This is called narcissistic abuse. These wives were married to someone who either had narcissistic personality disorder or strong traits of that disorder.
Excellent interview. Vikki Stark's book Runaway Husbands is a must read if this happens to you. If you are an abandoned wife only others who have been through this can truly understand the trauma this causes. Her books will surely help.
same thing my husband would always leave every time we had a disagreement then come back in the middle of the night ,then it turned into days meanwhile when he wasn't home he would do stealing for an addiction. So one weekend he left I got a call on Monday that he was picked up by police so he told me to come get bank cards and house keys and his cell with his book bag of runaway items. So I go to pick the items up and he took them to the jail and left me with a book bag that tells the story of i was leaving and never coming back. He wont sign the paper work so i can pick up the bank cards or house keys and cell phone .So now I am stuck with nothing i relied on him for support while nursing our baby and two other smaller children what do i do my email is connorchristia@gmail.com
Nicola Tomlin my first ex-husband did the same thing, after I told him I was 6wks pregnant. more than hell broke loose, I almost did. well that was 1983. I have forgiven him for the wonderful pain I felt, but I don't think I will forget. and I have forgiven myself for being stupid and stupid, yes I said stupid twice.
I wanted to talk to people about what my ex did to me, but nobody wanted to hear me. so when I run into any person who remembers me and I know them, I am reminded of how they treated me yrs and yrs ago. I help them the way they helped me.
My husband of 12 yrs up n left his whole life out of nowhere over a year ago. He served me divorce papers on my birthday! Wtf! He hasn't seen his kid since! He hasn't tried. He's losing in court so he just ignores the judges rulings and his own lawyer lol! He hasn't paid anything. And he's mad at ME. I don't know this person. I feel bad for my child. He loses any way u slice it.
Kitt3n Cake I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m struggling to control my anger. I worry about my 2 year old son. How will this affect him? Sometimes these men only think of themselves. They don’t even care about the wellbeing of their families. Yet, I’m supposed to co parent with someone that doesn’t really care about him anymore anyways.
This happening to me and my children he’s been leaving ten years but I’ve been married twenty years. He started to leave once he got his UK status.. He made my children so emotionally broken I’m trying to hold everything together
I can not find any resources where I live,no attorney, no counselor..packing a foreclosing house, come on..............where are these resources ? She is out on the road, she makes her own money, independent.....what about homemakers without money ?
This is happening to me right now. My husband of 22 years just packed his bags and left last night. He has been emotional withdrawn for a long time. Says he had been unhappy for 3 years. Wants the divorce ASAP. He’s already rented an apartment I’m left with house and 2 teenagers I’m devastated
Merlene Shaw my God this is me right now!!! 25 years and he just left all behind. Didn’t care that I’d be homeless and all the debt and bills!! The shock and pain
I’m sorry but there aren’t any perks to being married anymore. I feel like we have to be husbands and not MEN. Sometimes I feel like just leaving myself. M/47
Oh my gosh, its like someone has been watching my life...I hadn't heard of other women having this happen. Divorce, yes, but the absolute sudden revelation of his change from a Christian gym owner, who had been an associate pastor and we counseled other people in marriage. He absolutely disappeared, instantly, from the man I had always known, 24 years of marriage, and he gives no reason except that he doesn't love me and doesn't think he ever did. He was in his mid 50's, and started off with a 19 yr old girl that he was 'coaching' in body-building, then a 21 yr old girl.... the exact ages of a couple of our children... now a woman in her early 30's and he is 57. As for finances, I was a stay-home mom, and am disabled (although not changed physically, and its not progressive) but I am unable to work a regular schedule. His abandonment has left me destitute. I do not even recognize the person he has become. He always told me I was the only woman in the world. I was his "fantasy." Then, there were a couple of small lies I caught him in that made no sense to lie about (stopping by a store on the way home..??) But when it all came down, I really thought it was a mid-life crisis and he would return to his beliefs, children and me. He stopped paying spousal support a year ago... He was the "Golden Boy"...could do no wrong and always went out if his way to be helpful and kind to others. Now, he is still revered in the gym...his body has transformed into a hulking steroid muscle blob. People still call him a "good guy", but he destroyed a beautiful family. I scrapbooked over a dozen books of the joy in our lives...his betrayal makes it seem like none of our lives was real. I know this is long, but I just have never heard of this happening to other women. Your explanations make so much sense, Vikki. Thank you.
