The Schlapp’s Exorcist | Chapo Trap House

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 181

  • @josephkolar3443
    @josephkolar3443 Год назад +124

    If gardeners are so useless during a war, how does she explain Samwise Gamgee?

    • @theroyalcrane
      @theroyalcrane Год назад +5

      Someone's gotta provide the food.

    • @refoliation
      @refoliation Год назад +6

      I call them defeat gardens

    • @Mark-jr6ld
      @Mark-jr6ld Год назад +8

      And just who do these biddies think is growing all the tobacco, opium, coca, and weed in this damn ass world? They grow it for you, sweetie!

    • @bigburd875
      @bigburd875 Год назад +8

      In ww1, the Bulgarian army had entire divisions dedicated to farming vegetables and herding cattle to feed their army, and the French and German armies used POWs as farm laborers, often the prisoners on farms were the best fed!

    • @itsAmeOFP
      @itsAmeOFP Год назад +3

      Checkmate nerds

  • @wamatt2476
    @wamatt2476 Год назад +14

    It's also better to be a warrior in a garden than a warriors in a war. Really, the garden is just always preferable to a warzone.

  • @THX11458
    @THX11458 Год назад +23

    It is both ironic and hilarious that Matt's grandfather tried to avoid action in WW2 by joining the merchant marine, since it was the US branch of service that had, by far, the highest casualty rates.

  • @function0077
    @function0077 8 дней назад +2

    I love how truly baffled the guys were by the saying, "it is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war." I think they completely missed the point of this saying.

  • @proffingers
    @proffingers Год назад +19

    The greatest shitplane in history was Japanese Airlines incident in 1975, when 197 people ate the contaminated omelets for breakfast on approach to Copenhagen. A Boeing 747, with a total of 344 passengers, 14 bathrooms, and 197 people spewing out both ends for 90 minutes, 150 of whom required hospitalization, none of whom were the same again.

    • @feydrautha012
      @feydrautha012 Год назад +1

      I like to imagine the 1st class section had some of those closing doors to separate them from all of the unwashed masses, and of course, due to some sort of fancy steak breakfast, didn't get sick. But the sliding doors to the poors section starts to buckle, and eventually breaks open. It's like that scene in the Shining with the elevator, but instead it's just liquid frothy sh*t flowing in.

  • @aurus6483
    @aurus6483 Год назад +23

    My landlord destroyed and woodchipped my garden this year. I had poured my soul into it through Covid lockdowns and it became an anchor for my mental health. Fig Tree Girl resonated a bit.
    EDIT: it gets more fucked up, he was texting me with links to YT videos on aquaculture set-ups the entire time bc he fancied himself as a gardener and thought we shared a common interest (as he is killing my garden). He then got upset that it looked bare, so he went to a nursery, brought back a bunch of plants and put them pot and all into holes in the soil in the front garden. They are now rootbound and dying. I am not allowed to take them out and plant them properly because it is legally theft and interference in my (Western) country

    • @00SmileTime00
      @00SmileTime00 Год назад +11

      I don't consider myself a Maoist, but the dude was right about landlords.

    • @Gum_Cuzzler
      @Gum_Cuzzler Год назад +7

      He should have ran himself through the woodchipper

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 Год назад

      Why did this misunderstanding persist?

    • @aurus6483
      @aurus6483 Год назад +2

      @@justcommenting4981 because he is my landlord and can make me houseless in a city where there is no protection for houseless people

    • @aurus6483
      @aurus6483 Год назад +2

      @@justcommenting4981 while we'r at it, dont frame the destruction of a living ecosystem as a "misunderstanding". It is ecocide. There are no insects, birds or wildlife left where the garden once was. It is needless, pointless destruction in the midst of a mass extinction event.

  • @robbyf5522
    @robbyf5522 Год назад +23

    This isn’t a British person.
    “What?!”
    This isn’t a British person.
    “This is a regular American? Ok this person has issues”

  • @Kwalk1989
    @Kwalk1989 Год назад +13

    They played margaritaville for a sec and it left me with nostalgia and existential dread in equal measures.

    • @joshuamarx8209
      @joshuamarx8209 Год назад

      As it should. This shit is evil, you know?

  • @Oceanmachine27
    @Oceanmachine27 Год назад +31

    I want to hear Mark Wahlberg talk about how if he had been on the diarrhea plane, things wouldn't have gone down that way.

