The wait is sexy | Yvonne Orji | TEDxWilmingtonSalon

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 16 мар 2017
  • “You cannot date until you get married.”
    Born to strict Nigerian parents, Yvonne determined to get married and intimate at 18.
    But her enthusiasm was diminished by her friends’ low expectations of sex.
    After getting “bamboozled by Jesus” in college, today Yvonne is a 33 year old virgin. Suddenly her parents want her to meet someone.
    Yvonne gives 5 suggestions for finding love - regardless of your beliefs, values and choices. Because when you find the right person, the wait is worth it.
    Yvonne Orji is a Nigerian-American actress, comedienne and writer who continues to display her versatility and passion with each project she takes on. On television, she stars in HBO’s new comedy series “Insecure”. The show follows the friendship of two modern-day black women and all of their uncomfortable experiences and racy tribulations. Orji stars as one of these women opposite Issa Rae, who is executive producing the show along with Prentice Penny and Melina Matsoukas. She is also currently developing a half-hour sitcom, based on her life entitled “First Gen”, that Oprah and David Oyelowo are executive producing. The show is a comedy about a Nigerian girl who trades medical school for a career in stand-up comedy and the adventures that ensue after her strict African mother discovers her plans.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 2,8 тыс.

  • @joyceadane9819
    @joyceadane9819 7 лет назад +7893

    "People who cant meet your standards feel the need to diminish them."

    • @jessicarene731
      @jessicarene731 7 лет назад +92

      Joyce Adane This is such a good point.

    • @artsyzar
      @artsyzar 7 лет назад +179

      True. Don't lower you or your standards for someone else's comforts

    • @crzune
      @crzune 6 лет назад +33

      What if you really have unrealistic standards ?

    • @Gapeaches77able
      @Gapeaches77able 5 лет назад +5

      Very good point!

    • @Mrs.T305
      @Mrs.T305 5 лет назад +48

      Wow, that's profound. So many persons I meet diminish my standards, leaving me thinking that I'm crazy or asking for too much. Now I'm seeing that they are the ones who feel as if they can't measure up. Thanks for this comment.

  • @alyv9864
    @alyv9864 7 лет назад +2892

    in a world that is obsessed with sex and makes people think they have to fit in, that was so refreshing

    • @vi4269
      @vi4269 5 лет назад +11

      Yes ikr

    • @spybubbble
      @spybubbble 2 года назад +5

      The world wouldn’t be so obsessed with it if religion hadn’t made it taboo in the first place.

    • @TA-ht4jo
      @TA-ht4jo 2 года назад

      So at 33, she hadn’t met a guy who was cool with that and willing to get in a relationship with her? Interesting.

  • @neensever
    @neensever 6 лет назад +3770

    "I don't need to beg anyone to like me, 'cause I like myself"
    Boom. Ladies and gents, Yvonne Orji has left the building.

    • @iamaksd
      @iamaksd 4 года назад +19

      Mic drops! LOLLLLL!

    • @truegrit9202
      @truegrit9202 Год назад

      Not with a husband.😂😂😂

  • @karana9201
    @karana9201 5 лет назад +2214

    When you're 18 and everyone around you is sleeping with each other, you start to lose faith but then you watch uplifting things like this and it just puts things into perspective. I feel a lot better after watching this

    • @bettynelly9452
      @bettynelly9452 4 года назад +16

      agreed!

    • @Blazedasonic
      @Blazedasonic 4 года назад +15

      Me too girl

    • @karana9201
      @karana9201 4 года назад +17

      @Dark Glow excuse me

    • @thegeorgianlady7476
      @thegeorgianlady7476 4 года назад +3

      Same💛

    • @raincloud3416
      @raincloud3416 4 года назад +4

      HIGH FIVE! I CAN RELATE!~ LMAO me n dis girl aint nothin different on this aspect and its important we value ourselves.

  • @Qalbofqalbs
    @Qalbofqalbs 7 лет назад +3513

    "I don't get mad if somebody doesn't like me for me, they are just not the one for me."
    This. Speaks. Volumes !!

  • @mikeyaharkel1537
    @mikeyaharkel1537 5 лет назад +2200

    “When people show you who they are, believe them”
    Yep.

  • @bttrfly_wngz09
    @bttrfly_wngz09 6 лет назад +2802

    “ Wait on purpose and not in fear.” 💛

  • @rsimmonswk
    @rsimmonswk 4 года назад +460

    I have been married 33 years and this is the BEST advice for singles. Do not lower your standards but continue to wait for your King or Queen 👑 to come. It is worth the wait!

    • @mafiaa520
      @mafiaa520 3 года назад +5

      Thank you so much for thisss!!!!!

    • @WakandaBabe
      @WakandaBabe 2 года назад +3

      That being said, while you are waiting, be prepared to perhaps never having your king or queen. I wish someone had prepared me for that.

    • @badunina
      @badunina 2 года назад +2

      @@WakandaBabe so true. This is a fact. Women need to understand that sometimes the King doesn’t come along- and that is ok.

  • @monzorella1
    @monzorella1 7 лет назад +2253

    I'm 30 and still a virgin and this is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact right time.

    • @MynameisAdji
      @MynameisAdji 7 лет назад +172

      monzorella1 as my sister said: better be single at 30 than divorced at 30. The right one will come around ;)

    • @40pianos
      @40pianos 7 лет назад +37

      It's exactly not what you needed to hear. A grown up woman of 30 should have had sex by now. How can you make informed, mature decisions with respect to who you have sex with and under what conditions if you don't have some experience? I'm not suggesting that you be promiscuous but the longer you wait the stranger, more uncomfortable and awkward it's going to be when you do. And I can tell you that there is no man in the world who is comfortable with the burden of being the first for a grown woman whose expectations around sex are not grown up and realistic. The longer you wait, the more baggage you bring to that first experience, the greater the chance it ends up producing an emotional crisis rather than the comfortable good time it actually should.

