anyone else loving her "style of talking"? I love to hear her voice and her expressions and espeacially when she does her noises, like she always does with the pufferfish xD it always makes me smile :)
I love the fact you go into so much detail and break everything down for us! Thank you so much. You’re videos are so informative and useful. Thank you for everything you do for us Kati💗☺️x
Hannah L. I'm nikki I agree with your comment it's great how kati goes into so much detail and doesn't leave out important information I enjoy watching kati s podcast s 🙂
Hi, Kati! I am about to listen to this as I have mommy time and do some home improvements. I just wanted to pop in and tell you how much I appreciate you. I started therapy in December after breaking up with a bad marriage therapist. I didn’t realize how bad he was until I started watching your channel. Now I am seeing a therapist weekly for myself, and it is helping so much. I don’t think I would have taken therapy seriously if it weren’t for you. I am so grateful for you and what you put out into the world! Alright, have a great day. Time to go take down wallpaper.
The pufferfish sound effects really added to the whole podcast. Lol no but honestly love this podcast! You give such great advice. Hope you are doing well. Stay safe!
Another great podcast. Even if a question does not sound like it concerns me at first glance - like ED - I still get so much out of your answers. Thank you Kati! And glad, that you are doing better and are managing to write on your book without pressure!
I love this pufferfish analogy. It's exactly what we as victims learn to do to protect ourselves after toxic/abusive/narcissistic relationships. There is a lot of shame that comes with it too. When we have to accept that we kept coming back for more. Or in my case, where I was in several abusive romantic relationships. I've never actually had a healthy one. It does all go back to our attachment and how we learned to love or not love ourselves as children. It of course reminds of the quote "we accept the love we think we deserve" Great episode. You bring much needed peace and tranquility to my day. Thank you! 💕
When I was losing weight, I found indulging in indulgences to be helpful. Let me explain!!! In my opinion, all of the grocery store caramel is nasty. I'll never be satisfied with that even if I were to eat a whole bag (I didn't). See's Candies caramels are delicious but they are $19 a pound! So, spend a little more for something high quality that I know will hit the spot. In my brain, because I spent so much on them, I will have smaller portions to make the quantity last longer. And I'm oddly more inclined to share things I think are really good which means there are fewer of them for me to eat overall. This works for me, I recognize that it may not work for others.
Please would you do a video on how teachers can help with mental health a and what they should do if they suspect a suicidal student or they’ve been told that someone in their class is struggling with depression
Since this video distracted me from studying (as well as other 100 things during the day) I’d rather skip to the last question and pretend that I’m not procrastinating but learning how to stay concentrated 😄
This episode is very helpful and hitting the spot today! Funny to hear this about needing therapy if you feel edgy and ready to cry easily after watching your new video on you yourself feeling this way and needing to see a therapist
Kati, I truly appreciate you taking the time to do these podcasts, AKA and OTDNM- huge fan of both. I can’t talk on behalf of everyone else, but it really has helped me learn more about myself while also providing guidance of how I can better myself. Thank you!!! 💓
Hello everyone in the comments being friendly to everyone here as honestly I am a anxious and nervous person in reality but I'm getting more comfortable now writing in the comments its thanks to you kati your podcast s and helpful advice has been of help to me always much love from UK❤ 🙂
Really enjoyed this episode. It touched on many things that feel very relevant to me personally so thank you :). It got me thinking about the difference between just being alone versus taking intentional time to do some self care and reflection.
Your answer to no. 8 was eye-opening for me. I always seem to end up crying when I'm angry. Damned inconvenient if it happens at work because anger is seen as an expression of strength whereas crying is seen as a sign of weakness - especially if you're a woman, this is a real pitfall. Never realised that anger is a secondary emotion. Your explanation helped me to understand what is going on when I'm furious.
I'm 30 and starting my journey to becoming a therapist as well! Also, telling my therapist about this decision was the best thing I could have done. She has completely supported my journey and answered so many questions. Best of luck to you, whoever asked that question! :)
I just want to put this out there... I'm so grateful for you, and for your wise , kind, grounding, sound , solid words. Thank you so much . The world's a better place with you in it!💕
Hello everyone and hello kati its good to be back in the comments and takeing time out again for myself to watch and listen to your new podcast you are looking nice and seeing the smile I come here for and your important information and advice its always good to hear people's questions and listening to you answer them like your top kati 😊👍
Kati your videos are such a life line for me at the moment, thank you so much! I’ve been putting your videos on full screen so it’s like your here in person as self isolation is pretty ... well isolating - hope that isn’t weird aha
What you said about not wanting to be alone with yourself and be in your body.... my feeling today, very uncomfortable and just wanna crawl out of my skin.
1. 2:26 How to stop irritable outbursts that come all of a sudden when you’re feeling fine? Like I don’t feel any kind of emotion but all of a sudden a minor inconvenience will happen and I get really irritated and annoyed. I feel bad for my poor family and friends who have to deal with me being like this. 2. 17:46 How to stop counting calories? I won’t let myself eat over a certain amount each day now and I feel like I’m becoming a bit obsessed and it’s led to me binge eating every so often. So how can I stop myself from counting the calories when I’m worrying about putting on weight?☺️thanks, Kati! I hope you’re feeling a bit better bless you 3. 27:48 Hey Kati, I have been feeling down and anxious lately as well as not being able to get to sleep or concentrate. Because of this, my school work is getting worse which is adding to the stress. I have tried to talk to people about it but it’s too overwhelming and I can’t go through with it. My family and friends don’t know that I'm struggling because I just pretend everything’s alright around them. Every time I try to open up the anxiety just take over and I don’t say anything. Any advice? 4. 32:34 My therapist seems burnt out. I’ve been with him for three years and I’ve never seen him like this. For the past few weeks, he’s seems checked out during sessions, mixing up names of people in my life, forgetting big things that happened to me. I totally get that we’re all going through a lot right now, even him. But I just don’t know what to do about this. Should I bring it up? Should I wait it out? Thanks so much 5. @ Hi Kati! I’m thirty and not “adulting” very well, is it too late for me to start down the path of becoming a therapist? I know it’s a decade long process, but is it ever too late to start? Also, should I be embarrassed to tell my current therapist that I’d like to pursue becoming a therapist? 6. 43:20 Is it normal to feel guilty about not recovering "fast enough"? I know everyone's journey is different, but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't still be burdening people with my mental illness given all the help I've received (therapy, medication, support system) 7. 51:06 How to break unhealthy attachment style patterns. I recognize them, but when I opened up to the person in particulier and expected a certain reaction and this wasn't met, I had the urge to run so far away from that person, but I still fight against my urge because that person doesn't deserve that kind of behaviour. Disorganised attachment is so exhausting...Thanks for listening/reading and hope my English isn't too bad (not mother tongue) 8. 59:35 Hi Kati, I really don't think I have the ability to feel angry, I just get tearful and then feel really overwhelmed and feel like I can't communicate at all. Why is this happening? 9. 1:05:35 Hi Kati, how do you maintain concentration during work during this pandemic? I’m really struggling! I have also been struggling to sleep at night, do you have any tips that would help with that? I love your channel and your podcast. They are so helpful!
