The Uncomfortable Truth Behind Cheating In Relationships - Psychologist Explains

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  • Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
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    Welcome to the Valentine's Day special podcast. For this episode, we have with us Havovi Hyderabadwalla, one of Mumbai's top & reputed psychologists. An extremely deep, at the same time fun conversation, all about love, BDSM, and relationships.
    Havovi Hyderabadwalla is a Forensic Psychologist and a Clinical Psychologist. With an experience of almost a decade, she is also the co-founder of Mind Mandala. This is a podcast that will help you understand relationships in a much more practical way, better outlook toward your current or future partner, and more. It is extremely important to have the right person to share their thoughts on topics like love, romance, and complicated relationships - and Havovi Ma'am is someone who is always open to growing and learning more. No one is better than her for our Love & Relationships Valentine's Day special of 2023.
    In this podcast, we discuss society's version of love, problems in relationships, divorces & infidelity, Loneliness VS Solitude, Casual S*x, BDSM & so much more. Havovi ma'am is an absolute all-star of TRS and will be back very soon with more interesting conversations. Stay Tuned for more.
    Hope you enjoy this conversation full of relationship insights, fun, and most importantly love. Wishing you all a very happy Valentine's Day ❤️
    #valentinesday #1812
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    TRS Clips is a collection of SHORT CLIPS from The Ranveer Show podcast. Enjoy our latest knowledge-fueled videos from the BeerBiceps team. Every conversation on #TheRanveerShow is intellectual, deep & progressive. We cover everyone from entrepreneurs to Bollywood film stars to even athletes.
    Today, The Ranveer Show or TRS - Happiness Through Curiosity. A show where we host the world's greatest success stories and try digging out their secrets to success. Every conversation is an EXTREME learning experience for the viewer.

Комментарии • 436

  • @virolo4211
    @virolo4211 Год назад +921

    If a soldier in the army cheats on his own country, he gets court marshalled, and never ever allowed to join the army. A Traitor is Traitor. No matter what are the underlying feelings.

    • @charulatayadav1789
      @charulatayadav1789 Год назад +23

      Even a Army person cheats whole world respects them but some people use their profession as a tool to cheat. U can't take action against them because of law. Sometimes law mske us hlpless

    • @bhaktakushaldalei2769
      @bhaktakushaldalei2769 Год назад +9

      @@charulatayadav1789
      Just like World War I and II ..
      Completely agree with

    • @AryanHomeland
      @AryanHomeland Год назад

      This another Steve Harvey bs निताइ Nitāi - LISTEN Śrīla Prabhupāda on YT. ORIGINAL UNCHANGED books (ONLY pre -1978) u will finally KNW the only ABSOLUTE truth. He will help you

    • @yuktiyukti02
      @yuktiyukti02 Год назад +5

      @@charulatayadav1789 bruhhh... He just gave an example don't be serious 💀

    • @sangitajha1722
      @sangitajha1722 Год назад +3

      Dost tmhara dil boht zyada dukha h ky

  • @dingding4898
    @dingding4898 Год назад +302

    infidelity has increased doesn't make it a norm, the norm is still fidelity.
    If you like your version of yourself with else, befriend them, explain these feelings to your partner, make them understand.
    Communication is the key here.
    Cheating is not the solution here.
    And if your partner is resistant to communicating, then divorce. But don't cheat.

    • @aaryakulkarni787
      @aaryakulkarni787 Год назад +1

      What if family doesn't support divorce they pressurize you to stay so yeah cheating is justified tho

    • @theintergalacticcounciltar6686
      @theintergalacticcounciltar6686 Год назад

      Ok ding ding

    • @akash_vatsyayan
      @akash_vatsyayan Год назад +3

      ​@@aaryakulkarni787 Yeah, if being a cheater is okay with the doer's soul. If it's fair for his / her partner to get cheated on for loving a dark soul. That's why a faithful partner with a good soul, is very important.

    • @tapoprasadjena3139
      @tapoprasadjena3139 10 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@aaryakulkarni787waah cheating ko justify karliya🤣🤣

    • @wearetheworld9092
      @wearetheworld9092 6 месяцев назад +1

      Exactly. Cheating isn't the solution. And it just doesn't meant only physical cheating. All other things that they term as "micro cheating" these days are the basic lines of a relationship that should not be crossed. Agar cheat karna hai toh better stay alone. I dont preach what I don't practise and what doesn't allow with my own values. I never got my level of loyalty n commitment in a relationship. So i have realised it's better to stay alone than be with someone who is always looking at other people n thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

  • @smriticapoor
    @smriticapoor Год назад +821

    I'll be honest. Bollywood movies growing up taught me that true love is when a man gives up everything for you. What I didn't realize is what the movie never showed. What happened to those couples after 20 years. The real truth is that things will happen, couples will evolve, and go through some of the hardest times in their lives. So, when you love yourself more than your partner, you can always come back to yourself, regain the energy, mindset, whatever it may be and go back.. However, if you don't.. you have nothing to go back to. You've given everything there is to the other person and that's when you start feeling down, unloved, not heard, unseen. Love YOURSELF first!

    • @preethi9200
      @preethi9200 Год назад +4

      Well said!!

    • @yipman214
      @yipman214 Год назад +7

      Alain de Botton essays of love covers exactly this. Watch the movie My last five girlfriends.

    • @obergruppenfuhrer-
      @obergruppenfuhrer- Год назад +5

      I first read your surname as "Cooper", then realised that you changed 'kapoor' to 'capoor'

    • @nanditharavikumar
      @nanditharavikumar Год назад +3

      Absolutely....so much of my perception of how a relationship should be came from stuff i watched on tv. It defined so much subconsciously.

    • @Ali-ro1lq
      @Ali-ro1lq Год назад +12

      Cheaters never loved or liked in the first place. They're psychopaths, them saying i love you, were just words, that's why they cheat, because they are psychopaths.

  • @Abcd-de3yv
    @Abcd-de3yv Год назад +119

    If you have spend 30+ years in Marriage and now you are bored to your partner, then tell him that, get divorce and then do whatever the f** you want. Cheating is the worst you can do with your loved onces.

