Teen Claims Dad Told Her He’s Letting Family Home ‘Go Back To The Bank’
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- A pair of sisters claim their father stopped financially supporting them and their dream of becoming professional dancers. He says he can’t afford it.
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For those of you who don’t know the ballet world, the schools that this girl was accepted into are extremely competitive and high-ranking. She’s probably a very gifted dancer.
For the armchair psychologists in the comments section talking about how Dr Phil was "too hard" on the mom, please consider that this lady is a soon to be divorcee and able-bodied woman, who is also a licensed nurse, who absolutely insists on being a stay at home mom to a 16 and 18-year-old because it's "her calling in life", despite their financial situation. On top of that, she effectively said that she hasn't made any parental mistakes during her 18 years as a parent. She 100% needs a reality check.
Agreed
Exactly, a fully capable individual who prefers that their kids go to bed hungry instead of getting a job is failing as a parent. The mom has responsibility to provide too.
Exactly
She sounds lazy af.
So she still a stay-at-home mom for them at that age?? NO she needs to go to work .
Mom saying "We're inseparable" really made me cringe. These are your kids, not your friends
Being inseperable ISN'T Just Friends.....Is ALSO having a VERY Close relationship with THEIR Mother..... Something a LOT of US Girls' DON'T have........
A lot of parents use “we’re very close” as an excuse or rebuttals for them crossing lines like oversharing with their kids about adult subject matter, or having volatile fights instead of managing a conflict LIKE A PARENT AND ADULT.
And why would that make you cringe… ITS GOOD IF MOM SAYS THEIR INSEPARABLE! You can be inseparable with your child and all the kids out there with no family… they would love someone to say that their inseparable from them.
@carrotcake u make me cringe
@@donnyosrs8282that was a pretty dumb comment
yall believe the mom has never mentioned about their financial struggles in front of her daughters? come on..
As opposed to what? Keep up appearances when there’s clearly no food in the fridge???
I hope one day she gets to do ballet professionally. I feel so bad for her ❤️
Those are adult issues and children should not be involved, the mother is not setting appropriate boundaries. Children should learn about finances generally but not details about the family finances. She's treating her children like her friends rather than being their mother.
She's two years away from being an adult so she kinda needs to know
@@gabriellemizzi746 that's true but they should be taught what to do in those situations instead of the mom dragging them into her issues. The mom blatantly refuses to work so she contributes to that problem
@@korytix7008 yea true then again i dont rly care... Like i would have handled this situation so differently
@@gabriellemizzi746 she's not paying any bills why does she need to know. Don't worry about rent until you have your own house. It's stupid to get kids involved. 16 is still ignorant of any life experience they dont know anything yet.
@@reactking7093 Well said!
Dr Phill you are a bit harsh on the mother what about their father the drunk 🥴
I hate how he’s ragging on the mom for her kids being prepared and knowledgeable about their situation
I don’t agree with Dr. Phil’s philosophy on the use of the word, “but.” I think it’s simplistic and dismissive.
Example: The word is sometimes used as he describes, BUT not always.
i mean in the realm of psychology it really is only used as an attempt to justify an objectively horrible decision. like have we once heard any of the people on this show say "i hate her, BUT shes a nice person" or anything similar? anything besides "i (or somebody) did this and it was wrong, BUT-???"
however i get really annoyed with how dr phil is constantly interrupting people when they're trying to say something so he can just shut down what he hasnt heard yet. when that lady sandra came on the show he got onto her for interrupting him and said "you dont know what im saying because i havent even said it yet!" yet he does the exact same thing. just let people finish their thoughts so you can properly understand what is happening and how they justify things, dude!
RIGHT this angered me ngl. I hate how dismissive he is towards people sometimes.
Easier said than done, Dr. Phil. In a perfect world, yes.
How hard is it not to burden your child with things that aren't their problem? Sounds like basic parenting to me.
How did the father even rip that free-scholarship away???
Probably everything else it entailed. Food, board, other living expenses, etc.
@@coffee8599 So? It's not his decision to do that. He had no right to rip it up.
@@AK-wb2ww So? It is giving a possible explanation to why she couldn't go. Scholarship doesn't provide food.
@@coffee8599 It doesn't matter. It wasn't his to tear up. That's shitty. Not his property, it's just rude. And she's an adult, if he didn't want to support her financially he could have just given her emotional support and she could have tried to find her own way.
