I'm older and I have seen this a LOT. One guy told me (and he looked NOTHING like his picture) "oh well I thought you accept me even once we met". After hearing your story, it makes me want to hug you, in a non-creepy way. One of my best friends is just like you and keeps asking why it is so difficult to meet just for coffee. When he does, he either gets ghosted or blocked. I wish I could explain this but I will never understand the psychology of these mind games. I told him that this is world wide because I've seen similar stories from guys in Ireland and Turkey. All we can do is keep loving and being true to ourselves. It sucks to have to deal with this but I am off of most apps now. I get MAYBE 1% response on Scruff. I got rid of Grindr and Hornet long ago.
I tried Grindr for some time and after so many people tried catfishing me I just quit, did a lot of harm to my mental health, so I totally understand how you feel :(
As an Indian college educated nerdy guy, it left me depressed and so lonely. It’s better to be alone and learning how to be alone with a few pets than trying to meet a guy. The ones that do come chasing after me are the ones I’m not attracted to.
Richie, this is the kind of golden honesty and vulnerability with some distilled wisdom by the end of your sharing that I’ve come to value in what and how you share. Blessings!! John
Thanks for posting this. Everyone needs to be careful and everyone will have a bad experience, but keep learning and trying. U will find him (if u have not yet). I wish u the best. (I found my boyfriend on Match and so far so good.)
Richie, I am sorry for the bad experience. It just shows that there are bad people out there, and you have to learn to trust your gut, and realize that the world is not always truthful and take each new experience SLOWELY and realize that there are nice people out there
Hi Richie! This was a great video and I am so glad you shared it. It really sucks that people catfish and aren't honest online. What I love about you is that you are one of the most honest people I've seen throughout all my time watching RUclips or talking to guys on Grindr and whatnot. Thanks for being awesome, Richie! :)
Love seeing you put your truth/ voice out there! (: Maybe you could do an extension of this video with some tips on how to tell if someone is catfishing? LOVE YOUUUU SFM
Richie, life is a continual series of learning experiences. This was good for you from that respect. You got a liar and con artist. It hurts being conned, but you came out wiser. That dude was a creep. You will meet some great men out there--we're out there. In my opinion the lesson is to quit Gridr or really get to know the guy before you meet him (always in a public place). Your video is helping hundreds of us. You're a great-looking and sweet dude--you'll have no trouble finding the right man (if you haven't already). We've all been there ourselves. PS--It looks like we live in the same state.
I'm sorry you went through that. Sadly, it is common. As a 50-something gay man, I have seen both sides. Back in the day before social media, internet, and email I tried newspaper personal ads looking for a partner, not hookups, and experienced pretty much the same thing as you describe. Now, 30-some years later, I've tried online services, always put my real picture and stats on, but have still been catfished or just had guys looking to hookup. I just don't understand it, myself, why so much of the gay community is still like that in these days of more freedoms, acceptance, and rights. But it isn't just the gay community, either. I guess just be cautious and stay true to yourself and if something doesn't sound right it probably isn't. [[[hugs]]]
Very smart young man!! Sad to say, but you hit the nail on the head. I've been around since before social media and I don't think it's made it easier at all. In fact, in a lot of cities that would have had a gay bar or two, don't have one because no one needs to go there to meet like you had to in the past. Stay positive buddy,!
I'm glad you figured this out now and not when you're 50, it's hard out here man but stick to your guns.. You know the old saying why Buy the cow WHEN you can get the milk for free... There's nothing wrong with ❤ loving and protecting yourself... Hooking up just leaves you empty inside stay strong ..😭😭 Try meeting someone the old fashioned way get to know them a lot because people wear many different masks till they get what they want. Be careful out here .. Sending you 🙏🙏🙏. GOD BLESS YOU ..
Hello Richie, thank you for always sharing such positive content. I too had my first and last Grinder experience that didn't end well NOT AT ALL but I learn a lot about myself through that experience.
Richie West -- I am sooo sorry to hear that you got done that way -- it really touched home with me as well -- I have been done the exact same way too -- and it hurt me as well -- Don't you ever settle for less -- YOU are a good guy and your heart is in the right place -- YOU will find somebody right for YOU -- just give it time and try to have patience -- I know it is tough -- I do totally understand YOU !!
You’re beautiful 😍. Grindr is totally not the best place to meet anyone. Any of the gay sites out there would be considered in my book a toxic mess. Keep you standards and be safe and live 4 love. It will come.
Great video Richie. Very open and honest.Grindr..........Yeah, pretty much nothing more than a meat market. As are almost all online apps really. And for sure you deserve better than you got. But I can guarantee it goes both ways. Young guys catfish older guys as well. And my favorite line is..... How much is it worth to you daddy? To which I reply..... I'm a sweet daddy, not a sugar daddy. LOL Sad to say, but anymore I don't even know where to look for something lasting. Think a lot is like the old saying goes.......... If you're looking, you'll never find it. But when you're not looking and least expect it.........That's when things just happen. Anyhow....... Keep your head up Richie, and your eyes open. You're a very special young man, and deserve the best. Your prince is out there. Just let nature take it's course and you'll find him soon enough.
You did the Right thing by Leaving, I always ask for lots of Pics... At Least You had the common sense to cut him off... Thank You For Sharing, Ur very Cute BTW.
You've got to remember that old single men weren't always that way...and that many of our generation have lost loved ones to AIDS....in the 80's and 90's I went to dozens and dozens of funerals for friends, co-workers, and yes, even a couple boyfriends. Also, those of us who do want that relationship sometimes find partners who can't stay faithful...and you have to decide if you want someone with you or want your self respect....you've got a long life ahead of you, but don't make judgements on a person's character based on whether they are older and single...because life can throw some serious shit at you over a few decades...just be thankful for today's more accepting social atmosphere, have fun, make friends...and that one person may show up, which I hope does happen for you.