I’m so glad you mentioned the feelings chart as you spoke about it before but it totally skipped my mind. And with that I’m hoping that I will stop sounding like a broken record whenever I post a response of “OMG, Kati you’re the best/you’re so awesome!” Actually that promised me to start now, Katie, you are spectacular!! Although I see my therapist often, I feel like I have 1 billion things going on and despite the frequency of sessions it’s impossible to speak my mind and have enough time to ask all the questions I have, you are so brilliant, as a clinician, the way I look at biology in the human is very much like organ systems, so the concepts that are involved in psychology are, to say the least, nothing like that which the medical provider Learned for the other organ systems. I ruminate over how is it that when there is an error or omission or something like that call mom that I get so triggered, but everyone else seems to be able to control it. Alas a physiological explanation! Idk i’m trying to figure out how to communicate more clearly and succinctly, it’s hard when it’s all you’ve done all your life! Long story longer, she may have been thinking my question more in a rhetorical way, and she said exactly what you did, we need to continue this word to look into the origins of these things activating me so strongly (which now I’m wondering, are hsp, just people who have unrecognized c-ptsd, I mean it rhetorically). Thanks 1billionfor serendipitously answering a question that has long plauged me. Every aspect of what you included when talking about the amygdala and its relationship with the prefrontal cortex and the override, resulting in not well thought out logical answers,and the origins going into something else, was perfect! Wow! This is great, because now I can use a thought process which I’m very familiar with, I E, physiology, all this time, they’ll be some fuck up, and I’ll address it because it’s so intense and if I don’t then it won’t get a dresser and it’ll keep happening, but now I really feel empowered with this whole pathophysiology lesson! I feel that is so much more concrete than a lot of what’s in therapy, because I was asked my therapist about when can I expect to be able to date (I’m disorganized/fearful-avoidant, had no clue, all these decades I just thought I was like it’s not an easy person to date and somehow have an ability to make people run for the hills and when they’re done they’re done! Actually that’s a question that I have, is that the similar outcome with most disorganized attachment folks, their relationships and by the other partner, it’s final, that doesn’t tend to be second chances, that person will completely alienate themselves whereas the person with disorganized attachment doesn’t really understand because they feel that they’ve been very nurturing in the relationship and no physical abuse no verbal abuse etc. I think one of the themes in psychology is that it’s not like conventional medicine, there’s no, OK now you’re ready to date and in a more secure place, it’s more like learning to ride a bike it seems you’re going to fall and fuck up but that’s just part of the process of learning. I’m sending your book to my cousin, my childhood trauma looks like a walk in the park compared to hers, she’s even went into now having conversion disorders like pseudo-seizures! I don’t know who in your team is going to end up reading this message, but hopefully they’ll give you a very summarized version I can’t imagine how much stuff you have on your plate at any given time! You’re amazing, thank you for being amazing, thank you for having the talent of being able to just affectively connect to people and their experience and the amazing very clear explanations you give, you’re so wonderful, I’m so grateful I found your channel (really, I’ve actually recommended your channel TV with some of my patients that I speak to about mental health (consider it a giant compliment, I am extremely meticulous about what sources my patients use for information, you’re very well aware of the abundance of misinformation we do the available on the Internet) Happy 2022, you’re the best!
Thanks for that story on the pufferfishing (love this visual)... I am aware I have done this after a relationship from my teens and it is something I am working on right now so it was nice to hear that story and get some perspective.
Love this woman! She's a beautiful soul and when/if she has children, she'll be a wonderful mom. She's so insightful and helpful. I did the same thing with relationships, I felt bc I loved I had to stay with them, so I dated men that abused me until 1 almost killed me. I was loyal to the most unloyal ppl. I was a love addict bc unbeknownst to me I was deprived of love and support from my mother and father, so I put up with really crappy behavior from men to keep my relationships. At the time, I told myself bc I loved them I was REQUIRED TO FORGIVE bc I'm CHRISTIAN. That was my logic as a kid and young woman. Which led me to a very abusive relationship. I cry too when I get mad.
Amazing advice! Such good questions everyone asked about this week. Thanks so much for answering my question Kati! Means the world, and I feel so motivated now. Hope everyone has a wonderful day :)
I love listening to you Kati! You are amazing! Thank you for all the work you do. I'm really looking forward to reading your book! Are you okay? was totally amazing and life-changing for me.
I get the sense that no one else grew up with intrusive thoughts. Because if I uncritically accepted all my thoughts as beliefs, it would be a sign that something was very wrong with me.
melissa Hatfield. I agree and like your comment these podcast are very helpful I love them too kati is the channel I come too every week I'm nikki I see you in one of kati s other podcast s nice to meet you 🙂
Luv yer videos! You have been on RUclips for quite awhile making videos and I appreciate: 1. the Informative-ness and 2. How you, as a therapist, have "stayed steady" and not let your own political or other views make your videos sound biased. Keep focusing on defining things, and how to deal with them. Perfect. with that said..... (and I am glad you have NOT jumped on this bandwagon. at least, not that I've seen)....i am now seeing other therapists/counselors on RUclips who are...(drum roll please).....making RUclips videos of OTHERS therapists who are "giving bad advice'. (!) Therapists critquing therapists! To me, that smacks of folks "trying-to-be-TOP-DOG-on-the-internet-and-make-a-name-for-themselves! i.e....iiiii KNOW, and the rest of these goons "need to do more research". Its becoming a 1-upmanship game. On the other hand, we all have the right to criticize anything and no one is Above criticism....but still....seems like some new "video fad"....
