47 - Company Picnic

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  • Опубликовано: 22 сен 2024
  • May 15, 2014 - Good news for the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area: StrexCorp is hosting its first ever Company Picnic. It is a fun, cheerful, mandatory event. Plus, an update on the troubling-making scientists, the election we cannot stop, and praise to a Smiling God.
    The voice of Lauren Mallard was Lauren Sharpe.
    The voice of Kevin was Kevin R. Free.
    Weather: "Stupid" by Brendan Maclean, brendanmaclean.com.
    Become a member on Patreon today to help us keep making Welcome to Night Vale and get cool stuff, like Director’s Notes, bonus episodes, and even a new character named after you.
    / welcometonightvale
    Music: Disparition, disparition.info
    Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com
    Produced by Commonplace Books. Written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.
    HEY WHY'S THERE NO VIDEO? Welcome to Night Vale is a audio podcast. All standard episodes have no video component. To subscribe to the podcast, go to iTunes, Stitcher, or find our RSS feed at nightvale.libsy...

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @saigayatrivemuri9034
    @saigayatrivemuri9034 7 лет назад +784

    I've come to the realisation that Strexcorp is a hyperbolic representation of our work culture in the 21st Century and now I hate them even more.

    • @roundishwhale
      @roundishwhale 7 лет назад +17

      Yeah I understand your Hate way to well...

    • @Takisan111
      @Takisan111 6 лет назад +78

      The way I've been looking at it, Desert Bluffs and Night Vale represent different political extremes. Desert Bluffs and Strexcorp represent a "right wing utopia" as imagined by someone left leaning and Night Vale and their secret police represent a "leftist utopia" as imagined by someone right leaning.

    • @MySerpentine
      @MySerpentine 4 года назад +15

      It's barely exaggerated. Triangle Shirtwaist Factory . . .

    • @0nullnil
      @0nullnil Год назад +4

      Yea I think it's becoming pretty relevant recently...

  • @MySerpentine
    @MySerpentine 9 лет назад +838

    I love how Kevin hates Lauren Mallard
    Even the weather hates her, in fact!

  • @msp654
    @msp654 8 лет назад +1436

    I have never wanted to fight any fictional characters more than I do right now

    • @Reefthedog2
      @Reefthedog2 7 лет назад +43

      Ikr! Kevin's voice pisses me off enough, but paired with Lauren's obnoxious presence too?
      Btw, I love your profile pic ;)

    • @EarthlyMaidenLita
      @EarthlyMaidenLita 7 лет назад +72

      Kevin's more tolerable I think...
      I hate Lauren, and so Kevin's constant snubbing of her is really enjoyable for me.

    • @frog_enthusiast347
      @frog_enthusiast347 7 лет назад +8

      WolfCat-Hybrid. I highly agree with you.

    • @corncob8814
      @corncob8814 6 лет назад +7

      We shall destroy Kevin

    • @river-rio8023
      @river-rio8023 6 лет назад +2

      same

  • @vicvulcan2725
    @vicvulcan2725 8 лет назад +953

    Back when I was listening to the first episodes, I always thought it was stupid how Cecil hates Desert Bluffs so much. Now I understand.

    • @SladeThirteen
      @SladeThirteen 7 лет назад +162

      it's so amazing how they have made Night Vale feel so cozy, in its own terrifying way... and thus making desert bluffs so much more dark and evil.

    • @DarkPrject
      @DarkPrject 7 лет назад +135

      Yeah. At least in Night Vale unspoken terrors only wanted to kill you, or drag you to some hellish dimension. Desert Bluffs wants to enslave you and act like everything's just peachy.

    • @Jepysauce
      @Jepysauce 5 лет назад +35

      Do you remember the one where Kevin and Cecil switch places etc.? Really good episode

  • @sumkramer1133
    @sumkramer1133 8 лет назад +950

    *hears kevins voice*
    *hisses at youtube*

  • @Giselle-en2xl
    @Giselle-en2xl 9 лет назад +1344

    I honestly don't know how Kevin speaks so cheerfully and then lowers his voice ever so briefly at the end of the sentence to make it sound so damn threatening.

    • @AerisRising
      @AerisRising 8 лет назад +52

      I have no idea but Kevin is great.

    • @maxpax3427
      @maxpax3427 5 лет назад +27

      He reminds me of Daniel from Camp Camp

    • @SunnyTheOpossum
      @SunnyTheOpossum 5 лет назад +5

      Giselle I KNOW! I kinda love it

    • @anvypieender5804
      @anvypieender5804 4 года назад +15

      Doesn’t his voice remind you of Olaf though? Like REAALLY SOUNDS LIKE HIM. But... evil. Evil Olaf.