    • @monzorella1
      @monzorella1 7 лет назад +299

      Brent Pulford - good thing I'm I don't care about what you think. And I have plenty attention from men that know I'm a virgin. So take several seats.

    • @40pianos
      @40pianos 7 лет назад +19

      Perhaps you should give it some thought. That's how we grow our minds and broaden our perspectives. And attention isn't what I suggested you lacked. I said you lack a realistic impression of what you're holding out for. And you can't call me wrong on that because I've experienced it and you haven't. Thank you for making a seat available to me but it's not necessary as I won't be hanging around. Wishing you nothing but continued success and happiness.

    • @cariannette1
      @cariannette1 7 лет назад +87

      monzorella1 girl you not alone! im waiting too! and proud to be!

  • @AngelPuffCait
    @AngelPuffCait 7 лет назад +910

    Wow. People today make it seem shameful to be a virgin, but she is POWERFUL! What a great role model. Don't lower your standards. In the end, the long-term relationship is worth so much more than the early sex.

  • @arielchecketts3129
    @arielchecketts3129 6 лет назад +3299

    Waiting is hard, but so worth it! My first time was with my husband on our wedding day. I was 30 and he was 31 and we were both virgins. The first time was incredible....the physical and emotional connection was unreal and it's been fantastic every time since. I'm so glad I stuck to my guns and never succumbed to peer pressured.

  • @fauzia7262
    @fauzia7262 4 года назад +713

    Five things by Yvonne's TEDtalk :
    1. The person who sees you for you.. and loves you regardless.
    2. The one who sees value in what you value.
    3. Wait on purpose, not in fear.
    4. Wait on the one who makes you a priority.
    5. Wait in the one who meets your standards.

    • @lilmommy31583
      @lilmommy31583 4 года назад +2

      thanks

    • @fauzia7262
      @fauzia7262 4 года назад +1

      @@lilmommy31583 my pleasure

    • @Rose-gy1cc
      @Rose-gy1cc 3 года назад +1

      🙏🏽

    • @theboss4169
      @theboss4169 3 года назад +2

      You missed:
      * 6. 40 and never married

    • @candacewalker5008
      @candacewalker5008 3 года назад +3

      Is that bad? She wants a quality relationship with a quality partner - why is a bad relationship better than being single at 40?
      As she says: “4: Wait in purpose, not in fear”.

  • @rheyanabranch
    @rheyanabranch 7 лет назад +1908

    I'm 23 and waiting with you girl. God's timing is perfect!!

  • @MyBreakingViews_
    @MyBreakingViews_ 7 лет назад +2146

    For women going through this right now this was extremely powerful to listen to. The wait is sexy and I can totally agree that it does remove the raff because they don't want to wait. Thank you for sharing this Yvonne xxx

    • @tablaturebutler2823
      @tablaturebutler2823 7 лет назад +9

      As a young man I acquiesced to the idea that I needed to be what a woman wanted me to be to have a successful relationship, that servicing her emotional needs was my duty, and to prioritize my own needs was shallow and selfish. Big mistake - but then, I made a lot of critical mistakes as a young man. One mistake was thinking that I was grown up in my early twenties and knew who I was, what I wanted, and that these things would remain constant. Are you kidding me? Only a child can think that way. These days my take would be if a woman wants me to invest in a committed relationship - a marriage even - without first determining that we are sexually compatible - she can wait. Without me. I have no problem with her choosing that course - but it's not gonna be my course. Best that we avoid the pitfalls of poor decision-making before they become traumatic. That's just me - but me is the one person I can't walk away from...

    • @angellyj.4786
      @angellyj.4786 7 лет назад +44

      @Tablature Butler You are surely entitled to your own opinion. Whether someone chooses to wait until marriage or just wait until some deeper point in their relationship I don't see how it would be a waste of time. Sexual compatibility, if there is such a thing, shouldn't be primary focus since so much time is spent outside of that space in a committed relationship. Everything has its place, but it just makes so much more sense to connect with a person's heart before connecting with their genitals #imho

    • @tablaturebutler2823
      @tablaturebutler2823 7 лет назад +9

      +Angelly - "Sexual compatibility - if there is such a thing" - yes, there is such a thing. On many different levels, starting with the very basics, like "sex is very important to me" vs "sex isn't that important to me" - there's a deep tragedy and ruined lives and families in just that simple equation. I was with a woman who used sex like doggie biscuits - if I did what she wanted me to - I got some. If not - she withheld. She didn't love sex - she loved control. "Sit up. Roll over. Stay." Took me a looooong time to figure out where she was coming from - but leaving her was one of the smartest moves I ever made, even though it cost me big time. I found a woman who loved sex down to her bones - the difference was night and day. She didn't want to be in control - she wanted to feel good, and making me feel good made her feel good - she wanted me to be all man, because it made her feel all woman - and she loved feeling all woman. Some like only vanilla sex - some like it a little wilder. Some get off when it feels dirty. Some want to be dominant - some want to be dominated. Some are willing (or hungry) to include others. Sex is a HUGE part of life and intimate relationships - if you find out too late that the one you are with isn't on the same page as you - the suffering and resentment and the feeling trapped will kill the love. Guaranteed. MUCH better to find out up front...

    • @angellyj.4786
      @angellyj.4786 7 лет назад +37

      Tablature Butler I recognize your perspective and I'm not seeking to invalidate it. I'm just saying is that primary? Like is that the first or main thing you seek to discover about a person? If you feel that's the only way a relationship can be successful, that is to say having the same sexual drive, maybe we just have a different idea of successful relationships. Which is obviously fine. I just believe the worth of a person in your life is how they feed your mind and spirit before they even have access to you on a more intimate level. You don't have to agree. Something about the opportunity to share my opinion is irresistible, so this is just my 5 cent.