    • @HarshGupta-py3dw
      @HarshGupta-py3dw Месяц назад +1

      Bruh 30 year already over, what left for old folks 😂😂😂 , can they handle this insane stress in old age

    • @laxmi_11223
      @laxmi_11223 9 дней назад

      How can you use the word bore 🥲 bull shit

    • @inty2005
      @inty2005 6 дней назад

      Yes you are right, why to give mental trauma to the partner, simply live a separate life enjoy the lust, cheating is a choice not a mistake, if continues living with a cheater means inviting to ruin the inner peace.

  • @AditiyaPathak
    @AditiyaPathak Год назад +542

    In my opinion these facts and titles are misleading the audience.
    Loving someone romantically doesn't always involve butterflies or fascinating stuff, it's way beyond that.
    Perception of love is different from one other.
    And no matter what
    Cheating on your partner will always be unethical regardless of how many theories or studies exist.
    Being committed to someone is always a matter of trust and respect one can offer to them.

    • @prakharshrivastava2688
      @prakharshrivastava2688 Год назад +8

      absolutely

    • @avishukla1505
      @avishukla1505 Год назад +7

      Right

    • @adityaahirrao4602
      @adityaahirrao4602 Год назад +9

      Absolutely, 100%

    • @mimis.5139
      @mimis.5139 Год назад +22

      Depends... These people are researchers of human thinking process. They would like to know the reason why these things are happening instead of dismissing it coz it morally looks wrong. Point to Note: They themselves won't cheat but definitely would love this topic to get to the roots.
      Love goes out of window first in marriage: not my words but had heard this from my grandmother

    • @deepaktanwar2906
      @deepaktanwar2906 Год назад +1

      Committed to what? And when you are committed to someone/something you are important or someone/something you are committed to?

  • @travtp3vv
    @travtp3vv Год назад +40

    Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter what circumstances or what reason. It's human nature that they will always find excuses for everything. It's really make this world shit if cheating, dishonest is being promoted as it's good or nothing bad in it

  • @taniii09
    @taniii09 Год назад +55

    I don't even know how people give reasons for cheating like hello you can't just say that sorry i was feeling like this so that happened it was a mistake. Cheating is never a mistake in my opinion, it's a choice. If you have problems going on in your relationship just talk to your person and if it's getting out of hand then just end it better than hurting someone in worst way possible. Just think about all the time and moments you shared with the person you are cheating on. You are gonna hurt the person who you cared about the most once.

  • @Zeira111
    @Zeira111 Год назад +171

    People cheat because they have no integrity and dignity. Full stop.
    DO NOT justify sucha heinous action and mindset🙏🏽🙏🏽
    It's unfortunate that she calls herself a psychologist 🙆‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    • @sydneyjay2465
      @sydneyjay2465 10 месяцев назад +3

      True. I so agree to this. 👍

    • @ourdiary502
      @ourdiary502 5 месяцев назад +1

      Agreed

    • @atoinfinity8242
      @atoinfinity8242 3 месяца назад

      agree

    • @tatanatan1
      @tatanatan1 7 дней назад +1

      She isn’t justifying cheating. She is talking about the psychology that goes behind cheating. Most of you guys on the forum lack critical reasoning and thinking

    • @vinayravi9343
      @vinayravi9343 День назад

      ​@@tatanatan1sounds like justification.

  • @adithyalfc
    @adithyalfc Год назад +125

    What is she saying? supporting infidelity? Loving yourself doesn't mean cheating. Come on! Where are we heading as a society?

    • @rara-wg3qs
      @rara-wg3qs Год назад +24

      Exactly.. people cheat because they want the feeling of new love or butterflies over and over again... Nothing else really. Either way it's not right

    • @Kathakathan11
      @Kathakathan11 5 месяцев назад +1

      You didn’t understand what she said

    • @shoaibahmad2710
      @shoaibahmad2710 3 месяца назад +2

      @Kathatak do not try to justify her filthy and non sense talks. Every action of a human is related to human only. Every action is his own choice rather be male or female.

  • @nehashirodkar1273
    @nehashirodkar1273 Год назад +67

    I didn't feel any Butterflies or anything bro... But i managed to have a authentic relationship

    • @BalakrishnanNair68
      @BalakrishnanNair68 Год назад +6

      In my purview, Butterflies should be felt by both (which seldom happens) , or else one person has to "manage" for having the authenticity in relationship.

    • @whentheimposterissus8376
      @whentheimposterissus8376 Год назад +6

      Buddy you might want to then think about your relationship. You're in a loyal partnership not a Relationship. What's the point of being with a person when you can't even feel the Sweet Butterflies of love?
      Yes Love is not about a strawberry world but being with a person you LOVE is always a goosebump experience. You simply can't help but feel at ease and happy in the deepest corners of your heart when with each other .

    • @sushmasingh3107
      @sushmasingh3107 Год назад +3

      Yes you just managed relationship for dependency not for love.

    • @shivompokhriyal4589
      @shivompokhriyal4589 Год назад +3

      Love is an abstract term so I guess that if that works for you and you feel happy then it's as good as any relationship out there

    • @amalksuresh2538
      @amalksuresh2538 Год назад +3

      ​@@sushmasingh3107 love is not just butterflies. Love is even not just feelings

  • @varungujarathi979
    @varungujarathi979 Год назад +14

    Any relationship is based on compromise from both parties. If something isn't working out try meet in between. Say be yourself and love yourself doesn't make infidelity right thing. You have to bend over backwards to make things work. Loving someone is easy, being with them for life is difficult.

