Why You Can Not Pee In Public And How To Fix It! - Doctor Explains
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
- Sometimes you might find it almost impossible to pee at a public toilet. This is when Shy Bladder Syndrome kicks in. If you do ever experienced this, than know you are not alone. It is a very common social phobia and it is the focus of today’s video. We will cover what it is, what symptoms it causes and how to fix it.
This video is part of a videoseries on sex and urinal tract related medical problem. Find the playlists here: • Sex Related Medical Pr...
The urinary tract
It includes your kidneys, your bladder, your ureters and your urethra. In essence the urge to pee comes from the bladder. As it fills more and more with urine, it will expand, ultimately triggering nerve endings in the bladder to send a message to your brain. You need to pee.
Shy bladder syndrome
You will find it difficult or even impossible to urine when other people are around. Other terms for this condition are; paruresis, bashful bladder syndrome or pee phobia.
It is a type of social phobia. People with this condition are physically able to pee, but their anxiety prevents them from being able to go in certain situations or places. This often includes public restrooms or someone else’s bathroom. This anxiety causes the sphincters in the bladder and urethra to tighten. The severity of shy bladder syndrome can be classified as mild, moderate or severe.
- In mild cases it may happen on occasional events, much like a form of performance anxiety. Someone goes to a public urinal and may find himself unable to urinate when he is flanked by other men.
- In severe cases someone; may need complete privacy when going to the toilet, may only be able to pee at home, may not be able to pee when guests are present, may feel anxious about needing to urinate, may restrict drinking to reduce the need for urination, may avoid social events or traveling and may criticize him/herself for not being able to pee.
Tips and tricks
It all starts with a healthy base level. If you are in the best shape possible, physically as well as mentally, this helps you to cope with everything life throws at you.
- Your doctor might also share some specific advise aimed at coping with shy bladder syndrome. One of the most important things to do, is to keep practicing. So you could make a list where you rank urination locations from easiest to most difficult. The idea is, to start peeing at the easiest locations and work your way up.
- It could also be helpful to meditate or do breathing exercises. This could help you to control your anxiety and relax your urinary tract.
- It is also important to avoid negative self-talk and take it slowly. Don’t pressure yourself too much. It usually takes 12 sessions to see considerable improvement. And remember Shy bladder syndrome is a common phobia, you are not abnormal.
Treatment options
- First of all, cognitive behavioural therapy. This treatment can help you to change your behaviors, by changing the way you think and behave.
- An other option could be graduated exposure therapy. Here a therapist helps you to practice peeing in a controlled environment. Over several sessions a week your gradually increase your exposure to difficult urination locations.
- Other useful therapies could be hypnotherapy and psychotherapy. In addition your doctor might also recommend medication, which might lower anxiety complaints.
- Lastly, in the period you are working on this fear, but still are not able to pee outside your house, your doctor might recommend self-catheterization. Which is a tube that can be entered through the urethra to the bladder to empty the bladder when you are away from home. This is not a permanent solution, but it can enable you to keep living the life you want to life.
- Disclaimer: this video and the comments are meant purely informational! This is not medical advice! If you are looking for medical advice always contact your own doctor. -
I want to give special thanks to my sponsors on Patreon:
- Sebastian Houwing: Investor
Literature:
1: KidsHealth. (2022). Your Urinary System. KidsHealth.
2: Cleveland Clinic medical professional. (2021). Shy Bladder Syndrome (Paruresis). Cleveland Clinic.
3: Better Health Channel. (2020). Shy bladder syndrome. Better Health Channel.
* The images in this video are used for educational purposes only. Most of the images and video material in this video come from www.canva.com/.
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For me it’s so bad that I can’t even use private bathrooms if they are in public. I know it’s in my head and not a different issue because it’s always worse when I’m scared and it’s fine at home. Luckily it’s gradually getting better, especially when I imagine I’m at home it becomes easier.
