Everyone on social media IS FAKE!!!
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
- Hey, Guys! (WATCH IN HD)
Here is a random rambles for you... where I go on and on about instagram for 20 minutes lmao! I hope you enjoy! Thanks for watching! xoxo!
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Hey! I'm Kathleen. An oddball Aquarius with a love for all things beauty! I keep it simple on this channel and give reviews and tutorials and sometimes I do fun challenges, but for the most part, I stay pretty old school. I upload on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays unless otherwise noted (usually on Twitter so be sure to follow me there). If I am doing a sponsored video, it will be on one of my off days so you get bonus content :)
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#Kathleenlights #KatChats #RandomRambles
THIS 🙌🏻
I have a total Apple body shape, and it literally is the ANTITHESIS of the current desired social media body shape. I have a tiny butt, tiny legs, and a bigger belly and upper body. I also have tiny TINY lips, no definition in my jawline, Clothes don’t fit me like other people, and you know what??? None of that matters in the SLIGHTEST.
I had to tell myself that NONE of that is who I am as a person. Nobody looks at me and judges me on my insecurities and if they do, that’s not someone who’s opinion I value anyway. I am a good person with a good heart and a wonderful family and great friends and the size of my waist, or the bagginess of my pants on my tiny non existent ass is irrelevant to who I am and how I am defined as a human.
Not ONCE in my life have I seen your smile lines, Kathleen. Not. Once. I’ve sat with you and never have seen anything but how beautiful your smile is. Not once have I thought “she has small lips” - all I see is a gorgeous woman with a hilarious and fun personality with an awesome channel who has stayed completely true to herself through and through no matter what.
The Kardashians are beautiful, but so are we. If we all looked the same, how BORING.
I am glad to look different, be different, have small lips, a bigger stomach, because it’s how I was born. I am SUPPOSED to look like this. If someone wants to change themselves because they’re unhappy? Totally fine, but the opposite is true too. Wrinkles aren’t bad. Smile lines mean you’re happy, crows feet mean we laugh a lot and have happy kind eyes.
We are valid influencers, beauty enthusiasts and content creators no matter WHAT we look like. Point blank PERIOD.
Love you girl!!!
God. I love you both and I’m so happy there are influencers like you two to keep us all grounded in this crazy world of social media. THANK YOU.
I love this
I wish I could like this comment 1000 times. You are brilliant and and beautiful person Kristi!!
RawBeautyKristi I LOVE YOU REAL DAD ❤️❤️
Just wanted to add "You're my real Dad" I couldn't agree more. I got a belly because I love food. I have wrinkles because I'm 45 years old and I've earned every damn one of them. I think you're both absolutely gorgeous woman with hearts of gold. 😘
Just keep in mind: most of your followers, like me, adore you because of your lack of social media presence. You’re not posting fluff and being fake which is so refreshing!
Alli V I couldn’t have said it better!! 💯
Exactly!
Agreed!
Well said! Exactly!👏👏👏
YES
I honestly don’t even watch beauty videos on RUclips anymore. Everyone is either always trying to get you to buy something or trying to flex their luxurious life. And it’s just so draining to watch
Same. Its drama filled now and its just not fun anymore
Same!!!
not all of us are like that though.. the bad ones always give the good ones a bad rep.
Agreed
Yep...
The word “influencer” is literally so cringy to me.
DaniellaRenae “social media marketing” is the new influencer term. Whatever we all call it, it is hard work! But agreed, the word had become tainted and cringy.
YES! 100% agree.
No offense, but hard work compared to???
Me2
Social media is full of smoke & mirrors; people inventing a life they don’t actually live. It’s becoming harder to tell who’s real & who’s fake because there are so many on the platform. Life is not meant to be a burden of always trying to impress others & put on a mask! Live!
Recently I heard someone say, “We compare our behind the scenes to someone elses highlight reel”. This statement hit me hard!
Alayna Glover That’s brilliant and perfectly stated! Thank you!
Alayna Glover Couldn’t have said it better 👍🏻
Alayna Glover if that’s not the truth
WOW, that is so true!
Alayna Glover preach
Honestly social media has stolen away who we are as people.
It really sadly has 💔
Shayleigh Pappas should be top comment
And individuality. Everyone is trying to be what they see. They don't find who they are.
I feel so zombies out.
I don’t have social media other than RUclips which I only use to watch videos and Snapchat which I never post on 😂 if you ever feel like you’re getting to drawn into it then I recommend deleting it! That’s not the reason why I don’t have it I just have never felt the need to have it but I think that would help soo many people out there.
The world is turning into that Black Mirror episode where everyone gets a social score. And it's scary.
That was one of my favorite episodes in the sense of just how relevant it is in today's world. Sad really
They have social scores in China already
Nose dive!
I wouldn't survive because I don't even have Instagram or Facebook XD
I hope people wake up and influencing will be pure and real again. People who really achieve something and do something great and sencefull will be the real influencer
iamkellij that was an eye opener episode
Amen to every sentence. We are wasting our LIFE online
Yes
I think it depends on how you use your online time. For me, it's my business. I run my photography through online networks and social media. It is vital for my research and service.