    • @tablaturebutler2823
      @tablaturebutler2823 7 лет назад +5

      +Angelly - A person can be the best singer (or fastest runner, etc) in the world, but if other aspects of their life - like a strong work ethic, great mentoring/managing, and just plain good luck - don't line up to maximize their strengths, they will not be a star singer or athlete. Not gonna happen. Relationships are similar, in that you can like, admire, respect, and be attracted to another person - and still discover that the relationship is doomed because you are sexually incompatible. Lots of couples struggle through their years together because SOME of the boxes are checked - they're not completely miserable - and never know the true happiness and kind of deep satisfaction only the sexually attuned ever know. Not saying it's easy, not saying it's even as common as one would hope - but my take is that it's infinitely less likely to happen in a "waiting is sexy" scenario. That's more like crossing your fingers and hoping for the best because you heart is pure. Good luck wth that. Ultimately, this is the fruit of deep-seated societal sexual repression, Calvinistic guilt-and-suffering religion - and is partly responsible for so much unhappiness in the USA, which is truly and tragically pandemic. I wish you nothing but the best...

  • @bttrfly_wngz09
    @bttrfly_wngz09 6 лет назад +1003

    “Let’s not excuse inexcusable behavior.” 👏🏾😩

    • @EMPRESSALYXIS
      @EMPRESSALYXIS 4 года назад +3

      Fr👏👏👏👏

    • @mahoneyjack5074
      @mahoneyjack5074 3 года назад +6

      After AAAAA LOOTTTT of pressure, I still waited for my husband, and I DONT'T REGRET ONE SECOND OF IT!!

  • @Vera-dg3hf
    @Vera-dg3hf 4 года назад +313

    “Wait for the one who makes you a priority” got it!

  • @alaurenfuentes
    @alaurenfuentes 7 лет назад +1179

    I haven't always been abstinent but I took a year off from sex and dating last year and I found a new value in something I treated so casual. I've recently reconnected with God and decided to save myself until marriage or I suppose now it would be to remain abstinent until then and I've never felt such peace in my relationship with God. I've never found such a deep love and respect for myself. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and choices but in my personal experience hooking up with someone who would just later be out of my life has left me feeling empty and looking for the next to replace that affection. I found the affection I need within myself and my relationship with God.

    • @EpicFreeStuffs
      @EpicFreeStuffs 5 лет назад +5

      well thats unfortunate for the husband who has to wait more than other guys who you let into your pants so easily / soon

    • @1marifabi
      @1marifabi 5 лет назад +24

      its actually a good thing because when the time comes for they, the will indeed now that its the right moment and the right person, no need for regrets anymore!

    • @1marifabi
      @1marifabi 5 лет назад +48

      Its so amazing to hear this beacuse recently I've experience this myself and I can totally understand you. Right now my relationship with God and my inner peace are more important things in my life than pleasing some momentary desire, or even pleasing someone else. God's timing is perfect, keep doing your thing! wish u the best

    • @candice446
      @candice446 5 лет назад +15

      Same. I’m on the journey right now.

    • @hollandoates2573
      @hollandoates2573 5 лет назад +29

      Love this! God redeems all things and gives us peace when we follow Him. Thank you for sharing.

  • @GabbyTeAma
    @GabbyTeAma 7 лет назад +3141

    She's so pretty and funny. So much wisdom

    • @paulsambula4939
      @paulsambula4939 7 лет назад +20

      she is beautiful very lovely woman

    • @yudahel9821
      @yudahel9821 7 лет назад +3

      JayoJay
      what about Ghanaians

    • @angiexo4136
      @angiexo4136 7 лет назад +24

      nahh, don't start with that, all african's are beautiful

    • @Love25648
      @Love25648 7 лет назад +10

      Oh, sit down. Don't start what? I see other Africans calling themselves the most beautiful all the time, and no one says anything. Its always Nigerians that have to be inclusive, when its anything negative other Africans are the first to bash.

    • @Lindseylava
      @Lindseylava 7 лет назад +2

      JayoJay Ccccc

  • @tobaccoworm2511
    @tobaccoworm2511 5 лет назад +4845

    She makes virginity and believing in God look cool 😍

    • @niniwiens8587
      @niniwiens8587 5 лет назад +425

      that s because it is. God is the best thing that can happen to you. You only win.

    • @sparklybabe2033
      @sparklybabe2033 5 лет назад +83

      @@niniwiens8587 preach sister

    • @rachelblu2024
      @rachelblu2024 5 лет назад +112

      Well yeah Jesus is best thing that can ever happen to you❤️❤️

    • @markoldys
      @markoldys 5 лет назад +20

      well she doesn't, that's just her who is cool regardless of god

    • @ohbrother8530
      @ohbrother8530 5 лет назад +65

      @@markoldys
      That's your anti Christian secular humanistic bigotry talking but have a great day. Lol

  • @kendracasbolt5506
    @kendracasbolt5506 5 лет назад +587

    I'm a Christian and I was actually debating whether I was going to go through with abstinence
    But after this is I want to keep my virginity
    It's impowering and if it's for the Lord than I'm down for that
    He gave me life and joy so I can give him my promise
    Update 3 years later: I lost my v card but I believe in you guys😊

    • @meandmylife1076
      @meandmylife1076 4 года назад +25

      And I am convinced that this decision will bring lots of joy to you in the long run !

    • @Lala-ih1vr
      @Lala-ih1vr 4 года назад +8

      God bless!

    • @tyronesmith6921
      @tyronesmith6921 4 года назад +8

      Wow good for you! I'm a Christian myself! It's all in gods plan🙂🙏

    • @susankoech
      @susankoech 4 года назад +14

      How was it a debate? Like the Bible says no fornication, Right?

    • @shirleytatha8189
      @shirleytatha8189 4 года назад +13

      Christian here too... I always knew I want to wait, but now I'm not even sure I want to get married amd sometimes I'm like whoooa a life of celibacy dang 😂😂😂
      But you can never go wrong giving to God ☺️
      I wish you all the best 🤗

  • @Goddessglow888
    @Goddessglow888 7 лет назад +189

    BLESS THIS WOMAN FOR BREAKING THE STEREOTYPES AND VIRGINITY SHAMING
    thank you for speaking out the beautiful overlooked and unacknowledged truth

  • @stayhappy2609
    @stayhappy2609 7 лет назад +1604

    "You cannot date until you get married" I instantly shouted "She's Nigerian!!" 😂😂

    • @xmari3goldx
      @xmari3goldx 7 лет назад +13

      Stay Happy lol you know it!

