As a grandma myself I refuse to post any pictures of anything anywhere unless their parents ask me to do so... even then I'm not crazy about doing that. I just stick with traditional methods of driving friends crazy with all of the pictures on my phone so they can enjoy my grandkids too 😂😅😊... especially enjoy sharing the pictures of my feline granddaughter 😄... she's so cute 🥰
@@TheLadyBeltongood job, I'm an uncle and pictures of the kiddos go straight to the parents to decide which, if any, may be posted online (and specifically only post outside photos AFTER leaving the area)
Yes! And sending my them I REFUSE to send any or let anyone take pictures of my nakey babies. Or even in diapers they must be fully clothed. Because I just know one will end up on Facebook.
especially when their profiles are public 😭 the whole world should NOT have unlimited access to pictures of children the way it does. there are some awful, awful people on the internet. you always need to be aware.
I live 3 houses down from my mom. I can’t tell you how often I hear “must be so nice having your mom so close”. Ya wanna know how many times my mom’s helped with my kids in the past 8 months? Maybe twice. And she complained and asked when I’m gonna get my ass home the entire time. Everyone assumes you’ve got support when you live close to family…but no. That’s not everyone’s reality.
I feel this. Except right next door. She only grabs the kids whenever she feels guilty or for the exact amount of time for her NOT to feel guilty. Swore up and down they'd be having sleepovers and what not. I'd never see them and they'd be spoiled. I'll do dishes and they'll be back. 😅 So I guess it's something. Unlike yours. Does it count that my actual mother doesn't GET to see them due to my childhood? Nor does my father? And FIL is a package deal with MIL. I shouldn't ask him
I can't imagine that! My mom lived like maybe 1.5 miles from her mom as we were growing up. We were constantly at Grams house visiting her and Aunty! I loved spending so much time with family growing up. I wish people had such support. My Grams and Aunty even took us in when Mom had a mental break.
I live in the same house as my mother. The ATTITUDE I get when I ask her to watch them for even an hour or two so I can go to a doctors appointment or the dmv is wild. I know she didn’t really want to raise me but she acted soooo excited about my boys.
Dude when I was pregnant my parents were all "We are going to be the favorite grandparents! We are going to help you out so much!" And now they have seen him less than 10 times in the 13 months he's been growing. My baby doesn't recognize them & yet that doesn't stop them from taking awkward pictures with him like they even know him. Ya know who's his favorite grandparent? My mother in law who comes over 2-3 times a week to help out. She doesn't have a lot of money & is sore & tired but she can't help but jump with him when he reaches for her hands. She also respects my boundaries, decisions, & has seen me at my realest moments.
They don't live far away & make efforts to travel everywhere else all the time. I don't need them to rise to my expectations, but I wish we could cut through the fake bs. Like stop, you guys don't even know him or me. I'm not even your daughter, I'm like a whole other person.
Yeah I told my mom that my kids are more comfortable with their therapist than with her because she has only seen them a handful of times since they were born. they’re 28 months old and they see the therapist every week
Omg aren’t you lucky! I’m so glad to hear some mother in laws are actual human beings instead of monsters like mine. I’m not jealous of anyone who has real relationships with real people. I only wish I had someone in the in law side that cares to know these wonderful individuals I gave birth to. They’re teenagers now and don’t even know their family’s names or faces. It’s real sad
People are like this with my mom. When I'm sick, when I'm graduating, its all "it must be so nice to have your mom to help you with all this". Do you know how many times she supported me, even just emotionally, while I was earning my degree? Like twice in 5 years. Never empathised with me once. Would ask me to do extra chores because "shes too tired" even though I woke up at 4 to make my way to classes then go to work until 7, working on assignments in every spare moment I have. Do you know what she was like when I was so sick I felt like I was dying and was struggling to walk and couldn't even lie down without being in excruciating pain? Cold, didn't talk to me or ask how I'm doing and didn't even look at me, made me feel like a burden for "making her take me to the emergency room", and literally left me doubling over from pain in the corridor on the way to the doctors office and just kept walking. So great to have my mom "support" me when I feel like I'm going to die from pain.
I'm really sorry this has been your experience. Please don't let anyone gaslight you into supporting your mom when she needs it in the future if you don't want to. Family is only family if they act like it. You deserved better.
