He should read the whole bible, That he might learn not to blaspheme the one who he lives moves and has his being in. The one who gave him the ability to do everything he’s ever done. To think every thought he’s ever had. He blasphemes God, and Judges God but doesn’t judge Himself. He believes he is a great man and can save himself by his own Right Hand, and justifies His Pride because God caused men to circumcise themselves. With all of The Beauty God has given, The Life, The Love. Thanksgiving in His Name is Too Easy. And These people received direct revelation and instruction of God, that they would be a very special people to Him in His Law. You do it, Not to prove Your Love to Him (Like the Friendly Atheist said the purpose was for) but because THAT IS WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEY HAVE LIFE IN GOD AND THEIR LIFE GIVER SAID THIS IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO. And this covenant was not a salvation covenant, and ends up becoming a predestined symbol for being circumcised in the heart. In the Old and New Testament. And in the New Testament those who are circumcised through belief in Jesus, are blessed with the everlasting covenant that God symbolized with this specific covenant God have Abraham. I listened to this Friendly atheist guy and it is extremely terrible. Terrible because He is A blasphemer and Graceless.
@@wdbible129 No one will ever convince YOU because you're too brainwashed. It is beyond obvious that the bible was written by old sexist warmongers in ancient times. If modern christianity hopes to earn some credibility, it should discard the old testament entirely and try to fix the new testament. Good luck with that! Also, why did god give us foreskins if we are supposed to cut it out?
@@majormarketing6552 I had it in May, the "mild" version, but I was very sick for more than two weeks and still haven't regained full lung capacity. My cousin's husband died of Covid, two friends from my High School died last month in Dallas, and another is in ICU in Texas and had to be moved to another hospital because there aren't enough beds. Now that hospital is at capacity and they are having to send patients elsewhere, again. Obviously, you must not live in a densely populated city. Don't worry, it will get to your neighborhood eventually. If your "lucky" like me, it will just take weeks out of your life and leave you feeling exhausted and struggling to breathe.
Sarah: Hey, Hagar, so the old goat got _you_ knocked up. How did you do it? I, myself, have to now! His 'god' told him I must. Hagar: Well, I stepped out a bit. His brother carries his seed, too, so I didn't lie when I said it was his seed. Sarah thought: And his brother told no one. Bragged to no one. Hmmmmm. [Editor's note ages given in this chapter are in seasons, not years.]
@@andrewstoddard6717 Probably just a random spammer. He commented a lot in this comment section and most of it was the same copy paste, sometimes with an added stab to whatever comment he was spamming it under. Reporting those comments might help.
And uses the term "we" a lot and is often referred to in the plural, probably just remnants from an older pagan religion that the abrahamic religions are based on.
The fun ending answer to this question is pretty obvious if you think about it. You can choose anything to be your "god". Money, power, sex, an idea, your own desires, another person, literally anything. What/whomever you love the most or follow first is your god.
The Hebrews were polytheistic. It wasn't untill the following of Elohim was deemed fashionable that His worship was the only way for the Jews to worship God's cock and balls
Are you going to post this same boring comment on every video he makes or could you maybe try to come up with something a little more original and perhaps even funny.
following from nairobi kenya, a place where this fantasy book was beaten into us. stupid people here contribute to build churches but not hospitals. Even with this pandemic,they are eager to go back to church as people are dying. The guilt producing business, the pastors are telling people that god needs money,he has really been broke due to them not going to church. They pastors are ready to heal and perform miracles.
Believe me, I understand your pain. I live in Romania, where most of the population is orthodox Christian. Though the number of devout Christians has been dropping as time goes on, this religion is still deeply ingrained in my country. It's worse during a pandemic. We had a 2 month stay at home order, and cases dropped. However, as soon as it was deemed ok to go outside, people have started to flood the churches. There are monasteries where all the monks are infected. Priests and even one Bishop have died from this disease. And yet, they continue to remain oblivious to safety measures, and so the cases have skyrocketed again. People here have more faith in church leaders and god than in medical staff and hospitals. It's both frustrating and sad.
My favorite part of this series is the host doesnt even add opinion or speculation or anything, he just reads the bible and asks questions like a logical person haha I love it
Nowadays the family is messed up! There is no more father and son! Sometimes Father is married to son like bisexual gays! I know a Filipino gay who married an old German gay like his sugar gay daddy!!! This is why never change your last name! The Gods are gays! Jesus Christ is gay!!! 😂😂😂
@@shriggs55 If you don't mind, I'm not going to go ahead and research that, but, if true, it seems like god was wheeling and dealing his covenant schtick all over the region.
I wonder how many babies died from infection before hospitals? Even now, about 120 baby boys die every year from this barbaric, unneeded procedure, and that's just in the USA!
@@scottstollery2191 The Egyptians previously practiced circumcision and different religions with different gods did it. Realistically the story was made up as a consolidating method. To write in a history to give different cultures and tribes a unified origin to say they're all from the same root and honor the tribe that worships that particular god as greatest.