What you say at the 15 minute mark, is that what is happening when I hear of violent attacks out of the blue on store clerks. It is so scary how so many people are snapping at little things. Being told to wear a mask, some one not wearing one, something out of stock etc.
if you are struggling with sleep i found the app Insight Timer and it has bedtime meditations and they have helped me sleep, the quality of my sleep is better when i use the meditation and i fall asleep easier! highly recommend
Every week I'm able to relate to some if not most of the questions, but holy f*ck nuggets this one hit close to home. Especially the calories and anger...This therapy referal can't come quick enough... Thanks for all the help and advice kati! 🌻 oh and I love the sound effects
Question: I often times get the feeling that I am overwhelmed but I have no idea what what making me overwhelmed. What is up with that? Its exhausting!
Even tho she has lots of repeating points like journaling, feelings chart,etc the repetition is actually something i annoyingly need and im pretty sure a lot of other people do too. Haha
Hi, so I've been struggling with an eating disorder for 2 years. I only started "real" recovery 6 months ago and I'm almost weight restored. I just feel like a fraud because I think that it should take more time. I still use some behaviours, I'm just not losing weight anymore. Is it normal that I feel like this?
Dang, I missed posting a question! Can you one day talk about the difference between avoidance and distraction when it comes to repeated thoughts about trauma? I tend to try to keep myself busy throughout the day to help distract from thoughts of past trauma, but is that avoidance? (Currently not in therapy, nor have I ever been)
Question: What is the appropriate role of a dietitian in eating disorder treatment? What is within their scope of practice to cover, and what things should they leave for a therapist to treat? I didn't have the greatest experience with my dietitian because our work together wasn't trauma informed and started to cause a great deal of harm. Looking back, I feel she might have been overstepping boundaries and giving advice/ making determinations for me that really needed to be left to my therapist. If I ever decide to attempt working with a dietitian again, I could really use some green flag/ red flag markers to look for in finding a good dietitian. I feel like abuse survivors aren't always good with boundaries or what is appropriate, and could really benefit from sign posts to look for when working with ED dietitians in the future.
i have a pretty good way to control my weight. its two parts, first i avoid/limit the amount of food that is clearly crap/unhealthy. the second part is i weight my self every day. if my weight goes up i increase the amount of time i invest in sport this day. i do at least 30 minutes of something every day. but if my weight goes up i do more until my weight goes back to where it was. so a co worker had birthday and everyone had to eat a piece of cake which is not on my positive food list, i just do another 15 minutes of sports or more if the cake was really good and i couldnt stop myself. i do consider food as good/bad/okish and i have a good enough idea what is inside different food, but i dont calculate/count and i dont stop eating just because i hit an artificial limit. gaining weight means you take in more energy then you use. its much more easy to increase the consumption of energy than to limit the amount of food you eat. a side effect is, the more sports you do the more muscles you have and so the passive energy consumption goes up and the amount of energy you can burn during a certain amount of time doing sports. its a positive feedback cycle. the more amount of energy is burned during sport, the more food you can potentially eat, the more muscles can grow. technically the only thing you have to take care of is to not eat junk food.
Hi Kati, Thankyou for answering my question (8)! ❤ I'm wondering if it's a bit of option A and B?! Is that poss? Without divulging my entire life story I can see both having an impact. I tried to write down my emotions today and it turns out it's really difficult to know what they are. I will take your advice and work on it! When you talked about option B I definitely instantly thought of personal examples too! I'm not good at talking normally so just want to say you have made a big difference to me, you have showed me it's ok to ask for help. Thankyou again xx ❤
Hey, for the last question, try a thing called Focusmate! It pairs you up with random people so you can work on camera and hold each other accountable. It works really well.
Is it possible to be sooo focused on "doing the work" on ourselves---that it gets in the way of us Living FOR ourselves. For example, there is nnoooo shortage of things for any person to do. What will happen when, after we have finally: 1. Practiced Mindfulness 2. Admitted our mistakes/faults 3. Ate more fiber 4. De-cluttered our house 5. forgiven others 6. forgiven ourselves 7. become assertive 8. conquered our depression 9. Moved away from the narcissist 10. taken responsibility 11. become more accepting 12. gotten over our anger 13. stopped being manipulated 14. stopped self-harm 15. learned to say NO 16. made a firm decision to actively put more JOY into our individual lives..... After we've finally done all that--what then?? Is everybody "broken"? or is it todays Generation Z "badge of honor"? When we've finally healed our broken-ness and arrived and gotten over the bad stuff...what then? Have we spent ssoooo much time "working on ourselves" that we were too busy to be really "living"?? , and experiencing JOY! I wonder. . .
How do you cope with the restrict-binge-cycle when it is for medical reasons? I got diagnosed with prediabetes and being disciplined with food is so hard - but with not "just" feeling attractive but an actual health condition as reason...the pressure and fear is so high...and I kind of got to the point of preferring to not eat at all than eating the wrong things or too much...
Hi Kati! I moved into college 7 weeks ago and I've been full-on relapsing into anorexia. I have been telling my therapist about it, but I feel like I can't keep telling her I don't eat. I don't really want to recover at the moment and I don't want to burden her by letting her know what I'm doing. How should I deal with this?
Food and body image struggles are B-R-U-T-A-L! For those struggling, I highly, highly recommend a book called “Anti Diet - Reclaim your time, Money and happiness through intuitive eating “ author is Christy Harrison. She’s a registered dietitian specializing in eating disorders. This book is personable and easy to read (although I love the audible version). It explains diet culture, where it came from, goes into depth on restrict binge cycling, fear the of weight gain, and so much more. I often relisten when the body image food struggle get loud in my head. Check it out if you’re up for it. It is not a diet book , it’s very anti diet, pro mental health!