Thanks for sharing that story! Sorry you had that bad experience, but you've definitely learned from it and I think it's made you a better person. Those online dating aps can really suck sometimes. And you are right about one other thing...being older and alone really sucks. Don't play the game and wait forever-find someone when you're in your 20's and be happy. Wish I could have given myself that advice when I was in college. LOL! :)
Grindr is for hit ups or hook ups friendships with benefits. There are nice conversations but leads to fornication or heavy petting. Tinder not as much but it is scarier because women know how to fake it. I rather get to see him/her in person, make an assessment, and see if it would be worth going out. Because that initial contact in person already helps you make an educated guess without trying to be nice.
That’s very unfortunate. But I’m glad you used this as a learning experience, and I plan on learning from this as well. I personally would tell that man, “you know, I don’t have problems with people that are older than me. But one thing that’s really important to me for relationships, is honesty. And you aren’t that at all.” And then I’d walk away. It’s good to know things like this, especially for me. I’m still in the closet, and only 14. I’d prefer to not have experiences like this, so thank you for having the courage to share yours.
Good video. I'm 55 yes I'm lonely it's not because of hookups it's because of my life partner of 20 years died from epilepsy. We were both monogamous. It's been three years since he is passed away and I have yet to do what you call a hook up. I know I'm not the only old gay man that's lonely. And I know I am not the only old man that does not hook up. Stay safe and keep true to yourself
That was such a shitty thing for that guy to do. I tried Grindr quite a few times and only ever met one guy and that never went anywhere. Most people don't seem interested in carrying on a conversation and usually after a couple messages suddenly send nudes or asking to see some of you. Being socially awkward and not not being into going to clubs and such make it hard to meet guys for me, and not just for a hookup. I know how you feel. :( I, too, want a companion to spend my life with and wake up next to every morning. Grindr just ain't the place for that.
Really great, insightful view of hookup apps & (in many ways) gay dating in general. As I’ve gotten older my experiences with apps has gone from guys just wanting to hookup for sex to guys trying to scam me (assuming that because I’m 65 that I’m lonely, desperate… and gullible). In between there is that good, safe place. You sound like you know how to look for it. I’ve been lucky to have been in some great fairly long term relationships (7 years was the longest). You’re in a great time of societal changes and you’re still young with a positive view of what you want; time to fine tune it & try a few relationships; and even find that great love that you can marry & build a life with. I’m confident, from your thoughtful RUclips videos, that you’ll find it. 🙂 Enjoy the adventure!
I relate to this a lot. I know exactly what you feel. I’ve had a very similar experience. I’m in my last year in high school and I know how betrayed, angry and upset you feel. Im the same as you in the sense I don’t like hookups and I don’t but yes definitely a lot of guys just want to hookup and “take advantage” of especially younger people. I’m so sorry. 😔
sorry 4 ur experience, but life teaches some lessons faster than others. U seem candid, brave & 'adorable' if I may say! Both young & older guys are drawn to me. Most act their age. I've met 35yo's still unable 2 grow facial hair & wanna settle down. I love blonde/red hair, slender not too muscular, but honestly anyone grows on me. It's hard living in a MAJOR gay tourist city - US Census had Ft Lauderdale/Wilton Manors/Oakland Park, FL all w/gay mayors & in top 10 highest gay households, per capita (like West Hollywood/Palm Springs, CA). Aftr a degree @ Illinois State, I moved to Lauderdale-by-the-Sea & found all major sea ports, gay cruises, Seamen here 4 Fleet Week +mil Air/Sea show. Most cute guys live here from other states + tourists & men in uniform (as I was), that lasting relationships seen like a challenge, but never give up! What's ur major & where? -Joe
Richie West.."I've said this before. I don't do hookups. I'm not into that. I need to know the person first...." Also Richie West:.. Does "adult entertainment"..😶😶. Whateva is going on over the internet nowadays is fu*kin fantastic 🤣🤣🤣
Haha. I was literally thinking the same thing. "I don't hookup," says the adult film star with at least ten Grindr story times. Sweetheart, I think you're confused. 😄
Sorry to hear this..I am alone now after 18years with the same guy..he suddenly died after Cardiac arrest..now 3 years on I don't think I will meet anyone ..I did try Grindr but people are just like you say..even though I enclose a face pic I think i will take it down .I have lots viewing me..and crude messages ..not for me I like you're attitude..there is someone for you..carry on doing the th ings you enjoy..You have plenty of years ahead..xx
I'm VERY sorry this had to happen to you! I have learned earl on that anyone you meet online isn't real until they do a video call with you to confirm their identity. I would say that about 90% or more will stop talking to me as soon as I request a video call. And once they lie to you , how can you ever trust them again? Best of luck in the future!
You are so right!! I am 31 and no one on Grindr under 30, especially under 25 wants me. Even guys who are like 26 or 27 say on their profile, Nobody over 30. They are only a couple years away from 20 themselves!! Nor do older guys want me because they want the young ones. Even though I do not look my age. Everyone says I look between 19 and 25 all the time, but the number is what matters to them. Even the young guys who like older guys don't want me because I'm not old enough for them or don't look it. I'm like stuck in a no go zone or something. It's sad really. I just want someone to be with and everyone else just wants sex, just not with me because I don't fit the right type.. I don't care for hook ups and have only had sex with 8 people in my life. Too bad you aren't around here Richie, but then again.. maybe you are, not sure where you live. Ohio here. Seems like we are each others type.
I'm so sorry you went through meeting a catfish as well, happened to me in 2012 when I was also new to using gay online apps. I put my defences afterwards that's for sure!
Hey #JourneyManWest My Name Is Dwight From Louisville Kentucky I Am A Huge Big Fan Of Your Videos And They Are Excellent This Is The Best Channel On RUclips
Aww, we've all had neg experiences, but living in Ft Lauderdale, we have an ultra high gay population & beach/clubs to safely meet at. I'm a sucker for redheads & love how short u do it (like that long vid shaving peach fuzz, lol). I missed 1st semester of college being in Air Force boot camp & served the Air National Guard 6yrs, concurrently while in college, paid for by the Gov't. You're adorable, you'll go far (maybe not w/Grindr) but u seem 2 learn fast!
