I played outside just as much as i watched tv. I did sports from preschool up until the 7th grade. Now i have issues but not because of the tv. Like i can set down my phone for hours and not feel like I need to look at a screen every 5 seconds
These influencer moms have no idea that things like tae kwon do, gymnastics, soccer basketball and other teams or like after scgool stuff exist. Thats how I stayed fit as a child, my parents let me go out, I did gymnastics on the side. Eventually I decided to hit the gym myself. Bonus info: In germany here where I live at least, its forbidden to hit the gym undee the age of 15. Some gyms allow it if someone over 18+ tags along. My gym is super strict on the age rule, I have to wait 2 years to be able to bring my friends to the gym with me without them signing up on the weekends!! This is honestly so unethical and I feel so bad for the kid.. I exercise for fun.. not as a punishment or to earn things.?
If you mixed it up a little it could be okay. Yes exercise can be one of the things, but also, read a book, go outside, help with the chores around the house, make some of those things they can do to "earn screentime" things that can be enjoyable, so it's more a way to get them to do other things.
Yall didn’t hear about that dad that forced his son to run on the treadmill for hours and he passed away??? Yeah I can see her wanting her kid to earn screen time but not like this. Finish your home work? 30 min of screen time. Clean your room after I told you the first time? 30 minutes of screen time. Eat all your veggies??? More screen time. I can see this.
my mom used to make me exercise to get screen time. i would have to do a 30 min workout for 30 min of screen time. lots of times it would just be a yoga or going outside but once a week i did a video (it was for kids tho)
4:54 "a reward not to be earned". Er? reward. noun. a thing given in recognition of service effort or achievement. This take is too extreme the other direction due to personal insecurities. Plenty of pro-gamers include workout time in their day. You can teach a child to do energetic physical activity for 15min before an hour of screen time up to twice per day. That's good parenting. Giving children rewards they didn't earn (which isn't a reward; it's an indulgent) got us Sephora kids.
So as a kid I don’t think they need to be “exercising”… they need to be PLAYING and having FUN! I play basketball with my son, have high intensity light saber battles, play soccer, swimming, we go for walks together and play at the park! He’s almost 13 so when I workout I’ll offer for him to come if he wants and sometimes he does. But I never make him! He can if he wants. But literally every single day we are active and having fun!
I personally feel it depends from kid too kid, i dont think you can straight up say this is good or bad. I am currently in my teens and i have a brother who will play video games 14 hours a day if he can, to the point where he would rather miss out n family activities than miss a new event in his games (that come like every day), my parents try doing stuff with him, they try going for walks they try playing board games, but video games will always be more important. My brother does really love being around my parents if he feels like it. I feel as tho we are trying what we can. But video games glitch and it ruins his mood for the rest of the day, having unlimited screen time cant be healthy for kids, in the end if he dosent have screen time he won’t spend any time with us, and currently the only interest he’s had for years is video games, so that feels like the only thing we can use to encourage trying new stuff. I agree with you most of the time and I love your videos but I do somewhat disagree here🥲
I remember my mom scolded me as a teen for taking naps during the day. I understand why she did it, but I still felt like I had to work till I was exhausted and couldn’t move anymore in order to sleep. That’s not great.
Just have them go outside and play. Take yhem to the park or bike riding, all the above! That is how children exercise and stay healthy and fit and active. By PLAYING. Not running on treadmills and doing push ups. Just take them outside..
Exactly that
For real, this is going to give her kids an intense and potentially lifelong mental correlation between exercise and punishment/suffering, which might make them adverse to exercise in the future due to the negative associations they developed as children. Kind of like raising kids in diet culture leading to unhealthy relationships with food
I am a Race runner dad's kid. He pushed me so hard I have permanent damage to my knee, and permanent loss of joint fluid that could not heal up (yknow, the problem that 60yo-s deal with). And had no energy to concentrate at school.
Now I have a busted knee, barely just reached my prime and I can no longer do certain activities, got fat and cut contact with my dad a long time ago.
Extactly! Just DO stuff with your kids!
@@turkiznooh no I'm so sorry 😭 but this is a prime example. It's so crazy to me that adults think it is normal for kids to exercise to this extent. Adult bones, joints, muscles etc are so different than kids! It wouldn't even make sense to excersise a child to that extent. Now you have probably permanent damage and that's unfair. I'm also sorry that you had to cut ties with youe father. I'm sure that's hard :/
This is something my mom did. 1 hours of exercise for 30 minutes of any electronic. She gave up after I got diagnosed with bulimia
Hopefully you overcame it
Damn that’s messed up, why do parents think that would even be the best way to raise children?
that must’ve be so tough, i hope you’ve gotten through bulimia ☹️☹️🩷
What is bulimia?
@@thefifthofleelee an eating disorder (not going to go into detail here though bc it’s a sensitive topic)
I think one of the best ways to get your kid away from the screen is to give them other options to entertain themselves with. Whether it be toys, art, a trampoline in the backyard, extra curricular activities, setting up play dates with their friends that don’t involve screens. If you simply take a screen away from a kid but they don’t have anything else to do (or they think they don’t have anything else to do) they are just gonna be super bored and want the iPad back. you need to provide them with fun alternatives. Especially if they don’t have a sibling, because if you do have a sibling of a similar age, the amount of imagination games two kids can play is crazy.
