I had an experience similar to ego death while on acid, I was smoking and accidentally greened out and almost blacked out. My friends faces started glitching and I couldn’t recognize them. I couldn’t remember my name and began to panic. My “self” was pulled out of my head and sat about 2 feet above me but I could feel the environment (closed eye visuals) . There was a small child in my hands balled up and crying. I immediately knew it was me, but who I used to be. Gentle and emotional. I started silently crying (I hadn’t cried in 2 years) and lowered my head into my arms. I was cold, I felt that I was in an intimate space. Like a giant library but empty, just pillars and shelves.I looked at the younger me and realized I was the shield of my emotions. Then one of my friends (the trip sitter) put her hand on mind and I felt so much warmth. With my head still down and eyes closed I saw the younger me in front of me. he reached out his hand, grabbed mine, and smiled. Immediately I was pulled out of it and sat up. Ever since then I’ve been able to cry when I’m sad, and process emotions that were frozen before.
Your personal story at the end of the vid was beautiful and really spoke to me. Bummed to hear your output will be decreasing, but I get it. Here’s to hoping you get that J&J money.
This is what I'm talking about 😎 Salvia gave me my first full ego death too. Id done others before but it's pure intensity shot me into another reality.
Man, right when I was looking for a video like this, I find this while watching Chris-Chan videos. When I say “a video like this” I mean one that says using psychedelics occasionally and as tools. I’ve done LSD five times in the span of seven years, DMT once, and very recently I had my first psilocybin experience. My third LSD experience was my first experience that I experienced ego death. The other two helped me as well, but the psilocybin one was the real one for me. It was because of psychs that I got sober twice, made changes in my life, took big steps to go after the career I want, and change my lifestyle. It’s funny how you said everyone experiences ego death differently, because yours was very different than mine. Mine is more of a physical feeling, I don’t have that second voice in my head and that is when I get face my problems head on without my pride and ego getting in the way. There are two things in my life that have shaped who I am and have changed my life: music and psychedelics. When I was in college, my final English essay was about how we should put more interest in psychedelic research. This video is great for introducing people who aren’t experienced with psychs or anything besides weed and alcohol, as you said in the video. In my experiences with talking to people about it, the ones who haven’t done them are scared of the same thing. I’ve always been a lightweight, it doesn’t take much for me. I only did two Gs of mushrooms and I was good there. When I was college, a lot of the people who have done them we people who were younger going into psychology specifically to study psychedelics. Almost every time. I’ve had many great and memorable discussions about psychedelics with people in that field. A show for anyone who hasn’t heard, I feel like most have though, is Hamilton’s Pharmacopeia. He definitely focuses more on the “why does psychs affect us” but goes to the societal impacts and traditional uses. Great stuff! There is guy on RUclips who’s uploaded every episode so there ya go, free is best free as my Uncle Free said. Anyways, great video, really enjoyed the writing, ya got some good laughs out of me, you have phenomenal narration, and music, AHH the music . I got really excited when I heard Roygbiv by Boards of Canada, one of my favorite songs by them!
Thanks man, really interesting to hear your experience with ego death. Very different indeed! Hamilton's Pharmacopeia is great, I gotta say I'm envious of his job.
@@talkinbout8159 for sure man, I just reread my response and saw that I didn’t go into detail at all. My third LSD occurred at an interesting time in my life. I was dealing with consequences that I created by myself, but of course took no responsibility, hurting others in the process, people who I cared for. I was afraid of how others would see me so I let my ego make decisions. The two other people I was with (who were also tripping) decided they wanted to watch the film adaption of the album The Wall by Pink Floyd, everybody knows the album and has seen the movie, I’ve seen it and heard multiple times before. But it was the tale end of the movie, when the main character started to break did I start to get that ego death and started to relate to the character in some ways. Pushing people out of his life for his own selfish needs. I went off my own, wondering why feel this way and not the fun Magical Mystery Tour feeling. I put on some headphones and played my own music. Within the first song, the music started to get more reverb added until it was almost a white noise. It was then that I felt I surrendered, no longer in control. I started to have inner monologue but it was different, my voice was more panic and clearly trying to hold on while the other one was one I have never heard before. It sound feminine and female like (I’m a healthy baby boy, not a female) and she pretty told me to listen for once in my life and then I visual saw myself in a POV sitting in the empty and barren apartment, sitting alone and looked alone, abandoned, and have regret. It was then she said to change my ways or else that will be my fate. She said goodbye and that someone was trying to get my attention, just then did I open my eyes and saw one of the two people I was with handing me orange juice. It was an interesting and intense experience I’ll never forget. I’ve only heard that voice once more and it was next LSD experience. And it was the same famine female voice
Glad I found this channel by clicking a Koth video. I had a similar experience with some drug in university a few years ago. It made me a more relaxed and productive person for a few years but I'm going back to my anxious self. I wish I knew what I took so I could do it again
This is likely my favorite video from you. I've been a major fan of occasional psychedelic use for years now. I use a bit more often than you preferring between 2-4 times a year usually with the goal of just seeing where it takes me. I always had an interest in the idea of psychedelics allowing you to "have a conversation with your subconscious" and while I found that's not Exactly the case of what they do that the change in perspective and removing yourself from You allows you to experience and see everything as if brand new. LSD in particular really opened my eyes to the fact that my world is only My world, and by that I mean perception. While on LSD everything feels different, touch, sound, sight, taste, and one of my favorite things to do is to immerse myself in usually uncomfortable physical situations during the trip and see how it feels from the brand new perception that psychedelics allow me to experience. It really made me realize that what to me is uncomfortable to others is comfort, that what the world IS is really my perception of it, if that statement makes any sense. That realization made me think about how what I see and think is so strongly based on what experiences I have had or not had or desire to have and that just reaching the age of 30 involved so many millions, shit probably billions of thoughts and decisions that it is impossible for two people to ever fully be the same, or agree or disagree 100% with another person about everything they think. It gave me this idea that no matter who you speak with, there are things you can both agree on and both disagree on and even when two people seem to have the exact same opinions they will never likely be for the same reasons or from the same perspectives. While this may sound like isolating or "we're all special and different" talk what it means to me is that there are billions of different perceptions of this world out there, and I believe the more of them we truly try to understand and take into ourselves the more personal growth we achieve and the more "well-rounded" we become. It also made me realize that with all the millions of thoughts we are all made up of, there is an inevitable fact that others out there share your thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams, and that led to this more connected feeling with the world. I remember thinking during my second ever trip about how I one day hope to invite my family to my home that I earn with my hard work and experience the pride of showing my family what they're child has accomplished and that I will be ok in life. I was walking to a convenience store at the time because I ran out of beer during the trip and for some reason, the idea of breaking my cycle of sipping on a beer felt wrong so I needed more and decided to risk a nighttime adventure to the convenience store! I passed someone unloading groceries and just blatantly asked them "Hey do you own a home or want to own a home someday? I'd like to someday have my family visit me in a home I own and earned, do you want to do that too?" and I can clearly remember the very confused and somewhat scared look they had (to be fair this was around 10:50pm at night and I was a total stranger approaching them) and they said "I uhh.. don't really get along with my parents.." and I was smacked with the idea of not having that familial love being a part of my life and came to be so much more grateful for having a loving family that I like on a personal level as well as a family one. I'm honestly not sure I've ever experienced proper ego disillusion as it's described in your video and many other articles I've read or videos watched. I approached psychedelics with like a white-knuckled enthusiasm, like that feeling at the