Hey Richie. Why is it so hard for us to understand that words are meaningless, and pictures often lie? Online dating is hell on earth! The best way to meet decent people is to talk to those who live in your community. Just say hello and smile. Always meet in public places until you get to know someone a little bit. Demons are running rampant throughout this earth these days. Learn to think with your OTHER head from now on!
Hi Ritchie, Older gay guy here, liked your video a lot. Glad to hear that you do like older men. In my younger years I liked them too, but, it wasn't a sexual thing. I just knew that they were smart and had experience in a lot of things. If that guy had tinted windows where you couldn't see him from inside your car, you would have been wiser to "stay in your car". If he had balls enough to present himself as someone who he clearly wasn't; according to your descriptions of him,. who knows what else he might have had on his mind if he had succeeded in getting you into his car or wherever he might have planned to take you. Anyway,...I can't help preaching to you young cute guys
It's a shame this stuff happens, our humanity is in a strange and bizarre place right now on so many levels, it's probably always been this way but it’s just now that with everything at our finger tips, anyone can be whatever they want to be all hidden behind our pixel dust walls of this thing called cyber realities hidden behind our keyboards and I'm not at all sure humanity was quite ready to take on this new medium of exchange and yet here we are mired deep inside the largest rabbit hole of our time. On a good note, each day we all learn more about this fairly new environment that we have been placed upon and now we must learn how to conduct ourselves within it, I believe that one day, things may be better though time and experience, personally, I tend to chalk it all up to evolution and as we know, evolution never stops, it's an ever wondering experience one after another and where it stops, no one knows. We are under a constant barrage of basic human and sexual challenges, some of these basic human traits have become weaponized for political gain of one party to another, we are constantly being bombarded with crap like pronouns and the now 3 to unlimited non-existent genders, in essence we are at war here in many ways, however, this war mostly runs invisible, this war is not being fought with guns, but rather its being fought with emotions instead of logic and this is a very dangerous place for sure. It's no secret that we have many, many problems here on spaceship earth, but eventually, we will all become better as a result of these types seemingly endless challenges, it's true what they say, failure is one of our greatest teachers, there has never once been made a good pilot though calm weather... quite the contrary. it's tough to go through these things sure, but think of it this way, this is the school of hard knocks, it's where these lessons lead us is the important thing. I hope these words bring insights and thoughts to anyone reading them, always remember, nothing and I do mean nothing, is at all what it appears to be on the surface. there are many and multiple levels to everything, think of it like a video game in a simulated reality that also has multiple levels, it's the same in life. With that all said, I'll leave you with this, you are perfect in every way just the way you are, truth no matter what that may be is inside of you, nothing you need in this life resides outside of yourself, its all internal. find that sweat spot and you will know without doubt who you truly are. and this my friends is where the real magic happens... “If what we think we know is a Drop, then what we don’t know becomes an Ocean” peace
I'm late to the party again, but here's my two cents. It sucks that you were catfished and shame on the old guy that tried to get you in bed. I left the party when you essentially started bashing (maybe that's too strong of a word), or shaming older guys. When I was younger, most of my friends gave me crap for talking with older men. You would swear that someone turned on a kitchen light at night because those same friends would scatter like roaches whenever one of these men approached us. But not me, and I'd be the butt of their jokes the entire night. My response was simply, one day you will be older too. Those same guys are patrolling the bars and cruising spots and are now on the receiving end of this stupid behavior. I'm not naive and I know there are still some mature men trolling for younger guys, but not all of them are trying to score. The gay community can be so cruel and have the nerve to get angry when not accepted. Gays will laugh at you, treat you like crap and then dismiss you if you don't fit their perfect mold. Everyone's beauty will fade at some point. What this guy did is horrible and he probably knows it deep inside, but when you are older and maybe even a little lonely, you just might stoop to doing things that you would never in a million years dream about doing with the hopes of finally meeting a someone friendly since the gay community as a whole is punishing them for getting older. I mean no disrespect to anyone and have enjoyed your channel for a while now. Was excited to hear who you really are since we only get a storied background from the industry. This one is hitting too close to home for my friends and I've experienced it in the past as well here and there. But I don't worry about it too much because I've always been kind of a loner and enjoy my independence too much. Just a little food for thought. BTW, you were one of my favorites on BSB, and am happy that you have emerged in great spirits and are doing well for yourself, a task that not everyone has accomplished.
Anything more than 10 years is an age inappropriate relationship. A guy more than 10 years older than you telling you that you are cute is not a compliment. You have no duty to explain yourself in terms of people you like or don't like. Life is a journey. It is not a destination. You are going to have people constantly joining your life journey and leaving your life journey. The key to you being a happy person is understanding that people join and leave your life journey at the exact time they should. A five minute discussion with a guy on a train platform can have more significance to your life than a guy that lived with you for five years. Everything you do in your life, you first have to do in your head. That is the source of expectations and disappointment.
@D'Afrique Rousseau I'm glad you found something that works. That is what I want everyone to find. But, there would not be a psychological term for it if it wasn't a thing.
Unfortunately, there is no magic potion or fool proof way to meet nice guys for just friendship, let alone for BF material. This is the reality in life, be it gay or str8. It's happened to ALL of us at one time or another. Best advice is DON'T give up and DON'T change who you are, or what you want.
When I was searching it was by pen friends only and met quite a few guys but none were a success! A couple made nice fiends but not for bed and one had been abused and was contemplating suicide when he got older!