Yessss this is my mom. Once I refused to give her the pictures anymore (it was only to brag to friends) she lost complete interest in them and hasn't visited since. Thank you for the validation!
Sounds like she cares more about the "image" of being the dotting grandmother without doing any of the physical or emotional labor. My mom and sister are the same. Want to do a super fun, 10 days every 4 months but zero involvement in between. Sister lives 20 minutes away but will only to alone time with our kids individually on auntie/uncle dates for 2-3 hours every 4 months. Also zero communication in-between the 4 months with the kids and also with me. It's like, I'm your best friend during this 3 hour window every 4 months....aren't you SO LUCKY!!!!! After our kids kept complaining that they didn't want to go "hang out" with their aunt as a teenager I tried to explain that they weren't that into it anymore and reminded her that I said she should spend more time when they are young so they will feel more attached when they get older. She didn't listen and stuck to the 4 months program. My sister even said she wanted me to "just make them" hang out with her and she even told our 16 year old son that he could "bring a friend". I was like, so you want me to force my son AND a friend of his go hang out with his aunt??? Our son was like, "mom, this is getting so weird". I agreed totally and suggested her and her husband just come hang out with our whole family at our house (play board games, movie or something). She did it once and then promptly asked "now, when can I take them out on my own again?". I gave up and decided to just shut it all down a year ago telling them we were too busy. Now they just complain to everyone how I'm such a horrible person keeping them from their scheduled visits and they don't understand why I'm being so difficult (and not just forcing them to go). Whatever! I'm not gonna force our kids to hang out just because my childless (planned by choice) sister and her husband have these needs for "kid time" every few months. Our kids are not puppies or toys that we just hand off. Anyway, that's my rant...
Dang. That's so sad. I can't imagine only seeing my grandbabies just to get pictures. A lot of parents and grandparents only want the image of being involved in their kids' or grandkids' lives without actually seeing them and being involved.
@tacocat510 - Your sister IS being weird. Kids should Never be forced to hang out with people just because they're related in some way. That being said they should have ample opportunities to be around family with supervision and the support of parents when they feel uncomfortable in any way, like saying no to giving hugs to people they've just met, or creepy uncle Joe.
This is why I don't give my mom pictures. anymore, but she'll say that I never gave her any. Not true, for years I gave he pics and she'd complain about the outfits they were wearing or how I'd done my daughter's hair. She hasn't seen them in years, she cancelled almost every plan to visit. She'll ask for pictures and I don't see the point.
That's when the response is "If she were hands on, I would praise her. But she is just someone who likes the image of being a good grandma. I can't remember the last time she *actually* spent time with the baby or helped. At all. Good on you for staying friends with someone so terrible. You are a saint." Just stir that shit right up
I always respond with a timeline and a happy smile like, she loved seeing them on, mother's day I think it last was? Oh and Christmas Eve the time before that at that big party too! It's too bad she cancels all the time to see her little bundles of joy, she is a busy woman after all, but I send her pictures when I can! And at the least when she cancels! But I'm glad to hear that she shares the joy of the little time she spends with her grandbabies with all her friends!!!!
Not borderline. Just creepy. I'm grandparent of five sweethearts & work really hard at not crossing boundaries. Posting their pictures publicly isn't even on the table.
ugh this!!! my sister just had a baby (the first grandkid) and my mother threw an absolute fit that she was the last to meet the baby (even though that meant she got to stay the longest) and she wasn’t allowed to post pictures before my sister. i see her post pictures of my niece all the time but she doesn’t really interact with her and has broken ground rules my sister has set. you are so great at portraying these people!!!
My MIL is exactly like this and she is giving us a hard time ever since our son was born 6 years ago. My husband is handling her bravely and she lives some hours away, but still..... Meanwhile though, kharma comes back because my son has no connection with her and no interest and he kind of 'tolerates' her around him but that's all and she starts to realize that she is not the star for her only grandchild 🤷and it's all on her
My mom is like that. This woman I’ve never met before walked up to me one day and said “your mom is such a good person, why do you give her a hard time?”. I was 16. I cussed her out and told my mom to never offer to take me anywhere with her and this is why I prefer to stay home in my room. To this day I don’t tolerate fake people. I don’t curse them out but I absolutely minimize if not straight out avoid contact when I spot them
My mom helped a ton with my 1st. My husband left me 6 months pregnant, and I had little choice but to move back in with her. She's the biggest reason my 4 year old is spoiled and now dealing with behavioral problems. I now have a newborn, and due to other life situations beyond my control living at my dad's house. She'll watch the baby and doesn't always change his diaper or remember when he has a bottle. Not all help is....helpful.