@@JT-gm4fk keep lying to yourself
Yes I wasted a lot throughout these past few years after going through something traumatic at work and I'm on Facebook a lot just to feel better but I feel worse when I look at they're perfect life although I was hurt by one of them
The fact that you don't have that "influencer" presence, is what makes you different and relatable. Don't give in Kathleen! We love you for YOU
hannah kaske YES
I agree! It's so nice to see, makes me love her even more lol
Agreed!
hannah kaske if I could like this ten times I would
She's so effortlessly funny too, I love that about her
As a 28 year old woman who is also a big home body with literally 0 friends... I like having you to relate to.
r0bbinz same girl.... Same!
Same!
Same here !!! 😕😕
r0bbinz Me Too!
Same 😣
Please don’t feel pressured to post everyday. That’s so ridiculous
I just love Kathleen.. She keeps shit so real. It's refreshing
You’re not a “usual” influencer. You’re real and raw. That’s RARE.
Raquel Morales and thats the reason why we love her so much honestly
Yes exactly! I was screaming that all along the video... Another video that makes me love Kathleen more 💕
Raquel Morales that’s what we love about Kathleen
Thats way I love her!!! I feel like she's legit, I wouldn't question anything she says. Kathleen you're the best! Please never change.
Exactly she is so relatable. There's never a time I look at her and have negative thoughts about myself.
It’s refreshing that you’re not on social media every 5 seconds. I can’t stand these influencers that are online 24/7 or snap ridiculous amounts of selfies.
I agree.
Agreed! Please don't change
I totally agree! Don’t be hard on yourself for that ❤️
Lol why? It’s not really your business. If someone wants to make money, who cares.
Agreed.
I totally agree about the "cookie cutter" comment. I feel that whenever a person gets fillers or has surgery, they tend to look like everyone else. I can't tell people apart... no unique qualities left in their face. They are beautiful, but just the same as the next person.
Mara Bruyere YES!
But kat had cosmetic surgery...
100%
Love your comment 💜💜
ッElizabeth Kat but she doesn’t look like every other influencer that gets work done. she doesn’t look like a copy. she looks like herself. and unique. that’s the point.
You’re NOT the influencer type and that’s the only reason why I ever even open RUclips anymore and hope to see a new video from you. That’s what makes you better than the rest of them. Seriously, never change
Someone once said “people use social media to compare other peoples highlights to our own behind the scenes” and that has really stuck with me
Wow hit the nail on the head! 👌
Another one i like is "not even the woman in the magazine looks like the woman in the magazine"
@@wilted_rose510 what she means is that we compare ourselves in a not so flattering state (for example bloated, without makeup, in our pijamas, hair undone) with people in a picture who have a face full of makeup, a pretty outfit, maybe some help of photoshop and of course we are not gonna look the same.
gigi nury well that but also how our lives are portrayed. Kathleen leaves a great example about mom groups. As a mom myself I find myself feeling like I need to have everything perfect because clearly all these other women have it perfect. But I need to remind myself that everyone CHOOSES what they put on their social media.
This is including physical features as well that Kathleen has already mentioned.
So true and good to hear 👏👏👏
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Alex Young 💯%
I do not know who you are. I needed to see this! Totally off-topic, but I am a Regional Sales Manager and it's all numbers and comparisons. Takes a toll on you!
This is true. Lost my way for so long because of this. Always comparing my body, face & life to other girls. Now im trying to focus on myself & see how far I can get.
“I’d love to be a Coca-Cola bottle” lmaoooo Kathleen. I adore you. Your chicken legs. Your honesty. Your realness. I appreciate you in so many ways.
‘Show us you’re a real person, just like the rest of us.’ 🙌🙌🙌
You’re not an influencer. You’re a role model. That’s why we like you.
DUDE that distinction just blew my mind!
Thiiiissssssss
THIS. Thank you so much!
You hit the nail on the head! She truly is a role model. I am 8 months pregnant with a little girl and I have hope for her future if there are role models like Kathleen in her life.
Emily Alby this!!!
I started unfollowing a lot of “influencers”- beauty and fitness. Because it was making me wish I had nicer things and had a better looking body. I’ve been a lot happier since I unfollowed those people. Thank you for being you!!!
Kaynichydee same here ,I only follow people that actually teach me something about life or that inspire me to be a better person.
I feel you girl
Me too. I did the same thing.
Dude me too. I unfollowed all of those perfectly polished size 0 models, and now when I open my Instagram I just see meme pages and my friends. :) it’s perfect lmao
"I want to see your cat wearing a funny hat, I want to see your pimple, I want to see what you look like when you don't brush your hair." -Kathleen
I’m so glad social media didn’t exist when I was growing up. It would have devastated my self esteem even worse. It’s frustrating because I have a 13&14 year old. I’m 34 and grew up in the 90’s. All of these movies this past few decades have grown women, with grown bodies portraying young high school girls. In turn, young high school girls think there’s something wrong with them because they don’t look like that. Now the bar has raised and i try my best to communicate the reality of social media with my girls.I jumped on the lip filler band wagon mainly because of social media. I never really thought I had small lips, but I saw all the those beautiful full lips and I wanted some too. I got a breast lift, but that’s something I’ve always wanted. The plastic surgery part doesn’t bother me....I love it! It’s the people faking the perfection with filters, making everything look glamorous and making their worth amount to “followers and likes”.
Omg. I know. I'm 39 and grew up in the 80's. I was just telling my husband how I couldn't have imagined what social media would've done to my self esteem if it existed growing up. Smh.
