BTT# 83 - Men's 5 Biggest Mistakes With Women
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- In todays show, Troy Francis joins me to talk about the 5 biggest mistakes men make with women, that lead to train wrecks in their lives. In this show we will discuss the following 5 points.
1) oneitis
2) manipulative and gold digging women
3) drama queens and energy vampires
4) transactional sex
5) reduce the likelihood of cuckoldry
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Hi. Just come across your channel, enjoying the content so far. Is you book available in Audio format at all? I can obviously get it via Kindle (here in the UK) but i've been getting on quite well with audio books recently to make use of unproductive time. If not no worries, i'll look to get in via Kindle, but it might take me longer to digest and get through it :) Thanks.
I learned at a very early age (22) that ”you are only renting it” and your goal is to have fun while it's your turn
Love this. I rented so many before I turned 35. Now that I am 40, I learned that the last five years I was trying to own. Lessons learned
Truth.
True.
Straight facts 👌🏼 listen and learn, comment is on point.
Good discussion. I was the youngest child and very spoiled by my mother and sisters. I like being spoiled by my husband too. He buys me jewelry and brings me flowers. He cooks and fixes things. He has a great sense of humor and entertains me. We've been married for 30 years. He is my lover and my best friend.
This might have been Rich's quote, that women are never embarrassed, but they are always offended. So true.
24yrs old and grateful for this information. Everything the red pill teaches comes to fruition. Keep up the good work.
I’m 23 and feel the same way
I too am 24
Same
15 and same
@@ankitnarayan31 15 yo? I wish I knew red pill knowledge as early as you.
As my dad would say, " Any fool knows his mother, a smart man knows his father." 😂
It’s the neurochemicals which cause Oneitis.
And yes, it is absolutely crippling.
And yet, if it exists, evolution did create it, because it's useful for something (parental investment). Isn't blocking it going to be as catastrophic as ovulation blocking was?
@@mrgomelonsolaris I would not suggest trying to medicate yourself or manipulate your chemical balances to get away from fixation. The more distance you can create and maintain, the more you will condition your body to behave differently.
I'm stuck in one itice and trying to get over it. This subject was perfect timing
Good point about the energy vampirism. In practical terms you really just gotta keep it simple - if you repeatedly feel drained, burnt out and anxious after spending time with her - you gotta get out before it eats you up, because it will.
In theoretical terms though; I was with someone like this a while ago, and it took me a long time after we separated to grasp what the problem was. We could have the most romantic and exciting weekends together, but at the end I would always leave feeling exhausted and confused, and I could never figure out why. There was just something wrong, something missing, but the reason was always a mystery.
In this case she was mild BPD, but lots of women can be like this for various reasons. In any case, the reason you feel drained is that your subconscious is working overtime looking for patterns that it can recognize and relate to, but it never finds them. The conscious mind sees the person in front of you, but the subconscious sees empty space and can’t reconcile it.
This is why you feel drained. Your brain is burnt out from trying to determine whether this person really ‘exists’ in the way that you would expect them to. You are pouring mental and emotional energy into a black hole trying to solve the enigma, but you’re not getting anywhere and none of the energy is being reciprocated.
Energy vampires are sad, empty, and desperate people, but your gut will screen them out if you listen to it and trust it. 😎
Very well put, never thought of it that way but it makes perfect sense
Cheers
Man, I've read halfway so far and it is soo true. You just really couldn't say it any truer or better. Let me finish reading the rest.
It's furtmore a proof that our bodies control most of their functions automatically. We can only consciously process thoughts and control muscles but that's about it. There's a whole load of processes that run in the background, which is why we need to work in tandem with them and treat our bodies right.
I would add that most of the time you realize that your person is an energy vampire after you part ways. After few weeks of loneliness you suddenly perk up and get on with your life with new vigor and energy. As noted energy vampires are usually bpd’s or narcs - I love the description of having your brain trying to reconcile your logical observations with your feelings. Dog chasing tail comes to mind.
Yea, I had it. I had options with other women but it was still tough. I had to walk away and cut it off completely. I was going down hill fast. The distraction was brutal. Pulled me off my purpose.
Best way to avoid *oneitis* is don't sleep with them till you find out who they truly are. More often than not, you find out who they truly are... You're not going to want to sleep with em anyhow. If you're needing/hungering for the intimacy more than she is. You've already lost anyhow.