I never went from puberty to adultery ;) not even between 16 and 20. More like age 31 is when I started getting my head together and knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Hi Kati! I have a question about eating disorders. Both me and my friend are bulimic and it helped a lot to talk with her through the issue and support each other(we are also both in therapy with different therapists). I always tell her if I find something that worked for me to cope with it, any techniques to get through, (also shared your channel with her:) and she does the same. But I am never sure If I should tell her if I had an episode or not? On one hand I want to let her know its ok to have slip ups and continue going and I do not want to sound fake saying I am doing so great and feel perfect, on the other hand could this also trigger her to have a binge and I dont want to affect her progress?
Stash Aathill.im nikki i like your comment and can relate and agree because I was also waiting and checking for kati to ask for people to post there questions but nothing come up on kati s channel I too had a question for kati not sure but think the question s are being picked and taken from the questions already posted that was from before I know kati takes notice of the question s with the most thumbs up anyway nice to meet you on kati s video podcast 🙂
10:30 "i hate my job, traffic is so slow, i have nothing to wear. we need to start noticing the thoughts before we accept them as fact" but if you think you hate your job, than you rather probably indeed hate your job. how such thoughts can be anything else but facts, i struggle to understand... and traffic. it's your personal rating, slow or not. one meter is one meter, but traffic is not in SI (or maybe it's in, idk huh). no, really, is that "mental muscle" supposed to help you realize that you actually pissed not at traffic but at something else or it should just make you feel ok with shitty things in your life? ah, "it may!" (11:40) noticed this word on second or third rewatch of this section. thank god, now it make sense. though its contradicting these "our whole life will change", "tracking will help" etc. these were the "tricks", i presume? okie-doke. my brain went kaboom, enjoy the fallout. kinda don't want to be annoying, but kinda will be. PS i noticed recently sound of the videos has changed (aside from became simply louder). maybe i'm seeing things, but if not - it's nice, nice. 16:56 ah! i guess that's the explanation. now i don't have to click on that button, but few hours of my brain being a washing machine with rock inside shall not go unnoticed. i apologise for that.
a funny thought. If I had met you in real life and didnt hear something that you said and felt like I needed to her it again, I think my brain would have told me to, or insisted that I hit the rewine button to here it again. Like, me: "oh didnt Catch that, what did she say" brain: "hit the rewine button" me "eeehm, I feel confused, something is wrong With that, what is it brain?.." brain: "oh, right, I mean you have to ask!" Me: "thanks!" Maybe it would have had to happen a few times before my mind stopped suggesting that solution. something similar has happened before, and its funny going through, or having my mind suggest something like that when I stand in front of someone who has usually been inside a computer where you just hit pause and rewind and so on. That was just my thought right now, kind of unrelated to the video :P
Katie I want to ask you the same question that I did but shorter version I have five mental health disabilities and the main one that I just got diagnosed with now is dissociative identity disorder the others are borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and I also have insomnia I was wondering and I have been trying to deal with all of this but how can I get my alters to actually come out and speak to my therapist and I’m tired of being the one to relay everything to her and they just seem to be too afraid to even come to the very front and take control of the body let alone they won’t talk to one another except one alter that does she actually has been the go between as far as each between each other of the altars and they’re not acknowledging completely that they are a part of the system how do I deal with the situation without stressing out and wanting to get through my traumas and dealing with each alter the holes the traumas currently I have five alters what is a persecutor and he is the worst of all I am I also have a bunch of other voices way back in the headspace that I can’t quite make out entirely but they’re there it’s like being a Borg on Star Trek at times it’s not bad dealing with the first five but the rest that are back there it gives me a headache when they all start up at once so what do I do can you help me
When you're on cortisone for a while all you think about is when you can eat again. First thought of the day is what there is to eat. That switch that tells you to stop eating is broken and you just eat and eat and eat. You never feel satisfied and you can't remember how much or when last you ate. Is that an eating disorder or just plain the cortisone making you a fat fuck?
Hi Kati! I moved into college 7 weeks ago and I've been full-on relapsing into anorexia. I have been telling my therapist about it, but I feel like I can't keep telling her I don't eat. I don't really want to recover at the moment and I don't want to burden her by letting her know what I'm doing. How should I deal with this?
🌸Stamps
1. 2:28 (or if your heartless & dont wanna hear about the birds nest 3:12 )
2. 17:47
3. 27:49
4. 32:35
5. 37:51
6. 43:24
7. 51:07
8. 59:37
9. 1:05:35
Thanks Kati & Sean love🌸
Thank you Shay. This is very helpful :)
@@OTDM 🙈💗
Thanks so much, really appreciate you doing this!🌞
@@liv8121 Awh,its honestly no problem 🌻
“Can’t the therapist therapy themself?” Even the best tow-truck in the world can’t tow itself
Your talent to communicate and help people is a gift to the world.
anyone else loving her "style of talking"? I love to hear her voice and her expressions and espeacially when she does her noises, like she always does with the pufferfish xD it always makes me smile :)
A good shower cry is the best!!! Especially when followed by a fluffy night robe, slippers and a cup of peppermint tea 👌🏻
m
I love the fact you go into so much detail and break everything down for us! Thank you so much. You’re videos are so informative and useful. Thank you for everything you do for us Kati💗☺️x
Hannah L. I'm nikki I agree with your comment it's great how kati goes into so much detail and doesn't leave out important information I enjoy watching kati s podcast s 🙂
Yes exactly!!!
Hi, Kati! I am about to listen to this as I have mommy time and do some home improvements.
I just wanted to pop in and tell you how much I appreciate you. I started therapy in December after breaking up with a bad marriage therapist. I didn’t realize how bad he was until I started watching your channel. Now I am seeing a therapist weekly for myself, and it is helping so much. I don’t think I would have taken therapy seriously if it weren’t for you. I am so grateful for you and what you put out into the world!
Alright, have a great day. Time to go take down wallpaper.
The pufferfish sound effects really added to the whole podcast. Lol no but honestly love this podcast! You give such great advice. Hope you are doing well. Stay safe!
These podcasts are healing me
Another great podcast. Even if a question does not sound like it concerns me at first glance - like ED - I still get so much out of your answers. Thank you Kati!
And glad, that you are doing better and are managing to write on your book without pressure!
