I struggle so much with figuring out if I'm 4 or 9. I identify more with the 4 intensity of feeling but also very strongly with the 9 mediator traits. I don't withdraw internally or put on rose-colored glasses, I'm actually hyper-aware of my feelings and okay exploring really dark and hard things. But I also definitely tend to merge with others and I don't always feel bad about assimilating or not being unique.
I personally am convinced there are a lot of 4s & 6s out there who are mistyped as 9s. Speaking from my own experience here - I was told by many people online that I was a 9w1, but after doing some more digging into the core motivations of each type, I knew I was definitely a 4w5.
I think the key of what you said is people shouldn’t type other people. We truly do not know the actual motivations of other people. Good job doing the work and digging in.
I actually had the reverse experience. I thought I was a 4w5, but with the help of someone online I realized I was a 9w1. I still confirmed for myself, I didn't want a random stranger online to type me ofc 😂 I was just really having a hard time with my ennea, so I had to look for help somewhere else. (I do have a 4 in my Tritype and it's really strong too and it really influences me a lot, but when it boils down to the motivations, I'm a 9.) But I do agree with you and with Hillary, we should type ourselves. Maybe ask for the help of someone close and, last resort, a professional, if it's possible to afford.
Nine, here, thinking about venting... That act is a big energy waster. When others vent to me, I just want to shrink away from their words and frustration.
I took the test and was confused by my nine answer so i read in detail abt every type and related deeply to each of them.. this makes so much senss my mind feels so clear now
TRUTH!! I am a nine with also a high pull to the 4, but I agree with the withdrawal process. I look very much like counter-type 4 but in the heart, I am a nine. I don't like to feel any stress or conflict. I will however find myself taking on the problems and pain or "Long suffering" tenacity of the counter-type four. Interesting video, thanks for all you do.
I have been wondering if I am a type 4 instead of a type 9 lately and this video helped me. I’m a very artistic person who loves beautiful things and deep connections with humans, which are stereotypical 4 things and that is the biggest thing that caused me to question my type, but deep down I know I’m just an artistic a 9. Art actually helps me to zone out more than connect with my emotions, which is more of a 9 thing
I mistyped for years. This channel has really helped affirm the 9w8 typing. Everything about the energy in your videos is relatable. Not expending energy to just vent is 100% a way to keep my inner peace. The Complaint Free World Challenge taught me how not to complain about things unless I’m talking to someone who has the power to fix it. It was a game changer because it trained me to stay in healthy 9 or move to 3 if a situation really needs attention.
I saw a video that talked about how often 5s mistype as 9s, so I came across this video and this clears up a lot for me. I think the biggest thing is that I seek out things that could potentially disturb (or challenge) my peace of mind and I'm more than fine arguing my beliefs and thoughts. I'm also pretty untrusting of people. Also, in a crisis or conflict, my first thoughts tend to be "what needs to be done and how can things be communicated clearly and efficiently", which is something I've only seen really in 5s and 1s.
Thank you for this video! I’m not 100% sure yet, but I’m really leaning toward thinking I’m a type 9! One thing that really connected with me is that I have questioned if I am almost all of the other types at some point (except a 7 and 8 because I’m super introverted and I avoid conflict). I’ve taken several tests and usually type as a 4, and I do relate a lot to it, but I don’t relate to the core motivations. I feel my core fear is definitely either conflict or failure, and my core desire is having peace or being good.
I just found you and I am impressed with how well you teach. It's really making sense! I deep-dove into enneagram in the past, got kind of muddled, took a break, and came back. You're reconfirming my 9 with this video!
I am so curious about the emotions of the type 9 vs the 4 because I hate feeling emotions so much and I will try to distract myself, but I can't. I have to feel and talk through all of them and process them before I can move on. I don't remember that being the case as much when I was younger. I didn't know I had emotions other than the occasional explosion, then back to playing. :)
So I’m pretty convinced I’m a 9 at my core, because peace is so huge for me. BUT, I grew up in a big emotional family and conflict resolution was big, so I’m not afraid of conflict at all, in fact I really like it as it sorts things out quicker! If things (relationally or evening understanding) aren’t resolved it stresses me out, so I know conflict is the safest quickest way to peace. I’m pretty sure I have a strong 8 wing! I’m also pretty sure I’m not a 5 as I’m very emotionally aware of myself and expressive 😅 Been finding finding my type very hard, as the core drivers I’m pretty sure are 9s, but I feel like the way that comes out are all the other types 😭
You're right, it come down to the core drivers when figuring out our dominant type. Sounds like you do have a strong 8 wing. And healthy nines will address conflict if it will lead to true peace. I will be making a Mistypes Video for each type, hopefully this will help you even more. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you! I’m a very extroverted 9, so I struggled to figure out my number. I tested as a 2,7 and 9. Listening to The Road Back to You helped, but hearing your mistypings was a lightbulb moment. I’m not a 2 but I have similarities and close relationship with 2’s. I’m not a 7 but this was hard to distinguish because I have a lot of similar behavior with different motivations.
I'm trying to figure out if I'm a type 4 or a type 9. I was pretty sure I was a 4, but the more I learn about type 9, I'm finding that a lot about type 9 resonates with me as well. But my problem is there is a lot about both the 4 and the 9 that I feel resonate pretty deeply. I understand the different motivations of the two types, but I guess I'm still unsure about myself. But one reason I lean toward 4 is that I tend to put my feeling first before other people's and I know that 9's tend to put other people's feelings first. I don't like conflict though. I will avoid it at all costs...EXCEPT if that means compromising my convictions. And I think that is possibly the key difference (or one key difference). And although I am naturally very trusting of people, I also have a good sense of when someone is not genuine. Like, I easily believe things people say, not sensing when it's just a joke, in sort of a naive way, but I can be a good judge of character. Not always 100% with every person, but I don't let anyone use me...that's just not going to happen.
This video is super helpful! Tested as a 4, but nothing felt right about that. Doing some of my own research now to see what I really am and I relate to so much of what you pointed out in the video. Thank you!