This was probably my favorite video from you! Only because it’s all things most people want to say but are afraid to for fear of not keeping up with the perfect life. You, Kathleen, are so loved because you are so real- your audience can see that and loves you! Social media IS toxic so take breaks whenever and never feel guilty. And girl, I work nonstop in my sweats most days so keep hustling and build that dream business! That’s more important than an Instagram selfie. Love you Kathleen and sending you love! And huge congrats on your nail polishes- so happy for you 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼❤️❤️❤️
Marlena! Omg I've watched u since you started! I adore Kathleen and this video I needed to hear and soo many other women. I've been hearing a lot of this lately. IG and social media has brought down my self esteem so much, made me insecure, and a little depressed to feel I'm not good enough or pretty enough. I used to be so confident. I'm 33 just had s baby and am engaged. My body is changing and bc of stress I'm wasting away and trying to gain weight and can't. I want to be like those models and kno I never will, social media has made a big negative impact on women's self esteem.
Marlena your amazing, today I was watching your old videos, how cool to see your comment and support!
I couldn't agree more Marlena! 💖💖👏
Well said Marl
Well said Marlena!! The more realistic influencers are, the more we relate to them!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Marlena come thru!
“ social media reminds me of my insecurities “
I felt that. 💯
This is perfect and I kind of needed this. It reminds me of the tweet Chrissy Teigen recently had where she went to yoga and the instructor asked if she just had a baby and she said "well 18 months ago" and the instructor was like "uh, yeah, that's JUST" and Chrissy was like... shook by that concept. It makes me so sad that mothers feel so pressured to "get their bodies back" when their body IS their body and it's a result of doing something so beautiful like creating life. It's important to feel good about yourself, and it's okay to make changes to your body like lip fillers and fake boobs and stuff, but you shouldn't have to feel like you NEED to do it because of social media. You can do it, it just sucks that social media enhances the feeling that it has to happen in order to be beautiful.
There is just way too much focus on looks nowadays. What you look like should be (and most likely is) the least interesting thing about you. If people would put the same amount of energy into being kind, compassionate, educated and just generally good people, as they do into worrying about how big their boobs are or how straight their nose is, we would live in a much better world. The only person that can profit from you looking good is you, but your great ideas, kind words and compassion have the potential to change the whole world.
Someone the best, most well-written comment I’ve seen in a long time
@@olivianewberry3980 thank you 😊
There's a quote it goes: "The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." Lesson to learn: You may think everyone is better than you are, but you are only seeing the image they portray to others.
Yes! Love that quote. ☺️
K Tan well said. Here here!
❤️
K Tan couldn’t agree more with you
Well said🙏🏽
I was having a conversation with a client. Aging came up. She said “some people don’t even get to age” and that sent me in a rabbit hole of thoughts that opened my mind. Feeling blessed to have this life, where some get sick or a tragedy happens where life is shortened. To see ourselves go on with the milestone of every line or whatever is a wonderful thing
Love this!
I just lost a very important friend at the age of 29 and your comment hit close to home.
Your comment made me tear up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ♡
hannah iozzia oh my goodness yes! We should feel so blessed to have the opportunity to age!
that was deep. i loved this.
This is why you’re pretty much the last “beauty influencer” I still follow. I get everything you’ve said and I feel the same way. I appreciate that social media hasn’t changed you and that you can be this candid and honest. ❤️
I read something once that helped me tremendously. Unfollow all these “influencers” and start following positive pages! Follow pages that show the imperfections in humans that us us. Follow pages that have uplifting quotes.
We need to work on our hearts more than our outward appearance.
Redhot Chickpeas YES. THIS.
"It's a soul that needs a surgery...." from Pretty Hurts
❤️❤️❤️
Kathleen: “I’m not like other influencers”
Me: *that’s why you’re my favorite*
exactly!
Yasss!!!
😍😍😍
only million-level beauty RUclipsr I’ve followed and not unsubscribed!
She didn't really need to say it, it's obvious she isn't! ♥️
Preach honey. I am 34 and I can say I am so glad I didn’t grow up with social
Media.
Let’s call “influencers” “PUSHERS” ones who are fake, push you into doing messy things etc ya get the point.
*flowers are pretty but so are Christmas lights and theyre nothing alike*
I can't explain how much I love this
I remember this quote from years ago and I still think it works to this day💜
I love this!!
KATHLEEN RESPONDED ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
preach.
I love how she said how do I get a cute picture when I don’t go out and have no social life” I felt it. You’re the only one that makes me feel still good and human
Same, my sister doesn't really care for "RUclipsrs" or "influencers" but loves Kathleen because she is so real and relatable. Also Kathleen can just post pictures of her dogs everyday and that would be cool.
Omg same here. I just had the thought the other day about how insecure I am because my insta doesn’t have beautiful pics of me in the wilderness (not that I don’t love being outside). Most of the time I’m home in my lounge clothes. My life isn’t constantly image worthy. But I can’t believe I felt bad about the fact that I am lucky enough to have quiet time to myself and that I was comparing myself to others.
“show us that you’re a real person like the rest of us” okay girl FACTS
Whenever I get on Instagram, unfortunately I feel like I just scroll endlessly through my timeline but there’s no “ooh and ah” factor. I’m just scrolling to scroll. Unless it’s art or avant garde, things that are weird and not common that grab my attention everything blends together. Thank you for making this video Kathleen! 😊
The fact that a 9 year old knows what a lip filler is and they talk about it at school is crazy.
Joanna Korolis it’s sad.