  • @Samookely
    @Samookely 9 лет назад +925

    *hisses at the sound of Kevin's voice*

    • @a-fox-shaped-marshmellow3199
      @a-fox-shaped-marshmellow3199 8 лет назад +16

      I cringed so hard when I heard his voice

    • @fungalhog
      @fungalhog 8 лет назад +21

      I actually fell off my chair when I heard his voice

    • @Yunisca30
      @Yunisca30 8 лет назад +32

      +I like nice cream Oddly enough, I know a person who sounds like Kevin. However, unlike Kevin, he doesn't act like a brainwashed tool for a tyrannical monopolizing business empi- ALL HAIL STREX CORP.
      Erm. I blacked out there. What happened? Well anyway... Nice weather. :D

    • @_hazelnut.coffee_
      @_hazelnut.coffee_ 7 лет назад +4

      🌟 I like nice cream 🌟 same

    • @remanjecarter2787
      @remanjecarter2787 7 лет назад +5

      hisses at any hought of his name or standing

  • @arwenbella6829
    @arwenbella6829 7 лет назад +830

    Me: *complaining about desert bluffs*
    Lauren: "We recently arrested 5 scientists-"
    Me: *violently turns to my computer* ArE yOu KiDdInG mE?!?!
    EDIT:
    Lauren: "We couldn't find one scientist. One with such perfect hair-"
    Me: YEEEeeeEEeeEEsSSSS *throws empty water bottle*

    • @crow_bro_2883
      @crow_bro_2883 5 лет назад +12

      SAME!!!!

    • @nadiaenakai2236
      @nadiaenakai2236 5 лет назад +13

      I literally had the same reaction 😂

    • @nikareading8356
      @nikareading8356 3 года назад +32

      Meanwhile, I was in Instant Dread Mode because that means CARLOS IS STILL IN THE HOUSE THAT DOESN'T EXIST AND CANNOT LEAVE IT

    • @RetroRageasaurus
      @RetroRageasaurus 2 года назад +3

      _God, Desert Bluffs really STILL IS the worst XP_

    • @purplecatloverrandompizza
      @purplecatloverrandompizza Год назад +2

      I got SO WORRIED for a minute

  • @emileerainey2412
    @emileerainey2412 8 лет назад +1022

    *plays episode expecting Cecil's sweet voice and no mention of the uprising*
    *desert bluffs music*
    Me: *alarmed* *checks to make sure this is the right episode* *gets really worried about Cecil now*

    • @harrisonross2738
      @harrisonross2738 6 лет назад +66

      When I don't hear Cecil
      *Screams loudly in the fear of the unknown*

    • @Netherdan
      @Netherdan 6 лет назад +45

      Should we be worried about the boys in sales (the Shawns) and the "changes" in the room too? By Cecil's descriptions of Desert Bluff's radio station in The Sandstorm I'm assuming they decorated the room with their organs and that's why they "did a bit of a fuss" about it

    • @Netherdan
      @Netherdan 6 лет назад +5

      OK I SHOULDN'T HAVE PAUSED TO COMMENT THIS

  • @spaceturds
    @spaceturds 9 лет назад +504

    *screams in fear of the unknown*

    • @themousemage
      @themousemage 4 года назад +7

      Whole show in a nutshell, really.

    • @venotapplicable4376
      @venotapplicable4376 4 года назад +3

      *screams I'm ancient terror*

    • @meltyrat7819
      @meltyrat7819 4 года назад +3

      *screams in the house that doesn't exist*

    • @crow7636
      @crow7636 Год назад

      is this a tma reference

  • @zoeshepherd3561
    @zoeshepherd3561 8 лет назад +688

    My God is not a smiling one.

    • @roundishwhale
      @roundishwhale 7 лет назад +11

      Neither will be mine!

    • @cornishphilosopher
      @cornishphilosopher 7 лет назад +37

      We do not look around, we do not look inside, we do not go to sleep, our god is not a smiling god and we are ready for this war.

    • @MetasActReon
      @MetasActReon 6 лет назад +12

      My god is the dark planet.

    • @crov.0375
      @crov.0375 4 года назад +7

      My god is not mad, just disappointed.
      (Am I too late for this?)

    • @fluffypuppy4831
      @fluffypuppy4831 3 года назад +8

      my god is the glow cloud (ALL HAIL)

  • @EarthlyMaidenLita
    @EarthlyMaidenLita 8 лет назад +440

    Kevin is progressing from 'camp counselor I had at church camp once' to 'flamboyantly gay and possibly on an upper'.