  • @pauline6005
    @pauline6005 Год назад +13

    After 3 years of trying my long distant relationship ended at the weekend. All because I questioned my then partner about being alone with a maid. When he had said to me that he couldn't be alone with any female because indian society won't accept it.
    This wasn't about cheating this was about him saying one thing to me then doing the opposite. But he kept changing his story.
    One minute he was within the same house as the maid , she offering him tea then going about her cleaning. Which I had no problem with at all. Next they just exchanged keys. The next she only offered tea of an evening which baffled me. So I wondered which story it was
    So when I kept questioning him he called me sick in the head.
    Said im the reason why men keep secrets , I'm toxic and controlling.
    He's also said im too sensitive and I shouldn't hold onto baggage.
    He had told me to leave the topic alone its finished with. And when I asked did he mean to go back to it at a later time when we've cooled down . He said no. When he says it's finished it's finished. Which I said I weren't ready to move on just because he said so.
    We had started talking again a few days later and so I still had the awful words in the back of my head. So I asked him does he still think im those things he had said to me. He said yes and doesn't have no regrets. I said he should say sorry and he said , I'll say sorry for upsetting you. But not for them words
    I think he called me. Though in the same breath he said they weren't that bad nor did he swear at me.
    He even said if I hadn't questioned him so much he wouldn't of got so angry and said it to me.
    Fast forward a few days and finally got a sorry and he said he has never asked for an apology for my behaviour that let to his outburst.
    And that I'm not like indian women who don't hold onto such things. They would build the relationship not let it go. I said you let your ego and sharp tongue get in the way. Which he has told me before. And he said an indian woman would break down his ego.
    I said you shouldn't have such an ego that it needs breaking down and I'm glad im not and indian woman. That needs to walk on egg shells. I said we both need to work on ourselves. Then he said he has nothing to work on and even his friends say he doesn't need to go to councilling
    I ended the relationship which he keeps adding to the messages and previously he's ended it multiple times. And I said we have tried for 3 years we are both different. We both see things differently and we just don't match. We've tried it's time to end and let go . And even said I dont hate him
    I wish he would of worked at it because I know even I need to work on myself and rebuild on myself. But I'm not gonna be in a relationship were I feel I can't be open about my feelings or have to pick and choose words so he doesn't take offence if I have a problem which what he said or did.
    He even liked other womens photos on fb and commented how lovely they are. Even messaged one. That he wanted to get to know her more. And when I said I found them disrespectful because some were half naked. He said his fb account had been hijacked and he would pick and choose which ones were him and which ones weren't. And then said they should be left in the past. Even though he always said to me he didn't like public displays of affection and was careful of what he said to my photos very rarely liked or even sent hearts.
    So glad though its over I can look after myself now and start to make myself happy again
    Sorry for the long post
    Rant over

    • @pauline6005
      @pauline6005 Год назад +1

      What I do fund funny is that he blames western culture for marriage failure. When infact he was the one cheating on me.
      Yes I'll probably get attacked on here. But I've been cheated on by a Muslim and an Hindu . And yet I still believe its the men and not the whole male race that's the problem.

    • @MsAldil
      @MsAldil 6 месяцев назад

      Went through something similar, but of less intensity.
      I'm scared of males now. All I see is betrayal.

    • @pauline6005
      @pauline6005 6 месяцев назад

      @MsAldil I'm so sorry you went through this. Know you're not on your own.
      After everything I. We're left lost, confused, wondering what the eck happened.
      I found out he was a narcissist
      He had loved bombed me. Manipulated me and gas lighted me. He had me feeling like I couldn't think for myself . I got annoyed when he made me upset. So I use to pinched myself to stop my tears. I felt like I couldn't think for myself. These people only think they are right and everyone is aganist them.
      Please I hope you have ended the relationship. As I promise you It won't get any better.
      I've done some inner healing and meditation which as helped alot.
      I hope you are ok

    • @ghayazali660
      @ghayazali660 Месяц назад

      After reading your story i guess he was right you sound so immature

  • @fire6915
    @fire6915 Год назад +64

    Bitter truth :
    Cheating is common. Accept it.
    So it's better to all of you work on yourself not on your relationship.

  • @kabirbhardwaj6624
    @kabirbhardwaj6624 Год назад +41

    Its simple. If you cheat, you’re a person of weak morals and a non existent back bone who would rather seek attention elsewhere than have the difficult talk. Difficult talks put you in difficult situations and people dont like being put on the spot. Hence they run (i.e. cheat).

    • @akash_vatsyayan
      @akash_vatsyayan Год назад +1

      True that!

    • @ayaneesarkar8538
      @ayaneesarkar8538 Год назад

      Truly I agree with you,people nowadays trying to escape from reality by avoiding responsibilities and serious relationship.

  • @thoochani
    @thoochani Год назад +132

    In my case, I didn't felt any butterfly. I felt the care she showed me like my mom. She expected me to be the same as my mom expects. And for that I believed in her. I did everything for her. But at the end I was betrayed. Some say that, doing everything for wife is different from doing everything for a GF.
    For me it is like I am truthful to my heart. I do because I have a deep care and love for her and I accepted her as my life companion by heart.
    For me it is funny to set marriage as a security bond for doing everything to her. It looks so weird to me personally. Because it is commodity exchange when marriage is set as a security bond. Love is different.
    I feel no one can define the definition of love for anybody else. It has the deepest connection to every individual and their true identity.
    If she cheats me it doesn't mean that my love is not a love at all. It is just the chemistry doesn't work out or it is the urge of uncontrollable self that went haywire.
    Above all cheating someone else is equivalent to cheating our own self.

    • @tusharmeshram6998
      @tusharmeshram6998 Год назад +8

      You're last sentence is very apt.

    • @dhrubajyotiroy3301
      @dhrubajyotiroy3301 Год назад

      The last line you said is only to make yourself feel better. To feel god. If she gets someone who is better than you.. with better house better cars more income higher status than you. who provides her more.. she's definitely going to enjoy those perks enjoy her life even more. Ask yourself how is she going to feel cheated for getting more? 🤣🤣 Stop brainwashing yourself. Accept the reality. Know female pyschology female nature.. She left you for a reason. These Indian psychologists and bollywood movies have brainwashed young indian men.

    • @thoochani
      @thoochani Год назад +9

      @@dhrubajyotiroy3301 lol. Time has answers for everything. I know how she lives now. She even wrote me apologies twice and tried to get back. At the end she felt that she has cheated herself. May be you are drawn to this conclusion as nothing happened to you to get relieved out of it. And you are spreading your jokes. Look if you are interested, go and search for women's philosophy. I don't need a shit about it. I have a lot more important stuffs than these.

