Trust Revival Method - Drs. Julie & John Gottman
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2016
- Can couples recover from an affair? In this brief video clip, Julie Gottman describes each phase of the Gottman Trust Revival Method, for guiding couples recovering from an affair: Atone, Attune & Attach
As someone who’s been cheated on by his wife. This made so much sense to me. But cheating can be done by the female too you know?!
I wholeheartedly agree with John. Just listening to the treatment process was exhausting and a considerable challenge for MOST couples! 1) The title of this "treatment," though positive/hopeful is a misnomer! "Trust Revival" presumes trust was there in the first place. At best, there is an illusion of trust or perceived trust. The affair/"cheating" wouldn't have happened if there was actual trust in the first place! So, then, treatment, if the relationship will go forward with a solid foundation, TRUST building is essential. Most people don't have the patience, "emotional strength," or psychological tools to a sustaining outcome - a treatment that could take a year or more.
The affair/cheating happened because of some other issues in their marriage where one of the partners needs were not getting met simple as that.. if your needs are met and your "love tank" is full you dont look to bury your bone some where else ;)
@@johnjohnson1681 if you read the book they mentioned JUST FRIENDS by Shirley Glass - you will find that your statement is not true.
@@johnjohnson1681 you must have never heard of a cake eater
Lljkkl
@@johnjohnson1681 This has been disproven so many times.
This is Exactly what I needed to hear to repair my marriage. I didn’t have an affair, but it sure felt like I did. But I am in the attunement phase. I can’t wait for the attachment. But I got no choice but take advantage of the attunement I am in at this time.
I spoke to a counselor today.
She said this stuff is much harder to get over for men and most can’t. She said a lot of men ending up divorcing their wives even if they get raped because they can’t get passed it. Men ruminate and become obsessed with details and understanding how bad it was. She said we put women on a pedestal and do anything for them, so if they cheat they fall off the pedestal and can’t get on it again.
Don’t get advice from other women about men. It will only make things worse.
All the details, when who where, names, places all stay with you
Nailed it!
so much trouble to through after having an affair that one of the partners might just not want to go through it too... and call it quits.
Deal with it now or deal with it later. You still have to deal with it
I feel so damn toxic I didnt know she felt this way
If you cheated on her and she really loved you. Trust me, you have NO IDEA how wounded and damaged she now is. This from someone who’s been cheated on.
Absolutely. My husband cheated on me and it has been the most painful experience of my entire life..more painful than the death of a loved one. The heartbreak, the pain, the intense shame and regret..it’s so overwhelming. I have considered taking my own life on many occasions, but for now I am trying to soldier on. I hope you are able to heal from your pain and find some measure of peace in your life moving forward.
Getting cheated on pushed me to have 2 suicide attempts. It's not something one should ever take lightly you can quite frankly shatter and ruin someone's entire reality and sanity.
ZERO chance I ever give someone a second chance if they cheat on me. No thanks.
Would the advice be different for a man getting cheated on
step 1 - the betrayer must be deeply sorry and willing to do anything to make things right.
No it wasn’t the trust. Really my youth, one moment in time. Yes and my PTSD.
Omg
Love Julie but would LOVE to hear John do far more of the talking.
what are the four horsemen?
criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling
@@anandaadidevi2339 thanks! Is criticism always bad?
@@kriptonis Yes, Julie always says "there's no such thing as constructive criticism" :) there are so many great books and videos on the Gottmans! We would have much healthier relationships if everyone knew them. Look them up and enjoy!
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