I have to say that as a partner of an alcoholic who is recovering you cannot expect him/her to "repay the debth" and make it up to you. It was your choice to support the alcoholic and put your effort and energy into him/her. Partners who stay in a relationship for that long do so also bc they get something out of it. Maybe she should find out what that was for herself and start her own recovery from co dependency instead of expecting the alcoholic to solve her problem for her. Chances are whe will leave her partner and find herself a new alcoholic to work on
Hey bro not sure if you know who slayer sober is? But he shouted you out in his latest video. Pretty cool I wouldn’t be here if not for him. Great vids
I discovered your channel 3 days ago following my 3rd and heaviest detox and DT episode. Most relatable channel I've found. My previous dilemma relatijg to the second question is 'why don't I like my partner now I'M sober?' (YOU look like I need another drink).
I have a suspicion that that is the more common dilemma. It's very, very difficult to navigate those feelings. I hope you're doing good today, and you're through the worst of it. Keep us posted.
Edelweiss, lmao. Hilarious pun. Non-alcoholic beer (at least in America) has some amount of alcohol in it, so you might be able to chalk up that slice of cultural insensitivity to the booze. It is really, really difficult for me to imagine going through the sobriety process with a partner. Rimma is right that the trust situation is in a dire condition, and a newly-sober drunk is not in a great position to do the hard and necessary work of trust-building; I was constantly emotionally raw, constantly tired, constantly at war within my own head. Not drinking is sometimes ALL you can do. It is impossible to know how long recovery is going to take, but you're probably not going to be sunshine and rainbows for the interim. There's a price in lows to be paid for all the highs of your drinking career. I would say that the title sentiment itself is not quite accurate in this context: your partner is not sober, they are sobering up. Sober people are great. Sobering up people are somethin else.
I'm almost a month sober, a few days off. And although I am taking medication (anti-craving, anti-depressant, and a sleep aid), I do notice that I'm not my old self, like my old sober self. I feel like I have less empathy and cannot tolerate people for very long... I was this way before and always have been since I was young, but I like to be alone... we are a product of our environment and if it's a crappy place (which this world is), then alot of people close up to the world. When I drank a few beers or a couple shots, I would be more chatty, and could tolerate people a little easier, but once the heavy drinking begins, like you mentioned, you just lock yourself in a room and do your own thing. Alcohol is self-destructive. Certain people can handle it and not have any issues, but many people use it as a coping mechanism, which I did. Self medicating seems like the right thing to do but it really isn't. I know it can take weeks or months to return to normal, but honestly, I'm not sure I will ever be the same again. Thanks for your videos about alcoholism. Many need to hear your message. Cheers, from Canada.
Thanks for this James, and congrats on getting out, and I hope it sticks. That concern you have, about whether you'll ever be the same again, that's a tough one. It took me over a year of sobriety of feeling bad about exactly that question before I realised that, no, my life was different now. Some days I still miss the old me, the pre-problematic drinking me, but that guy's long gone and trying to find him again is only going to lead to another relapse. For me, and maybe for you too, it's a better way to live if you accept the new-but-different you and find a way to make it work for you. Keep us posted.
@@_BatCountry I listened to a bunch of your videos yesterday whilst working. Good stuff! Love the storytelling vibe. Also, you’d mentioned that you’d like to know of some other You Tubers that were inspirational. I heard of your channel while watching a Slayer Sober video, he mentioned you. He’s great! Also, there’s another channel that directed me to his channel called Liver Disease. Another great channel!
My ex-girfriend would beg and plead for me to go over to her place and watch over her cold turkey withdrawals - she wouldn't go to the doctor and try an outpatient medicated detox, nor go into treatment. She would sober up and not want to have anything to do with me toward the end. I hated that show. I didn't like "Seinfeld" either. I just didn't identify with that upper-middle class Jewish New York lifestyle. I am not saying those shows were terrible. They just weren't my cup of tea. How about all these women that got the "Jennifer Aniston" haircut?
Bat, and I know you've probably heard this before, but I just wanted to say that you have a very impressive beard. I really wish I could grow one like that!
My partner and I quit heroin whenshewaspregnant, then she couldn't stand me after that, without the drug, everything about me irritated her, the breakup was hard for me, started drinking too much, now she has started drinking heavily and taking cocaine, I have gotten sober, totally for the past year and am working on giving up sugar, because that's an addiction that is ruining my health, in fact my liver still looks fatty because of it. I have taken full custody of my son and I want to get healthy, piling in the chocolate biscuits and fizzy drinks has to stop so my liver can heal from the alcohol and fructose I've been abusing it with. Be sad to give up the alcohol and get non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and cirrhosis anyway! I want to be a good example for my son and I want to have the energy to have fun with him and sugar is just as bad for the liver as alcohol!
spot on advice. externalising reasons for your drinking is one foot back on the booze.
It really is. Thanks for watching this video, it doesn't get much love these days!
I have to say that as a partner of an alcoholic who is recovering you cannot expect him/her to "repay the debth" and make it up to you. It was your choice to support the alcoholic and put your effort and energy into him/her. Partners who stay in a relationship for that long do so also bc they get something out of it. Maybe she should find out what that was for herself and start her own recovery from co dependency instead of expecting the alcoholic to solve her problem for her. Chances are whe will leave her partner and find herself a new alcoholic to work on
Interesting point
Hey bro not sure if you know who slayer sober is? But he shouted you out in his latest video. Pretty cool I wouldn’t be here if not for him. Great vids
Hey Jeff! Thanks for letting me know - yeah I know Slayer, I'm very flattered to get a shout out. Got a lot of respect for the guy.