@@coffee8599 but if mom would have gotten a job, yeah that can provide food
My husband knew about his parents finances and worked their farm. He knew what it meant when they didn’t get rain. I, however, was sheltered from all my family’s business. My husband grew up to be a much more financially responsible person and far more ready to live in the world than me. So I don’t necessarily agree with Dr. Phil on this particular point on the financial aspect.
16 is less than 2 years away from being an adult. 16 is not a child and I wish I would have been more prepared for life at 16. I kept being told I was a child then 1 day later I'm 18 and I'm an adult. I knew NOTHING. For the the next few years all I knew how to be was a child and it made the transition to adult very difficult. No one told me about bills or debt or getting on birth control. So that was a disaster waiting to happen. Actually I did know my mom filed for bankruptcy and watching that made me realize how important good credit was which my credit is always excellent.
Exactly. One thing is parents should teach their kids that stuff and schools definitely should too. Also the phrase “you don’t know anything you’re a child” when said to a “child” that’s almost an adult is insane to me because it literally proves that new adults have been set up to fail
So instead of complaining, remember to be a better parent to your children. Did you not go to public school? They teach health classes that include how bodies work. It sounds as if not only did you have neglectful parenting but you had no initiative.
@@annhenry3135 tf?
Learning about finances is one thing, but constantly being stressed because your family has a lack of income is another thing. My parents divorced when I was 16 and all of my mom's financial struggles were placed onto me during my junior and senior years of high school. I started working, not to save up for college but to support my family (giving them all of the money I had earned) because we were on food stamps and constantly feared our utilities being shut off. By the way, knowing how in debt your parent is and how dire the financial situation is does not teach you financials. It just causes unnecessary anxiety on top of the normal anxieties high schoolers face on a daily basis.
@@annhenry3135 1.) shes talking mainly about finances and how she didn’t know what to do about them when she was an adult. 2.) Not all schools have a curriculum where they teach the students about finances, which makes it harder to know about them cause you don’t learn about them
What is a parent supposed to say when their kid asks why there’s no money for these things when there should be?
She could be honest and say that she refused to work despite being a licensed nurse. Unless her excuse is that she can't afford a babysitter for a 16 & 18yr old 😉
How do those two rules apply if the kids are homeless. They will definitely notice that!
I know all about my family's finances, because I ask. I want to know. I want to be prepared when I have Bill's. I'm 15
But there’s a difference between wanting to know and being forced to know.
But do you ever WORRY about it? Is it something uncertain?
You say you want to be prepared for “when (you) have bills” that’s not what’s happening here.
My little brother took an interest in finances at 13, used to fall asleep listening to Dave Ramsey. My parents let him look at the finances because they were both gainfully employed and the house was almost paid off. He even weighed in on their choice of internet and television providers. That’s all fine.
But several years before that money was very tight while I was going to college. They didn’t breathe a word of it till after graduation. Mom swore up & down that she loved driving her clunker and wasn’t willing to let it go yet. They didn’t want me to feel responsible for their struggle or like I couldn’t ask if I needed help. Do you see how the situations are different? Information vs Issues. These parents don’t seem able to differentiate between the two appropriately.
It's one thing to learn about finances, I am in agreement with that. But a child should not be aware of adult situations. I agree that u should understand what and how to be responsible for living expenses but children shouldn't be aware of their parents financial woes bc it creates stresses that minor children aren't capable of coping with and shouldn't have to. I dont have a problem if my kids are aware of when the bills come in or even when I pay them, they need to be taught to pay bills on time or early if possible. I do have a problem with kids knowing there isnt enough $ to pay them, they dont have an understanding of the options we are given to help us in those times of need, all they know at the time is if we cant pay rent we lose our home and in turn making them feel somewhat responsible. They arent aware of payday loans or extensions. In the end you end up with a child that is more stressed than the parent over financial woes possibly causing ulcers and unnecessary nervous habits such as nail biting or fidgeting. We could unintentionally cause irreparable damage to our kids even if we had good intentions. Make up a mock budget for your child if u want to teach them financial responsibility, don't give them something else to worry about. Let them be kids while they still can. Prepare them for the stresses that come with being an adult, don't share the load with them bc its a load they arent equipped to carry.