Can relate to this so so much. I’m lucky my parents really are supportive and involved. Believe me the kids notice too. Mine are adults now and they are polite and respectful to the one grandparent, but the relationship with my mom and dad is joyful and goofy and fun. Kids figure it out you don’t have to do anything.❤❤❤
Solidarity from the disabled community, me and most other disabled adults I know, family are involved with us less than they are with abled family members, it’s very rare for family to be carers etc, is usually partners/friends that help us, but get this kind of attitude all the time. I was in town years ago with my mum I rarely see, I’d just got a mobility scooter, before that I was in a push wheelchair my partner/mates helped with, we saw a family friend and they were all “oh your mum will be sooooo much less tired now not pushing you everywhere” my mum went red af, I don’t think she’s ever touched my wheelchair😂
My mother is also like this. Never helps out with my children. The inlaws steps up though. Yet she got lots of help raising me and my sister when we grew up in the 80’s. Breaks my heart 💔
Oh my god this felt so real 😂. This is 100% my own mother. She tells her friends she took care of my first daughter for months as a baby because I couldn’t handle it. She literally refused to help AT ALL. I did move in with my father and step mother for like a month because my husband was in Afghanistan and my daughter was colic and yes I did need some help. But I definitely didn’t get it from her. And that’s just one example in a thousand.
You.....are a REALLY good actor 😂 that grandma friend character gave my whole body CHILLS. Your voice dropped into almost Uncanny Valley/old infomercial range!
Huge eyeroll to the ‘involved grandparents’ my parents watched my children overnight once when I was in the hospital (having cancer removed). By the time I was released the next day, it sounded like I’d completely abandoned my children and left them to raise another generation. Good grief! (It’s been 10 years & I’m cancer free) 🎉 My extended family is still out here believing I’m barely involved in the lives of my children. I’ve never missed a soccer game, a school play or parent teacher conference but I sure did notice who wasn’t present at any of those events! 😂
When green shirt lady said, "There's nothing like seeing your grandchildren in person!" I would have responded with, "Yeah, you should really tell her that!"
Yup. Sounds about right. Everyone posted alllll the pictures, but no one helped. Not one person for the first 2 1/2 years did anything to help me. I helped all of my friends and family with their kids and I was just left to do it. Even my husband was 0 help outside of working. (At the time he had amazing hours. So I don't want to hear "but he worked." I wish I could have clocked out after 6-8 hours 5 days a week.) I lucked out and have a WONDERFUL child. He is brilliant and amazing. But for 2 1/2 years I had no sleep and felt more alone than I ever did in my life. People say it takes a village. My village is vacant apparently. 😒
My grandma was a bit of a mix when i was young, yes she took many pictures of me and my brother but was also very hands-on and involved with mine and my brother's childhood. My parents were often away for work (my dad was gone for a week for work and my mum worked from 8-5) and in the early days i had some complications because my hip bones wouldnt connect. But my grandma was always there and took care of me, took me to the appointments my parents couldnt get me to and was honestly just a sweet lady. She still is the sweetest woman i know, even if im older now she still cares for me like im a baby sometimes 😂
That's my mom. But no posting, we told her (and everyone else) not to post online. She speaks how she miasta my children, how see misses me but when I tell her "you literally live 30 minutes by car, let's just set a date and come visit us" - she always finds reason why not to do that.
This is EXACTLY my situation. “My” baby shower was so awkward. 11 years later all those same people I didn’t know and haven’t heard from are expected to have an invitation to the wedding now that my partner and I have decided to throw a party about OUR love. It was kind of my MIL to throw a baby shower for me all those years ago, but except for the gifts for baby, it wasn’t for me. Her performative nature is really hurtful because every gesture seems to come with a very long string.