I literally went around the entire Enneagram thinking I was every type…except 8 (that should have been my clue right there). I eventually landed on 3 because I really identified with the “working to earn love” core fear. But after revisiting the 9 (I originally thought I was a 9 in the first place), I finally realized I was a 9 who moves to a 3 when I’m healthy and when I’m taking my ADHD medication 😅😅😅 I do tend to be a bit critical though so I’m probably a strong 9w1 (not organized enough to be a pure 1 for sure). Thank you so much for your video! I was so confused for months because I really didn’t feel like I related to the “energy” and “task oriented” portions of being a pure type 3. This explains so much!
I'm looking forward to getting in touch with my 8 wing (I'm 9w1). I feel like a lot of my anxiety in the past few years is because I don't want to be the perpetrator OR the victim, so I've been withdrawing, not dating, not getting close to anyone. Thing is - those aren't the only two options! There are also healthy relationships!
Hey Hillary. I'm having trouble placing one of my characters. I keep going back and forth between a 9 or a 5. He acts a lot more like a 9 than a 5. He's very serene and easy going and generous. But he's also a proud intellectual. Most other characters find him painfully dull, because he loves quiet, contemplative activities and will often drone on about random studies he's read about or facts he learned about from random nature or science documentaries. He doesn't believe in entertainment for entertainments sake. In his eyes if it's not practical or it doesn't teach you anything, than it's a waste of time. I guess he's somewhere between Captain Holt and Owl from Whinee the Pooh.
Very interesting - I tested as a 4w5 but 9 was a close second and I can definitely see traits of either in myself. I can’t decide but would almost rather identify as a type 4.
This makes so much sense. The 4, 5 and 9 are in the same stance. The withdrawn stance. I have a video on stances that would explain this. Thank you for sharing!
Hillary McCaskey I watched the stances video too and that is interesting. Can definitely tell the difference between people with the withdrawn stance and the other stances, from there it gets trickier
Hello Hillary. I do thank you for making this video. now im assured that im a 9. I thought i was 6, because it was so convincing. Then in this video, you explained that 9 doesn't like to vent too much, preferably no. Yes its so true 😂. I also don't like when people coming to me just vent with heavy emotions oh my gosh... it drains my energy quickly. I can listen to people but when im not ready, i feel like my peacefulness is being shaken and its horrible. in the past, when someone kept complaining, I'd be so blunt and saying "stfu" 😐. now im trying to be more considerate... and suggesting them some ideas so they can feel better. Deciding my wing was difficult too, but it was fun cuz now i understand why i can be so blunt sometimes 😂 im influenced by 8 a lot. final result = im an 9w8. your videos have helped me a lot. thank you very much. 🙏
Thank you for this video, it really helped me a lot! I was struggling between 3-6-9 for a quite long time. As I was reading descriptions of types I was always feeling like I'm a bit of every type, but never ''fully'' one of them, now I understand why. What also made me realize I might be a 9 is a fact that I was always far away from drama. Even when I was standing right next to it, it would never touch me. I thought I'm just lucky but I think I could avoid that kind of stuff unconsciously.
For the longest time I thought I was a 4 - withdrawn and self-flushing. I also related a lot to a 2 ...then a friend who has strong, confident opinions is convinced that I am a 5. (Not believing her opinion can be a struggle for me...) I read books and watched lots of enneagram videos and just got more confused. Some things about certain types I related to, and lots of other traits I didn't relate to at all. Same with the 9. Nothing really clicked with "THIS is it - my type!" until I watched your 'stance' video. Wow - a 9 (who knew?!) ... with probably a wing 1 due to my inner critic voice (which I can ignore after a while... ) The second witness was from Helen Palmer's book under the 9 type ( I read the whole book and the other types, too) when she writes, " Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs. They describe family situations that range from neglect to being overshadowed by siblings to being ignored or attacked when they stood up for their own ideas. What is common to all of these childhood prototypes is the sense of not being listened to when an opinion was put forward and realizing that showing anger directly did not help their opinion to be heard." There it was. (Like a long, lost, and painful memory...) As a child, I was (in my perception at least,) overshadowed... and the family dynamics were such as there were two very strong female 'leaders'... without room for a third. I was 'lost' without a clue... or ambition/drive... or goals... for most of my life. (Not a sob story... but simply a fact. I was loved...but conditionally. My family did the best that they could with the tools and their own challenges that they had. ) With all of the types, there are the added variances - with SP - SO- and SX ... and wings... and levels of health (or not so healthy ) that no two persons of the same type will exactly act the same ~ Then going into tri-types and the combos that are possible there... we really can look different! ( I believe I am a tri-type 9 - 5 - 4 self pres... first withdrawing as a 9... then thinking it through as a 5... and lastly my feelings come toddling along as a 4. ~ ALL withdrawn types - yikes...) 9's (it was surprising to me to learn exactly what that is) can merge with other types... and sure enough - that is what I tend to do, sadly. I don't really like who I am, I guess. I like who other people are better...( ha!... I love hanging out with a friend who is a healthy 8... the confidence rubs off on me. ) Each of us who are a 9 would describe being a 9 differently... but the bottom line motives are the same.
My mom is a 9 and she would relate to your quoted passage, as she was the oldest of 8 kids, always having to be in the background and never feeling like her voice mattered. I am a 4w5 and I too have always felt overshadowed but largely in part to feeling misunderstood. 'If only they would get me, then everyone would understand that I am not so weird.' Also, while 4s share some of that overlooked feeling the 9s get, 4s differ in that deep down we believe we do have something to share, say, express that is worth noticing--or at least we want to believe it is worth noticing. Although it can be that we don't know exactly what that something is. Is it an artistic talent? Achievement? The way we dress? That 4 will have something about them that longs to stand out or be different. 3 and 9 tend to get on well b/c the 3 craves the spotlight and achieves it while the 9 is willing to admire the 3 for the achievement. 4s will often be rolling their eyes off to the side with regard to the pushy 3, who receives attention 'via conventional means.' In a work setting, I can come off very easy going (it is my 5 wing detachment) where I 'seem' 9-like but then these strong opinions will emerge and this will often shock the 3. I become extremely resentful towards those boxing me in based on status quo, where as the 9 is more likely to accept this status quo. Sometimes the best way to learn your type is to see how you get on with other types. I used to work with an 8 that I got on well with but she seemed to hate most 3s. It was amazing how she would sniff them out without even knowing the E-gram.