    • @brexo9062
      @brexo9062 6 лет назад +4

      Stay Happy SAMEEEEE

    • @YoannaBozhidarova-Aldemir
      @YoannaBozhidarova-Aldemir 6 лет назад +13

      Stay Happy ahahha giirrl, my father told me that few years ago and we are bulgarians... 😂

    • @Love25648
      @Love25648 6 лет назад +3

      Same 😃😂😂✌

    • @nano3750
      @nano3750 6 лет назад +20

      Stay Happy that's every African parents sis.

  • @Zannlife
    @Zannlife 4 года назад +153

    I'm 27 and embarking on the journey of celibacy. This video is encouraging me to continue the good fight.

  • @pastelesdeyucca
    @pastelesdeyucca 6 лет назад +169

    i waited until I was 38 when I got married to an amazing God fearing man. I dont regret it.

    • @artsyhyd
      @artsyhyd 3 года назад +5

      pastelesdeyucca You give me hope 😇

  • @JanDragonn
    @JanDragonn 7 лет назад +958

    People make time for what is important to them. - so much truth.

  • @TinukeSeesTheWorld
    @TinukeSeesTheWorld 7 лет назад +1631

    Yvonne is a lovely and beautiful artist on screen and off. Thank goodness for actresses like her standing up and talking about values! #NigeriaStandUp

  • @erica6386
    @erica6386 5 лет назад +260

    I salute all you virgins 💕🙌🏾🙏🏾 I wish I would’ve waited but hey I got my beautiful child out of it but I will be waiting for my husband now ✨

  • @amandawise88
    @amandawise88 5 лет назад +245

    Ohhh the power of the tongue. Oh the power of positive thinking. Sis got her a God-fearing, intelligent, successful, supportive and fiiiiinnnneee man. Look at what happens when you are obedient! Go Yvonne!

  • @itoro22
    @itoro22 7 лет назад +560

    I'm 32 and still a virgin and happily waiting. This was so refreshing to watch. I needed to watch this. God bless you Yvonne 🙂
    By the way when she asked where are my Nigerians, I started cheering too. Love my people lol

    • @LuigiBaglio
      @LuigiBaglio 5 лет назад

      Nicole: Are you engaged in some religion?

    • @sherabite3503
      @sherabite3503 5 лет назад +1

      Hope you have found somebody. But out of curiosity, did you have an end date to waiting ?

    • @ohbrother8530
      @ohbrother8530 5 лет назад

      @@LuigiBaglio
      Are you engaged to irreligious secular humanistic religion ?

    • @darrylgarrison1069
      @darrylgarrison1069 4 года назад +1

      Awesome!! This is encouraging.

  • @littlebee4173
    @littlebee4173 6 лет назад +2867

    Who needs tinder when you have a candle lighting African mama 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @sharaviva
    @sharaviva Год назад +3

    This lady is high value & God will bless her on the level of her integrity. When you honor God He will honor you...guaranteed.

  • @brittanyroesch4185
    @brittanyroesch4185 4 года назад +163

    “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen”

  • @zmantau
    @zmantau 7 лет назад +1456

    One of the best TED talks i have seen. Relatable and captivating from the start to finish

    • @chealester9958
      @chealester9958 7 лет назад +31

      Zay ed!! agreed!!! this one and "the person you really need to marry" are my top 2 from ted talk...both are full of wisdom and delivered well!

  • @bddarrington538
    @bddarrington538 7 лет назад +332

    Crazy how well she plays her role on "Insecure" and she's virgin. Gotta' respect her talent and humor!

    • @oreoHK
      @oreoHK 6 лет назад +7

      I was thinking the exact same thing.

    • @EpicFreeStuffs
      @EpicFreeStuffs 5 лет назад +2

      confidence has nothing to do with it though

    • @sdarling6518
      @sdarling6518 5 лет назад +6

      She’s an actress. Do you really think a professional actress or actor has to have the lived experiences of every character they play? Come on.

  • @kait3581
    @kait3581 5 лет назад +130

    "I don't have to beg anyone to like me because I like me" YEAH GIRL YOU GET IT

  • @caro.bycarolina
    @caro.bycarolina 6 лет назад +353

    i love this woman!!! im breaking up with my guy right now! thank youuu! i needed to get rid of him...cause he never values me and he has been agressive

    • @pineapplefeathers
      @pineapplefeathers 4 года назад +10

      How did it go?

    • @tabithamakumi953
      @tabithamakumi953 4 года назад +15

      Actually saw this 2 years after you posted this...I feel like I should do it too😇...Some advice please how did it go...

    • @ReadyorNot811
      @ReadyorNot811 4 года назад +10

      Girl we need an update!

    • @beautifullykayla
      @beautifullykayla 3 года назад +7

      Girl come back and tell us how it went

    • @freyuh2477
      @freyuh2477 3 года назад +3

      Im here for the update

  • @l.christinejones8164
    @l.christinejones8164 7 лет назад +300

    the wait is sexy, yes.. waiting is Spiritual, self discovery, personal evolution, sensuality, honor, abundant self love, and empowering obedience to God and your own self worth ❤

  • @imanangue6867
    @imanangue6867 7 лет назад +126

    The only phrase I remember is "Sometimes people who can meet your standards feel they need to diminish them" THAT'S RIGHT YVONE ! I'm so glad that somebody like her finally say it. She is brillant. 👏👏

  • @Melissa2087
    @Melissa2087 5 лет назад +833

    I'm 31, my fiancé is 40... waiting until marriage!!! Getting married November 2019

    • @stevenrussi5595
      @stevenrussi5595 4 года назад +9

      Congrats!

    • @camivelyn
      @camivelyn 4 года назад +8

      Just married 👏🏻

    • @brittanynicole4370
      @brittanynicole4370 4 года назад +7

      How were the nuptials???! Congratulations!!