I suggest they buy those toys that have awesome sets, great distraction from a phone/tablet
Although letting them be bored is good too , that’s when they will get the most creative and feel the most self confidence/ satisfaction. Obviously yes for healthy well rounded development they do need access to those things, but they also need access to boredom. They just need time to get used to having to sit with that boredom. I think that’s why screens became such an issue and why so many children struggle to play is because they’ve had all their moments of boredom taken from them.
@@Lady.Fern. i completely agree! Kids should also experience some boredom to 1.get used to it cause not everyday you'll have a great time and 2.to try and spark their creativity and imaginations.
Or build in a small amount of screen time onto their day so they know when their “slot” is -
Eg - family tv time between 5-6; tea at 6, individual screen time 6:30-7 or whatever you feel is best
This is the best way to do it. I remember having so much fun on a trampoline especially with my siblings or my friends. As I got older it makes me become more tired faster than I did as a kid.
The reason a young child would freak out because the screen locks middle of them watching is because of how abrupt it is. They would react the same if you suddenly grabbed their crayons before they finished colouring. Transitions are hard for preschoolers and it's best to give a set amount of episodes of a show rather than a hard time limit. They get the closure of having finished the activity and it's easier to move on to a different one.
This doesn’t even have anything to do with age. Grab the pen out of someone hand while they’re writing or unplug the TV while they’re watching a show and see what happens. This isn’t something you outgrow, it’s just a feature of all humans in all age groups.
@@emmanarotzky6565Agreed! Difference is that a preschooler will go into a tantrum/full meltdown from the frustration. Someone older with a fully developed frontal lobe and would get pissed off too but would be able to control their outward reaction.
or teach them that that they should finish wat they like before the screen locks
@@EvilCreampuff I don't know...I've seen adults (some older then me) throw some epic tantrums over something like that. But I get where you're coming from. It is a more common response from a preschooler and expected. It will just lead to scarcity fears and overconsumption issues later in life. Then again, what do I know.
One of my teachers last year bragged about making his ADULT child do push-ups for her car keys. I honestly have no idea how he hasn’t been fired, he was pretty messed up.
HUH?
Damn, that's crazy.
Idk dude, maybe the kid crashed the last one and now is making her truly think before drive
@maffe_distroyer the key word is "adult"
Bro, what!?
i'm 13, almost 14, and i genuinely use my phone/laptop as an escape from everything. watching youtube videos and playing games just keeps me calm while entertained. i have a good family, i am just sometimes stressed out by them too, because obviously not every family's perfect. i'm constantly being yelled at by my mom, mainly because when i try to talk to her or express how i feel, it turns into a lecture. then i get upset and cry in my room for a few hours hoping my comfort youtubers can give me the comfort i crave. then my mom wonders why i'm always in my room and also why i never wanna talk to her about anything. it just always ends in yelling. being in my room alone is just my safe spot and i'm sure many others can agree.
I agree
Ummm you said you have a good family but then described the most useless mom in the world… I don’t think you know what “good” means
Like I don’t mean that as an insult to you but you probably don’t have experience with what normal parents are like. Your mom is supposed to support you and help you DESTRESS, not stress you out and then make no effort to fix her mistakes. Everyone stresses their kid out accidentally sometimes but then they apologize and try to make up for it and fix their behavior. If you are in your room crying because your mom won’t be normal when you talk to her that’s a big deal and you don’t have a “good family”. Like seriously if you can’t talk to your mom then who are you supposed to talk to?? She’s not taking her job as a parent seriously at all. I’d say you should call her out on it but I don’t even know if she has enough self-awareness to respond to being called out with anything but getting offended.
@@emmanarotzky6565 thanks for your concern i really do appreciate it, o honestly agree on some of this tho. but the thing is with a mom like this, you cant really go to her and talk to her about how you feel or how she makes me feel. and trust me, ive tried. usually turns into a lecture me getting laughed at. i just like to think im grateful i have it better off than far worse moms.
instead of coping, i suggest u make an escape plan from ur trash mother
it makes me so angry when people assume that skinny means healthy. i get winded walking up a flight of stairs (i know it's bad, i've been making it a goal to exercise more this year) and i'll say "damn i'm out of shape" and they'll reply with "no you're not" like clearly i am!! just because i have a fast metabolism doesn't mean i'm healthy! my diet is shit and i live a pretty inactive lifestyle, it's not like me being skinny cancels that out or some shit 💀
Just to throw this out there. I'm a grown adult and not addicted to technology, and I would also get a little upset if my computer suddenly locked me out in the middle of a game level or near the end of a show. I wouldn't throw a tantrum but I'd definitely call my computer some bad words.
Dammit Kween must be poppin off if I keep getting all these bots replying to me.
These moms are getting worse and worse (influencer moms)
yeah they are getting worse
Non influencer mums are just as bad I swear it's insane.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692it’s dads too
don’t forget about the influencer dads
It’s like using food as a reward. It won’t end well
screentime and food r very different things lmao
Are you a NEWJEANS Stan?