@@Jessicaunarex - too true. I can admire most other types ( drama and 'all about me's' gets me rolling my eyes... mostly in my thoughts, usually) I am surprised that your mom, being the oldest of 8 - is a type 9. (I had a strong dominant mom AND older sister... while my dad and I were much more laid back in comparison.) Yes - the 4's do feel misunderstood, sadly. It is like having a poetic soul that not many people can relate to, as others cannot see what the 4 can see and feel so deeply. 4's ARE noticed - and appreciated... but not in the exact way that the 4 imagines it should be. ( ... my 4 friend who is also an INTENSE SX... not the withdrawing 4 whatsoever. They can be more like a type 8 than even an 8! I got frequently 'corrected' for not responding to her the way that I 'should' have done...🙄) Thanks for the response!
Wow, when you quoted "Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs" this hit home. It's so true. Thank you for sharing all this. It was so good and I loved reading it. And you are right, the motives being the same is what matters.
I'm either a 6w5 or 9w1. I think I am a 9, but I definitely look very much like a 6 when stressed (and I have anxiety a lot so I do veer towards that). I'm not positive, though. I could just be a healthy 6 right now that looks like a 9. Also, with what you mentioned in the video, I will disassociate (like a 9) when things get very stressful, but oftentimes I will also vent (like a 6), so that also confuses me a bit on if I am a 6 or a 9.
Am I still a peacemaker if I’m okay with conflict? I related to so much of your other 9 videos but between the 5 and 9, I will express my opinions fearlessly like a 5. But I don’t hv the anxieties of a 5.
I'm even more confused now :(. I'm pretty sure I'm a type 6, but the way you described 6 vs 9 has me questioning that. I vent a lot. My mind is always on and despite seeming calm on the outside I am really emotional on the inside. but i will withdraw from situations to have some piece of mind. The way I deal with conflict doesn't fit either but leans more towards 9. I avoid confrontation and sometimes would rather leave things unresolved and unsaid. And I have a really short fuse. I'd get angry or alarmed over anything and you can see it on my face right away.
So easy to mistype as a 9. I feel related to all numbers most as a 4, 5, 3, 1, 6. I have my own private world to protect me and have peace when the world is hard
I’m a type 9 (945) that mistyped as a 4w5 for ages. I related with the 4 descriptions for the most part, but thing that kept rubbing me the wrong way was the Envy part of the 4 descriptions. I’m not an envious person, and I don’t really care about being special either since I’m always happy to find people who can relate with me and my experiences. But after some reading, listening to podcasts and RUclips discussions, I figured out I’m a 9. I definitely withdraw to run away from my feelings, and I hate feeling upset/sad to the point where I avoid movies that I know are sad. Told myself I was a 9w8 for ages, but finally came around to the fact that I’m more likely a 9w1.
A very close friend of mine (who is definitely not a 9) has a “5-year plan” for everything and is constantly in motion getting stuff done. I’m a 9 and can barely think of a plan for lunch today!
I remember doing a test and my tritype was 594, could that be why I have a hard time differentiating between the three? I'm not as opinionated like a 5 so I thought I'd rule that one out, but I'm still not really sure lol I also go towards the 6 stress level a lot. I didn't think I trusted people easily, but when I look back I see that when I first meet someone and start getting to know them, it's almost like I'm in a trance/ dreamworld and I don't think about them ever doing anything bad. I don't even really think about if I trust them or not. I've actually tried to train myself to be more discerning since younger me used to trust everybody.
Yes, this could be why. I need to do a video on tritypes 😃 Such good advice on trusting. I agree I trust everyone right away but having and using discernment is really wise. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent video! I know we aren't supposed to type other people but my kids were trying to figure out their dad. We listened to many videos and all came to the same conclusion that he was a SP 9w1. We had him take the test last weekend and his highest 2 were 2 and 6. This really confused me and my son. After he left we were talking about it and my son said he thinks it's because he's always under stress (keep on insisting to make bad decisions and that can happen). So, this video definitely helped me see how he could mistyped as a 6 . Thanks so much
Hahahaha! Your right we shouldn’t but we can speculate 😂 and I can see how a 9 could mistype as a 2 and 6. Your son is spot on with the stress path. And a 9 and 2 are sooo similar. Thanks for sharing!
How do you stay a healthy 9 so you are leaning into your 3 wing?? I'm struggling with that. Please make a video about what routines and strategies you use to move forward with your goals as a type 9!?
I felt the very same. somebody else had to tell me, I am a 9,. of course now everything makes sense and I understand, why I struggled believing, I could be a nine
I feel torn between 5 and 9. My desire to gain knowledge and understanding about everything is through the roof, but I’m also easy-going and a pretty chill person to be around. I don’t relate to the description of 5s being opinionated or argumentative and I don’t like arguing with others. But I heard that 9s don’t really want to dive into knowledge as much and that’s definitely not me. But at the same time, I’m a lot more empathetic and supportive with others than 5s are said to be. I’m super into science, tech, psychology, philosophy, and astronomy. I heard that 9s are down-to-earth but I’m too into theories or abstract topics compared to the concrete. Is it possible for 5s to be lazy? I want to accumulate lots of wisdom and knowledge, but I often procrastinate on my school assignments or I randomly get tired while doing work and get distracted from reading by RUclips or other random tidbits of knowledge online. So maybe not lazy, but just lack of productivity. I believe that my tritype is 592, so that might explain why I seem so emotional and empathic for a 5.
I am a 9 and I'm sure. But sometimes I still wonder if I can't be a 2... Normally I would never insert myself into the lives of others but I noticed that I still do that sometimes. And when I thought about the situations I inserted myself, I noticed that it was always in moments when some people I care about had problems with each other. They didn't solve their conflict and didn't see the other point of view. In this moments I can't held myself back. I have to insert myself and try all my best to mediate even if they don't ask for my help or don't even want it. That helped me to confirm to me that I have to be a 9. Does that make any sense?
