I hope you enjoy this video. Just a little note, these questions are based on my own experiences, and some of the experiences from other wheelchair users in the wheelsnoheels community. This does to apply to every wheelchair users, remember everyone is different. Don't forget to let me know what you don't mind being asked. Lots of love Gem xx
I'm not sure if you ever in your life have been called a faker? In my life, I have been called a fakeer once I started needing a wheelchair as of JUN of 2001. I have always been legally blind from birth but later in life, I started having other medical issues and symptoms, and at first, doctors would do tests but they would always come back with "everything looks "NORMAL" and yet I was struggling"? Personally, I don't always like it when someone asks me about my chair? because it feels like I am going to be judged, or that I have to repeat and try to prove that I am disabled and that I really need my chair once again? If someone asks a question about my chair I have no problem as long as they ask in a way where they really are asking because they have a family member or friend who is looking for a chair and they really are asking that way?
Child shouting from the other side of the parking lot: "Why are you using a wheelchair now when you just walked out of the car?" Child's parent struck immobile in horror. Me shouting back kindly and explanatory: "Because it hurts when I walk far, so I use the wheelchair when I need to go longer distances." Child shouting contently: "Okay!" See, it wasn't worse than that xD
One time I was walking around with a friend and we saw an elderly man in a wheelchair going up a craaazzzyy steep hill, so we went over and offered to help and he was so nice and funny about it. He gave a big dramatic sigh and was like "ohh finally, you girls saved me", and when we started to push him up (one on each side because seriously the hill was ridiculous), he cheered us on with "c'mon, you're young, you can do better!" And so it ended up with us running our best up the hill, and all three of us laughing. Made our day, and I hope it made his too.
This best interaction I ever had with a kid and parent: A little girl asked her mom why I was in a wheelchair. And the mom said, "Because God..." and the little girl finished, "makes everybody different!" I don't mind answering kids' questions, but I feel like this sums up the best thing we can teach children. People are different; you don't need to know why just know that it's okay. The only question you mentioned that I would mind being asked is if I can do any tricks. If it's a kid, I don't mind so much, but when it's older teenagers and adults, I just get a little De Niro about it: "Am I here to amuse you?"
On a recent trip into town I was in my wheelchair and had to go past some building works which made the pavement narrow. At the other end was a couple with a large mastiff puppy who was trying to hide behind them while they waited for me to come through. When I reached them the puppy kept looking at me and hiding so I stopped for them to pass through. They said the puppy had never seen a wheelchair before and if I wasn’t in a rush could she have a sniff and see it wasn’t something to be scared of. We ended up chatting for about 15 minutes and the puppy had lots of fusses from me so by the end of it she was absolutely fine with me and the wheelchair. It’s all about education and I enjoyed our chat and was in a great mood for the rest of the day. ❤
Honestly I love when kids ask me questions. It’s absolutely adorable most of the time and it’s always nice to be able to tell kids in a really funny way because I have POTS so I kind of tell them that if they’ve ever spun around a bunch and they usually say yes and I tell them how their head feels after spinning is how mine is all the time when I stand up and they’re usually absolutely fascinated by this
I have POTS too. I usually say, “When I stand up, my heart runs really Really fast and I get very tired and wobbly. I use my chair so I won’t be so wobbly and tired.” Kids are the best, they usually accept that answer and move on or talk about times they’ve been dizzy or tired. Grownups never seem to realize that I don’t want to give a 30min lecture on the autonomic nervous system and why it makes my life difficult.
I work with kids so it’s usually the younger ones that ask. I tell them in simple terms my legs don’t work. Sometimes they are concerned so I always put a positive spin on things by saying my chair goes very fast or would they like to hear the horn. They always move onto another topic pretty quickly!
Hahah the first one made me laugh so hard. In the grocery store I’ve had people go around the ENTIRE AISLE just to get something on the other side of me 🤣
Wheels2Walking Same! Just had that in my local Tesco. People warning each other when you are MILES away. WATCH OUT FOR THE WHEELCHAIR .. as if we take up that much room! 😆
Lol I had a little girl in target comment to her mom “that girl is in a wheelie!!” “I want one!” And I would have loved to talk to her and explain but by the time I turned around to talk to her they were gone because mom had speedily ran away :/ You are Awesome!!
Yeah, most people compliment me on my chair (a sparkly hot pink one), but I remember this one time, a little girl told me she liked my chair and I heard her mom chastise her a bit later for it ☹️. The kicker is that when the girl complimented me, I even said, "Thanks! I like your glasses!" Shouldn't that be an indicator that I like to get compliments on the chair (if the fact that I put my personality in it wasn't a big enough of it)?
I’m not a wheelchair user but I do have a disability and recently got a service dog so it’s a lot more vissable than it used to be. I agree that I don’t mind when children ask me questions and think that educating them in many ways is way easier than educating adults.
I know this may not be exactly the question that you would expect in this video. I use a power chair and it is important that when parents have their children ask questions that they inform their children that disabled people may not want to be asked about their disability for many reasons but if the disabled person wants to tell you they will. I have had people say the following statements to me and it depends on who and how they may say these to me that can be demining. "Nice Wheelchair I wish that I had one of those so I can cruise around in it". The answer that people who say this is, Try to carry a heavy kitchen char without any wheels and carry it everywhere you have to go. You are not allowed to use the stairs and you have to go everywhere a wheelchair has to go. Another statement I have been asked is, "Don't Hit Me"! or "Do you have a license to drive that thing". "If you are legally blind how can you drive that thing around". These statements can be very DEMEANING to someone like myself in a wheelchair. I understand that some people are just curious but depending on what that person has gone through you being innocent it can be triggering to the disabled person. Someone may truly be wanting to know because they really do have a legit question about themselves and or a family or friend.
Btw, that second question is so true! Sometimes I feel one way, another time may be the opposite, depending on a million things like mood or pain (like you mentioned) so I totes agree!
I love when people ask about my chair, especially kids, it gives me an excuse to show off my lights and my pathetic piddly horn! It’s far better than the nosey intrusive “what’s wrong with you?” I also like when people ask if I need help for two reasons, sometimes I actually need help being the first, but the second and most important reason that it gives me the choice as to whether I need help or not, instead of people forcing “help” on me! The doors thing is so accurate, I’m always grateful for a door being opened, but it can be a nightmare when they don’t realise that they are blocking the door that they have opened for you!! On the asking about the wheelchair point, I will tell you what happened in the Drs waiting room 2 days ago. A woman I’ve never met before sat down next to me and said “I love your chair” So I thanked her, to which she went on to say that she wants to hire one like it for after an operation she will be having. All fine and dandy, as she goes on to ask me about tilt and then the lights and “do I run about all night outside partying and playing with them? The conversation starts getting uncomfortable feeling, and she goes on to ask about my specialist seating and tells me that I must be “so comfy all the time”. I’m trying to be nice, understanding that she is getting ready for surgery. She then starts saying that she might be as well buying a chair like mine ( large mid wheel power chair with tilt and custom seating and headrest) as she will be in recovery for 6 weeks after the surgery. I’m thinking this must be heavy surgery that she needs a powerchair for? Then she announces that she is having a single bunion operation?!?!?! I try and tell her that there are cheaper and more suitable options for bunion recovery than a powerchair! Had she considered crutches or a cheap or second hand self propelling chair? But no she wanted a chair like mine! 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ So that is the only time I wish I hadnt been asked about my chair!
The Real Mythril goodness! Wow nobody wants to be on a wheelchair I don’t think she has any idea how much goes into getting around and stuff in a chair!
Sophia Tiny Kitten Human I know right! It was clear she had no idea. I think she had this idea that it would teleport into her 4x4 ( yes that was in the weird conversation too) and teleport over her doorsteps. I don’t have a clue how she thought she would charge it! She even said she would just “bum up the steps” at her door and inside her house!
Get an add on horn! I have a pair of Mini Hornets. Child’s bike light with additional button and around 25 sounds. From Amazon UK. The horn is the best bit.
Bump up the steps?! Are you #^{* kidding me? This woman is disabled it sounds like.... In the brain and In the common sense... there are far to many people who don’t have Intellectual disabilities... but are just plain stupid! That sounds like this woman!
☀️ Ｓｕｎｎｙ Ｄａｙｓ ☀️ thank you, you’ve got me looking at an area that I didn’t know existed, and now I’m assessing how loud can it be, before I would get thrown out of shops for using it!