I love this pufferfish analogy. It's exactly what we as victims learn to do to protect ourselves after toxic/abusive/narcissistic relationships. There is a lot of shame that comes with it too. When we have to accept that we kept coming back for more. Or in my case, where I was in several abusive romantic relationships. I've never actually had a healthy one. It does all go back to our attachment and how we learned to love or not love ourselves as children. It of course reminds of the quote "we accept the love we think we deserve"
Great episode. You bring much needed peace and tranquility to my day. Thank you! 💕
When I was losing weight, I found indulging in indulgences to be helpful. Let me explain!!!
In my opinion, all of the grocery store caramel is nasty. I'll never be satisfied with that even if I were to eat a whole bag (I didn't). See's Candies caramels are delicious but they are $19 a pound!
So, spend a little more for something high quality that I know will hit the spot. In my brain, because I spent so much on them, I will have smaller portions to make the quantity last longer. And I'm oddly more inclined to share things I think are really good which means there are fewer of them for me to eat overall. This works for me, I recognize that it may not work for others.
Please would you do a video on how teachers can help with mental health a and what they should do if they suspect a suicidal student or they’ve been told that someone in their class is struggling with depression
Since this video distracted me from studying (as well as other 100 things during the day) I’d rather skip to the last question and pretend that I’m not procrastinating but learning how to stay concentrated 😄
hahah!! I love it :) xoxo
Thank you for answering my questions Kati! Super helpful as always. You’re amazing.
I hope you’re well and I hope you have a good day☺️xx
Of course!! I am so glad it was helpful :) xoxo
#3- I resonated with "say it out loud" when you feel like you can't speak it. I didn't want to "claim" a lot and still struggle some. Great advise!!
This episode is very helpful and hitting the spot today! Funny to hear this about needing therapy if you feel edgy and ready to cry easily after watching your new video on you yourself feeling this way and needing to see a therapist
Kati, I truly appreciate you taking the time to do these podcasts, AKA and OTDNM- huge fan of both. I can’t talk on behalf of everyone else, but it really has helped me learn more about myself while also providing guidance of how I can better myself. Thank you!!! 💓
Hello everyone in the comments being friendly to everyone here as honestly I am a anxious and nervous person in reality but I'm getting more comfortable now writing in the comments its thanks to you kati your podcast s and helpful advice has been of help to me always much love from UK❤ 🙂
Really enjoyed this episode. It touched on many things that feel very relevant to me personally so thank you :). It got me thinking about the difference between just being alone versus taking intentional time to do some self care and reflection.
We live in the woods and have so many baby birds right now. They are wonderful. Good way to reflect and be grateful
Your answer to no. 8 was eye-opening for me. I always seem to end up crying when I'm angry. Damned inconvenient if it happens at work because anger is seen as an expression of strength whereas crying is seen as a sign of weakness - especially if you're a woman, this is a real pitfall. Never realised that anger is a secondary emotion. Your explanation helped me to understand what is going on when I'm furious.
I'm 30 and starting my journey to becoming a therapist as well! Also, telling my therapist about this decision was the best thing I could have done. She has completely supported my journey and answered so many questions. Best of luck to you, whoever asked that question! :)
Question #8 is exactly me. Glad to know I'm not alone
I just want to put this out there... I'm so grateful for you, and for your wise , kind, grounding, sound , solid words. Thank you so much . The world's a better place with you in it!💕
As a confused 20 yr old hiding away from the world in their room 38:41 was really good to hear.
Hello everyone and hello kati its good to be back in the comments and takeing time out again for myself to watch and listen to your new podcast you are looking nice and seeing the smile I come here for and your important information and advice its always good to hear people's questions and listening to you answer them like your top kati 😊👍
Thank you for these videos! There is always a few questions that I can relate to.
I can’t believe you have a nest!!!! So jealous lol 😂 🥰🙋🏻♀️
Hi Kati! Thank you for answering my question in such a helpful way!
Kati your videos are such a life line for me at the moment, thank you so much! I’ve been putting your videos on full screen so it’s like your here in person as self isolation is pretty ... well isolating - hope that isn’t weird aha
What you said about not wanting to be alone with yourself and be in your body.... my feeling today, very uncomfortable and just wanna crawl out of my skin.
OMG, I was singing the jingle song, Ask Kati Anything 🤣🥰💕
1. 2:26 How to stop irritable outbursts that come all of a sudden when you’re feeling fine? Like I don’t feel any kind of emotion but all of a sudden a minor inconvenience will happen and I get really irritated and annoyed. I feel bad for my poor family and friends who have to deal with me being like this.
2. 17:46 How to stop counting calories? I won’t let myself eat over a certain amount each day now and I feel like I’m becoming a bit obsessed and it’s led to me binge eating every so often. So how can I stop myself from counting the calories when I’m worrying about putting on weight?☺️thanks, Kati! I hope you’re feeling a bit better bless you
3. 27:48 Hey Kati, I have been feeling down and anxious lately as well as not being able to get to sleep or concentrate. Because of this, my school work is getting worse which is adding to the stress. I have tried to talk to people about it but it’s too overwhelming and I can’t go through with it. My family and friends don’t know that I'm struggling because I just pretend everything’s alright around them. Every time I try to open up the anxiety just take over and I don’t say anything. Any advice?
4. 32:34 My therapist seems burnt out. I’ve been with him for three years and I’ve never seen him like this. For the past few weeks, he’s seems checked out during sessions, mixing up names of people in my life, forgetting big things that happened to me. I totally get that we’re all going through a lot right now, even him. But I just don’t know what to do about this. Should I bring it up? Should I wait it out? Thanks so much
5. @ Hi Kati! I’m thirty and not “adulting” very well, is it too late for me to start down the path of becoming a therapist? I know it’s a decade long process, but is it ever too late to start? Also, should I be embarrassed to tell my current therapist that I’d like to pursue becoming a therapist?
6. 43:20 Is it normal to feel guilty about not recovering "fast enough"? I know everyone's journey is different, but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't still be burdening people with my mental illness given all the help I've received (therapy, medication, support system)
7. 51:06 How to break unhealthy attachment style patterns. I recognize them, but when I opened up to the person in particulier and expected a certain reaction and this wasn't met, I had the urge to run so far away from that person, but I still fight against my urge because that person doesn't deserve that kind of behaviour. Disorganised attachment is so exhausting...Thanks for listening/reading and hope my English isn't too bad (not mother tongue)
8. 59:35 Hi Kati, I really don't think I have the ability to feel angry, I just get tearful and then feel really overwhelmed and feel like I can't communicate at all. Why is this happening?