    • @justokay4289
      @justokay4289 3 года назад +34

      "an upper" as if he's not on multiple uppers

    • @princessravendiamond4288
      @princessravendiamond4288 3 года назад +43

      First time I heard Kevin, I was surprised that sounds more stereotypically gay than Cecil

  • @pilotlee4463
    @pilotlee4463 8 лет назад +302

    ThIS iS NOt mY BabY

    • @sumkramer1133
      @sumkramer1133 8 лет назад +34

      i went to the next episode to hear my gay child's voice again not lauren's *cries*

  • @isabellanownes4843
    @isabellanownes4843 9 лет назад +255

    CECIL AND CARLOS AND TAMIKA BETTER BE OK OR ELSE STREXCORP!!

    • @anactualbird6801
      @anactualbird6801 5 лет назад +9

      AND CARLOS AND KOSHEK (IK I SPELLED THAT WRONG BUT IVE GIVEN UP BY NOW) DAMMIT

  • @merdip3643
    @merdip3643 8 лет назад +1291

    "can I call you Kev?"
    "Ahahahahahahah- no, Lauren. By no means."
    idk why but that part always makes me laugh XDXDXD

    • @TheLilacButterfly
      @TheLilacButterfly 5 лет назад +16

      I love it too much. 😂

    • @u-nicole7645
      @u-nicole7645 3 года назад +8

      "Thanks, Kevin..."

    • @a_jae_doe
      @a_jae_doe Год назад +3

      Kevin: I can excuse dictatorship but I draw the line at nicknames Lauren

  • @Ramonerdna
    @Ramonerdna 8 лет назад +636

    They always hinted at the fact that Strexcorp(and by extension Desert Bluffs) was waaayyy worse than Night Vale and I always thought theyd leave that as an abstract (since it was hard to imagine somewhere scarier than NightVale), but to hear them bring life to Strexcorp and have it actually be worse is simply awe inspiring

  • @ashleightompkins3200
    @ashleightompkins3200 9 лет назад +205

    Kevin.... Get the hell away from the microphone before the angels come and make you.

    • @ashleightompkins3200
      @ashleightompkins3200 9 лет назад +37

      Run Carlos!!! Before they get you! Save Cecil and be his hero!!

    • @existentialcrises1159
      @existentialcrises1159 8 лет назад +20

      Someone contact Old Woman Josie. She can contact the angels to Destroy strexcorp and bring back cecil.

    • @jonathansims967
      @jonathansims967 4 года назад +4

      angels aren't real, silly! but the tall figures who are definitely not angels might help!

  • @oswaldobarr4950
    @oswaldobarr4950 9 лет назад +251

    WHERE THE HELL IS CECIL!?!?!

  • @kyuubicat5
    @kyuubicat5 7 лет назад +192

    I don't really hate Kevin, but I hate Lauren and all of Strex Corp.

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 3 года назад +9

      Kevin's intensely flamboyant and extremely sassy nature makes him hard for me to hate. Lauren is like the standard office toadie, but Kevin is more complicated.
      His habit of taking digs at Lauren, the way he frequently seems to imply he actively hates her, the way he constantly drops bombs about how he's actually not happy and is in fact intensely broken...you can tell he has some awareness that StrexCorp is wrong, but he can't do much about it beyond mildly inconveniencing Lauren whenever he gets the chance.
      That, and his line delivery is *superb*.

  • @UnderAcheiver1
    @UnderAcheiver1 9 лет назад +232

    NO THE GUYS IN SALES

  • @judassb9190
    @judassb9190 8 лет назад +197

    I spit out my water when they hinted that all the Shauns blood was all over the walls

  • @johnniallen502
    @johnniallen502 8 лет назад +423

    I FEEL SORRY FOR BRAINWASHED KEVIN BUT I NEED CECIL BACK

    • @roachno.24
      @roachno.24 6 лет назад +40

      Johnni MCRX I don't think Kevin is brainwashed. When it first mentioned Desert Bluffs it hinted at it being way worse than Nightvale, including Cecil describing a terrible, bloody, recording studio and saying that when he and Kevin met in the weird hallway thing Kevin tried to kill him.

    • @themousemage
      @themousemage 4 года назад +10

      @@roachno.24 Have you listened to Triptych?

