URBAN FANTASY - Terrible Writing Advice

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  • Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
  • This week I discuss how to write Urban Fantasy. It really only needs three things: Werewolves, Vampires, and heroines with zero personality! You can read my real thoughts on Urban Fantasy here: jpbeaubien.com/...
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    CREDITS
    Music: "Quirky Dog", "Monkeys Spinning Monkeys", and "Son of a Rocket" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
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Комментарии • 2,9 тыс.

  • @frydfish4934
    @frydfish4934 7 лет назад +4310

    Urban fantasy: wow it'd be cool to see how fantasy interacts with the real world
    Urban fantasy books: did someone say love triangle

    • @soulswordobrigadosegostar
      @soulswordobrigadosegostar 5 лет назад +239

      Other fantasy books:NO,THEY SAID LOVE DODECAHEDRON

    • @returnedtomonkey8886
      @returnedtomonkey8886 5 лет назад +41

      American Dragon Jake long?

    • @skree272
      @skree272 5 лет назад +46

      Lol id rather write about urban fantasy war, where America has all races combined
      (I.e. elves, orcs humans and those things vampires and werewolves dont count because you can become a vampire or werewolf most arent born like that

    • @placeholder1308
      @placeholder1308 5 лет назад +27

      Did some carbon-based lifeform just say LOVE TRIANGLE?
      does anyone get the joke

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX 5 лет назад +73

      honestly this is literally just the western version of the isekai novels at this point,
      but instead of being reincarnated to a fantasy world,
      the fantasy comes to our world, and instead of a loser guy getting a massive harem of big titty elfs.
      we got mary sue with her harem of rock hard ab vampires

  • @secondpsycho6577
    @secondpsycho6577 4 года назад +2616

    Plot Twist:
    Imagine a Fantasy Medieval Setting with Werewolves, Dwarves, Elves, Wizards Magic and all that, but there's a secret group of underground people who know that firearms, cell phones and the internet exists.

    • @WhiteRabbitDreams
      @WhiteRabbitDreams 4 года назад +222

      Now THAT I would read. Please write it

    • @fantasyshadows3207
      @fantasyshadows3207 4 года назад +354

      Would that be fantasy urban?

    • @candlecall
      @candlecall 4 года назад +114

      @@fantasyshadows3207 holy f u c k you're right

    • @v4verbatim
      @v4verbatim 4 года назад +80

      That reminds me of "The Village" but in reverse and with magic.

    • @Qvmmy
      @Qvmmy 4 года назад +19

      basically Merovingian and his co from matrix ?

  • @TheFlauschig
    @TheFlauschig 7 лет назад +3019

    I'm rooting for the tentacle monster in this love dodechedron!

    • @shaokhanwins1037
      @shaokhanwins1037 6 лет назад +257

      SomeSeal ikr he was so romantic on chapter 3489

    • @ginogatash4030
      @ginogatash4030 6 лет назад +238

      as a hentai enthusiast i agree

    • @myman5391
      @myman5391 5 лет назад +165

      m8, thats a shoggoth
      those are technically the ultimate love interest since they can transform into anything

    • @nixhyacinth
      @nixhyacinth 5 лет назад +92

      SomeSeal I’m rooting for the fire hydrant.

    • @paigecoolest
      @paigecoolest 5 лет назад +6

      SomeSeal please no

  • @RequiemPoete
    @RequiemPoete 7 лет назад +768

    I am now adding: " Bro, do you even sparkle?" As part of my list of insults.

  • @Sebascadpi
    @Sebascadpi 7 лет назад +2545

    And remember, our protagonist must certainly have an strange name. That's absolutely important for our plot to be consistent and our world to be more realistic.

  • @sleepybrownbear
    @sleepybrownbear 7 лет назад +962

    I fell in love with my sandwich yesterday, but then formed a love triangle with some pizza.

    • @xxMpEGxx
      @xxMpEGxx 5 лет назад +85

      Having a wonderful marriage with my cake and our 3 little cupcakes, the oldest one is going to university

    • @emblemblade9245
      @emblemblade9245 5 лет назад +39

      And then...vore

    • @agodawfulmspaintabominatio2631
      @agodawfulmspaintabominatio2631 5 лет назад +19

      EmblemBlade9 no. You stop that

    • @fall9459
      @fall9459 5 лет назад +47

      A pizza already is a love triangle

    • @jacobbenns6090
      @jacobbenns6090 5 лет назад +21

      Tastiest. Threesome. Ever.

  • @libertyprime3827
    @libertyprime3827 4 года назад +985

    Teen girl: I am the chos-
    Scp Foundation: I'm gonna stop you right there

    • @void2920
      @void2920 4 года назад +155

      Agent [REDACTED]: SCP [DATA EXPUNGED] has been successfully captured

    • @johnnoahdeandres9458
      @johnnoahdeandres9458 4 года назад +76

      Now I would love to read a SCP about that.

    • @johnnoahdeandres9458
      @johnnoahdeandres9458 4 года назад +13

      @@kianasheibani1708 thanks

    • @dr.prismatic5118
      @dr.prismatic5118 4 года назад +12

      I’ll look for it, thanks ;)

    • @Someone-or8tp
      @Someone-or8tp 4 года назад +37

      Chosen one trope: exists
      9 year old me on Pixel gun 3D: It's free real estate (also 123 for a gf)

  • @GamersPhYsIcSPyro
    @GamersPhYsIcSPyro 7 лет назад +2244

    If cinemassins was reviewing novels, it’d look something like this

    • @randomfantasy9523
      @randomfantasy9523 7 лет назад +8

      xD

    • @pungorma
      @pungorma 7 лет назад +7

      AnAngryTesticle i just got a plot actually not on any of this though I promise! Totally not...

    • @falteredstar
      @falteredstar 7 лет назад +21

      Just add tons of sarcasm on him, and I think he's done.

    • @A7XFan800
      @A7XFan800 7 лет назад +5

      Well, one of them actually write novels. So I wonder if he would go to that direction

    • @catvslaserpointer9022
      @catvslaserpointer9022 7 лет назад +14

      AnAngryTesticle cinema sins reviewing novels with a voice over by theodd1sout

  • @whosaidthat84
    @whosaidthat84 7 лет назад +350

    dammit!! this guy keeps stealing my ideas!!

    • @Jo_Mama710
      @Jo_Mama710 6 лет назад +1

      whosaidthat84 I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or not

  • @leggodt6340
    @leggodt6340 7 лет назад +39

    "I struggle not to fall in love with my food" - says the vorarephilist.

  • @lunabellethemagicaldoll2535
    @lunabellethemagicaldoll2535 4 года назад +9

    I just love how this video really slams the Twilight Saga for basically every single flaw the books had. I always couldn't help but wonder why the vampires in the Twilight Saga didn't take over; since they literally had nothing keeping them from doing so. I mean; the Volturi were the ones that made sure that didn't happen, sure, but it doesn't make sense why the Volturi didn't take over, themselves. They could have easily conquered the human race and raised them like cattle. They even could have convinced other vampires that it was for the best; given mankind's self-destructive nature. But no; they choose to keep the world from being conquered by vampires. Probably for morality's sake, if nothing else. I honestly can't think of any other reason why the Volturi wouldn't take over the world. And then there was the fact that Bella was a total Mary Sue when it came to becoming a vampire. I mean; upon becoming a vampire; all her human flaws simply vanished, she was incredibly powerful as a newborn vampire, and despite being new to the thirst; she was able to resist hunting humans as though she had at least a century's worth of resistance training. The first two details were kinda par for the course when it comes to Twilight Saga vampires; since all newborn Twilight Saga vampires are powerful and lose their human flaws, but being able to resist the scent of human blood; despite being new to having vampire instincts; it just doesn't make sense no matter how much I think about it.