  • @trentwolfgram9571
    @trentwolfgram9571 Год назад +14

    This is hilariously adorable, I have a large garden, and not only does my wife not have any interest in it, but actively gets annoyed when I spend more than a few hours in it or a few minutes talking about it. She does love the fresh cucumber and peppers though, so that feels nice when she admits it's worth it.

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 Год назад +2

      The cucumber she tells you not to worry about. Your wife's cucumber.

    • @joefrancis759
      @joefrancis759 Год назад

      +1, the stereotyping that hardly applies at all in my life did give me a chuckle

  • @HazMatt88
    @HazMatt88 Год назад +18

    No Felix? NO FELIX?!....alright i'll still listen

  • @BoneMachine1443
    @BoneMachine1443 Год назад +7

    the movie trailer that tries to wring gravitas outta Italian Russell Crowe saying "talk to my-a boss: da *pope* " is the hardest I've ever laughed in a theatre

  • @moasto02
    @moasto02 Год назад +6

    Chris has such a soothing voice that he fully classes up the pod.

  • @undeniablyfunk5497
    @undeniablyfunk5497 Год назад +8

    Real straight hours, folks

  • @fritzophrenia3146
    @fritzophrenia3146 Год назад +12

    That article writer clearly hasn't met dudes homegrowing weed, those dudes can get really weird with it

  • @ohbluescouser6267
    @ohbluescouser6267 Год назад +13

    I'll have to make sure to never take the brown eye flight from ATL to Barcelona

  • @zhadom1902
    @zhadom1902 Год назад +10

    "men kill plants!" Yells the woman who threatened to kill her father's pothos and damage the landscapers van

    • @Mark-jr6ld
      @Mark-jr6ld Год назад +2

      Men don't love any specific plants enough that they would threaten other plants in a fit of passion to exact revenge!

  • @maknavickas
    @maknavickas Год назад +11

    I honestly think I will see an American Orthodox Church in my lifetime and that thought is horrifying.

  • @freakyzed8467
    @freakyzed8467 Год назад +9

    Did my time in the 1st Cav on tanks. Went to the desert, where no gardeners were present. Maybe the Middle East just needs more gardeners?

    • @xalrath
      @xalrath Год назад +2

      useless trivia: that was a lot of its problem
      the middle east used to be an awful lot greener, but farm intensively enough for long enough and you will eventually kill the earth itself. nutrients are exhausted, wells start bringing up salt, and what was a green field in your great grandfather's day becomes a sandy waste in yours. please do not ask how much is left of the aquifer that feeds most of the american midwest btw.

    • @joshuamarx8209
      @joshuamarx8209 Год назад +1

      ​@@xalrathhow much is left?

    • @xalrath
      @xalrath Год назад +2

      @@joshuamarx8209 the Ogallala Aquifer is fine for at least another [inaudible] years

  • @jamesbunch8932
    @jamesbunch8932 Год назад +9

    I wonder if the Schlapp's asked Rod Dreher for a reference to a good exorcist?

  • @theswayzeexpress1
    @theswayzeexpress1 Год назад +7

    I guess Adam Friedland had a change of flight plans 💩

  • @tcrime
    @tcrime Год назад +6

    Who among us has never demolished a lady garden or two in our time? Also, hearing Adrian Chiles mentioned on Chapo feels like I'm having a hallucination.

  • @thedumpsterdaddy5692
    @thedumpsterdaddy5692 Год назад +21

    SCHLAPP SCHLAPP SCHLAPP SCHLAPP
    GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT

  • @uncletoogie
    @uncletoogie Год назад +8

    His name is Dick Fuld, er Matt Schlapp. You cannot make this shit up.

  • @middle_pickup
    @middle_pickup Год назад +6

    The thought that all men are warriors, and all women are gardeners is pretty funny.

  • @redactedmane
    @redactedmane Год назад +14

    this artwork is dope, it never gets old, especially the CIA top secret memo on the table next to the gaming earphones.