    • @roachno.24
      @roachno.24 4 года назад +3

      @@themousemage No, I listen to this show sporadically :/

    • @themousemage
      @themousemage 4 года назад +3

      @@roachno.24 I highly recommend that one if you want to learn more about Kevin. It's #73.
      ruclips.net/video/mJBmsoXW2K4/видео.html

    • @klltsun_2576
      @klltsun_2576 4 года назад +7

      mousemuffins My god, that episode. Tears were shed

  • @auroraeve3327
    @auroraeve3327 6 лет назад +87

    I have a theory. Night Vale and dessert bluffs are two ways people deal with depression. Night Vale accepts, succumbs and revels in the dark truths of life and finds comfort in the dark, the occult... Etc. And dessert bluffs has their fake smiles and work to death attitudes they use to distract themselves from all truths

  • @venusthebenus
    @venusthebenus 8 лет назад +1289

    me: peacefully writing while listening to meg speak
    lauren: starts speaking
    me: tenses up
    kevin: starts speaking
    me: **lauNCHES MYSELF FROM MY BED AND ONTO THE FLOOR**

    • @sitemeepop4014
      @sitemeepop4014 8 лет назад +39

      I started spasming and my slinky got all tangled

    • @ginnyleonard8537
      @ginnyleonard8537 8 лет назад +46

      All i wanted to do was play a nice game of tetris, but then the cheery music and the happy voices, and the voice of KEVIN and i fell out of my chair, and i lost my game. :(

    • @axeman2328
      @axeman2328 8 лет назад +70

      I had to rip my ears off and leave them on my blood stone.
      Wait.
      It's strex.
      they know about my secret blood stone.
      if I do not respond, assume the worst and prey for me

    • @nicolelizbith2264
      @nicolelizbith2264 7 лет назад +20

      Renee Cooperider SAME IM IN FRENCH AND THE CLASS WAS QUIET AND I LITERALLY SQUEAKED IM SO MAD

    • @exoticbutters3631
      @exoticbutters3631 7 лет назад +21

      my clenched fists left marks from my nails

  • @stevdawizard392
    @stevdawizard392 8 лет назад +243

    Kevin you have your flair but Cecil belong on the air

  • @Kittymouth
    @Kittymouth 9 лет назад +375

    Ha! Joke's on THEM! I've been in quarentine since the wheat and wheat by-product incident! Your little picnic is meaningless, Strex goons!
    Desert Bluffs is as bad at indeffinate detainment as they are at everything else. They are just DREADFUL.

    • @assassinfox24
      @assassinfox24 8 лет назад +19

      The council supports you.

    • @draco0rex
      @draco0rex 8 лет назад +16

      +A.M. good news, your next shipment of pizza is in your fireplace

    • @Kittymouth
      @Kittymouth 8 лет назад +16

      Draco Rex Oh praise the Beams! I was getting so hungry.
      So very, very hungry....

    • @draco0rex
      @draco0rex 8 лет назад +12

      no worries, we are here to serve.

    • @Kittymouth
      @Kittymouth 8 лет назад +9

      Draco Rex Now I just need to find a fireplace, and I'll be set.

  • @emilyholland279
    @emilyholland279 8 лет назад +345

    *physically cringes at the sound of Kevin's voice*

  • @aidanshaughnessy6692
    @aidanshaughnessy6692 4 года назад +42

    "The boys in sales came by and with their help I was able to make this studio feel a little more like home!"
    Oh nonononononono

  • @connorthecorner836
    @connorthecorner836 8 лет назад +322

    I WAS SEWING WHILE WATCHING THIS AND I STABBED MYSELF MULTIPLE TIME IN ANGER

  • @arturoreyescortez2476
    @arturoreyescortez2476 8 лет назад +186

    Kevin and Lauren are so annoying! I can't stand how these awful capitalists that worship an eldritch abomanition destroy the beauty of Night Vale! I miss Cecil's speeches about grimdark topics and life in general, and his development as a complex character. Kevin is just a monster! I hope Carlos is okay.

  • @Yellow13Firestorm
    @Yellow13Firestorm 9 лет назад +145

    WEDNESDAY IS BACK!? YOU MONSTERS!!

  • @raymckane1286
    @raymckane1286 8 лет назад +666

    WHERE TF IS MY CINNAMON ROLL AND HIS PERFECT HAIRED CINNAMON SCIENCE BUN I AM TRIGGERED

    • @tillyhyena3580
      @tillyhyena3580 7 лет назад +18

      Daniel the Spaniel WAIT IS HE STUCK IN THE HOUSE?

    • @kennywilliams3035
      @kennywilliams3035 7 лет назад +4

      very sad human i both hate and love you for this

  • @Sigmundfruit
    @Sigmundfruit 8 лет назад +120

    Kevin you read creepypasta for a living and no one will admit to it but I know that voice

    • @indianasushi1392
      @indianasushi1392 6 лет назад +4

      Sigmund Fruit he sounds to me like yogcast sips

  • @jamesscoggin860
    @jamesscoggin860 9 лет назад +151

    So, today's weather kind of gave me images of all the poor Night Vale citizens being forced to "enjoy" the company picnic... Much like that event, the song sounds happy so long as you aren't paying any attention to the lyrics or details in the former's case.