100% true man. Thats why its very important to have options and be dating several women at the same time and thus not get obsessed with any. That indiference will make you seem more valuable and consequently more attractive.
FACTS!!! Same thing goes for women dating men. Vetting is very important. Especially, in this day and age.
I exactly did this and dodged a bullet.
Biz Markie was warning us about when she says he’s just a friend back in 1989.
Tom leykis was doing it too.
1. 1:42
2. 12:26
3. 28:26
4. 38:31
5.
Thank you
@@empiricalscout4537 you're welcome
Gift to humanity thanks king 👑 u never miss
Love when Troy say's 'Don't reward bad behaviour'...we were told that about our kids when they were about 2 years old.!
With women’s, friends, employees, and business associates, always hire slowly and fire fast.....Richard Cooper. ( The Unplugged ALPHA)
Some of the greatest advice ever. 👏🤝👍🙏
It's the HOPE that the situation with the OneItis Girl will change to 'whatever it is you want' that keeps you attached to an unhelpful relationship. You need to recognise that HOPE is unrealsitic/false/not based on real world feedback, as a the 1st step of cutting it off.
It is shocking to learn that transactional sex happens so often in normal relationships.
It is proof of how poorly women develop their own sexuality. If having sex with your man is akin to washing the dishes, it shows how women are completely dysfunctional regarding sexuality, orgasm, intimacy and real female/male connection.
IMO this is the result of a highly sexualized culture where women are taught how to look and act “sexy” but are taught nothing about their own sexuality, orgasm, etc. These are still taboo subjects even among women.
Thanks Rich and Troy. I am a 46 y-o woman learning a lot about female behavior from your content. You are very intelligent and eloquent. I greatly enjoy your videos.
Best played at 0.5 speed, they both sound stoned 😎
I tried it...to me Rich sounds even more disinterested...if that's even possible
@@myoman1977 That's because it's hard to stay interested when someone drags the conversation like that :D
@@TheJackOfAllTrades777 try the little settings gear where you adjust the quality - find "playback speed"
Play it at 2x speed and it sounds like they’re on coke
did it, excellent advice
I agree with all of this except the hypnosis part...be very careful with that! I say don't even dabble with that part. Keep yourself so busy that thoughts of her don't have a place and when they do come into your mind block them up out...don't let them linger.
Recovering from oneightous. Thanks for this info and knowing other men had the same issue
5:15 bro you didn't think she might be bad news when she was cheating on her boyfriend 10 times a day with you? Bells and sirens bro
Love the honesty gentlemen, it helps us all
WOW. Had no idea how deep the programming ran! Watching Simpson's and I gotta say- homer is the DOPE! Never good enough for Marge yet she begrudgingly accepts him- and than theres flander! The king of all BETAS! And he is THE MAN! -Terrible message but a big eye opener for how deep the programming runs! Keep up the good work! Keep opening mens eyes to the truth!
Great conversation guys....
About the oneitis. Here’s my two cents:
1. I think it’s unavoidable for a million different reasons already discussed by yourself and others. I also think you kind of have to live it in order to avoid it.
2. I’ve had it really bad twice in my life. Each time I was spending way too much time communicating with and catering to the girl. So the key, for me, is to recognize the signs of an unhealthy attachment and limit the amount of time and mental embers I’m spending on her. Not easy to do I know. But it’s really your only course of action.
Energy not embers...but I guess that kind of makes sense too
Good comment. I can relate. And yes, embers works too lol
4:35 This is amazing! That story that Troy tells in the beginning exactly happened to me, almost word for word. If you lived here in Prague, Troy, I'd almost say it was the same woman :)
Oneitis doesn't always come from a lack of abundance per se but also from a lack of abundance of a certain type of woman. When the right combination of characteristics/interests meets in that one person, you might find it hard to believe that another one might be the right cocktail too. And when that one we fall for has something that the others rarely do, it's a big problem for us when she lets go.
I wish you could make an episode where you go deep into the topic of friendzone and oneitis.
I’m learning a lot. Thank you champs
Great point from Francis about LTR in terms of time frame.
Never let Steve from accounting edit ur books again...
Underrated ...
I'm 48 pushing 49... And the woman I've been seeing for 2 years is really pressing for the next level. I have to admit I'm a bit torn... Don't know what to do.