I find older people are super chill when it comes to asking questions. I’ve found myself being so independent that I deny help even if I really do need it. I get people asking me if I’ve gotten a new chair since the last time they saw me which is funny. Doing wheelies and tricks in general are the funniest things ever! You should try wheeling off curbs it’s pretty scary. It’s been awhile Gem👋🏼
Im the same way I like my independence that if I'm in public shopping or what not and people come up to me and ask if i need help will kindly just say no im just looking then their answer that just drives me crazy is oh ok ill just bye over there if you need help i think to myself yea ok no you won't. when growing up with Spina Bifida i was always taught to be as independent as possible and if you can't get something figure out how to get it and then if you still can't get it then ask for help same as if there's an automatic door button i will have my hand on it about to push it and someone will come and open it from experience going through doors that way usually ends up with squashed toes i know people are just being nice but i wish that when you know theres a automatic door and see someone in a wheelchair come to the door just stay back because the wheelchair is wider then you think it is
billieblue Sheepie If you get annoyed just reply “Yes I can run over your toes if you like?” Here in the UK humour often has a slightly sarcastic undertone! Lol 😂
Hehe idk, I carry a rubix cube and/or puzzle boxes as a way to cope with my anxiety in certain situations and often get asked to "perform". Not quite the same as a wheelchair obvs as it's a more optional i^//5×e, dtç
Often to warn people to watch their toes i say, "ya gotta watch your toes because i didn't bring my 'toe truck'." That seems to lighten their mood bring some humor to the situation.
Rather than, “Can I help?” I sometimes say, “Can I offer some assistance?” In situations where it seems like the person really could use assistance but is reluctant to ask, I hope that by using terms that are maybe a little less loaded I can make space for the request without implying they are literally helpless. And I try not to say “give assistance” because it’s not a gift, it’s just common courtesy.
It's so true about being asked to move.. Haha.. Ive had a few people practically pole volt over me or around me..I'm like just asked.. Lol Funny to see though.. I totally agree with being asked about my wheelchair.. I have light on my wheels.. People usually asked about them and can make people feel less awkward about starting a conversation with me.. Also kids are funny.. I once had a kid about age 3/4 asked there parent why I still needed a pram when they weren't allowed there's anymore.. The parents face was a picture.
I used to do a trick you can try on a smooth surface. Try to turn your chair in a 360 circle without touching the wheels! Use you arms and upper trunk and eventually it works... it’s great fun and keeps you trim around the waist. After you’ve achieved that change direction to even yourself out!
I was following a recent conversation started by a wheelchair user. They said they DIDN'T like to be asked if they needed help when they were just sitting in a park relaxing. Their approach was if they weren't in a chair, they probably wouldn't have been asked. I totally see their point, but as an able bodied, I could see that I would be someone that would ask that. Now, I'm questioning what my approach would be in that situation. During an event last year, I was waiting in line at a food vendor and my girlfriend was waiting for me, and was asked several times if she was "ok", or if she needed help. She wasn't offended, but after several times I could see it would get annoying. Just like all your questions, everyone is different! Unique topic!
I really don't like when people ask if I need help because most of the time I don't and if I do I'll fall down the first person I see and ask bc I'm not shy about it like at all. When I first started using my mobility scooter it was more because I wanted no one to know that I had to use the thing but now when I'm using it if I need help I'll tell you Also usually the people that ask don't take no for an answer like gah
I am not disabled well if you don’t count chronic pain but I’m not disabled but my brother is and you have helped me a lot to know what to say when someone asks something that makes me uncomfortable (my brother is nonverbal) so thank you so much! Keep doing you girl! And keep educating people about the disabled community! Love you girl!
Oh by the way! I got some pneumatic tires lately! It’s awesome! I’m working on editing a video of me putting them in place! They’re so awesome! I’m so happy I made the upgrade!!
I love when kids ask or even yell and point because it's healthy for them to ask because I'd rather them learn than they grow up ignorant and possibly ableist, right 😅 also, it dignifies me to be able to show child how I'm different and allowed to be here. yup the parents freak out and I am more uncomfortable about the parents reaction than I am kids being kids. Also, when parents do not let me speak to them or their children it makes me, personally, feel like they don't want me there. Like I'm not a person just like them. Also dogs! Lots of times dogs, especially those who have survived abuse, get scared or aggressive with wheelchairs and I'm always gentle when I see any dog. I'll get the handler's attention, if it's clearly not a service dog, and ask them if they will let the dog sniff me while I sit there quietly. Often the handler/trainer/owner is happy to do it unless the dog is showing signs of stress, which is unfortunate cuz that poor pup may not be able to handle anything with wheels in the future
Being asked if I need help or people offering to help or hold doors is fine as long as people respect the answer if I say no or that I’m ok and don’t just push a door and hold it open if I’m leaning on it because that’s the best way to send me flying. I don’t mind people asking about my mobility aids but I have anxiety and I’m kind of socially awkward and often don’t know how to answer questions about my disabilities
I don't mind someone asking me if I need help, as long as 1) it's not for something ridiculously obvious I don't need help with (like getting my wallet out) and 2) that they respect 'no' as an answer. My biggest pet peeve is that 90% of the time if I say no it's all 'are you sure?' 'let me take this' *does thing anyway*. That makes me feel very upset.
I don’t at all mind being politely asked to move. That’s way better than you climbing over me or trying to awkwardly climb behind me while getting too close to me as a stranger. If I can move out of your way, and you are nice about it, I don’t at all mind moving out of your way. I also don’t mind being asked if I would like some help. More and more at the grocery store, I’ve noticed that people DO ask in really respectful ways if I would like them to reach something for me. Often half the things I want to get are out of my reach, so I don’t mind this at all. As long as you aren’t weird about it (like not taking no for an answer or following me around waiting for me to need help) I really appreciate being asked, it helps me get done faster. I don’t mind being asked how something about my wheelchair or my lift van works, but I DO mind being asked anything I would only talk about with my doctor or person I am close to. I’m a little funny about people asking how much something costs or how I obtained such and such medical equipment because I’ve had strangers treat me like their tax dollars paid for that. First of all, a person’s worth is not based on if or how much they have worked. I also have worked and volunteered my time. And if you yourself ever become disabled, you will probably need help obtaining expensive medical equipment that is outrageously priced, unless you happen to be rich. So don’t go there with me if you see me out and about minding my own business (takes deep breath). But no I don’t mind quickly answering how some piece of equipment works, especially if u have a legitimate reason for needing to know, like u are about to get a similar piece of equipment. I DO mind being asked if I can perform tricks in my chair, like someone else said, I’m not a performing monkey (and neither is someone’s service dog). Just remember what u may or may not like to be asked and you should be good. As far as doors go, I’ve known how to open doors for myself from my wheelchair since I was a small child. So if I’m letting you open a door for me, that’s what I’m doing. I’m accepting and being polite about the “help” that you are offering. So maybe don’t bring up the rolling over your toes thing, that all wheelchair users have heard a kabillion times. If you are not standing in the doorway (where I’m supposed to roll) it’s not likely that I’m going to roll over your toes. Just sayin.
heheh like the last bit of this comment. yes I agree with you. I don't like being asked how much things cost, and if I got "help" or "benefit" getting it. Thats so rude and personal. (unless I know the person and they are asking for a good reason, like a family member needed advice..)
I get questions about my chair quite often, but this is just because it looks like the rainbow itself, colorful as can be, so no wonder people react like this and i really like it. I am very proud of Miguel, that's it's name, yeah, awkward, but I really like it!
I was in Walmart and this kid was staring at me and his mom or older sister noticed like covered his face with her hand like his eyes and nose. I had smiled back at him I wish he could have just been a loud to ask his question/s as I'm in a wheelchair and have a Service dog and he is a small dog all of things that people don't see every day I felt bad like I was something that shouldn't be looked at
Oh my god yes. I’ve had so many people just push over me instead of just saying excuse me. It makes me feel sub human because it’s like I’m invisible to them. I had it once in a very busy super market. Person after person just pushing past, not saying excuse me, not saying sorry for bashing against my chair... I felt so upset that day because of it. Just say excuse me!
Those first two, I would MUCH rather be asked to move, or if I need help, than to have someone push me out of their way, or to assume I'm incapable of doing a certain thing simply because I'm in a wheelchair.
I have two disable grandparents. They love when I help, it’s just knowing when to help and when not too. I’ve had to have men help push my great aunt through mud, and it sucks but you have to do what you gotta do. My grandpa is paralyzed and he admits when he needs help. I suppose it would be different if you were alone, but with family my family members don’t mind me asking. Funny/weird story, my grandpa had to get his leg amputated and my mom forgot to tell me so when I saw him at Christmas I just stopped dead and was so confused I didn’t even know what to say so I stood there dumbfounded for a minute. My grandpa is a hippie and loves to make inappropriate jokes so I made one about him forgetting his leg and he loved it lol.
Yes! Please keep asking me if I need help! There’s a HUGE chance I really do need your help and I’ll be so grateful. Ask me whatever you like if it’s not ok I’ll let you know I’m uncomfortable- I love my new chair my new chair has inspired me like crazy so yes I want to tell you all about it and show off my super awesome chair that I’ve managed to adapt it and will keep working on it. Kids and parents you can look! It’s ok! Come and ask me what’s up and I’ll answer your questions. I absolutely HATE being asked where I got me “hover seat” please try and look past toys with wheels and see a mobility aid that has been around since BC! My wheelchair is NOT some cool new form of skateboard or Segway, my wheelchair is not something you have for fun (you hear that, McDonalds lady who tried taking my crutches for your EK and then got him a set for a toy a week later, an seemed to think it acceptable to gawk at me while I ate, yes I have a chair, yes I’m sitting on a regular seat, yes I’m eating. What do you want from me and why won’t you all quit staring even when I politely ask if everything is ok that you then start screaming at me for a reason I honestly couldn’t work out other than your kid wants my stuff)
I also feel like parents need to educate children about wheelchair and mobility access. I personally have an experience where a little girl asked her mother “what happened to her? Why she is in a wheelchair?” And what the mother answered the question was made me heartbroken. She said “if you don’t drive well you gonna end up like her” like how? Rather than asking me about what happened to me that mother made up a story to that little girl about something that never happened to me? I would be really happy if people come upfront and ask me questions about my wheelchair rather than making this whole story.