@Matthias Abrahham : what is supposed to be special about this passage that should make us forget the shenanigans with the foreskins, or the numerous other questionable parts of the bible? You know, like genocides, calls to war, enslavement, the sacrifice prank with Abraham, accepting a real sacrifice from Jephta, or killing a child to punish his parents?
This chapter is why I permanently had a part of my body cut off as an infant, and I despise it for that. Foreskins are important. Circumcision should be banned unless medically necessary. This has been a PSA.
So... Abraham was 99 and had no children when "the lord" came to him and said he'd have a ton of kids if he circumcised himself. He circumcised Ishmael when he was 13 and Abraham was, um, 99? How does that work?
THIS is the BEST critique of this chapter I have EVER heard! Thank you, Hemant for this series. I don't know if I'm laughing more at your commentary or the chapters themselves! I hope you go on to Exodus. I'm enjoying this very much.
Hemant, I just spent the last 12 1/2 minutes rolling on the floor in laughter. You are so funny I can’t believe it. I love your videos. Thank you for making coronavirus so fun.
@@mohamedkalo785 No, it's definitely the younger son Isaac, who hasn't been born yet at this point in the story Edit: Seems Muslims believe that it was Ishmael, though their holy book doesn't mention which son it was
"I REQUIRE A SACRIFICE, YOUR SON ISAAC WILL BE THE SACRIFICE, GO INTO HIS ROOM AND END HIS LIFE TO PROVE TO ME YOU LOVE ME ABOVE ALL ELSE" "... Yes Lord" she replied. Grabbing a Kitchen knife. Isaac saw thru the crack on his door as mom approached. Isaac was cornered, scrabbling around to find a way to escape, until he finds a hidden trapdoor beneath. Binding of Isaac Rebirth moment
"The bible is not a book of morality". Truth. After 23 years of reading the bible, I became an apostate. It was while I was reading to my mom (stroke patient, full care, 7 years, wheres the help for your fallen daughter God?) that I realized that I am more moral than this book. Any morality that seemed good I smuggled in with my modern, nuanced, secular morality. The day I left this "god" behind was my new birthday. Hey guys, I was "born again". Just not the way the Christian world approves of.
-Thank you for taking me into your church! I'm ready to start my righteous journey into salvation! -Awwww, that's nice. But don't thank me... Drop your pants... -What?
I wonder if god made this offer all over the place, and Abram was the first sucker to fall for it. God goes back to heaven and he and the angels laugh their asses off.
Circumcision was a Pagan practice originally done by the Egyptians. You have to remember that Israel and Palestine were surrounded by empires far larger and more powerful than them, so obviously they're going to pick things up from them overtime. It's also why Christianity is a mix of Judaism and Platonic philosophy.
Abraham fell on his face because of God’s glory and how powerful He is. In Revelation people worship Jesus in heaven without hesitation because of how glorious and pure He is. And just the fact the Abraham didn’t actually see God and God just spoke to him and he fell on his face really shows how amazing God is.
Hemant Mehta Very good video. I think “fell on his face” indicates a prayer position, as Muslims do. Going down on one or two knees is used elsewhere. Going down on his face (not a sex act, Afaik) seems more emotional. That tracks, since they’re claiming Yahweh was present. It is hard not to mention the upcoming terrorization of Isaac. How does one know that their vision or the voice they hear is god rather than a demon or just their personal delusion? Why did Abraham believe that “murder your son” was coming from the holiest being. That tells a lot about biblical morality.
"What is god going to do with all these foreskins anyway?" My best guess would be... to create a football team that he could simply name "the foreskins" because it would be composed of foreskin golems. This is not really based on biblical scholarship however, so I might be slightly wrong there.
Weird stuff, God wants Abraham to show his devotion by abusing a child! And lots of other children. One can only try to imagine how painful and dangerous circumcision would have been back then. And there are name changes? Surely God would realise this might be confusing for the reader, but he seemingly cares not for continuity.
Wait, if it is an everlasting covenant.......why does it get replaced by a new covenant? God got it wrong the first time? Also, I thought it was 8 days old for the male genital mutilation? Suddenly it’s 99 or 13 or whatever?
Well Paul's religion which we know as christianity today is totally heretical to orthodox judaism. As far as the OT and jews then and now are concerned there is no "new covenant". This is why Paul was met with lots of backlash from Jews like James and others in his (alleged) writings. If Rome(the most powerful rule on the planet at the time) didn't eventually adopt the Paulian religion centuries later and made it mandatory we'd know very little about christianity today. They preserved and edited all Paulian christianity documents and beliefs and destroyed all other contenders that were just as popular at the time
Sparky Pluggs I’ve no problem with orthodox saying it was everlasting (apart from every other own goal they score), just wondering how the new lot squared the cognitive dissonance. They’re all as bad as each other.