9. 1:05:35 Hi Kati, how do you maintain concentration during work during this pandemic? I’m really struggling! I have also been struggling to sleep at night, do you have any tips that would help with that? I love your channel and your podcast. They are so helpful!
Love listening to these!! I find them so relatable and often when I can’t fall asleep, I listen to a podcast and it helps calm me down x thanks Kati💗
I’m so glad you mentioned the feelings chart as you spoke about it before but it totally skipped my mind. And with that I’m hoping that I will stop sounding like a broken record whenever I post a response of “OMG, Kati you’re the best/you’re so awesome!” Actually that promised me to start now, Katie, you are spectacular!! Although I see my therapist often, I feel like I have 1 billion things going on and despite the frequency of sessions it’s impossible to speak my mind and have enough time to ask all the questions I have, you are so brilliant, as a clinician, the way I look at biology in the human is very much like organ systems, so the concepts that are involved in psychology are, to say the least, nothing like that which the medical provider Learned for the other organ systems. I ruminate over how is it that when there is an error or omission or something like that call mom that I get so triggered, but everyone else seems to be able to control it. Alas a physiological explanation! Idk i’m trying to figure out how to communicate more clearly and succinctly, it’s hard when it’s all you’ve done all your life! Long story longer, she may have been thinking my question more in a rhetorical way, and she said exactly what you did, we need to continue this word to look into the origins of these things activating me so strongly (which now I’m wondering, are hsp, just people who have unrecognized c-ptsd, I mean it rhetorically). Thanks 1billionfor serendipitously answering a question that has long plauged me. Every aspect of what you included when talking about the amygdala and its relationship with the prefrontal cortex and the override, resulting in not well thought out logical answers,and the origins going into something else, was perfect! Wow! This is great, because now I can use a thought process which I’m very familiar with, I E, physiology, all this time, they’ll be some fuck up, and I’ll address it because it’s so intense and if I don’t then it won’t get a dresser and it’ll keep happening, but now I really feel empowered with this whole pathophysiology lesson! I feel that is so much more concrete than a lot of what’s in therapy, because I was asked my therapist about when can I expect to be able to date (I’m disorganized/fearful-avoidant, had no clue, all these decades I just thought I was like it’s not an easy person to date and somehow have an ability to make people run for the hills and when they’re done they’re done! Actually that’s a question that I have, is that the similar outcome with most disorganized attachment folks, their relationships and by the other partner, it’s final, that doesn’t tend to be second chances, that person will completely alienate themselves whereas the person with disorganized attachment doesn’t really understand because they feel that they’ve been very nurturing in the relationship and no physical abuse no verbal abuse etc. I think one of the themes in psychology is that it’s not like conventional medicine, there’s no, OK now you’re ready to date and in a more secure place, it’s more like learning to ride a bike it seems you’re going to fall and fuck up but that’s just part of the process of learning. I’m sending your book to my cousin, my childhood trauma looks like a walk in the park compared to hers, she’s even went into now having conversion disorders like pseudo-seizures! I don’t know who in your team is going to end up reading this message, but hopefully they’ll give you a very summarized version I can’t imagine how much stuff you have on your plate at any given time! You’re amazing, thank you for being amazing, thank you for having the talent of being able to just affectively connect to people and their experience and the amazing very clear explanations you give, you’re so wonderful, I’m so grateful I found your channel (really, I’ve actually recommended your channel TV with some of my patients that I speak to about mental health (consider it a giant compliment, I am extremely meticulous about what sources my patients use for information, you’re very well aware of the abundance of misinformation we do the available on the Internet) Happy 2022, you’re the best!
Intuitive eating changed everything for me.
Thanks for that story on the pufferfishing (love this visual)... I am aware I have done this after a relationship from my teens and it is something I am working on right now so it was nice to hear that story and get some perspective.
Love this woman! She's a beautiful soul and when/if she has children, she'll be a wonderful mom. She's so insightful and helpful. I did the same thing with relationships, I felt bc I loved I had to stay with them, so I dated men that abused me until 1 almost killed me. I was loyal to the most unloyal ppl. I was a love addict bc unbeknownst to me I was deprived of love and support from my mother and father, so I put up with really crappy behavior from men to keep my relationships. At the time, I told myself bc I loved them I was REQUIRED TO FORGIVE bc I'm CHRISTIAN. That was my logic as a kid and young woman. Which led me to a very abusive relationship. I cry too when I get mad.
Tash T....she has said in previous videos she and her husband aren't planning on having any children.
I am loving these!! So glad you’ve decided to make “ask Katie anything!” Yay!
Amazing advice! Such good questions everyone asked about this week. Thanks so much for answering my question Kati! Means the world, and I feel so motivated now. Hope everyone has a wonderful day :)
Okay but the way Kati said “Stupid fuckin’ good thoughts” is killing me because I’m currently dealing w/ an eating disorder honestly I feel the same.
I love listening to you Kati! You are amazing! Thank you for all the work you do. I'm really looking forward to reading your book! Are you okay? was totally amazing and life-changing for me.
Hope everyone is doing well and staying safe
I really love and appreciate the time stamps. Thank you.
Great questions followed with a plunder of great answers AND tips! Thanks Kati :-)
Thank you for doing these videos! It’s very helpful in trying times
Yes! My next hour is sorted 😁😊
I get the sense that no one else grew up with intrusive thoughts. Because if I uncritically accepted all my thoughts as beliefs, it would be a sign that something was very wrong with me.
Love these Kati they are very helpful love you 😍
Awe yay!! I am so glad :) xoxo
melissa Hatfield. I agree and like your comment these podcast are very helpful I love them too kati is the channel I come too every week I'm nikki I see you in one of kati s other podcast s nice to meet you 🙂
Luv yer videos! You have been on RUclips for quite awhile making videos and I appreciate:
1. the Informative-ness and
2. How you, as a therapist, have "stayed steady" and not let your own political or other views make your videos sound biased.