2:05 This I'd like to add to. I don't mind being asked that question at all, as long as people ask for the right reason. If someone wants to ask out of pity, then I'd rather they didn't. Also, if someone reacts badly to you helping them, it's not necessarily because of you. 5:46 What's a 360 wheelie? 5:57 Ain't it the truth, and I so agree with you!
Yup, when someone opens the door for me, i just say i love these automatic doors ! Thanks. As to me being in the way, i try to be observant and prevent that situation arrising. Other wise, i dont mind folks asking. As to kids asking, i love it when they ask questions. Also fun to watch the horrified looks on the parents faces. And yes, folks at times do notice my chair looks differant and will ask. Again, fun to explain what i have and why.
Great! I have noticed several times that people asked my son or who ever was with me:"Can SHE understand?" Hey!el can hear and l can listen to what others say! I do understand perfectly what theyesay and they can ASK ME!!! And if l don't want one to push me cause my chair is electrified at the wheels and it's quite easy to drive with, they don't ask: Why not? They're miffed! I'd like to explain that l can do it on my own and l love to show my electricity but l don't have any chance: they moan loud or half - loud and go away! That's abeolutely wrong! 2 weeks ago my doc saw my chair first time with electricity and the lights at the motor in the middle of th wheels. He came down on his knees and asked: " Hey, may l ask you s.th.about this cool chair?" I was so happy cause l'm proud of it and l fighted for so long to get a yes from my health insurance for it! Yeah! I felt great talking abowt it! When the nurse came in doceshowed her what he learned and she wasn't sure if she should take a look. I pleased her to do and then she said:"WOW! I didn't know this is possible!" It was a lovely moment and l was as happy as they were! My doc is ab 6ft6 and whel he was on his knees he was eye to eye with me! Fantastic! And: he asked if he should help or not when l had to leave my chair for laying on the examination divan/coach(what's the best word for it, please?).Then he pushed the chir where it didn't disturb and later on back to me. What a lovely day l had! Eaven though l had to see the doc it was a real great day! Be blessed, Gem!
Also, if you help me when I don't ask--or worse if I say no--you are probably doing it in a way that isn't helpful. I can't drive anymore, but when I did people would help me put groceries in the trunk (boot) of my car. Here's the thing: I can't carry much in, so I put it in the trunk in such a way that only the stuff that is frozen or refrigerated can be carried in as soon as I get home, and the other stuff can wait in the car until I have help. If the stuff that's frozen/refrigerated is in the back, I have to get the other stuff and that's a problem. But people get really angry if I ask them to stop "helping."
Every time people hold doors for me it's like I get their intention but the results usually wind up with me running into a door or being blocked from the actually accessible door bc people really don't realize my mobility scooter isn't gonna go up a step
I'm number 1! I'm number 1! Know what I don't mind being asked? Hey Andy, are you number 1? And I'm like um... on Gem's comments I am, and does anything else really matter?!? Lol... Anyhow, can't wait to dive into this one, Gem!!!
I agree with the way parents/guardians react to their child's inquisitiveness can be so discouraging. On a different note though, when the parent/guardian conditions the child to think anyone with any kind of disability "got hurt" and the child uses that phrase as a form of the "why" question bothers me MORE than having them try to hurry the child along by me. That is such a cop out statement and CLEARLY shows the ignorance of said parent/guardian not being aware that you can't just make a blanket statement like that! I was at work waiting for my paratransit vehicle to pick me up to go home when this LEGIT happened to me and I just clammed up instead of sticking up for myself and correcting the misinformation provided to the child by the guardian they were with at the time. I felt so defeated in that moment. #IgnoranceISBlissIGuess 😑
i agree with all of these except, personally for me, i hate when people ask "can you do any tricks?" aka "can you do some tricks for me?". for me, i'm not there for entertainment i'm just trying to get from A to B and get on with life lol.
I had a little kid ask me not long ago ‘why are you in a wheelchair’? I said because my legs don’t work properly. Most kids leave it at that but this kid really boldly said ‘show me!’. I laughed and said I can’t. His mother apologised and said I’m sorry he can be really direct. But honestly, I thought it was sweet. I’d much rather kids ask questions.
I love it when kids ask questions and want to have a look at my wheelchair. If the child asks their parent a question about me and I am close by, I usually just answer the question. But I am curious, has it happened to anybody that a child comes up to you and asks you to try out sitting in your chair or asks to push you? How did you react?
It’s so annoying when people do that, when they try to squeeze through you, and almost tipping your chair over and then they’re like -“oups! Just trying to get through.” And then they’ve that nervous smile XD instead of asking if you could just move a little
I didn't put handles on my Tilite due to the fact that humans have snuck up behind me and pushed without asking. Hetero men love to do this and it's scary. So I don't have handles. But my husband is too tall to push me anyway because he'd have to bend in half and he's vulnerable to injuries that way. Occasionally, he'll shove my back (I have a low back TiLite Aero Z) so he's literally pushing my back and it's effective and gets me over the middle of a road or a steep ramp. Also, people get indignant when I refuse help politely. Sometimes in a market I'll have already loaded the conveyor at checkout and someone will offer to help. But I've already done the hard part lol.
The one about questions kids ask is funny. I’ve always been quite overweight and I’ve had kids say things like “Mommy, he’s FAT!” The parents are embarrassed but I think it’s pretty funny.
I use wheelchairs for long walks at the malls. And I use walker. But I'm upset with the new CADI WAVER Case worker told me that she wants me in a group home and I told her I'm not a mental retareded person which is what she thinks I'm am. IQ is 95%above average intelligence smarts woman who has a specific mild learning disorder. NVLD and traumatic brain 🧠 injuries from car accidents and written expression disorder and dyslexia and math harder math. Spinal bruised cord, 4 fractured vertebrae that are not healed yet and that from I-35W bridge collapse surviver to get a full time jobs working from home as medical coding and Billing medical records clerks classes in the future. My CADI worker I did have I won't be able to keep him.
I would be afraid to ask someone to help me pick up my Purse. Because they might take off with it. That is why I never carry it on my lap. I always wear a Crossbody Bag.
I always ask people about their wheelchair....but that’s because a lot of the time I have wheelchair envy 😂😁 (upgrade well over due) and I’m looking at how their chair makes life easier ....like your genius pink wheel grips 👌🏻 Great post Gem, im with you on opening doors, helping going up slopes and just asking and respecting our answers🤗
I don't mind someone every once in a while venturing to ask me if I need a hand with something that I look like I might be struggling with (doing non-automatic doors that open towards me in a standard manual chair isn't the easiest thing in the world, but I can also vouch for my fair share of people standing in the doorway while holding a door for me and me having to squeeze through very carefully to avoid running over their toes). However, when I have 5 different people within 2 minutes ask me if I need help and I'm literally just looking around, it gets to be a bit infuriating and I have to force myself to smile and give the same polite answer I give almost every time anyone asks (I resorted to telling one of them that if I needed help, I would ask; only one person there ever asked me again). Being short of stature, I was already used to having to occasionally ask for help to reach things on the top shelves, so I have no reservations about asking for help with that sort of thing now. The most ridiculous thing I was ever asked if I needed help with was "getting down the ramp" - a shallow (maybe 1% grade??), very wide one; I loudly groaned inwardly and mentally rolled my eyes, but just responded with a smile and a polite, "I'm good, thanks." I think I was only ever asked once if I could do a wheelie, and it was by one of my cousins - I had just recently mastered it (and it was fun), so I was happy to show it off. If it was just anyone, though, I would be really unamused. Honestly, I like it when people talk to me like they would anyone else - I have interests, passions, dreams, and goals, just like anyone else, so I like it when people basically ignore the fact that I'm in a wheelchair and talk to me like they would anyone else. And like you, Gem, I may have to use a wheelchair, but I can still ride a horse just fine.
Piece of advice from a part time wheelie - I know it sounds really complicated and scary, but it actually boils down to a very simple principle: if you choose to talk to the person, just talk to him/her like you would anyone else. I wholeheartedly appreciate that my classmates treat and talk to me the same whether I'm up on my own two feet doing barn chores and riding my horse, or I'm using my wheelchair to get around the rest of campus - only one ever ventured to actually ask me anything about it (which I took no offense at, because she was genuinely curious as to why she sometimes saw me in it and sometimes not), and they all basically ignore the fact that it's there (other than, when the situation arises, moving a chair out of the way so I can pull up to the table to join them). The same advice goes for talking to someone with a service dog - ignore the dog, and, if you choose to do engage the handler in conversation, talk to him/her the same as you would anyone else. Hope that helps waylay some of the anxiety.