    • @ohbluescouser6267
      @ohbluescouser6267 Год назад +3

      I think the books by gorka and knausgaard lying on the floor was even funnier

    • @redactedmane
      @redactedmane Год назад +2

      @ohbluescouser6267 the gorka appearances are to me, peak chapo

  • @philipmeade7789
    @philipmeade7789 Год назад +9

    Orchids are just trying to die, they’re fuckin hopeless

  • @joefrancis759
    @joefrancis759 Год назад +5

    "cactuses" lol - cooking is a good gateway to gardening, nice work on the heirloom tomato mention

  • @MarxistLasagnaist420
    @MarxistLasagnaist420 7 месяцев назад +6

    I never realized how seriously suburbanites took “lawn culture” I grew up in a trailer park and/or low-rent exurban areas where the “lawn” was just the grass outside the house. You mowed it occasionally and watered it only when it died and started to yellow. I remember trenching my own lawn with a 4 wheeler at 12 with my entire families consent and when the landlord told me to stop my dad called the landlord gay and my uncle threatened to kill him. We had nothing and were okay with it because we had fun & each other. Suburbanites have nothing but have convinced themselves they have something thus making an arbitrary object like their patch of grass a totem for their illusion of something, which they’ll kill for. Sad existence

  • @chawaiian3795
    @chawaiian3795 Год назад +5

    How funny is it that Felix isn't here when they talk about being a "gardener in a war"

  • @samiamrg7
    @samiamrg7 Год назад +6

    Yeah, my dad had and has a tendency to be a bit agressive when it comes to cutting down the plants in late fall, as well as mowing around the edges of the gardens too aggressively. Recently, he pulled up some milkweed that was given to us by a friend of my mom’s, but thankfully, it had a bunch of rhizomes in the waiting that popped a bunch of new shoots up.

  • @ohbluescouser6267
    @ohbluescouser6267 Год назад +10

    I think the Chapo boys need to own up and finally reveal it to their fans....that was Virgil on the diarrhea flight to Barcelona. He was the culprit.

  • @noahwoods9102
    @noahwoods9102 Год назад +9

    BUT HOW CAN SHE SCHLAPP?!

  • @chadrageus
    @chadrageus Год назад +6

    Someone got paid to write that plants vs oafs article. Jesus Christ.

  • @SaxtonFail
    @SaxtonFail Год назад +5

    The lawn bit made me want to see the boys get Crime Pays but Botany Doesn't on the show. It would be pretty cool I think

    • @joefrancis759
      @joefrancis759 Год назад +2

      this would be pretty interesting, love Joey

  • @mikevanderheiden
    @mikevanderheiden Год назад +5

    Well done. Funny as hell

  • @gangofgreenhorns2672
    @gangofgreenhorns2672 6 месяцев назад +2

    44:40 standard pruning for a grape vine is to take off like 90% of the material, so to kill one by pruning is...almost incredible lol.

  • @stefanoalves8862
    @stefanoalves8862 Год назад +3

    40:06 I love Andrew Chiles so much. Just pure, innocent day-to-day minutia in his writing.

  • @unreasonablyagreeable1081
    @unreasonablyagreeable1081 Год назад +6

    The schlapps are back!

  • @bobandy6412
    @bobandy6412 Год назад +9

    Is Matt talking through a guitar amplifier? Not complaining, but I think it could be further enhanced by adding some flange

  • @RIP_Greedo
    @RIP_Greedo Год назад +18

    Ha I just so happened to watch The Pope’s Exorcist last week. Piece of shit but partly redeemed by the many scenes of rotund Russell riding around Europe on his teeny tiny scooter. Some funny/curious Catholic revisionism too. At one point Crowe’s character laments that he didn’t do more to help the victims of Vatican sex abuse, who in this fiction are all adult women. He teams up with a local priest who struggles with his own guilt over having had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a parishioner - also an adult woman. Make of this what you will.

    • @Mark-jr6ld
      @Mark-jr6ld Год назад +7

      Lol these Catholic priests are only as guilty as milkmen delivering loads to lonely housewives.

    • @joshuamarx8209
      @joshuamarx8209 Год назад

      Catholicism is and has been Protestantism since before your bloodline..

    • @AwesomeReshiram
      @AwesomeReshiram Год назад

      papists will molest ur child then make a movie about how that made them feel sad and also how the gays are the devil

  • @adriandavies8097
    @adriandavies8097 Год назад +7

    Noon Central African Time once more, enkosi Chapo

  • @dogsandyoga1743
    @dogsandyoga1743 Год назад +3

    Trumps comedian timing is impeccable...

  • @zyguit
    @zyguit Год назад +2

    Will called a plane a "hermetically sealed soda can" that's accurate

  • @Grober7
    @Grober7 Год назад +2

    @9:59 for the start of the Jimmy Buffet discussion, if you're like me and have been listening to it on repeat

  • @Mark-jr6ld
    @Mark-jr6ld Год назад +6

    How do you boys like yer schlappy joes? I made em extra schlaaaappy fer yas!