@@sarahhardy8649 The cognitive dissonance part is easy. Any immoral or evil can be justified if one believes their divine god had a good reason to condone or command it and not to question, just obey. The mind can be easily manipulated to justify any belief. It's all about who can convince you their beliefs is most in the will of a divine being
@@sarahhardy8649 The OT god and NT jesus are basically ventriloquist dummies with different sects with varying beliefs writing their views in their mouths to give their beliefs and agendas authority. Once a person is desperate for a divine leader they're already a mark. No different than a person desperate for a spouse. Anyone can con them into a bad marriage
Sparky Pluggs I stopped believing in any of it when I read the bible for myself. And that opened my eyes to ALL religions. It’s a pity as I enjoyed the singing and community, but I can get that elsewhere without the coercive control.
"I the Lord thy God will grant the whole of Canaan to you and your descendants." If history is any indication of how much God loves the Jews, He doesn't love them very much. All of the times when the land of Canaan was conquered by foreigners.
I have never the Bible cover to cover in my Christian times, these videos make it bearable to hear and I hope you will do more books! It’s helping with my deconstruction too
I'm really enjoying your bible reading! I'll have to watch it all in small doses as I'm autistic and the background music is a bit much for me. Other than that, though, i love your take on it 😊
There is a major question here that needs an answer. Did god cut his own foreskin off to comply with his own covenant or was 'the covenant' the only way to show how sick he was of man to be looking exactly like god himself? "We will make man in our image", implies that god too has a foreskin. We know that his son was born with a foreskin because it was cut off at 8 days old and if Jesus IS god then god too has a foreskin meaning he did not keep his own covenant with Abraham. Also, how do Muslims feel about their patriarch Ishmael being the disinherited son of a slave girl?
This chapter explains why Abram and Sari's names were changed to Abraham and Sarah, revealing one of God's name to be "El Shaddai", and finally explaining why the Hebrews practice circumcision.
It's not even that 1 bible story makes no sense which alone would destroy everything since why should you trust the rest now, no, nothing like that, ALL OF GENESIS IS INSANE
I like how God claims that he will bless his family if they circumcise themselves...it’s been a few thousand years and the Jewish people are still waiting fir that blessing. They seem to have had the hardest religious history of all. So God isn’t only crazy, He’s a lair too?
Since man was made in gods image, perhaps one day when god was doing something, he lopped off his own foreskin and so decided it was time to upgrade the model...
As a christian I just want to thank you for reading so many Bible verses. It's an amazing story. You're a funny guy. You give the answers to your own questions.
So, my family is Catholic, at least in the upper generations, and my father and uncle were...ahem...circumcised, but they didn't do it to my brother because both my parents saw it as unnecessary. Good choice. Mind you, my brother is an Atheist, my sister doesn't practice, and I'm a Pantheist, so yay for autonomy!
So God could've made Sarai/Sarah fertile all along? Why was this whole side story with raping Hagar necessary then? And how often does God want to promise Abraham more offspring? That guy is a hundred years old, couldn't God have MAYBE made him and Sarah have kids earlier? And why doesn't anyone question him? If someone left the village to go talk to someone, then came back and suddenly demanded everyone's foreskins, I would question their sanity.
The LORD and God aren't the same. One's the source of ALL things, infinity, the other's whatever came from it. God created Satan, Satan was one of many Lords. From your Friendly Neighbourhood Heretic
Put yourself in Abram/Abraham's shoes: He's a 99 year old guy who's got bad eyes and shaky hands (because he just fell on his face twice). In the last chapter God said "You're going to have tons of kids from your bowels", so he's already got atrocious anal tearing and pain. And now he's got to circumcise himself and every male in his family (which may include some of his new bowel-kids, who knows). Damn, I wouldn't want to be that guy!
If one of your children are running with something sharp in their hand. And you tell them both to stop running and give the shape objects to you. You want the both them to respect what you say&do what you say,not for your well being,but for their safety.
I had no idea that the bible was such an amazing comic book...Looking forward to Genesis 18 and 19. 19 about Lot and his daughters should be hilarious 😂
The whole Bible should have a NSFW label. There are too many inappropriate examples that can haunt a child for life. It’s grotesque as well. Perfect horror book!
I'm pretty sure Fawlty Towers is better. But that's because the implications behind these verses (the actual mutilation of millions of boys/men around the world) is pretty much anything but funny.
@@emeraldkat2167 True, but then not talking about the Germans and not mentioning the war does really seem to be potentially funny either. Went to a spoof Faulty Towers dinner just before lock down. It was hilarious, so your right, Faulty Towers is better. But, look at the material this friendly guy's got to work with... He's made a splendid fist of it.
I too got an ad from the Epoch Times (I may not have spelled it right). Mine wasn't about genders, but covid. And it suggested that it's a communist plot. Of course. Urgh.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
The foreskins probably fuel the Ancient Aliens spaceships.
Lmao
Calamari rings were not enough then, so they needed the skins.