  • @kibrika
    @kibrika 4 года назад +4

    1:11 "Bro, do you even sparkle?" made my day!

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +1

      *got my glitter right here if you need it...dude*

  • @kissadev.
    @kissadev. 4 года назад +2

    Final Fantasy VII is a urban fantasy with a world already totally dependent of its magic (materia, any folk can have one, and lifestream, to make electricity) and has a love triangle.

  • @snekkoheckko4466
    @snekkoheckko4466 6 лет назад +7

    And remember make ware wolves just bipedal dogs that look like wolves.

  • @edim108
    @edim108 6 лет назад +2

    2:32 That part got me :D

  • @GoodVibeCounterfeit
    @GoodVibeCounterfeit 7 лет назад +1

    These videos make me appreciate the good books I read growing up

  • @robertcooper4th259
    @robertcooper4th259 Год назад +1

    2:44 a Joseph joestar, a dragon with big balls, and the author plopped in to the story

  • @jmace2424
    @jmace2424 4 года назад +1

    Yes I know we're talking about Twilight but can we also talk about the fact that it pretty much describes Buffy the Vampire Slayer too?

  • @wykart932
    @wykart932 6 лет назад

    I'm actually writing that concept he mentioned about vampires ruling over human slaves

  • @velvetgaytor
    @velvetgaytor 4 года назад

    I'm writing a fantasy romance story about a barista at a little mom-and-pop cafe who falls in love with a mermaid. The mermaid doesn't really enjoy the drinks at the cafe, but it's the only place in the area that is merfolk accessible (the cafe is close to a big river, so the owners made a mini river that goes into the shop that allows the mers to get in).
    Barista and mermaid meet on a slow morning and chat about how inconvenienced mers are and Mermaid complains about how at her workplace she has to drag herself around until the business owners implement a waterway. They get along pretty well, so barista gives Mermaid her number.
    That's the plot, and now I hope I can actually write a bit until I get the inevitable writers block lol.
    A big part of it is going to be looking at how society has adapted to monsters and mythics, like, what do werewolves do on full moons? Well they go to a park made for them to run around and fight. Maybe there's stables for pegasi and all the kids in town love watching them play in the pasture. Maybe sirens are popular singers. I dunno. Just some ideas.

  • @Mrhellslayerz
    @Mrhellslayerz 5 лет назад +1

    Why is the hunky angel in love with the fire hydrant?

  • @valviform
    @valviform 10 месяцев назад

    You're giving me legit ideas of stories to write. Too bad I'm too lazy to do any work.

  • @VAULT-TEC_INC.
    @VAULT-TEC_INC. 6 лет назад

    @1:40 Totally described the 2009 movie, “Daybreakers,” with Ethan Hawke, Sam Neil and William Dafoe.

  • @einargs
    @einargs 7 лет назад

    I literally heard "A world where humans are oppressed by vampires into chattel slavery", went "huh, that sounds interesting," and then directly copied it into my notes on story ideas (along with a link to this video, of course).
    The hypotheticals these videos (jokingly) dismiss as uninteresting are almost universally intriguing. For example, the "schoolgirlapocalypse" joke from the Magic Schools episode: an exploration of how random super-powers or magic abilities completely subverts the existing ways society uses to limit the damage that a child's emotional and mental immaturity can cause, systems that might deal with such a situation, and the inevitable fuckups and problems involved with such systems (both in implementation and usage) sounds genuinely interesting and fun.

  • @KiraSlith
    @KiraSlith 7 лет назад

    1:43 nice call out to Seraph of the End. fn love that series.

  • @bryleed2198
    @bryleed2198 4 года назад +1

    Onward, take notes.

  • @an8strengthkobold360
    @an8strengthkobold360 4 года назад +2

    I'm running a urban fantasy game in which my goal is to maje the magic as mundane as possible.
    Like sure you went to college to lurn how to cast fire ball but how is that going to help you? Now you have student debt. How is fire ball going to help you?

    • @CalamityM
      @CalamityM 4 года назад +2

      All life's problems start to look flammable once you've learned fire-ball...

  • @silverscorpio24
    @silverscorpio24 3 года назад

    Harry Dresden is my favorite urban fantasy series

  • @CamHortalezayeah
    @CamHortalezayeah 7 лет назад

    Reminds me of What we do in the Shadow, the love pentagon, but the character they are going for is a virgin man named Stu... lol

  • @the_nerd5976
    @the_nerd5976 5 лет назад

    If you want a good example of Urban fantasy (done right) I recommend Jojo's bizarre adventure or Hellsing ultimate
    Edit: Abridged that is. Hellsing Ultimate abridged

  • @licacocosova3662
    @licacocosova3662 4 года назад

    Vampires who rule the world - ''Daybrakers''.I like this movie

  • @kataevellei415
    @kataevellei415 10 месяцев назад

    I find the scene of JP proposing to his sandwich oddly cute.

  • @xandermurdock6131
    @xandermurdock6131 5 лет назад +1

    2:38
    I like how Gordon Freeman and the alien are..
    uhh...
    ok well now im gonna move on.

  • @the_Miles_crew_fun
    @the_Miles_crew_fun 4 года назад

    Also I'm going to use this idea for my books and novels

  • @skyrius5568
    @skyrius5568 6 лет назад

    I should have seen it coming but I nearly choked on my water when the very first thing to be established was proudly presented as the love triangle

  • @jordanferrazza8700
    @jordanferrazza8700 5 лет назад

    I am thinking of writing that but sci-fi.

  • @franciscoancergomez3949
    @franciscoancergomez3949 4 года назад

    1:11 OMG This is exactly why I hate the VPD and it's spinoffs. The vampires have too much power because they get the whole superman package instead of small power-ups like in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. They even have the power to mind-control their victims.
    That being said the series does at least avoid some of the problems listed in this video, but I still hate it too much to let myself watch it again.

  • @michaelfixedsys7463
    @michaelfixedsys7463 7 лет назад

    Why was Cthulhu competing for the protagonists love? Doesn't he have a job or kingdom to run?

  • @michaelalley356
    @michaelalley356 7 лет назад

    It's always vampires and werewolves. Why can't a mummy, swamp monster, or Frankenstein's monster be the love interest(s).

  • @rkbelmont1138
    @rkbelmont1138 5 лет назад

    At this date, Legacy of Kain is the greatest vampire story ever written

  • @realkosherpork9223
    @realkosherpork9223 7 лет назад +789

    It's sad, urban fantasy has so much potential.

    • @fantasyshadows3207
      @fantasyshadows3207 4 года назад +83

      Well I guess there needs to be a revolution
      *A YA Revolution*
      We must start a revolution for Urban Fantasy to not be all romance and shenanigans

    • @Djnomad912
      @Djnomad912 4 года назад +40

      I’m only eleven, and I bet that I can write urban fantasy that isn’t about love triangles

    • @destroyerofsouls9789
      @destroyerofsouls9789 4 года назад +22

      Nobody asked, but I'm actually writing a Historical Urban Fantasy without love triangles or any other shape.

