Alan Carr reads a letter to an insurance company describing a sticky situation
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- Опубликовано: 25 мар 2021
- The inimitable Alan Carr reads a letter to an insurance company from 'Name Withheld' describing a rather sticky situation...
Originally performed at the Union Chapel, London on March 6th, 2020. 
Развлечения
I work in insurance, and these letters are rare, yet not as rare as one would hope, and generally the highlight of the year. Pro Tip: if you make our supervisor nearly pass out laughing when they feel the read this out at the next meeting, so anyone who hasn't caught wind of it yet (i.e. no one) is included in this moment of beauty, they tend to skew our claims processing into your favor.
clarity please ? bit after "pass out laughing" doesnt make a great deal of sense other than "processing in your favor"
This comment made my day 😂 I’ve always wondered how these letters went over
@@rafezetter8003 if you edit to "feel the need to read" in place of "feel the read" it makes sense
💯 FACTS- This poster is completely correct and giving some fantastic pro tips.
Wanted Visuals- Thank you for sharing this with others, with a grateful heart. 🙏
Confession: I fully left the above comment before even watching it.
So for those of you who wondering why I am now immediately replying to my own reply is here’s the cliff note of why you should read above.
He had half of the company the second he mentioned the speed within which’Betty’ the manager replied.
The other half came on board the second he mentioned that they even brought FD’s bus.
So Wanted, champion pro tips, I doff my cap.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
Dear Insurance Company,
Just pay this man his money.
For the love of all that is holy, just pay this man his money.
He truly did have a horrific accident, but tragically, his 'rescue' was even more unfortunate.
Whatever his coverage is good for, he certainly earned every penny.
The poor, sad soul.
Help him out.
He is obviously *not* a “poor sad soul”!!
The NEWS was the ultimate kicker.
Like, at this point, just look up the incident online, Superior Insurance!
Give this made at least a sliver of dignity back, lol.
@@ImNotaRussianBot Literally impossible.. They've made it so that you have no information to search with.
Seriously! This poor guy had all the bad luck hit at once! 😂😂😂
My brother and I came home from a chilli festival where he'd spent a lovely time taste testing a variety of dips and chutneys. He went straight to the toilet and within a minute he started screaming. He transferred chilli onto his privates and cried out for me to get him a glass of water. My six foot brother was reduced to a blubbering mess as he sat there soaking his boiling member in a tumbler of water. We called it the Chilli Willy Affair 😆😆😆
Um...why?
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA
Is your brother 12 y.o.? Usually most boys grow out of combining their privates with chilli by then and just relegate their chilli willie misdeeds to daring other boys, younger than 12 of course, to prove their mettle.
@@oceandrew I don't think he brought chilli home from the festival to slather on himself. More likely he had some capsaicin lingering on his hands and it went downhill from there. I've done much the same thing but to my eyes and I had already scrubbed my hands many times!
@@oceandrew Wow just digest the fkin humorous anecdote instead of trying to cross-examine the guy. Jesus who are you, Columbo?
After 2 years of Covid quarantine why am I only learning of this channel now? Come on algorithm, get your act together!
I’m a year even later than you! If that’s any consolation 😆
And just now for me.
That last turn and the flash of a smile before leaving the podium was so sweet 😄
He was brilliant!
He *is* brilliant.
Have you ever seen him on his chat show? Alan Carr Chatty Man. I’m sure it’s on RUclips. He’s so very funny. Check it out.
I remember the insurance company I once worked for receiving a letter from somebody who had claimed for the theft of a bracelet explaining that it had now been recovered having been found around the neck of a Mr Edward Bear who the claimant explained was a friend of his young daugher.
I hope Mr Bear got a stern talking-to.
Alan Carr could read a shopping list and he could make it funny. Bless him.
In all fairness, the writing was gold.
Really? I find him just plane irritating
@@shaunmorrissey7313 Well Shaun as has been frequently said , it takes all sorts to make a world .
@@shaunmorrissey7313Plain.
It's spelled plain, fgs, and why are you even here?
@@mortalclown3812
Sadly, I don’t think you can shame stupid people because, you know, they’re too stupid to realize what you’re getting at…
I can only imagine this poor guy's desperation that he would allow the "rescuers" to even consider using a torch in this situation. I hope that he was able to regain full use of his anatomy without too much undue suffering.