Grindr or Adam, those r strictly hook up for sex sites 1st w/ a chance to b friends later but usually not. Older guys gac always had this desire to younger guys & will do that. Try meet up groups. It often ends up about looks but u get a chance at friends 1st. Try not hold looks so high to know a person. Looks grow old too
I am sorry for what happened to you. That is just awful, and the man who did that to you should be ashamed of himself. I do hope that you find a good husband one day, as monogamy should be valued over mindless casual hookups. Romantic love and lifelong commitment are beautiful, and more valuable than hookups. With that shared though, we all have sexual needs, and hooking up, as well as having friends with benefits while still single isn't necessarily bad. As a bit of insight from a gay man in his 30s as well, 35 is not "old" by any means, and a person--no matter what age one is, should be able to enjoy sex in any capacity, including hook ups or friends with benefits. I do understand the point that you are making, and yes, by 35, a person SHOULD be looking to settle down with a permanent spouse, instead of just hook up. However, to shame older people for hooking up is not right either, and being in ones 30s or 40s is not really "old." When a person my age hears that, we feel that it would be like an eight-year-old telling a teen or twenty something that he/she/they are "old" or "ancient," when that is NOT true at all! You are a nice guy and all, but your statement did come off as ageist. That would be like telling a woman that she can't be sexy and sexually active as she pleases, just because she is 35 and up. The twenty somethings who make it out of their twenties alive will know what I am talking about when they get to their 30s. I just had to "take license" here by making an important correction, because ageism in the gay male demographic is sadly very prevalent--including on apps like Grindr. If someone 35 and up wants to be sexually active with a younger gay man who is a consenting adult, what crime is there in that? End the stigma of ageism! Calling somebody in their 30s and 40s "old" is naive. That demographic is certainly "older"" but still young and not "old."
Also... Many times the have an excuse as to why they can't do a video call, so I ask that they do a selfie holding a paper under their chin with their name and the date on it. They usually get offended and start insulting me at that point...
i met a guy for lunch a long time ago. back in the days of gay.com. i liked his pix and he said he was my age. met with him and he 20 years older and at least 50lbs heavier than his pix. at the end of the meal, he asked me to go to his place. i said no thanx and ge acted surprised. i told him he didnt look like his pix and wasnt interested in anything physical. he called me shallow and said i would never find true love. i walked away and met my bf a few weeks later
hi dude - always insist on at least one video call - ass holes are out there waiting for the young naeve kids - and don't worry - i was moved by your emotional's - guys like you will always find love - just be patient , don't let the assholes to change you .
THE BIG PROBLEM HERE IS THAT MOST GAYS (NOT ALL) JUST WANT HOOK UPS NOT RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO GET HURT OR DEAL WITH THR DRAMA THAT GOES WITH IT.
Next time your not sure about whether or not their profile pic is real or not, ask them to send a pic holding something of your choice. If nothing gets sent, then...bye!
I've been catfished multiple times. But one time there was this hot ripped smart country guy and he was actually real and we spoke for a month. but the thing is I figured out...he was into animals 🙂🤢.
as Rod i found out he likes...dogs and cats... after I had broken up with him because I felt he didn't make enough time for me lol. The things is, before I broke up with him, he tried to make it clear that he believed that everyone should be able to do whatever theg want as long as it doesn't cause harm to someone else. After I left hime because I felt he wasn't giving me enough attention, I saw a post from him hinting that he was into..."the familly cat" 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮
You have joined a life experience called reality ime 59 never desired younger guys have experienced the Liars, users & manipulators in partners and so called friends gave up on partners 2003 grinder recently for 3rd time since deleted had 300km as nearby and over 50 yrs got 26 yr olds & dudes 3000 kms away like myself and my own solitary self never lonely .....ime so lucky it’s lucky dip shit life!😁🤣😘
Sorry you had a bad experience.Grindr is all about sex.If you want to meet someone nice, go to a bar or a club.At least you will have a conversation first.
The problem with many young gay men is that they have false illusions about life. The man from Grindr may feel insecure. Unable to find someone. You should have more empathy. Young guys are so shallow.
Hey buddy I tried out the gay Field once and had a very very bad experience very bad funny you never know someone till it's to late yes so it's happens to other guys so I've tried it and would never go back to that I'm sorry but there is a bad vibe in the gay world I was shocked how it really was few are great some are ok and so e are bad sorry Again
A Russian did the 2 picture scam on my $3500 later he was not on the plane at the Atlanta Airport I reported him to the Russian embassy for fraud.when I called him the voice did not match the face. The picture of Yurick was so super hot. Yea it was a Russian models picture.....
I'm older and I have seen this a LOT. One guy told me (and he looked NOTHING like his picture) "oh well I thought you accept me even once we met". After hearing your story, it makes me want to hug you, in a non-creepy way. One of my best friends is just like you and keeps asking why it is so difficult to meet just for coffee. When he does, he either gets ghosted or blocked. I wish I could explain this but I will never understand the psychology of these mind games. I told him that this is world wide because I've seen similar stories from guys in Ireland and Turkey.
All we can do is keep loving and being true to ourselves. It sucks to have to deal with this but I am off of most apps now. I get MAYBE 1% response on Scruff. I got rid of Grindr and Hornet long ago.
I tried Grindr for some time and after so many people tried catfishing me I just quit, did a lot of harm to my mental health, so I totally understand how you feel :(
As an Indian college educated nerdy guy, it left me depressed and so lonely. It’s better to be alone and learning how to be alone with a few pets than trying to meet a guy. The ones that do come chasing after me are the ones I’m not attracted to.
Richie, this is the kind of golden honesty and vulnerability with some distilled wisdom by the end of your sharing that I’ve come to value in what and how you share. Blessings!! John
Thanks for posting this. Everyone needs to be careful and everyone will have a bad experience, but keep learning and trying. U will find him (if u have not yet). I wish u the best. (I found my boyfriend on Match and so far so good.)