Keep focusing on defining things, and how to deal with them. Perfect. with that said.....
(and I am glad you have NOT jumped on this bandwagon. at least, not that I've seen)....i am now seeing other therapists/counselors on RUclips who are...(drum roll please).....making RUclips videos of OTHERS therapists who are "giving bad advice'. (!) Therapists critquing therapists!
To me, that smacks of folks "trying-to-be-TOP-DOG-on-the-internet-and-make-a-name-for-themselves! i.e....iiiii KNOW, and the rest of these goons "need to do more research". Its becoming a 1-upmanship game. On the other hand, we all have the right to criticize anything and no one is Above criticism....but still....seems like some new "video fad"....
"Oh I remember you, you piece of shit!"
Cracked me up 🤣🤣
What you say at the 15 minute mark, is that what is happening when I hear of violent attacks out of the blue on store clerks. It is so scary how so many people are snapping at little things. Being told to wear a mask, some one not wearing one, something out of stock etc.
if you are struggling with sleep i found the app Insight Timer and it has bedtime meditations and they have helped me sleep, the quality of my sleep is better when i use the meditation and i fall asleep easier! highly recommend
Every week I'm able to relate to some if not most of the questions, but holy f*ck nuggets this one hit close to home. Especially the calories and anger...This therapy referal can't come quick enough...
Thanks for all the help and advice kati! 🌻 oh and I love the sound effects
Question: I often times get the feeling that I am overwhelmed but I have no idea what what making me overwhelmed. What is up with that? Its exhausting!
Even tho she has lots of repeating points like journaling, feelings chart,etc the repetition is actually something i annoyingly need and im pretty sure a lot of other people do too. Haha
i hope you have a good day kati, i appreciate you so much :)
Awe thanks Iris :) I hope you have a good day too!! xoxo
Pssssst, Hey Iris fancy seeing you here 😂
@@shay1525 shay!!!! hello!! i hope you have a good day too hehe
@@ezratijssenlolol😂 Thank uu hope you do too 🌸🧚♀️
Hi, so I've been struggling with an eating disorder for 2 years. I only started "real" recovery 6 months ago and I'm almost weight restored. I just feel like a fraud because I think that it should take more time. I still use some behaviours, I'm just not losing weight anymore. Is it normal that I feel like this?
Dang, I missed posting a question! Can you one day talk about the difference between avoidance and distraction when it comes to repeated thoughts about trauma? I tend to try to keep myself busy throughout the day to help distract from thoughts of past trauma, but is that avoidance? (Currently not in therapy, nor have I ever been)
Question: What is the appropriate role of a dietitian in eating disorder treatment? What is within their scope of practice to cover, and what things should they leave for a therapist to treat? I didn't have the greatest experience with my dietitian because our work together wasn't trauma informed and started to cause a great deal of harm. Looking back, I feel she might have been overstepping boundaries and giving advice/ making determinations for me that really needed to be left to my therapist. If I ever decide to attempt working with a dietitian again, I could really use some green flag/ red flag markers to look for in finding a good dietitian. I feel like abuse survivors aren't always good with boundaries or what is appropriate, and could really benefit from sign posts to look for when working with ED dietitians in the future.
i have a pretty good way to control my weight. its two parts, first i avoid/limit the amount of food that is clearly crap/unhealthy. the second part is i weight my self every day. if my weight goes up i increase the amount of time i invest in sport this day. i do at least 30 minutes of something every day. but if my weight goes up i do more until my weight goes back to where it was.
so a co worker had birthday and everyone had to eat a piece of cake which is not on my positive food list, i just do another 15 minutes of sports or more if the cake was really good and i couldnt stop myself. i do consider food as good/bad/okish and i have a good enough idea what is inside different food, but i dont calculate/count and i dont stop eating just because i hit an artificial limit.
gaining weight means you take in more energy then you use. its much more easy to increase the consumption of energy than to limit the amount of food you eat.
a side effect is, the more sports you do the more muscles you have and so the passive energy consumption goes up and the amount of energy you can burn during a certain amount of time doing sports. its a positive feedback cycle. the more amount of energy is burned during sport, the more food you can potentially eat, the more muscles can grow.
technically the only thing you have to take care of is to not eat junk food.
I would talk to someone, because this sounds very unhealthy the way you are going about to control your weight.
Hi Kati,
Thankyou for answering my question (8)! ❤
I'm wondering if it's a bit of option A and B?! Is that poss? Without divulging my entire life story I can see both having an impact. I tried to write down my emotions today and it turns out it's really difficult to know what they are. I will take your advice and work on it! When you talked about option B I definitely instantly thought of personal examples too! I'm not good at talking normally so just want to say you have made a big difference to me, you have showed me it's ok to ask for help.
Thankyou again xx ❤
Hey, for the last question, try a thing called Focusmate! It pairs you up with random people so you can work on camera and hold each other accountable. It works really well.
Does it have an option where you can not use the camera?
And unfortunately I can't hear the birds - but isn't it great to have them right at your backdoor? I enjoy hearing birds very much.
I love this
Thanks for answering my question
Is it possible to be sooo focused on "doing the work" on ourselves---that it gets in the way of us Living FOR ourselves.
For example, there is nnoooo shortage of things for any person to do. What will happen when, after we have finally:
1. Practiced Mindfulness
2. Admitted our mistakes/faults
3. Ate more fiber
4. De-cluttered our house
5. forgiven others
6. forgiven ourselves
7. become assertive
8. conquered our depression
9. Moved away from the narcissist
10. taken responsibility
11. become more accepting
12. gotten over our anger
13. stopped being manipulated
14. stopped self-harm
15. learned to say NO
16. made a firm decision to actively put more JOY into our individual lives.....
After we've finally done all that--what then??
Is everybody "broken"? or is it todays Generation Z "badge of honor"?
When we've finally healed our broken-ness and arrived and gotten over the bad stuff...what then?
Have we spent ssoooo much time "working on ourselves" that we were too busy to be really "living"?? , and experiencing JOY! I wonder. . .
How do you cope with the restrict-binge-cycle when it is for medical reasons? I got diagnosed with prediabetes and being disciplined with food is so hard - but with not "just" feeling attractive but an actual health condition as reason...the pressure and fear is so high...and I kind of got to the point of preferring to not eat at all than eating the wrong things or too much...