I think sometimes people (child &adult alike) stare or ask questions (how they become disabled/why they are in a chair) about disabled people because they may be inquisitive. They may be truly interested in medical related things. I am not physically disabled but I have hidden disabilities and have other friends the same and have had friends who are in wheelchairs. As I got to know them I was intrigued by their stories they told me. I try not to state as I know it can be rude but sometimes I cannot help glancing as I think it is instinct to glance at something we do not see on a daily basis. I try to treat everyone as equal and talk to people normally looking them in the eye whoever they are. Iv often had to to tell people about myself and thankfully being a very outgoing person Iv always been happy to tell people anything, I don’t like it when people assume things and think of people with any type of disabilities are weirds, contagious, inferior etc.
Would it be acceptable to ask how they got there wheelchair (how they afforded it and such)? I would use a motorised wheelchair on a bad day if I could afford to pay for one
I dont mind being asked to move if they are polite. the last time it happened at an event the people behind us were so rude and demanded we moved as they said they couldn't see.
I went to the royal opera house before christmas and there were two of us using wheelchairs in our group, as we made our way towards the lift there was a jam, nothing to do with us, the people in front were stationary clearly couldn't move but there was a corner so I couldn't see what was going on. An idiot woman behind me was yelling at me to move, I kept taking deep breaths, telling myself I wasn't going to be rude, but she broke me. I don't remember what I said, but she had really wound me up, saying it the second I stopped, pushing into my chair, risking the ankles of the person in front of me and repeatedly saying it, it was all too much.
They are called Gripoz, they are like a silicone cover that go over the push rims. The gave been amazing. Im going to be doing a whole video review on them. The come in black and orange too. :)
I don't mind being asked to move usually even if im not in the way ill still move out the way because i know how wide my chair is so when I'm in like a isle in a shop they can be really narrow so when im in that isle a certain way even when im not in the way i like to move out the way more but that might just be the polite Canadian in me
I know I’m late but I’m in a wheelchair and me and my mum went to the beach with my dog and we stopped for some hot drinks and my dog saw a pigeon and because I was holding her leash she pulled my chair over and It was so painful and now I get really anxious when I go out because I’m scared to fall again. Do you have any advice?
KatyDraws Sorry to hear about your accident with the dog. If you are in a similar situation again get the other person to tie the dogs leash to a bench or a streetlight or a tree while you wait near to the dog. I’ve fallen out my chair loads of times. In general I followed these rules.. Make sure your chair is always in full working order. Use push mitts or gloves to avoid friction burns. Don’t use rubber wheel grips on the rims if you are an active user. They are only useful in the snow or on rough terrain but are dangerous at other times if you are going down a hill at speed on your own as you won’t have anywhere near the same control and will get severe friction burns and could fall out by stopping abruptly. Do you have anti tippers? Will stop you falling backwards. Good if you are inexperienced or anxious. Lean forward going up hills and backwards going down hill. If you are on your own don’t be scared to ask a stranger to hold a door open or give you a short push up a hill for example. Don’t have tiny castors because they are more dangerous and more likely to get caught in tiny gaps and throw you out. Tiny castors are purpose made for sports and are useful indoors for smaller turning circles but are never safe outside. Make sure your environment is free of floor clutter that could cause your chair to tip. Learn to fall out of your chair on a soft mat so you can get yourself back onto your seat on your own. Do remember that accidents will happen, just build up your confidence and learn from previous experiences. X
Oh Im the same. If someone is pushing me who is not very specially aware I get very nervous too. It sounds like you need to build up your confidence again. Keep getting out as much as possible, and I have a really good video on "how to push a manual wheelchair" which you are welcome to share with friends and family to help them understand better. I also wouldn't hold the dog again. I have a really strong Boxer dog, and Im reluctant to hold her. Do you push yourself in the chair??? If you can get yourself nice and strong that will help. And practice your wheelies, that will help you feel more confident if you can. Remember always consult a medical professional first before attempting anything new. xx
if i have shown no inclination of needing help, i also dont mind a store employee just saying “let me know if you need help!” because its not implying that i do need help, but gives me a sense of security!
I don't mind being asked if I can do tricks, i can walk a bit and do disability gymnastics and "yeah I can do a backflip" is obviously the expected answer 😂
It annoys me that some people are dicks towards people with a visible disability when they wouldnt be with someone like me who only has an invisible disability, or for that matter vice versa. For example, It may not be obvious why I'm in an accessible toilet, but I do have good reasons for doing so. Since I have Crohns Disease, there's a possibility I could soil myself if I wait for a stall in the men's toilets. Despite being a transgender woman, I still use the men's toilets since many women see us as men, and don't want us in their spaces. Frankly we can never win with some people. Fuck em.
I’m looking for some advice. I work at a clothing store in the US and we have an accessible register at customer service. The thing is I’m not always at that station. If I have a customer using a wheelchair how should I go about using that register? Last time this happened I felt really awkward and just made an effort to lean over the tall counter because the customer was already at my register. How do I not make a big deal about the person using a wheelchair but also be inclusive? I would love to hear thoughts from someone who is a customer in this situation.
To be honest as a customer, I've never really understood why stores bother with a single lower counter. Am I expected to wait longer for the lower counter to be free? Is the lower counter even always staffed? Apparently there are some post offices in the UK which are set up for all counters to be writing height for wheelchair or standing at the push of a button, but I suspect they fail on larger electric wheelchairs and very tall people. Unless I have to actually write (in the UK no one uses cheques these days, but when they did there was a pull out ledge lower down you could use) I've no need for a lower counter, unless it's stupidly high and you can't see me!
I am a paraplegic and a wheelchair user. I would just let the person know that if it's easier, you guys could head to the accessible counter. Some counters are hard for wheelchair users to use and many are probably not aware that there's an accessible counter.
@@anneharrison1849 Most counters here can be really high in the US. It depends on the store.I think they really help wheelchair users here if staffed correctly. :)
now this is probably gonna be a crazy and weirdo question, but....uhm...do you think you have a better life in kinda way, when it comes to responsibilities and stuff, like people don`t expect you to do this and that? a part of me wants to make my legs useless and get stuck to the wheelchair for the rest of my life cause then people maybe wont expect me to manage this and that, i cant explain it good enough -.-. and also getting a ride from a to b all the time if its too far to use the wheelchair sounds good. excuse my terrible comment i feel so stupid
I don't care if ppl ask questions. Kids like to touch my stump and it has a scar from knee surgeries before amputation so it looks like a bum. So i learned how to twerk it and i will draw on a thong and a tramp stamp and twerk it and make people laugh, esp kids. Then i have a shark i safety pin to my clothes where my stump is and it makes everyone laugh. If i can make ppl laugh, it's a good day. I'm like speed racer in my manual chair and in 9 years, no one has ever asked to push me. I think they're afraid they'll slow me down. 😂😂
I hope you enjoy this video.
Just a little note, these questions are based on my own experiences, and some of the experiences from other wheelchair users in the wheelsnoheels community. This does to apply to every wheelchair users, remember everyone is different. Don't forget to let me know what you don't mind being asked.
Lots of love
Gem xx
I'm not sure if you ever in your life have been called a faker? In my life, I have been called a fakeer once I started needing a wheelchair as of JUN of 2001. I have always been legally blind from birth but later in life, I started having other medical issues and symptoms, and at first, doctors would do tests but they would always come back with "everything looks "NORMAL" and yet I was struggling"? Personally, I don't always like it when someone asks me about my chair? because it feels like I am going to be judged, or that I have to repeat and try to prove that I am disabled and that I really need my chair once again? If someone asks a question about my chair I have no problem as long as they ask in a way where they really are asking because they have a family member or friend who is looking for a chair and they really are asking that way?
Child shouting from the other side of the parking lot: "Why are you using a wheelchair now when you just walked out of the car?"
Child's parent struck immobile in horror.
Me shouting back kindly and explanatory: "Because it hurts when I walk far, so I use the wheelchair when I need to go longer distances."
Child shouting contently: "Okay!"
See, it wasn't worse than that xD
I love how inquisitive kids are, you can tell they dont mean any harm by it. Nothing wrong with making them understand for the future either
I can swim a few laps in the pool but I can’t swim to Australia and need a plane. Same principle.
One time I was walking around with a friend and we saw an elderly man in a wheelchair going up a craaazzzyy steep hill, so we went over and offered to help and he was so nice and funny about it. He gave a big dramatic sigh and was like "ohh finally, you girls saved me", and when we started to push him up (one on each side because seriously the hill was ridiculous), he cheered us on with "c'mon, you're young, you can do better!" And so it ended up with us running our best up the hill, and all three of us laughing. Made our day, and I hope it made his too.
You probably made his day x
This best interaction I ever had with a kid and parent: A little girl asked her mom why I was in a wheelchair. And the mom said, "Because God..." and the little girl finished, "makes everybody different!" I don't mind answering kids' questions, but I feel like this sums up the best thing we can teach children. People are different; you don't need to know why just know that it's okay.