@@missyrochxoxo585 no but you get what I mean. Unhealthy obsessions with things that were previously seen as something you had to earn
@@laeticialana yeah! I’m not a toxic one or smt don’t worry lmao
@@Supershy822 I'm actually a Newjeans stan too and I'm not toxic.
the whole 'screen time locking' thing is something my parents did to me from when I was 13 - 18. I kind of get why the kid is angry because i wasnt allowed to speak to my friends for more than one hour a day, I could only get about 1 hour total for weekends to game/chat/digitally draw, and i wasnt able to do a lot of activities at school because they required phones and my access was locked (I could only make calls when it was locked.) I also couldnt go outside and play or spend time with my friends without 'earning' it so most of the time i was just a shut-in spending every day in my room because i had to do so much to earn just 5 minutes of screen time or outside time. Its horribly unhealthy for the restrictions, because a lot of the time parents go from complete unsupervised access to screens to the extreme of locking them immediately without trying to teach their kids about a healthy balance of outside time, screen time, rest time, etc.
Yeah my dad used to do this to me. My parents divorced and he got me phone at nine. Anyways, after a year of having this phone, all of a sudden while I was staying at my moms he sent me a list workouts I needed to do every morning and record for him to earn screen time. I think it was like 20 pushups, 20 sit-ups and 20 Russian-twists for about 2 hours of screen time. Mind you when it would lock EVERYTHING locked. The only person I could text was my dad. At some point I got sick of it and the days I didn't send him a video he would just send essays about how I'm being disrespectful by not doing this and that I don't deserve my phone and all this shit. But here's the twist. Whenever I stayed at his house, he would be all kind and say "Oh no, you don't have to do that, here I'll just give you screentime."
My point is, he made me feel like I was a horrible child if I didn't do every single thing he wanted. So when I saw your video it immediately brought those memories back and I am SO glad you agree with me.
My dad raised me in a similar way to these kids.
He used to barge into my room, say that I had spent too much time on the computer, kick me out of the house and tell me not come back untill I had gone for a long walk (usually a few hours). He would tell me that I was fat and needed to move more.
He never asked what I was doing on the computer. I was usually doing homework, but that did not seem to matter.
It's beed about 15 years since and I still struggle a lot with my body image and loving myself.
I have had issuses with food and have seen exersice as a form of punishment.
I'm tired and stressed all the time even though I try to relax. Because I can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing enough and I haven't earned the right to sit down and do nothing.
A bit strange to share things like this in a RUclips comment section, but perhaps someone has had, or currently are in, a similar situation.
I'm one of the youngest gen z/ oldest gen alpha but I got hit as a child as a form as discipline made a annoying sound you get hit whined you get hit yelled you get hit. I think it slowly made me believe that hitting your kids is normal and that I deserved it, it also led me to believe that hitting is the only way you can express to someone that you're upset. So yes getting hit as discipline can affect the way you think.
It’s abuse
you absolutely did NOT deserve that, i’m so sorry you grew up this way ❤ it’s possible to work through this trauma and reset your outlook on these things, so i really hope you’re able to do that one day. good job recognising that hitting isn’t normal like you once thought! keep it up and keep growing stronger to overcome this trauma 🫶
13
@Elk_3I’m 13 and my bdays in march too :3
@Elk_3sorry I know I’m not quite involved I’m a bit of an oversharer ☠️
I remember growing up, sometimes to earn treats I would have to workout. In America, there's this fitness instructor called Billy Blanks. It's pretty much bootcamp you can take home. I'd have to do those work outs when I was a kid, and I fucking hated them so much. If I wanted to quit early, I was called lazy. It got to the point I had to foster my relationship with exercise cause for a long time in my teens, exercise was a punishment and not something you do to take care of yourself.
You gotta teach kids to take joy out of the things they HAVE to do lest they avoid them.
Oh my God, my mom made me do Bully Blanks workouts... Hated it, and felt like I was dying the whole time. Those exercises are NOT for kids.
Exercising should be HOBBY. NOT. A. JOB. WE ALL NEED REST TIME, EVEN CHILDREN. I can see the pros, but however THIS IS TAKING IT TOO FAR. I am a gamer, and before yall start with the "WhAt Do YoU kNoW", I am trying my best here. Both overstimulation (what I struggle with sometimes) and understimulation are both issues. Like our Kween of Drama said, Rest Time doesn't have to be earned! The Yappersville News has delivered today!
I'll repeat this here as an example: I am a Race runner dad's kid. He pushed me so hard I have permanent damage to my knee, and permanent loss of joint fluid that could not heal up (yknow, the problem that 60yo-s deal with). And had no energy to concentrate at school.
Now I have a busted knee, barely just reached my prime and I can no longer do certain activities, got fat and cut contact with my dad a long time ago.
Honestly I don't see anything wrong with that dude, like it's not all down time before exercise it's just screen time, and they're young too so they are lucky to get screen time. Screen is a privilege not a right, down time is a right l, two different things.
This kid died from something i think a seizure because his dad was fit and the boy wasn’t so he made him run on a treadmill at a really fast speed and he hit his head or something and fell. And died. (My sister told me this.)
yes, it was a horrific case of abuse and the trial is still ongoing. if anyone who hasnt heard of this case is interested, the name of the monster "father" who did this to his son is Christopher Gregor.
The dad is currently on trial for murder. Several channels like Court TV and Law & Crime are broadcasting it. NJ v Christopher Gregor. The video of him on the treadmill, falling over and over and trying to get back up, is horrifying. This mom needs to be following that trial.
@@Nicgross Holy. Shit. The fact this happened in my state makes me feel absolutely disgusted... The mom should absolutely be held accountable too, where was she when this happened??! --- [Edit: I looked it up and apparently the mother lost custody of him, it's utterly sad. His pathetic excuse of a "father" did it as punishment, HE WAS SIX. Rest in peace Corey Micciolo.]