Richie, I am sorry for the bad experience. It just shows that there are bad people out there, and you have to learn to trust your gut, and realize that the world is not always truthful and take each new experience SLOWELY and realize that there are nice people out there
Hi Richie! This was a great video and I am so glad you shared it. It really sucks that people catfish and aren't honest online. What I love about you is that you are one of the most honest people I've seen throughout all my time watching RUclips or talking to guys on Grindr and whatnot. Thanks for being awesome, Richie! :)
Love seeing you put your truth/ voice out there! (: Maybe you could do an extension of this video with some tips on how to tell if someone is catfishing? LOVE YOUUUU SFM
Allie Mason thank you and good idea!
Sorry
Richie, life is a continual series of learning experiences. This was good for you from that respect. You got a liar and con artist. It hurts being conned, but you came out wiser. That dude was a creep. You will meet some great men out there--we're out there. In my opinion the lesson is to quit Gridr or really get to know the guy before you meet him (always in a public place). Your video is helping hundreds of us. You're a great-looking and sweet dude--you'll have no trouble finding the right man (if you haven't already). We've all been there ourselves. PS--It looks like we live in the same state.
you’re so cute, sorry to hear this happened to you😔
I'm sorry you went through that. Sadly, it is common. As a 50-something gay man, I have seen both sides. Back in the day before social media, internet, and email I tried newspaper personal ads looking for a partner, not hookups, and experienced pretty much the same thing as you describe. Now, 30-some years later, I've tried online services, always put my real picture and stats on, but have still been catfished or just had guys looking to hookup. I just don't understand it, myself, why so much of the gay community is still like that in these days of more freedoms, acceptance, and rights. But it isn't just the gay community, either. I guess just be cautious and stay true to yourself and if something doesn't sound right it probably isn't. [[[hugs]]]
It's not just gay people by any means
Very smart young man!! Sad to say, but you hit the nail on the head. I've been around since before social media and I don't think it's made it easier at all. In fact, in a lot of cities that would have had a gay bar or two, don't have one because no one needs to go there to meet like you had to in the past. Stay positive buddy,!
I'm glad you figured this out now and not when you're 50, it's hard out here man but stick to your guns.. You know the old saying why Buy the cow WHEN you can get the milk for free... There's nothing wrong with ❤ loving and protecting yourself... Hooking up just leaves you empty inside stay strong ..😭😭 Try meeting someone the old fashioned way get to know them a lot because
people wear many different masks
till they get what they want. Be careful out here .. Sending you
🙏🙏🙏. GOD BLESS YOU ..
Hello Richie, thank you for always sharing such positive content. I too had my first and last Grinder experience that didn't end well NOT AT ALL but I learn a lot about myself through that experience.
Richie West -- I am sooo sorry to hear that you got done that way -- it really touched home with me as well -- I have been done the exact same way too -- and it hurt me as well -- Don't you ever settle for less -- YOU are a good guy and your heart is in the right place -- YOU will find somebody right for YOU -- just give it time and try to have patience -- I know it is tough -- I do totally understand YOU !!
You’re beautiful 😍. Grindr is totally not the best place to meet anyone. Any of the gay sites out there would be considered in my book a toxic mess. Keep you standards and be safe and live 4 love. It will come.
Great video Richie. Very open and honest.Grindr..........Yeah, pretty much nothing more than a meat market. As are almost all online apps really. And for sure you deserve better than you got. But I can guarantee it goes both ways. Young guys catfish older guys as well. And my favorite line is..... How much is it worth to you daddy? To which I reply..... I'm a sweet daddy, not a sugar daddy. LOL Sad to say, but anymore I don't even know where to look for something lasting. Think a lot is like the old saying goes.......... If you're looking, you'll never find it. But when you're not looking and least expect it.........That's when things just happen. Anyhow....... Keep your head up Richie, and your eyes open. You're a very special young man, and deserve the best. Your prince is out there. Just let nature take it's course and you'll find him soon enough.
You did the Right thing by Leaving, I always ask for lots of Pics... At Least You had the common sense to cut him off... Thank You For Sharing, Ur very Cute BTW.
Just stay positive dude.
You've got to remember that old single men weren't always that way...and that many of our generation have lost loved ones to AIDS....in the 80's and 90's I went to dozens and dozens of funerals for friends, co-workers, and yes, even a couple boyfriends. Also, those of us who do want that relationship sometimes find partners who can't stay faithful...and you have to decide if you want someone with you or want your self respect....you've got a long life ahead of you, but don't make judgements on a person's character based on whether they are older and single...because life can throw some serious shit at you over a few decades...just be thankful for today's more accepting social atmosphere, have fun, make friends...and that one person may show up, which I hope does happen for you.
I was impressed that you showed your feelings online and i hope you find that rare gay guy that does know and want to settle down
Thanks for sharing that story! Sorry you had that bad experience, but you've definitely learned from it and I think it's made you a better person. Those online dating aps can really suck sometimes. And you are right about one other thing...being older and alone really sucks. Don't play the game and wait forever-find someone when you're in your 20's and be happy. Wish I could have given myself that advice when I was in college. LOL! :)
Grindr is for hit ups or hook ups friendships with benefits. There are nice conversations but leads to fornication or heavy petting. Tinder not as much but it is scarier because women know how to fake it. I rather get to see him/her in person, make an assessment, and see if it would be worth going out. Because that initial contact in person already helps you make an educated guess without trying to be nice.
That’s very unfortunate. But I’m glad you used this as a learning experience, and I plan on learning from this as well. I personally would tell that man, “you know, I don’t have problems with people that are older than me. But one thing that’s really important to me for relationships, is honesty. And you aren’t that at all.” And then I’d walk away. It’s good to know things like this, especially for me. I’m still in the closet, and only 14. I’d prefer to not have experiences like this, so thank you for having the courage to share yours.
I'm an older man and I tell that right upfront. Life is about learning and improving yourself
Good video. I'm 55 yes I'm lonely it's not because of hookups it's because of my life partner of 20 years died from epilepsy. We were both monogamous. It's been three years since he is passed away and I have yet to do what you call a hook up. I know I'm not the only old gay man that's lonely. And I know I am not the only old man that does not hook up. Stay safe and keep true to yourself
upinarmsusa bless your heart thank you for your feedback ❤️
Check out stay with family on you tube and the web. Gay camping you can get to meet with true people who could be like you.