The only question you mentioned that I would mind being asked is if I can do any tricks. If it's a kid, I don't mind so much, but when it's older teenagers and adults, I just get a little De Niro about it: "Am I here to amuse you?"
On a recent trip into town I was in my wheelchair and had to go past some building works which made the pavement narrow. At the other end was a couple with a large mastiff puppy who was trying to hide behind them while they waited for me to come through. When I reached them the puppy kept looking at me and hiding so I stopped for them to pass through. They said the puppy had never seen a wheelchair before and if I wasn’t in a rush could she have a sniff and see it wasn’t something to be scared of. We ended up chatting for about 15 minutes and the puppy had lots of fusses from me so by the end of it she was absolutely fine with me and the wheelchair. It’s all about education and I enjoyed our chat and was in a great mood for the rest of the day. ❤
Honestly I love when kids ask me questions. It’s absolutely adorable most of the time and it’s always nice to be able to tell kids in a really funny way because I have POTS so I kind of tell them that if they’ve ever spun around a bunch and they usually say yes and I tell them how their head feels after spinning is how mine is all the time when I stand up and they’re usually absolutely fascinated by this
I have POTS too. I usually say, “When I stand up, my heart runs really Really fast and I get very tired and wobbly. I use my chair so I won’t be so wobbly and tired.” Kids are the best, they usually accept that answer and move on or talk about times they’ve been dizzy or tired. Grownups never seem to realize that I don’t want to give a 30min lecture on the autonomic nervous system and why it makes my life difficult.
I work with kids so it’s usually the younger ones that ask. I tell them in simple terms my legs don’t work. Sometimes they are concerned so I always put a positive spin on things by saying my chair goes very fast or would they like to hear the horn. They always move onto another topic pretty quickly!
Same here^^
The question I don't mind being asked is: "Pint, Chris?" 😜🍺
PageMonster Now that’s a perfect example! 👌
hahahah brilliant...
Hahah the first one made me laugh so hard. In the grocery store I’ve had people go around the ENTIRE AISLE just to get something on the other side of me 🤣
Wheels2Walking Same! Just had that in my local Tesco. People warning each other when you are MILES away. WATCH OUT FOR THE WHEELCHAIR .. as if we take up that much room! 😆
That's me but not only to wheelchair users as I have anxiety and going out is like a huge accomplishment let alone talk to someone.
@@emilybaker2314 Me too. I frequently go around a different aisle if that one is too crowded 😅
It always makes me smile when kids look at my chair and say “that looks like fun” and their parents are horrified and I mod and go “it is”
Lol I had a little girl in target comment to her mom “that girl is in a wheelie!!” “I want one!” And I would have loved to talk to her and explain but by the time I turned around to talk to her they were gone because mom had speedily ran away :/ You are Awesome!!
Yeah, most people compliment me on my chair (a sparkly hot pink one), but I remember this one time, a little girl told me she liked my chair and I heard her mom chastise her a bit later for it ☹️. The kicker is that when the girl complimented me, I even said, "Thanks! I like your glasses!" Shouldn't that be an indicator that I like to get compliments on the chair (if the fact that I put my personality in it wasn't a big enough of it)?
Sophia Tiny Kitten Human You have some awesome stories, I love that one!
I’m not a wheelchair user but I do have a disability and recently got a service dog so it’s a lot more vissable than it used to be. I agree that I don’t mind when children ask me questions and think that educating them in many ways is way easier than educating adults.
Love this!! And we'll done to Hubby for letting you run his toes over 🤣🤣
thank you. He's a good sport. ;)
Asking someone to move out of the way is just awkward, even with no wheel chair. I’m not sure why though.
I know this may not be exactly the question that you would expect in this video. I use a power chair and it is important that when parents have their children ask questions that they inform their children that disabled people may not want to be asked about their disability for many reasons but if the disabled person wants to tell you they will.
I have had people say the following statements to me and it depends on who and how they may say these to me that can be demining.
"Nice Wheelchair I wish that I had one of those so I can cruise around in it".
The answer that people who say this is, Try to carry a heavy kitchen char without any wheels and carry it everywhere you have to go. You are not allowed to use the stairs and you have to go everywhere a wheelchair has to go.
Another statement I have been asked is, "Don't Hit Me"! or "Do you have a license to drive that thing". "If you are legally blind how can you drive that thing around".
These statements can be very DEMEANING to someone like myself in a wheelchair. I understand that some people are just curious but depending on what that person has gone through you being innocent it can be triggering to the disabled person. Someone may truly be wanting to know because they really do have a legit question about themselves and or a family or friend.
Btw, that second question is so true! Sometimes I feel one way, another time may be the opposite, depending on a million things like mood or pain (like you mentioned) so I totes agree!
When I don't want to be pushed, I say I like being in control of my own destiny.
Thank you for the video. I started following you when I started to get interested in air travel with my scooter. I appreciate all your videos.
The tricks question really irritates me. I'm not a performing monkey. I love the kids saying stuff. It's the adults I have a problem.
I love when people ask about my chair, especially kids, it gives me an excuse to show off my lights and my pathetic piddly horn! It’s far better than the nosey intrusive “what’s wrong with you?” I also like when people ask if I need help for two reasons, sometimes I actually need help being the first, but the second and most important reason that it gives me the choice as to whether I need help or not, instead of people forcing “help” on me! The doors thing is so accurate, I’m always grateful for a door being opened, but it can be a nightmare when they don’t realise that they are blocking the door that they have opened for you!! On the asking about the wheelchair point, I will tell you what happened in the Drs waiting room 2 days ago. A woman I’ve never met before sat down next to me and said “I love your chair” So I thanked her, to which she went on to say that she wants to hire one like it for after an operation she will be having. All fine and dandy, as she goes on to ask me about tilt and then the lights and “do I run about all night outside partying and playing with them? The conversation starts getting uncomfortable feeling, and she goes on to ask about my specialist seating and tells me that I must be “so comfy all the time”. I’m trying to be nice, understanding that she is getting ready for surgery. She then starts saying that she might be as well buying a chair like mine ( large mid wheel power chair with tilt and custom seating and headrest) as she will be in recovery for 6 weeks after the surgery. I’m thinking this must be heavy surgery that she needs a powerchair for? Then she announces that she is having a single bunion operation?!?!?! I try and tell her that there are cheaper and more suitable options for bunion recovery than a powerchair! Had she considered crutches or a cheap or second hand self propelling chair? But no she wanted a chair like mine! 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ So that is the only time I wish I hadnt been asked about my chair!
The Real Mythril goodness! Wow nobody wants to be on a wheelchair I don’t think she has any idea how much goes into getting around and stuff in a chair!
Sophia Tiny Kitten Human I know right! It was clear she had no idea. I think she had this idea that it would teleport into her 4x4 ( yes that was in the weird conversation too) and teleport over her doorsteps. I don’t have a clue how she thought she would charge it! She even said she would just “bum up the steps” at her door and inside her house!
Get an add on horn!
I have a pair of Mini Hornets. Child’s bike light with additional button and around 25 sounds. From Amazon UK.
The horn is the best bit.
Bump up the steps?! Are you #^{* kidding me? This woman is disabled it sounds like.... In the brain and In the common sense... there are far to many people who don’t have Intellectual disabilities... but are just plain stupid! That sounds like this woman!
☀️ Ｓｕｎｎｙ Ｄａｙｓ ☀️ thank you, you’ve got me looking at an area that I didn’t know existed, and now I’m assessing how loud can it be, before I would get thrown out of shops for using it!
I find older people are super chill when it comes to asking questions. I’ve found myself being so independent that I deny help even if I really do need it. I get people asking me if I’ve gotten a new chair since the last time they saw me which is funny.
Doing wheelies and tricks in general are the funniest things ever! You should try wheeling off curbs it’s pretty scary.
It’s been awhile Gem👋🏼
Im the same way I like my independence that if I'm in public shopping or what not and people come up to me and ask if i need help will kindly just say no im just looking then their answer that just drives me crazy is oh ok ill just bye over there if you need help i think to myself yea ok no you won't. when growing up with Spina Bifida i was always taught to be as independent as possible and if you can't get something figure out how to get it and then if you still can't get it then ask for help same as if there's an automatic door button i will have my hand on it about to push it and someone will come and open it from experience going through doors that way usually ends up with squashed toes i know people are just being nice but i wish that when you know theres a automatic door and see someone in a wheelchair come to the door just stay back because the wheelchair is wider then you think it is
I really don’t like the ‘do you do tricks?’ question.
If you asked an able-bodied female ‘do you do tricks?’ you’d probably get slapped. 😳
billieblue Sheepie If you get annoyed just reply “Yes I can run over your toes if you like?”
Here in the UK humour often has a slightly sarcastic undertone! Lol 😂
hahahah so true. Could you imagine if I just asked a random, person that on a train. ;)
Hehe idk, I carry a rubix cube and/or puzzle boxes as a way to cope with my anxiety in certain situations and often get asked to "perform". Not quite the same as a wheelchair obvs as it's a more optional i^//5×e, dtç
I'd thoroughly expect someone asking that to be able to pull out juggling balls and perform tricks for me,
Omg, now I want to answer with, "I'm not a hooker, honey!"