@@Nixcharon I live in South Jersey and was also appalled. The parents shared custody and weren’t together. The mother says she reported the father for abuse more than 100 times, but no action was ever taken. She’s now suing CPS for failing to take action.
@@Nicgross I haven’t been on this account because I have another yt channel - this is heartbreaking and said. I hope this boy gets justice. Or even enough justice.
When I was younger (like 8-12) my parent wouldn't let me have a bath or eat after trainings/PE lessons because I had to do my chores first (usually it was an hour of math to do). Now, when I'm independant and can actually do what I want WHEN I want, I literally can't do anything in other way than this. My mind force me to do everything before I go shower myself, cause I don't feel fine when I will firstly go do something as I want. Usually I will clean a house, do chores and everything before I can make myself launch cause after that, I can't even make myself do anything in the house.
I've had parents like that , and it definitely messed with my mental health . I already didn't have much screen time , so taking away food privileges was what they did
I absolutely hate this because if I wanted to go out to my friends house, or a school event, and mom was in a bad mood, she would destroy my room. One time she shoved a bookshelf down and a book hit my eye. So now I feel like if I need to go somewhere, I panic clean my room until it’s spotless.
My mom sets a time limit on my phone but the problem is it comes with limits I don't need and it's annoying.
I'm glad that social media didn't exist when I was a child.
Wake up babe, drama kween just posted!!
Im awake!!
AHHHHH IM AWAKE
every point you made is spot on. It is disgusting seeing people doing the absolute bare minimum in parenting then they blame everyone else for their children's behaviors. These children are reacting appropriately to the neglect. Things like these parents do to their children are the exact things that have caused me to have an eating disorder and never feel like i am allowed to rest along with MANY other mental health issues. It really upsets me seeing these parents traumatizing their children and posting them all over the internet bc they think this is good parenting. And then they wonder why their children are addicted to screens and throwing tantrums. They don't have parents.
It's not that hard to get kids off the screens if you find other fun alternatives for them to do. Just taking them for a walk down to road, a bike ride, a trip to the park. Let them play outside a few hours, then come back and rest. THEN they can have screen time!
GREAT IDEA!!
You can just bet that parent in the AITA with the 10 yo caused the issue themself by just sitting their 1yo down with an ipad rather than interacting with them...and then doing that repeatedly for 3-6 years, until such a time when it stopped being cute and people started judging and the kid started freaking out when their security iPad was taken from them (and omg, i never made that link before, but those ipad parents have in fact turned an ipad/phone into a substitute security blanket...and for some parents it does feel almost painfully apt).
But then they pull a shocked picachu face when the kid gets addicted to being on an ipad or freaks out when you take it off them.
Aside from that, I just turned 50 years old (oof that sucks to say lol) and I can tell you, if my computer crashes when I am at a crucial point on a game level I have been stuck on for an hour, or internet dies with 5 minutes left of my fave show...I would be pissed...and so would the OP of that post. Anyone who says they wouldn't - that would say they would just shrug and go to do something else - is lying to themselves.
But, I always wonder with these ridiculously rigid screen time "privileges...what are they gonna do if the kid is in the middle of his homework when it goes off? Y'know, they've spent 3 hours doing homework for 5 different classes, they're in the middle of one and suddenly screen is locked. Kid then gets detention next day because his schoolwork didn't get done...all because some parents are idiots who don't realise that practically _everything_ requires being on a tablet or computer for school now...hell, some schools even issue laptops to the kids or you are strongly encouraged to get one for your kid (the secondary school here, so from 11 onwards, do it. But some primary schools use them a lot too. The school points out that if you don't have a laptop for the kid (that they use at school as well as home) they will be severely hindered in their education). On top of that, they can also be useful for finding alternate ways to learn or to support other issues (eg I know of someone who is colourblind who will photigraph something and then out it through a filter so he can figure out either what it is or the colours, etc, and I know there are ways colour filters can help people with dyslexia, too).
Still, it is too late now, they have created this addiction from whatever origin (either because he was literally trained to equate relaxing meant sitting staring at a screen or because he is having a hard time with some aspect of life so he escapes into the games/shows - pretty sure if there were PCs when I was 10 I would have lived in that thing because I was so miserable from being bullied) and now they have to find a healthy way to break that reliance... emphasis on healthy, but in a psychological way.
If a kid is going to freak out over their screen being locked they are going to do _ anything_ you ask to get back on it if you present them with an option. So if you say for every push up you get a minute of screen time...your child is gonna hurt themselves doing as many as possible. And what if they managed to do 50...100...are you gonna deliberately jeopardise their efforts or find other nitpick faults? I mean, they already said they would swap to something else when they got too strong/good. So moving the goal posts, but also...they are essentially just going to be doing just one exercise repeatedly, leading to an imbalance in muscle group training.
There are so many ways that this idea of exercising to earn screen time is messed up. The kid never allowing themselves to rest, for a start. But it is also teaching that a boundary/deadline is negotiable if you just find the right bargaining tool. Which could either cause them to be shitty partners in a relationship or be opened to more victimisation...maybe even both.
It just... these people created the problem and instead of just spending time with their kids and being good parents, teaching emotional regulation and being committed to a boundary, they send mixed messages and again take the lazy way out instead of parenting niw they are substituting exercises instead of the ipad the used to use that got them in this mess.