Am gonna put this on my list and watch it every time i doubt myself as in like once every couple months but thank you 🌸 and your definitely not alone i do those things too 😂😂
I feel like I'm 50/50 type 9w1 and type 5w4. I don't fully relate to either :/ I think I'm pretty skeptical rather than trusting and while I am prone to escapism like a 9, I don't like to remain ignorant. Especially if it's something important, or a decision I know I have to make eventually. Also I've heard 9w1s can havs very black and white moral beliefs while I'm a pretty much all gray when it comes to that. I think it's actually contradictory from articles to say that we're both "understanding and open-minded" yet black and white. Like what? Isn't the whole thing with 9s that we can usually understand every perspective?
It's interesting what u said about the pink classes. For me (also type 9) it's different. I don't see the world through pink glasses at all. (My 6 doesn't allow me, I see danger and risks everywhere and see the bad in people). But do deeply wish to live in a pink colored world where all is good and nice and warm and soft. My husband often jokes that should live in Teletubbie land. It's so true haha, nice hills and flowers and the sun laughing at me and no worries only good vibes!😄
Okay as a 9 I have embraced a system of postit notes to remind me of things that have to be done, and they're always put somewhere I will notice - like over the Keurig or on the milk jug. Then I have google assistant to set me reminders and last and most import, I live with a good supportive person (a 1) to check into that will nag me when I don't complete something important, so in order to avoid that conflict I just do the thing instead (it's so much easier 😅) than disrupting my harmony.
I just have a curiousity question. How are you with eye contact? Is it easy for you? Do you get disappointed that others don't give you eye contact? It may seem unrelated but for me, it is related.
My father was typed as a 9 and my mother and I are baffled. He took the test very quickly and while going through a big and challenging trial in life, so I think it was poor timing. Do you have a video we could refer to to potentially see what type you may actually be if you feel mistyped as a 9?
Im a 5w6 and i have a strong feeling my friend is in reality a 9 but mistyped as a five (probably because shes an INTJ). She is quite unhealthy and can be very slow, hazy, sleepy and passive; which drives me insane because shes not observant enough to truly be a five. We will be engaged in the same activity and i wont miss a single detail while she cant keep up with the pase at all and simply resigns and gives up.
Id love to hear some advice on how i could support an unhealthy 9 because although she can drive me nuts i love my friend and she always respects my boundaries which is very valuable to me as a five in a friendship
@@BBK96 A lot of 9 mistype themselves as a 5 because they love learning and have a good grades. For me, type 5 is a lot more intense. One question that I asked my friend and make her realize that she isn't a 5 is about how to react on Coronavirus crisis. I as a 5 tried to collect information to understand the situation but she said she was scared to dig in because it's gonna destroy her inner peace. May be you can try this kind of question with your friend. Hope it's help.
@@jutalakcherdharun1272 thanks alot for the response :) another thing i find that are very polarizing between 5 and 9 is that a 5s are almost incapable to relax (unless completely alone) while relaxing for a 9s seem very rewarding and motivating
One of my friends was like "you seem like a 2 or 3!" And was like... I don't know. I got 9 the first time I took a quiz, type 2 on a more recent quiz... I just don't know...
Sometimes I feel like a 4 and a 7. If my wings weren't 1 and 8 they'd be those. Like, my little feet! :p my left foot 4, and my right foot 7 lol Also, with the goal thing, yes I absolutely struggle. But not because I'm worried about what other people would want from me OHOH NO. I could NOT care less about what other people want me to do. There's a line. It's a pretty far line from the starting point but if for example people would want me to drink alcohol I'll be like "no!" When I know what I want I know what I want. I sit still in my belief and my opinion and I do not budge. Does that make me not 9? Or is it my 8 or 1 wing? I don't know. I feel like I'm a 9 but then again there are these things! So many things that contradict that! Maybe it's because I'm an INFP idk. There's just no ONE type I completely relate with. I WANT to be a nine :( but I feel like a mix of all of them!
I struggle so much with figuring out if I'm 4 or 9. I identify more with the 4 intensity of feeling but also very strongly with the 9 mediator traits. I don't withdraw internally or put on rose-colored glasses, I'm actually hyper-aware of my feelings and okay exploring really dark and hard things. But I also definitely tend to merge with others and I don't always feel bad about assimilating or not being unique.
same here!
Me to
timestamps:
9 & 1 - 1:22
9 & 2 - 2:26
9 & 3 - 4:24
9 & 4 - 6:52
9 & 5 - 9:19
9 & 6 - 11:07
9 & 7 - 13:24
9 & 8 - 14:45
Haha, you're definitely not alone. Fellow 9 here and I'm constantly "counting the cost" and deciding not to engage because it's not worth the energy.
Right? Thanks for this comment 😃 love hearing from my fellow 9’s!
I personally am convinced there are a lot of 4s & 6s out there who are mistyped as 9s. Speaking from my own experience here - I was told by many people online that I was a 9w1, but after doing some more digging into the core motivations of each type, I knew I was definitely a 4w5.
I think the key of what you said is people shouldn’t type other people. We truly do not know the actual motivations of other people. Good job doing the work and digging in.
I actually had the reverse experience. I thought I was a 4w5, but with the help of someone online I realized I was a 9w1. I still confirmed for myself, I didn't want a random stranger online to type me ofc 😂 I was just really having a hard time with my ennea, so I had to look for help somewhere else. (I do have a 4 in my Tritype and it's really strong too and it really influences me a lot, but when it boils down to the motivations, I'm a 9.)
But I do agree with you and with Hillary, we should type ourselves. Maybe ask for the help of someone close and, last resort, a professional, if it's possible to afford.
Nine, here, thinking about venting... That act is a big energy waster. When others vent to me, I just want to shrink away from their words and frustration.
I so get this.
I took the test and was confused by my nine answer so i read in detail abt every type and related deeply to each of them.. this makes so much senss my mind feels so clear now
Sweet! ❤️❤️❤️
TRUTH!! I am a nine with also a high pull to the 4, but I agree with the withdrawal process. I look very much like counter-type 4 but in the heart, I am a nine. I don't like to feel any stress or conflict. I will however find myself taking on the problems and pain or "Long suffering" tenacity of the counter-type four. Interesting video, thanks for all you do.