Same your not alone I absolutely hate it
@@alius2sheistyit’s so frustrating cause sometimes your about to pee but then you hear footsteps or something and then it just all locks up
I am the same. I have difficulty peeing if I know someone is waiting outside the door 😢
I have struggled with this my entire life. It was even worse when I was younger. as I have gotten older, if I'm lucky enough to have a bathroom that has a stall I can actually sit down on the commode and with a lot of concentration pee. For some reason there are a lot of components but if I think a person doesn't hear me pee it makes a little bit easier.
@@rickECU lately I’ve noticed that for me it’s when I can hear other people moving / just doing anything makes it worse
I had this for a very long time when i was younger.
For me the breakthrough that solved everything were 3-4 events, where the people in the bathroom were so careless that it came through to me.
Some guy farting while peeing and 'moaning'... etc.
Why should i care if nobody else does?
It still comes back very very rarely, my thought to combat is always thinking back to these people not giving a damn, it makes it mundane.
I hope u all find ur own way to solve it. Nonne around u cares, and u shouldnt either. Its the most normal thing to do.
I care if someone farts and moans, it ridiculous when people do that
I cannot pee under stress. I did not know it was common. Thank you doctor
I’ve been struggling with severe shy bladder syndrome for as long as I can remember. It’s a difficult thing to go through. Trust me. If you’re going through it, you’re not alone.
I have been in my personal bathroom for hours on end trying to block out the noise. For me, the main things that trigger my shy bathroom response (including no. 2) while in the bathroom are:
- If I know people can hear me.
- If I can hear people at all.
- If I’m being waited on.
- If I make unnatural noises that can be heard by others (meaning the noise has been made by me or an action I did. If the item naturally can exist or makes the noise without alerting the people around, it works.)
To counter this, I’ve found that:
- Distracting myself with a device and headphones (I often fear the judgement that may come with this one in public bathrooms. I’m an introvert and don’t want to explain to a stranger that I’m watching things on a device to go to the bathroom, not to do anything inappropriate.)
- A strong lock on the door (this is a need. Can’t even go without it.)
- Turning on a loud fan (This is a high want. I usually use a combination of this and the above two in my daily life. If it’s not loud, it doesn’t work.)
- A suite with two doors from the outside; both with locks.
- Arming myself with something I can throw (but won’t) at the people who come through the door.
All are decent ways to help go to the bathroom in my case. Some days, I can’t even go no matter what I do. It really depends on the day.
When traveling, I prefer individual bathrooms because it makes going so much easier. Public bathrooms are impossible with some rarest of rare occasions. However, there are specific cases that can to be met for this to work out:
- the door needs to swing inwards so that I can place a physical block between me and the outside world.
- the main triggers apply here.
- it has to smell nice (otherwise I know a stranger has been in there)
- Most of the same distractions apply here as well.
Anyway, it’s an absolute pain to deal with this problem every day. My record time of not being able to go at all is 30 hours. That was terrible. Let’s just say I hate long trips. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had to resort to taking laxatives about every three months to have no problem of going.
I’ve gone to the doctor multiple times because of it. They’ve told me that it’s nothing too serious. However, I disagree. The most a doctor gave me was a muscle relaxant to potentially help go to the bathroom (which it didn’t). Laxatives work, but they take a huge toll on me.
I honestly know no one else with this issue except for my grandma and even then it’s hard to relate. I’m glad I’m not the only one, but it’s intense man. I feel for each and every one of you who has to deal with this problem.
i got this shit because some stupid little bully started pushing and critizaing me when i was younger , like 9-10 years old in school
Drugs test and I can’t pee 😑why can’t I just pee like everyone else?
I've had this problem for most of my life. At times it was so difficult that I could not go for days. I travelled for business in my 40s and found that I would have far less problems in a public restroom with other people present if I could use a stall and just sit and concentrate on anything else. I still occasionally have a problem but it is much easier than it was.
Next spring we are going to Europe and of course, my anxiety is heightened as I am fairly confident in finding restrooms in the US and know what to expect and feel "safe" in them, I'm not sure about what I will find in Europe and how I can cope. I don't want to think about problems that might ruin the trip.