    • @radikakrsnacandrasurash1250
      @radikakrsnacandrasurash1250 Год назад +8

      Agreed 💯. Cheating is not justified no matter what .

    • @karna8658
      @karna8658 Год назад +4

      ​@@thoochani i am glad, u didn't went back to her. N u hold yur Ground.
      She didn't felt bad because she was cheating, she felt bad because she got caught.
      You have morals , keep it up☺️.

  • @SAURABHJAIN1989
    @SAURABHJAIN1989 Год назад +14

    1:30 A lot of people lose their essence, lose their mind. Because they've given their partner, every single thing.
    That's the truth.
    Don't do that.

  • @GPS379
    @GPS379 Год назад +66

    I’m 36 I never had a relationship 😎 or touched a human.
    I have been safe always even now .
    Peace

    • @kushagraahire1871
      @kushagraahire1871 Год назад +7

      You are a disappointment

    • @TopG.297
      @TopG.297 Год назад +7

      @@kushagraahire1871 agreeable

    • @monalikasahoo7124
      @monalikasahoo7124 Год назад +2

      You are not from Earth

    • @patel_saheb23
      @patel_saheb23 Год назад

      Mai 26 ka hoke dukhi hun aap to 36 ke hon. Ye life mai apne kisi na kisiko like to jarur kiya hoga wo baat alag hai wo apko nahi mila. Aisa sab kr sath hota hai jo single bhi hai na uske sath bhi.

    • @detraxop6680
      @detraxop6680 Год назад +4

      You are not disappointment if you are feeling happy and peaceful being single then be that dont listen to other people

  • @shubhra4903
    @shubhra4903 Год назад +12

    If you get cheated..just move on... human can not be force to love..Just be comfortable with the fact, even if you are in relationship be mindful that otherone is free to do whatever he wants. It will give you immense freedom and stability.

    • @sanatanipandit1166
      @sanatanipandit1166 10 месяцев назад +2

      Have you been cheated on?

    • @chaitanyagupta6668
      @chaitanyagupta6668 9 месяцев назад +6

      ​@@sanatanipandit1166to be honest, she sounds more like the kind that cheats. Not a single line of accountability, pure victim blaming.

    • @blue_568
      @blue_568 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​​@@chaitanyagupta6668How is it ethically right to force to love someone, when you really don't love.

    • @chaitanyagupta6668
      @chaitanyagupta6668 5 месяцев назад +3

      @@blue_568 only a cheater would say after marriage, a spouse is still free to do whatever she wants and tell the other spouse to accept it. If this isn't telling, idk what is

    • @blue_568
      @blue_568 5 месяцев назад

      @@chaitanyagupta6668 But still you cannot force anyone to love.

  • @harshvardhanraj5568
    @harshvardhanraj5568 Год назад +70

    IDK if i'm right or wrong, but cheating is worst possible thing to do, i know for sure at some point of time ppl feel it's over, love is over.... but think isn't that a time to prove that ur love was true, u'll have to make ur love alive, cheating isn't a solution... cheaters belong to streets..... and that's it.... i have seen ppl cheating yet blaming other person for random things...

  • @TheKhooshbu
    @TheKhooshbu Год назад +42

    Relationships require work. Every relationship needs work. Be it mother and child, siblings or your partner. And I disagree with the fact that friendship doesn’t translate to companionship. My husband and I had a very romantic start to our relationship but its the friendship that has kept us strong. Being there for each other, encouraging each other, dancing in each other’s success and crying at anyone’s loss, celebrating each other’s qualities and loving all their quirks, learning from each other and growing together. You cant have a happy relationship without a good friendship. I keep describing this to young kids when you meet the right person, you will know. You will feel comfortable around them, you will feel like yourself with them, when they will criticise you you will know its with a good intention, they will make you feel like they are your home. Everything else - the gifts, the romantic gestures, the cheesy movie expectations dont matter when you meet the right person.

    • @tejasvijat343
      @tejasvijat343 Год назад

      This got my heart❤

    • @tejasvijat343
      @tejasvijat343 Год назад +2

      I do have this kind of a relationship with my boyfriend❤ and we're happily together for 3 years❤

    • @shwetatendulkar4152
      @shwetatendulkar4152 Год назад

      You missed the essence of that statement by reversing it's order.

  • @vidya9587
    @vidya9587 Год назад +29

    You have to make marriage work. It doesn't happen. Love just happens

    • @darkness6575
      @darkness6575 5 месяцев назад +2

      "Lust" just happens.
      Love ain't shit it's just lust.

  • @McSivam
    @McSivam Год назад +16

    So being ABLE to be YOURSELF and being able to be VULNERABLE when you're in a RELATIONSHIP with someone is an important part of a relationship for it to become SUCCESSFUL

  • @abhisheksinha936
    @abhisheksinha936 Год назад +13

    Everyone saying cheating is common it depends on how much respect u have for each other

  • @Sardar_Khan69
    @Sardar_Khan69 Год назад +30

    With due respect. But i dnt agree with some of her initial thoughts like Even after 50 years of marriage being together and Still you end up cheating, then may be you were never in love. You were jist serving a contract bcz in 50 years love develops automatically.
    Cheating is as worst as a murder of and infant. End your relationship organically and then do whatever you want to do
    Also yes it is imp to keep loving yourself even when you are in relationship bcz me time makes you embrace US Time More....
    And last thing about friendships...Yes it is true sometimes friendships dnt work as relationships..
    But one of three base things for a relationship to work is 'She/He needs to be one of your really good friends' If you both can't have great friendship the relationship will brake.
    The Long term Relationships last bcz of great chemistry and All kinds of intimacy , Trust and Friendship

  • @lifeofdarshit
    @lifeofdarshit Год назад +6

    I came here with a defensive mind but after watching this video I have come to a conclusion that modern psychologist are able to identify the issue but the root cause of all this is way deeper than that. With the help of Spirituality and masters, practising the tools and techniques from years I can see that where is the problem lying. You can listen to OSHO as well to understand it better. Thinking about starting my own content creation on Relationships lol, there is so much to share. But I really feel that these things are so deep routed that even despite knowing things it's hard to bring a change unless you have the proper tools in your hand and a desire to bring a change in your own life.