@@_BatCountry this is so awesome!!
I watch both of you🙂✌️👍
@@ChristinaUniverse-lq1ex they are great
I discovered your channel 3 days ago following my 3rd and heaviest detox and DT episode. Most relatable channel I've found.
My previous dilemma relatijg to the second question is 'why don't I like my partner now I'M sober?' (YOU look like I need another drink).
I have a suspicion that that is the more common dilemma. It's very, very difficult to navigate those feelings.
I hope you're doing good today, and you're through the worst of it. Keep us posted.
Edelweiss, lmao. Hilarious pun. Non-alcoholic beer (at least in America) has some amount of alcohol in it, so you might be able to chalk up that slice of cultural insensitivity to the booze.
It is really, really difficult for me to imagine going through the sobriety process with a partner. Rimma is right that the trust situation is in a dire condition, and a newly-sober drunk is not in a great position to do the hard and necessary work of trust-building; I was constantly emotionally raw, constantly tired, constantly at war within my own head. Not drinking is sometimes ALL you can do.
It is impossible to know how long recovery is going to take, but you're probably not going to be sunshine and rainbows for the interim. There's a price in lows to be paid for all the highs of your drinking career.
I would say that the title sentiment itself is not quite accurate in this context: your partner is not sober, they are sobering up. Sober people are great. Sobering up people are somethin else.
I couldn't agree more with everything you said, this is a great comment!
I'm almost a month sober, a few days off.
And although I am taking medication (anti-craving, anti-depressant, and a sleep aid), I do notice that I'm not my old self, like my old sober self.
I feel like I have less empathy and cannot tolerate people for very long... I was this way before and always have been since I was young, but I like to be alone... we are a product of our environment and if it's a crappy place (which this world is), then alot of people close up to the world.
When I drank a few beers or a couple shots, I would be more chatty, and could tolerate people a little easier, but once the heavy drinking begins, like you mentioned, you just lock yourself in a room and do your own thing.
Alcohol is self-destructive. Certain people can handle it and not have any issues, but many people use it as a coping mechanism, which I did. Self medicating seems like the right thing to do but it really isn't.
I know it can take weeks or months to return to normal, but honestly, I'm not sure I will ever be the same again.
Thanks for your videos about alcoholism. Many need to hear your message.
Cheers, from Canada.
Thanks for this James, and congrats on getting out, and I hope it sticks.
That concern you have, about whether you'll ever be the same again, that's a tough one. It took me over a year of sobriety of feeling bad about exactly that question before I realised that, no, my life was different now.
Some days I still miss the old me, the pre-problematic drinking me, but that guy's long gone and trying to find him again is only going to lead to another relapse. For me, and maybe for you too, it's a better way to live if you accept the new-but-different you and find a way to make it work for you.
Keep us posted.
@@_BatCountry THanks BatCountry, I'll keep you posted for sure.
Quality content
Mate my heart goes out. I had to come off everything including the anti depressants to feel normal. And it was a long road. Best of luck.
@@BoOb-yd4dk Thanks friend!
Do you guys actually have an audio podcast? Can you share the name (and link?) in your video description here? 🙂👍🏽
I love seeing you two have so much fun together. It would come as no shock to me if you two are the main reason for each others sobriety
Great debut! Great synergy as well. New subscriber to the channel.
Thank you, and welcome!
@@_BatCountry I listened to a bunch of your videos yesterday whilst working. Good stuff! Love the storytelling vibe. Also, you’d mentioned that you’d like to know of some other You Tubers that were inspirational. I heard of your channel while watching a Slayer Sober video, he mentioned you. He’s great! Also, there’s another channel that directed me to his channel called Liver Disease. Another great channel!
My ex-girfriend would beg and plead for me to go over to her place and watch over her cold turkey withdrawals - she wouldn't go to the doctor and try an outpatient medicated detox, nor go into treatment. She would sober up and not want to have anything to do with me toward the end. I hated that show. I didn't like "Seinfeld" either. I just didn't identify with that upper-middle class Jewish New York lifestyle. I am not saying those shows were terrible. They just weren't my cup of tea. How about all these women that got the "Jennifer Aniston" haircut?
Yeah, there's only so much you can do for some people isn't there?
Excellent content, omg, loved it! Thanks!
Excellent as always 😉
Thank you Pete!
Bat, and I know you've probably heard this before, but I just wanted to say that you have a very impressive beard. I really wish I could grow one like that!
Hahahahha thank you! Yes I've heard it before, but I never get tired of hearing it.
I love dropping out the word "that" sometimes too. It's just not always necessary.
This happened to me with my wife.
My partner and I quit heroin whenshewaspregnant, then she couldn't stand me after that, without the drug, everything about me irritated her, the breakup was hard for me, started drinking too much, now she has started drinking heavily and taking cocaine, I have gotten sober, totally for the past year and am working on giving up sugar, because that's an addiction that is ruining my health, in fact my liver still looks fatty because of it. I have taken full custody of my son and I want to get healthy, piling in the chocolate biscuits and fizzy drinks has to stop so my liver can heal from the alcohol and fructose I've been abusing it with. Be sad to give up the alcohol and get non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and cirrhosis anyway! I want to be a good example for my son and I want to have the energy to have fun with him and sugar is just as bad for the liver as alcohol!
You're going to be a good dad
I hear you , sugar addiction is real, I can’t stop eating chocolate bars
Everytime you speak you suck in air which is an indication of drinking more you may not notice that but you are drinking