precipice of a roller-coasters climb before it starts the first big drop where your gripping the bar and have fear rushing through you and anticipation for the ride that's about to begin. I have always grinned and been happy when things started to look different and don't believe i'v ever fought a trip or had a bad one. The main thing I would say I gained from a personal-fault-being-realized angle was that I always desired those tight-knit friends that do anything for eachother and realized that I myself was not willing to do anything, and I would never have that kind of friendship unless I took the risks outside my comfort zone when a friend asked for help in a way I was not totally comfortable providing, to give someone trust with something of mine that was a vital part of my survival, I had never done this and only these past couple of years have truly begun to do so and found myself forming a friendship with someone deeper than those of even my childhood growing-up friends. We do roughly half of the yearly trips together and it's interesting to me how when we discuss it during and after the trip even our trips are different. Mine feels overall more like a mental stretching of the brain, trying to encompass all these new perceptions of the world and it really REALLY makes me love old art before photography as I've grown to see them as the only visuals of a world we cannot otherwise ever see, and even then it is one person's perception of that era of our world's history. My friend experiences mostly emotions and physical sensations and focuses on the pleasurable side of the physical sensations. Sorry for the massive text walls, you do a far better job putting your thoughts in a more coherent order in your videos than I do with my posts. This is just a subject I'm very passionate and interested in and I have found I love your videos on nearly any subject due to the significant thought and research you do as well as how you look at things from all angles and do not seem to approach your studies with a goal of proving a theory but instead it feels like you approach them with openness and curiosity. I am sad to hear you will be making less content, I hope your work-life brings you joy and success but even moreso I hope you can find a way to make this channel bring you an income substantial enough to allow you to do more of this type of work. If you are ever in the Washington State area and care to, i'd love to hang out and do a trip with you. I've always been clinical about my doses and know how much ug I take and what my one trip friend's favorite dosage is. We roll a bit hard but not the same amounts as it's all about what your particular mind needs to get to where you want to go. The first half, the rise, of most trips we spend hanging out looking at fish tanks and album covers on a big screen as we let random new music play just to see what the musical world is up to, it's always a bit funny when one of those "guilty pleasure" songs hit on that you'd usually skip and pretend to be annoyed about in polite company and we can't hide that we're digging it and get to share one of those cool open moments. I am curious, what do you usually do during your trips? Do you have a ritual beforehand? I feel the need to clean and do every chore I can to feel I have earned it. And if you read all this, thank you, I appreciate the attention and time I'm sure it took to read all this rambling stuff. I hope you get to enjoy Ayahuasca some day, I myself want to give it a try. I'v tried DMT but just cannot inhale enough nor hold it long enough to get a proper blast-off but from what i've read Ayahuasca is like a 4+ hour-long DMT trip and one of if not the most intense psychedelic experience one can have. I have plans in place putting back money every month to one day go on a trip to where a shaman or professional of whatever sort walks you through it all. Take care bud! Keep enjoying life and all the best wishes to you in finding success in work and here!
Indeed I read it all and I'll respond with my own wall of text. The realizations you described are exactly why I made this video. You know just as I do how beautiful, moving, and powerful trips can be. I've had periods where somethings wrong and I can't put my finger on it, but after one strong trip I was able to take my blinders off and gain the perspective I needed. When tripping, I'm either doing something crazy (I took it once at a Juggalo festival, I'm not a fan so it felt like a journey through hell.. in a rewarding way) or getting cozy. I like to playing video games a lot. Horror games like layers of fear or amnesia were amazing experiences. Abzu and Journey were also unforgettable. You genuinely feel like you are in those worlds. Otherwise just exploring outside. I love how the mind wanders. You could have all these things planned but in the moment, you'll get a spark of enthusiasm for something and that's just what will pull you. Cleaning beforehand is a good call! I do the same, as well as prep activities, so everything's ready to go if I need them (music, videos, etc). I also prep food for when it's over. I'm the same with DMT man, the only time I had it I wasted it. Couldn't hold it in. I really appreciate your kind words and sharing your experiences. My favorite part of doing RUclips is connecting with people. My professional career involves helping others so it's rewarding, but I love this hobby. Maybe in 1-3 years it could pay for health insurance so I can take part time work, but we'll see. I'm on the East Coast but maybe on day our paths will cross. You got a great perspective on things, all the best!
@@talkinbout8159 Thats wild to heard you mention a Juggalo festival man, in high school I had a friend who took me to a couple ICP shows and while I was never a big fan of the music I liked the atmosphere of everyone having a good time and being cool with anyone doing anything so long as your not being a dick. I remember giant dude getting way too drunk and falling during a big mosh-pit part of the show and everyone in the crowd instantly stopped moshing and helped the dude up, got him to a table and some water all while the show was still going on. It's made me curious about the festivals themselves but I can imagine how an acid trip at one would be quite a crazy and intense experience! And you game during it too! When I first did acid I had no one to do it with and while my roomie was ok hanging with me for a bit during it, due to it being like a 12 hour thing eventually he wanted to do his own thing. A couple times I was even alone from start to finish and played State of Decay 2 as well as 7 Days to Die. I found state of decay to be more enjoyable due to it's higher graphics and I remember the grass starting to form together into this like green misty haze. 7 Days was very engrossing though. I know it's just a zombie survival game but I really did feel more "in" the world than when playing it. Dying felt like it would mean so much more and I found myself approaching it like I would in actual life rather than a game and being far more careful than I usually was. I like your idea of playing a horror game though. I actually tried to play Amnesia: Dark Descent once years ago before i'd even tried acid and I pussed out and didn't finish it or even get that far xD The anxiety and constant juggle of insanity vs not being caught was too much for me then. But I find the idea of mixing LSD with a fearful experience and challenging myself to make it through it. I think taking LSD in general is a bit of a challenge to yourself, your taking a dive into the unknown every time not knowing what you will think or feel or realize every time so in a way it seems like the perfect time to tackle another challenge, especially considering the new perception you'll be experiencing as you do. I visit the east coast every year or so to see my family again for a week, if your not too far from SC or NC perhaps we could hang and trip or just hang out normally but no real pressure on that front bud. I am curious to just in general talk with you more though if your down for it. What do you do for work? I work in security myself, never really gave the field consideration before moving here and an old school friend telling me it's not all bar bouncers like tv made me think. I've found I really enjoy the role and for the first time in my life I like my job and the people I work with and for. There are a ton of rules and protocols to learn for a hundred or two situations but as that has all become second nature to me over the years I feel even better about my work knowing I'm good at what I do and my company and client show appreciation to me for my expertise and good reactions to some of the wild situations that can occur. Feeling valued makes a big difference in work-enjoyment. I hope you get that from your job too man.
@@rantingguy1726 I'm in healthcare, I gotta keep it vague just in case I ever let a little too much slip (ya never want work to know your private life). But patient appreciation definitely helps. Competency, utility, and appreciation are so integral to not hating your job, so I'm happy to hear you're getting that! Not to mention being able to continually improve and learn, which keeps work from getting boring. Amnesia was the first video game I ever played while tripping. Having to work up the courage to go deeper, push yourself. To this day I still say "we must go deeper daniel" in regards to exploring the mind. It really stuck with me. But Layers of Fear would be my number 1 recommendation because it's sort of 'on rails', its an experience and even on acid you can manage to just keep going deeper. Amnesia has too many puzzles to get stuck on. As for the juggalos, they were all super nice. But all the fireworks and sirens going off throughout the night into the morning made it feel like a warzone. I thought I was in a drug induced Vietnam.