Please don't stop. Let's do the whole bible!
Absolutely. About the only way i can tolerate it. His sarcasm is priceless. 👍
Agreed, I just posted a similar comment.
He should read the whole bible, That he might learn not to blaspheme the one who he lives moves and has his being in. The one who gave him the ability to do everything he’s ever done. To think every thought he’s ever had. He blasphemes God, and Judges God but doesn’t judge Himself. He believes he is a great man and can save himself by his own Right Hand, and justifies His Pride because God caused men to circumcise themselves. With all of The Beauty God has given, The Life, The Love. Thanksgiving in His Name is Too Easy. And These people received direct revelation and instruction of God, that they would be a very special people to Him in His Law. You do it, Not to prove Your Love to Him (Like the Friendly Atheist said the purpose was for) but because THAT IS WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEY HAVE LIFE IN GOD AND THEIR LIFE GIVER SAID THIS IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.
And this covenant was not a salvation covenant, and ends up becoming a predestined symbol for being circumcised in the heart. In the Old and New Testament. And in the New Testament those who are circumcised through belief in Jesus, are blessed with the everlasting covenant that God symbolized with this specific covenant God have Abraham.
I listened to this Friendly atheist guy and it is extremely terrible. Terrible because He is A blasphemer and Graceless.
@@wdbible129 No one will ever convince YOU because you're too brainwashed. It is beyond obvious that the bible was written by old sexist warmongers in ancient times. If modern christianity hopes to earn some credibility, it should discard the old testament entirely and try to fix the new testament. Good luck with that!
Also, why did god give us foreskins if we are supposed to cut it out?
@@vivacristorey4728 WOW!!!! What a profound statement!!! 🙄
This series is getting me through the pandemic. Thank you so much, Hemant!
I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to see a new video in my feed lol
Between catching up on these, Paulogia and Conspiracy Catz, yeah I have to agree. Nothing like debunking religion and flat earth during a pandemic!
Let me know when you see one person even cough. Some pandemic huh?
@@majormarketing6552 I had it in May, the "mild" version, but I was very sick for more than two weeks and still haven't regained full lung capacity.
My cousin's husband died of Covid, two friends from my High School died last month in Dallas, and another is in ICU in Texas and had to be moved to another hospital because there aren't enough beds. Now that hospital is at capacity and they are having to send patients elsewhere, again.
Obviously, you must not live in a densely populated city. Don't worry, it will get to your neighborhood eventually. If your "lucky" like me, it will just take weeks out of your life and leave you feeling exhausted and struggling to breathe.
@@LazyIRanch they just don't get it do they. ✌
Sarah: Good news Hagar! God finally fixed me with his naming magic. Your services will no longer be needed by my husband. We're cool now right?
😂😂😂😂
Sarah: Hey, Hagar, so the old goat got _you_ knocked up. How did you do it? I, myself, have to now! His 'god' told him I must.
Hagar: Well, I stepped out a bit. His brother carries his seed, too, so I didn't lie when I said it was his seed.
Sarah thought: And his brother told no one. Bragged to no one. Hmmmmm.
[Editor's note ages given in this chapter are in seasons, not years.]
I'm picturing a necklace. Like a daisy chain but out of foreskins.
@Matthias Abrahham is that what God wants with them (joke).
So that's what king David did with the 200 wood hoods!
I'm imagining a rosary made of foreskins... you're welcome for that gruesome mental image.
and then god said: Abraham, just the tip... and get that smirk of your face....
@Matthias Abrahham THe moral of that story is obvious: stay in school and don't do THAT much drugs; overdosing is not a joke.
@Matthias Abrahham you another bot?
Phrasing.
Boom!
@@andrewstoddard6717 Probably just a random spammer. He commented a lot in this comment section and most of it was the same copy paste, sometimes with an added stab to whatever comment he was spamming it under. Reporting those comments might help.
The Year One movie had a funny skit about circumcision.
So cool, didn't expect one today. It's like following a soap opera- I'm hooked!
That's a really weird combination of sentences, unless you have never watched soap operas.
I think I finally understand what the word _blessed_ means.
Spoiler alert: Jesus dies.
@@Leith_Crowther Goddammit!
@@Leith_Crowther Dude, hide your message at least😂
Why is it called Soap Opera💀💀
Why does it sounds like god is competing with other gods? "and I will be their God"......This can only mean that their is a choice of gods..
@Matthias Abrahham popcorn.
And uses the term "we" a lot and is often referred to in the plural, probably just remnants from an older pagan religion that the abrahamic religions are based on.
The fun ending answer to this question is pretty obvious if you think about it.
You can choose anything to be your "god". Money, power, sex, an idea, your own desires, another person, literally anything. What/whomever you love the most or follow first is your god.
Don't know how this makes sense in 21st century but I loved it, keep them coming brother !