I have been wondering if I am a type 4 instead of a type 9 lately and this video helped me. I’m a very artistic person who loves beautiful things and deep connections with humans, which are stereotypical 4 things and that is the biggest thing that caused me to question my type, but deep down I know I’m just an artistic a 9. Art actually helps me to zone out more than connect with my emotions, which is more of a 9 thing
Oh, I love how your journey has unfolded. Thank you for sharing with me ❤️
I mistyped for years. This channel has really helped affirm the 9w8 typing. Everything about the energy in your videos is relatable. Not expending energy to just vent is 100% a way to keep my inner peace. The Complaint Free World Challenge taught me how not to complain about things unless I’m talking to someone who has the power to fix it. It was a game changer because it trained me to stay in healthy 9 or move to 3 if a situation really needs attention.
Wow. Some great insight here. Thank you for sharing!
Please make this into a full series! It is so helpful, and I love your videos! They’re so to the point and understandable.
It sounds like I need too! LOL! I will work on the next one this week. Thank you for sharing!
I feel like I’m a 9 , 4 and 3.. I’m all over the place and have never been confident with my type! Ugh
I’m a 972, 9w/1, ENFP, SX and have always joked that my spirit animal is a chameleon.
I saw a video that talked about how often 5s mistype as 9s, so I came across this video and this clears up a lot for me. I think the biggest thing is that I seek out things that could potentially disturb (or challenge) my peace of mind and I'm more than fine arguing my beliefs and thoughts. I'm also pretty untrusting of people. Also, in a crisis or conflict, my first thoughts tend to be "what needs to be done and how can things be communicated clearly and efficiently", which is something I've only seen really in 5s and 1s.
Thank you for this video! I’m not 100% sure yet, but I’m really leaning toward thinking I’m a type 9! One thing that really connected with me is that I have questioned if I am almost all of the other types at some point (except a 7 and 8 because I’m super introverted and I avoid conflict). I’ve taken several tests and usually type as a 4, and I do relate a lot to it, but I don’t relate to the core motivations. I feel my core fear is definitely either conflict or failure, and my core desire is having peace or being good.
I am a 9w8 and man oh man, I relate to EVERYTHING you said in this! Love it, thank you!
❤️❤️❤️
I just found you and I am impressed with how well you teach. It's really making sense! I deep-dove into enneagram in the past, got kind of muddled, took a break, and came back. You're reconfirming my 9 with this video!
You are so welcome! Thank you for the amazing comment! Made my day!
I am so curious about the emotions of the type 9 vs the 4 because I hate feeling emotions so much and I will try to distract myself, but I can't. I have to feel and talk through all of them and process them before I can move on. I don't remember that being the case as much when I was younger. I didn't know I had emotions other than the occasional explosion, then back to playing. :)
So I’m pretty convinced I’m a 9 at my core, because peace is so huge for me. BUT, I grew up in a big emotional family and conflict resolution was big, so I’m not afraid of conflict at all, in fact I really like it as it sorts things out quicker! If things (relationally or evening understanding) aren’t resolved it stresses me out, so I know conflict is the safest quickest way to peace. I’m pretty sure I have a strong 8 wing! I’m also pretty sure I’m not a 5 as I’m very emotionally aware of myself and expressive 😅
Been finding finding my type very hard, as the core drivers I’m pretty sure are 9s, but I feel like the way that comes out are all the other types 😭
You're right, it come down to the core drivers when figuring out our dominant type. Sounds like you do have a strong 8 wing. And healthy nines will address conflict if it will lead to true peace. I will be making a Mistypes Video for each type, hopefully this will help you even more. Thanks for sharing!
Type 9 wing 8. I'm grateful for my 8 wing.
Thank you! I’m a very extroverted 9, so I struggled to figure out my number. I tested as a 2,7 and 9. Listening to The Road Back to You helped, but hearing your mistypings was a lightbulb moment.
I’m not a 2 but I have similarities and close relationship with 2’s. I’m not a 7 but this was hard to distinguish because I have a lot of similar behavior with different motivations.
I'm a 9w1 infp and sometimes wondered if I was a 1w9. Thanks for clearing this up. I'm too much of a people pleaser to be 1w9
Rose colored glasses! :D I thought that the minute you walked into your cute pink room! :)
LOL! Thank you!
I just watched a bunch of your videos and I relate to all your of your comments about the nine! As a 9w1 :)
Love it! #ninesunite!
I'm trying to figure out if I'm a type 4 or a type 9. I was pretty sure I was a 4, but the more I learn about type 9, I'm finding that a lot about type 9 resonates with me as well. But my problem is there is a lot about both the 4 and the 9 that I feel resonate pretty deeply. I understand the different motivations of the two types, but I guess I'm still unsure about myself. But one reason I lean toward 4 is that I tend to put my feeling first before other people's and I know that 9's tend to put other people's feelings first. I don't like conflict though. I will avoid it at all costs...EXCEPT if that means compromising my convictions. And I think that is possibly the key difference (or one key difference). And although I am naturally very trusting of people, I also have a good sense of when someone is not genuine. Like, I easily believe things people say, not sensing when it's just a joke, in sort of a naive way, but I can be a good judge of character. Not always 100% with every person, but I don't let anyone use me...that's just not going to happen.
Loving all the videos!!! I'm a SUPER 9 over here! 😄 I'm thankful you are a 9 because you explain myself to me so well!
LOL! Love this! Love my fellow nines!
This video is super helpful! Tested as a 4, but nothing felt right about that. Doing some of my own research now to see what I really am and I relate to so much of what you pointed out in the video. Thank you!
Sweet! This makes me happy! Thank you for sharing!
Further confirming I’m a 4. Thank you.
❤️❤️❤️
I literally went around the entire Enneagram thinking I was every type…except 8 (that should have been my clue right there). I eventually landed on 3 because I really identified with the “working to earn love” core fear. But after revisiting the 9 (I originally thought I was a 9 in the first place), I finally realized I was a 9 who moves to a 3 when I’m healthy and when I’m taking my ADHD medication 😅😅😅 I do tend to be a bit critical though so I’m probably a strong 9w1 (not organized enough to be a pure 1 for sure).