That was such a shitty thing for that guy to do. I tried Grindr quite a few times and only ever met one guy and that never went anywhere. Most people don't seem interested in carrying on a conversation and usually after a couple messages suddenly send nudes or asking to see some of you. Being socially awkward and not not being into going to clubs and such make it hard to meet guys for me, and not just for a hookup. I know how you feel. :( I, too, want a companion to spend my life with and wake up next to every morning. Grindr just ain't the place for that.
Really great, insightful view of hookup apps & (in many ways) gay dating in general. As I’ve gotten older my experiences with apps has gone from guys just wanting to hookup for sex to guys trying to scam me (assuming that because I’m 65 that I’m lonely, desperate… and gullible). In between there is that good, safe place. You sound like you know how to look for it. I’ve been lucky to have been in some great fairly long term relationships (7 years was the longest). You’re in a great time of societal changes and you’re still young with a positive view of what you want; time to fine tune it & try a few relationships; and even find that great love that you can marry & build a life with. I’m confident, from your thoughtful RUclips videos, that you’ll find it. 🙂 Enjoy the adventure!
That sucks! A lot of older guys do that. Even at my age that has happened to me. I always am me. Sorry you went through that experience.
I’m impressed by your insights. !!!! Atta boy!!!
I relate to this a lot. I know exactly what you feel. I’ve had a very similar experience. I’m in my last year in high school and I know how betrayed, angry and upset you feel. Im the same as you in the sense I don’t like hookups and I don’t but yes definitely a lot of guys just want to hookup and “take advantage” of especially younger people. I’m so sorry. 😔
That steering wheel is WORN!
If your over weight they judge you on Grindr too .
I'm 220 lbs and I have the butt they want too
sorry 4 ur experience, but life teaches some lessons faster than others. U seem candid, brave & 'adorable' if I may say! Both young & older guys are drawn to me. Most act their age. I've met 35yo's still unable 2 grow facial hair & wanna settle down. I love blonde/red hair, slender not too muscular, but honestly anyone grows on me. It's hard living in a MAJOR gay tourist city - US Census had Ft Lauderdale/Wilton Manors/Oakland Park, FL all w/gay mayors & in top 10 highest gay households, per capita (like West Hollywood/Palm Springs, CA). Aftr a degree @ Illinois State, I moved to Lauderdale-by-the-Sea & found all major sea ports, gay cruises, Seamen here 4 Fleet Week +mil Air/Sea show. Most cute guys live here from other states + tourists & men in uniform (as I was), that lasting relationships seen like a challenge, but never give up! What's ur major & where? -Joe
Richie West.."I've said this before. I don't do hookups. I'm not into that. I need to know the person first...."
Also Richie West:.. Does "adult entertainment"..😶😶. Whateva is going on over the internet nowadays is fu*kin fantastic 🤣🤣🤣
Haha. I was literally thinking the same thing. "I don't hookup," says the adult film star with at least ten Grindr story times. Sweetheart, I think you're confused. 😄
Sorry to hear this..I am alone now after 18years with the same guy..he suddenly died after Cardiac arrest..now 3 years on I don't think I will meet anyone ..I did try Grindr but people are just like you say..even though I enclose a face pic I think i will take it down .I have lots viewing me..and crude messages ..not for me
I like you're attitude..there is someone for you..carry on doing the th ings you enjoy..You have plenty of years ahead..xx
Being visually impaired, I don't trust anybody online but, I sometimes fall into doing things I shouldn't do
So easy to be taken in before you’ve worldly wise! 😂
I'm VERY sorry this had to happen to you!
I have learned earl on that anyone you meet online isn't real until they do a video call with you to confirm their identity. I would say that about 90% or more will stop talking to me as soon as I request a video call. And once they lie to you , how can you ever trust them again?
Best of luck in the future!
It's best to meet people in person so you can see their personality. Those sits are for hook ups
You are so right!! I am 31 and no one on Grindr under 30, especially under 25 wants me. Even guys who are like 26 or 27 say on their profile, Nobody over 30. They are only a couple years away from 20 themselves!! Nor do older guys want me because they want the young ones. Even though I do not look my age. Everyone says I look between 19 and 25 all the time, but the number is what matters to them. Even the young guys who like older guys don't want me because I'm not old enough for them or don't look it. I'm like stuck in a no go zone or something. It's sad really. I just want someone to be with and everyone else just wants sex, just not with me because I don't fit the right type.. I don't care for hook ups and have only had sex with 8 people in my life. Too bad you aren't around here Richie, but then again.. maybe you are, not sure where you live. Ohio here. Seems like we are each others type.
I'm so sorry you went through meeting a catfish as well, happened to me in 2012 when I was also new to using gay online apps. I put my defences afterwards that's for sure!
Hey #JourneyManWest My Name Is Dwight From Louisville Kentucky
I Am A Huge Big Fan Of Your Videos And They Are Excellent This Is The Best Channel On RUclips
Dwight Slemmons thank you soo much :)
Aww, we've all had neg experiences, but living in Ft Lauderdale, we have an ultra high gay population & beach/clubs to safely meet at. I'm a sucker for redheads & love how short u do it (like that long vid shaving peach fuzz, lol). I missed 1st semester of college being in Air Force boot camp & served the Air National Guard 6yrs, concurrently while in college, paid for by the Gov't. You're adorable, you'll go far (maybe not w/Grindr) but u seem 2 learn fast!
I come from China and i heard your story impressed with you. Come on.
Hey Richie. Why is it so hard for us to understand that words are meaningless, and pictures often lie? Online dating is hell on earth! The best way to meet decent people is to talk to those who live in your community. Just say hello and smile. Always meet in public places until you get to know someone a little bit. Demons are running rampant throughout this earth these days. Learn to think with your OTHER head from now on!