This is true and makes me want to cry. I had ny beutiful baby and EVERYONE from my husbands side of the family thinks i get a crap tone of support when its just me. When id visit they'd snatch her from me and or from her car seat... then go into another room with her without me... literally not even a month old and they started that crap. Told me i " needed to let other people love my baby." The only time they want her is if shes not crying; and when they can show my doughter off to their friends and neighbors as if shes " their" baby, like they carried her for 9 months, while working and going to school full time; like they breast fed her, and stayed up all night to watch her, like they pushed her out all naturally by themselves. Then when she starts to cry they hand her right back to me, and accus her of just being a " mamas girl." The last time i allowed her grandparents to watch her she cried, they complained about it ( even though i warned them it would happen and that she might have gas.)... then my mother in law tells me she " just put her in a chair till she stopped crying." This woman allowed my baby to self sooth... i almost lost my god damn mind. My baby dose NOT self sooth, and i told my mother in law that. Now when ever she teyed to hold my baby, my baby just starts to cry. Also hurts that i cant breast feed her at their house. Or they want me in a different room to feed her ( then get mad at how long it takes me or if she takes a nap for a few hours.) Or they ask me to pump so they can feed her. Anything i do pn top of that, is wrong to them. Eveything! It could be 90 degrease outside and go. " oh mommy forgot to put socks on you" or if she crys " oh your just so emotional, cry baby, you get it from your mama huh?" Seriously grandparents need to do better. Also i matter to. Yes shes your grand baby, but shes MY baby at the end of the day. I carried her for 9 months and delivered her naturally and im doing eveything in my power to be a good mom. I deserve kindness, and respect to. Inlaws/ grandparents... do better.
That's incredibly rude of them. I would just be too busy to visit if I got treated like that. I am breastfeeding my babies, and anyone who doesn't like it should just skip a few meals. "self soothing" is cruel in my opinion. Teaching a baby that crying when they need or want something doesn't work. Teaching them to give up, no one is coming to help you, is just mean. And really it's just lazy and careless. I have 9 kids, never let them "self sooth". I never sleep trained or breastfed on a rigid schedule. I breastfed A LOT. Sometimes a baby isn't even hungry or thirsty, they just need comfort. It is so strange that they would just grab your baby and take her into a room without you. That's your baby. Mom is in charge of what happens with her baby, always. My family had to wait because I don't take my babies around anyone until they are 2 months old and have been vaccinated. Any illness before 2 months can land a baby in the hospital. No one touches my babies without washing their hands. My friends are all fine with that and do the same with their kids. My family, eh, they think I'm weird. Funny how they put their kids first, but when someone else does the same, "oh you're too picky." Thankfully my husband and I agree on things so it isn't an issue getting his support. He believes moms are extremely important. But he was also raised that way.
Um, there was one warning and a demand to take the photos down or be reported to Facebook police for photos of minors that aren't there's with all photo privileges being immediately and indefinitely revoked. It worked, begrudgingly but I will not have that.
People shouldn't post pictures of kids that aren't theirs without parents' permission. And honestly it is a bad idea to post pictures of kids to social media that isn't private.
Yall are insane to think you have control over what pictures other people post. If the pictures have no indecent or private information, you legally and morally have no rights to demand anything.
lol this reminds me of every person who said I was so lucky to have my family so involved with my (autistic) son. Yeah, it’s great to have helpful supportive people around; unfortunately my family is not that. GREAT for (not so constructive) criticism though.
Even tho i dont have kids,i feel like i can relate so much… knowing that if i do have kids,i might experience these things. Thank you Shawna for your content,i look forward to watch it whenever you post
Here's one for you: my mother lived only a few miles away and always said I should come over "if I'm bored". How and when a mother of four would ever get bored, is a mystery. She wanted to see me and the kids, I guess, but she always framed her offer of h a visit with her grandkids as a big favor she did for me. She'd take them to "give me a break" which pissed me off. My kids are great and I don't need "rescue" from parenting them.
@@PawLet_144 y’all will be 2gether again. I miss my family so much. Have been watching all the NDE’s I can find for decades. Highly recommend, very comforting…and very similar
My mil makes it sound like she was so involved in my now grown kids' lives (despite having lived very close for most all but the last 25 years). She did very little with/for us and our kids. One time she even made a point to say she wouldn't miss something and she didn't show up. My parents were at nearly every event our kids were in. The kids knew who was really involved.