The Hebrews were polytheistic. It wasn't untill the following of Elohim was deemed fashionable that His worship was the only way for the Jews to worship God's cock and balls
I can't wait for the friendly atheist to tell us that everything is wrong with genesis 17
Spoiler alert:Especialy the circumsision part
Are you going to post this same boring comment on every video he makes or could you maybe try to come up with something a little more original and perhaps even funny.
following from nairobi kenya, a place where this fantasy book was beaten into us. stupid people here contribute to build churches but not hospitals.
Even with this pandemic,they are eager to go back to church as people are dying. The guilt producing business, the pastors are telling people that god needs money,he has really been broke due to them not going to church. They pastors are ready to heal and perform miracles.
Believe me, I understand your pain. I live in Romania, where most of the population is orthodox Christian. Though the number of devout Christians has been dropping as time goes on, this religion is still deeply ingrained in my country.
It's worse during a pandemic. We had a 2 month stay at home order, and cases dropped. However, as soon as it was deemed ok to go outside, people have started to flood the churches. There are monasteries where all the monks are infected. Priests and even one Bishop have died from this disease. And yet, they continue to remain oblivious to safety measures, and so the cases have skyrocketed again.
People here have more faith in church leaders and god than in medical staff and hospitals. It's both frustrating and sad.
Someone who understands! Uhuru dropped the ball on that one
Same situation here.
Why is God always broke?
My favorite part of this series is the host doesnt even add opinion or speculation or anything, he just reads the bible and asks questions like a logical person haha
I love it
I love that you never stop referring to her as sister-wife 🤣
Nowadays the family is messed up! There is no more father and son!
Sometimes Father is married to son like bisexual gays!
I know a Filipino gay who married an old German gay like his sugar gay daddy!!!
This is why never change your last name!
The Gods are gays! Jesus Christ is gay!!! 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Sad that this doesn’t have that much views, more people need to see this.
it was just released
@Matthias Abrahham revealations. As useless as genesis.
My question has always been how Abraham knew what a circumcision was. This had never been done before. Are there details that we are missing?
Abraham was like, "If I know God, and I think I do, this is probably what He means by circumcision."
I heard that the tribes around Abraham,in that area,also practiced or knew about circumcision.I can't validate that however.
@@shriggs55 If you don't mind, I'm not going to go ahead and research that, but, if true, it seems like god was wheeling and dealing his covenant schtick all over the region.
I wonder how many babies died from infection before hospitals? Even now, about 120 baby boys die every year from this barbaric, unneeded procedure, and that's just in the USA!
@@scottstollery2191 The Egyptians previously practiced circumcision and different religions with different gods did it. Realistically the story was made up as a consolidating method. To write in a history to give different cultures and tribes a unified origin to say they're all from the same root and honor the tribe that worships that particular god as greatest.
When I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be hearing a rant about penises and circumcision lol
@Matthias Abrahham have you ever considered the fact that atheist do not consider the bible true?
@Matthias Abrahham : what is supposed to be special about this passage that should make us forget the shenanigans with the foreskins, or the numerous other questionable parts of the bible? You know, like genocides, calls to war, enslavement, the sacrifice prank with Abraham, accepting a real sacrifice from Jephta, or killing a child to punish his parents?
I had to pause a moment after, "Build a hut?", giggles wouldn't stop.
@Matthias Abrahham marshmellow
if you rub it the right way it becomes a castle
Thank you for this series and all of your videos. Makes me feel less isolated and connected to someone in a way. It's a very terrible year ☹️
@Matthias Abrahham God came in Mary, without consent. You must be so proud.
@Matthias Abrahham so you admit that the thing you worship is a horrible monster?
This chapter is why I permanently had a part of my body cut off as an infant, and I despise it for that. Foreskins are important. Circumcision should be banned unless medically necessary. This has been a PSA.
I would say God appeared to him as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Oh great Flying Spaghetti Monster, May I have some of your noodly goodness?
It is written in the great book of Linguini .
@Shaun W
All hail to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his unconditional noodly goodness!
Don't forget that He boiled for our sins. 😂
"I give you the land of Canaan. Done. Now organize yourself an army and go conquer it from people already living there."
If Abraham were alive today, he’d be locked up in a padded cell.
This god fella use to talk to lots of people, nothing for about 2,000 years now.
So... Abraham was 99 and had no children when "the lord" came to him and said he'd have a ton of kids if he circumcised himself. He circumcised Ishmael when he was 13 and Abraham was, um, 99?
How does that work?
THIS is the BEST critique of this chapter I have EVER heard! Thank you, Hemant for this series. I don't know if I'm laughing more at your commentary or the chapters themselves! I hope you go on to Exodus. I'm enjoying this very much.
Literally adding, HA! I ha’d. I ha’d real hard
@Matthias Abrahham a haiku for you/I sit on toilet and poo/as you spew bible
Stefahanie 😂
Now that's a heart warming tale to read to the kids.
Hemant, I just spent the last 12 1/2 minutes rolling on the floor in laughter. You are so funny I can’t believe it. I love your videos. Thank you for making coronavirus so fun.