This story is really up among the great insurance damage claims, along with the classic builder's story of how to get quadruple damages from lowering a barrel of tools down from the top of a house using a pulley wheel with the rope going only once up and once down. Incredible stories.
That's how I get up on roofs in Assassin's Creed all the time with no issues!
The construction worker had no training among the brotherhood
We'll this adds perspective to every bad day I've ever had.
you are funny!
@@gabrielrusso6920 thank you.
Yeah. This guy was lucky
Yes, we have to console ourselves more each passing day now. (ie: "At least I'm not living in a war zone.")
Ikr? It’s why I’m trying to get back into practicing gratitude. I used to make a short list of 3-6 things. On the super shitty days my list usually included basic needs like food and shelter and small bright spots like “the sky was pretty driving to work today.”
A nurse once told me about a gentleman who attended the accident unit when she was in duty there.
He'd been intimately entertaining himself with a slim can of hairspray when he'd lost his grip and it got sucked up into his lower body cavity. Eventually the medics managed to remove it, dropped it into a plastic carrier bag and sent him on his way. He came back in two minutes later having looked into the bag.
"I forget to tell you that the lid was on it".
I have seen the X ray of a man with an entire tube of tennis balls in his colon. Our doctors couldn't get it out so they had to prep him for surgery.
ahhhhhhhh life lol
oh dear
As someone who works in xray, its not uncommon at all for something like this to happen, in either part. Worst one by far has to be the genius that decided to use a lightbulb… they removed it in surgery because they were worried if they cracked it they’d perforate his bowels. Or maybe the guy that put a mouse wire up his penis and it knotted in his bladder, again surgery. Dont put things in places they arent meant to be folks
If I were an insurance agent I totally would have sent a gift-wrapped pair of oven mitts along with the cheque. 😂
Warning! Do not listen to this with a mouthful of toast. The resultant choking is not pleasant.
As you were...
I was eating pretzels and started choking!
To late I was drinking a bottle of Coke, coke now all over wall floor and me, I'm pretty sure that this is not the way you are meant to snort coke pmsl
An eloquently written, and comical, letter like that needs to be read in a British accent. That letter is legendary, a very funny and very well told story.
It would have been more funny too, to imagin a dignified and sophisticated gentelman going through that..instead of equating sutupidity with certain accents.. I mean such accidents can happen to any one
A british what? The language IS English. Did you never notice english is to england what finnish is to finland? Most could be trusted to put 2 and 2 together at that point. There is no such thing as an english accent, anymore than a french accent when speaking that language. What does exist, is a yank accent in just about every language, which is almost invariably the apathetic drawl of a despondent teenager, rift with nested contractions, nonsensical exclamations, and grunting.
@@InservioLetum There are numerous dialects in Britain, all of which have a particular accent as part of their phonology. We Canadians have several different accents as well, particularly here on the East Coast. Here, the accents are definitely not American. Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, India, all have their own dialects, each with its own phonology. You should learn more about the dialectology and sociolinguistics of our native language, it's quite interesting.
@@wfcoaker1398 Sans doute, je le sais bien. You're interpeting my comment backwards, though.
When you have a "french accent" in french, you're just speaking french, not frankish french. You can have a "tronno" accent in english, but not an english accent in your canadian, because canadian is not a language. Similarly, muricanese isn't a language, being instead a sloppily abridged version of proper english.
@@InservioLetum A "British accent" is any of the accents spoken by British people when they speak the English language. The language isn't called "British". The designation of which accent is being spoken is based on the geographic area where that dialect is spoken, ie "West Country English ", or the social class of the people speaking, or, sometimes by a proper name, like "Geordie", which is usually also geographically based. I'm not sure if you're expressing the usual British scorn for non standard dialects or if you're just being pedantic. Either way, British accents are those spoken in the British Isles, like Canadian English in Canada, Newfoundland English in Newfoundland, American English in America,, Australian English in Australia, etc.
I don't know why the algorithm didn't present this series to me sooner, but my life is definitely enriched because of it.
This was painfully amusing, even to an aged female, but even more so when said aging female has a son in law in the fire service charged with such rescues! He hasn't stopped laughing!