Kids tend to know a lot more than we give them credit for. I had corrective facial surgery as a kid & my classmates thought I had “plastic surgery like Britney Spears” lol.
And guess where they learned about it? Right here on RUclips.
Heard 10 year old be sad because she didn’t have a butt like bruh
That's what really worried me.
"How can I take cute little photos in cute little outfits when I live in this 4 walls?"
The realest I've heard so far! I can totally relate to you Kath. Just do you! We dont mind if you dont post on ig everyday! 😍❤
What’s so interesting about this to me is knowing that even those people whose perfect photos we are viewing, those people feel the same way we do. And they are editing and perfecting their photos for the SAME reasons we want to. They are seeing other people’s perfect photos too and feel the same pressure. So that beautiful seemingly perfect looking girl’s picture that I’m looking at is doing the exact same thing with another girl’s seemingly perfect photo. And round and round it goes. We just need to continue to remind ourselves to take everything we see with a grain of salt and understand that why we are comparing ourselves too isn’t fair bc it’s not real.
“Show is your puppy too, show ur your struggles, show us your hardships.. show us that you’re a real person like the rest of us” 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
One of the main reasons why YOU are my favorite RUclipsr ever since ☺️
"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” - Albert Einstein.
rebecca kempen great quote!! Although there’s no proof of this being Einstein’s. ☹️
THIS. THIS. THIS IS THE VIDEO EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR
And remember trends change every few years. A few years ago it was trendy to have really thin eyebrows, be really skinny etc. No doubt it'll change in a few years again
Yep! When I was at school I was teased because of the things I liked, a couple of years later those things became fashionable and everybody loved them all of a sudden. Then something else came along and they thought I was weird again but oh well. I'm not bothered about following the herd.
People like you on this platform are what gives me hope for the internet obsessed world nowadays. Love ya.
You are a breath of fresh air in a world where everyone is trying to look and act the exact same. You are a reminder to me that it’s ok to look like myself, not an instagram model. Please never change.
You know...whenever I found you, I knew you were different! You are so talented and so funny and sweet and I love how your makeup looks are super wearable! And how you have a nail polish line. You are unique! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the social media work and in your spot...I couldn’t even imagine. I now unfollow anyone who makes me feel bad about myself. You’re so right, those “perfect” influencers are beautiful people, NOTHING is wrong with looking that way! But myself, clearly not looking like that, knows that seeing those influencers makes me feel so bad. And I’m not about that!
*social media WORLD
Hey
1 year later and this is exactly how i feel always
"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Theodore Roosevelt
harley5150quinn I love this 💗
harley5150quinn my favorite quote to date 👏🏼
Tash so funny you commented on this with me I just found your channel a couple weeks ago because of Lashify subscribed and have been watching all ur videos 💗
April Kennedy wow, what are the chances?? 🥰🤗 that’s the thing I love most about social media. Connecting with people you’d otherwise never prbly meet 👏🏼❤️
This NEEDS to be #1 on trending.
You and RawBeautyKristi are my favorite influencers because you are REAL. You use your platform to break the ice for people to have these difficult conversations. Talking about these unrealistic standards is the only way to break societal standards. Go you!
Agreed! They’re both so incredibly real and raw humans. We need more Kristi’s and Kathleen’s 💕
So agree! They are both the best that we have on here! Love them!
Love this👏🏼
So true!! Love them so much!
💯 agree so much!
You speak of great points. At the end of the day, consider this: would you rather have spiritual wealth or materialistic wealth? One day we'll leave this planet and all that materialistic stuff ain't comin with us, honey. 🙌🏻
You dont have to post everyday. In fact I dont like when influencers post soo many times in a day it gets annoying. Your unique. I like you and follow you because your real. Your not some robot and you do things your own way which I appreciate and love. Your human too and we all get busy sometimes. Dont be a follower be your own leader cuz so far your the leader and i respect you for keeping it real with us.
I cried watching this. “show us your puppies too, show us your struggles too” that line hit me. so bad.
One of my favorite quotes : "Just because you don't look like somebody you think is attractive, doesn't mean you aren't attractive. Flowers are pretty but so are Christmas lights but they look nothing alike." 💕💕
Wow! Great quote
"A flower doesn't waste time comparing itself to the others beside it... it just blooms!"
I feel like these are the reason why we need to be conscious of what we are consuming. If following someone makes you feel not enough then we need to UNFOLLOW. We 100% curate what we can see and it super important to pay attention.
i love following you on instagram because you post REAL things. nothing feels staged and forced. i especially love when you post old photos from your childhood because NORMAL people post things like that on their social media. i don’t own designer bags or the latest car model. i post random photos and the occasional cat i see in my backyard too! i’ve been a follower of yours since your mississippi days and you’ve helped me grow as a person, believe it or not. you’re amazing kat, and im glad you see that everything it’s overly fake and polished online.
When you look at your smile lines and feel self conscious about them, remind yourself that you got them from smiling!! Remind yourself of all the things that made you smile and maybe try to see them as a reflection of the joy and happiness you felt that created them in the first place.
That's so beautiful! And so true!
This is exactly my perspective on my smile lines, I'm grateful for my smile lines 🥰
I wish I could tell you how much I needed to see this today :(
Karen Sonnentag Amen.