@@Rockinbiker1946 Firstly, I would just like to let you all know that you are not alone in this and there is help out there, don’t give up!😊
This technique will help you if you give it some time and patience.
When we hold our breath, we starve our bodies of oxygen. To stay alive, our bodies start pulling oxygen away from our extremities and into our vital organs and this is why the breath hold technique is so effective, as it takes oxygen away from the urethral Sphincter (Muscle that holds your urine in), enabling you to void. It basically takes the muscles power away.
For me, I sit down (most effective), take three slow deep breaths and on the third inhale begin slowly releasing until I have exhaled about a ¾ of my lungs and hold. You will begin having contractions in your stomach after about a minute, or less. Ride these contractions out, swallowing helps, stay with it, try to find some peace in it knowing it will help you😊 after a little while longer you will start to void some urine, but don’t give up yet, keep holding your breath until it fully opens or your sphincter will close up on you😊 You will find a way that works for you, but that is what helped me start going outside of the house and eventually into more social environments. Now, I work around people full time, I may not be completely healed but atleast I can get out and live a semi normal life now. All the best with it guys and remember, gradual exposure to this condition is the most effective solution. I recommend reading the ‘Secret Social phobia’ great book, lots of good information.
I remember being 8 years old on a road trip from NY to Maine. I woke up in the night while traveling, asked to use the McDonald's rest stop bathroom. I went inside alone, and was met with atleast 15 grown men using or waiting for the urinals. I immediately felt panic, attempted to use the short urinal, felt nervous because everyone was towering over me.
I got back in the car without peeing, said nothing and my parents drove off. Moments later i told them i needed to go still. My alcoholic mother started screaming at me "Why didnt you go!" ans i started crying. My father pulled to the shoulder of the highway, and i stood at the foot of the woods, finally going.
That was 23 years ago, and that nervousness to pee next or near someone has only gotten worse. On flights i wont drink liquids in fear ill be in pain holding in my urine. When i try and relieve myself i become red in the face with frustration and nervousness. Its a nightmare.
If anyone has any tips or tricks that worked for them, let me and all the guys here know what worked for you. To know im not alone is comforting and boost my confidence that they're might be solutions. Thanks for reading my story ✌️
Same with me..😢
Try “hold your breath” technique. Exhale all the air from your lungs and do not start breathing until you start peeing. When there is no air in your lungs your brain stops thinking about such things as your inner psychological worries and therefore you start peeing whether you want it or don’t want it. For me it works 99% of the times. Try it. Google for some detailed information, the technique helps many people a lot.
It’s such an annoying problem to have. Oddly I could defecate in front of thousands no problem but urinating everything just shuts down.
I could be standing at a urinal, about to piss my pants, just about to go when I’ll hear that bathroom door open and immediately everything tightens up. I end up having to do the really infuriating “fake shake” and leave the bathroom. Sometimes it’s painful and I’ll have to try again. The cubicle is my saving grace most of the time. But even that I’m at best producing a drip at times. And don’t even get me started if the lock on the door is broken.
Same man
Same for me too. To make it worse, last week when i am at immigration checkpoint, the officer want me to provide them the urine sample for drug test, and he want me to pee at urinal in front of him, makes me so unconfortable, he not allow me to use the cubicle also because he want to see it. I know my urine will be clear, bcos im not using drug however i cannot provide even 1 drop to them. I offer them to take my blood to test but they don't have that. Terrible.
@Awier that sounds horrendous! I can’t imagine how you felt then. I would have probably said to the immigration officer “I’ll try but I think you’re going to be waiting there for a few hours”.
I’ve tried the “peeing partner” as of watching this video but I felt real uncomfortable with my wife staring at me. I sacked it off in the end. Instead all I try to do now is to make as much urinating noise in the toilet as possible when in cubicles instead of trying to piss at the side of the toilet bowl.
@@awier9654 you can get a note from your doctor so that they will administer an oral swab.
Firstly, I would just like to let you all know that you are not alone in this and there is help out there, don’t give up!😊
This technique will help you if you give it some time and patience.