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂👍
He wasn't the bloke with the torch was he? ;)
You never know 🤣🤣🤣
I concur with your sentiment 100%♡
Australia.
Hopefully your son would use a common or garden angle grinder, rather than a torch 😵💫
I propose all forms now have a box marked "stupidity" and let's just leave it at that.
Doctors use a code for health issues caused by old age to avoid actually calling the patient “old” TMB= too many birthdays
@@camogrrl I'm 70 and that's hilarious because it's accurate.
noooo.....i wanna hear the story! 🤣😂
Alan Carr could read the phone book - and I’d be hysterical.
This is, by far, the best channel I have ever had the good fortune to come across...
Absolutely BRILLIANT!!!
🤣♥️🤣♥️🤣♥️🤣
That’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. Alan Carr delivered it beautifully. What a crack-up!😂😂😂
I was lucky to read a British Gas accident book; The roller door on my van was always stiff and needed considerable force to open, unbeknown to me this fault was repaired, I applied the usual force and was carried up the side of the van leading to the subsequent fall.
One of the funniest reports that I read was a statement to an insurance company that read ‘ I reversed into a garden that I didn’t own and hit a tree that I didn’t have’
Sounds similar to an excerpt from a Jasper Carrott programme
@@silverknight4886 possibly, I think they’re a generic thing.
I seem to remember that was Jasper carrot. The only other one I recall from his show way back then is 'i had to swerve several times before I hit him' 😁
"I saw a sad-faced slow-moving old man as he flew across the bonnet of my car."
But *you didn’t* read that! You’ve quoted that, as pp said, from Jasper Carrot. Is your life really so boring that you have to lay claim to things you have never done?
Freaking hillarious, and as for you Alan, you are a refreshment to the soul!
That has got to be the most elegant way of saying "I have my balls in a vice!"
That would not have been so entertaining if someone else had read it, it's the faces he makes and his smile that makes me laugh so much, very funny guy 😄
I’ve watched this several times and I must say Alan Carr is just perfect for reading this letter. His voice and cadence convey both the seriousness and the ludicrousness of this situation! As someone aptly said he could read a shopping list and make it funny and entertaining!
Hands-down the funniest letter, extremely well read! 👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I'm reeling, every new detail is just a strike to the mind. What a nightmare of a situation
A relative of mine used the old fashioned public toilets in a department store. She yanked the chain and managed to pull the whole cistern off the wall at the same time. We had many a laugh over the years about that.
Your relative definitely does far more than 'yank people's chains' then!
I wonder how many people here are too young to understand what you are referring to. I am 65 so don’t have a problem.😊
@@barbarahope1934
Anyone who has watched “The Godfather” will understand. 😉
Alan is THE *perfect* person to read this
He’s a gem!
A genuine report on a claim form from decades ago: "I thought the [car] window was open, but it was closed, as I found out when I put my head through it".
That sounds like one of the stories that the British comedian Jasper Carrott used to tell.
@@simonkevnorris Yes, I remember him reading out several. They were was shown to me during a light-hearted interval in a training course when I joined an insurance company. Probably Jasper got access to the same document. I have a few that I can vouch for at first hand, as I handled claims for some years; but at the moment I can't find them!
@@simonkevnorris My first thought on reading David's comment, and hearing the story in the video, was of Jasper Carrott. They were always a highlight of his shows and it's nice to see someone else remember him.
my husband did this .you reminded me.now im laughing here like a lunatic.🤣
The pain I'm imagining from this is indescribable. Every kind of it! All types of mental and physical suffering! But it's also hilarious at the same time 🤪😆
Beyond hysterical
OMG!!! I laughed so much that I required my inhaler.
Alan you are pure class.
The universe was showing off when you were made.
Australia 1.00 am
That’s a smashing blouse!
This reminds me very much of Hoffnung's 'The Barrel' explaining why he can't come into work, very funny.😂
What a wonderful piece of comedic writing! and the perfect performer for the part 😆
Beyond hysterical. I now have a hernia by way of laughter.
Fabulous I sent it to 180 of my staff and friends.
Australia.