    • @Wabanhur
      @Wabanhur 4 года назад +8

      How was the wedding?

    • @susankoech
      @susankoech 4 года назад +37

      Good thing y'all didnt wait until 2020.

  • @norapeace6526
    @norapeace6526 6 лет назад +381

    I feel like she definitely gave me words of encouragement. God wanted me to hear this. Nothing he does is by mistake.

    • @J_ik
      @J_ik 3 года назад +3

      Amen.🙏🏽✨

  • @RasheeraDopson
    @RasheeraDopson 7 лет назад +256

    I really enjoyed watching this !!! I'm 25 and a virgin I'm waiting too

  • @DeborahM116
    @DeborahM116 7 лет назад +246

    YVONNE OUT HERE GIVING ME LIFEEEEEE! YES. Thank you for speaking truth boldly and with class. You are a voice to a generation.

  • @janettedesilier1018
    @janettedesilier1018 4 года назад +515

    Saving this to show my daughter. She ain’t even born yet lol

    • @careasl
      @careasl 3 года назад +7

      😆

    • @janettedesilier1018
      @janettedesilier1018 3 года назад +56

      Carla Williams update: my daughter is here! She’s two weeks old and her training starts NOW! ☺️

    • @careasl
      @careasl 3 года назад +5

      Janette Desilier That’s awesome! Congratulations.

    • @judyhops3242
      @judyhops3242 3 года назад +3

      love your idea... will be waiting for her views on that.. m 24 now..lets see

    • @laneym5893
      @laneym5893 3 года назад +2

      That’s right girl

  • @l.shantell3267
    @l.shantell3267 5 лет назад +122

    "Why ACCEPT, UNacceptable behavior?" Good question!

  • @colorfulcodes
    @colorfulcodes 6 лет назад +210

    Amazing speaker. Even if you don't agree with HER values doesn't mean you can't appreciate her talk. She touched on things everyone can agree with.

    • @daniellamoreno3616
      @daniellamoreno3616 4 года назад +7

      She would be a spokeswoman for waiting for marriage.

  • @chickabiddy3489
    @chickabiddy3489 6 лет назад +330

    After AAAAA LOOTTTT of pressure, I still waited for my husband, and I DONT'T REGRET ONE SECOND OF IT!!

    • @wshelby83
      @wshelby83 5 лет назад +6

      That's amazing!! You're truly blessed

    • @Babes600
      @Babes600 4 года назад +3

      Did he wait for you?

  • @libbyacar7609
    @libbyacar7609 Год назад +33

    People did not laugh enough here. She is funny, intelligent and need I say stunning?!! 👌

    • @taylor5973
      @taylor5973 10 месяцев назад

      The Nigerian jokes are tired

  • @semmi98
    @semmi98 6 лет назад +566

    And she just posted a pic on insta with her men yall. The wait was worth it, prase Him.

  • @sanjaw9170
    @sanjaw9170 7 лет назад +549

    She's awesome! A really powerful Ted talk, brought with humor

  • @Themichpardo
    @Themichpardo 7 лет назад +337

    I can't wait to see her in a couple of years, with the men of her dreams and her beautiful family

    • @MariaGuzman-sw4hs
      @MariaGuzman-sw4hs 4 года назад +16

      I thought the same, but i looked her up at shes 36 and not married yet, not that is a bad thing but makes me wonder and question many things

    • @heyyou3609
      @heyyou3609 4 года назад +8

      @@MariaGuzman-sw4hs A lot of people are emotinally drained and scarred for life because of past relationships because they settled for less than what they deserved. If she still hasn't met the person for her who's going to recipocate her energy and feelings, why should she settle for less?

    • @MariaGuzman-sw4hs
      @MariaGuzman-sw4hs 4 года назад +2

      @@heyyou3609 in my opinion she shouldn't settle for less. Or anyone lol . idk I was just thoughtful I'm still in my own journey and life path and dont have the truth about anything.. evolving perception everyday. But thank you for your input its refreshing

    • @heyyou3609
      @heyyou3609 4 года назад +5

      Maria Guzman and thank you for a nice response (usually people get defensive when you give another point of vue). Anyways good luck with your journey 💛

    • @MariaGuzman-sw4hs
      @MariaGuzman-sw4hs 4 года назад +4

      @@heyyou3609 Yeah I believe that as humans we should listen not just respond defensively and thank you, you as well 🌼💗

  • @jazzybash1
    @jazzybash1 3 года назад +25

    Yes, my parents aren’t from Nigeria but, same sentiment. I was raised in a Christian household. I’m a PK and it was instilled in me to wait. But then my mom, my senior year of college was like “I can’t wait to have grandkids. I want to be a grandma soon.” And I’m like “Mom, I’m almost finished with undergrad and about to go to grad school ...” and she was like “Okay then by 24, you should be finished so, I want grandkids by then. It’s on my bucket list” I was so shocked like you’re putting a time clock on my womb and I’m trying to sort out the next phase of my life. Safe to say I’ll be 30 in a few months, still waiting and no children. I also told her (being petty) if you ask me again, I’ll add 5 more years.

  • @leahtrim4595
    @leahtrim4595 5 лет назад +135

    Well said. I hope she gets her rose petals and candles

    • @carmensavu5122
      @carmensavu5122 4 года назад +17

      What is it with everyone wanting lit candles around them? Those things are a fire hazard.

    • @jaycee7015
      @jaycee7015 4 года назад +5

      @@carmensavu5122 🤣😂

    • @artsyhyd
      @artsyhyd 3 года назад +4

      And water bed 😄

  • @misidee
    @misidee 7 лет назад +309

    She might as well be me! I got me a twin on TedTalk
    Loves Jesus ✅
    Nigerian heritage ✅
    33 and waiting ✅
    Agree with everything she said except I'm not so bold to talk about it like this 🙈

  • @emjayye
    @emjayye 7 лет назад +367

    This was fantastic!!! Yvonne Orji, you are GREAT!