@@talkinbout8159 Really got me thinking on that Amnesia game, may be a bit of me wanting to challenge an old defeat and claim victory but also the idea of being that immersed in a horror story, which I almost never have played horror games, sounds very interesting. I like the idea of mentally challenging your fears and I have found games to feel a bit similar over the years, i've slowed down my gaming a bit even though it still is a big hobby of mine. Perhaps the horror genre would be something i'd enjoy now that i'm older. I have always enjoyed mysteries and all horror at it's core tends to have a mystery. Never heard of Layers of Fear myself but i'l definitely check it out as well. I like the idea of a guided story-game too for a trip-experience. All I remember of Amnesia is that you find pages, or a book or diary that you wrote to yourself but it only hints at the story. And your stuck in like an old castle with this chimeric monster/humanoid thing searching for you as you try to maintain sanity, figure out what you were trying to tell yourself, and not get killed by the creature. My personal experience was trying to sneak around, failing, running into a room and hiding in a cupboard which the monster took it's SWEET TIME getting to then beat it to pieces around me as I screamed and NOPE'd out and Alt-F4'd. Yeah I can see how that much random noise and loud sharp sounds could be disorientating and not enjoyable at the jugallo festival. I can imagine myself constantly being like "What does THAT sound mean? Is it good? Bad? Does it relate to me? Damnit too much is going on!" every time some new siren or horn went off. I like your description of a drug-induced Vietnam. I get it about keeping it vague when it comes to work. I freely mention my career but I don't ever mention my company or my building. A coworker who has become a friend has mentioned how I completely shift at work. I never consciously chose or thought about it but I have a work-mode. He told me he thought I was a serious dude and was a bit hesitate to go out hiking and shooting with me thinking I was going to be some hardcore tack-driver but accepted a bit out of feeling pressured by my bearing at work. He then said he was pleasantly surprised to find I was so incredibly relaxed out of work and open and just wanted to hang out, chow some jerky and pop a few 22's at some cheapo soda cans before cleaning and hiking back out. Being aware of how radically different I am at work vs in life had led me to avoid mixing the two, I feel I excel at my job because I have a serious work-mode attitude and that attitude at work has made it where even the most wild days hardly phase me, even a absolute crazy dude smashing windows and forcing a police call and physical intervention a couple weeks ago didn't make me think "this was a bad day" I more thought like "Well it's been awhile since some crazy stuff happened, this is what they pay me for". Though I do truly appreciate that my job can vary day to day so it doesn't get stale. I'd say its 85% calm and 15% absolute random unknown craziness. Lots of chill, in exchange for being on the ball when the other shoe drops. I will say, back on the lsd topic, that it is rather fun to go for a walk on a pretty day in the middle of the trip. The world feels so different and alive and I always end up finding appreciation and wonder in it, wonder in how beautiful the mountains in the distance look and how gorgeous the world is all on it's own and wonder at how humans as a species have done so much even with minimal cooperation, last time I did that and was looking towards some city in the distance an hour into the walk I was struck by the fact that it tooks thousands, tens of thousands of people working together to make a city viewable from such a distance, likely hundreds of thousands. Realized even with how difficult it can be to get us all to cooperate with eachother that what we can do truly is amazing when we do cooperate. Made me a bit sad to think of the problems that still exist likely due to us just not focusing on them enough, like cancer still being a big problem and us not having colonized other planets yet. But it also made me hopeful, we used to cooperate even less in the past when basic survival was such a main focal point that exploration and study were on the back burner. I figure we'r still evolving as a species and have only been in what i'd call "easy survival" mode (at least for some countries) for a couple hundred years now maybe? I may have my numbers wrong but essentially my point being that there is tons more opportunity now to do these massive cooperation tasks than there was in the past, just a matter of getting past the greed factor or finding out how to make it work in favor of accomplishing great things rather than just trying to compile more money doing the same thing for as long as possible. Hope that last part didn't come across as a big downer thought process, it really did give me a positive and hopeful outlook on the future of the human species. Anyways I spent so long typing, it's time to go back to work! Hope you've had a nice day bud! I know it's like midnight there sooo, good morning I guess!
Good morning! Yah the greed factor... that's basically what's undermining every modern problem in the US right now. I'd say I have a far more pessimistic view of humanity's trajectory. It'll ending in a blaze of panic. But we won't be around for that! All we can do is try to carve out a nice little space for ourselves in this life, try to build a community of likeminded people, support those who need help, and preach the change we want to see. I hope for everyone to achieve that.
This video game me major acid flashbacks. Trippy. The points you made about acid helping kick addiction is very neat because I didn’t know that was even a thing but after doing a ten strip I was able to kick my opiod and alcohol addictions and I didn’t even know there was actual science behind it. I second the monetary support of the channel. Still waiting on that McRib and a convo.
A whole strip??? I want to hear about that... It's a big thing now to take shrooms, lsd, ayahuasca etc, to curb addictions or PTSD. Ayahuasca is certainly on my bucket list. I hope in a few years maybe the channel will pick up steam, I can open a discord, we can all talk, have a few drinks/McRibs. But it's just not there yet so I need to bring in the big bucks. I'm lucky to have people like yourself giving me energy to keep this going. Edit: Also congrats on getting clean! Me and Toni (listenin'to) both know how hard that is.
My medication makes hallucinogens not work. Infact, in the ER sometimes it's administered to people on shrooms to kill the trip. I've been told you should completely avoid them if you're Bipolar anyways.
This was such an interesting video to watch - thank you for putting your time and effort into it! I'd smoked a lot of weed consistently for years and have recently come to terms with the fact that I am addicted - it just didn't help with anything anymore, was just a routine and made me even more anxious. I've always thought about trying hallucinogens, but was afraid (literally the second argument debunked in this video; I'm scared of what I might see, of a "bad" trip). Not because I can't bare to witness my subconscious (at least I hope), but because I've heard of stories where people's brain got fried or some sort of mental illness became prominent after using such drugs... I heard it's pleasurable to be of "sound mind" when going into such drugs, something I don't think I ever fully am (i.e. anxiety). Because of these fears I am even more afraid in a way that I think to myself "What if something does go wrong purely because I am worrying so much beforehand?" Anyways, don't know what to do about that - maybe I'll try it some day, who knows... If anyone has any thoughts, feel free to respond. Cheers!
Those thoughts are completely normal. Don't think of yourself as 'different' or unable to take drugs like a 'normal person.' Believe me, I still get crazy anxiety before any trip because I dont know what will happen. Giving up control is scary and I dont know where my mind will take me. The 'permanent damage' aspect is largely pushed by the anti drug movement. Most often psychedelics will only bring out mental illness if its already present. I am not here to push drugs. Far from it. But we already live in a culture that loves certain drugs, like weed and alcohol, and those also take away control. We don't think straight with weed or booze. As soon as its in our system, we are no longer ourselves. So think back to the first time you smoked weed. Wasn't it scary? It's not like you could "turn off" the high. There was no going back.
What psychs have done for you personal tragedy and religious growth have done for me. I do think a dissolution of one’s ego is important, but I also think there are other avenues outside of psychedelic experimentation. I do wonder at times if I lost something with the dissolution of my ego, yes I am undoubtedly a more well rounded individual now, but I do think ego is present in the human psyche for a reason, I’m just not exactly sure what that reason is at the moment. Thank you for this channel, I’ve enjoyed being able to engage with a drastically different world view through it. If I hit it big one day I’ll be sure to send you a fat sponsor check so you can return to making these videos more regularly. God bless.
Appreciate that, and you're right. There are plenty of avenues outside of drugs. The mind is incredibly powerful. Buddhists seek ego death solely through meditation.