I have just discovered Letters Live ! Thank you. And to see publishers Canongate of my home town Edinburgh is involved is a delight. (Well done Jamie and co..)
I love this so much I have to hear it again.
@Val's Whitewolf Books I'm watching it for the fourth time.😂 I've seen Alan Carrs stand up comedy & love his show . He was a perfect choice to read this letter .💜🐶💜
While he was reading it, I couldn't help but think about Ben Stiller in "Something about Mary"
This sounded worse though😮😭
"..and the Channel 4 on-spot-news team"
"How was lunch?"
"Oh, just the usual"
Something similar happened to me once. So I'm sat there and the paper holder cover fell forward hitting me on the head. Shoved it back, finished by doings and went to go out the cubicle and the door swung back in my face. I literally was staggering by the time I got to the sink for hand washing. Some days you wonder if you've upset your guardian angel.😀
😂
I woke up on my first morning in the US and did what is common in the UK which is wash my hair in the sink. This is not so common in the US and so the sinks are somewhat smaller. While working up a lather, the back of my head hit the faucet. Instinctively, I jerked my head forwards and my forehead hit the edge of the sink and, again instinctively, I jerked my head back into the faucet. After 4 blows in very rapid succession, I managed to extricate my head from this violent piece of porcelain with attitude. 12 hours in New York and I'd already been mugged by a piece of bathroom furniture!
@@immortalsofar5314 you wash your hair in the sink?? 😳
@@squiggleworks9 I grew up in the '70s when showers weren't very common in the UK so you could either take a bath or use the sink.
I had an ingrown toenail removed, I showered with a plastic bag on my foot, I had a face mask so I thought I'll put that on when I get out of the shower, I managed to get out of the shower I tried to put the facemask on it slid straight off my face covering the floor in slime, I slid backwards into the shower pulling the curtain off and performing a glorious pirouette into the bath, shaken but unhurt I skidded to the towel rack and out the door.😂😂😂
this was my favorite letter of all time. I had read the letter in a magazine years ago, but alan carr is the only one who could do it justice when read.
I hope the poor fella retained full functionality of the unlucky appendage.
Awesome story read by the perfect narrator ❤️😂😂😂
I haven't laughed this much while listening to any of the funny letters!! Alan Carr is epic!
The Australian speeding ticket one is pure gold!
this is absolutely precious
Alan Carr was the perfect choice for this letter
This puts me walking into my bank not realising that i was covered in Bird Sh-t in its place! In my defence it was raining heavily and i thought that i had been hit on the head by a large drop of rain.
A bird crapped on my jacket 15 years ago. Apparently it's good luck.
Now THAT is a story to remember.
I cannot imagine better casting! Bravo
Its Alan Carr's speaking voice that adds to the effect, superb 👏
When he said the locking device engaged, I literally shrieked out loud. 😳🤣
This has Little Britain quality with the senator who slipped in a men's bathroom and landed with an undisclosed body part of his own into an undisclosed body cavity of another bloke who was there at the same time with both of them being fully naked for unknown reasons...
Yeeees! Exactly what I was thinking 😂
...and then he requested that Julio or whatever name returns his watch to him when he finds it. 😳
@@mattw8332 Carlos! 🤣 ⌚️
_In a position I believe is referred to as a spit-roast._ It was Sir Norman Fry, MP - Carlos and Eduardo invited him into the next cubicle to discuss a specific aspect of parliamentary policy. 😂
what's really funny is that here in the US, that happened in real life. the most ironic thing, the senator found in the compromising position was one who had worked to pass quite a bit of anti-gay legislation.
Watched this with my legs crossed.
Fantastic letter, brilliant delivery!
Utterly Delightfully read and Poor Man in the letter!
I've got a story sort of like this based on a true story that happened to me, only it involved a hemangioma on my scrotum that I mistook for a pimple and being on blood thinners and goes from worrying about bleeding out to ending with a pop culture reference that struck me at that particular moment when I looked in the mirror.
I've actually told it at stand up at an open mic several times. It always goes over great. Unfortunately I've never taped it.
Hope you're ok, and not scarred for life physically or mentally. X
You should tape it for RUclips :D
Sitting with my morning coffee in the garden and giggling steadily louder and more intensely until I damn near wet meself wahaahaa
Betty, the manager ... 🤣😂😅
Reminded me of that one true Amazon review of hair removal cream by a bloke that had used it on his cherries. I about died laughing the first time I read it.