I love smile lines for this reason!! the only wrinkles I want are smile lines lol
Random rambles always make me feel like Kathleen and I are just hanging out 🥺👏
Life of Ri I hate that she can’t hear what I’m saying back to her
Natalie Porter AMEN. I’m like “girl, TELL EM” and she can’t even hear 😂
I’m so glad I have the self esteem to accept my body flaws and all.
this is my favorite video you’ve ever done. i’ve always felt so alone in this and i’ve spiraled so many times because of comparing myself to beautiful girls and beautiful bodies and it makes me crumble. i completely understand you’re not wanting to take away from those beautiful girls- but it destroys people who don’t look like that. i love this video. thank you
When I was young my mom always used to tell me that she wouldn’t dye her hair or do anything to her face, because every years she aged was a blessing. She told me it’s privilege to get to age, and earn your wrinkles and grey hairs. I’m so grateful that she did that because I carry that with me everyday. I haven enough insecurities, but when it comes to aging and all that, I feel comfortable. Youth is not the epitome of beauty, and that’s really priceless.
Emma Ariena aw I love that
I love this ❤
I believe happiness and a kind heart is the epitome of beauty
Your mom is the perfect example of someone who leads by example, and not telling u not to do the what she did, because she didn't do it. You're lucky to have a mom like yours.
I teared up at this 😭 ur mom is a wise lady.
I love that she can be so comfortable with us like she was saying. It’s a breath of relief to be able to come to her channel and know that she’s so real with us.
i can relate every single word with myself...... i am sooo insecure with my appearance..... and may be one of the reason is instagram.
So kind of you!!! Thank you!!!!!
KathleenLights I’m insecure too and did my smile lines in my 30’s - I was tired of looking like I was frowning. Your lips look awesome and are proportional to your face - there’s a video I’ll try and link that describes why some people look BETTER with thinner lips. Also, when everyone looks the same, how can people stand out? As Wayne Goss says, do the opposite.
I’m a brand new “influencer” and I’m 25... I didn’t start earlier because I always felt like I was starting too late. Recently, I felt like I actually could have a really positive influence on younger “followers” if I promise to them and myself that I stay 100% real and authentic from the start. Posting silly bloopers, burps, farts, breakouts, anything that will show my future followers that it’s acceptable to not be EDITED. We all get to a point in our life where we say, “F*** it!” And stop caring about what everyone thinks and I’m so happy to be at that point so I can start creating and enjoying my new platform.
Kathleen, this is exactly how I feel all the time. I’m definitely not a beauty blogger/influencer, and I can only imagine how difficult it is for you, because it’s so freaking hard for me as a nobody. I know all of this is fake, for the most part, but it’s so hard to differentiate between real life and social media life. My self esteem is so damn low, and I really feel like it has a lot to do with the expectations for women these days. It’s so hard to believe that anyone would want to be with me because i don’t look like the norm, I’m not thin, I’m not tan...I’m thick, I’m pale as pale comes, and I’m just the opposite. I applaud you for posting this, and this is exactly why I connect with you. Keep being you and doing what you do. Also, I know I’m 3 weeks behind on this, but I’ve been apparently living under a rock. 😁
This just made me realize I need to talk to my daughter
Yes, when she mentioned her 9 year old and lip fillers. So young hear about it... I'm so worry about my 3 year old 😕😕🙄
Melissa Freeman same
Me too
there's this really incredible essay on how to talk to your daughter about her body that i feel like every mom needs to share!! the title is
How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body
from huffington post!!
storiesinthedust thank you
I have ALWAYS loved that you shop forever 21, HM, etc because it’s so discouraging to see something cute on an influencer just to find out it’s $500. Thank you for being you Kathleen!!!
THISSSSS. Say it louder for the people in the back 🗣🗣🗣
This was so refreshing. You explained the way I feel about IG and the pressure to be perfect so well. I don't even post on my instagram anymore because it takes me so long to pick the best picture, then I feel like I need to edit it, then come up with a caption??? I rethink my choices for hours and by the time I'm ready to post, I'm so damn tired then before I know it - it's been like weeks and I feel like it's "too late" to share. Life on the internet is weird, man.
Jesus, you’re afraid of getting hate💀💔
and I’m sitting here like damn you just saved my life 😭
Sarah Falanga ❤️❤️❤️
This is exactly why I've pretty much stopped using social media, everything is superficial
Dulce Vianey It’s meaningless, and it gives a false sense of what people’s lives are really like
I have changed the kind of accounts I follow and it has gotten way better
@@giginury5872 That can certainly help, I'm glad you're having a better experience :)
I feel like that's kinda the point to an extent tho? esp for instagram. you're not gonna post the bad things in your life
Jessica Garnier No you won’t, you’re absolutely right, but at the same time looking at posts of people’s “perfect” lives constantly inevitably leads you to compare your circumstances to theirs
Your list of things you do want to see makes me think of this quote.
"Who are these women? Does anyone know? I don't recognize any of them. I want to see my best friend's big sister, the girls from the soccer team, my next door neighbor, real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are. These are the women to look up to. Let's put life back into the magazine. And fun and laughter and silliness. I think we all-I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes." -Jenna Rink, 13 Going on 30
I loved this scene ❤️👏🏻
I thought about this scene in that movie while watching her video too lol
I unfollowed all the instagram influencers who don't support meaningful topics or aren't relatable. I love following people who are honest and raw. Thanks for always being so honest! You are doing great.
This got posted at the exact time I needed to hear this message. My husband and I have tried for 8 years to have a baby. After several failed fertility treatments it has left me at a weight I never wanted to be at and insecure. Not just about the minor weight gain but also the fact that I’m 35 and childless. I look at social media constantly and see these young happy families who are beyond successful and compare my life to theirs.