  • @AnnieBuiVlog
    @AnnieBuiVlog 3 года назад +27

    I’m 31, Asian in Amercian. Same perspective. Never regret to wait for the RIGHT man, and still waiting. Such a great speech with good sense of humors ❤️

  • @rachelowhonda2913
    @rachelowhonda2913 4 года назад +50

    Wow😘😘 thank you
    I'm still waiting I'm 25. I'm proud of my decision, I love God more than my emotions🙌🙌.

  • @lovely-rl7lv
    @lovely-rl7lv 6 лет назад +198

    16 and still going to wait I know it's nothing compared to 33 but there is not alot of girls in this society that is willing to wait.
    Update:I'm 19 now and still waiting by the grace of God. Thanks for the kind words everyone I wrote this 2 years ago and I've grown so much. Looking back at this is truly inspiring.

    • @hollandoates2573
      @hollandoates2573 5 лет назад +14

      Mikaelia Cornwall congrats, sweetheart. I hope you make it. I'm rooting for you!

    • @phoenixblitz24
      @phoenixblitz24 4 года назад +5

      Mikaelia Cornwall YOU 👏🏼 CAN 👏🏼 DO 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼💞

    • @erinbathie-moore8478
      @erinbathie-moore8478 4 года назад +3

      As a 16 yr old who didn’t wait, I support you and your decision! Make sure you build a strong trustful and loving relationship first, because physical intimacy changes things

    • @lovely-rl7lv
      @lovely-rl7lv 4 года назад +1

      @@erinbathie-moore8478 thank you. Trying to build that love with God first 🙏.I really appreciate the kind words.

    • @natarapssweetheart
      @natarapssweetheart 4 года назад +2

      Mikaelia Cornwall you’re amazing for having that conscious to wait. I regretted not doing that at your age, the road will be challenging but you got this! Praying for you!

  • @vivienly5722
    @vivienly5722 7 лет назад +85

    YESSSS!!! PREACH IT! I'm 16 turning 17 this summer, and I'm a virgin waiting for someone special. Since my mom advised me to not wait until Im married because it's an outdated way of thinking. But this video is so educational and Yvonne is so right! She's inspriring me to wait to until I'm married, thank you so much!!!

    • @shinept9896
      @shinept9896 5 лет назад +5

      Fight the good fight
      Keep up the faith
      God bless u ❤

    • @hollandoates2573
      @hollandoates2573 5 лет назад +1

      Stay strong, pretty girl.

  • @leinanp7084
    @leinanp7084 Год назад +9

    six years later and this is still a gem! thank you Yvonne

  • @Seraphim7
    @Seraphim7 5 лет назад +76

    "7.5 Billion people, 1 has to have my name on it..." LOL Thanks for the perspective, God Bless you! :)
    "Wait on the One who meets your standards."

  • @chiomalydia4878
    @chiomalydia4878 7 лет назад +98

    The WAIT doesn't disappoint... #Powerful

  • @tamaratarere
    @tamaratarere 7 лет назад +199

    I Love her and the message, though with so much weight, was delivered so humorously 💖

  • @dhs3597
    @dhs3597 3 года назад +84

    "It's never too late nor too early, God's time is the perfect time."

    • @ninamakharadze3579
      @ninamakharadze3579 3 года назад +3

      “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”

    • @ninamakharadze3579
      @ninamakharadze3579 3 года назад +2

      Not sure if anyone needed to hear this, but I hope it will make at least a slight difference.

  • @sbahlepops5619
    @sbahlepops5619 5 лет назад +78

    I’m rooting for her cause wow we need to see women like her win.

  • @s.v.6516
    @s.v.6516 7 лет назад +1555

    Did ANYONE notice the man's face at 9:26?! Lol, he big mad or little mad?! lol.

    • @BlaqueRose23
      @BlaqueRose23 7 лет назад +161

      Sparks Fly Ikr?! Lol. His girl probably made him come to this seminar.

    • @LetstalkwithEvi
      @LetstalkwithEvi 7 лет назад +85

      Sparks Fly he was like that is not my cup of tea lol

    • @BriaBarrows
      @BriaBarrows 7 лет назад +104

      he wasn't having it lol

    • @HeleseTALKS
      @HeleseTALKS 7 лет назад +31

      I have died!

    • @towhatdegree
      @towhatdegree 7 лет назад +105

      I'm cryin he was so salty.

  • @thomasdr08
    @thomasdr08 7 лет назад +262

    Yo, is this where Kevin Hart gets his mannerisms from??? Lol

  • @daverandle3575
    @daverandle3575 6 лет назад +148

    It's crazy when something that should be normal becomes a stand courage.

  • @AnnieWalters24
    @AnnieWalters24 6 лет назад +92

    i'm 27 and waiting too girl !! we shall find the one that is worth the wait

  • @gs2782
    @gs2782 7 лет назад +2120

    The religious female version of Kevin Hart right there hahaha

    • @MegaCadette55
      @MegaCadette55 7 лет назад +88

      Esther JE except that she is funnier

    • @anniebello2273
      @anniebello2273 7 лет назад +20

      Esther JE so I'm not the only one who saw it!! She really is, I love it! Lol

    • @tabokamoalosi1494
      @tabokamoalosi1494 7 лет назад +52

      I noticed the Kevin Hart vibes too.

    • @yasschick7937
      @yasschick7937 7 лет назад +5

      Esther JE yass

    • @Felicia-cw3cs
      @Felicia-cw3cs 7 лет назад +16

      i was just saying she needs to do comedy lol

  • @karenc6501
    @karenc6501 7 лет назад +376

    I was told no boyfriends untill I get my education by my dad....My mom said no dating till I was 16. Most of my relationships were abusive and I didn't realize it till later. Parents need to teach children about unhealthy relationships relationships.

    • @tosinojo7310
      @tosinojo7310 5 лет назад +4

      should have listened to your parents

    • @Bodangers
      @Bodangers 5 лет назад +27

      @@tosinojo7310 the parents should have taught her clearly why No.