Hi Ritchie,
Older gay guy here, liked your video a lot. Glad to hear that you do like older men. In my younger years I liked them too, but, it wasn't a sexual thing. I just knew that they were smart and had experience in a lot of things.
If that guy had tinted windows where you couldn't see him from inside your car, you would have been wiser to "stay in your car". If he had balls enough to present himself as someone who he clearly wasn't; according to your descriptions of him,. who knows what else he might have had on his mind if he had succeeded in getting you into his car or wherever he might have planned to take you.
Anyway,...I can't help preaching to you young cute guys
It's a shame this stuff happens, our humanity is in a strange and bizarre place right now on so many levels, it's probably always been this way but it’s just now that with everything at our finger tips, anyone can be whatever they want to be all hidden behind our pixel dust walls of this thing called cyber realities hidden behind our keyboards and I'm not at all sure humanity was quite ready to take on this new medium of exchange and yet here we are mired deep inside the largest rabbit hole of our time.
On a good note, each day we all learn more about this fairly new environment that we have been placed upon and now we must learn how to conduct ourselves within it, I believe that one day, things may be better though time and experience, personally, I tend to chalk it all up to evolution and as we know, evolution never stops, it's an ever wondering experience one after another and where it stops, no one knows.
We are under a constant barrage of basic human and sexual challenges, some of these basic human traits have become weaponized for political gain of one party to another, we are constantly being bombarded with crap like pronouns and the now 3 to unlimited non-existent genders, in essence we are at war here in many ways, however, this war mostly runs invisible, this war is not being fought with guns, but rather its being fought with emotions instead of logic and this is a very dangerous place for sure.
It's no secret that we have many, many problems here on spaceship earth, but eventually, we will all become better as a result of these types seemingly endless challenges, it's true what they say, failure is one of our greatest teachers, there has never once been made a good pilot though calm weather... quite the contrary.
it's tough to go through these things sure, but think of it this way, this is the school of hard knocks, it's where these lessons lead us is the important thing.
I hope these words bring insights and thoughts to anyone reading them, always remember, nothing and I do mean nothing, is at all what it appears to be on the surface. there are many and multiple levels to everything, think of it like a video game in a simulated reality that also has multiple levels, it's the same in life.
With that all said, I'll leave you with this, you are perfect in every way just the way you are, truth no matter what that may be is inside of you, nothing you need in this life resides outside of yourself, its all internal. find that sweat spot and you will know without doubt who you truly are. and this my friends is where the real magic happens...
“If what we think we know is a Drop, then what we don’t know becomes an Ocean”
peace
I'm late to the party again, but here's my two cents. It sucks that you were catfished and shame on the old guy that tried to get you in bed. I left the party when you essentially started bashing (maybe that's too strong of a word), or shaming older guys. When I was younger, most of my friends gave me crap for talking with older men. You would swear that someone turned on a kitchen light at night because those same friends would scatter like roaches whenever one of these men approached us. But not me, and I'd be the butt of their jokes the entire night. My response was simply, one day you will be older too. Those same guys are patrolling the bars and cruising spots and are now on the receiving end of this stupid behavior. I'm not naive and I know there are still some mature men trolling for younger guys, but not all of them are trying to score.
The gay community can be so cruel and have the nerve to get angry when not accepted. Gays will laugh at you, treat you like crap and then dismiss you if you don't fit their perfect mold. Everyone's beauty will fade at some point.
What this guy did is horrible and he probably knows it deep inside, but when you are older and maybe even a little lonely, you just might stoop to doing things that you would never in a million years dream about doing with the hopes of finally meeting a someone friendly since the gay community as a whole is punishing them for getting older.
I mean no disrespect to anyone and have enjoyed your channel for a while now. Was excited to hear who you really are since we only get a storied background from the industry. This one is hitting too close to home for my friends and I've experienced it in the past as well here and there. But I don't worry about it too much because I've always been kind of a loner and enjoy my independence too much. Just a little food for thought.
BTW, you were one of my favorites on BSB, and am happy that you have emerged in great spirits and are doing well for yourself, a task that not everyone has accomplished.
Anything more than 10 years is an age inappropriate relationship. A guy more than 10 years older than you telling you that you are cute is not a compliment. You have no duty to explain yourself in terms of people you like or don't like. Life is a journey. It is not a destination. You are going to have people constantly joining your life journey and leaving your life journey. The key to you being a happy person is understanding that people join and leave your life journey at the exact time they should. A five minute discussion with a guy on a train platform can have more significance to your life than a guy that lived with you for five years. Everything you do in your life, you first have to do in your head. That is the source of expectations and disappointment.
@D'Afrique Rousseau I'm glad you found something that works. That is what I want everyone to find. But, there would not be a psychological term for it if it wasn't a thing.
So rude ,so disrespectful .so not watermelon 😒
Unfortunately, there is no magic potion or fool proof way to meet nice guys for just friendship, let alone for BF material. This is the reality in life, be it gay or str8. It's happened to ALL of us at one time or another.
Best advice is DON'T give up and DON'T change who you are, or what you want.
I've only hooked up with 3 different guys on Grindr. Gotten bad vibes from a lot of men on there.
It’s not easy but keep good positive act
You are handsome. Be strong. Xx
When I was searching it was by pen friends only and met quite a few guys but none were a success!
A couple made nice fiends but not for bed and one had been abused and was contemplating suicide when he got older!