That’s not a bad thing if your parents are financially stable.
And YES- Learn all you can about personal finance and utilize it. It’s the most underrated thing a young person can learn.
@@SweetSerenity79 I totally agree. My mom did her best to shield me from how deeply impoverished we were, but children pick up on things even if you don't tell them.
Some nights we couldn't have dinner because, well, no food. Needless to say, I'm very good at fasting now and never get "hangry".
I remember getting groceries or just running errands with my mom. And if we needed to go to a store to buy something, I would have a full blown panic attack when the cashier would tell my mom the total. Especially if she had gotten me something, even if it was under a dollar. I would have to close my eyes and cover my ears when they rang stuff up. This started when I was 5 and continued into my late teens.
I remember in fourth grade I became gravely ill. Like, almost dead kind of ill. I was diagnosed with phenomena, bronchitis and asthma all at once and had lost 20 pounds. When I finally left the hospital, I remember the full scale meltdown I had when they told her my nebulizer was going to be 100$. I was completely inconsolable when she refused NOT to buy it.
And this is all while my mom never spoke about finances or the fact that my biological father had gone off the grid in order to avoid child support payments.
BS Dr phil, how about a medal for this mother keeping a roof over their head and her children being so respectful and sweet.
She doesn’t work it’s the husband that keeps a roof over their heads she doesn’t wanna work 🥴 that’s why he treats them the way he does he knows she won’t leave
She could get a job. Unless her excuse is that her teenagers need babysitters 😆
Its kind of annoying that he keeps reiterating that them knowing so much is an issue after they've told him why. Its no parent's intention to involve their kids but sometimes it just happens that way. They get the point.
I think you missed the point as to why he kept reiterating, as they did here.
Yeah clearly the mom did not get the point. How do you think she got the point seeing her reactions and defensiveness at the end of the show??
And " it just happens that way" is a poor excuse for negligence. Reason being my parents i can without question say they were wonderful in that they always ALWAYS kept me and my sister away from adult issues. I never had to worry about what bills were going to be paid and anything that i couldnt control that they could. I just had to worry about the drama in my life growing up and i wasnt from a rich family. Even when we were struggling my parents made me feel secure that they knew how to handle things. Then when i became an adult i learned how to take on responsibilities naturally as i needed to. There's no excuse unless your kids were involved by something you can't control.
@@Tigerboyswagg What exactly was the point? Because I sure did miss it. 🤔
@@thapoppyman Your very last sentence is like adding my comment all over again. My life is similar to yours, however I'd be foolish & close-minded to assume everyone came up like you and I. There are so many possibilities to take into consideration why it happened the way that it did. Merely, the fact that the problem exists means it is a possible outcome. She's defensive because it wasn't intentional. If she could start over and do it all again, with the knowledge she has now, she would. But she can't, so why badger her about it?!
This mother has no boundries...
I love how at the end of the episode when Dr. Sofee tells the mom to be a powerful example of being strong and working to keep her daughters dreams a reality. That dumb girl can still dance if her mom would support them and teach them they don't have to be victims.The audience went nuts. That's the Dr.Phil I love.
I don't think Dr. Phil was too hard on this mother. She needs it, they all do. All they care about is the financial support their father "owes" them.
Wth? He's their father, he does owe them; he is responsible. The mother is as well, of course. That's obiviously not all they care about. They care about their family's relationship and all that affects their lives.
Parents duty is it to make sure they have clothes on their back, food in their bellies & a roof over their head. Both parents are responsible not just 1.
@@gabbyperez518 That's what I said.
their father _does_ owe them financial support lmfao
Well said Gabby.
I went to school with Chloe in middle school. While we weren’t friends by any means, I always saw her as one of the people who must have a perfect life. Just really goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. I hope things are going better for her now.
That's how kids learn about finances maybe not all of it but their old enough to know this
🙄 Really Dr Phil, how could a teenager NOT know that “RENT” (or mortgage, whevr) is DUE every month? It’s insulting that you think she “couldn’t know” unless she was TOLD in detail, by her mother.
@Elizabeth Perry unfortunately not all of us had that privilege. Welcome to reality.
it seems like a lot of people are making the point that a 16 year old is old enough to understand things like this. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the point Dr. Phil is trying to make is that someone's children shouldn't have the responsibility or burden of things like child support and not having food in the fridge. Child support may be deserved, but if the father really isn't reaching out and isn't being reliable, then you have to step up as parent for your kids, cause at the end of the day, its not their responsibility, ever.