Do what is best for you, only and always. If the next level is best for you and you are willing to take the risks, good if not good. Just don't capitulate to whining and crying even if it means it's gonna end.
Then don't. Read my book.
If your questioning now you will be when your shackled too!
Improve your smv while giving her the no. Use consistant reasoning about why you "can't" marry but you can be capably committed.
Men at our age (i'm 51) have absolutely NO NO NO reason to get married. Putting pressure on you is a manipulation tactic. Don't ever let anyone control you. If she knows you'll fine without her it keeps her on her best behavior. Watch these vids and learn the truth.
Have you noticed something about Red Pill Men - they're all very intelligent , you'll notice this as a common trait among them
For me it was hard for her to tell me she did not want me anymore. And when she told me that I have never called her It has been 6 months since that happened. I have More more money I bought a jeep and really I don't miss her anymore. I realized life is so much better without her. And I have met so many quality women.
Sounds like Narcissist. They chemically bond you with the dopamine
If dopamine is a drug, think of a cocaine dealer selling you coke every now and then; just dangling it above your head enjoying you do backflips to get another whiff.
@@the6ixman416 This is so true
Steve Pre, Steve Prefontaine, University of Oregon runner. Ground breaking athlete.
Hey Rich i'm so glad i found this channel and enjoy the content. I'm 50 years old never been married (so relieved of that) been engaged twice...never again. I spend my time working out and bike riding, chasing excellence not women. I plan on getting your book and reading it. Thanks again for the content you put out that i have been aware of, but you put it in a better perspective.
You you have kids?
Great stuff, love Troy and hearing his advice.
Troy, the never smiling gent.
Thanks, guys!
Infield demos sounds great, always best to teach by example.
Greqt guest. This insights are spot on.
Why don’t you ever have Shawn on here anymore? His insight was great.
Been covered already, he needed a break.
@@EntrepreneursInCars hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Which Shawn is this? Can you link to his channel please?
Shawn Michaels always knew how to keep frame. "Oohhh, oohhh Shaaaaawn."
I always hate the "If you loved me you would know" which is similar to "If you loved me you would read my mind".
I have a friend, long out of the dating game, who went on a date. He could see his date was not happy, and he asked her what's wrong? She said "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you." That's when he turned the car around and took herself back home. No other words were spoken until he pulled up to her place, and then he said two more words- Get out!
In my estimation, he did the right thing.
@@Ace.0.0.0. He dodged a bullet there... Men hate childish and stupid mind games..
My exwife is like that
Hey I feel like your audio is a bit washed out on the lows. Francis sounds very clear but your audio sounds bassy and makes it harder to understand especially across the crisp audio on the other side.
Just a tiny nitpicking observation, love your work, I wish I'd found you a year earlier, had oneittis earlier this year and going into my red pill jouney over the last few months. I was already a bachelor for the most part but definitely blue pilled. No longer thanks to you and a few others, keep up this NECESSARY work.
Invest in you only. And reap the rewards and enjoy them on your terms. Don't forget how good it is to be totaly free. Besides, there is just too many of them out there, to bother with THE one that stops this good life you built. At 70, I'll make a killing with semi-retiered "silvers".
Great content guys... Thank you and well done...
If you are a man or woman and currently sleeping on a sofa/sofa-bed.......and in a marriage...by law in Britain, it's ABUSE!!!
saw a interesting video from Rabbi Friedman about deeper connection in tinder age.. Wonderfull he said love is the worst thing in a marriage hahahah
I saw alfie, and i feel sometimes like that guy, i dated a lot, but this Chrismas alone again. Or.. i have to get back with my ex gf who took me for granted. Love is 2020 seems like a loosing game
You really want to hear a woman admit to some dark sh*t.
When I hear about men who kill themselves after a woman dumps them... My heart gives a little bounce.
Because it reinforces what I DESIRE to be true... That men truly madly deeply love women.
But of course I DO NOT want a guy who would kill himself if I dumped him... because I want a guy who can rise above his base emotions and be a functioning ADULT, who knows that life goes on without me.
To put it bluntly I think most women are like this. They want a guy who DESIRES to cater to your every whim... But who does NOT because she wants to be with an ADULT who has other responsibilities: work, friends, family, religious etc.