Hi Kati! I moved into college 7 weeks ago and I've been full-on relapsing into anorexia. I have been telling my therapist about it, but I feel like I can't keep telling her I don't eat. I don't really want to recover at the moment and I don't want to burden her by letting her know what I'm doing. How should I deal with this?
Food and body image struggles are
B-R-U-T-A-L! For those struggling, I highly, highly recommend a book called “Anti Diet - Reclaim your time, Money and happiness through intuitive eating “ author is Christy Harrison. She’s a registered dietitian specializing in eating disorders. This book is personable and easy to read (although I love the audible version). It explains diet culture, where it came from, goes into depth on restrict binge cycling, fear the of weight gain, and so much more. I often relisten when the body image food struggle get loud in my head. Check it out if you’re up for it. It is not a diet book , it’s very anti diet, pro mental health!
I never went from puberty to adultery ;) not even between 16 and 20. More like age 31 is when I started getting my head together and knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I think of food all day... i’m always thinking what i eat, is it too much, should i not eat... also i weight my self like 10 times a day...
Hi Kati! I have a question about eating disorders. Both me and my friend are bulimic and it helped a lot to talk with her through the issue and support each other(we are also both in therapy with different therapists). I always tell her if I find something that worked for me to cope with it, any techniques to get through, (also shared your channel with her:) and she does the same. But I am never sure If I should tell her if I had an episode or not? On one hand I want to let her know its ok to have slip ups and continue going and I do not want to sound fake saying I am doing so great and feel perfect, on the other hand could this also trigger her to have a binge and I dont want to affect her progress?
You did not ask for questions this week. I had mine ready to post it in the community post's comments. :(
Awwh, there must have just been tonnes in the last one she said she might work off the posts for two weeks...im sure she will ask next week tho 💗
Stash Aathill.im nikki i like your comment and can relate and agree because I was also waiting and checking for kati to ask for people to post there questions but nothing come up on kati s channel I too had a question for kati not sure but think the question s are being picked and taken from the questions already posted that was from before I know kati takes notice of the question s with the most thumbs up anyway nice to meet you on kati s video podcast 🙂
@@shay1525 yeah. Thanks for the reply :)
@@syedadil8970 No prob, hope you have a good week! 👼
Good questions
10:30 "i hate my job, traffic is so slow, i have nothing to wear. we need to start noticing the thoughts before we accept them as fact"
but if you think you hate your job, than you rather probably indeed hate your job. how such thoughts can be anything else but facts, i struggle to understand... and traffic. it's your personal rating, slow or not. one meter is one meter, but traffic is not in SI (or maybe it's in, idk huh). no, really, is that "mental muscle" supposed to help you realize that you actually pissed not at traffic but at something else or it should just make you feel ok with shitty things in your life?
ah, "it may!" (11:40) noticed this word on second or third rewatch of this section. thank god, now it make sense. though its contradicting these "our whole life will change", "tracking will help" etc. these were the "tricks", i presume?
okie-doke. my brain went kaboom, enjoy the fallout. kinda don't want to be annoying, but kinda will be.
PS i noticed recently sound of the videos has changed (aside from became simply louder). maybe i'm seeing things, but if not - it's nice, nice.
16:56 ah! i guess that's the explanation. now i don't have to click on that button, but few hours of my brain being a washing machine with rock inside shall not go unnoticed. i apologise for that.
Hey Katie, people, Do you know if being on a.d.h.d. mess could disqualify me from driving big rigs?
Meds
a funny thought. If I had met you in real life and didnt hear something that you said and felt like I needed to her it again, I think my brain would have told me to, or insisted that I hit the rewine button to here it again. Like, me: "oh didnt Catch that, what did she say" brain: "hit the rewine button" me "eeehm, I feel confused, something is wrong With that, what is it brain?.." brain: "oh, right, I mean you have to ask!" Me: "thanks!"
Maybe it would have had to happen a few times before my mind stopped suggesting that solution. something similar has happened before, and its funny going through, or having my mind suggest something like that when I stand in front of someone who has usually been inside a computer where you just hit pause and rewind and so on. That was just my thought right now, kind of unrelated to the video :P
#6 has my name ALL OVER IT!!! Ugh ;-)
You got it, dude.
Nice. Lol
Katie I want to ask you the same question that I did but shorter version I have five mental health disabilities and the main one that I just got diagnosed with now is dissociative identity disorder the others are borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and I also have insomnia I was wondering and I have been trying to deal with all of this but how can I get my alters to actually come out and speak to my therapist and I’m tired of being the one to relay everything to her and they just seem to be too afraid to even come to the very front and take control of the body let alone they won’t talk to one another except one alter that does she actually has been the go between as far as each between each other of the altars and they’re not acknowledging completely that they are a part of the system how do I deal with the situation without stressing out and wanting to get through my traumas and dealing with each alter the holes the traumas currently I have five alters what is a persecutor and he is the worst of all I am I also have a bunch of other voices way back in the headspace that I can’t quite make out entirely but they’re there it’s like being a Borg on Star Trek at times it’s not bad dealing with the first five but the rest that are back there it gives me a headache when they all start up at once so what do I do can you help me
I encourage individuals to consider neurofeedback also.
Another bridge statement, “Yet.” As in, “I haven’t completed my education-yet.”
hi kati. id like to ask you something privately...is that ok? im a school counsellor and was a social worker of 14 years. but my question is personal.
When you're on cortisone for a while all you think about is when you can eat again. First thought of the day is what there is to eat. That switch that tells you to stop eating is broken and you just eat and eat and eat. You never feel satisfied and you can't remember how much or when last you ate. Is that an eating disorder or just plain the cortisone making you a fat fuck?
🙋♀️Hey Katie - Check out Richard Grannon’s work on emotional literacy on IG. Powerful parallels.
I like turtles.
You do laundry outside?
Hi Kati! I moved into college 7 weeks ago and I've been full-on relapsing into anorexia. I have been telling my therapist about it, but I feel like I can't keep telling her I don't eat. I don't really want to recover at the moment and I don't want to burden her by letting her know what I'm doing. How should I deal with this?