Ask yourself why you would want to be with someone that you have to watch videos to figure out. Heal your anxious preoccupied attachment style and find a secure partner unless you want to loose your mind trying to keep them from running.
I concur. These mental gymnastics with my DA ex are OVER. Good riddance to him. NEVER again with these soulless Avoidants I am secure attachment and will remain so . . ❤
The problem though is that there is not an abundance of single secure people out there in the dating world. This requires us to work on ourselves and to work to understand others. If avoidant people are not your cup of tea, then by all means avoid them (no pun intended). But this may mean you are left with an anxious person as an option if you can’t find a secure person. That’s not any better of a scenario.
I agree it’s hard to find secure people as they are usually already in secure relationships but if we work on ourselves we wouldn’t get attracted to insecure people avoidant or anxious,I guess opt to stay single till then or go for an insecure who’s on the path to healing. That being said out of the two an anxious person would be a better choice because they do have the ability to self reflect and more inclined to get therapy and own up to being triggered etc where as avoidants are avoidant to all the above. I’ve heard psychiatrists say that narcissists & avoidantants are the most likely PD’s that don’t go for therapy.
I'm so ashamed I want to die I can't bear this grief I feel so much shame I'm the oldest and my youngest sibling is getting married... AGAIN! (for the second time!!) meanwhile, I've never been married, I have no children, in fact, I've never actually ever been: in a real relationship... (just an awful horrific series of abusive "situationships") I die of the grief and shame just die
I am grateful to have found your channel. I have been learning so much about the traits of a DA which has helped me tremendously in understanding my DA boyfriend. And this video has unlocked so many doubts I had about his love for me bc I govern on anxious attachment style. There have been many days where I’ve driven myself crazy doubting his commitment bc obviously his way of showing love for me differs from the way I would expect him to based on my anxious tendencies. When I can empathize with how he thinks and behaves, then I can let my guard down and accept more of his love. Clarity helps so much. The information in this video is priceless and may strengthen our relationship. Thank you! 🙏
These are all spot on. He did all of these. I’m an FA. We definitely speak different love languages. He would give me little gifts and money and always talks about how he tells me things he doesn’t tell others.
Wow, Damn, people are so judgemental. I recognize a lot of what's being said. But you guys forget that it's not a thing you are born with. So aslong we're improving ourself through self reflecting etc, what is the hate for? Greetings, from a avoidant.
That sucks! Clearly their fear of intimacy won over their need for love. It has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry you went through that. Must have been very confusing.
Vey helpful video. Thank you! My DA never initiate texting It has always been me But when I do he seems very happy. So I kept doing it Is he stringing me along? Will it get better? Am I wasting my time? Any advice?
you never know. i had a da ex. she likes independence. i gave her lots of freedom as i trusted her being a secure. like you, its always me sending good morning etc. if i dont send anything, she wouldnt send me anything. that got me thinking if i did something wrong even though im a secure. we could go on dates and enjoy ourselves. but when it came to something serious, the depth of the conversation was very shallow. When we had conflicts (voice isnt raised/no shouting etc), i tried to reason why but she just shut down by saying lets not talk about this; avoiding to solve the problem. So they dont share what they think or feel. Its not easy to guess what they are thinking. I dont think a healthy relationship should be like this. it takes a toll on the partner. its like walking on egg shells with what i should say fearing it might trigger her unknowingly. Don't put yourself into similar situation if you can.
Ask yourself why you would want to be with someone that you have to watch videos to figure out. Heal your anxious preoccupied attachment style and find a secure partner unless you want to loose your mind trying to keep them from running.
I concur. These mental gymnastics with my DA ex are OVER. Good riddance to him. NEVER again with these soulless Avoidants I am secure attachment and will remain so . . ❤
@AllUserNamesAreUsedsame here,but be happy that you figured out sooner than later that it’s a lost cause.
Good one😂
The problem though is that there is not an abundance of single secure people out there in the dating world. This requires us to work on ourselves and to work to understand others. If avoidant people are not your cup of tea, then by all means avoid them (no pun intended). But this may mean you are left with an anxious person as an option if you can’t find a secure person. That’s not any better of a scenario.