  • @groppolo1058
    @groppolo1058 8 лет назад +89

    So the Shawns were beaten to death and their blood was used on the walls and desk?
    #DesertBluffsMuch

  • @DreamieMomo
    @DreamieMomo 6 лет назад +101

    Listening to Kevin is always so strange. He sounds and talks just like my family doctor! I did not trust my family doctor at first. His smile was always so wide. I've never seen a smile like that before. But I know better now. Yes. I know better.

  • @KhepriProd
    @KhepriProd 8 лет назад +77

    Also, remember, Cecil's mom said "One day you will die, Cecil, and it will involve a mirror. Kevin is going to kill Cecil.

    • @floofmcgoof8196
      @floofmcgoof8196 8 лет назад +4

      No no no no oh god

    • @andromedadywn9090
      @andromedadywn9090 5 лет назад +6

      ....he already died lmao

    • @satarupagingerkolay
      @satarupagingerkolay 3 года назад +7

      Well then Kevin better start counting his days because I'm about to drop a mountain (which I know is not real) on his yellow head.

    • @dragonlady3852
      @dragonlady3852 2 года назад +2

      Kevin is Cecil’s mirror his double!!!

    • @alec-ih9cm
      @alec-ih9cm Год назад

      ​@@andromedadywn9090 who did?!?

  • @kiyosheep8768
    @kiyosheep8768 2 года назад +87

    " You can see the Shauns' contributions all. Over. The. DESK."
    THIS! This is the line that made me fall for Kevin's character! I don't think people give him enough credit for his performance on this show!

    • @Child_of_the_Void
      @Child_of_the_Void Год назад +2

      His office at Desert Bluffs was covered in animal gore

    • @segadoeswhatnintendont
      @segadoeswhatnintendont Год назад +5

      @@Child_of_the_Void sure... animals...

    • @bluemagician9724
      @bluemagician9724 Год назад +2

      Honestly I don't even need the gore to hate Kevin, I don't need the Strexcorp takeover (although that sure helps), I don't need fact that he's enslaved by a world-ending light, all I need is that overacted Stepford positivity and that infantile way of talking and I want to fashion a soft-meats crown from his entrails, then discard said crown without wearing it.

  • @horseloversupreme
    @horseloversupreme 8 лет назад +119

    i started this episode hating kevin and then realized that he's really not at fault here and is completely brainwashed. just listen to him the poor guy
    he's still not my fave but jesus,,,

  • @itsprobablysabrina5133
    @itsprobablysabrina5133 8 лет назад +179

    This episode is actually really really terrifying, but you have to admit the weather is good

    • @smileunicornsloveyou
      @smileunicornsloveyou 8 лет назад +9

      yeah, I believe in part of it he says "we'd adopt, we'd have dogs. I've got everything he's got." and the implications of that make me feel awful for the dude.

  • @Drace90
    @Drace90 9 лет назад +156

    Dreams are just nightmares in which you wake up before the horror starts.

  • @mysteriawayne-grayson5004
    @mysteriawayne-grayson5004 8 лет назад +241

    Desert Bluffs is a good deal more horrifying when you're just shy of in love with a guy named Sean.
    Listeners, do not give your heart to a Sean.
    He'll end up as decoration.

    • @HumbleWolves
      @HumbleWolves 6 лет назад +9

      I gave it to him last Christmas...

    • @icyfrosting6388
      @icyfrosting6388 Год назад +1

      ​@@HumbleWolves My brother made that mistake too, he came back, never the same

    • @DaddyIsntDoneSpeaking
      @DaddyIsntDoneSpeaking Год назад

      ​@@HumbleWolves Did he give it away the very next day?

    • @joshuafass5841
      @joshuafass5841 Год назад +1

      Desert bluffs is the hell dimension.

  • @dylanjharber
    @dylanjharber 8 лет назад +80

    but... Wednesday is canceled due to scheduling errors ;-;

  • @OneTrueBelmont
    @OneTrueBelmont 9 лет назад +102

    I see Carlos downvoted this broadcast.

    • @Tigerlilly-lx5zz
      @Tigerlilly-lx5zz 9 лет назад +17

      And Cecil and The Man in The Tan Suit.

    • @coyotezzz
      @coyotezzz 9 лет назад +23

      And John Peters, you know, the farmer.
      And Old Woman Jose, who's angels have left her.
      And poor, poor Kaushik.
      And our lost former intern Dana.
      Siiiiiiiigh...