    • @canaisyoung3601
      @canaisyoung3601 4 года назад +4

      It still does.

    • @timmeyer9191
      @timmeyer9191 4 года назад +22

      Unfortunately, the number 1 genre of novels is romance (thanks Nicholas Sparks🙄), followed by mystery. Tying your urban fantasy in with the elements of a romance novel is a sure fire way to hook those romance readers who still want romance but want it told in a new way. Who cares if it lessens fans of traditional urban fantasy in the genre.
      Like the Western, romance can lose its innovation and it's ability to evolve. But if writers of romance suddenly put their story in the setting of another genre, eyeballs take notice. You now have something to market to teens and hook another generation of romance readers. And don't get me started on what the fifty shades series was trying to tape into.

  • @lemonmelon1883
    @lemonmelon1883 7 лет назад +1026

    You forgot something. We also have to make the main protagonist stumble and trip a lot, especially in front of her lovers, so that she appears needlessly clumsy and make sure she's caught by one of the lovers if they're nearby

    • @xxMpEGxx
      @xxMpEGxx 5 лет назад +53

      thats how I met my husband

    • @lukec2004
      @lukec2004 5 лет назад +64

      Unless when it's time to shoot with unthinkable accuracy
      They are less clumsy under stress

    • @paigecoolest
      @paigecoolest 5 лет назад +12

      Lemon Melon that’s actually a great way to show vulnerability for a man who wants to protect you so the cliché is more just a chemistry thing -- says nothing for sexism and homophobia though 😅

    • @funnyfirefly8769
      @funnyfirefly8769 5 лет назад +2

      Me around my crushes

    • @catbatrat1760
      @catbatrat1760 2 года назад +1

      What if it got her caught by the villain? Like, what was initially nothing more than an endearing little running gag ended up putting her in danger? That might be an interesting way to twist it.

  • @elijahmuller5041
    @elijahmuller5041 6 лет назад +6470

    Also just ignore the fact that moonlight would also kill vampires since moonlight is sunlight reflected off the moon

    • @fruitosdor7230
      @fruitosdor7230 6 лет назад +951

      gravy spectre Wow, I think you might be the first person to think of that

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 6 лет назад +587

      HerrMasterLizard Originally, Vampires just became human during the day.

    • @BlueDragonknight375
      @BlueDragonknight375 6 лет назад +264

      Really. This could solve a lot of problems I am having with an Urban Fantasy story I want to write. Right after I figure out how to start my fantasy novel. Ugg! I know the plot, I just don't know how to start it. The first book is all about stetting up for the rest of the series, so there's a lot of boring exposition I need to get through. The question is how to do it in the most natural way, and least painful way, possible.

    • @Fedexed1
      @Fedexed1 6 лет назад +271

      the sunlight given off is too weak to cause harm

    • @Janoha17
      @Janoha17 6 лет назад +98

      coyoteseattle That's why vampire lairs are always covered in stormclouds!

  • @jezchantler5331
    @jezchantler5331 6 лет назад +1068

    the love dodecahedron kinda makes sense, but why is the angel having an affair with the fire hydrant?

    • @emilianorios4761
      @emilianorios4761 5 лет назад +208

      You mean you wouldn't? That fire hydrant was looking thicc

    • @calluxdoaron1903
      @calluxdoaron1903 4 года назад +46

      I feel sorry for Gordon Freeman and Grey in that dodecahedron.

    • @eazy8579
      @eazy8579 4 года назад +26

      How bout the Shoggoth?

    • @stormshadow2944
      @stormshadow2944 4 года назад +54

      There’s a lot of gay relationships in the love dodecahedron

    • @voidstrider801
      @voidstrider801 4 года назад +24

      @@eazy8579 It can be anything it wants to be, shape shifting is a skill it posses, which has massive potential for trolling other characters.

  • @lukevankleef4245
    @lukevankleef4245 7 лет назад +3210

    A story about a vampire dictatorship actually sounds really interesting.

    • @paladindragoongirl18
      @paladindragoongirl18 7 лет назад +110

      Luke van Kleef Someone needs to write this.

    • @lukevankleef4245
      @lukevankleef4245 7 лет назад +45

      That would be cool. XD

    • @SangerZonvolt
      @SangerZonvolt 7 лет назад +286

      Well there are animes about that. Not sure it would be what you are looking for though. "Seraph of the end" goes into that direction, though I personaly didn´t watch it past the first episode because it absically did everything else "right" according to this channel.

    • @SirFloopy
      @SirFloopy 7 лет назад +180

      You may wish to look into the movie Daybreakers.

    • @Saieras
      @Saieras 7 лет назад +32

      So interesting, even Runescape managed it.

  • @graup1309
    @graup1309 7 лет назад +1518

    You actually forgot about the part where the main character bumps into a guy who tells her about the secret world that her parents had been hiding from her for her entire life for no reason except 'we wanted to protect you because we knew you are the chosen one so NOT training you seemed like the best thing to do.'. She then of course falls in love with that guy. By the end of the first book she finds out, that they are actually probably siblings (extra points for plot twist if the villain also happens to be part of their family). Still want to make them falling in love? No big deal: Someone can just tell them that they got lied to and actually aren't related at all. You can repeat this as many times as you want.

    • @floatsyourgoats6200
      @floatsyourgoats6200 7 лет назад +265

      Don't forget the red herring love interest who clearly won't go anywhere since he's just a boring human and is shown to have more chemistry with the protagonist than the presumably jerkish and distant brother-not-brother character.

    • @ars731
      @ars731 7 лет назад +184

      Boxington Xavier bonus points if they are childhood friends and he pinned for her since they were kids

    • @graup1309
      @graup1309 7 лет назад +17

      MaverickDoesEveryhing Yes, but I think it also happened in Divergent (even though that isn't fantasy)

    • @ardrej
      @ardrej 7 лет назад +105

      Don't forget that her real father is the source of all evil befalling to the protagonist in an attemp to convert her to the dark side

    • @Zinervawyrm
      @Zinervawyrm 7 лет назад +68

      It can also be bonus points to have the guy who tells the hero they are the chosen one and trains them to be the actual villain at the plot twist ending. That way during the final battle he can have that cliche…I mean classic line of:
      "I've taught you everything you know. I know every move you're going to make even before you do. But I haven't shown and taught you everything I know. Now witness what true power looks like!"
      Then have the bad guy get some upgrades like he's a final boss in a video game.

  • @TheCow-j1l
    @TheCow-j1l 7 лет назад +5001

    vampires are zombies aristocrats, everything a woman wants...
    a dead millionaire.

    • @NITROIRL40420
      @NITROIRL40420 5 лет назад +247

      *USSR theme intensifies*

    • @NITROIRL40420
      @NITROIRL40420 5 лет назад +61

      @Staggy Thing I must be missing some kind of joke; because you sound more drunk than I am right now; and I just chugged some Smirnoff.

    • @NITROIRL40420
      @NITROIRL40420 5 лет назад +21

      @Staggy Thing Well, I didn't see it; so I guess r/wooosh on me.

    • @Dreigonix
      @Dreigonix 5 лет назад +85

      And I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger....
      But she a gold digger.

    • @NITROIRL40420
      @NITROIRL40420 5 лет назад +39

      @@Dreigonix She ain't messing with no broke...

  • @crycrybribri
    @crycrybribri 6 лет назад +2727

    I love how werewolves and vampires, wich are basically aligorations for serial killers and rapists have somehow become love interests for teenage girls.