To be clear, there is room for leaway, logic and compassion with all rules. That is where common sense comes in. If your kid is doing homework it makes no sense to cut off their screen on them arbitrarily. But also, if your kid is watching a show, and there is less than 25% (or like 10-15 minutes or so) left, then would it really hurt to say "Ok, go brush your teeth & get your jammies on and we'll watch the rest together, but then it's bed." Or whatever. If they're playing a game, then: "Ok, how close are you to beating this level, realistically? One more try or 20? Let's compromise, I'll give you X more time or tries (depending how long the level is or whatever), but then it is definitely bedtime/whatever. And instead of walking away and leaving them to it, stay and engage. I mean, I would argue parents should know what your kids are watching/playing anyway, and they shouldn't just be left unattended at that age to do whatever they want online...that's how groomers get a foot in the door.
Thiiiiisss. Super well rounded and well reasoned. Literally couldn't have said it better if I tried my best
Every time i see videos like this about kids and ipads, im continuously more thankful i grew up in a time before them. 🤣
Ngl I feel the best thing to do is let the child have a set amount of time on devices and if they want extra, they “earn it”. But don’t have it be focused on just exercise maybe they do some chores, sometimes read, sometimes exercise with the parent. Like just have them do something that distracts them from the screen to “earn” the Extra time.
You’d literally be an amazing mother I LOVE the way you look at life. Discipline is importance yes but ALSO raising your kid with love is too.
Just getting your kids exposed for the whole world to see... It sure takes a different mindset.
Why do adults think they can use kids??
These are the types of adults who control anyone weaker than them, and it's sad seeing them as parents.
It’s wild to see the kid doing pull ups and push ups. When I was in elementary school we attempted pull ups once a year. The gym teachers obviously knew it was hard for most children to even have the strength to pull their own body weight. I would recommend just telling them to “go outside” to earn screen time. No specific workout or routine. That will give them time to use their imagination and find a way to play without a device. You’re telling a kid that small that they basically need to work out, in order to earn “lazy time” on the tablet. My mom did that to me a lot as a kid for other things (we didn’t have tablets). And “laziness” was always equated to “being fat”. That definitely caused issues later in life for me. Another idea I have is having them do a chore like dishes or folding clothes, that way they begin to learn a sense of responsibility. As adults we do have to do chores most of the time before playing games. But at the same time I really think the parents should be finding a way to make chores fun. Obviously realistically chores aren’t fun for adults. But these are children!!!
I don't really know how to explain but when I'm heavily engaged into something and suddenly/abruptly get pulled out of it, it leaves me reeling, like some weird emotional whiplash and I get illogically angry for a while, so I can get why kids get upset at abruptly being shut down of whatever activity they're doing. Not sure if that made sense. Also, because I was forced to exercise for many years, it became something I absolutely despise and now don't do enough of, because my brain treats it like a punishment.
As someone that had to do extra chores growing up to play even 20 min of a game, and also who instead of spanking had to do exercises as punishments, it definitely fricks a kid up.
I cant get myself to go out and even take a walk bc feels like a punishment, i dont feel like i can let myself rest, and i have a ton of self worth issues. I cant get myself to do "traditional" exercises bc they feel like punishments i have to push through, but stuff like dancing and climbing dont.
My mom used to make me and my sibling do things like extra chores and other things for screen time, it made me feel like i needed to sneak it and caused my relationship with working and internet pretty bad, she stopped but i still have problems with both things now
My Question is Why, I’ve said this in a Recent Video. And what I said was: “Kids Under the Age of 10 Shouldn’t be Raised of of Devices” (Excluding Work, Health, Education) etc. and people burned me in the Replies even though it’s true. But I’m not in any way defending this “Parent”
I've always used the internet as an escape from my parents, and i do see it as lazy since i never have much else to do. but forcing your kids to exercise for the internet could not only have a bad relationship with technology but also exercising itsself
So grateful my Mum encouraged physical activity growing up..not ever expecting anything, but making sure we had a good time❤
My brother made me exercise for even internet access, on top of many many other horrible ways to raise me 😭
A man is on trial for murdering his son. He forced his son on a treadmill even after he flipped off numerous times. But they don't think the treadmill killed him but the multiple injuries. There is a video of the treadmill incident. But the father is on trial for his murder.
Also did not know Haylo Hayley was her sister 🤯
WAIT WHATTTTTT
@@ArissaHaque mhm i saw one of haylo hayley's videos, she says she has a sister who is the most gothiest person ever and even showed us pictures of Drama Kween
@@IamtherealDioBrando no way!
@@IamtherealDioBrando which video?
@@laeticialana it was a video about like aesthetics where kids are shaming others for their aesthetics or making up aesthetics that dont make any sense, i can send u the link.
0:49 I thought the phone was real 😂 (I need better glasses)
I was brought up on needing to deserve rest. I’m 24 and so burnt out purely from the way I was raised and made to think. It’s been exhausting these last few years trying to teach myself and my brain that it’s okay to rest
I think it's silly how these parents want to act holier than thou about screen time when millennials were just sat in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon cartoon hours and MTV all day.