  • @jujubelooga
    @jujubelooga Год назад +36

    As a medical profession I tried to find scientific research on why people cheat and honestly, people who tried to investigate and research it couldn’t come to conclusion. Their reason is that first not many people will come out for the research and the one who did they wouldn’t always be truthful about it. So, I think this women shouldn’t interpret and express her feelings based on her experience in the name of knowledge. Cheating shows a persons character and not a reliable one. It is known as the lowest form of morality.

  • @Wednesday356fff66
    @Wednesday356fff66 Год назад +5

    When Ranveer said mam aap bolte raho...OMG I like him..he is soo sweet!!

  • @ekagratahub1284
    @ekagratahub1284 Год назад +22

    Ranveer please a video of best upbringing for child irrespective of caste, community or class. Which suits for all generations of children. Fundamental growth of the mentally stable and strong child.

  • @arshathessa5688
    @arshathessa5688 Год назад +67

    Whenever you use hindi , please use subtitle ranveer , it'll be useful for non-hindi speakers

    • @Unknown07_69
      @Unknown07_69 Год назад

      He had already used subtitles 😀

    • @varunrai894
      @varunrai894 Год назад +9

      Learn hindi

    • @akumar9684
      @akumar9684 Год назад

      Turn on cc

    • @arshathessa5688
      @arshathessa5688 Год назад +3

      @@Unknown07_69 buddy , that is automated Subtitles which rendering by youtube , it'll hear English words from video and create substitle , it doesn't take hindi nor convert hindi into English , check once and comment back

    • @arshathessa5688
      @arshathessa5688 Год назад +1

      @@akumar9684 turn on your CC and click 1:59

  • @eternalsunshine5505
    @eternalsunshine5505 Год назад +10

    I don't somehow feel that your relationships never last if you don't give your all in it, and love yourself more than your partner or your family and all. I feel relationships fail exactly when you start "loving yourself" more than anything else. It makes you more self-centered, and literally every decision you take becomes a only-me thing. It caters to you alone. That turns a beautiful thing into the ugliest possible situation from which you emotionally damage yourself and the other person, beyond a point of trusting again. I guess a better idea would be to love the people around you more than yourself, and if something bad happens, at least you gave your all to it, and that's weirdly a very peaceful feeling.

    • @anshmittal3098
      @anshmittal3098 Год назад

      Yeah true
      Its also find ut common that the higher the person's body count the higher the chances of them cheating or getting divorce

    • @Straightastheycome
      @Straightastheycome 3 месяца назад

      Yup. Cheating is in itself selfish. Loving yourself does not mean letting go of the accountability and responsibility (a woman's kryptonite)​@@anshmittal3098

  • @sangeetanair3643
    @sangeetanair3643 Год назад +17

    So true that people have lost their essence by offering everything to a person..One should learn to love oneself that's really important... people have fooled themselves thinking it's love

  • @GoodVibes-flow
    @GoodVibes-flow Год назад +10

    Its there simply means people are becoming self centred. Jus bcoz we have freedom doesn't mean we sud cheat...

  • @shaily191
    @shaily191 Год назад +13

    Loved this discussion about love, infidelity and the differentiation between love and friendship. Why people cheat is a whole another world that involves a lot of human psychology and reasons. That reason was interesting.
    What I feel from reading some of the comments is ppl are still not ready to discuss infidelity even when it is very much apparent in our society. All simply start preaching to not do it and it's wrong no matter what and blah, blah, blah. We all know it's wrong, why you keep shouting about that. The ones in the video know that too. No one said humans should cheat or glorify it. She's just Discussing the topic and the why. Perhaps listening to it will make you understand relationships more deeply or how to better ourselves, self love etc. Perhaps it might stop some other person from cheating or thinking about it. That's why these things are needed to be discussed. The psyche behind it. Not that they are wrong. Everyone knows it's wrong.

    • @deepadutta6751
      @deepadutta6751 3 месяца назад +1

      Why PPL will not shout ??? Every body know this is wrong but still they are doing this . That shows PPL don't know why it's wrong.

  • @rahulmathur8531
    @rahulmathur8531 Год назад +30

    Primary causal factor for infidelity..,,
    "Narrow confined obsessive self centeredness" ,, it's authentically documented that people who have had more sexual partners before starting a serious relationship they tend to fall in the panoply of people who cheat their partners.
    And now you can connect infidelity to bunch of reasons but it's 85 percent of the time that people do cheating because they want some sexual exploration with person other than his/her partner.

    • @prerna4283
      @prerna4283 Год назад +1

      Couldn't have said it better

    • @rahulmathur8531
      @rahulmathur8531 Год назад

      @@prerna4283 do you know some other motivational forces that drive people to adopt this "cheating norm" ??

    • @alkaroy8738
      @alkaroy8738 11 месяцев назад

      True

  • @abhisekdas6012
    @abhisekdas6012 Год назад +3

    Love is such a vague word. To know if you are in love, first you need to know what love is for you? Definition of love varies from person to person. For some it is caring, for some sacrifice, for some protection, for some balance of everything.

    • @shubham5781
      @shubham5781 6 месяцев назад +1

      And for some love is only about fucking

    • @darkness6575
      @darkness6575 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@shubham5781for most and it's lust.
      Societies are doomed.

  • @RashmiSingh-wr6li
    @RashmiSingh-wr6li Год назад +3

    No matter how you try to justify infedility.. it was wrong, is wrong and will always be wrong.
    Shows how the moral and character is of the person. If you can't be committed then what's the difference between you and animals

  • @NiayalVikram
    @NiayalVikram Год назад +3

    what does even loving yourself mean? is it going to the spa? giving yourself a treat? putting yourself above everyone else? If only the answer was that easy!!!

    • @Straightastheycome
      @Straightastheycome 3 месяца назад

      From a woman's perspective it means that do whatever they feel like, without being accountable and responsible for their actions.