Thank you for this.
Ang131 Me too. I can’t have kids and I’m 39. Knowing I can’t has actually kept me from even looking for a boyfriend or husband because it destroyed me self confidence. I’m happy for you that you at least have someone to share your life with who loves you for you. And that is so valuable. I absolutely know what you mean though, about seeing these “mom bloggers” with their “little family”. I’ve unfollowed those people. They don’t serve me, inspire me, or make me feel good about myself so I look at it like this. If I was a vegetarian, why the hell would I follow accounts about people who cook steak all the time or put bacon in all their recipes? To torture myself or make myself annoyed and angry? It’s not worth it, I just unfollow and move on.
Ang131 I also think that society teach us that if you aren’t a mother you are less of a woman but it’s not! I know you are probably hurting right now and I’m sorry but if in the end life can be exiting anyway even if you are childless. 😘
Emily Majeski I’ve unfollowed almost every mom blogger or influencers who get pregnant because the pain is real. It’s sad to say but at times it just gets the best of me. But you are right I should see the blessings I do have and maybe start to change my mindset.
Silvia Maurizzi the expectations put on women can be exhausting at times. I even find that because I’m one of the few at work who does not have kids I am EXPECTED to do more or travel more because I have no reason to not.
Ang131 I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been in your shoes. I hope and pray that God gives you the desires of your heart. 😘
I'm 31 years old. I went through my entire childhood (including high school) without any social media influence. Plus, I'm new to the whole beauty RUclips scene. All that being said, the more I watched RUclips videos and followed my favorites on Instagram, I found myself hating my skin. Hating the way makeup applied, hating the fact that my face was splotchy and textured. I didn't understand why smoothing primers weren't helping me and why my flawless skincare routine wasn't giving me the results I thought I should be seeing. Then one day, I was on Instagram looking at some stories from RUclipsr 1, who shall remain nameless. She posted a photo of herself and RUclipsr 2, that also shall remain nameless. I. WAS. SHOOK. as the kids say. RUclipsr 2 had a lot of texture to her skin. I had never seen that before. Ever. And I follow this person religiously. But because RUclipsr 1 had posted the photo, RUclipsr 2 didn't have any control on what was edited before the post went up. It was at that moment that this 31 year old adult woman stepped back and realized I had been bamboozled! We are being fed perfection as truth, and that my friends is a recipe for disaster. We have to turn inwards and look at ourselves as beauties with or without filters, with or without makeup. We have to find peace in ourselves and realize that what we see online is only through one lens. Thank you, Kathleen, for posting this video. It is what we all need to be reminded of! Here's to being better in 2020!
Amber Breaux the bamboozle is real. 34 here and good god the bamboozle is real
Yes! All of this! Also love seeing fellow 30 somethings here, I swear I feel like a grandma on RUclips sometimes lol
I feel you!! I'm 33 and feel 100% the same as you and Kathleen!!!!
I developed anorexia from social media and real life situations but mostly from what is on social media. I hate what social media has become. I miss what the internet was even 4 years ago. I’m so glad an influencer like you felt compelled to come on here and talk about a taboo topic like this, it makes people relate and feel less alone
This was the best video in my feed :) I have been learning this myself, too, and I agree. What we all look like is beautiful. You don't need makeup, or you CAN have makeup on. There is a difference between doing things to feel good about yourself because others will like it and compliment you, or doing things to feel good because you will like it and feel good about yourself. I am a mom and just recently said to myself "I want to find my style". Immediately, I felt pressure to have all these products and to change my body or have a sculpted face. It hit me that I am just trying to look a certain way that I cannot look. I have textured skin that so many makeup products that are "top rated" make look worse. Or when I wear eyeshadow it looks like its too much for my face. Contour, highlight, etc makes my face look dirty when I do it right. It doesn't work for me. So now, I just do foundation, lashes, blush, brows, and tinted lip balm.
There are so many things like this in my life, and I have realized that I have to do things because I like them or I just get down on myself. If I want to get rid of texture or scarring, I need to do it because I want to take care of my skin, not because I want someone admire my skin. If I want to lose weight, I need to do it to feel good, not to fit some idea of beauty. There is nothing wrong with trends or ideals or liking things that are popular. But it is toxic to live for them and feel like something is wrong with you if you don't fit them or even like them.
One of my friends deactivated her IG and I texted her to ask why. She said she was dealing with health problems and IG was depressing her. I noticed her looking unusually thin lately and asked no questions, just told her I was available if she needed to talk. You're right, the fake perfection really does affect the average person
Someone told me recently, YOU are always someone else’s “goals” So try to remember, in someone’s eyes you’re
doing everything right 💝
Thanks for your comment, it's very wise 😊
I love this. It’s so true!
I like that!
I am pretty sure no one's goal because everyone sees something wrong with me. And I haven't managed to reach anything special in my life.
@@bronchialaktivbalsam3830 I assure you there is or has been someone in your life who looked at you and thought "damn I wish I was like her" no matter if it's your younger silibing or a girl who saw you at school, shop, wherever. Somewhere there is a person who thinks that and you should think that too❤️ stay positive😉💕
Girl I felttttttt this.