Lady go to the damn food bank like other hungry people.
why is he being so harsh on the mom? shes been through enough. of course a 16 yr old is grown enough to understand what's going on. They're a team with their mama.
They are leeches. The poor man is worked to death.
She doesn’t work I don’t think so basically he is raising his ex wife too.
Uh adult situations do not I repeat do not need to be discussed with a child brain. I don’t know who did that to you but it’s never okay. Got it?!
@@thecolorfulvegan 16-year olds are not children.
@@maryplaidy6814 yes they are. Biologically can tell you that. Their Frontal lobe isn’t even developed yet. Do you not have children or did you treat them like this?
From where I see it, not only has he failed as a father and a husband, but he failed as a man altogether. So to the father: you are a disgrace to your whole family! 😠
I didn't hardly ever get help with child support for my kids & he sure didn't make my house payment..I worked my butt off & paid my own bills..
I am all for child support as my child is a recipient and is "supposed" to recurve it. I've always provided no matter what. I had sleepless nights, days when I didn't eat but made sure my daughter did. She is now about to be 16 & she doesn't send those messages to him. She knows more than she should bc she doesn't see him (by his choice) ever. I have to agree with Phil here, the kids shouldn't have to know about the adult stress. Also, I never depended on that change if he sent it great! If not we survived and as I grew and educated myself to better myself we've thrived and will continue to thrive. The money he sent she did what she wanted or put it away to save.
Why is the fridge empty mum. That’s an adult issue! As if they wouldn’t know what was happening. Different if they were little.
Mom shrugs her shoulders and really behaves like a child herself
no she does not, she is not the problem here at all.
@@rekitaknowles1172 You're joking right
It does a lot of damage and stress to kids when you tell them things like we might not make the house payment tomorrow. She’s 16 worried about a million other things. The mother sits their ignorant of the fact that she’s causing undue stress to her kids not good.
Look. He didnt rip anything from them. If they wanted to go to that school bad enough. They would've went.
She doesn't get it
That Mother is a user and is coaching the daughters!
sounds like mom is a narcissist
And the father is a deadbeat drunk who refuses to support his children.
He is missing the whole concept that they have no food therefore these kids are old enough to understand money is short.
Her child came out of pocket with the texts.
So basically you should never tell your kids about money or bills until the day they hit 18? That seems like strange advice considering being a teenager is preparing you for adulthood, but you can't know any adult stuff until you're already an adult?
Exactly, deluded privilege.
Child support is for the kids not the gas bill.
Her 16 & 18 yr old do not need a stay at home mommy. Mom is just too entitled to get a job
First of all, many kids see their parents struggle! Is it better to have a situation where one day you have a house and the next day you don't because you're up worried about where the payment is when your spouse decides not to pay the bills? Kids THAT AGE should understand when things are happening so they don't end up surprised, IF the parents are still married! If they are separated, then each parent has to reach a point where they hold their own, but if you live with your spouse, their father, then sometimes you have to approach things as a family. I personally would not involve my child in such things no matter what they age. However, kids see your hurts! You don't want to be sitting and upset because you can't pay the mortgage and then LIE to your kid! If you can't pay it and the other parent is supposed to be helping, then that affects the child and sometimes you may have to communicate why you can't stay in a particular house or what is going on. When I was little, I discovered my mother was only getting 9 dollars for child support! One day one of the checks came and I put it up to the window to see what it was. It was for 9 dollars. I knew my father sent child support. My mother never told me the amount. After I saw that, I became TERRIBLY worried about my mother. I stopped asking her for EVERYTHING! When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING! I vowed that the moment I was old enough to get a job, I would get one so I didn't have to be a burden to her. I started adding everything I knew she was doing and I was worried she wouldn't have enough money, so I didn't want to hurt her feelings by asking for things. As soon as I could, I got a job so I could buy my own school clothes. The school went on trips and prior to my job, I didn't even bring the slips home to tell her. I would just tell the school I couldn't go or, if my mother found out about the trip, I would say I didn't want to go. I think Dr. Phil was too rough on the mother given the situation. The guy is punching holes in doors. It isn't like you can hide his type of abuse!