Grindr or Adam, those r strictly hook up for sex sites 1st w/ a chance to b friends later but usually not. Older guys gac always had this desire to younger guys & will do that. Try meet up groups. It often ends up about looks but u get a chance at friends 1st. Try not hold looks so high to know a person. Looks grow old too
I am sorry for what happened to you. That is just awful, and the man who did that to you should be ashamed of himself. I do hope that you find a good husband one day, as monogamy should be valued over mindless casual hookups. Romantic love and lifelong commitment are beautiful, and more valuable than hookups. With that shared though, we all have sexual needs, and hooking up, as well as having friends with benefits while still single isn't necessarily bad. As a bit of insight from a gay man in his 30s as well, 35 is not "old" by any means, and a person--no matter what age one is, should be able to enjoy sex in any capacity, including hook ups or friends with benefits. I do understand the point that you are making, and yes, by 35, a person SHOULD be looking to settle down with a permanent spouse, instead of just hook up. However, to shame older people for hooking up is not right either, and being in ones 30s or 40s is not really "old." When a person my age hears that, we feel that it would be like an eight-year-old telling a teen or twenty something that he/she/they are "old" or "ancient," when that is NOT true at all! You are a nice guy and all, but your statement did come off as ageist. That would be like telling a woman that she can't be sexy and sexually active as she pleases, just because she is 35 and up. The twenty somethings who make it out of their twenties alive will know what I am talking about when they get to their 30s. I just had to "take license" here by making an important correction, because ageism in the gay male demographic is sadly very prevalent--including on apps like Grindr. If someone 35 and up wants to be sexually active with a younger gay man who is a consenting adult, what crime is there in that? End the stigma of ageism! Calling somebody in their 30s and 40s "old" is naive. That demographic is certainly "older"" but still young and not "old."
Also... Many times the have an excuse as to why they can't do a video call, so I ask that they do a selfie holding a paper under their chin with their name and the date on it. They usually get offended and start insulting me at that point...
I enjoy being single I am 61 years old.
So, what about the sheriff? Wasn’t that a hookup? No judgement! Glad you used your head by merging in a public place! Wise. 😮
This happened to me also on Grindr
A bunch of old men target me just because I turned legal. So I can relate.
I'm 34 never hooked up and looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
Well not seeing a live interaction like “facetime” in this day and age it’s pretty dumb to go meet someone you don’t know 100% who they are
I was on this app for a while it s what the name said sorry but ture good luck don't give up
i met a guy for lunch a long time ago. back in the days of gay.com. i liked his pix and he said he was my age. met with him and he 20 years older and at least 50lbs heavier than his pix. at the end of the meal, he asked me to go to his place. i said no thanx and ge acted surprised. i told him he didnt look like his pix and wasnt interested in anything physical. he called me shallow and said i would never find true love. i walked away and met my bf a few weeks later
Why are there so high expectations from a hook-up site?
JZWALZ51 ROBIN before i was so unaware that it's an hook up apps , but now, it's just an app that doesn't make sense to me anymore.
hi dude - always insist on at least one video call - ass holes are out there waiting for the young naeve kids - and don't worry - i was moved by your emotional's - guys like you will always find love - just be patient , don't let the assholes to change you .
Frankly you should have just walked away once you realised his pic was fake.
THE BIG PROBLEM HERE IS THAT MOST GAYS (NOT ALL) JUST WANT HOOK UPS NOT RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO GET HURT OR DEAL WITH THR DRAMA THAT GOES WITH IT.
It would be funny if two elderly men pretending to be young dudes using someone else's picture & then finally meeting in person.😀😁😂🤣
I would LOVE to see that cat fishing!
🤣🤣🤣... that was a good one! 🤣🤣🤣
The guy was a jerk, period sorry it happened to you not all people are like this
Next time your not sure about whether or not their profile pic is real or not, ask them to send a pic holding something of your choice.
If nothing gets sent, then...bye!
Omg dude im sorry this happened to you. Horrible experience. Btw you're super handsome!
Google duo will solve all.that..Live and in person..
Hopefully, when you become his age, you will not do the same.
Good luck.
Gee if thats the case I'd rather not be on it then.
I've been catfished multiple times. But one time there was this hot ripped smart country guy and he was actually real and we spoke for a month. but the thing is I figured out...he was into animals 🙂🤢.
as Rod yeah, thats wayyy past my limit hunty
as Rod i found out he likes...dogs and cats... after I had broken up with him because I felt he didn't make enough time for me lol. The things is, before I broke up with him, he tried to make it clear that he believed that everyone should be able to do whatever theg want as long as it doesn't cause harm to someone else. After I left hime because I felt he wasn't giving me enough attention, I saw a post from him hinting that he was into..."the familly cat" 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮
as Rod ewww i dont know. I don't anymore
You have joined a life experience called reality ime 59 never desired younger guys have experienced the Liars, users & manipulators in partners and so called friends gave up on partners 2003 grinder recently for 3rd time since deleted had 300km as nearby and over 50 yrs got 26 yr olds & dudes 3000 kms away like myself and my own solitary self never lonely .....ime so lucky it’s lucky dip shit life!😁🤣😘
He seems like a Top not bottom
Do You Have #Instagram
Love your onlyfans. I subscribed to your channel. I think it took a lot for you to make this video. Thank you.
You are so cute how could it happen to you
Welcome to the superficial gay world!!!!
How does one look like he has a country side?....#GayNConfused
Sorry you had a bad experience.Grindr is all about sex.If you want to meet someone nice, go to a bar or a club.At least you will have a conversation first.
truth will set you free. you should have watched Catfish before going to grindr. there is no commitment in the gay world.
The problem with many young gay men is that they have false illusions about life. The man from Grindr may feel insecure. Unable to find someone. You should have more empathy. Young guys are so shallow.
Hey buddy I tried out the gay Field once and had a very very bad experience very bad funny you never know someone till it's to late yes so it's happens to other guys so I've tried it and would never go back to that I'm sorry but there is a bad vibe in the gay world I was shocked how it really was few are great some are ok and so e are bad sorry Again
How does a gay guy.....look like he has a country side?.....#GayNConfused
Nice little video... clearly you aarent the typical 20 something... certainly arent the norm for grinder either. Keep your standards high.
Daaaamn first experience was a catfish 😞
A Russian did the 2 picture scam on my $3500 later he was not on the plane at the Atlanta Airport I reported him to the Russian embassy for fraud.when I called him the voice did not match the face. The picture of Yurick was so super hot. Yea it was a Russian models picture.....