Abram “Scissor hands” Abraham
LAL XD That cracked me up! :D
@Matthias Abrahham You know, revelations has always struck me as either the results of an acid trip or a fever dream.
Can't wait the part when Abraham should sacrfice Isak.
Ishmael it was I think
@@mohamedkalo785 No, it's definitely the younger son Isaac, who hasn't been born yet at this point in the story
Edit: Seems Muslims believe that it was Ishmael, though their holy book doesn't mention which son it was
"I REQUIRE A SACRIFICE, YOUR SON ISAAC WILL BE THE SACRIFICE, GO INTO HIS ROOM AND END HIS LIFE TO PROVE TO ME YOU LOVE ME ABOVE ALL ELSE"
"... Yes Lord" she replied.
Grabbing a Kitchen knife.
Isaac saw thru the crack on his door as mom approached. Isaac was cornered, scrabbling around to find a way to escape, until he finds a hidden trapdoor beneath.
Binding of Isaac Rebirth moment
"The bible is not a book of morality". Truth.
After 23 years of reading the bible, I became an apostate. It was while I was reading to my mom (stroke patient, full care, 7 years, wheres the help for your fallen daughter God?) that I realized that I am more moral than this book. Any morality that seemed good I smuggled in with my modern, nuanced, secular morality.
The day I left this "god" behind was my new birthday. Hey guys, I was "born again". Just not the way the Christian world approves of.
So cool, jahweh promised the land of Kanaan to Abe. The only part of the Middle East without oil....
This reads as if god was just a local god, one out of many.
It would be aweome if Hemant covers the whole bible lol
Yeah, it would be a modern masterpiece
@Matthias Abrahham ctrl-c and then/ctrl-v to paste your speal/haiku now for you.
Absolutely.
Perhaps Abraham was snockered? He did fall on his face a lot.
EVERY time I've fallen on my face, alcohol was involved... or some prankster tied my shoelaces together.
He was 99, a 99 year old falling isn't particularly unlikely it is potentially very serious but it isn't a surprise.
Generations of mutton and wine will take its toll.
His wife will bear him a son this time next year. 9 months for pregnancy. Couldn't get started for 3 months because of the circumcision.
I thought the same thing! "No . . . not now . .. my dick is killing me! Wait until it heals!!!"
-Thank you for taking me into your church! I'm ready to start my righteous journey into salvation!
-Awwww, that's nice. But don't thank me... Drop your pants...
-What?
"Everyone falls on their faces"
Is this some kind of comedic anime?))
I wonder if god made this offer all over the place, and Abram was the first sucker to fall for it.
God goes back to heaven and he and the angels laugh their asses off.
Just think about how insecure the abrahamic tribal war god is after all he gets jealous.
He got soo jealous he killed all the other Jewish deities and proclaimed all the deities of the other cultures to be false deities.
Circumcision was a Pagan practice originally done by the Egyptians. You have to remember that Israel and Palestine were surrounded by empires far larger and more powerful than them, so obviously they're going to pick things up from them overtime. It's also why Christianity is a mix of Judaism and Platonic philosophy.
Abraham fell on his face because of God’s glory and how powerful He is. In Revelation people worship Jesus in heaven without hesitation because of how glorious and pure He is. And just the fact the Abraham didn’t actually see God and God just spoke to him and he fell on his face really shows how amazing God is.
Hemant Mehta Very good video. I think “fell on his face” indicates a prayer position, as Muslims do. Going down on one or two knees is used elsewhere. Going down on his face (not a sex act, Afaik) seems more emotional. That tracks, since they’re claiming Yahweh was present.
It is hard not to mention the upcoming terrorization of Isaac. How does one know that their vision or the voice they hear is god rather than a demon or just their personal delusion? Why did Abraham believe that “murder your son” was coming from the holiest being. That tells a lot about biblical morality.
Hemant, I loved all of this, as usual, but the 'HA' had me losing it! LMAO👍🏿👍👍🏽👏👍🏾👏🏽💝☮️🎃🐝
God said, beam me up, Scotty and went up.
Thank you for this great series!
Keep up the good work.. I look forward to these every day..
"What is god going to do with all these foreskins anyway?"
My best guess would be... to create a football team that he could simply name "the foreskins" because it would be composed of foreskin golems. This is not really based on biblical scholarship however, so I might be slightly wrong there.
Build a wall a big beautiful wall!
@@radonrodan8332 : I don't think it's possible to build anything beautiful out of foreskins, even if you are a god.
I love your commentary. I couldn't stop laughing.
Enjoy it while you can
@@sunwukong32 its goku....
Weird stuff, God wants Abraham to show his devotion by abusing a child! And lots of other children. One can only try to imagine how painful and dangerous circumcision would have been back then.
And there are name changes? Surely God would realise this might be confusing for the reader, but he seemingly cares not for continuity.