    • @StilvurBee
      @StilvurBee 6 лет назад +370

      i...never thought of those equivalents. huh.

    • @Dreigonix
      @Dreigonix 5 лет назад +438

      That’s... a bit of a stretch? I get the idea, especially as it relates to what Edward and Jacob actually _do_ in Twilight, but that doesn’t have to be the implication with _every single vampire or werewolf character._

    • @AzureSymbiote
      @AzureSymbiote 5 лет назад +239

      @@Dreigonix It does with Dracula, the premier vampire.

    • @thesenate5291
      @thesenate5291 5 лет назад +161

      Well...ah....there wasn't really a dispute on that anyway. Look at how people pine over Pennywise

    • @arlostein1000
      @arlostein1000 4 года назад +78

      It's a worrying reality that even the most independent woman deep down kinda wants the fantasy of being murdered

  • @sarabrown159
    @sarabrown159 7 лет назад +569

    Why is it the small channels that I swear have the best way to give advice? Seriously, I just found it today and love it already. Subscribe

    • @TheBitanian
      @TheBitanian 7 лет назад +39

      Because they have to try harder for views

    • @ShatteredGlass916
      @ShatteredGlass916 7 лет назад +5

      Sara Brown because they either start fresh with new ideas or starts off kinda weak, but gradually getting better each time

    • @sarabrown159
      @sarabrown159 7 лет назад

      harits andhika that is true. May not ever figure out how to get out there (kind of like a lot of indie authors) but they do try to be unique

    • @ShatteredGlass916
      @ShatteredGlass916 7 лет назад +7

      Sara Brown just make sure not being either cringy, cancerous, or straight out blantantly pandering to LGBT or Religion groups lol

    • @sarabrown159
      @sarabrown159 7 лет назад +1

      harits andhika 100% agree. And I'm not sure which one is worse.

  • @janeyrevanescence12
    @janeyrevanescence12 7 лет назад +1793

    "A world ruled by vampires where humans are oppressed into chattel slavery sounds utterly boring. Who would read that?" Okay, who really wants to read that story?

    • @GigaChadh976
      @GigaChadh976 7 лет назад +73

      I'd read it.

    • @TheNightWatcher1385
      @TheNightWatcher1385 7 лет назад +133

      That's Daybreakers. It's a movie, but still, same premise.

    • @grimgor07
      @grimgor07 7 лет назад +121

      I won't. Because i know how it will happen.
      The weak and oppressed humans beat the crap off of the vampires by random powers humanity has just discovered from nowhere and by the most powerfull weapons in every story where humans face an non-human thread, the legendary will,ingeniosity,friendship and virtue of mankind because It's impossible in the vast universe or the infinity of imagination to have an other race with those valors. In the end, humans show vampires how they're awesome by eradicated them all instead of finding peace between their kinds with diplomaty because we know It's for gays.
      Make sure too to make vampires all irredeemable. It's know everything who challenge mankind is pure evil to the core. Make them ugly and old because goodness come only from beauty and youthness.
      And the most important thing, make them all male or unisex! Because anything with boobs cannot be unlikeable.
      .....except if those vampires will join humanity cause. You can make them pretty and charismatic but at least one of them must be a female. And be sure to put the other ugly old vampires behind the group to not see them even if they join humans because....they're still ugly.

    • @Pippin1505
      @Pippin1505 7 лет назад +29

      "Raptors" a comic by Dufeaux/Marini tells (in part) the story of a ruling vampire elite that faces cheptel management issues : overpredation of the human "livestock", blood diseases... but it's mostly about a couple of rebel vampires hell bent on revenge with a centuries old grudge...

    • @zeromailss
      @zeromailss 7 лет назад +64

      Owari no Seraph, I dont think it has a novel version but damn I love the manga, some part make no sense but the setting is exactly just that
      the MC and his friend is a vampire's livestock, they are treated just like slave

  • @soapblocks
    @soapblocks 7 лет назад +2144

    looking at you, twilight.

    • @angelaviviv7698
      @angelaviviv7698 6 лет назад +110

      Scowling at you, twilight.

    • @Snackychanlovescooki
      @Snackychanlovescooki 6 лет назад +146

      Farting in your general direction twilight

    • @gkky-xx4mc
      @gkky-xx4mc 6 лет назад +101

      Trying to desperately erase you from the darkest corners of my mind, Twilight.

    • @ProxiProtogen
      @ProxiProtogen 6 лет назад +3

      garlic flavored floss you got 666 likes because of me NOW SELL YOUR SOUL TO *THE DEVIL*

    • @IamaPERSON
      @IamaPERSON 5 лет назад +37

      Erasing you from our timeline, Twilight.

  • @shanemacmillan5732
    @shanemacmillan5732 6 лет назад +363

    "...love dodecahedron." That is the most terrifying thing I've heard in years.

  • @JenamDrag0n
    @JenamDrag0n 4 года назад +283

    "After all, this is an escapist romantic fantasy, not a biology lesson"
    Me: a biology nerd who would be legit thrilled to see an escapist romantic fantasy with said biology lessons.

    • @jordanfleming7022
      @jordanfleming7022 3 года назад +27

      A werewolf would probably make for a good family man, considering the pack / family dynamics of wolves.
      I mean, he’d probably smell bad, but he should be fine if he keeps his hygiene in check.

    • @siyacer
      @siyacer 3 года назад +2

      What kind of biology?

    • @daniellespencer5026
      @daniellespencer5026 2 года назад +2

      Cells at Work? 🤔

    • @mariustan9275
      @mariustan9275 2 года назад +2

      @adenosine 2 electric boogaloo More like Magizoologist, the kind from Magical Beasts and Where to Find Them.

    • @smergthedargon8974
      @smergthedargon8974 Год назад

      @@siyacer anatomical research 😉

  • @boneatellohumerus3738
    @boneatellohumerus3738 7 лет назад +395

    local man destroys Twilight

    • @boneatellohumerus3738
      @boneatellohumerus3738 7 лет назад +19

      and especially the mortal instrument series

    • @DeerBoy736
      @DeerBoy736 7 лет назад +13

      I know Twilight but I don't know the mortal instrument series. Can you tell me how he destroyed that?

    • @mat8791
      @mat8791 5 лет назад +7

      i think everyone can destroy twilight

    • @kevingooley9628
      @kevingooley9628 5 лет назад +6

      @@DeerBoy736 well, at it's core, it's a slightly more complicated version of twilight. With a "love Venn Diagram"

    • @DeerBoy736
      @DeerBoy736 5 лет назад

      @@kevingooley9628 Thanks for answering
      .

  • @MicDISCO
    @MicDISCO 7 лет назад +672

    "Do we need a love triangle? Of course not!" OH THANK GOD! "We can have a love dodecahedron!" OH GOD KILL ME!

    • @davidk1308
      @davidk1308 7 лет назад +41

      Rytzler Guy thst actually made me laugh xD

    • @Shicksalblume
      @Shicksalblume 5 лет назад +6

      Better that then the Lust Trapezohedrons you can find in some anime.

    • @KateeAngel
      @KateeAngel 5 лет назад +1

      Maybe just threesome instead of triangle would be good. Like "lets not choose between us two, just have sex all together".

  • @randominternetuser5872
    @randominternetuser5872 4 года назад +348

    I probably would buy a book about the story of a man falling in love with his sandwich Just so I can say "hey guys! I bought a book about someone falling in love with a sandwich!"