  • @arm3199
    @arm3199 Год назад +13

    Excluding the sexual desires..Ever felt bored and unexcited towards your parents? And theyre love towards you? No..its always our mind..the more you think rekations and people change it changes..the more you think and trust your relationship stays strong and evolve together! It happens manifestations are real..communication must be real..trust must be real for a relationship to co exist! Cheating is breaking some ones (some one who trusts you) identity,Love,Emmotional health,and bondage..other person would be devastated this..even if there is a primitive brain inside us..we re not primitive! We dont fight over food & lust like animals do..we live in a society thus cheating is always wrong always! No Fkng Excuse..let it be in relationships,working platform nor any form

  • @AbhishekNamdeo11
    @AbhishekNamdeo11 11 месяцев назад +5

    love yourself and destroy other one's life. bro if you could not handle your situation calmly then don't blame it on the relationship. cheating must be in your blood, do not destroy someone's life just for your selfishness. here theses 2 clowns who never got their right partner talking about fidelity. claps

    • @Okaybro12313
      @Okaybro12313 10 месяцев назад

      Jab katega tab Pata chalega..

  • @ankansharma4897
    @ankansharma4897 Год назад +3

    What I understood is to find the right person with whom your values align. People have different opinions, principles, and values they live by, and in the long run, you can't change someone's principles, values, and ethics.
    This is the reason the past is very important when choosing your life partner. People say the past shouldn't define you but that total BS. If you are planning to marry promiscuous women or men but you have always believed in a monogamous serious relationship, there is a very very high chance your life will go up in flames once the 'honeymoon phase' ends. The same goes for vice-versa.
    There are people who will say do the right thing, maybe he/she is like that in the past not right now. But you got one life don't try to become "politically correct" and complicate it unnecessarily, your happiness comes as a priority.
    Next argument sleeping around is not a big deal nowadays. Oh boy, it is. read about pair-bonding.
    My point is, to choose your partner with whom your values lie. There are open marriages and then there are marriages of 50+ years living happily with each other.
    We can't dictate what other individuals should do, but can only choose what we can do.

    • @blue_568
      @blue_568 5 месяцев назад

      Explain pair-bonding

  • @tatanatan1
    @tatanatan1 7 дней назад

    She is not giving excuses or reasons behind cheating for godsake. What she is explaining is the psychology behind cheating which is interesting to note.

  • @nicegangster29
    @nicegangster29 7 месяцев назад +1

    In the End Times,
    "AND BECAUSE LAWLESSNESS WILL BE INCREASED, THE LOVE OF MANY WILL GROW COLD" - Mathew 24 :12

  • @TruBliss
    @TruBliss Год назад +8

    You can get butterfly even when there's an attachment style at place.

  • @abhisheksainani
    @abhisheksainani Год назад +25

    I'm so glad Havovi ma'am has clearly highlighted the difference between dependency and love. I made a mistake regarding this due to my insecurities once upon a time (luckily I got out of it), but I hope others understand this and make better choices.

  • @sakshirwt2123
    @sakshirwt2123 Год назад +5

    At first glance, the thumbnail looks like a mother asking his teenage son have u seen gehraiyan again?😆😆😆😆

  • @ammyhunt3613
    @ammyhunt3613 Год назад +8

    ranveer - title kuch bhi daal de yaar log to dekh hi lenge

  • @dr.sandeepjyot2722
    @dr.sandeepjyot2722 Год назад +1

    Beautifully explained
    Thanks 🎉

  • @subhadarshikar
    @subhadarshikar 6 месяцев назад

    I have watched Esther Perel before this video and she is just 🔥🔥🔥....the amount of wisdom and knowledge she has is something beyond. Everyone must listen to her.

  • @cologymadeasy
    @cologymadeasy 12 дней назад

    Always have self love, self respect and self worth whether or not in a relationship. This is what one can do to stop attract cheaters( low frequency people ) into your life❤

  • @grishmasingh1567
    @grishmasingh1567 Год назад +3

    I needed to listen to this !!
    Thankyou ❤

  • @KrazyMeennnn
    @KrazyMeennnn Год назад

    This is the most comprehensive, understandable, well-presented historical spy site overview I have heard from any online agency. I have subscribed to and shared your channel with friends around the world. Whoever created *usespy online* that particular spy site deserves the highest of journalistic accolades. Bravo!

  • @learnwithsam1141
    @learnwithsam1141 Год назад +5

    In my case...I was not able to utter a word or even say hi to my actual crushes 😊...

  • @swavnasahoo711
    @swavnasahoo711 Год назад +1

    Esther is a genius and the guest here, I don't think she came anywhere close to summarising Esther's teachings at all. No relationship advice can be just a sequence of jargons, it is more nuanced than that.

  • @digadityapratapkaushik2477
    @digadityapratapkaushik2477 Год назад +2

    If person can leave his Family, Friends & other relationship without reason for a Girl/boy, Well I know that person can Leave you or anyone any point of time for someone else...

    • @anshmittal3098
      @anshmittal3098 Год назад +2

      Nah leaving wife and leaving friends is completely difference

  • @ranajoypanja6714
    @ranajoypanja6714 Год назад +2

    All these talk is secondary.
    Primarily for boys, you have to be successful and rich.
    For girls you have to be pretty.
    Sad harsh reality. 😢

  • @tatanatan1
    @tatanatan1 7 дней назад

    Brilliant insights

  • @nanditharavikumar
    @nanditharavikumar Год назад +1

    Pearls of wisdom again. ♥️

  • @aishwaryainfotec1157
    @aishwaryainfotec1157 6 месяцев назад +1

    nice to see the comment section has mature audience .

  • @JS-hf1jw
    @JS-hf1jw Год назад +23

    Let me tell u a story. I was in a so called relationship, then at the end, she said, "I never loved you" and got into a relationship with one of my friends. It taught me many things, and independence is one of them. I would suggest, never get into a relationship, never give away your freedom, never lose yourself. Just for a little experience if you yield to emotions, I am sorry, but when things fall, you would know you were wrong all along.

    • @geraltissuperman1749
      @geraltissuperman1749 Год назад +2

      Thank you for sharing your experience, it's better to learn from mistakes of others, it's really better to love yourself more

    • @ds-fv1hx
      @ds-fv1hx Год назад +1

      And That's so correct!