When we hold our breath, we starve our bodies of oxygen. To stay alive, our bodies start pulling oxygen away from our extremities and into our vital organs and this is why the breath hold technique is so effective, as it takes oxygen away from the urethral Sphincter (Muscle that holds your urine in), enabling you to void. It basically takes the muscles power away.
For me, I sit down (most effective), take three slow deep breaths and on the third inhale begin slowly releasing until I have exhaled about a ¾ of my lungs and hold. You will begin having contractions in your stomach after about a minute, or less. Ride these contractions out, swallowing helps, stay with it, try to find some peace in it knowing it will help you😊 after a little while longer you will start to void some urine, but don’t give up yet, keep holding your breath until it fully opens or your sphincter will close up on you😊 You will find a way that works for you, but that is what helped me start going outside of the house and eventually into more social environments. Now, I work around people full time, I may not be completely healed but atleast I can get out and live a semi normal life now. All the best with it guys and remember, gradual exposure to this condition is the most effective solution. I recommend reading the ‘Secret Social phobia’ great book, lots of good information.
We need medicine for this problem
we also just need restrooms for this issue as well
I have this problem so badly, I was fired from my job because I couldn’t pee for my dot drug test and it was considered a refusal! I tried over and over and couldn’t go continued to drink water and got to a point I needed to go so bad but couldn’t at the drug test place I left from the Anxiety and peed fine. Now I’m still battling to get my cdl back
One helpful think I discovered that is effective is to hold your breath while in the bathroom doing your thing, hold your breath ‘till it goes beyond your comfort zone, then release.
Not a good method. I've been suffering from paruresis myself for over 22 years. It all started with... Today I'm 38. And I often got cardiac arrhythmias with this method. And exhaling after the effort didn't exactly make me quieter either. But I can only speak for myself, and I still hope that it can help someone. Much luck.
Ok, then I’ll use this method only in an emergency situation. No other methods are that as effective as this to me. I’m not sure if any of the methods will ever work but that won’t stop me from trying, I already gave up a couple times, I’m not gonna give up a 3rd time.
@@FroggyFroggerAllesRogerI find slowly pushing in on the lower abdomen helps make it easier
My husband has this problem and it runs our life. It’s horrible and causes suicidal ideations. He’s tried hypnosis. He had everything checked with a urologist and physiologically he’s okay. It’s definitely a psychological issue but he’s dealt with it most of his life and we can’t travel due to this. My heart breaks for him and of course everyone thinks we don’t like to travel.
Let him know he’s not alone. I feel like it runs my life too sometimes. And many other do to.
@@Kahzula Where are you supposed to pee? It literally dictates where you go. It fucking sucks man
Who cares what anyone thinks about your travel habits?
Has he tried the breath hold technique?? Changed my life, I can now travel ect.
@@darbyhampson2160explain more?
I have found over the years that it helps a lot to open up about this with family and friends!
I didn't find any help with that.
@@williambrewer
@darbyhampson2160
21 hours ago
This technique will help you if you give it some time and patience.
When we hold our breath, we starve our bodies of oxygen. To stay alive, our bodies start pulling oxygen away from our extremities and into our vital organs and this is why the breath hold technique is so effective, as it takes oxygen away from the urethral Sphincter (Muscle that holds your urine in), enabling you to void. It basically takes the muscles power away.
For me, I sit down (most effective), take three slow deep breaths and on the third inhale begin slowly releasing until I have exhaled about a ¾ of my lungs and hold. You will begin having contractions in your stomach after about a minute, or less. Ride these contractions out, swallowing helps, stay with it, try to find some peace in it knowing it will help you😊 after a little while longer you will start to void some urine, but don’t give up yet, keep holding your breath until it fully opens or your sphincter will close up on you😊 You will find a way that works for you, but that is what helped me start going outside of the house and eventually into more social environments. Now, I work around people full time, I may not be completely healed but atleast I can get out and live a semi normal life now. All the best with it guys and remember, gradual exposure to this condition is the most effective solution. I recommend reading the ‘Secret Social phobia’ great book, lots of good information.