My kids (5 and 1.5) just met my mother in law for the first time last month. Years before they were born, she’d gone through a midlife crisis and ran off with a man half her age who had 3 small kids, so she could relive her youth. And she wrote her 4 kids out of her life. She just met them, and she is now posting on FB about how much she loves and misses her grandbabies… who she spent 48 hours with… and all her friends are like, “Aren’t they they best! You’re such a good grandma!” I want to reply and say, “That’s like saying leftover McDonalds is fine dining,” but I restrain my thumbs.
I call them social family members. My father is that way. Loves posting how much he loves us, posts pics of us and our kids. Kids he hasn't seen in over 20 years. Hasn't spoken to me in 17 years. Has never spoken to or met his grands. The eldest of which is turning 21 in a month.
That’s how my grandma is on my dad’s side. She’s is NEVER around us, only gives her (blood related) grandkids $20 on our birthdays. My mom posts pictures on Facebook but they’re private. They used to be for all family but she had to stop because my grandma kept reposting our pictures on her PUBLIC page. My mom even told her to stop multiple times, but she wouldn’t listen.
And THIS is why, when my son’s grandmother randomly text 1-2x a year to ask for pictures, I happily oblige. 😏 I send pic of me and my son, pic of us hugging so the grandmother (or her son) can’t try to crop me out of pic they want to post online. Nope. You want pics, here you go. They show how close he and I, how much fun we have together, just the 2 of us, and how much he’s grown and looks like my pint sized mini-me. Now, if you want pics for your socials, you’ll need to schedule a meet up and will be more than willing to accommodate , but your not gonna highjack my pics with my amazing son and try to pretend like you have anything to do with him so you can get a could likes and gossip. He’s an AMAZING kiddo that deserves respect, not just some prop for social media likes and fake praise by people who have never met him.
Yes, my mom tells my grandma she is coming to help us set up for parties, and tells her about imaginary things she does with my son. It is wild. I just nod. Idk how to break it to my grandma that my mom lies about being involved. Very awkward and disappointing.
You know, one thing I like about my parents is that they made their intentions KNOWN. That they would not help me at ALL if I had a baby. No BS, just "We have your mentally handicapped sister to care for. We will not give you money or play babysitter to any of your kids. If you ever needed a roof over your head, we would do that. But we would never directly babysit our grandchildren and any money given to you would be considered a loan." Like, it's selfish, cold & mean. But, hey. At least it's honest and somewhat reasonable because my autistic sister is a full-time job. And at least they're not showboating anything or being fake for attention. PS: And you guessed it, my parents are Boomers! Also, my dad is the truest AH as my mom would definitely give me some money to help out - but probably not enough to cover any of the ludicrous costs of having a baby these days.
I used to hear stuff like this about my dad. How grateful I should be he does so much for my sisters and me. All while he was abusive verbally and physically and we were so scared of him.
Posting pictures without permission is a curse ive experienced. My sister in law posted my daughter when she was at her lowest in the NICU. She was premature because I went into organ failure. Now my daughters picture she posted after explicitly being told not to is used in anti abortion ads. She was wanted, we adore her, she was planned, and now her pictures are used in propaganda. I hate it, and it's so out of control at this point that there's no stopping it. Shes 10 now, theres no way anyone could tell its actually her, but I know and it really irks me and I don't even know how we're going to explain it to her.
This and so so so much more. Then playing victim when I’ve finally had enough and calling my 9 year old a demon because she finally sees how she really is and she can’t be fake around her anymore is just wiiiiiiiild and i had no idea that this happened so often until your channel. I really thought i was alone thank you so much for your content 🥲
Lmao I would never just agree to that. I'd speak the truth and just let sh1t burn. Like "Oh, yeah, except she doesn't come around and she just ASKS to have the pictures sent... Maybe if she loves them THAT much she should have actually come around more." But that assumes she wants the word to get back to granny that she WANTS her around more... and I can sympathize with not wanting a MIL around :'D
My MIL has made zero effort to see my kiddo but makes passive aggressive comments about how my daughter doesn't like her and is afraid of her, the rare times that she sees her... Meanwhile my mom and sisters come over every week or make flexible plans to get us out of the house with them. My mom has respected my desire to vet photos that she shares with her friends, but my MIL posted an embarrassing photo from my birth within an hour of receiving it and refused to admit that it violated our previously stated preferences. Now we don't send the photos. But she also doesn't ask for them...
