The Language of Friendship: The Role of Talk in an Understudied Relationship

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  • Опубликовано: 9 янв 2025

Комментарии • 3

  • @whoever6458
    @whoever6458 3 года назад +4

    This talk has helped me so much already! I realize that I'm probably seen as incredibly rude in pretty much every situation because I have autism so I literally don't understand the unspoken nuances of conversation. I'm direct and I tell other people of my struggles and tell them to just be direct, even stating that it's less rude to do that since I don't get the other stuff. The thing is that, even with my more direct friends, it turns out that sometimes people communicate indirectly without realizing it. But, hey, at least I have a better idea of what might be going on.
    As far as the guys and sympathy thing, I have always had guy friends and I usually say something like, "That sucks, man," and then ask a question about a much lighter topic and sports is sometimes a good one but sometimes things like work or some funny thing you've seen work too. Just saying it sucks lets them know you care and changing the subject lets them know that it's fine to move one if they want. At some point, if those guys do need to talk about it, they just might talk about it with you. I've sat many a night crying with my best guy friends when they decided they'd talk to me about it. I didn't feel sad for them; I felt sad with them. I don't know if this helps but it's part of the reason why I have a number of very close guy friends.

  • @whoever6458
    @whoever6458 3 года назад +3

    I talk to people with whom I disagree all the time and it's because I'm curious about how they came to believe the things that they believe, not only to better understand them, but to better understand the reasons why I have come to the things I believe. I am curious about humans and I guess that's why I was listening to them. I have lots of close friends with whom I disagree vehemently on a number of issues but we do agree that we like one another as human beings and that's the only way to change anything in this world because you will never simply repress the views you find objectionable or even real injustice done to other people.
    As far as the values part, I get that too and I've listened to a lot of stuff I did honestly find absolutely horrid. The reason was partly because I am really curious about how people come to ideas and the value that comes before all other values when interacting with other humans is that I value them first as a human before I've had any disagreement with them at all. It's hard to be human.

  • @КюшаДаль
    @КюшаДаль Год назад

    Thank you so much!