My husband [ 33 years ] in the middle of our home foreclosing because he refused to sell it, or deal with anything on it, foreclosure and sale set for May 1, 2019..he and I are 66, I had a bankruptcy set for May 7th, finding out he did not do his taxes for 10 years, had two judgments, etc. He did not say anything, went into a manic stage, literally WALKED out, he does not drive......his enabling friend and his wife harbored him for almost two weeks even changing his pharmacy since it called our house he told his doctor we forced him out, told his friend our son hit him and he had to leave { seriously ?] he tossed a cup of coffee at our son and ran him out of the house for 4 days raging. These flying monkeys knowing me for 20 years did not even call me, and took him to the airport, he is with his youngest brother in Victoria, TX he has not seen for more then 30 years. He called all of our utilities, to turn them off, he stopped the mortgage in April and I was also ready for surgery with my spine after a bad fall, I can hardly walk anymore and can not pack a house, and pay for people to help me move before they take my home, the bankruptcy will be cancelled now due to what he did YES A COMPLETE COWARD............SO ARE THESE ENABLING PEOPLE MAY 4TH, 2019
My husband left me twice. First for week once there was a new girl just started relationship. He came back once lost job. Secondly 2 weeks back for young unmarried girl. In 13 years married with 5 years daughter. Don't know what will happen next?
In a liberal leaning society its practically acceptable for a man or woman to walk away with out notice and never contact them again(which is good in many cases).Syndrome does not exist its made up in my opinion.Its not a crime to abandon another person and many consider marriage a form of slavery etc plus most states have no fault divorces.I believe our liberal culture encourages this and even legalizes it.
Wth!!! That’s bull for sure especially when there are kids that mentality is just a cop out and brings instability and poverty also mental issues in those children that possibly hand down to society to act out the issues that was never resolved from the person that walks out. It just becomes a cycle of the abuses we see today and that’s how most end up on snapped. Js
This isn’t political and it’s your opinion. But since you believe it to be so, research the facts. More “Right Leaning” men abruptly leave their wives. please don’t reply unless you’ve done the research.
It's better than the alternative which is holding people captive in marriages, and there are financial and social consequences for divorce, even though it is legal
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It doesn't make me feel better because it wasn't about another woman. He left because he wanted to be free from all responsibility.
This is called narcissistic abuse. These wives were married to someone who either had narcissistic personality disorder or strong traits of that disorder.
You're projecting.
agree
Excellent interview. Vikki Stark's book Runaway Husbands is a must read if this happens to you. If you are an abandoned wife only others who have been through this can truly understand the trauma this causes. Her books will surely help.
listening to this you tube talk really helped. I am a abandoned wife, my husband disappeared without warning, i need to heal
Dear Nicola, so sorry to hear that. Please visit us at divorceandyourmoney.com if we can be of further assistance.
same thing my husband would always leave every time we had a disagreement then come back in the middle of the night ,then it turned into days meanwhile when he wasn't home he would do stealing for an addiction. So one weekend he left I got a call on Monday that he was picked up by police so he told me to come get bank cards and house keys and his cell with his book bag of runaway items. So I go to pick the items up and he took them to the jail and left me with a book bag that tells the story of i was leaving and never coming back. He wont sign the paper work so i can pick up the bank cards or house keys and cell phone .So now I am stuck with nothing i relied on him for support while nursing our baby and two other smaller children what do i do my email is connorchristia@gmail.com
My husband left a week before our baby due date.
This is so on point, this is what happened to me after 30yrs of marriage and he moved in with the girlfriend he hid for two years.
Nicola Tomlin my first ex-husband did the same thing, after I told him I was 6wks pregnant. more than hell broke loose, I almost did. well that was 1983. I have forgiven him for the wonderful pain I felt, but I don't think I will forget. and I have forgiven myself for being stupid and stupid, yes I said stupid twice.
I wanted to talk to people about what my ex did to me, but nobody wanted to hear me. so when I run into any person who remembers me and I know them, I am reminded of how they treated me yrs and yrs ago. I help them the way they helped me.
My husband of 12 yrs up n left his whole life out of nowhere over a year ago. He served me divorce papers on my birthday! Wtf! He hasn't seen his kid since! He hasn't tried. He's losing in court so he just ignores the judges rulings and his own lawyer lol! He hasn't paid anything. And he's mad at ME. I don't know this person. I feel bad for my child. He loses any way u slice it.
Kitt3n Cake I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m struggling to control my anger. I worry about my 2 year old son. How will this affect him? Sometimes these men only think of themselves. They don’t even care about the wellbeing of their families. Yet, I’m supposed to co parent with someone that doesn’t really care about him anymore anyways.
This happening to me and my children he’s been leaving ten years but I’ve been married twenty years. He started to leave once he got his UK status.. He made my children so emotionally broken I’m trying to hold everything together
I can not find any resources where I live,no attorney, no counselor..packing a foreclosing house, come on..............where are these resources ? She is out on the road, she makes her own money, independent.....what about homemakers without money ?
This is happening to me right now. My husband of 22 years just packed his bags and left last night. He has been emotional withdrawn for a long time. Says he had been unhappy for 3 years. Wants the divorce ASAP. He’s already rented an apartment
I’m left with house and 2 teenagers
I’m devastated
I'm going through this now, exactly the same expect he left me with a 1yr old.....stay strong and positive.