How do you suggest to fix going to the bathroom regularly if you have lupus nephritis
I used to be able to pee in public no problem until one day in middle school some kid kicked me in the leg and spooked me and ever since I have had this issue.
I had an op for Testicular torsion at 15 my mum told my best mates mum and it got round school thru his younger brother who was with his mum at the time. A lad bent down to see if he could see anything while i was peeing, i had a special support on for 2 weeks ive had this issue for 45 years now its totaly recked my life covid made it worse ive tryed most of the above tho ive an idea how to reduce this im going to buy a small campervan soon my own personal toilet ill start off in the middle of nowere and make my way into a busy area stage 1
Same for me.. it is because my friend use to kick us in fun.. since then it develop inside me.
I just got jury duty notice and I’m freaking out! I don’t know if they will accept my Dr note
I used to be able to in public no problem…. Until one day while I was using the urinal, I let a massive fart slip and nearly shit myself. The fart was so loud that the other people in the bathroom started laughing at it. Ever since, I haven’t been able to pee with ppl in the room
Same but no fart. I was just using a urinal once and I just all of the sudden couldn’t pee. I’ve never been able to go in public ever again, but at home is fine.
Okay but that's a hilarious villian origin story
@@AgxntOrange lmso
@@memefountain1807 same thing with me bro. like idfk what the hell happened
WTF🤣
This sounds workable. To enhance your bladder and feel like you're in relief-nirvana, you go’ogle Beck Reznarks Bladder guide. Imagine having the capacity to go, anywhere you want to, imagine the freedom and things you would do differently then!
So I have been troubling with this for over decade now and my new job that pays well required a drug test to be done for continuous employment, I went to do the test but couldn't urine due to being uncomfortable since the doctor was behind me, I spent over 5 hours at the facility and made 5 attempts but just couldn't urine with the doctors being there, I went back today and my first attempt I still couldn't, after explaining to my boss my situation he accused me of using drugs so my job was on the line at that point. I drank two 50 Oz bottle water then went again for the second attempt and succeed after standing about 8mins just trying to blank out the doctor being behind, i felt so relief after filling the container I even asked the doc if that's enough lol,
It really is unfair to assume drugs. You couldn't ask the employer for alternative method to essentially prove your "innocence" (under the contingency you would pay for the test if positive)? I struggle with this too, drug tests are the WORST! Here it is 2023 and we're still testing urine like back in the 70's? Ridiculous! Something needs to change.
Almost seems like that would be a potential lawsuit
been there man
I was in rehab when I was 26, and once a week someone had to stand behind me in the bathroom as I pee'd into a cup. it used to take my over an hour and multiple tries to do it. Headphones really loud eventually worked, but never without going back again and again, drinking more water until it hurt. After 6 months, the councilors stopped standing in the bathroom with me, they just handed me a cup and said go 😅
This is taking over my life! I’m about to lose another job because of this if I don’t find a fix soon!
I can’t pee around other people AT ALL! Not even at my own house if I hear people behind the door. Even if the door is locked. Just thinking about it makes it impossible for me. It’s so hard to pee I have to strain to the point of bleeding! Even with a full bladder! And I constantly feel like I have to go to the bathroom even after finishing. Squatting with a cup is my only refuge outside my house and I can’t just carry cups everywhere. I had to leave work in the middle of the day and I just got out of the hospital for this. I was hoping they’d use a catheter. I got no answers they told me everything was normal even seeing the blood. Please help me I’m so depressed
I’m at a sober living house for past drug use and I have to do a drug test once a week. At first it was nearly impossible to go. I know when you’re doing it for drug court they actually watch you…as in look at your junk while you’re trying to go. So this is a lesson…Don’t do drugs! I find it’s gotten easier over time. Last time I held up a paper that had therapy info about staying sober. As I was reading it I became relaxed and started peeing
Los que tenemos este problema necesitamos curarnos porque complica gravemente nuestras vidas. Necesitamos que alguien, ya sea un científico, un médico, un psicólogo... una persona de la profesión que sea que invente una cura para este problema para que luego podamos hacer una vida normal. Ayuda por favor.