Yes yes yes. I love this and everything you’ve said my lovely 💕🙏🏽 sending you lots of love and light! P.S - I love your smile lines xxx
I'm almost 49 and when I was little someone told me it was a good thing I'm smart since I'm not pretty. Still impacts how I see myself.
That's so awful honey! It's so sad how things that happen to us as children/teenagers still effects us in adulthood. I'm sure you are a beautiful person, inside and out! Sending positive vibes!
You are beautiful, Kim! 😍
Well that’s horrible! I’m sure there are one million beautiful things about you. Just remember those are so much more important! ❤️
I’m sorry, that sucks. But you got to live your teens, 20s and 30s without instagram sucking your life force. Man, I would’ve loved to have been a teen in the 80s. Been nostalgic about it since I was a little kid.
Omg Kim this comment instantly made me FURIOUS!!!!!! We just have to remember that person most likely isn’t very happy today.... I hope they have changed since then, that a terrible thing to tell someone! I know it’s easier said than done but don’t let those words linger in your mind! They aren’t true
I remember back in high school, about 3 years ago I had the exact same conversation with two of my friends. We all just decided to unfollow anything that isn’t a meme page or our actual friends and honestly it’s one of the best decisions ever. I became so much happier so quickly. I really do recommend it.
Ditto- I unfollowed all of the major RUclipsrs because I was spending THOUSANDS of $$ on makeup every year, because I felt forced to have all the latest and greatest. Now, I don't even wear makeup. I'm sooooo much happier! On Instagram, I only follow things that I actually want to see, 90% of which are artist and art channels. We have to make our own happiness, and if Insta models and influencers aren't doing it for you- get rid of them!!!
Alot of people don't know the difference between happy, and trying to fit in. Trying to fit in or be something will NEVER make you happy.
i love how your mirror lights reflect in your glasses .. you look like a mad scientist spitting some knowledge
When I'm not well mentally, I have to stay off social. It's a double whammy - when I see all the negativity and toxicity, it makes me feel horrible. When I see so many people showing their perfect lives and I don't have that, it makes me feel horrible. So I just have to stay off. It was interesting to me - I shared a video on IG using a skincare mask, and it was a really bad skin day for me but whatever, real life. So many of those comments were people commending me for showing my real skin, showing that I deal with acne, and not covering it up. I was actually taken aback. I'm totally guilty of facetuning out blemishes in my photos, but the very next photo I posted on Instagram I left the texture, the bumps and the blemishes in. I was wearing a full coverage foundation but I dont have a super smooth face and oh well. Real life! Thanks for the chat, Kathleen! x
Samantha March i feel the same! Is so frustrating! I don’t want your shoes as an influencer.
Imagine the poor children who are being exploited by their parents. They start to worry about how they look from a very young age and it's so sad.
So true!
I think about this all the time! I don’t think children should be on social media
Omg yes it breaks my heart to know that exists 😭. Poor babies 😭💙
That's basically danielles cohn life and its so sad
Their are so many "innocent" people out there who have a whole ass Instagram for their cute kid and dont get me wrong I love some of them but imagine what kind of pressure this puts those kids under.
I had to delete Instagram because of how toxic it was and it sounds like it’s getting worse
Yup because people suck
I know I’m late to the party in the comments, but THIS VIDEO is just one of the reasons why I love and support you Kathleen. As a young mom, I just completely relate to this. After I had my daughter, I completely threw my social media presence out of the window. I use Facebook and I’ll post on other apps every once in a while, but my posts are all about my baby. And after all these months not worrying about posting on social media, I have felt SO happy. Not being on social media and just focusing on LIFE, also helped me not compare myself to other women after having a baby. So I FEEL YOU!
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - My favorite quote. And very appropriate for this video.
Kristina Pennington I was just going to post that!
Wait actually I think it's an lds quote. It's really good.
Always been one of my favorites. And to remember that social media is the highlight reel.
I changed your likes from 666 to 667 🙃
I. LOVE. This.
Honestly social media makes me feel like I’m wasting my time in school sometimes. I know it sounds crazy but going to school and having to pay 45,000$ a year to get this degree and then hope that it all pays off at the end with a good paying job is a gamble. Sometimes I see these women and men, who I understand worked hard to get where they are, and think how come they have this lifestyle at 22-23 meanwhile me being a 26 I’m still in school and have nothing but hope to live off of.
It honestly makes depressed, it makes me think that I’m never going to finish, and if by the will of some god I do happen to finish, I know that my life will still never be like theirs.
I know I shouldn’t do that but it’s hard, and it sucks but it’s the way it is.
Don’t get me wrong I am still finishing school because at the end of the day school is what makes me happy and learning new things makes me excited especially when I know that when I’m done I’ll be helping people.
I understand how you feel. Well, put it this way. If Instagram disappears (remember Myspace? It's not relevant anymore, and one day Instagram will be gone, too), the career you are working towards will still be alive. Education is not a waste, you just have to be strategic about it. Not to mention, you get to do something productive towards society. A facetuned selfie with a million likes does not do good to anyone. It is practically meaningless. Sure, you gotta work your way up to make a good salary, but if you are disciplined with your finances you can still live a very good life.
Kimberly campos if you chose a school that cost 45k a year then you have to have the will to succeed. You can’t let yourself think this way🤷🏻♀️
Jimena I will finish that is a given nothing will ever change that but sometimes the thoughts creep up without noticing and that’s the truth.