Yep too accurate for me. My own parents are basically second care takers to my child and my in-laws barely even try to be involved. But they put on a good show for everyone else!
My mom honestly didn’t think about repercussions of posting photos and such, but she’s awesome. I explained to her my concerns and walked her through how to go private, vetted the people on her friends, etc. She was so great about it
My mom is currently doing this with me and my sister. She posts pictures of us on her facebook when we haven’t lived with her in over to years because she’s an abusive alcoholic it makes so angry and I don’t know how to deal with it but it’s nice to know others go through something similar.
Me sitting here with my little Ben on my lap... his Nanas are allowed to post pictures on their private status etc, they asked permission and they ARE involved. They help us so much too ❤😊
My grandmother was the same, when my mum started saying that she wasn’t involved my gran started saying that my mother refused to let her see me and my siblings… my mum doesn’t talk to her anymore and neither do I
I’ve been very fortunate to have so much support from my family. And my kids other grandparents too. We are a blended family and luckily both my ex partner/co parent and current partner also have supportive families who not only want to be a part of things but respect boundaries too!
My grandmother absolutely HAD to come se us at least twice a week. She did. She was always visiting and we were so close with her. She passed when I was 15, I still miss her so much, even though it's been 20 years. My mother was the one who told me grandma almost went through withdrawal if she didn't see us... My mother close by and looooves being grandma, but has seen my son maybe five times a year... I hate that my son doesn't get that loving, doting grandma experience. Mine is absent and my husband's mom passed right after my son was born...
Watching this as someone with an INCREDIBLY healthy relationship with my mother literally stuns me. Every thing said I was just like: "....okay and?", genuinely confused what the issue was until I realized. 😂 reminds me how privilaged and lucky I am to have no worries with my mom and atleast an understanding of everything she does is genuinely out of love.
The day each of her three children had their first child. My mother-in-law who I thought would be an overbearing 1st generation American-Sicilian mother-in-law instead gives them a letter that says “I’m not comfortable with small children. I don’t like babies don’t ask me to babysit. I’m not your grandma Rose.” And she meant it. She still wanted photos for her friends.
This is why I don’t send pictures to people I don’t trust. There are certain people I don’t want to see my child and also don’t want him being seen by strangers. I wish people could respect others and their children more
Lol yeah …i lived IN MY MIL’s BASEMENT and she never came to help me with two babies in 2 years… not once. FB posts don’t = actual care or relationships.
My own mother is bad about posting my son's photos even though she knows I try to be private when it comes to that... and then acts like she took them. 🙃 Don't mind her having photos, just wish she'd understand she doesn't override me as a parent just because she's my mother. 🤦🏼♀️
Shawna, you videos remind me a lot of my mom. I wish i could show your videos to her, a lot of these skits are like literal dramatization of things she and my dad have been through (the good and the bad)
This is my MIL to a T! She wants to show off her beautiful grandchildren but never sees them even though we relocated (no she didn’t help with that either and no we weren’t expecting her to) 4 miles away so she could be the “hands on grandma” she falsely promised to be. I would have been unable to hold my tongue and said “she doesn’t see them, but she does like to post pictures.”
My own mother was very distant when I was pregnant. Even by the time I was 6 months along my father got mad at her because she wasn't doing all the grandma stuff with me. But once my son was born she completely changed. Took off work because I had a bad c-section, ended up being the best grandma my son could ask for. She's sick now but for 27 years she was the best. Sometimes it takes time to figure out the "grandparent" role.
ooh i need to write my story here :D so we moved from the city to a smaller village/town to be near to my mother in law about 9 years ago. actually we live like 400m from her now. my husbands one sister lives literally right next to us also. i think i can on ONE hand count how many times my mother in law has babysat our children, whom one is 10. so in ten years. and she is not very good at hiding her feelings from her face about those times. does not cook anymore and does not care to play :D on the other hand! my own mother actually surprised us with also moving here about 8 years ago. she loves spending time with my children, takes them places, loves to give them different experiences, we are a great team when traveling with the kids too. and she has a full time job, also building herself a house in the country. she does all that and still has time for my kids and me. so we have exactly two complete opposite grannys. words do not reach how grateful we are for a hands on grandma, but we are also grateful for our other grandma. people are very very different. and if we didnt have a passive grandma then maybe we wouldnt be as appreciative for my mom as we are now.