DUDE, you became Kang from the Marvel Cinematic Universe while on salvia. Congratulations! Cool fella! Forreal, that's such a beautiful experience you had on salvia. I'd like to try psychedelics when my life calms a bit. Very stressed a depressed lately, but I'm writing a movie about two Tripsitters, and it may be good to try psilocybin
god, I adore your content and I've watched 3 videos. You should definitely be more popular. I suppose you're a bit like casually explained, but a lot more perceptive, and I honestly prefer your content to his. Thanks for this/all your videos. Cheers.
That book thing is really cool: ( when I had mushrooms the whole time I just needed my headphones lmfao I couldn't find them and I looked for them for 6 hrs. Was a rad trip 8)
It sucks when you stumble into a good smaller channel but either they have stopped making content or they are on the downward trajectory. Hope work slows down man I enjoyed watching your stuff.
As someone who went to rehab and has been required to attend AA/NA meetings I just want to say the whole needing to hit ‘rock bottom’ idea is bullshit and dangerous. I have very strong... _thoughts_ on AA/NA and it’s pseudoscience, religious based practice that I will save for another time lol. As an aside the first time I ever... _”held court with the fae”_ as it were, it was my 16th birthday and my friends took me to go see ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’ and idk that’s just so funny to me. For like an hour I just thought the movie was like super avant garde, until I realized it wasn’t _just_ the movie.
An avant garde experience of Paul Blart I'd pay to see. I completely agree with your thoughts on AA/NA. Due to their insistence on anonymity there's no data to show if it's successful at all. The 'rock bottom' idea can lead some to keep abusing drugs because, well at least they're not as bad as this other person in group. I was personally turned off most by the 'higher power' nonsense.
@@talkinbout8159 trying to explain to my sponsor that I had a religion, but like it wasn’t an abrahamic faith so this weird master slave dynamic they were pushing isn’t really what I believed in, like the gods I believe in wouldn’t take credit for my triumphs and can’t absolve me of sin, there is mutual reciprocity. She told me to go to mass. Lol
I haven’t done much in terms of psychedelics and in terms of actual drugs I’ve only done Cocaine 5 times and ecstasy once. But I enjoy mushrooms a lot, tried acid once and that was fun too. It’s nice to do mushrooms and sit back to watch a documentary or play a video game and deep dive into the world building ❤️ Mushrooms haven’t helped me with my alcoholism though 😕
Wait I smoked salvia once and that was brutal 😐 I somehow got stuck in a mental hallway that was very narrow and there were no doors. Then once I snapped back I couldn’t speak for a bit because I couldn’t get my jaws to unclench. It was too much and started laughing maniacally and shooting snot everywhere because I still couldn’t open my mouth. Not a fan and I’m good on trying it ever again.
Its like taking a huge mental sh*t, it may suck in the moment, but afterwards you feel great. Other drugs help you lie to yourself, you cant lie to yourself on psychedelics
Nope, but the link between the two are very interesting! Anti-psychotics for schizophrenia actually block the effects of hallucinogens because they both target a common receptor.
Yee I hear some people try to use anti-psychotics to avoid getting flashbacks or to like quit the stuff. Idk I hate anti-psychotics they make me so damn sleepy and give me mush brain. I try telling my psychiatrist that I need something weaker so that I can take them more regularly, but they never listen to me because ohhh me so crazy, so I end up cutting them into 4ths. I've been off them for almost 5 years now tho. My mood has been more erratic, but like I also meditate and try to be mindful of myself and what's going on so my mood has been pretty regular. Also been trying to force myself into stressful situations since they tend to make me spiral. I'm an anxious person even when I was on anti-psychotics so idk I think there am brain issue I need to fix there. I think I want to try hallucinating on purpose down the road tho, maybe something mild just to learn to cope with them. I get them pretty regularly from looking at the sky, fabrics, and like solid color stuff I have that one blue sky eye meme, so I stare at them sometimes to just take it in and just let my brain do it's thing to get used to the idea that yeah sometimes I'm just gonna hear and see shit that isn't real. I want to try hallucinogenics to dive into my brain and just accept all it's flaws so I can be one with it instead of just trying to force it to calm down, so I can idk be more in touch with it, but at the same time idk haha why would I want my deffective brain in control of anything, I basically had a bad trip for like 8 months when I turned 19 and had a mental break and it was trash. Saw my family die and be disembowled and the world destroyed thought I was dead for like 2 days so idk, maybe not a good idea to do it since it could end up being permanent. I know it's a bad idea to go long stretches of time without treatment since I can relapse, but idk the traditional medical system treats me like a headcase moron, even though all my reports since I was 12 say highly conscious of self and others and highly inquisitive so like idk. I've thought about maybe buying my prescriptions illegally just to be able to medicate myself when I'm really having rough patches, but like why bother when I can just get into the system for a little while and leave once I get my pills. ughh I just want a doctor that understands I'm not a headcase or completely fragile mentally and just let me be comfortable figuring out how to live as close to a normal life as I can with my odd mental state.
@@moeneet7069 Lay it on me by all means. I'm going to agree, without a doubt, that taking hallucinogens is a bad idea. It has the potential to go completely sideways and often does for those with prior conditions. That said, I am very impressed with your current lifestyle. Carving your own path to wellness, outside of our overprescribed healthcare system, is admirable. Meditating, knowing your triggers and how to avoid them, all these things take such patience and effort. Far too many people opt for medication or surgery to avoid putting in work. However, it would be great if you kept looking for a decent doctor as some things are out of our control. Took me a decade to find a doctor that understood my mind. It isn't easy, but its possible. Feel free to spam me with text anytime you want.
The most I've ever done is weed, which just makes me shake constantly and stop thinking. I would definitely experiment more if I didn't have the looming fear of losing my job and getting kicked out of my degree program if I was caught. I'd try things that aren't even illegal, like antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, muscle relaxants, or dementia medications, just to see if they can improve my day-to-day life even slightly.
this is so fucking bizarre to watch after the small talk video, going from you calmly explaining foreign analogies for americans to explaining the opioid epidemic and america's stigma against drug culture is so weird when your tone never changes haha
I had an experience similar to ego death while on acid, I was smoking and accidentally greened out and almost blacked out. My friends faces started glitching and I couldn’t recognize them. I couldn’t remember my name and began to panic. My “self” was pulled out of my head and sat about 2 feet above me but I could feel the environment (closed eye visuals) . There was a small child in my hands balled up and crying. I immediately knew it was me, but who I used to be. Gentle and emotional. I started silently crying (I hadn’t cried in 2 years) and lowered my head into my arms. I was cold, I felt that I was in an intimate space. Like a giant library but empty, just pillars and shelves.I looked at the younger me and realized I was the shield of my emotions. Then one of my friends (the trip sitter) put her hand on mind and I felt so much warmth. With my head still down and eyes closed I saw the younger me in front of me. he reached out his hand, grabbed mine, and smiled. Immediately I was pulled out of it and sat up. Ever since then I’ve been able to cry when I’m sad, and process emotions that were frozen before.
Your personal story at the end of the vid was beautiful and really spoke to me. Bummed to hear your output will be decreasing, but I get it. Here’s to hoping you get that J&J money.
Come on J&J!!
This is what I'm talking about 😎
Salvia gave me my first full ego death too. Id done others before but it's pure intensity shot me into another reality.
This channel deserves way more views and subscribers…
Agreed. But look in the bright side: we'll all be the people who were like "I was there when he wasn't huge!"
Not even in some sort of patronizing way - It's good content.