Often to warn people to watch their toes i say, "ya gotta watch your toes because i didn't bring my 'toe truck'."
That seems to lighten their mood bring some humor to the situation.
Rather than, “Can I help?” I sometimes say, “Can I offer some assistance?” In situations where it seems like the person really could use assistance but is reluctant to ask, I hope that by using terms that are maybe a little less loaded I can make space for the request without implying they are literally helpless. And I try not to say “give assistance” because it’s not a gift, it’s just common courtesy.
I love that so much.
It's so true about being asked to move.. Haha.. Ive had a few people practically pole volt over me or around me..I'm like just asked.. Lol Funny to see though.. I totally agree with being asked about my wheelchair.. I have light on my wheels.. People usually asked about them and can make people feel less awkward about starting a conversation with me.. Also kids are funny.. I once had a kid about age 3/4 asked there parent why I still needed a pram when they weren't allowed there's anymore.. The parents face was a picture.
hahahah
I used to do a trick you can try on a smooth surface. Try to turn your chair in a 360 circle without touching the wheels! Use you arms and upper trunk and eventually it works... it’s great fun and keeps you trim around the waist. After you’ve achieved that change direction to even yourself out!
I was following a recent conversation started by a wheelchair user. They said they DIDN'T like to be asked if they needed help when they were just sitting in a park relaxing. Their approach was if they weren't in a chair, they probably wouldn't have been asked. I totally see their point, but as an able bodied, I could see that I would be someone that would ask that. Now, I'm questioning what my approach would be in that situation. During an event last year, I was waiting in line at a food vendor and my girlfriend was waiting for me, and was asked several times if she was "ok", or if she needed help. She wasn't offended, but after several times I could see it would get annoying. Just like all your questions, everyone is different! Unique topic!
I really don't like when people ask if I need help because most of the time I don't and if I do I'll fall down the first person I see and ask bc I'm not shy about it like at all. When I first started using my mobility scooter it was more because I wanted no one to know that I had to use the thing but now when I'm using it if I need help I'll tell you
Also usually the people that ask don't take no for an answer like gah
I am not disabled well if you don’t count chronic pain but I’m not disabled but my brother is and you have helped me a lot to know what to say when someone asks something that makes me uncomfortable (my brother is nonverbal) so thank you so much! Keep doing you girl! And keep educating people about the disabled community! Love you girl!
Oh by the way! I got some pneumatic tires lately! It’s awesome! I’m working on editing a video of me putting them in place! They’re so awesome! I’m so happy I made the upgrade!!
I love when kids ask or even yell and point because it's healthy for them to ask because I'd rather them learn than they grow up ignorant and possibly ableist, right 😅 also, it dignifies me to be able to show child how I'm different and allowed to be here.
yup the parents freak out and I am more uncomfortable about the parents reaction than I am kids being kids. Also, when parents do not let me speak to them or their children it makes me, personally, feel like they don't want me there. Like I'm not a person just like them.
Also dogs! Lots of times dogs, especially those who have survived abuse, get scared or aggressive with wheelchairs and I'm always gentle when I see any dog. I'll get the handler's attention, if it's clearly not a service dog, and ask them if they will let the dog sniff me while I sit there quietly. Often the handler/trainer/owner is happy to do it unless the dog is showing signs of stress, which is unfortunate cuz that poor pup may not be able to handle anything with wheels in the future
Being asked if I need help or people offering to help or hold doors is fine as long as people respect the answer if I say no or that I’m ok and don’t just push a door and hold it open if I’m leaning on it because that’s the best way to send me flying. I don’t mind people asking about my mobility aids but I have anxiety and I’m kind of socially awkward and often don’t know how to answer questions about my disabilities
It happens to me from time to time that some ppl are complimenting on my wheelchair. This totally makes my day.😁🍀❤
I don't mind someone asking me if I need help, as long as 1) it's not for something ridiculously obvious I don't need help with (like getting my wallet out) and 2) that they respect 'no' as an answer. My biggest pet peeve is that 90% of the time if I say no it's all 'are you sure?' 'let me take this' *does thing anyway*. That makes me feel very upset.
I don’t at all mind being politely asked to move. That’s way better than you climbing over me or trying to awkwardly climb behind me while getting too close to me as a stranger. If I can move out of your way, and you are nice about it, I don’t at all mind moving out of your way. I also don’t mind being asked if I would like some help. More and more at the grocery store, I’ve noticed that people DO ask in really respectful ways if I would like them to reach something for me. Often half the things I want to get are out of my reach, so I don’t mind this at all. As long as you aren’t weird about it (like not taking no for an answer or following me around waiting for me to need help) I really appreciate being asked, it helps me get done faster. I don’t mind being asked how something about my wheelchair or my lift van works, but I DO mind being asked anything I would only talk about with my doctor or person I am close to. I’m a little funny about people asking how much something costs or how I obtained such and such medical equipment because I’ve had strangers treat me like their tax dollars paid for that. First of all, a person’s worth is not based on if or how much they have worked. I also have worked and volunteered my time. And if you yourself ever become disabled, you will probably need help obtaining expensive medical equipment that is outrageously priced, unless you happen to be rich. So don’t go there with me if you see me out and about minding my own business (takes deep breath). But no I don’t mind quickly answering how some piece of equipment works, especially if u have a legitimate reason for needing to know, like u are about to get a similar piece of equipment. I DO mind being asked if I can perform tricks in my chair, like someone else said, I’m not a performing monkey (and neither is someone’s service dog). Just remember what u may or may not like to be asked and you should be good. As far as doors go, I’ve known how to open doors for myself from my wheelchair since I was a small child. So if I’m letting you open a door for me, that’s what I’m doing. I’m accepting and being polite about the “help” that you are offering. So maybe don’t bring up the rolling over your toes thing, that all wheelchair users have heard a kabillion times. If you are not standing in the doorway (where I’m supposed to roll) it’s not likely that I’m going to roll over your toes. Just sayin.
heheh like the last bit of this comment.
yes I agree with you. I don't like being asked how much things cost, and if I got "help" or "benefit" getting it. Thats so rude and personal. (unless I know the person and they are asking for a good reason, like a family member needed advice..)
I have learned SO MUCH from your videos...just wanted to say thanks once again! ♥
I get questions about my chair quite often, but this is just because it looks like the rainbow itself, colorful as can be, so no wonder people react like this and i really like it. I am very proud of Miguel, that's it's name, yeah, awkward, but I really like it!
I was in Walmart and this kid was staring at me and his mom or older sister noticed like covered his face with her hand like his eyes and nose. I had smiled back at him I wish he could have just been a loud to ask his question/s as I'm in a wheelchair and have a Service dog and he is a small dog all of things that people don't see every day I felt bad like I was something that shouldn't be looked at
Oh my god yes. I’ve had so many people just push over me instead of just saying excuse me. It makes me feel sub human because it’s like I’m invisible to them.
I had it once in a very busy super market. Person after person just pushing past, not saying excuse me, not saying sorry for bashing against my chair... I felt so upset that day because of it. Just say excuse me!
Those first two, I would MUCH rather be asked to move, or if I need help, than to have someone push me out of their way, or to assume I'm incapable of doing a certain thing simply because I'm in a wheelchair.
I have two disable grandparents. They love when I help, it’s just knowing when to help and when not too. I’ve had to have men help push my great aunt through mud, and it sucks but you have to do what you gotta do. My grandpa is paralyzed and he admits when he needs help. I suppose it would be different if you were alone, but with family my family members don’t mind me asking. Funny/weird story, my grandpa had to get his leg amputated and my mom forgot to tell me so when I saw him at Christmas I just stopped dead and was so confused I didn’t even know what to say so I stood there dumbfounded for a minute. My grandpa is a hippie and loves to make inappropriate jokes so I made one about him forgetting his leg and he loved it lol.
Thankyou for all your helps. Being New to this wheelchair things you really help!💗
Yes! Please keep asking me if I need help! There’s a HUGE chance I really do need your help and I’ll be so grateful. Ask me whatever you like if it’s not ok I’ll let you know I’m uncomfortable- I love my new chair my new chair has inspired me like crazy so yes I want to tell you all about it and show off my super awesome chair that I’ve managed to adapt it and will keep working on it. Kids and parents you can look! It’s ok! Come and ask me what’s up and I’ll answer your questions. I absolutely HATE being asked where I got me “hover seat” please try and look past toys with wheels and see a mobility aid that has been around since BC! My wheelchair is NOT some cool new form of skateboard or Segway, my wheelchair is not something you have for fun (you hear that, McDonalds lady who tried taking my crutches for your EK and then got him a set for a toy a week later, an seemed to think it acceptable to gawk at me while I ate, yes I have a chair, yes I’m sitting on a regular seat, yes I’m eating. What do you want from me and why won’t you all quit staring even when I politely ask if everything is ok that you then start screaming at me for a reason I honestly couldn’t work out other than your kid wants my stuff)
I also feel like parents need to educate children about wheelchair and mobility access. I personally have an experience where a little girl asked her mother “what happened to her? Why she is in a wheelchair?” And what the mother answered the question was made me heartbroken. She said “if you don’t drive well you gonna end up like her” like how? Rather than asking me about what happened to me that mother made up a story to that little girl about something that never happened to me? I would be really happy if people come upfront and ask me questions about my wheelchair rather than making this whole story.