  • @reactionsunny7773
    @reactionsunny7773 Год назад

    Communication is the key to healthier relationship. If any toxicity please speak up your problem and give adequate time to fix it... still not say bye bye and have your life but Don't spoil your life with unnecessary expectations and rigidity.

  • @pooh92116
    @pooh92116 Год назад +3

    "Intellectuals" like to live in mind than reality- Mostly!
    The thing one must check, if the same thing has worked in that person life who is telling other how things works!

  • @victoria14royalattic82
    @victoria14royalattic82 Год назад +10

    Been in relationship for 4 yrs got cheated on....I learn alot.....

  • @juikulkarni8720
    @juikulkarni8720 5 месяцев назад

    Cheating is a conscious decision and act that has been chosen by a person. It's absolutely normal for a person to be attracted to someone else, but choosing to act on that attraction is something that is not acceptable when you are already committed to a romantic relationship. Everything else can be normalized, but please let us not normalize acts that are against ethics, and value systems. Let us not justify infidelity by blaming another partner.

  • @zindagijeenede
    @zindagijeenede Год назад

    Love shayad ek feeling hai. Words mein kaise samjhaoge? Kaise padhoge?
    Aur Agar padh liya to feel chala jayega.
    Right?
    In aunty ne galat kaha. Bohot kuchh galat kaha. But worst was to teach people to love themselves. Don't do that.
    Khudko Janna nearly impossible hai. Jab tak khudko Jaana nahi, tab tak khudse pyar shayad egoistic ya fear driven ho.

  • @risshavrai7525
    @risshavrai7525 Год назад

    Loved this conversation ❤

  • @alkasoli4002
    @alkasoli4002 Месяц назад

    Cheating is a mistake not a choice
    Never forgive a cheater

  • @Soniworld
    @Soniworld 5 месяцев назад

    Sadly even when women or men find out their partner isn’t loyal they stay. They have no courage to leave because log kya kahenge.

  • @neojai3514
    @neojai3514 11 месяцев назад +1

    infidelity exists because of the cheats are of weak characters, these are people, who makes, out of the world promises, but when time comes, they shy away from even basic ones. There are no institutions , who teaches character building and basic ethics and morality. so Be a Person of Strong resolve and Character(read good books, read books on Swami Vivekananda, read Ramcharitmanas) , rather than a Bird of Emotions and Desire. Trust me ,, You will be Proud of yourself as a being of strong Character, without and guilt and doubt throughout your life.

  • @bb2680
    @bb2680 Год назад

    She is not rambling she is super intelligent

  • @matildamaher1505
    @matildamaher1505 Год назад +1

    Adultery is a conscious choice and it's wrong and will also be. If one is not happy address the issue

  • @jonathanbuttery1149
    @jonathanbuttery1149 Год назад

    If we know it’s wrong, we don’t need to understand why.

  • @yashkumar_
    @yashkumar_ Год назад +8

    Ranveer bhai pls bring bageshwar baaba as next guest 🙏

  • @nirupamasharma4389
    @nirupamasharma4389 6 месяцев назад +1

    I will never cheat on my partner. But if ever I find my partner cheating on me, I will make the relationship an open relationship and will cheat as many times I would feel like (or even not feel like) staying absolutely open to him. Divorce and remarriage can happen later if that has to!!

    • @hunainaghai3342
      @hunainaghai3342 6 месяцев назад

      Okay noted

    • @greenearth4657
      @greenearth4657 6 месяцев назад

      It means there is possibility of cheating by your partner. Or you are waiting for mistake by your partner to open up with your mistakes.

    • @nirupamasharma4389
      @nirupamasharma4389 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@greenearth4657 no, it is just that my partner would not deserve a committed woman in case he cheats. As far as my partner's loyalty is concerned, one can never be sure what goes on in another person's mind. Trusting your partner is a different thing, but i don't believe in blind trust as well. There is a fine line.

    • @nirupamasharma4389
      @nirupamasharma4389 6 месяцев назад

      @@greenearth4657 no, in case my partner cheats I would like to ensure he gets what he deserves. As far as my partner is concerned, you never know what goes in another person's heart. Trusting your partner doesn't equal blind trust. There is a fine line.

    • @adarsh8731
      @adarsh8731 3 месяца назад

      Sharma ji aap married ho???

  • @friendship8539
    @friendship8539 Год назад

    A partner cheats when he or she has fallen out of love long back.
    Infidelity is a very painful reality and cruel to the victim. It should not be glorified in movies like gehraiyan or deewani mastani , etc.

  • @shahzebkhan7523
    @shahzebkhan7523 Год назад +1

    I came on this video by mistake...I thought it was TANTRIK SPECIAL WHEN I SAW THE MAM

  • @shrustypradhan2497
    @shrustypradhan2497 Год назад +2

    Ranveer, when are we seeing “The sushmita sen” in ur show

  • @udaybhardwaj6012
    @udaybhardwaj6012 Год назад +1

    In reality actually we ruined the word "LOVE" "PYAR" by adding it with Marriages and relationship

    • @kansharma
      @kansharma Год назад

      exactlyyyy

    • @gaganahari4641
      @gaganahari4641 Год назад

      There is no love without suffering and that's where we fall into...we have to take immense responsibility because its a voluntary suffering against what life throws at you

  • @SuperMsmystery
    @SuperMsmystery Год назад

    1: People get coupled with incompatible people and then cheat.
    2: You're immature and self sabotage

  • @punjabishiv
    @punjabishiv Год назад +1

    Ranveer Bhai, please decrease the volume of intro and outro music... Humble request !!

  • @minnkhant7845
    @minnkhant7845 Год назад +5

    where did you mention cheating? waste of time really.

  • @maheshbhatt8115
    @maheshbhatt8115 4 месяца назад

    Being cheated by someone is very very painful 😢
    But people cheat easily
    Even sometimes they come in your life just to use you for their own sake then disconnect then again need come then again disconnect after use😢

  • @besiktasjk4726
    @besiktasjk4726 Год назад

    The quality of your spy job is so incredibly high. If you don't have *team usespy online* behind you, then you are clearly a multi talented individual. The way the access is structured was perfect, the visuals are stunning, the narration is engaging, and of course, the project is itself intriguing. You are a professional !!