Name Withheld, you legend!
Thanks for killing the punchline
@@OscillationLoop Come again?
@@OscillationLoop Name withheld is because it is either an entirely real letter, or has been based on a real circumstance, and so the identity of the person has been witheld for the purposes of this retelling to respect their privacy. Unless I'm being very dense here 'name withheld' is not the punchline.
@@OscillationLoop And anyway 'name withheld' is already referenced prominently in the videos description...
Alan Carr cracks me up!
As an RN in NYC, everyday . Notice how the letter never states anyone asking how this happen and go to how they can resolve the issue? But, I will say I you have to check in with people, because sometime they are discussing these dramatic options calmly like the use of a blow torch as if he wasn't there.
Superior Health Insurance coverage is in Texas, their headquarters are in NYC.
I went so far as to look it up to get some context of the restaurant.
Holy Mackerel! This is the funniest video I've seen in a while. I now will probably need to watch every video on this channel.
Thank you, one and all!!!! ❤️👌🏾🌟🎉🥳😂🤣😅😆
I was in a foul mood and only had to get to 3:58 in order to cheer up!!!
This is such a fun series!
Honestly, I just clicked just so I can hear his voice.
I have to admit, I saw who was reading this one and clicked immediately knowing this one had to be extra good
I’d really rather not hear his voice.
This is 1 of my favorites yet!!😂
All i can think is OUCH!!!!! For so many reasons.
I am absolutely giggling at this. This made my evening.
Beautiful!
Priceless!!
Brilliant reading …
I think that was the perfect match of reader and material.
Best thing I have heard in a long time
Alan Carr could read a phone book and make it entertaining
I'm crying with laughter, I'm face is sodden!
Absolutely hilarious!
Would love to hear Alan Carr read ‘The Sick Note’ 😂
BRILLANT!
Brilliant!!!
I watched this more than I care to tell...but it keeps cracking me up
Alan Carr. love love love
Shades of Gerard Hoffnung - wonderful!
😂...I made up all the visuals as you were telling the story 😂
This is by far the funniest letter and incident I have ever heard off. If you have any random funny incidents like this please share so that we can all laugh in this hard times.
Who are you? Do you know Alan Carr? Are you actually telling strangers on the internet to post their insurance letter incidents as RUclips comments? What is happening to people?
@@GraemeGunn Why the hell not? I once received a text from my step-mother, for instance, which read "Dad told me you are back in hospital again. LOL Judith". Have a guess what she thought the initials stood for. She has since found out what they actually signify.
S**t like this be funny, my guy.
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 your step-mother might be funny, incurences aren't...
@@ForgiveAllOfUs No. No, that's true. The vast majority of insurance claims are anything but. But there are all sorts of interactions with bureaucracy which are, even if because they're darkly funny in retrospect. I'm sure some of the letters I've exchanged with my lawyer over my body corporate's petty woes would make for amusing reading if done out loud by someone like Carr, for instance.
Maybe try watching some of the other readings on this channel. For truly moving, I suggest Ian McKellen reading "Dear Mama" from Tales Of The City, and for further comedy greatness Napoleon's rather hysterical series of letters to his beloved Josephine. Comedy can be tragedy plus time, and it can be healing to share your historical woes. Be of good cheer. Not all people are insensitive or bad :-)
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 They actually signify "Lots of love". The other meaning started to be used MUCH more recently, and is incorrect given the long-standing real meaning.
This is written much in the style of the legendary Gerard Hoffnung!
LOVE LOVE LOVE…I HAVEN’T LAUGHEDSO HARD
Wonderful
This was the BEST
Brilliant!!!!😂😂😂
Brilliant reading. 🤣👏👏👏😊
Oooooo Betty 😁
This "letter" in various forms has been around for at least 20 years, when you've heard one you've heard them all.
My niece, whom worked for a telephone company got some doosie letters, like ".....the Cockaroach then proceeded to eat the bar code...eventuating in my not being able to pay the bill," (after the third extension!) 🤪
Oh my god this almost made me pass out 😂😂😂
Adorable