Just like you I like to do it once a year ever since I opened my third eye its mind opening love your take on it please don't ever stop making videos
Man, right when I was looking for a video like this, I find this while watching Chris-Chan videos. When I say “a video like this” I mean one that says using psychedelics occasionally and as tools. I’ve done LSD five times in the span of seven years, DMT once, and very recently I had my first psilocybin experience. My third LSD experience was my first experience that I experienced ego death. The other two helped me as well, but the psilocybin one was the real one for me. It was because of psychs that I got sober twice, made changes in my life, took big steps to go after the career I want, and change my lifestyle. It’s funny how you said everyone experiences ego death differently, because yours was very different than mine. Mine is more of a physical feeling, I don’t have that second voice in my head and that is when I get face my problems head on without my pride and ego getting in the way. There are two things in my life that have shaped who I am and have changed my life: music and psychedelics. When I was in college, my final English essay was about how we should put more interest in psychedelic research. This video is great for introducing people who aren’t experienced with psychs or anything besides weed and alcohol, as you said in the video. In my experiences with talking to people about it, the ones who haven’t done them are scared of the same thing. I’ve always been a lightweight, it doesn’t take much for me. I only did two Gs of mushrooms and I was good there. When I was college, a lot of the people who have done them we people who were younger going into psychology specifically to study psychedelics. Almost every time. I’ve had many great and memorable discussions about psychedelics with people in that field. A show for anyone who hasn’t heard, I feel like most have though, is Hamilton’s Pharmacopeia. He definitely focuses more on the “why does psychs affect us” but goes to the societal impacts and traditional uses. Great stuff! There is guy on RUclips who’s uploaded every episode so there ya go, free is best free as my Uncle Free said. Anyways, great video, really enjoyed the writing, ya got some good laughs out of me, you have phenomenal narration, and music, AHH the music . I got really excited when I heard Roygbiv by Boards of Canada, one of my favorite songs by them!
Thanks man, really interesting to hear your experience with ego death. Very different indeed! Hamilton's Pharmacopeia is great, I gotta say I'm envious of his job.
@@talkinbout8159 for sure man, I just reread my response and saw that I didn’t go into detail at all. My third LSD occurred at an interesting time in my life. I was dealing with consequences that I created by myself, but of course took no responsibility, hurting others in the process, people who I cared for. I was afraid of how others would see me so I let my ego make decisions. The two other people I was with (who were also tripping) decided they wanted to watch the film adaption of the album The Wall by Pink Floyd, everybody knows the album and has seen the movie, I’ve seen it and heard multiple times before. But it was the tale end of the movie, when the main character started to break did I start to get that ego death and started to relate to the character in some ways. Pushing people out of his life for his own selfish needs. I went off my own, wondering why feel this way and not the fun Magical Mystery Tour feeling. I put on some headphones and played my own music. Within the first song, the music started to get more reverb added until it was almost a white noise. It was then that I felt I surrendered, no longer in control. I started to have inner monologue but it was different, my voice was more panic and clearly trying to hold on while the other one was one I have never heard before. It sound feminine and female like (I’m a healthy baby boy, not a female) and she pretty told me to listen for once in my life and then I visual saw myself in a POV sitting in the empty and barren apartment, sitting alone and looked alone, abandoned, and have regret. It was then she said to change my ways or else that will be my fate. She said goodbye and that someone was trying to get my attention, just then did I open my eyes and saw one of the two people I was with handing me orange juice. It was an interesting and intense experience I’ll never forget. I’ve only heard that voice once more and it was next LSD experience. And it was the same famine female voice
This is the worst day of my life. But this helped. It didn't fix it. But it helped. Right now, that's worth more than I can say
Everything passes! I hope today is better.
Glad I found this channel by clicking a Koth video. I had a similar experience with some drug in university a few years ago. It made me a more relaxed and productive person for a few years but I'm going back to my anxious self. I wish I knew what I took so I could do it again
Yep the anxiety always creeps back in..
Keep up the incredible content :) thank you. You may only have 5k subs right now but I can see this channel really taking off if you keep it up!!!
May I please support your work monetarily?
I greatly appreciate that, but it's just not the time.
You can support me monetarily. I solemnly swear I will spend your money on drugs.
This is likely my favorite video from you. I've been a major fan of occasional psychedelic use for years now. I use a bit more often than you preferring between 2-4 times a year usually with the goal of just seeing where it takes me. I always had an interest in the idea of psychedelics allowing you to "have a conversation with your subconscious" and while I found that's not Exactly the case of what they do that the change in perspective and removing yourself from You allows you to experience and see everything as if brand new. LSD in particular really opened my eyes to the fact that my world is only My world, and by that I mean perception. While on LSD everything feels different, touch, sound, sight, taste, and one of my favorite things to do is to immerse myself in usually uncomfortable physical situations during the trip and see how it feels from the brand new perception that psychedelics allow me to experience. It really made me realize that what to me is uncomfortable to others is comfort, that what the world IS is really my perception of it, if that statement makes any sense.
That realization made me think about how what I see and think is so strongly based on what experiences I have had or not had or desire to have and that just reaching the age of 30 involved so many millions, shit probably billions of thoughts and decisions that it is impossible for two people to ever fully be the same, or agree or disagree 100% with another person about everything they think. It gave me this idea that no matter who you speak with, there are things you can both agree on and both disagree on and even when two people seem to have the exact same opinions they will never likely be for the same reasons or from the same perspectives. While this may sound like isolating or "we're all special and different" talk what it means to me is that there are billions of different perceptions of this world out there, and I believe the more of them we truly try to understand and take into ourselves the more personal growth we achieve and the more "well-rounded" we become.
It also made me realize that with all the millions of thoughts we are all made up of, there is an inevitable fact that others out there share your thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams, and that led to this more connected feeling with the world. I remember thinking during my second ever trip about how I one day hope to invite my family to my home that I earn with my hard work and experience the pride of showing my family what they're child has accomplished and that I will be ok in life. I was walking to a convenience store at the time because I ran out of beer during the trip and for some reason, the idea of breaking my cycle of sipping on a beer felt wrong so I needed more and decided to risk a nighttime adventure to the convenience store! I passed someone unloading groceries and just blatantly asked them "Hey do you own a home or want to own a home someday? I'd like to someday have my family visit me in a home I own and earned, do you want to do that too?" and I can clearly remember the very confused and somewhat scared look they had (to be fair this was around 10:50pm at night and I was a total stranger approaching them) and they said "I uhh.. don't really get along with my parents.." and I was smacked with the idea of not having that familial love being a part of my life and came to be so much more grateful for having a loving family that I like on a personal level as well as a family one.
I'm honestly not sure I've ever experienced proper ego disillusion as it's described in your video and many other articles I've read or videos watched. I approached psychedelics with like a white-knuckled enthusiasm, like that feeling at the precipice of a roller-coasters climb before it starts the first big drop where your gripping the bar and have fear rushing through you and anticipation for the ride that's about to begin. I have always grinned and been happy when things started to look different and don't believe i'v ever fought a trip or had a bad one. The main thing I would say I gained from a personal-fault-being-realized angle was that I always desired those tight-knit friends that do anything for eachother and realized that I myself was not willing to do anything, and I would never have that kind of friendship unless I took the risks outside my comfort zone when a friend asked for help in a way I was not totally comfortable providing, to give someone trust with something of mine that was a vital part of my survival, I had never done this and only these past couple of years have truly begun to do so and found myself forming a friendship with someone deeper than those of even my childhood growing-up friends. We do roughly half of the yearly trips together and it's interesting to me how when we discuss it during and after the trip even our trips are different. Mine feels overall more like a mental stretching of the brain, trying to encompass all these new perceptions of the world and it really REALLY makes me love old art before photography as I've grown to see them as the only visuals of a world we cannot otherwise ever see, and even then it is one person's perception of that era of our world's history. My friend experiences mostly emotions and physical sensations and focuses on the pleasurable side of the physical sensations.