  • @qwertyasdfgzxcvbiop2114
    @qwertyasdfgzxcvbiop2114 Год назад +5

    yeh relationship-velationship sab garbage hai bro. Purana style better tha jab you first saw the face of your relationship/spouse on suhag raat 😂
    nah pado in chakron main, khule hokar jiyo, mast malang bano, upar waale ko pyar karo or apna jugaad karo.
    yeh zamane main waise bhi koi relationship-velationship chalne waala nahi as human hearts are easily corrupted now.
    yeh pyaar-vyaar etc. main padkar or phir breakup keh aashiq hoone se tum aapne andar ki divya shakti koh loose kardoge. Don't let it happen!!

  • @bkpolysolutionsvasuvaghela9726
    @bkpolysolutionsvasuvaghela9726 Год назад +1

    As the legend said "Jab tak desh me cinema hai..... Tab tak ..........(Fill in the gap)"

  • @cheryl8346
    @cheryl8346 Год назад +2

    please make a Podcast with Rekha ji

  • @shrutikumar5064
    @shrutikumar5064 Год назад

    What is the girl waited for 8 long years that too in a long distance relationship??? And now after getting registered the guy is avoiding her then? Doesn't she have the right to be happy?

  • @ankurprakash10
    @ankurprakash10 Год назад

    Cheating was is and will be alwyas ethically wrong

  • @SD-ts6pv
    @SD-ts6pv Год назад +1

    See it like robbery... achanak se robbery badhne lage toh aap robbery ko justify karoge. No . Right? Infidelity is wrong on all levels. If you started developing feelings for other person then end the existing relationship first. But cheaters want to have their cake and eat it too. That's pure selfishness, bad behavior and lack of morals. They can't take it on themselves what they give to others. Infidelity is into existence ever since marriage concept started . Humans are not willing to be sticking to one partner. Now they want one partner at a time not for lifetime. Infidelity is a problem and so marriage is. Marriage is not for everyone. If you can't be committed then just don't marry..my husband cheated every girl he was with . He cheated nearly two women and married me . Cheated me during marriage and had an affair with a coworker. While he was in affair with he continued having physical relationships with me also so basically cheated on her . He is always looking for women . Like always . He won't miss a chance . He is at fault and society has nothing for him. No consequences absolutely . There is no excuse for cheating. Cheating is a problem with cheater and has nothing to do with relationship or the partner who got cheated . Period

  • @hulya7018
    @hulya7018 Год назад

    Often the difference between whether a person is identified as a hacktivist (or Batman vigilante as described here) or a terrorist is whether the person describing the hacker agrees with their ideology or not. One of the reasons why doing real harm with hacking is not a good idea. *Usespy online* all the way. No worries about breaking the law, and you're actually building value for someone by ensuring they know of all their system's vulnerabilities. A great place to start practicing is on your own devices and networks.

  • @CommentatorSG
    @CommentatorSG 6 месяцев назад

    Sometimes love just happens. It carches you unawares. You never thought you would ever cheat. But you have in your heart.

  • @gaganahari4641
    @gaganahari4641 Год назад

    I believe marry when you are suffering and want to suffer together ...that's how u can take responsibility....

  • @game-changer-brand7252
    @game-changer-brand7252 Год назад

    In 21st century there aren't "Soul-Mates-Compatible-LifePartners" at all -- they are just "soul-satisfying-STATUS-SYMBOLS" in 99% Couples 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @prabhathavasi9841
    @prabhathavasi9841 6 месяцев назад

    I don't feel any butterfly feelings with my husband, infact he is very busy working for the family that we rarely spend time together, I have never received the attention that I desire from him, he sometimes hurt me emotionally but still I would rather die than cheating, because I know that morally it's very wrong , no matter how your partner treats you, cheating is never a solution nor can it be justified, if you don't like certain qualities of your partner, talk to them, if it cannot be fixed, try to adjust if the problem is small and kids are involved, if the person is toxic, then end the relationship, cheating is the absolute worst thing you can do to a person

  • @SS-pd7zu
    @SS-pd7zu Год назад

    I don't know man. I think love doesn't have any particular definition, it's personal what u call love. Different ppl have different ideas of love. Let's not set criterias for such a amazing thing called Love. The intimacy, feelings, vibes shared by two ppl will only make sense to them. Thts love unique to everyone. So guys go for it. Listen to your gut , stop wasting ur time.

  • @Straightastheycome
    @Straightastheycome 3 месяца назад

    See how its always the woman defending cheating when the woman does it. Accountability and responsibility are womans kryptonite.

  • @zest6932
    @zest6932 Год назад

    If u dont like somebody or feel captive in a relationship try to talk abou it and if it still doesnt change just move on..i know its easier said than done but to cheat and then rationalise it aboslutely charaterless..life is full of challanges,just because people make a lot of money doesnt mean they can do whatever they feel like..all actions have repercusions

  • @briechilli4496
    @briechilli4496 Год назад +4

    This woman has misconstrued what Perel teaches, used her name then goes off on her own irrelevant (to cheating) tangent.

  • @rabinraj15
    @rabinraj15 5 месяцев назад

    Just to share.... If your partner has underlying Cluster B Personality Disorder, then Esther Perele or any other relationship experts advise wont work... Be careful & Good luck everyone. Much love & respect, God bless ❤ 🙏🏽

  • @rayrwyr
    @rayrwyr Год назад

    Marriage is a socio-legal contract. Romantic love is not essential for it to work for long term. Also strong romantic love does not gurantee a long-lasting marriage. To make a contract last, you have to respect and stay committed to the terms of the contract. Loyality, taking care of each other during good and bad times, building a parenting household together -- these are the terms of the marriage contract. Also equality in marriage does not work. Someone (the husband) has to be the leader. He must lead in a competent and fair manner. The wife should submit to his leadership. Then both will be happy and marriage will last. All 3 major world religions (Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism) have clear guidance that the husband must be the leader in the relationship.

  • @dynamitestyle99
    @dynamitestyle99 6 месяцев назад

    Just don't get married stay single and have fun if you want multiple partners just don't marry don't break someone heart