  • @ohErza
    @ohErza Год назад +6

    They pretty much just upload whenever 😅

    • @q1pit1
      @q1pit1 Год назад +2

      They took labor day off as if podcasting is a real job

    • @refoliation
      @refoliation Год назад +2

      Like when it’s ready?

  • @someoldcliche
    @someoldcliche Год назад +2

    I'm ready to get schlapped baybeeee

  • @olliegray7068
    @olliegray7068 Год назад +2

    Turder on the Orient Express

  • @Spencer481
    @Spencer481 Год назад +4

    Get you a girl who can Schlapp

  • @RyanTennant
    @RyanTennant Год назад +3

    If anyone's interested in The Original Poop Plane you may enjoy this preview of WTYP's bonus episode from a few months back ruclips.net/video/OEO5Zgbhc1Q/видео.html

  • @BNardolilli
    @BNardolilli Год назад +1

    places everybody!

  • @andrewdunn8778
    @andrewdunn8778 Год назад

    6:00 "Lets bog roll"

  • @Alex-od7nl
    @Alex-od7nl Год назад +1

    if you have an aphid problem, use wasps.

  • @thewintersessions
    @thewintersessions Год назад +9

    Shows good when producer guy talks more, especially bouncing off Matt. Helps counter the work from home vibes

    • @burieddagger8064
      @burieddagger8064 Год назад +9

      Yeah Matt and Chris have great on air chemistry

    • @BigHomieGayAss1917
      @BigHomieGayAss1917 Год назад

      @@burieddagger8064yeah they should do a podcast or two together

  • @JDBees37
    @JDBees37 Год назад

    These guys need to take a turf class😂

  • @gobblu
    @gobblu Год назад +6

    Why is the audio so terrible

    • @freakyzed8467
      @freakyzed8467 Год назад +2

      Your ears are gaslighting you.

    • @spartan117q13
      @spartan117q13 Год назад

      Felix was there doing the Live mixing.

    • @xalrath
      @xalrath Год назад

      matt does not understand what a microphone is let alone what a level is

  • @TheRealBErhart
    @TheRealBErhart Год назад +6

    if Trump was going to take so many vacations, then the least he could have done was advocate for more time off for the forgotten man. America has 0 guaranteed days off, which is literally the lowest possible amount. I get the chapo boys love Trump, but as a wage slave, he's wrong for this one 💁‍♀️

    • @discountchocolate4577
      @discountchocolate4577 Год назад

      They "love" Trump the same way cape comics fans love the Joker (I'm talking the Mark Hamill or Heath Ledger versions, not Arthur Fleck). The concept of Trump as a fictional chaotic evil villain character is _very_ entertaining, the only problem is he's a real person with real power who does evil shit in real life.

  • @post-centrist666
    @post-centrist666 4 месяца назад +1

    6:00 “Red Eye”? You mean Pink Eye

    • @jaredandrews5806
      @jaredandrews5806 3 месяца назад

      Is there a difference between Pink Eye and Pink Guy?

  • @jamescoll130
    @jamescoll130 Год назад

    He's my lover...schlapp!
    He's my intern...schlapp!
    He's my lover...schlapp!
    He's my intern...

  • @ewee4735
    @ewee4735 Год назад +1

    Matt's microphone sounds terrible 😫

  • @wolfeski
    @wolfeski Год назад +8

    Felix has been absent a lot lately. I wonder if he's on his way out

  • @BenjaminGlatt
    @BenjaminGlatt Год назад +2

    Dónde está fucking baño?

  • @maxwellkazemba2299
    @maxwellkazemba2299 Год назад +3

    Convenient that Felix isn't on to discuss the allegations.

    • @2intheampm512
      @2intheampm512 Год назад +7

      ?

    • @joshuamarx8209
      @joshuamarx8209 Год назад

      Yeah the internet doesn't really matter unless you want it to.

    • @BigHomieGayAss1917
      @BigHomieGayAss1917 Год назад +3

      He’s never beating the being Jewish allegations 😔

    • @feydrautha012
      @feydrautha012 Год назад +2

      You mean the allegations about being the doodoo-ass guy on the plane?

  • @bucketiii7581
    @bucketiii7581 Год назад +4

    Hey, are you guys going after the independent yt guys who clip your show? Because if so, I'm outtie af.