Was there another woman?
Merlene Shaw my God this is me right now!!! 25 years and he just left all behind. Didn’t care that I’d be homeless and all the debt and bills!! The shock and pain
I’m sorry but there aren’t any perks to being married anymore. I feel like we have to be husbands and not MEN. Sometimes I feel like just leaving myself.
M/47
Oh my gosh, its like someone has been watching my life...I hadn't heard of other women having this happen. Divorce, yes, but the absolute sudden revelation of his change from a Christian gym owner, who had been an associate pastor and we counseled other people in marriage. He absolutely disappeared, instantly, from the man I had always known, 24 years of marriage, and he gives no reason except that he doesn't love me and doesn't think he ever did. He was in his mid 50's, and started off with a 19 yr old girl that he was 'coaching' in body-building, then a 21 yr old girl.... the exact ages of a couple of our children... now a woman in her early 30's and he is 57. As for finances, I was a stay-home mom, and am disabled (although not changed physically, and its not progressive) but I am unable to work a regular schedule. His abandonment has left me destitute. I do not even recognize the person he has become. He always told me I was the only woman in the world. I was his "fantasy." Then, there were a couple of small lies I caught him in that made no sense to lie about (stopping by a store on the way home..??) But when it all came down, I really thought it was a mid-life crisis and he would return to his beliefs, children and me. He stopped paying spousal support a year ago... He was the "Golden Boy"...could do no wrong and always went out if his way to be helpful and kind to others. Now, he is still revered in the gym...his body has transformed into a hulking steroid muscle blob. People still call him a "good guy", but he destroyed a beautiful family. I scrapbooked over a dozen books of the joy in our lives...his betrayal makes it seem like none of our lives was real. I know this is long, but I just have never heard of this happening to other women. Your explanations make so much sense, Vikki. Thank you.
Wow!
They really are pathetic fools.
Thank you for making this podcast, it just helped me make a lot more sense out of what's happening to me.
My husband [ 33 years ] in the middle of our home foreclosing because he refused to sell it, or deal with anything on it, foreclosure and sale set for May 1, 2019..he and I are 66, I had a bankruptcy set for May 7th, finding out he did not do his taxes for 10 years, had two judgments, etc. He did not say anything, went into a manic stage, literally WALKED out, he does not drive......his enabling friend and his wife harbored him for almost two weeks even changing his pharmacy since it called our house he told his doctor we forced him out, told his friend our son hit him and he had to leave { seriously ?] he tossed a cup of coffee at our son and ran him out of the house for 4 days raging. These flying monkeys knowing me for 20 years did not even call me, and took him to the airport, he is with his youngest brother in Victoria, TX he has not seen for more then 30 years. He called all of our utilities, to turn them off, he stopped the mortgage in April and I was also ready for surgery with my spine after a bad fall, I can hardly walk anymore and can not pack a house, and pay for people to help me move before they take my home, the bankruptcy will be cancelled now due to what he did YES A COMPLETE COWARD............SO ARE THESE ENABLING PEOPLE MAY 4TH, 2019
Alex nonameish I’m with you after 25 years he walked out on me
Married for 12 years this video discribes my ex husband to a T (currently going through this so I’m glad I found this video)
Should have interviewed the men...
exactly, she would have found out the true reasons why men go MGTOW. Having a side chick is the least of this.
No you can’t interview the guys they are like walls!
I'm sure they have amazing reasons for cheating
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My husband left me so many times and I keep taking him back which is sad
Thanks God Dr ojiezele I really appreciate you,him help me get my ex back contact him now+2348064539246♥️♥️
I'm with you!! 19 years
My husband left me twice. First for week once there was a new girl just started relationship. He came back once lost job. Secondly 2 weeks back for young unmarried girl. In 13 years married with 5 years daughter. Don't know what will happen next?
They have been staching Money for Years
Mine abandoned me
Zero or less than zero empathy for the men's suffering.
In a liberal leaning society its practically acceptable for a man or woman to walk away with out notice and never contact them again(which is good in many cases).Syndrome does not exist its made up in my opinion.Its not a crime to abandon another person and many consider marriage a form of slavery etc plus most states have no fault divorces.I believe our liberal culture encourages this and even legalizes it.
Wth!!! That’s bull for sure especially when there are kids that mentality is just a cop out and brings instability and poverty also mental issues in those children that possibly hand down to society to act out the issues that was never resolved from the person that walks out. It just becomes a cycle of the abuses we see today and that’s how most end up on snapped. Js
This isn’t political and it’s your opinion. But since you believe it to be so, research the facts. More “Right Leaning” men abruptly leave their wives. please don’t reply unless you’ve done the research.
It's better than the alternative which is holding people captive in marriages, and there are financial and social consequences for divorce, even though it is legal
She's bitter.
Has every right to be
@unomasdelpatriarcado