I totally agree with you! I am currently in my third year of undergrad as a pre-med student and I will not be going straight to med school. So the thought of barely finishing med school at 27 and residency at about 30-32 is very stressful and sometimes daunting. It’s crazy to see that people my age already have all these fancy things and lots of money so young on social media. We are doing an amazing thing by going to school and enriching our knowledge so we have to push through! I know all the hard work and sacrifices will pay off in the end and we will have the privilege of understanding what hard work truly gets us. Good luck with your studies! You got this and never forget how amazing you are!
@@arielvieira603 This world needs doctors, nurses, aides, etc way more than it needs more fit, pretty people with the latest trend. So don't even for a second doubt what you're doing. You are doing so much more for yourself and for other people than social media influencers ever will. In my opinion, most social media influencers don't contribute much to society but high beauty standards, materialistic things, that for some reason having anxiety/depression is a trend, and to much PR packaging which is harmful to mother earth.
Thank you very much Kathleen for sharing this video. As a Husband to a former Sephora employee and a father to a 14 yr old girl I am very familiar with the beauty industry and as a photographer on Instagram I am challenged with the hypocrisy as well.
My wife and daughter love your videos and are big fans. We constantly make sure our daughter realizes that this world is what you make of it. So much so I have begun to get her behind the camera to see the process. This has helped immensely to get her to see how much WORK it is to look and present the image on social media.
Famous quote “everyone wants the baby, no one wants the labor pains”
Soooooo true.
Ok I will stop ranting, keep being you, keep creating, love yourself and never stop trying to be better.
Sending good vibes and holiday wishes!
Kathleen, I kid you not. My smile line is so real that it leaves a mark on my skin even without any makeup on. But because of you, because of how authentic you are that you point them out since the beginning of time that I don't worry about them too much. You remind me that it's normal to have them...and it's due to the fact that we smile a lot, which is a beautiful thing! I think if people are more open about their imperfections, a lot of the pressure would be lifted off from social media.
I've literally been having a malestrom in my head about these types of thoughts lately. The aesthetic of Instagram is how rich people are, and as a stay at home mom married to a teacher that makes me feel so... icky. Having bags and clothes and gifts and cars and vacations and diamonds have become the standard for success. It's damaging. I've been working on unfollowing influencers with that aesthetic. They 100% get to have that aesthetic - that's their choice - but I don't have to consume their content. And as far as insecurities go, I think we need to consider the real world consequences of fixing/erasing every insecurity we have. And it's exactly what you said Kathleen: everyone ends up looking the same and then it feeds the beast. Lip fillers are so common, and then everyone has big lips, and then people with thin lips feel like everyone has big lips so they get lip fillers. So on and so forth. And like you said, people can choose to do those things because it's their body but motivations of the heart need to be taken into consideration. As a personal example: I'm a mom of two, I've nursed both kids, and I've lost 65 lbs. All of that means that my breasts are saggy. I would love to have them done (because social media has lead me to believe that no one has saggy breasts), but if I get rid of my saggy breasts then I'm just contributing to that. And I used breasts because that's a relevant example I personally have, not to guilt you about your implants Kathleen. Again, everyone gets to make these choices for their own body. But it's something I have to consider. When my daughter gets older and has saggy breasts, I want her to know it's NORMAL and that my life is still great and I'm still beautiful even though my breasts aren't perky. As far as your IG is concerned, please understand that your audience, your people, your corner will find you and stick around. Please don't sacrifice your mental health for the sake of better engagement on Instagram. Anyways, I've rambled on a lot now, but I just wanted you to know that these conversations are happening and they are important. There is an audience out there that is hungry for authentic content.
VERY well said! You go girl.
I love this
Loved this comment!!
agreed!
Absolutely love this comment. Thank you for this
I actually cried for 2 hours last night about how my cystic acne has been coming back after being clear for about 4 years and was so beaten down. Waking up to watch this video was so refreshing 😩😭 I love this message.
mariah leslie Claire hang in there, girl! I’m going through the same currently. People don’t understand the mental and emotional toll that acne has on a person!
mariah leslie Claire hang in there, girl! I’m going through the same currently. People don’t understand the mental and emotional toll that acne has on a person!
@@mexicanleopardshark9305 thank you 💞 it is definitely hard on the spirits.
mariah leslie claire don’t worry girl, we all get acne! Don’t worry about it ❤️
@@lilyc9330 thanks ♥️♥️
This video is SO important. I am STRUGGLING with social media comparisons right now. Kathleen, you are my favorite RUclipsr and you always have been. I love how raw, honest, and true to yourself you are. Your real content makes you so lovable and relatable and I hope you do not let all of this pressure get to you because I think your "social media presence" is perfect just the way it is. You show us that you are a real person and we love you for this. The world of social media and the pressure it is putting on women to look a certain way is getting so out of hand; I am so happy that someone like you is talking about this topic because in reality, it is growing into a very serious topic.
Kathleen, the reason I follow you is because you’re so real and you don’t try to be like anyone else. I love that about you we need more people like that on social media! You’re awesome don’t forget that(: 💗
Because you aren’t a ‘typical influencer’ is why I watch you.
I think something to realize more than “everyone is beautiful” is that beauty isn’t everything.
Agreed!
Yes!
Sara Merchant THIS 👏👏👏this needs to be on a billboard everywhere, people need to remember this and I need to remember this. Thank you
Well said!
I think it's also important to remember that there's different part of you that can be beautiful, not just your face or body. We should strive to have beautiful minds and beautiful hearts