I feel bad for those kids that have a parent like that the number of disorders that they would have and their relationship with screens their parents and exercising is very concerning
At first before I clicked on this, I wasn't sure what was actually wrong with that. There are lots of benefits to exercise even in the long run, and exercise was also one of the things my parents had me do to earn something (except it was rarer, I mostly did cleaning and other chores to earn stuff). Plus, too much electronics is bad for you. But I do see your point now as I'm watching your video. Especially the earning rest time part. No one should have to feel like they have to earn rest time, rest time and leisure should be a way to relax and unwind. It is good for your mind too to every now and then let yourself have a break.
Its like some of these parentes don’t realise that kids dont need the same kind of exersise that adults may need. going to the playground and running around and playing games is good for both your physical and mental health. It Just looks a little defrent for kids and adults. A kid doesnt need to run on a tredmill when they can play tag
I think your hair looks so pretty today
ur makeup looks great!
"You can't rest, you haven't done enough today" is so forced into my head, so much so that I struggle *so* much letting myself rest even for a bit, since I feel so bad since I haven't "done enough" that day.
Like that one day, when I walked from my mom's place back home. It's 7km, and I'm in a bad shape, so it was a lot to me. But, since it tired me so much, I wasn't able to do pretty much anything else that day. And I felt *so* bad for like 3-4 days, feeling absolutely useless since that one day "all" I could do was the walk.
These influencer moms on TikTok are getting even more worse by the day
I agree mostly but i dont think ipad equals rest time, more like brain rot time. Books and music exist too. But oh yeah, the kids cant read anymore.
"I was hit as a kid and I'm fine", proceeds to desperately try and hide any time they cry because even as a teenager the threat "if you don't stop crying I'll give you a reason to cry" still looms in their head
(me)
I did have to "earn" screen time as a kid. However it was "do these chores and you get X amount of time on the gamecube/computer" but I always had the choice to not do (most) chores and play with whatever toys I had or draw or a non-screen related activity. I also could watch TV whenever I wanted, as long as it wasn't the time slot a show my dad wanted to watch was on. I also would go outside and play all the time just because it was enjoyable.
I think I had a really good mix of time spent off and on screens. I never got "forced" into physical activity, but was instead taught fun ways to have physical activity, and had as much time to rest as I needed.
I could complain a lot about my childhood, but I think as far as my relationship with exercise and with food my parents did a pretty good job, and I'm thankful for it
Her Mom could’ve easily carved out a block of time in the day for her daughter to exercise. It keeps her healthy and also keeps her from overexerting herself.
I do tend to always move my reward for getting whatever I need to do done because I feel like I didn’t do it efficiently enough… but I think that was tied to how as I kid, my sibling and I would earn a toy for trying to cultivate a habit and while I always wanted grace when I messed up that one time, I also felt like I hadn’t genuinely earned it if I didn’t do the 2 weeks or 30 days in a row (or whatever it was).
That being said, as far as exercise goes, I was in sports but I never really felt that rush of good feels I get now that I’m an adult when I exercise. Tbh most of my unhealthy eating habits and body image issues have to do with being forced into a diet right when I got into middle school, occasional comments I get from my family when I don’t have time to do a whole lot about it, and getting in weird competitions with others about who has it the worst (like the people who really be one up-ing each other with the “I haven’t had dinner yet,” “well I only had one meal today” type of stuff…). Dumb, petty, and stuff I should be able to ignore? Sure. But easier said than done I’m afraid…
as a skinny person, i will be the first to scream from the rooftops that being skinny is NOT a result of solely having a good diet nor working out. I eat like absolute SHET while avoiding working out, and have done so since childhood (against my mums attempts). i do this and still haven’t seen any significant change in my weight, if anything the opposite. genetics is absolutely EVERYTHING when considering someone’s healthy weight and how their body will change based on diet/exercise. im a twin, therefore my mums body went into overtime on building our metabolic systems, i’ve been chronically underweight my whole life no matter how healthy/unhealthy i ate, or how much i worked out. everyone’s body reacts to food differently, so to even try to say being skinny means someone is healthy is an insane claim. there’s no world you can tell me that Eugenia has a healthy lifestyle.
Dude...I used to have to have all my chores done and help my extremely overworking grandmother (AS IN SHE OVERWORKS ON PURPOSE) and now realizing that I'm disabled physically, I can't make myself rest even though I will LITERALLY FAINT if I don't. As im still a minot and my mother won't listen, I'm still stuck dealing with results of this mindset.
5:50 i relate so much my parents are gen x they were both abused as a child.
Encouraging physical activity is different than this. If I wasn't doing something I was lazy. So now as an adult I feel like shit about myself anytime I rest. I was taught I'm a pos if I'm not doing something to earn that down time. That's exactly how these kids will grow up.
Interacting is key, eg for us, after school, we touch base, grab a snack and talk about their day, then it's helpful to me as a single mum to let my kids play on their tablets while I'm cooking and cleaning, but then we put the tech away (I also make a point of putting my phone aside as well when I expect them to not use their tablets, practice what you preach, kids these days are more aware of hypocrisy than we were at their age, or maybe they're just more confident to point out adult maltreatment than we were as kids, bare in mind for most of us when we were kids if we questioned the adults we'd be punished in some way or another but we're more conscious as parents to be reflective and fairly treat our children well), we then eat as a family then after dinner we'll maybe watch a movie together, play outside together, play boardgames or whatever, before bed time routines start. Parenting takes energy, and even I will sometimes use the tablets as a babysitter so I can grab a cuppa and get some work done, but the key is to balance tech time with family time. Parenting is a hands on role not a part time, when it suits me I'll do the work, role.