    • @trashedeggnog3858
      @trashedeggnog3858 7 лет назад +7

      OneTrueBelmont
      and tamika and her friends

    • @jessl6820
      @jessl6820 6 лет назад +3

      And us.

    • @requiem8841
      @requiem8841 6 лет назад +1

      im guessing you mean khoshekh aka wtf is that name

  • @bees288
    @bees288 7 лет назад +87

    thanks kev! can i call you kev?
    hahahahaha! by no means, lauren!
    thanks, kevin!

  • @cornishphilosopher
    @cornishphilosopher 7 лет назад +78

    When I first heard this I was walking down a street at about 10 o'clock at night, Lauren stated talking and I was unhappy, she called Night Vale Destert Bluffs, and I was angry, the music started and I was seething... Kevin started talking and I had to pause it so I could shout "I bloody knew it! I knew it would be you, you eye less bastard!" Then I calmed down a bit and listened to the end of the episode, but it was hard.

  • @piratehalfdroid7370
    @piratehalfdroid7370 4 года назад +33

    Lauren: *starts talking*
    Me: *Turns to my phone, eyes wider than an owl, glaring at my phone with prejudice.*
    My phone: *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

  • @nochill1233
    @nochill1233 7 лет назад +55

    Kevin and Lauren: *Talk*
    Me: End me

  • @pablokult248
    @pablokult248 8 лет назад +45

    I'm so worried about Cecil rn, at least Carlos managed to escape

  • @Beeimus
    @Beeimus 9 лет назад +256

    The intro. Dash Con?
    *breaks out into hysterical laughter*

    • @Xel963
      @Xel963 9 лет назад +35

      Truly the scariest part of the whole show. :P

    • @BlackCatFang
      @BlackCatFang 9 лет назад +19

      Shelby Nawalaniec I did the same thing. We all know how that one turned out.

    • @colette4650
      @colette4650 9 лет назад +6

      Kimberly Pendleton I started cackling

    • @ZetaAbernathy
      @ZetaAbernathy 9 лет назад

      Shelby Nawalaniec same.

    • @thevideogameempire
      @thevideogameempire 9 лет назад +18

      +Shelby Nawalaniec pay for an extra hour in the ball pit

  • @akirashwarz5904
    @akirashwarz5904 8 лет назад +109

    "THATS NOT MY BABY"

  • @GiovanniCloud
    @GiovanniCloud 6 лет назад +46

    Tamika will get out. She's to tough to be captured.

  • @notpoland2809
    @notpoland2809 6 лет назад +40

    It's weird how much more terrifying this is than the normal show. I mean, they're not saying anything actually that terrifying, but I am legit shivering now

  • @ivangobang5966
    @ivangobang5966 8 лет назад +51

    The moment I heard desert bluffs I screamed so loud that my dad came up stairs with his rifle and asked me what was wrong.I replied with desert bluffs

  • @belladonnapoe9723
    @belladonnapoe9723 8 лет назад +43

    Noooo! Not the Shawns! I liked the Shawns!
    DAMN YOU STREX CORP! BRING BACK CECIL AND CLEAN THIS RADIO STATION UP!

  • @Aquavenn
    @Aquavenn 7 лет назад +50

    so kev, can i call you kev *about to go on talking as she knows the answer is yes*
    nO.
    *the look on her face, temple twitching as she smiles through her gritted teeth and continues talking*

    • @EarthlyMaidenLita
      @EarthlyMaidenLita 7 лет назад +13

      I sort of imagine Kevin looking like he's genuinely laughing, and then(still smiling), giving Lauren this horrible death glare when she asks to call him 'Kev'. Like, the most hideous expression you could imagine, everywhere but the smile.

    • @Aquavenn
      @Aquavenn 7 лет назад +1

      yes yes!!

  • @futurefastapproaches3318
    @futurefastapproaches3318 4 года назад +33

    Me at the beginning of this episode: Ooh I can't wait to find out how that cliffhanger resolved!
    Me once I hear Lauren's voice at the beginning: NO NO NO WHERE IS MY CECIL!

  • @TheLilacButterfly
    @TheLilacButterfly 5 лет назад +24

    Kevin: It makes any crimes that happen today, feel *justified.*
    Me: ...welp, I'm scared.

  • @raebaer8580
    @raebaer8580 3 года назад +14

    the weather has no business being this good on an episode narrated by Kevin and Lauren

  • @PennyDreadfulADA
    @PennyDreadfulADA 8 лет назад +34

    Really great weather at the company pick-nick
    (Dear god save us.)