Ever since I had my baby the only people that actually text me for conversations are my husband and my immediate family. Any of my extended family (minus my maternal grandmother) text me to tell me they want pictures of her. Like this week was my paternal grandmother’s birthday and I just texted her because my baby was screaming and all she sent back was “send me pictures”
The posting of photos without permission is too real 😮💨
As a grandma myself I refuse to post any pictures of anything anywhere unless their parents ask me to do so... even then I'm not crazy about doing that. I just stick with traditional methods of driving friends crazy with all of the pictures on my phone so they can enjoy my grandkids too 😂😅😊... especially enjoy sharing the pictures of my feline granddaughter 😄... she's so cute 🥰
@@TheLadyBeltongood job, I'm an uncle and pictures of the kiddos go straight to the parents to decide which, if any, may be posted online (and specifically only post outside photos AFTER leaving the area)
@@TheLadyBelton
With the way laws are going it probably a good idea to just not post pictures of someone under 16 and definitely under 13.
Yes! And sending my them I REFUSE to send any or let anyone take pictures of my nakey babies. Or even in diapers they must be fully clothed. Because I just know one will end up on Facebook.
especially when their profiles are public 😭 the whole world should NOT have unlimited access to pictures of children the way it does. there are some awful, awful people on the internet. you always need to be aware.
I _love_ the voice she did for the lady in green. A very clean, sing-songy voice, like how a motherly, authoritative robot might talk.
(Also gives White Diamond from Steven Universe vibes)
Well, I get extremly strong "Kai Winn" (from Star trek Ds9) vibes. Makes my skin crawl.
+
@@dermeistefan oh yes, that's it exactly!
Stepford Wife vibe.
I live 3 houses down from my mom. I can’t tell you how often I hear “must be so nice having your mom so close”. Ya wanna know how many times my mom’s helped with my kids in the past 8 months? Maybe twice. And she complained and asked when I’m gonna get my ass home the entire time. Everyone assumes you’ve got support when you live close to family…but no. That’s not everyone’s reality.
I am just in the same case. When it was only me, she was so close so I HAVE to visit her.
Now that I have a baby, she cannot come often 😒😒
I feel this. Except right next door. She only grabs the kids whenever she feels guilty or for the exact amount of time for her NOT to feel guilty.
Swore up and down they'd be having sleepovers and what not. I'd never see them and they'd be spoiled. I'll do dishes and they'll be back. 😅
So I guess it's something. Unlike yours.
Does it count that my actual mother doesn't GET to see them due to my childhood? Nor does my father?
And FIL is a package deal with MIL. I shouldn't ask him
Lol I live in the same complex as mines lol and same here
I can't imagine that! My mom lived like maybe 1.5 miles from her mom as we were growing up. We were constantly at Grams house visiting her and Aunty! I loved spending so much time with family growing up. I wish people had such support.
My Grams and Aunty even took us in when Mom had a mental break.
I live in the same house as my mother. The ATTITUDE I get when I ask her to watch them for even an hour or two so I can go to a doctors appointment or the dmv is wild. I know she didn’t really want to raise me but she acted soooo excited about my boys.
Shes involved in picture collection
Brings back memories of collecting flippos 😂
Dude when I was pregnant my parents were all "We are going to be the favorite grandparents! We are going to help you out so much!" And now they have seen him less than 10 times in the 13 months he's been growing. My baby doesn't recognize them & yet that doesn't stop them from taking awkward pictures with him like they even know him. Ya know who's his favorite grandparent? My mother in law who comes over 2-3 times a week to help out. She doesn't have a lot of money & is sore & tired but she can't help but jump with him when he reaches for her hands. She also respects my boundaries, decisions, & has seen me at my realest moments.