    • @freddiekruger3339
      @freddiekruger3339 Год назад +4

      The ones who clip nah, they literally let acid Marxist post an 8 hour video lol. The ones uploading full patreon episodes tho yea.

    • @achnix3167
      @achnix3167 Год назад +7

      @@freddiekruger3339 if you still pay for Chapo you gotta be dumb at this point lol. I never would either way but its so easy to get patreon feed

    • @RayLRhodes
      @RayLRhodes Год назад

      Ok, you won't be missed.

  • @Kcoldraz
    @Kcoldraz Год назад +3

    Are they really doing exorcism. That just sounds like blessing of premises. But I suppose we Catholics does expect house or office blessings to exorcise bad spirits. 😀

    • @josephkolar3443
      @josephkolar3443 Год назад +2

      It was probably just a blessing and the Schlapps and their henchmen were too dumb to tell the difference. For instance, Catholic exorcisms require the presence of a doctor and a relative of the same sex as the subject.

  • @conor2439
    @conor2439 Год назад +4

    Bring back Brendan full time

  • @skiptoacceptancemdarlin
    @skiptoacceptancemdarlin Год назад +5

    Matt, calm down. you're gonna have a stroke

    • @majikss
      @majikss 7 месяцев назад +2

      good one

  • @veeas11
    @veeas11 Год назад +6

    just skip to 6:30 -- idk why they even discussed this airplane story.

    • @52flyingbicycles
      @52flyingbicycles Год назад

      Thank you

    • @maxwellkazemba2299
      @maxwellkazemba2299 Год назад +9

      You're in a hurry for someone listening to an hour long podcast

    • @52flyingbicycles
      @52flyingbicycles Год назад +3

      @@maxwellkazemba2299 it’s not about speed, the story is gross

    • @dangerousd1312
      @dangerousd1312 Год назад +8

      cuz doo doo is funny???

    • @veeas11
      @veeas11 Год назад

      more of im struggling to see the point in discussing violent explosive diarrhea that some rando 3rd party had on an ostensibly, left-wing political podcast@@maxwellkazemba2299

  • @blackdog9698919
    @blackdog9698919 Год назад +3

    The "a woman's job in the home is to tend the lawn, and a man's job is to kill her plants" suburban thing is true though. The only guy I know who does anything with plants besides mow and kill them is gay. I'm a dude, so I wouldn't know, but I guess there's some kind of subculture among suburban women about plants, where they like talk about plants and encourage each other to waste time gardening so their husbands can kill the plants they grow.
    Honestly women should just either make communal gardens, instead of house lawns, where they can hang out and grow """herbs""" and flowers and whatever, and their men aren't allowed near them, or else they should just get into gaming like normal people. Trying to turn your house's lawn into a garden is just silly.

    • @joshuamarx8209
      @joshuamarx8209 Год назад +10

      Lawns are silly. Growing plants is never silly. Wtf is wrong with you?

    • @gobblu
      @gobblu Год назад +2

      Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town? Here's a first for you, I'm a man who enjoys taking care of houseplants and gardens and doesn't enjoy mowing.

    • @blackdog9698919
      @blackdog9698919 Год назад

      @@gobblu Good for you.

    • @blackdog9698919
      @blackdog9698919 Год назад

      @@OrbStealer It's true. Suburban people are weird. That's not even getting into all the underpaid immigrants (mostly men) who are hired to mow lawns, fiddle with trees, and (despite the article's implications) tend gardens.
      I think people are misreading the tone of my post. I'm not saying like "gardening is for _gay girls_ lol!!" It's just my own experience with this subject based on living in the American suburbs. It makes people very odd, and what the article describes is definitely a real phenomenon. Not a _universal_ phenomenon, obviously, but definitely a thing.
      I do think communal neighborhood gardens instead of house lawns would be a good idea though.

  • @Louie_The_Dago
    @Louie_The_Dago Год назад +7

    God, Felix is so unfunny

    • @Louie_The_Dago
      @Louie_The_Dago Год назад +2

      Also last night I frotted a filipino in a field

    • @kazumahazeuzumaki
      @kazumahazeuzumaki Год назад +8

      He's not even in this one. Jesus, I wish I enjoyed anything as much as people hate Felix.

    • @5508Vanderdekken
      @5508Vanderdekken Год назад +8

      @@kazumahazeuzumakilol does this prove the guy doesn’t even listen to the eps? What a fumble