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +38

      *this is where your friends (assuming you have them) or coworkers nod at you and smile all the while taking a few steps backward*

    • @questionmark521
      @questionmark521 3 года назад +8

      Then you woke in a white room while wearing a weird white shirt

    • @aeyakieduenas1331
      @aeyakieduenas1331 3 года назад +4

      If the sandwich has cheese in it, I assume that man is me

    • @cookiemocher388
      @cookiemocher388 3 года назад +2

      Plot twist its a depressing story about lolneyness

    • @Eltrio2
      @Eltrio2 3 года назад +4

      If memory serves, that was the plot to an episode of SpongeBob.

  • @moonknightproductions
    @moonknightproductions 7 лет назад +441

    So basically, write Twilight fanfiction?

    • @saphiriathebluedragonknight375
      @saphiriathebluedragonknight375 7 лет назад +69

      So Fifty Shades of Grey?

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 5 лет назад +41

      @@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 but with vampires and actually good BDSM

    • @lahasainaypayaso3386
      @lahasainaypayaso3386 3 года назад +22

      @@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 So 365 Days? (it's a 50 Shades fanfic)

    • @lordnul1708
      @lordnul1708 3 года назад +26

      @@lahasainaypayaso3386 a fanfic of a fanfic? How does that happen lol

    • @aeyakieduenas1331
      @aeyakieduenas1331 3 года назад +5

      @@lordnul1708 Glitchtale is a fan anime of Undertale, and there's fanfiction of Glitchtale, so uhh... it can happen.

  • @Voltorb1993
    @Voltorb1993 7 лет назад +388

    I consider this a challange accepted. i will write a story with love dodecahedron.

    • @ArtOfShannonLee
      @ArtOfShannonLee 6 лет назад +47

      Voltorb1993 I've lived that experience in highschool. Most of the people I knew were bisexual so gender was no boundary. Who was crushing on who became quite a mess hahaha!

    • @thedeliisle7716
      @thedeliisle7716 5 лет назад +6

      I want to read that

    • @f.i.r.e.5119
      @f.i.r.e.5119 5 лет назад +13

      @@ArtOfShannonLee
      Sounds both fun and... not.
      Depends mostly on how everybody handled rejection...

    • @bombyman84
      @bombyman84 5 лет назад

      So how's it?

    • @schwellenangst1605
      @schwellenangst1605 4 года назад

      @@ArtOfShannonLee At least people were crushing on you hahaha *cries*

  • @jehovasabettor9080
    @jehovasabettor9080 7 лет назад +383

    All this urban fantasy reminds me of an old joke from a comic-con predecessor. There was a bit of a "best impersonation" contest, and the contestants for the first place were a bunch of girls playing vampires and some dudes playing Beavis and Butthead. The stand-off was something along the lines of:
    Girls: We're vampires, fear us!
    Dude1: Beavis, whach'ey sayin?
    Dude2: They say them suck real good.

  • @seanocansey2956
    @seanocansey2956 7 лет назад +1257

    this video is still a better love story than twillight....

    • @jl8417
      @jl8417 7 лет назад +123

      Sean Ocansey No duh, this is actually funny and useful

    • @thewhitewolf58
      @thewhitewolf58 7 лет назад +18

      Sean Ocansey I would assume this is what it's based off

    • @gotchathespider7850
      @gotchathespider7850 7 лет назад +31

      Uh, no. It's a love dodecahedran

    • @hermionegranger9278
      @hermionegranger9278 7 лет назад +2

      Sean Ocansey Harry Potter is better😜

    • @sn0wsparks
      @sn0wsparks 7 лет назад

      Twilight isn't so bad! (And Harry Potter fans, DO NOT jump on me I like your fandom too, I'm a Slytherin)

  • @fall9459
    @fall9459 5 лет назад +452

    If an urban fantasy doesn't have the phrase
    "I'm not a dwarf, I'm a midget"
    then it should not exist

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +45

      *gotta make vague references to the bitter feelings and repercussions that still exist after the tragic Oompa Loompa Munchkin War...or better yet make it part of a class assignment or a lecture where the one of the characters sneaks into class late and is called out by the instructor to give his or her opinion as to the nature of the socioeconomic factors that lead up to the conflict and the aftermath on current society...leading to them to say the comic relief characters catch phrase....Zappers! and then be sent to after school detention where the dark adventure begins...involving trolls that live/dwell beneath the school*

    • @lukelcs8934
      @lukelcs8934 4 года назад +17

      @@scottmantooth8785 That sounds very oddly specific. . .
      . . .
      This is just your idea for a story isn't it?

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +12

      @@lukelcs8934 *yep...and i have no problem with it taking place in an alternate timeline either*

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 3 года назад +9

      @@scottmantooth8785
      The first member of The Addams Family was known at the time as a bard
      He did the ultimate Barb move
      By seducing a Eldritch Abomination that most people are scared of he was not and thought it was strange but caring.
      He fell in love and that love granted him a child. This man name is West Addams

    • @juliefarrell6688
      @juliefarrell6688 2 года назад +2

      I put
      "I'm not a midget, I'm a dwarf"

  • @zeromailss
    @zeromailss 7 лет назад +347

    "Just don't bother to address why vampire haven't taken over despite their obviously superior nature,a world ruled by vampires where human are oppressed into chattel slavery sounds utterly boring"
    OWARI NO SERAPH!? damn I love this channel

  • @00Boogie
    @00Boogie 7 лет назад +502

    Now I'm intrigued about the story of an orc with an office job.

    • @SangerZonvolt
      @SangerZonvolt 7 лет назад +25

      @ proudwonk: So basically Shadowrun?

    • @ZeroBudgetProductions
      @ZeroBudgetProductions 6 лет назад +41

      00Boogie D&D meets the office love it

    • @troglodyte4207
      @troglodyte4207 6 лет назад +28

      Ok this is definitely happening and the orcs supervisor is definitely a beholder

    • @Anastas1786
      @Anastas1786 6 лет назад +71

      Personally, I'm into the idea of intelligent orcs in general. Tolkein-style brainless, savage killing machines can be fun, but...
      "Secretary Durwood, I was _not_ elected just so I could lose all of Texas to the Empire over a _Goddamned salad fork._ We need a new ambassador. _Now."_
      "I think I know just the man, Mr. President. He has extensive knowledge of Naga law, politics, etiquette, and culture, including their war poetry; he speaks French, Russian, Chinese, Orcish, High _and_ Low Imperial; he's a classically-trained violinist-"
      "Which would be _wonderful_ if we were sending him to a _friendship_ festival, Durwood, but the Empire is a metaphorical _and literal_ snake pit, and these snakes also have human arms and mental capacities! All the pretty poetry in the world isn't going to save him if the Empress gets her coils around his scrawny neck."
      "... He's, uh, also eight feet tall and can bench press over four hundred pounds."
      "Hmm. ...Got photos in that file?"

    • @asherketchup7013
      @asherketchup7013 6 лет назад +18

      If you said police job that would have been hilarious

  • @_CherrySmiles_
    @_CherrySmiles_ 7 лет назад +171

    8 edgy wattpad writers disliked this video

  • @hrd2h1t
    @hrd2h1t 7 лет назад +334

    Idea: A sappy urban fantasy love triangle story, only instead of a sexy vampire and a hunky werewolf, the Mary Sue has to chose between a goblin and a dwarf.