Thank you so much for your video! I was so confused for months because I really didn’t feel like I related to the “energy” and “task oriented” portions of being a pure type 3. This explains so much!
Love this. Love your process and the unfolding of your type! Thank you for sharing!
I'm looking forward to getting in touch with my 8 wing (I'm 9w1). I feel like a lot of my anxiety in the past few years is because I don't want to be the perpetrator OR the victim, so I've been withdrawing, not dating, not getting close to anyone. Thing is - those aren't the only two options! There are also healthy relationships!
Hey Hillary. I'm having trouble placing one of my characters. I keep going back and forth between a 9 or a 5. He acts a lot more like a 9 than a 5. He's very serene and easy going and generous. But he's also a proud intellectual. Most other characters find him painfully dull, because he loves quiet, contemplative activities and will often drone on about random studies he's read about or facts he learned about from random nature or science documentaries. He doesn't believe in entertainment for entertainments sake. In his eyes if it's not practical or it doesn't teach you anything, than it's a waste of time. I guess he's somewhere between Captain Holt and Owl from Whinee the Pooh.
Very interesting - I tested as a 4w5 but 9 was a close second and I can definitely see traits of either in myself. I can’t decide but would almost rather identify as a type 4.
This makes so much sense. The 4, 5 and 9 are in the same stance. The withdrawn stance. I have a video on stances that would explain this. Thank you for sharing!
Hillary McCaskey I watched the stances video too and that is interesting. Can definitely tell the difference between people with the withdrawn stance and the other stances, from there it gets trickier
Hello Hillary.
I do thank you for making this video. now im assured that im a 9. I thought i was 6, because it was so convincing. Then in this video, you explained that 9 doesn't like to vent too much, preferably no. Yes its so true 😂. I also don't like when people coming to me just vent with heavy emotions oh my gosh... it drains my energy quickly. I can listen to people but when im not ready, i feel like my peacefulness is being shaken and its horrible. in the past, when someone kept complaining, I'd be so blunt and saying "stfu" 😐.
now im trying to be more considerate... and suggesting them some ideas so they can feel better.
Deciding my wing was difficult too, but it was fun cuz now i understand why i can be so blunt sometimes 😂 im influenced by 8 a lot.
final result = im an 9w8.
your videos have helped me a lot. thank you very much. 🙏
Thank you for sharing and your kind words! Means so much to me ❤️
I found this to be quite helpful. Thank you.
You’re so welcome!
Thank you for this video, it really helped me a lot!
I was struggling between 3-6-9 for a quite long time. As I was reading descriptions of types I was always feeling like I'm a bit of every type, but never ''fully'' one of them, now I understand why.
What also made me realize I might be a 9 is a fact that I was always far away from drama. Even when I was standing right next to it, it would never touch me. I thought I'm just lucky but I think I could avoid that kind of stuff unconsciously.
Glad it helped! Thank you for sharing! ❤
I’ve been mistyped as a 4 & 5 for so long…… as a 9w1 that discovered my triad is 954, suddenly it all makes sense.
For the longest time I thought I was a 4 - withdrawn and self-flushing. I also related a lot to a 2 ...then a friend who has strong, confident opinions is convinced that I am a 5. (Not believing her opinion can be a struggle for me...) I read books and watched lots of enneagram videos and just got more confused. Some things about certain types I related to, and lots of other traits I didn't relate to at all. Same with the 9. Nothing really clicked with "THIS is it - my type!" until I watched your 'stance' video. Wow - a 9 (who knew?!) ... with probably a wing 1 due to my inner critic voice (which I can ignore after a while... )
The second witness was from Helen Palmer's book under the 9 type ( I read the whole book and the other types, too) when she writes, " Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs. They describe family situations that range from neglect to being overshadowed by siblings to being ignored or attacked when they stood up for their own ideas. What is common to all of these childhood prototypes is the sense of not being listened to when an opinion was put forward and realizing that showing anger directly did not help their opinion to be heard."
There it was. (Like a long, lost, and painful memory...) As a child, I was (in my perception at least,) overshadowed... and the family dynamics were such as there were two very strong female 'leaders'... without room for a third. I was 'lost' without a clue... or ambition/drive... or goals... for most of my life. (Not a sob story... but simply a fact. I was loved...but conditionally. My family did the best that they could with the tools and their own challenges that they had. )
With all of the types, there are the added variances - with SP - SO- and SX ... and wings... and levels of health (or not so healthy ) that no two persons of the same type will exactly act the same ~ Then going into tri-types and the combos that are possible there... we really can look different! ( I believe I am a tri-type 9 - 5 - 4 self pres... first withdrawing as a 9... then thinking it through as a 5... and lastly my feelings come toddling along as a 4. ~ ALL withdrawn types - yikes...)
9's (it was surprising to me to learn exactly what that is) can merge with other types... and sure enough - that is what I tend to do, sadly. I don't really like who I am, I guess. I like who other people are better...( ha!... I love hanging out with a friend who is a healthy 8... the confidence rubs off on me. )
Each of us who are a 9 would describe being a 9 differently... but the bottom line motives are the same.
My mom is a 9 and she would relate to your quoted passage, as she was the oldest of 8 kids, always having to be in the background and never feeling like her voice mattered. I am a 4w5 and I too have always felt overshadowed but largely in part to feeling misunderstood. 'If only they would get me, then everyone would understand that I am not so weird.'
Also, while 4s share some of that overlooked feeling the 9s get, 4s differ in that deep down we believe we do have something to share, say, express that is worth noticing--or at least we want to believe it is worth noticing. Although it can be that we don't know exactly what that something is. Is it an artistic talent? Achievement? The way we dress? That 4 will have something about them that longs to stand out or be different.
3 and 9 tend to get on well b/c the 3 craves the spotlight and achieves it while the 9 is willing to admire the 3 for the achievement. 4s will often be rolling their eyes off to the side with regard to the pushy 3, who receives attention 'via conventional means.' In a work setting, I can come off very easy going (it is my 5 wing detachment) where I 'seem' 9-like but then these strong opinions will emerge and this will often shock the 3. I become extremely resentful towards those boxing me in based on status quo, where as the 9 is more likely to accept this status quo. Sometimes the best way to learn your type is to see how you get on with other types.