  • @smol_chilli_pepper
    @smol_chilli_pepper 9 лет назад +125

    Is it weird that I still like kevin? I think he's truly a sweet person he's just so brainwashed by strexcorp that blood and gore is beautiful to him. but did you hear how sarcastic he sounded when Lauren asked if she could call him kev, I died. nobody likes Lauren not even sweet little brainwashed kevin.

    • @kaitlyn6666
      @kaitlyn6666 7 лет назад +4

      1210Nique I'm so happy I found someone who agrees! I adore Kevin

    • @georgia860
      @georgia860 7 лет назад +16

      I both love and hate Kevin, he's just one of those characters you should hate but actually like.

  • @smol_chilli_pepper
    @smol_chilli_pepper 9 лет назад +53

    Where the hell is cecil?! he better be okay. I hope carlos finds him and rescues him from strexcorp

  • @mikeallevesque18
    @mikeallevesque18 6 лет назад +14

    My baby Kevin is so passive aggressive to Lauren and I love it

  • @theysaylikewhoop
    @theysaylikewhoop 9 лет назад +19

    Lauren: "I'll miss the Shawns.."
    Me: *screams*

  • @chillsahoy2640
    @chillsahoy2640 4 года назад +15

    Props to Lauren and Kevin (the voice actors) for the incredible job they've done here. Also, I totally love/despise Lauren and Kevin (the characters) for being so mean to Cecil and to the citizens of Night Vale.

  • @notoriouswhitemoth
    @notoriouswhitemoth 9 лет назад +101

    hate.
    Hate.
    Hate!
    HATE!
    _HATE!_
    *_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_*

  • @johnniallen502
    @johnniallen502 8 лет назад +20

    OH MY GOD THEY KILLED THE SHAWNS

  • @feralwitch9846
    @feralwitch9846 4 года назад +17

    It's episodes like this that remind me that WTNV is at its core a satire of America and our capitalist, work-centric society that idolizes positivity and religion to a point where both become toxic. I love this podcast, but I hate being reminded that this is the type of society I live in and am forced to abide by its rules and ideals if I wish to survive.

  • @circependragon1201
    @circependragon1201 6 лет назад +19

    I'd rather go to Re-education for ten weeks than have my life dictated by Strex for a single day

  • @AerisRising
    @AerisRising 8 лет назад +54

    Why do I love Kevin. Sos. He makes me smile ;-;

    • @AerisRising
      @AerisRising 8 лет назад +4

      Sms(Save my soul)

    • @EarthlyMaidenLita
      @EarthlyMaidenLita 8 лет назад +31

      +Potato the Raptor Kevin is cheery and sassy and...maybe flamboyantly gay and definitely on some sort of upper.
      I hate Lauren, but Kevin kinda...I dunno, I feel bad for him. Stuff he says in these next couple podcasts make me...concerned. "I feel nothing..."

  • @izzybean9737
    @izzybean9737 4 года назад +13

    Me: **hears Lauren** oh it's okay maybe it's just Dana and everything is fine.
    Me: **hears the Desert Bluffs intro** wait
    Me: **Hears Kevin's voice** WAIT

  • @D.C.T.23
    @D.C.T.23 9 лет назад +88

    OH GOD! A DESERT BLUFFS SHOW!!! Hold up, I need to peel my ear-balls out.

    • @Tigerlilly-lx5zz
      @Tigerlilly-lx5zz 9 лет назад +2

      Here let me help you if you help me.

    • @D.C.T.23
      @D.C.T.23 9 лет назад +2

      Tigerlilly 1313 What do you need help with, tigerlilly? My ear-balls are still unpeeled.

    • @Tigerlilly-lx5zz
      @Tigerlilly-lx5zz 9 лет назад

      Dustopia 47 please peel my ear balls out.

    • @D.C.T.23
      @D.C.T.23 9 лет назад +1

      Tigerlilly 1313 Three steps ahead of you, meet me at the nearest gas station in twenty minutes.

    • @Tigerlilly-lx5zz
      @Tigerlilly-lx5zz 8 лет назад +2

      +Cecil Palmer alright here this had better not be a trick by those filthy strexcorps liars.

  • @valuskajana
    @valuskajana 8 лет назад +47

    WHERE'S MY CECIL

  • @AnnoyedGirlKami
    @AnnoyedGirlKami 9 лет назад +40

    Desert bluffs really does terrify me

  • @BolinForever
    @BolinForever 9 лет назад +60

    **heavy nervous breathing*
    **sweating*
    **hissing*
    ((Ceeeeeeciilllll heeellllp))

  • @snowdayplease
    @snowdayplease 9 лет назад +7

    Kevin and Lauren have such a fantastic rapport. They play off each other so well and their cheerful, barely-masked hatred of each other is hilarious.