Sorry for the massive text walls, you do a far better job putting your thoughts in a more coherent order in your videos than I do with my posts. This is just a subject I'm very passionate and interested in and I have found I love your videos on nearly any subject due to the significant thought and research you do as well as how you look at things from all angles and do not seem to approach your studies with a goal of proving a theory but instead it feels like you approach them with openness and curiosity. I am sad to hear you will be making less content, I hope your work-life brings you joy and success but even moreso I hope you can find a way to make this channel bring you an income substantial enough to allow you to do more of this type of work.
If you are ever in the Washington State area and care to, i'd love to hang out and do a trip with you. I've always been clinical about my doses and know how much ug I take and what my one trip friend's favorite dosage is. We roll a bit hard but not the same amounts as it's all about what your particular mind needs to get to where you want to go. The first half, the rise, of most trips we spend hanging out looking at fish tanks and album covers on a big screen as we let random new music play just to see what the musical world is up to, it's always a bit funny when one of those "guilty pleasure" songs hit on that you'd usually skip and pretend to be annoyed about in polite company and we can't hide that we're digging it and get to share one of those cool open moments. I am curious, what do you usually do during your trips? Do you have a ritual beforehand? I feel the need to clean and do every chore I can to feel I have earned it.
And if you read all this, thank you, I appreciate the attention and time I'm sure it took to read all this rambling stuff. I hope you get to enjoy Ayahuasca some day, I myself want to give it a try. I'v tried DMT but just cannot inhale enough nor hold it long enough to get a proper blast-off but from what i've read Ayahuasca is like a 4+ hour-long DMT trip and one of if not the most intense psychedelic experience one can have. I have plans in place putting back money every month to one day go on a trip to where a shaman or professional of whatever sort walks you through it all.
Take care bud! Keep enjoying life and all the best wishes to you in finding success in work and here!
Indeed I read it all and I'll respond with my own wall of text. The realizations you described are exactly why I made this video. You know just as I do how beautiful, moving, and powerful trips can be. I've had periods where somethings wrong and I can't put my finger on it, but after one strong trip I was able to take my blinders off and gain the perspective I needed.
When tripping, I'm either doing something crazy (I took it once at a Juggalo festival, I'm not a fan so it felt like a journey through hell.. in a rewarding way) or getting cozy. I like to playing video games a lot. Horror games like layers of fear or amnesia were amazing experiences. Abzu and Journey were also unforgettable. You genuinely feel like you are in those worlds. Otherwise just exploring outside. I love how the mind wanders. You could have all these things planned but in the moment, you'll get a spark of enthusiasm for something and that's just what will pull you.
Cleaning beforehand is a good call! I do the same, as well as prep activities, so everything's ready to go if I need them (music, videos, etc). I also prep food for when it's over.
I'm the same with DMT man, the only time I had it I wasted it. Couldn't hold it in.
I really appreciate your kind words and sharing your experiences. My favorite part of doing RUclips is connecting with people. My professional career involves helping others so it's rewarding, but I love this hobby. Maybe in 1-3 years it could pay for health insurance so I can take part time work, but we'll see. I'm on the East Coast but maybe on day our paths will cross. You got a great perspective on things, all the best!
@@talkinbout8159 Thats wild to heard you mention a Juggalo festival man, in high school I had a friend who took me to a couple ICP shows and while I was never a big fan of the music I liked the atmosphere of everyone having a good time and being cool with anyone doing anything so long as your not being a dick. I remember giant dude getting way too drunk and falling during a big mosh-pit part of the show and everyone in the crowd instantly stopped moshing and helped the dude up, got him to a table and some water all while the show was still going on. It's made me curious about the festivals themselves but I can imagine how an acid trip at one would be quite a crazy and intense experience!
And you game during it too! When I first did acid I had no one to do it with and while my roomie was ok hanging with me for a bit during it, due to it being like a 12 hour thing eventually he wanted to do his own thing. A couple times I was even alone from start to finish and played State of Decay 2 as well as 7 Days to Die. I found state of decay to be more enjoyable due to it's higher graphics and I remember the grass starting to form together into this like green misty haze. 7 Days was very engrossing though. I know it's just a zombie survival game but I really did feel more "in" the world than when playing it. Dying felt like it would mean so much more and I found myself approaching it like I would in actual life rather than a game and being far more careful than I usually was.
I like your idea of playing a horror game though. I actually tried to play Amnesia: Dark Descent once years ago before i'd even tried acid and I pussed out and didn't finish it or even get that far xD The anxiety and constant juggle of insanity vs not being caught was too much for me then. But I find the idea of mixing LSD with a fearful experience and challenging myself to make it through it. I think taking LSD in general is a bit of a challenge to yourself, your taking a dive into the unknown every time not knowing what you will think or feel or realize every time so in a way it seems like the perfect time to tackle another challenge, especially considering the new perception you'll be experiencing as you do.
I visit the east coast every year or so to see my family again for a week, if your not too far from SC or NC perhaps we could hang and trip or just hang out normally but no real pressure on that front bud. I am curious to just in general talk with you more though if your down for it.
What do you do for work? I work in security myself, never really gave the field consideration before moving here and an old school friend telling me it's not all bar bouncers like tv made me think. I've found I really enjoy the role and for the first time in my life I like my job and the people I work with and for. There are a ton of rules and protocols to learn for a hundred or two situations but as that has all become second nature to me over the years I feel even better about my work knowing I'm good at what I do and my company and client show appreciation to me for my expertise and good reactions to some of the wild situations that can occur. Feeling valued makes a big difference in work-enjoyment. I hope you get that from your job too man.
@@rantingguy1726 I'm in healthcare, I gotta keep it vague just in case I ever let a little too much slip (ya never want work to know your private life). But patient appreciation definitely helps. Competency, utility, and appreciation are so integral to not hating your job, so I'm happy to hear you're getting that! Not to mention being able to continually improve and learn, which keeps work from getting boring.
Amnesia was the first video game I ever played while tripping. Having to work up the courage to go deeper, push yourself. To this day I still say "we must go deeper daniel" in regards to exploring the mind. It really stuck with me. But Layers of Fear would be my number 1 recommendation because it's sort of 'on rails', its an experience and even on acid you can manage to just keep going deeper. Amnesia has too many puzzles to get stuck on.
As for the juggalos, they were all super nice. But all the fireworks and sirens going off throughout the night into the morning made it feel like a warzone. I thought I was in a drug induced Vietnam.
@@talkinbout8159 Really got me thinking on that Amnesia game, may be a bit of me wanting to challenge an old defeat and claim victory but also the idea of being that immersed in a horror story, which I almost never have played horror games, sounds very interesting. I like the idea of mentally challenging your fears and I have found games to feel a bit similar over the years, i've slowed down my gaming a bit even though it still is a big hobby of mine. Perhaps the horror genre would be something i'd enjoy now that i'm older. I have always enjoyed mysteries and all horror at it's core tends to have a mystery.
Never heard of Layers of Fear myself but i'l definitely check it out as well. I like the idea of a guided story-game too for a trip-experience. All I remember of Amnesia is that you find pages, or a book or diary that you wrote to yourself but it only hints at the story. And your stuck in like an old castle with this chimeric monster/humanoid thing searching for you as you try to maintain sanity, figure out what you were trying to tell yourself, and not get killed by the creature. My personal experience was trying to sneak around, failing, running into a room and hiding in a cupboard which the monster took it's SWEET TIME getting to then beat it to pieces around me as I screamed and NOPE'd out and Alt-F4'd.