    • @troglodyte4207
      @troglodyte4207 6 лет назад +18

      Hrd 2 H1t
      In my one it’s a shoggoth and a slime

    • @TheSamgo
      @TheSamgo 6 лет назад +10

      Well you know what they say about dwarfs...

    • @censored4680
      @censored4680 6 лет назад +14

      THEN PLOT TWIST MARY SUE IS A gnome
      A 1/2 demon, 1/2 angle, 1/2 witch ,1/2 alien, 1/2 demigod, 1/2 god, 1/2 Vampire, 1/2 human Gnome t

    • @thesmileshow9651
      @thesmileshow9651 6 лет назад +10

      BRUH, you can be a demigod and god at the same time?!

    • @censored4680
      @censored4680 6 лет назад +6

      yes its like 1 1/2 god and 1/2 other

  • @jennytulls6369
    @jennytulls6369 4 года назад +921

    Humanity in real life: "They have a slightly darker skin tone? Kill them all!"
    Humanity in urban fantasy: "They're a giant wolf who cannot control his hunger for flesh and is a general danger to everyone since only bullets made of silver can stop them? I see no problem"

    • @lambadajewo.4143
      @lambadajewo.4143 4 года назад +104

      This is painfully true.

    • @Hypogean7
      @Hypogean7 4 года назад +115

      Isn't the plot of most urban fantasy that if the humans discover the monsters, they will kill them all?

    • @thatonepipsqueak887
      @thatonepipsqueak887 4 года назад +11

      So accurate it hurts...

    • @stevenhiggins3055
      @stevenhiggins3055 4 года назад +60

      Okay, but hear me out. Who *wouldn't* a silver bullet kill? I mean, it's a bullet. Same thing with the stake for vampires. I think anyone would die from having their heart pierced with a sharp piece if wood, especially with the force it would take to break through the chest plate.

    • @Hypogean7
      @Hypogean7 4 года назад +12

      @@stevenhiggins3055 Yeah, but the silver bullet is meant to be super effective.

  • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
    @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 4 года назад +81

    About why vampires didn't rule the world, Vampire: The Masquerade has an explanation for this. Vampires are severely outnumbered by mortals. And despite their vampiric superpowers, modern humans can easily kill vampires with shotguns, flamethrowers, and napalms. It's just too inconvenient for both vampires and humans to be at open war. That's why they prefer to hide their true nature and control the world from the shadows

  • @ManuelRodriguez-lf5je
    @ManuelRodriguez-lf5je 7 лет назад +547

    I am tempted to write urban fantasy for one reason alone...
    elves with shotguns in LA

  • @Zinervawyrm
    @Zinervawyrm 7 лет назад +213

    I actually have a story about werewolves, and one of my characters actually buys anti-flea shampoo for dogs.

    • @emitheorbit1118
      @emitheorbit1118 4 года назад +25

      Modern accuracy. nice

    • @junkyyard2273
      @junkyyard2273 4 года назад +7

      Shut up and take my money

    • @plasmawolf7960
      @plasmawolf7960 3 года назад

      How would the flees stay on them when they turned human? I write about werewolves all the time and always assumed they would come off or something but I’m curious to see if you have a better explanation because that’s a really interesting point

    • @Zinervawyrm
      @Zinervawyrm 3 года назад +1

      @@plasmawolf7960 For the laughs really, I thought it would be funny because he's a werewolf, fleas just love him.

    • @plasmawolf7960
      @plasmawolf7960 3 года назад

      @@Zinervawyrm I mean I was just wondering if you’d really thought it out and it was something I needed to scramble to take into account

  • @numbug1234
    @numbug1234 7 лет назад +291

    Validating your existance...
    My one weakness...
    *Punches the like button*

    • @KindredKeepsake
      @KindredKeepsake 7 лет назад +13

      Did you puNCH IT IN THE FACE, *LIKE A BOSS!?*

  • @teddyn240
    @teddyn240 6 лет назад +151

    Pretty much don't write anything similar to twilight.

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +8

      *as in EVER*

    • @jodofe4879
      @jodofe4879 4 года назад +11

      Unless you want to make MONEY

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +8

      @@jodofe4879 *just combine random aspects from several YT franchises together and change them slightly by at least 25% to avoid legal complications with copyright infringement and then gender swap everyone for good measure and BOOM™ you've got The Twilight Games or The Divergent Hunters...you can just smell the profits rolling in*

  • @bellac6311
    @bellac6311 4 года назад +126

    Love triangle subplot: *Exists*
    2010's YA urban fantasy authors: Its free real estate

    • @lordnul1708
      @lordnul1708 3 года назад +7

      Also most anime writers. It's almost like the laws of anime physics at this point.
      "If there's more than one male character and more than one female character in an anime, there will be a love triangle that will only resolve during the last episode if at all, and only in the most rushed manner the writers can possibly achieve. This will hold true even if the third component is only a part of the triangle as a means of putting strain on the other two's relationship and comes completely out of nowhere."

    • @crafter6862
      @crafter6862 2 года назад +1

      Ya genre is basically slang for cheap and chiched writing that somehow makes lots of money.

    • @bellac6311
      @bellac6311 2 года назад +1

      @@crafter6862 I mean, not all YA. Ive read some incredibly well written, thought provoking, cathartic YA books (Six of Crows, Noughts and Crosses, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe comes to mind immediately). Just this very specific subgenre of YA from the mid 2000s to mid 2010s is nototrious for its cliches and tacky writing and...for lack of a better term...being sell outs.

    • @crafter6862
      @crafter6862 2 года назад +1

      @@bellac6311 yeah I meant the ya from that specific time

    • @bellac6311
      @bellac6311 2 года назад +1

      @@crafter6862 Oh okay good! I got worried you were one of those book elitists for a sec that shit on YA bc its aimed at a younger audience and isnt "educated literature like tHe cLasSiCs". Good to know i was wrong lmao

  • @gliscorpropagandaaccount1764
    @gliscorpropagandaaccount1764 7 лет назад +1781

    A romance dodecahedron:
    Ranma in a nutshell
    Edit:
    I frikin love Ranma

    • @Nisselak
      @Nisselak 7 лет назад +26

      Even better: Anita Blake novels in a nutshell

    • @PrincessFelicie
      @PrincessFelicie 7 лет назад +58

      Well it IS considered the archetypical love decahedron by TV Tropes. Heck, the love decahedron is basically Rumiko Takahashi's trademark.

    • @germanvisitor2
      @germanvisitor2 7 лет назад +14

      Basically every second... the hell, three out of four harem mangas.

    • @archeduardo
      @archeduardo 7 лет назад +3

      hayate no gotoku as well

    • @no_thank_you_
      @no_thank_you_ 7 лет назад +82

      I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the point of Ranma is to illustrate the absurdity of the love dodecahedron trope

  • @kokofan50
    @kokofan50 7 лет назад +158

    I've been watching your videos and I now have the ultimate story. A dystopian urban fantasy set at a magic school were a Mary Sue preaches environmentalism to every male character, all of who just happen to be vampires, werewolfs, etc. and madly in love with her until all but the chosen one die, while fighting and evil alien empire that attacks for no understandable reason.

    • @nicholasmohl4012
      @nicholasmohl4012 7 лет назад +24

      Dont forget the evil government!

    • @shadowspider9
      @shadowspider9 6 лет назад +9

      I think you just described the fanfic Evanescence.