I used to work with an 8 that I got on well with but she seemed to hate most 3s. It was amazing how she would sniff them out without even knowing the E-gram.
@@Jessicaunarex - too true. I can admire most other types ( drama and 'all about me's' gets me rolling my eyes... mostly in my thoughts, usually) I am surprised that your mom, being the oldest of 8 - is a type 9. (I had a strong dominant mom AND older sister... while my dad and I were much more laid back in comparison.)
Yes - the 4's do feel misunderstood, sadly. It is like having a poetic soul that not many people can relate to, as others cannot see what the 4 can see and feel so deeply. 4's ARE noticed - and appreciated... but not in the exact way that the 4 imagines it should be. ( ... my 4 friend who is also an INTENSE SX... not the withdrawing 4 whatsoever. They can be more like a type 8 than even an 8! I got frequently 'corrected' for not responding to her the way that I 'should' have done...🙄) Thanks for the response!
Wow, when you quoted "Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs" this hit home. It's so true. Thank you for sharing all this. It was so good and I loved reading it. And you are right, the motives being the same is what matters.
I'm either a 6w5 or 9w1. I think I am a 9, but I definitely look very much like a 6 when stressed (and I have anxiety a lot so I do veer towards that). I'm not positive, though. I could just be a healthy 6 right now that looks like a 9.
Also, with what you mentioned in the video, I will disassociate (like a 9) when things get very stressful, but oftentimes I will also vent (like a 6), so that also confuses me a bit on if I am a 6 or a 9.
I am a 9 and every thing you said is me. You are not alone! I have so many “ah ha” moments when you describe 9’s!
Thanks for sharing! ❤️❤️❤️
Am I still a peacemaker if I’m okay with conflict? I related to so much of your other 9 videos but between the 5 and 9, I will express my opinions fearlessly like a 5. But I don’t hv the anxieties of a 5.
Yes. Sometimes conflict is healthy. A healthier 9 will engage in conflict if it will bring about real peace.
I'm even more confused now :(. I'm pretty sure I'm a type 6, but the way you described 6 vs 9 has me questioning that. I vent a lot. My mind is always on and despite seeming calm on the outside I am really emotional on the inside. but i will withdraw from situations to have some piece of mind. The way I deal with conflict doesn't fit either but leans more towards 9. I avoid confrontation and sometimes would rather leave things unresolved and unsaid. And I have a really short fuse. I'd get angry or alarmed over anything and you can see it on my face right away.
You are probably a 9 wing 8
This was really helpful! Thank you!
You’re so welcome!
So easy to mistype as a 9. I feel related to all numbers most as a 4, 5, 3, 1, 6. I have my own private world to protect me and have peace when the world is hard
I’m a type 9 (945) that mistyped as a 4w5 for ages. I related with the 4 descriptions for the most part, but thing that kept rubbing me the wrong way was the Envy part of the 4 descriptions. I’m not an envious person, and I don’t really care about being special either since I’m always happy to find people who can relate with me and my experiences. But after some reading, listening to podcasts and RUclips discussions, I figured out I’m a 9. I definitely withdraw to run away from my feelings, and I hate feeling upset/sad to the point where I avoid movies that I know are sad. Told myself I was a 9w8 for ages, but finally came around to the fact that I’m more likely a 9w1.
A very close friend of mine (who is definitely not a 9) has a “5-year plan” for everything and is constantly in motion getting stuff done. I’m a 9 and can barely think of a plan for lunch today!
Thank you so much! I relate to this 100% and finally know that I’m a 9 who can feel like every other type. Whew. 😅
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I remember doing a test and my tritype was 594, could that be why I have a hard time differentiating between the three? I'm not as opinionated like a 5 so I thought I'd rule that one out, but I'm still not really sure lol
I also go towards the 6 stress level a lot.
I didn't think I trusted people easily, but when I look back I see that when I first meet someone and start getting to know them, it's almost like I'm in a trance/ dreamworld and I don't think about them ever doing anything bad. I don't even really think about if I trust them or not. I've actually tried to train myself to be more discerning since younger me used to trust everybody.
Yes, this could be why. I need to do a video on tritypes 😃 Such good advice on trusting. I agree I trust everyone right away but having and using discernment is really wise. Thanks for sharing.
I can relate to most of this video.
Excellent video! I know we aren't supposed to type other people but my kids were trying to figure out their dad. We listened to many videos and all came to the same conclusion that he was a SP 9w1. We had him take the test last weekend and his highest 2 were 2 and 6. This really confused me and my son. After he left we were talking about it and my son said he thinks it's because he's always under stress (keep on insisting to make bad decisions and that can happen). So, this video definitely helped me see how he could mistyped as a 6 . Thanks so much
Hahahaha! Your right we shouldn’t but we can speculate 😂 and I can see how a 9 could mistype as a 2 and 6. Your son is spot on with the stress path. And a 9 and 2 are sooo similar. Thanks for sharing!
How do you stay a healthy 9 so you are leaning into your 3 wing?? I'm struggling with that. Please make a video about what routines and strategies you use to move forward with your goals as a type 9!?
This is SO helpful! Thank you
You’re so welcome! ❤️
I felt the very same. somebody else had to tell me, I am a 9,. of course now everything makes sense and I understand, why I struggled believing, I could be a nine
Love this!
Well done 👍🏼 Im pretty sure I'm a nine mistaken for a six. However, I do like to talk things over to gain more insight. It's just really exhausting.
This is such a helpful video!
Glad it was helpful!
Great information!
Thank you!
I feel torn between 5 and 9. My desire to gain knowledge and understanding about everything is through the roof, but I’m also easy-going and a pretty chill person to be around. I don’t relate to the description of 5s being opinionated or argumentative and I don’t like arguing with others. But I heard that 9s don’t really want to dive into knowledge as much and that’s definitely not me. But at the same time, I’m a lot more empathetic and supportive with others than 5s are said to be. I’m super into science, tech, psychology, philosophy, and astronomy. I heard that 9s are down-to-earth but I’m too into theories or abstract topics compared to the concrete. Is it possible for 5s to be lazy? I want to accumulate lots of wisdom and knowledge, but I often procrastinate on my school assignments or I randomly get tired while doing work and get distracted from reading by RUclips or other random tidbits of knowledge online. So maybe not lazy, but just lack of productivity. I believe that my tritype is 592, so that might explain why I seem so emotional and empathic for a 5.