I have been suffering this for very long but since 4days im facing more problem like when i go to the home toilet i try to calm myself with th gestures🤫 and all. I don't know what's happening but i am feeling very irritated because of that
Sacral nerve stimulation with a pacemaker for bowel and urinary problems. Did anyone ever try this?
Way too much talking, not enough information.
Difficulty urinating when going to an unfamiliar place
I have prostate issue as well. Is this really mind related issue? Please advise
Im just aftaid of legal consequences tbh
Who else got this because someone commented on their stream
I'm Brazilian and here there's no research about this problem. I suffer a lot. My only wish is to die. This problem destroys my life. It's hell on Earth! I don't know what to do.
Me too my friend! I cry for your situation. You and I are in this together as one even if we never meet. Just know someone in America is thinking of you and suffering the same problem. I pray you and I both find a fix. We’ll see the light one day friend. Do not let this issue beat you!
Hey mate,
This technique will help you if you give it some time and patience.
When we hold our breath, we starve our bodies of oxygen. To stay alive, our bodies start pulling oxygen away from our extremities and into our vital organs and this is why the breath hold technique is so effective, as it takes oxygen away from the urethral Sphincter (Muscle that holds your urine in), enabling you to void. It basically takes the muscles power away.
For me, I sit down (most effective), take three slow deep breaths and on the third inhale begin slowly releasing until I have exhaled about a ¾ of my lungs and hold. You will begin having contractions in your stomach after about a minute, or less. Ride these contractions out, swallowing helps, stay with it, try to find some peace in it knowing it will help you😊 after a little while longer you will start to void some urine, but don’t give up yet, keep holding your breath until it fully opens or your sphincter will close up on you😊 You will find a way that works for you, but that is what helped me start going outside of the house and eventually into more social environments. Now, I work around people full time, I may not be completely healed but atleast I can get out and live a semi normal life now. All the best with it guys and remember, gradual exposure to this condition is the most effective solution. I recommend reading the ‘Secret Social phobia’ great book, lots of good information.
@@darbyhampson2160 same problem bro😢
I still cant poop in public thats for sure
Sir i cannot pee in a public toilet since 7 yrs. What should i do??
Same
Same
same. It's a nightmare
Started when I was 15….. it’s horrible. So frustrating
What is the cure for small bladder? Over active bladder? Thanks 🙏
Hi Shad,
This depends on the underlying medical problem. Therefore it is best to discuss this question with your personal doctor.
@@howtomedicate DOCTOR HAVE TOLD ME TO DO BOTOX INJECTIONS EVERY SIX MONTHS WHICH WILL CAUSE URINARY TRACT INFECTION AND I AM ALREADY HAVING URINARY TRACT INFECTION BECAUSE I AM TAKING MYRBETRIQ 50 mg.
Go to a urologist I had bladder issues going too many times at night
I'm a doctor, and the best medical advice I can give you talk to your doctor. If only bathrooms played loud heavy metal we would not have this problem! Lol.
@@rickdeckardbladerunner2049 I don’t understand you. Thanks 🙏
The best way to fix this problem get artificial urinary spincheter
is that work
@@DR.AkhilPant I think that's the only way because shy bladder is phobia and it's very hard to overcome,
does it work ?i have been suffering from this problem for many years
@@gyanurana1984 My sphincter is very tight Know I Have issue of dysfunctional voiding cant pee properly I have to insert cathether
Sir this is a big problem for me i can't pee for drug test if have observe me to get urine.
Lol this is my issue rn
Same. CO watching my thang in a mirror when I'm trying to pee is ridiculous lol I've just started and only gone in once and dribbled. It sucks because if I can't pee I go to jail
❤️❤️
🔥👍🏻
Its sooo annoying
Please help me I am sri lankan
And what's up with people not knocking? Sure.. just barge in why don't ya.
Its a weird one haha literally at the end but doesnt come out
We need madicine
🤣🤣i thought it was jst me man 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is you are Instagram doctor?
@howtomedicate ❤️