    • @ngreat4390
      @ngreat4390 5 лет назад +1

      Karen C they did. They told you to wait

    • @ocinidolegna
      @ocinidolegna 5 лет назад +26

      Helen Enang that's not teaching her about unhealthy relationships.

    • @ngreat4390
      @ngreat4390 5 лет назад +8

      If parents need to teach children about any relationship they need to model it and teach them about healthy relationships

  • @Shalaalaa
    @Shalaalaa Год назад +3

    The fact that you did not settle for less is very inspiring. And I just came for the laughs, leaving with lessons. Grateful.

  • @hannahjoycheng
    @hannahjoycheng 6 лет назад +187

    She's so funny I LOVE IT and am so glad to find a woman I can relate to

  • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
    @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 лет назад +527

    Yesss, she's my soulmate in values and faith. And my Polish Catholic parents approve. :D

    • @jaynu5969
      @jaynu5969 7 лет назад +7

      ZosiaSamosiaOo lol, exactly Amen!

    • @dreamHIGH94
      @dreamHIGH94 7 лет назад +3

      ZosiaSamosiaOo i just saw u on the skin deep video lol!

    • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
      @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 лет назад +2

      Ha, I'm everywhere on these relationship subjects -- gotta finally move on to the real life lol!! ;)

    • @loopiiify
      @loopiiify 7 лет назад +1

      In a previous video you commented "soulmates don't exist" hah

    • @maccheese942
      @maccheese942 6 лет назад +3

      my Indonesian Catholic parents approve too 😇😇😇😇😇

  • @KylaAquinoIrving
    @KylaAquinoIrving 7 лет назад +488

    Check the dude at 9:27. He's chewing gum and looking at his date all upset, as if to say, "So does this mean I'm not getting any tonight?"

    • @mperez1751
      @mperez1751 6 лет назад +15

      Kyla Aquino Irving 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭

    • @marianmoore-jules8286
      @marianmoore-jules8286 6 лет назад +11

      I saw that too!! Lol!

    • @babzyno5864
      @babzyno5864 5 лет назад +23

      Marian Moore i saw that too. Looked like he was being offended!

    • @ItsLadiieJ
      @ItsLadiieJ 5 лет назад +3

      I saw that too lmaooo

    • @tirahchanel2935
      @tirahchanel2935 5 лет назад +1

      Kyla Aquino Irving insaw that😂😂😂

  • @KirstenLauryn
    @KirstenLauryn 4 года назад +63

    I want to be friends with her, she seems like a good influence

  • @itsstar4171
    @itsstar4171 5 лет назад +70

    Wow! I loved this, it was well needed.
    Edit: After reading the comments I just wanted to add this: my godmom had been waiting a longggg time to get married because she wanted to get married to the right person. She got married earlier this year at the age of 46 and she is completely happy and satisfied with her life and my new goddad. Don't listen to anyone in these comments who say that you will miss out if you wait like her- IT'S NOT TRUE! Wait for the right one to come along, keep your standards, and know that there are ladies out here actually waiting with you, too!

    • @varvarajoseph4706
      @varvarajoseph4706 5 лет назад +2

      Thanks for sharing. I’m 40 and still waiting for the right one with whom to share my precious gift. I have no regrets, specially when I see how women who let go of their virginity so easily wish they could go back

  • @CROWNEDGOLDENBEAUTY
    @CROWNEDGOLDENBEAUTY 7 лет назад +215

    I love this so much. I'm so glad she speaks so boldly about core values in a society that doesn't edify that. Im a proud 27 year old virgin waiting for marriage.i just love love love this Ted talk! 🙌🙌🙌💪💪💪💥💥💥💥

  • @MochaxMatcha
    @MochaxMatcha 7 лет назад +261

    the guy at 9:24 is not picking up ANYTHING she is throwing down 😂 sitting there all stale face like 😒 while all the ladies in the house are clapping

    • @MervouiiLLe
      @MervouiiLLe 7 лет назад +9

      HAHAHA i'm not the only one that noticed!

    • @acestarone
      @acestarone 7 лет назад +13

      littlemonkey246able lol his face was so sour. "I won't be mad if you don't love me for me". Lol who dragged him there

    • @mygmailpersonalchoices2827
      @mygmailpersonalchoices2827 7 лет назад +33

      Bet he's mad every lie he's told his girl to get her Virginity is being exposed!😂

    • @queenofkings2087
      @queenofkings2087 6 лет назад +2

      and he was KILLING that gum!

  • @joyfuljoy4568
    @joyfuljoy4568 3 года назад +17

    She's so right. I had to travel all the way from Nigeria to Malaysia to find my boo. The funny part of the story was I wasn't even looking.
    God really bamboozled me right there with the perfect man for me. 14 years and 2 kids later and I just laugh and say, thank You Jesus. So she is absolutely right. Her boo might not be in the same location as her.

  • @moshe2495
    @moshe2495 7 месяцев назад +1

    "Let's not excuse inexcusable behavior." Well said.

  • @noniotalexas8384
    @noniotalexas8384 7 лет назад +98

    she is so funny😂😂😂..so true. Once you know your worth, you don't need to settle for someone who doesn't treat you well!

  • @DAdeuceeight
    @DAdeuceeight 7 лет назад +539

    Yvonne-There may be 7.5 billion people in the world. There may be 18 days that pass between texts. There may even be 8 years between us, but if your travels ever come through Northeast Ohio (no disrespect to Wichita), I would love to take you out to dinner. Let me knowwwwww #TheWaitIsSexy
    Also, I want to give a major shout out to you, your parents, and that brilliant med student. There are not many ladies today who hold these values, so it is really inspiring to see you live your life the way you do. Much love and thanks again.
    Keep being picky,
    Donnie A.
    P.S. You = still a spring chicken

    • @DAdeuceeight
      @DAdeuceeight 6 лет назад +69

      She's a beautiful woman inside and out. Why wouldn't I want to date her?

    • @cartergirl3of3
      @cartergirl3of3 5 лет назад +112

      Donnie A, I want to give a major shout out to YOU,sir. There are not many men out there today who APPRECIATE a woman with values. Wish there were more of you. Thanks.