I am a 9 and I'm sure. But sometimes I still wonder if I can't be a 2... Normally I would never insert myself into the lives of others but I noticed that I still do that sometimes. And when I thought about the situations I inserted myself, I noticed that it was always in moments when some people I care about had problems with each other. They didn't solve their conflict and didn't see the other point of view. In this moments I can't held myself back. I have to insert myself and try all my best to mediate even if they don't ask for my help or don't even want it.
That helped me to confirm to me that I have to be a 9. Does that make any sense?
Thank you. I'm stuck with whether I'm a 9 or 1.
You're so welcome. I will be doing a type 1 mistypes, hopefully that will help you gain more clarity.
Am gonna put this on my list and watch it every time i doubt myself as in like once every couple months but thank you 🌸 and your definitely not alone i do those things too 😂😂
Yes!!! Great idea!!!
I feel totally like this! It is hard to be a nine. You feel not good enough
I feel like I'm 50/50 type 9w1 and type 5w4. I don't fully relate to either :/ I think I'm pretty skeptical rather than trusting and while I am prone to escapism like a 9, I don't like to remain ignorant. Especially if it's something important, or a decision I know I have to make eventually.
Also I've heard 9w1s can havs very black and white moral beliefs while I'm a pretty much all gray when it comes to that. I think it's actually contradictory from articles to say that we're both "understanding and open-minded" yet black and white. Like what? Isn't the whole thing with 9s that we can usually understand every perspective?
It's interesting what u said about the pink classes. For me (also type 9) it's different. I don't see the world through pink glasses at all. (My 6 doesn't allow me, I see danger and risks everywhere and see the bad in people). But do deeply wish to live in a pink colored world where all is good and nice and warm and soft. My husband often jokes that should live in Teletubbie land. It's so true haha, nice hills and flowers and the sun laughing at me and no worries only good vibes!😄
Oh my! I’m laughing at the Teletubbie land! Love that!
I feel like a 9 (with wings: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7&8) haha!
LOL!!!! Makes sense since the 9 can feel like all types 😂
Thanks for sharing this, I am definitely a nine though some tests show me as a 5. Maybe a nine with 5 tendencies.
Omg! So relatable!!
As a type nine how are you holding accountable of yourself? Any tips and advice
Okay as a 9 I have embraced a system of postit notes to remind me of things that have to be done, and they're always put somewhere I will notice - like over the Keurig or on the milk jug. Then I have google assistant to set me reminders and last and most import, I live with a good supportive person (a 1) to check into that will nag me when I don't complete something important, so in order to avoid that conflict I just do the thing instead (it's so much easier 😅) than disrupting my harmony.
I just have a curiousity question. How are you with eye contact? Is it easy for you? Do you get disappointed that others don't give you eye contact? It may seem unrelated but for me, it is related.
My father was typed as a 9 and my mother and I are baffled. He took the test very quickly and while going through a big and challenging trial in life, so I think it was poor timing. Do you have a video we could refer to to potentially see what type you may actually be if you feel mistyped as a 9?
I’m a 9, but I feel like I become a 5 when I am drunk or discussing something I’m really passionate about.
Okay so I just learned about enneagram yesterday, and I thought I was a 4....but now I’m pretty sure I’m a 9
Sweet! Those two can get confused for each other because they definitely have similarities.
Im a 5w6 and i have a strong feeling my friend is in reality a 9 but mistyped as a five (probably because shes an INTJ). She is quite unhealthy and can be very slow, hazy, sleepy and passive; which drives me insane because shes not observant enough to truly be a five. We will be engaged in the same activity and i wont miss a single detail while she cant keep up with the pase at all and simply resigns and gives up.
Id love to hear some advice on how i could support an unhealthy 9 because although she can drive me nuts i love my friend and she always respects my boundaries which is very valuable to me as a five in a friendship
@@BBK96 A lot of 9 mistype themselves as a 5 because they love learning and have a good grades. For me, type 5 is a lot more intense. One question that I asked my friend and make her realize that she isn't a 5 is about how to react on Coronavirus crisis. I as a 5 tried to collect information to understand the situation but she said she was scared to dig in because it's gonna destroy her inner peace. May be you can try this kind of question with your friend. Hope it's help.
@@jutalakcherdharun1272 thanks alot for the response :) another thing i find that are very polarizing between 5 and 9 is that a 5s are almost incapable to relax (unless completely alone) while relaxing for a 9s seem very rewarding and motivating
One of my friends was like "you seem like a 2 or 3!" And was like... I don't know. I got 9 the first time I took a quiz, type 2 on a more recent quiz... I just don't know...
Okay this helps me decide that I’m a 9 and not a 4 or 5 or… any of the others 😅 I think the only one I never considered was 6 or 7 😂
Is it actually possible for type 9 to have trust issues and be as loyal as type 6?
Can you be a pessimistic 9? I see the best and worst in people and am not optimistic.
My sister thinks she is a 9, which is interesting to me. I don’t know her inner person so I am not sure. Can a type 9 be impatient and blunt? 😂
They can with people they are close to and if they have a strong 8 wing.
Sometimes I feel like a 4 and a 7. If my wings weren't 1 and 8 they'd be those. Like, my little feet! :p my left foot 4, and my right foot 7 lol
Also, with the goal thing, yes I absolutely struggle. But not because I'm worried about what other people would want from me OHOH NO. I could NOT care less about what other people want me to do. There's a line. It's a pretty far line from the starting point but if for example people would want me to drink alcohol I'll be like "no!" When I know what I want I know what I want. I sit still in my belief and my opinion and I do not budge. Does that make me not 9? Or is it my 8 or 1 wing?
I don't know. I feel like I'm a 9 but then again there are these things! So many things that contradict that! Maybe it's because I'm an INFP idk. There's just no ONE type I completely relate with. I WANT to be a nine :( but I feel like a mix of all of them!
Think I'm maybe a 9. 😉