I agree it’s hard to find secure people as they are usually already in secure relationships but if we work on ourselves we wouldn’t get attracted to insecure people avoidant or anxious,I guess opt to stay single till then or go for an insecure who’s on the path to healing. That being said out of the two an anxious person would be a better choice because they do have the ability to self reflect and more inclined to get therapy and own up to being triggered etc where as avoidants are avoidant to all the above.
I’ve heard psychiatrists say that narcissists & avoidantants are the most likely PD’s that don’t go for therapy.
As much as we like them.. it’s heartbreaking to share a life and be vulnerable with them
I have fought with my DA and we we able to mend. Recently i told him i missed spending time and i got an entire day😊
I'm so happy to hear that. I hope it keeps moving from strength to strength.
This is very helpful, thanks.
This type of people should not get married. They are very difficult to deal with
This is the most comprehensive video I've seen on this! Thank you :)
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for the comment. I find it very encouraging 🩷
My DA pecks, and shuns kisses.
I'm so ashamed
I want to die
I can't bear this grief
I feel so much shame
I'm the oldest
and my youngest sibling is getting married...
AGAIN! (for the second time!!)
meanwhile, I've never been married, I have no children,
in fact, I've never actually ever been: in a real relationship...
(just an awful horrific series of abusive "situationships")
I die of the grief and shame
just die
I am grateful to have found your channel. I have been learning so much about the traits of a DA which has helped me tremendously in understanding my DA boyfriend. And this video has unlocked so many doubts I had about his love for me bc I govern on anxious attachment style. There have been many days where I’ve driven myself crazy doubting his commitment bc obviously his way of showing love for me differs from the way I would expect him to based on my anxious tendencies. When I can empathize with how he thinks and behaves, then I can let my guard down and accept more of his love. Clarity helps so much. The information in this video is priceless and may strengthen our relationship. Thank you! 🙏
This is beautiful. Understanding and compassion for ourselves and others goes a far way. I wish you luck. 🩷
The last few minutes were a really good reality check. Well said, as DA is not and should not be a static state if you’re willing to grow and change.
Thank you for this one. Very helpful and describes my person almost exactly!
These are all spot on. He did all of these. I’m an FA. We definitely speak different love languages. He would give me little gifts and money and always talks about how he tells me things he doesn’t tell others.
Exactly, it's in the small things.
Very helpful video ! Keep up,the good works sharing your knowledge with us ! 😊😊👌👌
It is a pleasure. Thanks for being a part of the tribe. 🩷
Wow, Damn, people are so judgemental. I recognize a lot of what's being said. But you guys forget that it's not a thing you are born with. So aslong we're improving ourself through self reflecting etc, what is the hate for?
Greetings, from a avoidant.
Had all these indicators and they still ran in the end?
That sucks! Clearly their fear of intimacy won over their need for love. It has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry you went through that. Must have been very confusing.
Same. But he's coming back around and I do not know how to navigate it.
Vey helpful video. Thank you!
My DA never initiate texting
It has always been me
But when I do he seems very happy. So I kept doing it
Is he stringing me along?
Will it get better?
Am I wasting my time?
Any advice?
you never know. i had a da ex. she likes independence. i gave her lots of freedom as i trusted her being a secure. like you, its always me sending good morning etc. if i dont send anything, she wouldnt send me anything. that got me thinking if i did something wrong even though im a secure. we could go on dates and enjoy ourselves. but when it came to something serious, the depth of the conversation was very shallow.
When we had conflicts (voice isnt raised/no shouting etc), i tried to reason why but she just shut down by saying lets not talk about this; avoiding to solve the problem. So they dont share what they think or feel. Its not easy to guess what they are thinking. I dont think a healthy relationship should be like this. it takes a toll on the partner. its like walking on egg shells with what i should say fearing it might trigger her unknowingly.
Don't put yourself into similar situation if you can.
@@usersss100 thank you ☺️
Yes I know I should get over him. But it’s hard. The max I have gone NC was three weeks! ☹️Then I start missing him 😔