    • @ars731
      @ars731 6 лет назад +6

      Nicholas Möhl give that man a book contract and or movie deal

    • @unwantedmacguffin5611
      @unwantedmacguffin5611 5 лет назад +2

      So darling and the franks?

    • @ShyGirlSays
      @ShyGirlSays 5 лет назад

      it´s been two years, did you already finished the book?? l totally want to read that

  • @No_Sleepee
    @No_Sleepee 4 года назад +267

    2:37 Okay, why is nobody talking about the fact that the werewolf is in a love connection with the fire hydrant, the same hydrant that is connected to an angelic man?
    *I HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS.*

    • @stormshadow2944
      @stormshadow2944 4 года назад +46

      I’m not sure you really want the answers to those questions

    • @lukelcs8934
      @lukelcs8934 4 года назад +18

      Are there answers?
      I thought it was just random, and therefor funny.

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 3 года назад +5

      EH ITS PROBABLY NOTHIN'

  • @BardsOnAHill
    @BardsOnAHill 6 лет назад +102

    I love how the Dresden Files setting deals with urban fantasy. The whole “guns do absolutely nothing to the undead” theme is not a factor, to the point where the main character carries around a revolver the entire story.

  • @Macey88
    @Macey88 6 лет назад +70

    Wait wait this is all wrong... Your main character has too much personality.

  • @thedarklrd6714
    @thedarklrd6714 7 лет назад +91

    3:56 One zombie is on their phone like
    "Dude we're about to break into some stupid teenager's house get over here"

    • @arbiter11171
      @arbiter11171 7 лет назад +19

      Alora Simkins Yes, but in zombie, all he said was "braaaaaaains, mooooaaaaaaan, braaains!" It's a very sophisticated language. Entire novels could be written on one side of a napkin!

    • @aneciahendricks4905
      @aneciahendricks4905 5 лет назад

      @@arbiter11171 lol

  • @furryeddeddsworld58
    @furryeddeddsworld58 7 лет назад +828

    still a better story than twilight

    • @pooopshenron165
      @pooopshenron165 7 лет назад +5

      Cola Lover Edd lol

    • @Harshworld100
      @Harshworld100 7 лет назад +33

      Any story is a better than twilight

    • @disturbedrocks1996
      @disturbedrocks1996 7 лет назад +32

      @Trev Stimp: Fifty Shades of Grey, need I say anything else?

    • @wakkaseta8351
      @wakkaseta8351 7 лет назад +33

      Still a better love dodecahedron than Twilight.

    • @graup1309
      @graup1309 7 лет назад +63

      Except, this IS Twilight.

  • @catpoke9557
    @catpoke9557 7 лет назад +631

    2:55 There was a shoggoth in the love.. triangle.. thing..

    • @legogamingjojo9439
      @legogamingjojo9439 6 лет назад +120

      Correction, it's a Love Dodecahedron

    • @troglodyte4207
      @troglodyte4207 6 лет назад +27

      Double Moustache
      Yeah get it right

    • @heartgold-studios5241
      @heartgold-studios5241 6 лет назад +33

      ahlloigehye love ya! ahlloigehye Y' l' gotha uaaah sex l' ymg'! hentai mgep'ai l'
      Ph'nglui h' wgah'nagl ot r'lyeh mglw'nafh cthulhu ah'legeth fhtagn

    • @heartgold-studios5241
      @heartgold-studios5241 6 лет назад

      Sorry but I think this is Just one interpretacion

    • @rururiemn1941
      @rururiemn1941 6 лет назад +4

      It would definitely be something new to see

  • @kimarous
    @kimarous 7 лет назад +65

    "Because I know I always struggle to not to fall in love with my food."
    Actual laugh-out-loud moment for me. XD

  • @ericlarrieu-let5757
    @ericlarrieu-let5757 7 лет назад +926

    In their defense, vampires probably do produce new body mass for them abs. They drink a person's entire blood supply every week, after all! :D

    • @majorblitz3846
      @majorblitz3846 7 лет назад +62

      Eric Larrieu-let Well, and possibly gain Vitamin D from that Blood supply in order to literally walk out in sunlight

    • @notoverwatch6991
      @notoverwatch6991 7 лет назад +57

      But they're literally a walking corpse. Drinking blood does not mean your heart suddenly starts producing it on its own.

    • @ericlarrieu-let5757
      @ericlarrieu-let5757 7 лет назад +29

      That's why they use others people's blood.
      Still, any biologist would a real field trip if they tried dissecting one of these guys.

    • @hayleybartek8643
      @hayleybartek8643 7 лет назад +51

      Vampires consume blood because it's their food source. Just eating doesn't give you muscle mass, does it? No, so it wouldn't with them, either. If anything, they'd look like patients who have edema: really swollen, to the point that it becomes difficult to move around. Goodbye hunk and hello balloon-man!

    • @MarcusDarkstar
      @MarcusDarkstar 7 лет назад +9

      Not Overwatch no that doesnt make sense. How does one make use of blood WITHOUT a working heart? Isnt that the reason the vampire hunter brings a stake along with them? To impale their heart to keep them from regenerating.

  • @artix548
    @artix548 7 лет назад +53

    Your employment has been terminated due to your refusal to write propaganda to brainwash teens-- I mean shitty romance novels-- I mean the manuscript for the next Hollywood blockbuster.

  • @jonathanfaber3291
    @jonathanfaber3291 7 лет назад +193

    The biggest problem with adding magic to the real world is unless it has some generic insta-death spell, or lightning magic actually obeys what we know about lightning , all of offensive magic like fireballs are inherently weaker tools than guns, meaning that it would probably degrade into something to amuse the masses and/or illusionary or other support spells would grow in importance in combat roles since we haven't invented perfect stealth systems yet, and we're still trying to invent endurance and strength augmenters. Or we don't need to worry about that, nor our obsessive consumerism which should probably result in the mass production of regulated masses where offensive spells are a political hot topic like guns are, and political and religious movements against the employment of magic, or if magic is a select trait, we don't need to rewrite history where our arcane overlords ruled like the economically powerful did in our world and therefore have long past famous historical movements for the mundane/profane/[insert silly sounding and utterly illogical sounding name to describe non-magical people here]
    But that sounds too much like work so let's disregard all of those little bits of actual reality that should go in but are remarkably absent in everything I've seen

    • @f.i.r.e.5119
      @f.i.r.e.5119 5 лет назад +36

      Yeah, if you're going to go the route of magic in the modern world, don't make a "save the world" story. There's too much modern stuff that could overpower well-defined magical powers.

    • @Dreigonix
      @Dreigonix 5 лет назад +15

      On the other hand, that’s not fun. And ultimately it’s better to be fun than to get hung up on “realism.”

    • @icecreamhero2375
      @icecreamhero2375 4 года назад +5

      Why not make it so that only certian people born with magic genes can do it.

    • @kingmaoh5566
      @kingmaoh5566 4 года назад +1

      @@icecreamhero2375 That is what he has mentioned

    • @vukkulvar9769
      @vukkulvar9769 4 года назад +25

      Why would you try to replace guns by magic ? Why not rather use magic to do things that are difficult to achieve with technology ? Teleportation, portals, mind reading, memory manipulation, scrying, invisibility, illusions, transmutation, resurrection, undeath, curses, exorcism, metamorphosis, animate object, telekinesy, time manipulation, impossible floor plans, astral projection, ...
      Also, guns may be better than magic at killing, but magic doesn't trigger metal detectors/body search and can be used to incapacitate without causing death/injuries.
      It could be used for ghost stories, spying, investigating, ...