  • @psdnmstr4609
    @psdnmstr4609 2 года назад +4

    This episode fills me with such incandescent rage that it defies both description and comprehension.

  • @NovaStella_
    @NovaStella_ 9 лет назад +27

    WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Cecil! You need to kill your double immediately!!

    • @NovaStella_
      @NovaStella_ 9 лет назад +1

      +Laura Moore LISTENING TO THIS AGAIN AND MY HEART FRIGGIN HURTS AND I STILL HATE THIS, WHY AM I STILL CRYING FROM THE LAST EPISODE AND I'M FROWNING SO HARD RIGHT NOW WHY DOES THIS SHOW DO THIS TO ME
      * sobs in the corner *

  • @jonathanbright6191
    @jonathanbright6191 8 лет назад +35

    Why do I feel like Strexcorp and how they talk about work vs life is a exaggerated take on how America is now to the average American worker trying to live life. Maybe I am looking too far into it.

  • @latte8626
    @latte8626 7 лет назад +13

    I was listening to this as I was falling asleep, and at the part when he said, "Go to sleep" in the creepy voice, I freaked out a little.

  • @oliviasimmons9984
    @oliviasimmons9984 7 лет назад +4

    I've never flinched so hard as I did when I heard Kevin's voice

  • @wynnt1
    @wynnt1 6 лет назад +16

    Strexcorp. Go to sleep
    Me: No! Only 2 people can tell me to go to sleep and you certainly aren't either of them. (Jeff the killer and Cecil)

  • @corncob8814
    @corncob8814 6 лет назад +16

    I love how all the comments are just
    *hisses at the sound of Kevin's voice*
    Or
    WHERE IS CECIL THIS ISN'T OKAY
    Or
    Lol I love how even Kevin hates Lauren
    Because I agree to all of the above

  • @BionicleFreek99
    @BionicleFreek99 6 лет назад +12

    *reaches out to the dark planet of awesome size, lit by no sun*

  • @64solar
    @64solar 7 лет назад +18

    where.
    is.
    cecil.

  • @vprince1173
    @vprince1173 5 лет назад +6

    The casting of Kevin is en pointe. He uses tone so well.

  • @UnicornstarLight
    @UnicornstarLight 9 лет назад +16

    Heard Kevin voice....knows s**t got real...Where my baby Celic!!!

  • @blaire1559
    @blaire1559 7 лет назад +18

    Begins podcast
    smiles
    grins
    smiles
    laughs
    *drops glass*
    *spits out water*
    *LET*
    *CECIL*
    *GO*
    *NOW*
    steely gaze

  • @technopoptart
    @technopoptart 7 лет назад +12

    gosh, the weather is hella bitter today

  • @Liandra24
    @Liandra24 4 года назад +2

    I started to quietly scream in my throat as I read the description and constantly dabbed my eyes to keep myself from outright crying.

  • @D.C.T.23
    @D.C.T.23 9 лет назад +9

    OH GOD! CARLOS IS TRAPPED IN THE *OTHER* PLACE!

  • @proxymodel742
    @proxymodel742 8 лет назад +15

    Those 14 dislikes are the survivors who have yet to be captured.

  • @AnnaPresman
    @AnnaPresman 7 лет назад +12

    I fucking love Kevin.

  • @greenninjagal
    @greenninjagal 8 лет назад +12

    DEAR GOD NO WHERE'S CECIL GO AWAY KEVIN

  • @futurefastapproaches3318
    @futurefastapproaches3318 4 года назад +4

    Noooooo if they took the 5 scientists that were with Carlos, what if he's stuck in the house that doesn't exist?!

    • @clownguyman
      @clownguyman 4 года назад +1

      I don't like this comment
      it makes me feels things

  • @remynisce.
    @remynisce. 4 года назад +4

    ok i know this episode is PACKED and all, but... is anyone gonna talk about how good the weather was?

  • @hamboz8976
    @hamboz8976 7 лет назад +6

    Once Kevin came from nowhere I threw my computer out of my barely existing window.

  • @fruitygarlic3601
    @fruitygarlic3601 6 лет назад +6

    Did Lauren and Kevin really just kill all five Shawn's so they could cover the office in their blood like back in DB? Is this an interior design trend I should keep my extra eye on?

  • @klltsun_2576
    @klltsun_2576 4 года назад +3

    I'm relistening to the whole podcast, and now I'm just laughing at this. Especially whenever Kevin suddenly switches from cheery to not-cheery.
    "Head on over right now~
    ...Do iiit~
    ... *Do it now*
    "All over the *desk* "

  • @francabanillas813
    @francabanillas813 7 лет назад +12

    Wow, and I thought Umbridge was the character I hated the most