Please extend this series to the whole bible, your commentary on the absurdity of this book alone is quite entertaining.
8:43 OMG, Isaac as in Binding of Isaac?
This is gonna get good
3:20 The "fell facedown" line means abraham started bowing to god, but it still sounds absolutely ridiculous
I'm picturing Abram struggling to get up, with his old-man moan, while God ignores it and just keeps talking.
Awkward turtle.
Wait, if it is an everlasting covenant.......why does it get replaced by a new covenant? God got it wrong the first time?
Also, I thought it was 8 days old for the male genital mutilation? Suddenly it’s 99 or 13 or whatever?
Well Paul's religion which we know as christianity today is totally heretical to orthodox judaism. As far as the OT and jews then and now are concerned there is no "new covenant". This is why Paul was met with lots of backlash from Jews like James and others in his (alleged) writings. If Rome(the most powerful rule on the planet at the time) didn't eventually adopt the Paulian religion centuries later and made it mandatory we'd know very little about christianity today. They preserved and edited all Paulian christianity documents and beliefs and destroyed all other contenders that were just as popular at the time
Sparky Pluggs I’ve no problem with orthodox saying it was everlasting (apart from every other own goal they score), just wondering how the new lot squared the cognitive dissonance. They’re all as bad as each other.
@@sarahhardy8649 The cognitive dissonance part is easy. Any immoral or evil can be justified if one believes their divine god had a good reason to condone or command it and not to question, just obey. The mind can be easily manipulated to justify any belief. It's all about who can convince you their beliefs is most in the will of a divine being
@@sarahhardy8649 The OT god and NT jesus are basically ventriloquist dummies with different sects with varying beliefs writing their views in their mouths to give their beliefs and agendas authority. Once a person is desperate for a divine leader they're already a mark. No different than a person desperate for a spouse. Anyone can con them into a bad marriage
Sparky Pluggs I stopped believing in any of it when I read the bible for myself. And that opened my eyes to ALL religions. It’s a pity as I enjoyed the singing and community, but I can get that elsewhere without the coercive control.
“And you know at least some of the guys wouldn’t go along with that....”
funniest thing I’ve heard today!
I love this series!
I am absolutely loving this series!!
"I the Lord thy God will grant the whole of Canaan to you and your descendants."
If history is any indication of how much God loves the Jews, He doesn't love them very much. All of the times when the land of Canaan was conquered by foreigners.
I have never the Bible cover to cover in my Christian times, these videos make it bearable to hear and I hope you will do more books! It’s helping with my deconstruction too
Just when you think it can't get any weirder......
you mean evolution wich created evrything wich nothing? seems real to me..., xD dumb
@Matthias Abrahham Pineapple
@@king-rubyn Learn what evolution is before you post.
It's almost seems like Abraham is actually making a pact with some demon who is asking for a weird sacrifice
Make more videos. Im learning more here than in sunday school
I'm really enjoying your bible reading! I'll have to watch it all in small doses as I'm autistic and the background music is a bit much for me. Other than that, though, i love your take on it 😊
There is a major question here that needs an answer.
Did god cut his own foreskin off to comply with his own covenant or was 'the covenant' the only way to show how sick he was of man to be looking exactly like god himself?
"We will make man in our image", implies that god too has a foreskin.
We know that his son was born with a foreskin because it was cut off at 8 days old and if Jesus IS god then god too has a foreskin meaning he did not keep his own covenant with Abraham.
Also, how do Muslims feel about their patriarch Ishmael being the disinherited son of a slave girl?
"A bag full of testicles or I swear I am moving to Vimeo". Hah! Priceless.
This chapter explains why Abram and Sari's names were changed to Abraham and Sarah, revealing one of God's name to be "El Shaddai", and finally explaining why the Hebrews practice circumcision.
Ishmael had one hell of a bar mitzvah.
Circumcisining a child should be illegal victims of it need to sue their parents to set an example for why it should be illegal
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
@Matthias Abrahham copy paste time get up and dance it's copy paste time.
It's not even that 1 bible story makes no sense which alone would destroy everything since why should you trust the rest now, no, nothing like that, ALL OF GENESIS IS INSANE
I like how God claims that he will bless his family if they circumcise themselves...it’s been a few thousand years and the Jewish people are still waiting fir that blessing. They seem to have had the hardest religious history of all. So God isn’t only crazy, He’s a lair too?
Just because people paint Jesus as a white man doesn’t mean he actually was. He was middle eastern.
Since man was made in gods image, perhaps one day when god was doing something, he lopped off his own foreskin and so decided it was time to upgrade the model...
As a christian I just want to thank you for reading so many Bible verses. It's an amazing story.
You're a funny guy. You give the answers to your own questions.
If you mean by amazing a vile and disgusting story then you are right.
This is a new god who introduced himself and started a new covenant. This one gave Sarah the ability to have kids, the old god could not do so.