16 and you count her Child?! I was in 14th when had sick mother and 5 Children to depend on me in the full livelihood😊 Rental house, Schools, food and cloths with all bills😎
She’s coaching them kids
My mother and father always talk about the bills in front of us kids. They would argue about money and how were they going to pay the power bill or any bill well this caused a lot of strain on us kids we will go to sleep at night sometimes crying because we were worried so much about the power bill not getting paid. THIS CAUSED PRETTY MUCH ALL OF US TO HAVE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IN OUR ADULT LIVES. I KNOW ALL OF US WORRY ABOUT MONEY EVEN THOUGH WE MAY NOT BE IN A SITUATION WHERE WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT. I worried about money even when I was making six figures a year. So Dr Phil is right about not putting children in a position to deal with adult issues
I agree about Dr.Phils 2 rules. My mom would often tell me that we needed to save money and eat less tho we had a fridge full of food and plenty of money to eat but this automatically made me stop eating. Her finances had nothing to do with me. It was mostly she felt guilt for spending too much money at Marshalls and made it my problem. I wasn't spending money but she wanted me to share the burden of responsibility with her since the divorce when I was 7
Mom is lazy and doesn’t want to work.
These kids are being treated as girlfriends, this Mom feeds off of her being the victim yet refuses to help herself
Sorry "Phil," some "children," are more mature than others and are included in the family dynamics!
This father has a responsibility. He wants to run from that. At least he is NOT killing them to get out of these responsibilities. He is more than a deadbeat. He is not a man. Dr Phil has no clue.
Bad mother
She’s is an idiot, he is completely right about not speaking or burdening children with adult or family issues beyond control.
My parents did it with me and it was a horrible feeling, something you can’t fix
Yo Dr not all people have mansions and high payed nannies like you.Her kids are not stupid not understand and see wtf huppen
Woah! There are resources out there to deal with your hysterics and anger. You are prime Antifa fodder.
Ya dr Phil you understand no food in your home
They are not children,.
I don’t see an issue with going over bills with your child and letting them in on the tough truths that are hidden from most children.
I wish my parents would have showed me the reality of bills when I was younger.
I agree with going over the bills and letting them know about tough truths. However, sharing the stress you have with your children when they are not emotionally equipped to recover from it is not okay.
Teaching children about bills and budgeting is one thing, having them handle it for two adults is ridiculous though. They should not be involved. Kids should be kids and this is so inappropriate
Just stresses the kid out
I get what dr Phil is saying 100 percent but I do feel he came across a little harsh honestly. But still keep your children out of it. Although I’m sure that’s extremely hard to do when your kids are teenagers and can understand everything fully. I understand both sides.
There's just no comments
I’m here
he looks like phil mitchell from eastenders
There’s no comments someone lmk when there is any
there is comments
We can tell our burden to our children...it helps them to grow with much more serious..they look life with much more responsibilities..irresponsible father is creating trauma in the mind of all fami,y members..mother can share her mental trauma with her children...otherwise she may die with heart attack..Indian rule is like that .lie sent children to buy rice and other household items..they travel with their cycle to purchase household items from shops miles away from village..they travel miles to pay water, electricity bills..
Toxic Femininity
Dr Phil’s problem is he is only able to see things through “his” view and “his” lenses rather than what someone else may be going through. He preaches about people who need control and power when he is always the one who needs control and power and he saw an opportunity with an extremely fragile woman on his stage and took advantage of her fragile state and made her look weak and stupid.
Go get a job
Thats was my childhood
I'm spiderman
Spooderman
Her forehead doe
5 head
Dr Phil is delusional. They’re hardly children. It’s honestly insulting to say to them “how do you know all of this” when it comes to finances that pertain to them. It would be one thing if they were 5, but they’re TEENAGERS. 🤦🏽♂️
Just goes to show his privilege
Sometimes dr Phil’s methods are off 🥴 not everyone has the luxury to leave kids at home. Teens get curious and they get into adult business on their own. I don’t agree with the way he made the mom feel like she was at fault
You wrong on this one Dr Phil.
Dr Phil am not agree with you about 2 rules , sometimes young need to see the life reality so they don’t misunderstand the life and know how to deal with it Am not agree with you mom with her young girls share the life
Hmm