2:05 This I'd like to add to. I don't mind being asked that question at all, as long as people ask for the right reason. If someone wants to ask out of pity, then I'd rather they didn't. Also, if someone reacts badly to you helping them, it's not necessarily because of you.
5:46 What's a 360 wheelie?
5:57 Ain't it the truth, and I so agree with you!
360 wheelie, is when you wheel up onto your back wheels and do a complete 360 circle! xx
Yup, when someone opens the door for me, i just say i love these automatic doors ! Thanks. As to me being in the way, i try to be observant and prevent that situation arrising. Other wise, i dont mind folks asking. As to kids asking, i love it when they ask questions. Also fun to watch the horrified looks on the parents faces. And yes, folks at times do notice my chair looks differant and will ask. Again, fun to explain what i have and why.
I hate when people ask me to do tricks cuz its kids at school and they dont care about me, they just want me to entertain them for a few minutes.
Great! I have noticed several times that people asked my son or who ever was with me:"Can SHE understand?" Hey!el can hear and l can listen to what others say! I do understand perfectly what theyesay and they can ASK ME!!!
And if l don't want one to push me cause my chair is electrified at the wheels and it's quite easy to drive with, they don't ask: Why not? They're miffed! I'd like to explain that l can do it on my own and l love to show my electricity but l don't have any chance: they moan loud or half - loud and go away! That's abeolutely wrong!
2 weeks ago my doc saw my chair first time with electricity and the lights at the motor in the middle of th wheels. He came down on his knees and asked: " Hey, may l ask you s.th.about this cool chair?" I was so happy cause l'm proud of it and l fighted for so long to get a yes from my health insurance for it! Yeah! I felt great talking abowt it! When the nurse came in doceshowed her what he learned and she wasn't sure if she should take a look. I pleased her to do and then she said:"WOW! I didn't know this is possible!" It was a lovely moment and l was as happy as they were! My doc is ab 6ft6 and whel he was on his knees he was eye to eye with me! Fantastic! And: he asked if he should help or not when l had to leave my chair for laying on the examination divan/coach(what's the best word for it, please?).Then he pushed the chir where it didn't disturb and later on back to me. What a lovely day l had! Eaven though l had to see the doc it was a real great day! Be blessed, Gem!
Also, if you help me when I don't ask--or worse if I say no--you are probably doing it in a way that isn't helpful.
I can't drive anymore, but when I did people would help me put groceries in the trunk (boot) of my car. Here's the thing: I can't carry much in, so I put it in the trunk in such a way that only the stuff that is frozen or refrigerated can be carried in as soon as I get home, and the other stuff can wait in the car until I have help. If the stuff that's frozen/refrigerated is in the back, I have to get the other stuff and that's a problem. But people get really angry if I ask them to stop "helping."
My own is when people ask if I can move or say excuse me then just grab my chair to move me,????? Ahhh please don’t do that
Every time people hold doors for me it's like I get their intention but the results usually wind up with me running into a door or being blocked from the actually accessible door bc people really don't realize my mobility scooter isn't gonna go up a step
I'm number 1! I'm number 1! Know what I don't mind being asked? Hey Andy, are you number 1? And I'm like um... on Gem's comments I am, and does anything else really matter?!? Lol... Anyhow, can't wait to dive into this one, Gem!!!
Awwww yay my number one :)
Someone noticed that for a while that the caster wheels I change each week when I was young people thought it was cool that they can be customised
This is such a cool video! Its so absolutely positive +
Whenever there’s a sensitive question mainly over text this is I say to people that it’s okay to say your not comfortable answering
I agree with the way parents/guardians react to their child's inquisitiveness can be so discouraging. On a different note though, when the parent/guardian conditions the child to think anyone with any kind of disability "got hurt" and the child uses that phrase as a form of the "why" question bothers me MORE than having them try to hurry the child along by me. That is such a cop out statement and CLEARLY shows the ignorance of said parent/guardian not being aware that you can't just make a blanket statement like that! I was at work waiting for my paratransit vehicle to pick me up to go home when this LEGIT happened to me and I just clammed up instead of sticking up for myself and correcting the misinformation provided to the child by the guardian they were with at the time. I felt so defeated in that moment. #IgnoranceISBlissIGuess 😑
i agree with all of these except, personally for me, i hate when people ask "can you do any tricks?" aka "can you do some tricks for me?". for me, i'm not there for entertainment i'm just trying to get from A to B and get on with life lol.
I had a little kid ask me not long ago ‘why are you in a wheelchair’? I said because my legs don’t work properly. Most kids leave it at that but this kid really boldly said ‘show me!’. I laughed and said I can’t. His mother apologised and said I’m sorry he can be really direct. But honestly, I thought it was sweet. I’d much rather kids ask questions.
You just got yourself a subscriber! I'm a paraplegic, and I agree with you 100%!
Where do you get your wheelchair?
I thought we were headed for X-Rated territory when Shaun straddled you! 😱😈
I love it when kids ask questions and want to have a look at my wheelchair. If the child asks their parent a question about me and I am close by, I usually just answer the question.
But I am curious, has it happened to anybody that a child comes up to you and asks you to try out sitting in your chair or asks to push you? How did you react?
It’s so annoying when people do that, when they try to squeeze through you, and almost tipping your chair over and then they’re like -“oups! Just trying to get through.” And then they’ve that nervous smile XD instead of asking if you could just move a little
I didn't put handles on my Tilite due to the fact that humans have snuck up behind me and pushed without asking. Hetero men love to do this and it's scary. So I don't have handles. But my husband is too tall to push me anyway because he'd have to bend in half and he's vulnerable to injuries that way. Occasionally, he'll shove my back (I have a low back TiLite Aero Z) so he's literally pushing my back and it's effective and gets me over the middle of a road or a steep ramp.
Also, people get indignant when I refuse help politely. Sometimes in a market I'll have already loaded the conveyor at checkout and someone will offer to help. But I've already done the hard part lol.
The one about questions kids ask is funny. I’ve always been quite overweight and I’ve had kids say things like “Mommy, he’s FAT!”
The parents are embarrassed but I think it’s pretty funny.
I use wheelchairs for long walks at the malls. And I use walker. But I'm upset with the new CADI WAVER Case worker told me that she wants me in a group home and I told her I'm not a mental retareded person which is what she thinks I'm am. IQ is 95%above average intelligence smarts woman who has a specific mild learning disorder. NVLD and traumatic brain 🧠 injuries from car accidents and written expression disorder and dyslexia and math harder math. Spinal bruised cord, 4 fractured vertebrae that are not healed yet and that from I-35W bridge collapse surviver to get a full time jobs working from home as medical coding and Billing medical records clerks classes in the future. My CADI worker I did have I won't be able to keep him.
I would be afraid to ask someone to help me pick up my Purse. Because they might take off with it. That is why I never carry it on my lap. I always wear a Crossbody Bag.
if I drop something. I always want help 😂 I hate picking up stuff from the ground
I always ask people about their wheelchair....but that’s because a lot of the time I have wheelchair envy 😂😁 (upgrade well over due) and I’m looking at how their chair makes life easier ....like your genius pink wheel grips 👌🏻 Great post Gem, im with you on opening doors, helping going up slopes and just asking and respecting our answers🤗
I cannot believe it. That lady pink-treaded my foot 😭😭😢
If you value them, please move them. 😜
PageMonster 🤣👍
I absolutely HATE when people step over me. I would much rather be asked to move
I don't mind someone every once in a while venturing to ask me if I need a hand with something that I look like I might be struggling with (doing non-automatic doors that open towards me in a standard manual chair isn't the easiest thing in the world, but I can also vouch for my fair share of people standing in the doorway while holding a door for me and me having to squeeze through very carefully to avoid running over their toes). However, when I have 5 different people within 2 minutes ask me if I need help and I'm literally just looking around, it gets to be a bit infuriating and I have to force myself to smile and give the same polite answer I give almost every time anyone asks (I resorted to telling one of them that if I needed help, I would ask; only one person there ever asked me again). Being short of stature, I was already used to having to occasionally ask for help to reach things on the top shelves, so I have no reservations about asking for help with that sort of thing now. The most ridiculous thing I was ever asked if I needed help with was "getting down the ramp" - a shallow (maybe 1% grade??), very wide one; I loudly groaned inwardly and mentally rolled my eyes, but just responded with a smile and a polite, "I'm good, thanks."
I think I was only ever asked once if I could do a wheelie, and it was by one of my cousins - I had just recently mastered it (and it was fun), so I was happy to show it off. If it was just anyone, though, I would be really unamused.
Honestly, I like it when people talk to me like they would anyone else - I have interests, passions, dreams, and goals, just like anyone else, so I like it when people basically ignore the fact that I'm in a wheelchair and talk to me like they would anyone else. And like you, Gem, I may have to use a wheelchair, but I can still ride a horse just fine.