Yeah I can see how that much random noise and loud sharp sounds could be disorientating and not enjoyable at the jugallo festival. I can imagine myself constantly being like "What does THAT sound mean? Is it good? Bad? Does it relate to me? Damnit too much is going on!" every time some new siren or horn went off. I like your description of a drug-induced Vietnam.
I get it about keeping it vague when it comes to work. I freely mention my career but I don't ever mention my company or my building. A coworker who has become a friend has mentioned how I completely shift at work. I never consciously chose or thought about it but I have a work-mode. He told me he thought I was a serious dude and was a bit hesitate to go out hiking and shooting with me thinking I was going to be some hardcore tack-driver but accepted a bit out of feeling pressured by my bearing at work. He then said he was pleasantly surprised to find I was so incredibly relaxed out of work and open and just wanted to hang out, chow some jerky and pop a few 22's at some cheapo soda cans before cleaning and hiking back out.
Being aware of how radically different I am at work vs in life had led me to avoid mixing the two, I feel I excel at my job because I have a serious work-mode attitude and that attitude at work has made it where even the most wild days hardly phase me, even a absolute crazy dude smashing windows and forcing a police call and physical intervention a couple weeks ago didn't make me think "this was a bad day" I more thought like "Well it's been awhile since some crazy stuff happened, this is what they pay me for". Though I do truly appreciate that my job can vary day to day so it doesn't get stale. I'd say its 85% calm and 15% absolute random unknown craziness. Lots of chill, in exchange for being on the ball when the other shoe drops.
I will say, back on the lsd topic, that it is rather fun to go for a walk on a pretty day in the middle of the trip. The world feels so different and alive and I always end up finding appreciation and wonder in it, wonder in how beautiful the mountains in the distance look and how gorgeous the world is all on it's own and wonder at how humans as a species have done so much even with minimal cooperation, last time I did that and was looking towards some city in the distance an hour into the walk I was struck by the fact that it tooks thousands, tens of thousands of people working together to make a city viewable from such a distance, likely hundreds of thousands.
Realized even with how difficult it can be to get us all to cooperate with eachother that what we can do truly is amazing when we do cooperate.
Made me a bit sad to think of the problems that still exist likely due to us just not focusing on them enough, like cancer still being a big problem and us not having colonized other planets yet. But it also made me hopeful, we used to cooperate even less in the past when basic survival was such a main focal point that exploration and study were on the back burner. I figure we'r still evolving as a species and have only been in what i'd call "easy survival" mode (at least for some countries) for a couple hundred years now maybe? I may have my numbers wrong but essentially my point being that there is tons more opportunity now to do these massive cooperation tasks than there was in the past, just a matter of getting past the greed factor or finding out how to make it work in favor of accomplishing great things rather than just trying to compile more money doing the same thing for as long as possible.
Hope that last part didn't come across as a big downer thought process, it really did give me a positive and hopeful outlook on the future of the human species.
Anyways I spent so long typing, it's time to go back to work!
Hope you've had a nice day bud! I know it's like midnight there sooo, good morning I guess!
Good morning! Yah the greed factor... that's basically what's undermining every modern problem in the US right now. I'd say I have a far more pessimistic view of humanity's trajectory. It'll ending in a blaze of panic. But we won't be around for that! All we can do is try to carve out a nice little space for ourselves in this life, try to build a community of likeminded people, support those who need help, and preach the change we want to see. I hope for everyone to achieve that.
This video game me major acid flashbacks. Trippy. The points you made about acid helping kick addiction is very neat because I didn’t know that was even a thing but after doing a ten strip I was able to kick my opiod and alcohol addictions and I didn’t even know there was actual science behind it. I second the monetary support of the channel. Still waiting on that McRib and a convo.
A whole strip??? I want to hear about that... It's a big thing now to take shrooms, lsd, ayahuasca etc, to curb addictions or PTSD. Ayahuasca is certainly on my bucket list.
I hope in a few years maybe the channel will pick up steam, I can open a discord, we can all talk, have a few drinks/McRibs. But it's just not there yet so I need to bring in the big bucks. I'm lucky to have people like yourself giving me energy to keep this going.
Edit: Also congrats on getting clean! Me and Toni (listenin'to) both know how hard that is.
My medication makes hallucinogens not work. Infact, in the ER sometimes it's administered to people on shrooms to kill the trip. I've been told you should completely avoid them if you're Bipolar anyways.
This was such an interesting video to watch - thank you for putting your time and effort into it!
I'd smoked a lot of weed consistently for years and have recently come to terms with the fact that I am addicted - it just didn't help with anything anymore, was just a routine and made me even more anxious. I've always thought about trying hallucinogens, but was afraid (literally the second argument debunked in this video; I'm scared of what I might see, of a "bad" trip).
Not because I can't bare to witness my subconscious (at least I hope), but because I've heard of stories where people's brain got fried or some sort of mental illness became prominent after using such drugs... I heard it's pleasurable to be of "sound mind" when going into such drugs, something I don't think I ever fully am (i.e. anxiety).
Because of these fears I am even more afraid in a way that I think to myself "What if something does go wrong purely because I am worrying so much beforehand?" Anyways, don't know what to do about that - maybe I'll try it some day, who knows... If anyone has any thoughts, feel free to respond. Cheers!
Those thoughts are completely normal. Don't think of yourself as 'different' or unable to take drugs like a 'normal person.' Believe me, I still get crazy anxiety before any trip because I dont know what will happen. Giving up control is scary and I dont know where my mind will take me.
The 'permanent damage' aspect is largely pushed by the anti drug movement. Most often psychedelics will only bring out mental illness if its already present.
I am not here to push drugs. Far from it. But we already live in a culture that loves certain drugs, like weed and alcohol, and those also take away control. We don't think straight with weed or booze. As soon as its in our system, we are no longer ourselves. So think back to the first time you smoked weed. Wasn't it scary? It's not like you could "turn off" the high. There was no going back.
What psychs have done for you personal tragedy and religious growth have done for me. I do think a dissolution of one’s ego is important, but I also think there are other avenues outside of psychedelic experimentation. I do wonder at times if I lost something with the dissolution of my ego, yes I am undoubtedly a more well rounded individual now, but I do think ego is present in the human psyche for a reason, I’m just not exactly sure what that reason is at the moment. Thank you for this channel, I’ve enjoyed being able to engage with a drastically different world view through it. If I hit it big one day I’ll be sure to send you a fat sponsor check so you can return to making these videos more regularly. God bless.
Appreciate that, and you're right. There are plenty of avenues outside of drugs. The mind is incredibly powerful. Buddhists seek ego death solely through meditation.
all I have are intrusive self-critiquing thoughts
I guess I don't need drugs
Would enjoy a video of you taking about Big Bang theory. Really liked your few points about it in the King of the Hill video.
DUDE, you became Kang from the Marvel Cinematic Universe while on salvia. Congratulations! Cool fella!
Forreal, that's such a beautiful experience you had on salvia. I'd like to try psychedelics when my life calms a bit. Very stressed a depressed lately, but I'm writing a movie about two Tripsitters, and it may be good to try psilocybin
Only if you're ready for what it might unlock!
BRO! When i said i wanted a drug video this is not what I expected, but exactly what I wanted.
This is all your doing! It was the push I needed.
Don't hold back, your content is A+. Wicked blows you gotta cut back, hopefully for us its not totally.
@@8733k3r Not totally, just slowly!
@@talkinbout8159 glad to hear that, best of luck to you in all your endeavors
That’s a great way of describing it. I’ve always talked about Elk antlers
"I've always thought about elk antlers"...that's joe rogan ladies and gentlemen😂
god, I adore your content and I've watched 3 videos. You should definitely be more popular. I suppose you're a bit like casually explained, but a lot more perceptive, and I honestly prefer your content to his. Thanks for this/all your videos. Cheers.