These parents are priming their kids for anxiety disorders and it's so uncomfy to just watch it happen :( My mom was the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type and made me feel so shitty for just needing rest or if I couldn't push through sickness. It absolutely contributed to lifelong anxiety.
That is so sad. Not only is the parent using their child as a prop for content online, but they’re also instilling a bad relationship with exercising and body image at a very young age. Making a kid work out to get screen time? Awful “parenting.” Exercise for kids should be playing, not being forced to do traditional gym work outs like adults do. I have my child do a few chores or extra practice with math or spelling if he wants to play games on my phone. Couldn’t imagine making him do push ups or running on a treadmill.
I think she should be outside playing and exercising like a child. But there is nothing wrong with making her child be active so she doesn't spend all her time on a screen. Cause laying around on a screen all day every day or never being active it's extremely unhealthy.
My daughter has the same issue with HER daughter. She ALWAYS wants the tablet. But what my daughter does is allow her daughter "relax" for 30min when she gets home from school but if she wants extra screen time then she has to finish her homework and has done her chores. We are all working hard at getting my granddaughter to eat more healthy. We are working on having an balance with food. Like eat all things healthy before a not as healthy food. We are an active family in terms group sports, but all the adults make sure that she is active like rollerblading or bike riding or walking to the park.
90s kid here, I was allowed to play video games whenever BUT that's bc I had to be doing smthg at all times? If I wasn't working out ( my choice) reading , homework, games or chores " come on go do smthg " it wasn't untill I was older like 15 where I could relax ? Werid I know and boy has it messed me up, even now it's very hard for me to just chill if im not sick..even then..
my bio dad used to make me and my older brother do exercises as punishment for bad behavior
I can relate to the part about exercise shouldn't be a punishment because as a kid my parents forced me to exercise when I got in trouble for dropping a cup of juice for example neither approach is good nor healthy for kids
I actually have those screen limits on my phone as we speak, now I was not raised on technology but whenever I did get it, only the time was limited. Neither of my parents when both were in my life paid attention to what I watched. I'm fine with being without my phone and have many hobbies like reading or drawing, but that still didn't prevent me from seeing things I definitely shouldn't have as a child (from when I was about 6 to now when I'm 14). My mother often doesn't bring me out, and I am not allowed to go outside my house without someone being with me. Another problem I have with her is that she will just lock my phone because she wants me to pay attention to her (she constantly insults me and my brother) even when I'd rather be alone. A lot of this, along with other actions has led to multiple mental health problems that I choose to not talk to her about (instead a therapist) and she'll often get a bit mad when I don't tell her what happens in these sessions. All and all id much rather her have monitored what I have watched at a young age rather than how long I spent on electronics, so I wouldn't have had as many problems with my health at 14 years old.
I feel like this parenting style is an extremely slippery slope, I grew up with this mindset, and my mom wouldn’t let me eat until I had finished homework. Not only did it give me an unhealthy relationship with food, but to this day I feel like I need to earn the right to eat, and if I don’t finish work I can’t eat. Even though that is more extreme than what these parents are doing I feel like it has pretty much the same effect of creating unhealthy relationships with things and also can cause the feeling that you aren’t enough worse if you aren’t “earning” things
This ytber is the exact repersentation of "FR+Yappper"She spits facts is wht i love abt her 😆
im a teenager, and i do this for myself. i will go on walks for 1-2 hours at least 3 times a week, or meet up w friends at like malls or playgrounds or anywhere that encourages walking. or with my disorded eating habits, i will try to eat something even if it's small. i see relaxation as a reward of these, not that it is something to be earned, because it is NOT something to be earned, and you should be able to have down time no matter what.
We have got to be our own advocates and best friends to ourselves. We walk these roads amongst ourselves first and foremost.
I hear stories of children 'errupting in anger' when their ipad screen locks, and i just think damn their life must be pretty damn boring without it. Make them play in the yard, buy them some board games, teach them skills like drawing, cooking e.g. and i just think that they wont have such a bad reaction.
As the youngest part of Gen z, my parents would make me clean like crazy. (I was about 10) Not just clean your room, no, it was clean the kitchen, play with the dogs, clean your room, clean the middle room, clean the backyard, and all in one day. I feel like I have to do something like exercise or clean, to earn something in return. And before I had those restrictions, I was just a little kid with an iPad , and access to the internet.
I have never experienced this type of parenting but my cousins have, their mom is very abusive with her power over them. She takes away their phones after minor inconveniences, my cousin said that they only have 4 hrs of screen time IN THE WEEKENDS. They are religious and even against music, not letting them listen to certain artists and mostly listen to Christian music.
My cousin is very miserable there and even sleeps over at my or her friends to escape her parents
My little sister (10yo) outright REFUSES to go on walks, to parks, play outside, etc. And my mum gives in to her so easily so shes become accustomed to just getting infinite screentime and junk food. Its not as simple as 'take them on a walk' if they start complaining after two minutes of walking. And i dont mean just complaining, i mean a straightup tantrum.
7:30 my mom has an app like that on my phone. You can just turn the WiFi off on your phone/iPad and it won’t shut off. You can still play games and shit. Just no WiFi.