Wow That was AWESOME!!! I was only going to watch a little bit as I saw that it was 56mins long... Ended up watching the whole thing... Some Truly Amazing Advise with some Excellent Advise to live by... Thank You Rich & Troy... Really Interesting & Just Brilliant ;-)
Solid one guys, thanks.
Rich: get some Xmas decorations up, man!
That war brides shit is the worst. Most mind boggling thing ever
Do you have an email to ask a question or bring up a topic?
Damn, "dumped by LTR and a year later she's living three doors down with my neighbor"? Maybe that neighbor was using those attraction soaps. Better buy yours.
"She is never taken, it is just your turn"
What a great video this is 👍👍
Anybody know why Troy was wearing a dinner suit in the video?
Guys, if she gives you the silent treatment and won’t tell you what’s wrong despite your asking - you either ignore her or simply exit the situation.
Return when she is ready to be an adult again, but the more you follow her around trying to ‘fix’ the problem, the worse it gets for the both of you.
If a woman ignores you in a relationship you should ask her what is wrong. Maybe several times or give her a hug.
@@moimaris3369 that definitely should be a first approach instead of ignoring, you are right.
@@moimaris3369 Or leave her altogether.
Hello darkness my old friend...
@@moimaris3369
Yes, because women just love it when a guy asks them the same question repeatedly after being told things like "I'm fine" "I'm not mad" etc or a guy apologizes repeatedly, coming across as insecure & walking on eggshells around them to get their attention back when the guy Doesn't even have a clue what he did to upset her because she's too childish to simply state the problem & hash it out like an adult.
(Added bonus most women really love it when a guy keeps asking "what's wrong" with no valid answer back or silent treatment & then said guy attempts to hug them in an attempt to make her feel better. Yeah, women respond well to cuddly affection from a guy they're mad at who doesn't even know what he did or didn't do or why she's even mad or acting that way) 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Where is sean?
Oneitis with baby mom and married, how to deal with it?
@Luis Bonilla. Similar situation, how’s it going?
Great content
Like watching Troy and Rich
Folks, I'm new to this whole red pill community and I'd appreciate some guidance in a particular topic: I've seen that in some of Richard's videos he talks about how hypergamy doesn't give a fuck about relationships and that women will take every opportunity they are presented with, but then there are some other videos in which he talks about LTR's, which confuses me.
I'm in my early 20's, still figuring out some things about life itself, but determined to succes. I have a girlfriend, whom I frankly have a really good connection to and love, so how do I do to ensure that she won't just get with some other dude as soon as she can? I mean, success is a process that won't ocurre overnight, how do I keep my girlfriend to myself in the meantime? If that's impossible, then what's the point in being in a relationship anyway?
Thank you in advance for your opinios.
She needs to view you as her best option at any given point in time. You have to maintain frame, have boundaries for her you stick to, have some backbone, and limit her exposure to problematic scenarios like being drunk in another state with one of her girlfriends. She can never get the sense that you’ve become pathetic, her chase for you can never truly be over, or she’ll chase something else.
@@Johnp3n1s Thank you, John. Your opinion was very insightful. Guess I just have to keep my path straight and committed. Have a good one!
Troy is using the wrong end of the mic...
Justin A. Friend, the PT from the gym
Rich, I have a question: suppose you recognize all these red flags spot on, are you supposed to put these patterns in a spotlight and raise a conversation with her to address those issues? My experience is - women just get extremely defensive, the meltdown ensues and I get showered with even more red flags... I know it's painful, but is it reparable??
No, just next her.
Here's one, how do you deal with a inconsistent woman who after having sex with you 20+ times says she feels bad after sex gets distant then wants you again 2 weeks later but says same thing every single time?
Finished Rollo's books moving on to yours Rich, just ordered it on Amazon. 👍
Thanks for all you and the rule zero panel are doing.
Edit: If you happen to see this, what books have you read that you recommend on psychology? Mainly behavioral, but ill digest anything you would say is worth a read.
Whats the difference between the "soft next" and the "silent treatment?"
15:03 just a note to myself
Women move on easy because they never actually do. The moment she has a reason to, she'll be back.
The emotional wound is probably from your mother. The "love" you think you feel is an emotional wound otherwise you wouldn't feel like you need her. You'd be happy without her if you were healed.
I really love your content, Rich. It's pure gold. But can you please fix your volume. It's so much lower than your guests'
UK Guy missed 2 buttons.
Look!
Oneitis is not evil...