Really appreciate the kind words, thanks!
Fantastic video man.
Thank you for making videos!
You are welcome
I'm all for recreational use. I don't drink or smoke but have been shooting dope for over a decade. To each their own.
I approve of this message :)
That book thing is really cool: ( when I had mushrooms the whole time I just needed my headphones lmfao I couldn't find them and I looked for them for 6 hrs. Was a rad trip 8)
Missing Headphones: An Unexpected Journey
Hey bro, hope all it good. Still looking forward to new videos. No rush.
Halfway there, hopefully it's interesting.
It sucks when you stumble into a good smaller channel but either they have stopped making content or they are on the downward trajectory. Hope work slows down man I enjoyed watching your stuff.
Me too, hopefully I can get the next one out within the month
As someone who went to rehab and has been required to attend AA/NA meetings I just want to say the whole needing to hit ‘rock bottom’ idea is bullshit and dangerous. I have very strong... _thoughts_ on AA/NA and it’s pseudoscience, religious based practice that I will save for another time lol.
As an aside the first time I ever... _”held court with the fae”_ as it were, it was my 16th birthday and my friends took me to go see ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop’ and idk that’s just so funny to me. For like an hour I just thought the movie was like super avant garde, until I realized it wasn’t _just_ the movie.
An avant garde experience of Paul Blart I'd pay to see.
I completely agree with your thoughts on AA/NA. Due to their insistence on anonymity there's no data to show if it's successful at all. The 'rock bottom' idea can lead some to keep abusing drugs because, well at least they're not as bad as this other person in group. I was personally turned off most by the 'higher power' nonsense.
@@talkinbout8159 trying to explain to my sponsor that I had a religion, but like it wasn’t an abrahamic faith so this weird master slave dynamic they were pushing isn’t really what I believed in, like the gods I believe in wouldn’t take credit for my triumphs and can’t absolve me of sin, there is mutual reciprocity. She told me to go to mass. Lol
@@linseyspolidoro5122 Hah! Mass, the cure all.
I haven’t done much in terms of psychedelics and in terms of actual drugs I’ve only done Cocaine 5 times and ecstasy once. But I enjoy mushrooms a lot, tried acid once and that was fun too. It’s nice to do mushrooms and sit back to watch a documentary or play a video game and deep dive into the world building ❤️ Mushrooms haven’t helped me with my alcoholism though 😕
Wait I smoked salvia once and that was brutal 😐 I somehow got stuck in a mental hallway that was very narrow and there were no doors. Then once I snapped back I couldn’t speak for a bit because I couldn’t get my jaws to unclench. It was too much and started laughing maniacally and shooting snot everywhere because I still couldn’t open my mouth. Not a fan and I’m good on trying it ever again.
I will say it wasn’t a hallway I could move through but I knew I was in a long hallway that was uncomfortably narrow and long.
Same, I'm good on salvia for the rest of my life
Psychedelics seem like the most interesting and beneficial type of drugs.
It's the only ones that challenge you!
Its like taking a huge mental sh*t, it may suck in the moment, but afterwards you feel great. Other drugs help you lie to yourself, you cant lie to yourself on psychedelics
What a nice young man
These videos always put me in a good mood
13:36 I’ve spent way too long trying to figure out which building is behind you, are you sitting in front of First Street in that?
I am not. A free hotdog to anyone that pinpoints that location
U gonna blow up real soon
Yo, now this video is for me. I love acid.
Nice try, Joe Rogan, but no matter how much you alter your voice, you wont get me to do DMT.
How about some elk meat?
@@talkinbout8159 Im sold
I'm schizophrenic.... not really a good idea for me to induce hallucinations haha
Nope, but the link between the two are very interesting! Anti-psychotics for schizophrenia actually block the effects of hallucinogens because they both target a common receptor.
Yee I hear some people try to use anti-psychotics to avoid getting flashbacks or to like quit the stuff. Idk I hate anti-psychotics they make me so damn sleepy and give me mush brain. I try telling my psychiatrist that I need something weaker so that I can take them more regularly, but they never listen to me because ohhh me so crazy, so I end up cutting them into 4ths. I've been off them for almost 5 years now tho. My mood has been more erratic, but like I also meditate and try to be mindful of myself and what's going on so my mood has been pretty regular. Also been trying to force myself into stressful situations since they tend to make me spiral. I'm an anxious person even when I was on anti-psychotics so idk I think there am brain issue I need to fix there. I think I want to try hallucinating on purpose down the road tho, maybe something mild just to learn to cope with them. I get them pretty regularly from looking at the sky, fabrics, and like solid color stuff I have that one blue sky eye meme, so I stare at them sometimes to just take it in and just let my brain do it's thing to get used to the idea that yeah sometimes I'm just gonna hear and see shit that isn't real. I want to try hallucinogenics to dive into my brain and just accept all it's flaws so I can be one with it instead of just trying to force it to calm down, so I can idk be more in touch with it, but at the same time idk haha why would I want my deffective brain in control of anything, I basically had a bad trip for like 8 months when I turned 19 and had a mental break and it was trash. Saw my family die and be disembowled and the world destroyed thought I was dead for like 2 days so idk, maybe not a good idea to do it since it could end up being permanent. I know it's a bad idea to go long stretches of time without treatment since I can relapse, but idk the traditional medical system treats me like a headcase moron, even though all my reports since I was 12 say highly conscious of self and others and highly inquisitive so like idk. I've thought about maybe buying my prescriptions illegally just to be able to medicate myself when I'm really having rough patches, but like why bother when I can just get into the system for a little while and leave once I get my pills. ughh I just want a doctor that understands I'm not a headcase or completely fragile mentally and just let me be comfortable figuring out how to live as close to a normal life as I can with my odd mental state.
Sorry about the wall of text I got all existential
@@moeneet7069 Lay it on me by all means.
I'm going to agree, without a doubt, that taking hallucinogens is a bad idea. It has the potential to go completely sideways and often does for those with prior conditions. That said, I am very impressed with your current lifestyle. Carving your own path to wellness, outside of our overprescribed healthcare system, is admirable. Meditating, knowing your triggers and how to avoid them, all these things take such patience and effort. Far too many people opt for medication or surgery to avoid putting in work. However, it would be great if you kept looking for a decent doctor as some things are out of our control. Took me a decade to find a doctor that understood my mind. It isn't easy, but its possible. Feel free to spam me with text anytime you want.
You are gonna blow up
I'm going to miss you
next vid coming soon! Halfway there...
The most I've ever done is weed, which just makes me shake constantly and stop thinking. I would definitely experiment more if I didn't have the looming fear of losing my job and getting kicked out of my degree program if I was caught. I'd try things that aren't even illegal, like antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, muscle relaxants, or dementia medications, just to see if they can improve my day-to-day life even slightly.
Always err on the side of caution! If you go into something mind altering paranoid it probably won't end well.
I looked at myself.
I looked at YOU.
so ego death is pretty much nihilism
Kurzgesagt did a video on it, optimistic nihilism
this is so fucking bizarre to watch after the small talk video, going from you calmly explaining foreign analogies for americans to explaining the opioid epidemic and america's stigma against drug culture is so weird when your tone never changes haha
Keep RUclips weird!
I'm sorry your friends laughed at you
they still do
I dont drink or do drugs :)
I don't understand a life without vice, but I respect it.
@@talkinbout8159 my vice is junk food and sodas haha, but your video was very interesting, thank you