I'm a teenager (home schooled), and my parents are rather strict. Most of the time, when I have to earn downtime it is by doing chores, a bit of school, or playing board games; mexican train, chess, uno, risk, ect. (Brain work, before brain rot) I do have issues with my parents, but not on this topic. People who make their kids exercise excessively to have a couple minutes of screen time don't deserve children. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve children.
Ahh get well soon!!
my parents went through a phase where they did this or something similar. i understand now where they were coming from but it was so annoying at the time.
go to bed it’s nearly midnight drama kween
Midnight? Interesting for me it’s now 4 pm
wait r u in aus
@@millsbraindontwork nahh Europa lmao
i can easily do 20 pushups but pullups are impossible dont make the poor kids do any exercise for rest they will hate exercise in the future
Oh lord. I am FOREVER SO GRATEFUL for narrowly, oh so narrowly, avoiding being raised at the age of 6 by rectangular electronic devices with vibrant and colorful dancing pixels made by multibillion dollar conglomerates that use specialized algorithms built to understand what you like and dislike on a personal level in order to give you more of what you want and less of what you hate, becoming more and more addicting the more its used just to grab your attention and monetize it to other corporations.
So lucky I got my first phone at 17. I'm part of the last generation of kids that used to be bored all day at home just waiting for mom to finish cooking so i can eat and go play outside with my friends, doing whatever the fuck, didn't matter because it was always fun with my friends.
I miss those days.
You mentioned it at the end. A father just exercised his child to D-th. Why.
The problem is parents take normal life lessons like “sometimes things have to be done before you can do this thing” that they turn it into extremes like this that cause kids to have very unhealthy relationships with food or exercise or the internet.
When I was younger my mom didn't really have screen time rules (screentime was tv and video games) she gave me all my options and i chose. I played outside just as much as i watched tv. I did sports from preschool up until the 7th grade. Now i have issues but not because of the tv. Like i can set down my phone for hours and not feel like I need to look at a screen every 5 seconds
These influencer moms have no idea that things like tae kwon do, gymnastics, soccer basketball and other teams or like after scgool stuff exist. Thats how I stayed fit as a child, my parents let me go out, I did gymnastics on the side. Eventually I decided to hit the gym myself.
Bonus info: In germany here where I live at least, its forbidden to hit the gym undee the age of 15. Some gyms allow it if someone over 18+ tags along. My gym is super strict on the age rule, I have to wait 2 years to be able to bring my friends to the gym with me without them signing up on the weekends!!
This is honestly so unethical and I feel so bad for the kid.. I exercise for fun.. not as a punishment or to earn things.?
WAIT I SAW MELANIE MARTINEZ ON ONE OF THE KIDS IPADS. IMMEDIATELY VALID. TEACH EM YOUNG✌️
Hi, I think of exercise as a punishment THANKS PARENTS
If you mixed it up a little it could be okay. Yes exercise can be one of the things, but also, read a book, go outside, help with the chores around the house, make some of those things they can do to "earn screentime" things that can be enjoyable, so it's more a way to get them to do other things.
Yall didn’t hear about that dad that forced his son to run on the treadmill for hours and he passed away??? Yeah I can see her wanting her kid to earn screen time but not like this. Finish your home work? 30 min of screen time. Clean your room after I told you the first time? 30 minutes of screen time. Eat all your veggies??? More screen time. I can see this.
Just when I think influencer culture surrounding families couldn’t get any worse, it does. It needs to be stopped
This makes me happy that i read books when i was younger
My dad once said I couldn’t eat because I didn’t eat what my mom made. He thought he made a good point. He also body shames my mom and me!
my mom used to make me exercise to get screen time. i would have to do a 30 min workout for 30 min of screen time. lots of times it would just be a yoga or going outside but once a week i did a video (it was for kids tho)
4:54 "a reward not to be earned". Er?
reward. noun. a thing given in recognition of service effort or achievement.
This take is too extreme the other direction due to personal insecurities. Plenty of pro-gamers include workout time in their day. You can teach a child to do energetic physical activity for 15min before an hour of screen time up to twice per day. That's good parenting.
Giving children rewards they didn't earn (which isn't a reward; it's an indulgent) got us Sephora kids.
So as a kid I don’t think they need to be “exercising”… they need to be PLAYING and having FUN! I play basketball with my son, have high intensity light saber battles, play soccer, swimming, we go for walks together and play at the park! He’s almost 13 so when I workout I’ll offer for him to come if he wants and sometimes he does. But I never make him! He can if he wants. But literally every single day we are active and having fun!
I personally feel it depends from kid too kid, i dont think you can straight up say this is good or bad. I am currently in my teens and i have a brother who will play video games 14 hours a day if he can, to the point where he would rather miss out n family activities than miss a new event in his games (that come like every day), my parents try doing stuff with him, they try going for walks they try playing board games, but video games will always be more important. My brother does really love being around my parents if he feels like it. I feel as tho we are trying what we can. But video games glitch and it ruins his mood for the rest of the day, having unlimited screen time cant be healthy for kids, in the end if he dosent have screen time he won’t spend any time with us, and currently the only interest he’s had for years is video games, so that feels like the only thing we can use to encourage trying new stuff. I agree with you most of the time and I love your videos but I do somewhat disagree here🥲
I remember my mom scolded me as a teen for taking naps during the day.
I understand why she did it, but I still felt like I had to work till I was exhausted and couldn’t move anymore in order to sleep.
That’s not great.