6:40 I did my final year project around this problem
A person opened the door and stood right in the doorway blocking my entry
love the video interesting topic
also how did you come up with it
Question number one was the inso for it, then I put it to the community to see what questions they don't mind. xx
Wow I love this! I want a covid 19version :o
I'm already scared about talking to wheelchair user. I feel like in a minefield where I have to watch so much what I say or ask. :(
Piece of advice from a part time wheelie - I know it sounds really complicated and scary, but it actually boils down to a very simple principle: if you choose to talk to the person, just talk to him/her like you would anyone else. I wholeheartedly appreciate that my classmates treat and talk to me the same whether I'm up on my own two feet doing barn chores and riding my horse, or I'm using my wheelchair to get around the rest of campus - only one ever ventured to actually ask me anything about it (which I took no offense at, because she was genuinely curious as to why she sometimes saw me in it and sometimes not), and they all basically ignore the fact that it's there (other than, when the situation arises, moving a chair out of the way so I can pull up to the table to join them). The same advice goes for talking to someone with a service dog - ignore the dog, and, if you choose to do engage the handler in conversation, talk to him/her the same as you would anyone else.
Hope that helps waylay some of the anxiety.
I think sometimes people (child &adult alike) stare or ask questions (how they become disabled/why they are in a chair) about disabled people because they may be inquisitive. They may be truly interested in medical related things. I am not physically disabled but I have hidden disabilities and have other friends the same and have had friends who are in wheelchairs. As I got to know them I was intrigued by their stories they told me. I try not to state as I know it can be rude but sometimes I cannot help glancing as I think it is instinct to glance at something we do not see on a daily basis. I try to treat everyone as equal and talk to people normally looking them in the eye whoever they are. Iv often had to to tell people about myself and thankfully being a very outgoing person Iv always been happy to tell people anything, I don’t like it when people assume things and think of people with any type of disabilities are weirds, contagious, inferior etc.
I also in a wheelchair... um I'm new to this 2 years now. how do I find a date in a wheelchair with another person in a wheelchair?
Best answer I've found to the last question is it's a grown up pushchair because I can't walk
Would it be acceptable to ask how they got there wheelchair (how they afforded it and such)? I would use a motorised wheelchair on a bad day if I could afford to pay for one
I dont mind being asked to move if they are polite. the last time it happened at an event the people behind us were so rude and demanded we moved as they said they couldn't see.
Oh Ive had some really horrible people too. Its been when I have asked them to move, cuz I can't get by. People are so dumb.
I went to the royal opera house before christmas and there were two of us using wheelchairs in our group, as we made our way towards the lift there was a jam, nothing to do with us, the people in front were stationary clearly couldn't move but there was a corner so I couldn't see what was going on. An idiot woman behind me was yelling at me to move, I kept taking deep breaths, telling myself I wasn't going to be rude, but she broke me. I don't remember what I said, but she had really wound me up, saying it the second I stopped, pushing into my chair, risking the ankles of the person in front of me and repeatedly saying it, it was all too much.
Ok, one more comment/question: did you get new tires?!? I love'em!
They are called Gripoz, they are like a silicone cover that go over the push rims. The gave been amazing. Im going to be doing a whole video review on them. The come in black and orange too. :)
These videos are so helpful
I don't mind being asked to move usually even if im not in the way ill still move out the way because i know how wide my chair is so when I'm in like a isle in a shop they can be really narrow so when im in that isle a certain way even when im not in the way i like to move out the way more but that might just be the polite Canadian in me
See the video in which gem hubbard practically steam "I'm not that wide!!!"
Do you have a new chair, or just new wheels, I don't remember the pink rims.
Are you an ice skater ? Do you do sports like basketball?
I know I’m late but I’m in a wheelchair and me and my mum went to the beach with my dog and we stopped for some hot drinks and my dog saw a pigeon and because I was holding her leash she pulled my chair over and It was so painful and now I get really anxious when I go out because I’m scared to fall again. Do you have any advice?
KatyDraws
Sorry to hear about your accident with the dog. If you are in a similar situation again get the other person to tie the dogs leash to a bench or a streetlight or a tree while you wait near to the dog.
I’ve fallen out my chair loads of times. In general I followed these rules..
Make sure your chair is always in full working order.
Use push mitts or gloves to avoid friction burns.
Don’t use rubber wheel grips on the rims if you are an active user. They are only useful in the snow or on rough terrain but are dangerous at other times if you are going down a hill at speed on your own as you won’t have anywhere near the same control and will get severe friction burns and could fall out by stopping abruptly.
Do you have anti tippers? Will stop you falling backwards. Good if you are inexperienced or anxious.
Lean forward going up hills and backwards going down hill.
If you are on your own don’t be scared to ask a stranger to hold a door open or give you a short push up a hill for example.
Don’t have tiny castors because they are more dangerous and more likely to get caught in tiny gaps and throw you out. Tiny castors are purpose made for sports and are useful indoors for smaller turning circles but are never safe outside.
Make sure your environment is free of floor clutter that could cause your chair to tip.
Learn to fall out of your chair on a soft mat so you can get yourself back onto your seat on your own.
Do remember that accidents will happen, just build up your confidence and learn from previous experiences.
X
Oh Im the same. If someone is pushing me who is not very specially aware I get very nervous too. It sounds like you need to build up your confidence again. Keep getting out as much as possible, and I have a really good video on "how to push a manual wheelchair" which you are welcome to share with friends and family to help them understand better. I also wouldn't hold the dog again. I have a really strong Boxer dog, and Im reluctant to hold her. Do you push yourself in the chair??? If you can get yourself nice and strong that will help. And practice your wheelies, that will help you feel more confident if you can. Remember always consult a medical professional first before attempting anything new. xx
And the Academy award for best overacting in a wheelchair based RUclips video goes to... Gem’s husband,
if i have shown no inclination of needing help, i also dont mind a store employee just saying “let me know if you need help!” because its not implying that i do need help, but gives me a sense of security!
I don't mind being asked if I can do tricks, i can walk a bit and do disability gymnastics and "yeah I can do a backflip" is obviously the expected answer 😂
It annoys me that some people are dicks towards people with a visible disability when they wouldnt be with someone like me who only has an invisible disability, or for that matter vice versa. For example, It may not be obvious why I'm in an accessible toilet, but I do have good reasons for doing so. Since I have Crohns Disease, there's a possibility I could soil myself if I wait for a stall in the men's toilets. Despite being a transgender woman, I still use the men's toilets since many women see us as men, and don't want us in their spaces. Frankly we can never win with some people. Fuck em.
Be carful with stairs please
It's like my opinions in an English accent. Are you reading my mind?
I’m looking for some advice. I work at a clothing store in the US and we have an accessible register at customer service. The thing is I’m not always at that station. If I have a customer using a wheelchair how should I go about using that register? Last time this happened I felt really awkward and just made an effort to lean over the tall counter because the customer was already at my register. How do I not make a big deal about the person using a wheelchair but also be inclusive? I would love to hear thoughts from someone who is a customer in this situation.
Also I love your channel. It’s been so educational. Your video skills have come a long way! You can really see that in this video.
To be honest as a customer, I've never really understood why stores bother with a single lower counter. Am I expected to wait longer for the lower counter to be free? Is the lower counter even always staffed? Apparently there are some post offices in the UK which are set up for all counters to be writing height for wheelchair or standing at the push of a button, but I suspect they fail on larger electric wheelchairs and very tall people. Unless I have to actually write (in the UK no one uses cheques these days, but when they did there was a pull out ledge lower down you could use) I've no need for a lower counter, unless it's stupidly high and you can't see me!
I am a paraplegic and a wheelchair user. I would just let the person know that if it's easier, you guys could head to the accessible counter. Some counters are hard for wheelchair users to use and many are probably not aware that there's an accessible counter.
@@anneharrison1849 Most counters here can be really high in the US. It depends on the store.I think they really help wheelchair users here if staffed correctly. :)
now this is probably gonna be a crazy and weirdo question, but....uhm...do you think you have a better life in kinda way, when it comes to responsibilities and stuff, like people don`t expect you to do this and that? a part of me wants to make my legs useless and get stuck to the wheelchair for the rest of my life cause then people maybe wont expect me to manage this and that, i cant explain it good enough -.-. and also getting a ride from a to b all the time if its too far to use the wheelchair sounds good. excuse my terrible comment i feel so stupid
I don't care if ppl ask questions. Kids like to touch my stump and it has a scar from knee surgeries before amputation so it looks like a bum. So i learned how to twerk it and i will draw on a thong and a tramp stamp and twerk it and make people laugh, esp kids. Then i have a shark i safety pin to my clothes where my stump is and it makes everyone laugh. If i can make ppl laugh, it's a good day. I'm like speed racer in my manual chair and in 9 years, no one has ever asked to push me. I think they're afraid they'll slow me down. 😂😂
Hotdogs or hamburgers? Personally I like hamburgers where do you stand?
The story has to be age appropriate