dealing with difficult people (my experience working in tech), learning to protect my inner peace

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  • Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
  • As I unpack and process some of the negative experiences from my time working in corporate (which led to my burnout), I realize that no matter where I go, what I do, there are always going to be difficult people who wants to start an argument with you, disagree with you, and shake your inner peace. In this video, I will talk about my experiences as a software engineer and some examples of encounters with difficult people, and what I've learned to better deal with difficult people so that I can continue to cultivate inner peace, on my journey/pursuit of simple living. I hope it can help someone out there to be one step closer to living a simple, peaceful and quiet life in this crazy and chaotic world.
    0:00 - intro
    1:42 - defining difficult people
    3:11 - difficult people encounters in tech as software engineer
    8:33 - realizations, learnings and how to deal with difficult people
    Be kind to yourself. ❤️
    1998
    #simpleliving #burnout #softwareengineer
    Follow me on Instagram: / ndruxu

Комментарии • 24

  • @friendsplain
    @friendsplain 5 дней назад +1

    Andrew this was a very insightful, coherent, and transparent recap of inevitable workplace issues. Thanks for sharing.

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  4 дня назад

      hey there! glad you found it helpful and thanks for watching!

  • @vovanminh999
    @vovanminh999 Месяц назад +1

    Difficult people for me is mean and rude attitude people. It's always good and relax to work with nice and patient people.

  • @brolistic87
    @brolistic87 24 дня назад +1

    Hello Andrew, thank you for this video. I've had this same exact experience in the government sector in DC. I realized that these "constructive debates" and useless meetings, were more about re-filling the demon's ego cups rather than truly fixing an existing problem. It drained my soul horribly and i am glad i left.
    Thank you for explaining this! Keep it up!

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  23 дня назад

      hey there, glad you found this video helpful! thanks for watching.

  • @ErikaJadeLives
    @ErikaJadeLives 2 месяца назад +5

    Love this Andrew! I think learning to walk away or mentally disengaging is a skill you must practice. The closer that difficult person is to you, the harder it is to exercise that muscle, but it's so worth it for your own sanity.

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад

      hey Erika! totally agree! It's one of those essential life skills that was not taught in school, but I wish it was though 😅. I hope you're doing well and enjoying everything Mexico has to offer! Take care ❤️

  • @DavidHaslam
    @DavidHaslam 2 месяца назад +2

    Stumbled across your channel at the right time! My career is heading to a path where I have to be the 'politician' as well and it can be so damn draining. Hearing your advice here on this topic was a nice one - thanks!

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад +2

      hey David, glad this video was helpful to you! Remember to be kind to yourself, take all the vacation/sick days, protect that inner peace. Life is short. Take care!

  • @chrischris9718
    @chrischris9718 2 месяца назад +3

    My way of coping is to disengage, there’s too much noise and crap outside, I will no longer get affected or break down from stress.

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад +1

      hey Chris, love that word: "disengage"! I'm going to add that to my vocabulary 🤓 Thanks! Hope you're doing well!

  • @ryanijyu533
    @ryanijyu533 2 месяца назад +2

    Really insightful.

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад

      hey Ryan, glad you found it helpful! Hope you're doing well, take care!

  • @gainswithkathy
    @gainswithkathy 2 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for sharing about protecting your inner peace. I can’t wait to be able to protect mine soon.😊

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад

      you got this Kathy!

  • @REVIEWSONTHERUN
    @REVIEWSONTHERUN 2 месяца назад +2

    Interesting talk. Maybe it’s time for you to do the podcast. Thanks for sharing it. ✌️

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад

      haha podcast eh, interesting idea. Thanks for watching!

  • @gainswithkathy
    @gainswithkathy 2 месяца назад +1

    I also wanted to move far away and the same idea but I also dislike bugs! That was my first thought lol bugs & rats.😅

  • @WonderfulToti
    @WonderfulToti 2 месяца назад +2

    Thanks for another awesome video!
    Do you have any tips of improvements for people who might be difficult to work with? I'm usually not the type to get involved in arguments... However sometimes I'm worried that my co-workers find me hard to deal with because I do insist on doing things certain ways.

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад +1

      Hey Drew, that's a great question! I think your level of self-awareness already speaks to your character 🙂. I haven't worked with you personally, but I think being honest, flexible and understanding goes a long way. Sometimes our "stubbornness" is from good intentions, of not wanting someone to make mistakes we've made in the past, etc. However, in those situations I'm starting to learn that, mistakes are actually a necessary way for people to learn and we should not rob them from it. Try to focus on the journey more than the outcome or results, because at the end of the day we'll all get there eventually, whatever the destination might be. Hope that helps! Oh and be kind to yourself, you seem like a great human being, so don't be so hard on yourself! Take care!

    • @vovanminh999
      @vovanminh999 Месяц назад

      beautiful respond Andrew. I like that.

  • @kitkatk5152
    @kitkatk5152 2 месяца назад +3

    I am leaving my dev job because of this, the devs are very difficult and almost always comment and disagree in my PRs, even if my solution is reasonable and works. There are many ways of doing things. I think that it´s an ego thing, many of them want to show off to show how good they are, to keep their jobs I guess. They are difficult and critical by default, it´s an aweful way to live. It's very political and I am disappointed, as this is my first dev job and I've been there over two years. I worry that the next one will be the same. I sure hope not. What do you do for money?

    • @andrewxu
      @andrewxu  2 месяца назад +2

      hey there, it's definitely an unpleasant work environment to be in, and doing everyday can suck the souls out of us. I've also noticed the ego thing too, and I thought a lot about that as well...and I think that might also come from some unresolved childhood trauma, perhaps they just want to be recognized, noticed, appreciated, admired, loved (in ways their parents were unable to give to them growing up). But you're right, it's a very awful and exhausting mindset/way to live. To answer your question, I'm still humbly living off my savings and investments, I actually made a video on it last week titled "FIRE" going through the basics of the idea, check it out if you're curious (I also have some more personal finance related videos planned for the future!). Sorry to hear about your situation though, I hope it improves for you in the future (new job or not), and focus on things you have control over, and protect your inner peace as much as you can. Take care! ❤️

  • @Lik3ToSing
    @Lik3ToSing Месяц назад +1

    Stress is number 1 making ppl die faster