  • @andrewmelnikov292
    @andrewmelnikov292 4 года назад +72

    "Unless you want to make money"
    Ouch.

  • @DrLuck-xn7ez
    @DrLuck-xn7ez 7 лет назад +69

    He described all young teen books and 80% of all non-shounen anime.

  • @Zellig
    @Zellig 7 лет назад +92

    I would have tolerated Twilight if Bella got it on with a Shoggoth.

    • @LeDomge
      @LeDomge 4 года назад

      @Oak Clarke Tentacle hentai with Bella and Shoggoth

    • @WarmLusamine
      @WarmLusamine 2 года назад

      Why would you torture a Shoggoth like that, you cruel bastard?

  • @arcanejack
    @arcanejack 7 лет назад +472

    How to get out of a love triangle: If you've fallen in love with 2 people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second one.

    • @marshmallowmountains4636
      @marshmallowmountains4636 6 лет назад +150

      HerrMasterLizard
      the real plot of the story is getting her lovers to agree to a polygamous marriage lmao.

    • @memyselfandi432
      @memyselfandi432 6 лет назад +17

      words of wisdom from the great Johnny Depp

    • @GothGoblinNecoArc
      @GothGoblinNecoArc 6 лет назад +17

      Jack Ward thanks for quoting Johnny depp

    • @theoneandonlysassmasterkenobi
      @theoneandonlysassmasterkenobi 5 лет назад +22

      Just realized that's why my main character ends up choosing the second love interest even though he's not really introduced as one.

    • @Hanakothemizumiko
      @Hanakothemizumiko 5 лет назад +47

      Or choose a third one because if you loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second one, but if you loved the second one you wouldn't be still thinking about the first one.

  • @jeova0sanctus0unus
    @jeova0sanctus0unus 7 лет назад +148

    Is it just me or is the idea that Vampires should be vulnerable to garlic just... terribly silly?

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 4 года назад +43

      *vampires taken out or thwarted/defeated by garlic buttered BREAD STICKS whiled the MARY SUE and her MATRIX LIKE PHYSIC BENDING MOVES*

    • @kingnekogon
      @kingnekogon 4 года назад +52

      I always thought of it as garlic smells, and to a creature with a mega sensitive nose like that would be overwhelmed by it.

    • @fialova4471
      @fialova4471 4 года назад +2

      King Nekogon 'Cheeky Vampire' did that with that smell thing.

    • @ziimulhah3223
      @ziimulhah3223 3 года назад +43

      It's because garlic was a holy herb, and vampires were considered demons given flesh

    • @retr0848
      @retr0848 3 года назад +14

      Also, apparently garlic wards off mosquitoes

  • @andreydoronin6995
    @andreydoronin6995 4 года назад +28

    Actually, the "plot hole" that vampires haven't conquered the whole world can be explained (depending on the setting) by the biological rule of ecological pyramid.
    Simply put, the overall mass of specific organisms is much smaller (most of the time) than the overall mass of organisms they feed on. So, in no way the whole mass of predators would be larger than that of herbivores and the mass of herbivores would not be larger than the mass of plantlife.
    Applying that to setting with vampires, their population is hugely limited by their food - us. So, it would be more probable for vampires to become a ruling minority in a similar way to how it worked in the Aztec empire or the Apartheid South Africa OR they can rule from the shadows.

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 7 лет назад +51

    2:54
    I see the inclusion of a certain suitor that'll make the story _BIG_ in Japan...

  • @Punishthefalse
    @Punishthefalse 7 лет назад +63

    The image of an Orc salaryman and an Elf guerilla fighter immediately reminded me of Shadowrun.

    • @Dreigonix
      @Dreigonix 6 лет назад +4

      Shadowrun is awesome!

  • @Rose-xe4ct
    @Rose-xe4ct 4 года назад +76

    The author for the terrible book “A handbook for Mortals” had this video saved in a playlist on her channel. Oh, how ironic.

    • @siyacer
      @siyacer 3 года назад +1

      Huh?

    • @horrorjakei8895
      @horrorjakei8895 2 года назад +3

      looking up the plot summary, immediately i got hit with the absolutely normal name "Scheherazade "Zade" Esther Holder"

    • @WarmLusamine
      @WarmLusamine 2 года назад +1

      Oh god, that book was a trainwreck.

  • @poptartmallshart5323
    @poptartmallshart5323 4 года назад +33

    "a legion of hunky men and tentacle monsters fawning over a single female lead"
    *uh..... Japan would like a word with you*

  • @giuseppeagresta1425
    @giuseppeagresta1425 4 года назад +33

    "A world ruled by vampires where humans are oppressed into chattel slavery sounds utterly boring"
    Kars: kono Kars niwa yume ga aru

  • @intergalactichumanempire9759
    @intergalactichumanempire9759 7 лет назад +588

    Is the protagonist supposed to be Buffy the vampire slayer?

    • @Psychshifted
      @Psychshifted 7 лет назад +35

      Intergalactic Human Empire only if they fall in love with a vampire

    • @midigee
      @midigee 7 лет назад +72

      The protagonist is obviously Bella Prior Everdeen.

    • @Logan_Baron
      @Logan_Baron 7 лет назад +63

      It's a mixture. The storyline of the love triangle and basic character personality description is Bella. The look and the "chosen one" and making her an action hero is Buffy, and there's probably some cliches thrown in from other stories.

    • @blah7983
      @blah7983 7 лет назад +30

      Mostly Bella Swan. Buffy is actually pretty good.

    • @tunka1971
      @tunka1971 6 лет назад +29

      Nah, if you watch Buffy they avoid most of these cliches pretty well even explaining how the fuck vampires can still have abs after being death (spoiler - it is because they have demons living inside them. Duh)

  • @clonedvarient4154
    @clonedvarient4154 7 лет назад +282

    Ahahahahah! A love dodecahedran.....😂

    • @vincentsmit9538
      @vincentsmit9538 7 лет назад

      Cloned Varient no emoji

    • @PRGME7
      @PRGME7 7 лет назад +1

      Cloned Varient how about a dodecapentaeptatessaocoracthedron

    • @SorchaSublime
      @SorchaSublime 7 лет назад +22

      wouldnt a love dodecahedron actually be sort of interesting?not every line was pointed at mary sue after all, so it would actually nd up being a massive clusterfuck of people pining after people who are pining after people who are pining after the first guy, and every participent has about two suitors and a competitor for their affection as well as a target for their affections. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING?

    • @KrautGoesWild
      @KrautGoesWild 7 лет назад +5

      Challenge accepted!

    • @state_song_xprt
      @state_song_xprt 7 лет назад +8

      I will purchase and read any book - no questions asked - that includes a geometrically correct love dodecahedron.

  • @momogb3158
    @momogb3158 7 лет назад +51

    Wow. I bet Stephanie Meyers watched this before thinking of Twilight.

  • @ianread7299
    @ianread7299 6 лет назад +38

    "Now, go ahead and indulge in world building at the cost of romance, unless you want to make money." All Shadowrun authors look from the corner and laugh hysterically.

  • @goblinsinc.8274
    @goblinsinc.8274 4 года назад +63

    J.P.: The FEMALE protagonist has a harem
    Weebs: IF THEY'RE FEMALE IT'S A REVERSE HAREM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!