Oneitis with a bad, unavailable, or mismatched woman is very bad.
There are women who STAY in abusive relationships because they have a "pair bond!"
Pair-bonding is NOT bad. Pair-bonding is good.
Rich it is good that you love and care about your offspring and it's not just simply a cerebral duty to care about your offspring... It is good if there are emotions that motivate you to care about your offspring and remain attached.
If your love for your offspring meant you did not phone the police on them when they committed a crime... That is very bad!
Rightfully so you lament today's woman's lack of ability to pair-bond... which is why I also get upset with men in the manosphere who sleep around and disrupt that ability.
It is really important people rise above their lizard brain base instincts to be functioning adults in society.
It is awesome when your lizard brain and you're prefrontal cortex both want the SAME thing... life is a lot easier that way.
So if men have pair bonded with a bad woman... yes they should dump her.
But pair bonding or oneitis is not evil in itself.
I agree with you--it exists to motivate monogamy and parental investment, and it can be gratifying when there is reciprocation. But when not reciprocated, it's really like a curse.
@@SaddenedSoul reciprocation is the big deal breaker r
If you pair-bond with a woman, it means you are more emotional and not logical about the relationship. You'll want to give her everything, give her the world, put her first, and we all know where that leads to. She will stop respecting you (she can continue to love you). No respect = no attraction, she will leave you sooner or later. At the end of one of my LTRs, 5+ years, she told me that she really loved me, but we must end it because we're holding each other back. I do believe her that she loved me (because of her actions, not words, always follow what she does not what she says, but in this case it was congruent). So she lost attraction towards me, do you think if she saw me as the hottest guy in the world, the most alpha guy and she couldn't ressist me, do you think she would give an f about "holding each other back", wtf is that even suppose to mean in womanese, she had a great life with me, everything she could've wanted. The only thing I was holding her back from was fucking other guys. Amen.
How about you just process your emotions lol - you'll find that it isn't love, but an emotional pull. You can integrate it through presence.
Hey Rich! Any Chance to get your book at Amazon germany? Thanks man!
Dear men, No matter how much you Master women... Look at King Solomon, he fucked up..so is every man on earth except Jesus.
Not to be a lazy dude but yea it’s not worth it for a lot. It’s not worth the squeeze. Expend the energy somewhere else. 7:30 is not right, maintain your emotional health, new flings don’t do it
Whats a good bio on tinder you guys think?
Young and Rich lol
Not a great one the guest seemed interested a lot of the time.
What do you suggest if a man wants children?
There isn't an easy answer to oneitis, abundance or not, notchcount or not. If you are extremely attracted to her, are monogamous with her and the woman has the ability to manipulate you with her femininity/sexuality, you are gunna be in strife if it goes pair shaped.
Excellent video though guys.
I agree!
30:11 IT'S ALL NONSENSE
All the Redpill chatter is your fault. I see this clearly now.
Jesus christ Troy, I'm going through the same thing. I've known her 5 years, she's got a toxic boyfriend, belongs to a toxic group of friends, we've been seeing each other like 6 months, but she won't leave the boyfriend and I don't get it...
Lol this guy sounds so close to stirling Cooper
If she begs like a fiend. Kick rocks.
If she asks and dances like a lady with some class, your on a lucky streak.
never had this problem and this is not posible for my to have all this biologic thing is soft stuff
I MUST say this again.
A woman who cries a lot is NOT necessarily a problem.
Wife: "Honey can you take me to the home show. I have my HEART set on going with you."
(Note: I believe damn near every person who is not a psychopath SOMETIMES enjoys doing things they normally do not enjoy when people they love enjoy doing them. He-Man himself would LOVE taking his daughter to see Disney on Ice if she delighted in it.)
Husband: "No sweety, I have a prior commitment to go fishing with my friend."
One woman could BALL her eyes out, you hug her, and you have sex, and it's no problem, and you go on your fishing trip.
Another woman who says with ZERO emotion at all "If you loved me, you would take me to the home show."
HOUSTON...
WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM!
Katherine Hancocks
the only problem is you....
Look I have been addicted to TV shows. Men get addicted to sports.
I'm not sure who the hell I am. But do I have fans and some men are confusing "fandom for love?"
love your work - keep it up
“If you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan”- Rich Cooper, many times on this channel
Marinate on that guys 🥩🧂
Arener?