So, my family is Catholic, at least in the upper generations, and my father and uncle were...ahem...circumcised, but they didn't do it to my brother because both my parents saw it as unnecessary. Good choice. Mind you, my brother is an Atheist, my sister doesn't practice, and I'm a Pantheist, so yay for autonomy!
Sarah probably was a sister wife. Common in those days when few people and to keep your seed "pure."
So God could've made Sarai/Sarah fertile all along? Why was this whole side story with raping Hagar necessary then?
And how often does God want to promise Abraham more offspring? That guy is a hundred years old, couldn't God have MAYBE made him and Sarah have kids earlier?
And why doesn't anyone question him? If someone left the village to go talk to someone, then came back and suddenly demanded everyone's foreskins, I would question their sanity.
So seems like the guy who wrote this already knew he was going to name the characters Abraham and Sarah and decided to do word play🙄 Jesus
was that 'Covenant' business the inspiration for the recent 'Alien Covenant' the latest in the 'Alien' film series? i think we should be told.
BTW, for a 12 and a half minute long video, there were 4 commercial breaks. That’s getting to cable TV levels. A bit excessive.
I only had one interruption.
I am loving this series. Is your intention to go thru the whole Bible with your brilliant commentary?
I am addicted to this!!!!! Just enlightening
The LORD and God aren't the same. One's the source of ALL things, infinity, the other's whatever came from it.
God created Satan, Satan was one of many Lords.
From your Friendly Neighbourhood Heretic
Satan was an angel not a lord. And it depends on which version you go. The Lord and God are pretty much the same thing depending which denomination.
3:15 I think that just means that he was praying or doing obeisance etc...
How did I not know about this channel?!?! Hilarious stuff! Thanks to the Skeptic's Annotated Bible for bringing me here.
“What the hell did I just read”
The Bible
Put yourself in Abram/Abraham's shoes: He's a 99 year old guy who's got bad eyes and shaky hands (because he just fell on his face twice). In the last chapter God said "You're going to have tons of kids from your bowels", so he's already got atrocious anal tearing and pain. And now he's got to circumcise himself and every male in his family (which may include some of his new bowel-kids, who knows). Damn, I wouldn't want to be that guy!
6:02 "the bible is not a book of morality" boy howdy... you got that right.
Imagining an old ass man with a pair of scissors like “C’mon! I only have a minute to do this!!” 🤣
If one of your children are running with something sharp in their hand.
And you tell them both to stop running and give the shape objects to you.
You want the both them to respect what you say&do what you say,not for your well being,but for their safety.
I had no idea that the bible was such an amazing comic book...Looking forward to Genesis 18 and 19. 19 about Lot and his daughters should be hilarious 😂
Erik Nystrom the Bible is nothing but religious literature turned into religious propaganda. Thus a comic book!
Did the writer saw it when Lot and his daughters made love to him..and they just at the same time pregnancies, weird 🤔
I'm sorry for you. Ill pray you find the joy of a relationship with the father
Bruh
Seems like Ed Gein got all his decorating tips from God.
Years were measured differently back then. Wonder how old they really were by our standards, if they really existed.
Foreskins for Everybody!
David took 200 Philistine foreskins to Saul to buy his daughter.I wonder if the Philistines were dead when he did that? Talk about brutal barbarians!
I can't decide if this was the first episode that should've had an NSFW warning. Loved it, btw. :)
The bible is a smut novel! Lol
@@BrianBakerCA Check out Ezekiel 23:20.You won't find this verse in any"devotional."
The whole Bible should have a NSFW label. There are too many inappropriate examples that can haunt a child for life. It’s grotesque as well. Perfect horror book!
@Matthias Abrahham more like saw than smut.
@@shriggs55 Oh yes. I'd forgotten about that one. ;)
I find it more than a bit curious that the deity of this crazy book makes pacts with people who don’t even exist yet…
I'm here because I needed a good laugh. And, it's great, it's much better than Faulty Towers. Well, nearly as good, perhaps, maybe, uummm.
I'm pretty sure Fawlty Towers is better. But that's because the implications behind these verses (the actual mutilation of millions of boys/men around the world) is pretty much anything but funny.
@@emeraldkat2167 True, but then not talking about the Germans and not mentioning the war does really seem to be potentially funny either.
Went to a spoof Faulty Towers dinner just before lock down. It was hilarious, so your right, Faulty Towers is better.
But, look at the material this friendly guy's got to work with... He's made a splendid fist of it.
I would have stopped at the everlasting covenant part. Which hinders a new one.
The ad before this video was weird. It was a guy explaining how there only 2 genders.
@Matthias Abrahham Huh?
@@Kairi091 Just spam. Ignore it or report it.
I too got an ad from the Epoch Times (I may not have spelled it right). Mine wasn't about genders, but covid. And it suggested that it's a communist plot. Of course. Urgh.
@@emeraldkat2167 Conspiracy stuff sells.Bottom line.
@Matthias Abrahham ctrl-c and then ctrl-v such is your mantra.