    • @AbbyliciouzChannel
      @AbbyliciouzChannel 5 лет назад +23

      Ayyyyyyy

    • @ChellyTheGreat
      @ChellyTheGreat 5 лет назад +18

      DAdeuceeight aweeeee

    • @orverjhp
      @orverjhp 5 лет назад +16

      @@cartergirl3of3 there'are many men who appreciate them believe me

  • @DavidKSM
    @DavidKSM 4 года назад +39

    "Don't judge someone else's process because you're in a process as well."
    ........ wow.

  • @amandasmith3504
    @amandasmith3504 5 лет назад +65

    "YVONNE! I go to church today, I light FIVE candles for you. Maybe God see ONE of them!" 😂

  • @nasonyarowell2277
    @nasonyarowell2277 6 лет назад +153

    I needed to hear this right. I have high standards, which include being a priority not an option. I want to be respected and loved. I don't want to settle for someone who treats me with indifference. I've saved my body for many years. Things wouldn't be better if I gave my body to these men. Sometimes I feel like i'll never meet someone that's not playing games, but usually I feel very hopeful. Simply, put. I needed this today💝

  • @AfroMillennialMomma
    @AfroMillennialMomma 7 лет назад +137

    awesome testimony ms. orji, I was a virgin until I married at 28, met my husband when I went to Africa for the first time. Been married 7 years and have a lovely 1 yr old daughter. The wait is sexy!

  • @HopePetunias
    @HopePetunias 7 лет назад +442

    It's amazing how all the people who waited for the very best got exactly that, and their marriages are such high quality and their children are so beautiful and healthy. Even more so than those who settled earlier. It's almost like God overcompensates for those who trust Him

    • @londonlucille9868
      @londonlucille9868 7 лет назад +68

      What about all the people who didn't wait and have high quality marriages and beautiful children or all the people who did wait who have low quality marriages? We aren't going to talk about them?

    • @HopePetunias
      @HopePetunias 7 лет назад +53

      London McElvaine You can talk about them if you want, but this video is about waiting. At the end of the day the quality of a marriage is the sum of each person's willingness to make it work, whether they waited or not. But I'm specifically talking about those who wait on God.

    • @Llenahsiful
      @Llenahsiful 7 лет назад +13

      I couldn't figure out if this is sarcasm or not....

    • @frank2bad
      @frank2bad 7 лет назад +30

      Violet&Red can you provide proof on your claim? people that waited for whatever reason got the best life ever? Because stats says over 50% of marriages fail, and over 70% is actually filed by women. I would like to see your source of factual data for this.

    • @Miranda9Bella
      @Miranda9Bella 7 лет назад +15

      Violet&Red Yessss sis! Its because faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen..its the double portion anointing for standing in faith.

  • @theblackestbeauty
    @theblackestbeauty 7 лет назад +297

    I wish I had waited until marriage. My husband truly deserved to be the one.

    • @meenajones202
      @meenajones202 5 лет назад +55

      He is the "one" hence the reason why you married him.

    • @Andante75
      @Andante75 5 лет назад +20

      meena jones she means the one to take her virginity

    • @kasandrapeterson4673
      @kasandrapeterson4673 4 года назад

      It's not too late! You can still keep as much as you can for your husband!

    • @begoherrero6894
      @begoherrero6894 4 года назад

      I feel like this comment is more what I needed to hear than even the video itself

  • @addiemeier5168
    @addiemeier5168 3 года назад +10

    I'm 23 and waiting and excited for how God will work it out. I tell guys that I won't sleep with them till I have paperwork and jewelry (married) and it weeds out the loosers faster than anything else.

  • @Millie_the_Mermaid
    @Millie_the_Mermaid 3 года назад +22

    "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou 🖤

  • @ArsIsFun
    @ArsIsFun 7 лет назад +127

    Wooow awesome thank you Yvonne Orji thank you for being strong and inspiring me to be strong, you will get the best husband yourself

  • @MorenitaBonita19
    @MorenitaBonita19 7 лет назад +169

    "look Jesus, he coming through!" 😂😂

  • @seyiolufemi5731
    @seyiolufemi5731 5 лет назад +33

    I love this lady. Spicy, truthful, focused and she loves Jesus

  • @sangeetamardur9626
    @sangeetamardur9626 4 года назад +9

    I'm 16 and I literally have no idea what is marriage but I will wait until I find the right person to make love.... she's really an inspiration in my journey.

  • @reginerahim9141
    @reginerahim9141 7 лет назад +215

    I love her... I lost mine at 19 in college (I was rape) because my ex said he can't be a virgin smh I'm 26 now and I'm still waiting... blessings to u n ur family

    • @09meland
      @09meland 7 лет назад +73

      I'm sorry sis

    • @yudahel9821
      @yudahel9821 7 лет назад +3

      regine reme
      u not waiting

    • @sayoname
      @sayoname 6 лет назад +14

      But God is your strength Regine and your wait, by His grace will be worthwhile

    • @deepalin2481
      @deepalin2481 6 лет назад +9

      regine reme God bless u im Srry to hear that stay strong

    • @derrilldoyle5651
      @derrilldoyle5651 6 лет назад +13

      I don't think that counts. That's a trauma that happened to you. Not something you did.

  • @saraya3757
    @saraya3757 7 лет назад +182

    love yvonne! she has good energy

  • @juliepaska1223
    @juliepaska1223 4 года назад +57

    I would just like to say that she is literally so beautiful. She is STUNNING.

  • @patriciabeckman8573
    @patriciabeckman8573 5 лет назад +23

    Kudos! I was 30 and wished I'd waited for a sincere person.

  • @nafekeng
    @nafekeng 7 лет назад +98

    She is great example for young people.

  • @BmoreButtafly124
    @BmoreButtafly124 7 лет назад +20

    I love the way Yvonne uses humor to speak the truth. She's great at making people laugh but she also gives you "food for thought".