They don't live far away & make efforts to travel everywhere else all the time. I don't need them to rise to my expectations, but I wish we could cut through the fake bs. Like stop, you guys don't even know him or me. I'm not even your daughter, I'm like a whole other person.
What a glorious blessing a true mother in law is. You have such a marvelous situation with her genuine love. That is rare and so precious.
Yeah I told my mom that my kids are more comfortable with their therapist than with her because she has only seen them a handful of times since they were born. they’re 28 months old and they see the therapist every week
🥰 aww that’s actually so sweet
Omg aren’t you lucky! I’m so glad to hear some mother in laws are actual human beings instead of monsters like mine. I’m not jealous of anyone who has real relationships with real people. I only wish I had someone in the in law side that cares to know these wonderful individuals I gave birth to. They’re teenagers now and don’t even know their family’s names or faces. It’s real sad
People are like this with my mom. When I'm sick, when I'm graduating, its all "it must be so nice to have your mom to help you with all this". Do you know how many times she supported me, even just emotionally, while I was earning my degree? Like twice in 5 years. Never empathised with me once. Would ask me to do extra chores because "shes too tired" even though I woke up at 4 to make my way to classes then go to work until 7, working on assignments in every spare moment I have. Do you know what she was like when I was so sick I felt like I was dying and was struggling to walk and couldn't even lie down without being in excruciating pain? Cold, didn't talk to me or ask how I'm doing and didn't even look at me, made me feel like a burden for "making her take me to the emergency room", and literally left me doubling over from pain in the corridor on the way to the doctors office and just kept walking. So great to have my mom "support" me when I feel like I'm going to die from pain.
I'm really sorry this has been your experience. Please don't let anyone gaslight you into supporting your mom when she needs it in the future if you don't want to. Family is only family if they act like it. You deserved better.
I'm sorry, Shellie. I'll pray for you. You deserve better than that.
"She hasn't seen them in 8 months, but thanks for the small talk, Sheila! Toodles!!
Iconic!
That will just get back to her and she will come over repeatedly just to prove you wrong.
@@shawnycoffman let her try
We need that collab!
These videos are just too real! Lol People never catch on to these things either 🙃😅
You gotta be a whole other level of dense not to pick up what that mom is putting down
They don't? I seriously doubt that, but...
free speech & all. So...carry on.
Yessss this is my mom. Once I refused to give her the pictures anymore (it was only to brag to friends) she lost complete interest in them and hasn't visited since. Thank you for the validation!
Sounds like she cares more about the "image" of being the dotting grandmother without doing any of the physical or emotional labor. My mom and sister are the same. Want to do a super fun, 10 days every 4 months but zero involvement in between. Sister lives 20 minutes away but will only to alone time with our kids individually on auntie/uncle dates for 2-3 hours every 4 months. Also zero communication in-between the 4 months with the kids and also with me. It's like, I'm your best friend during this 3 hour window every 4 months....aren't you SO LUCKY!!!!! After our kids kept complaining that they didn't want to go "hang out" with their aunt as a teenager I tried to explain that they weren't that into it anymore and reminded her that I said she should spend more time when they are young so they will feel more attached when they get older. She didn't listen and stuck to the 4 months program. My sister even said she wanted me to "just make them" hang out with her and she even told our 16 year old son that he could "bring a friend". I was like, so you want me to force my son AND a friend of his go hang out with his aunt??? Our son was like, "mom, this is getting so weird". I agreed totally and suggested her and her husband just come hang out with our whole family at our house (play board games, movie or something). She did it once and then promptly asked "now, when can I take them out on my own again?". I gave up and decided to just shut it all down a year ago telling them we were too busy. Now they just complain to everyone how I'm such a horrible person keeping them from their scheduled visits and they don't understand why I'm being so difficult (and not just forcing them to go). Whatever! I'm not gonna force our kids to hang out just because my childless (planned by choice) sister and her husband have these needs for "kid time" every few months. Our kids are not puppies or toys that we just hand off. Anyway, that's my rant...
Dang. That's so sad. I can't imagine only seeing my grandbabies just to get pictures. A lot of parents and grandparents only want the image of being involved in their kids' or grandkids' lives without actually seeing them and being involved.
@tacocat510 - Your sister IS being weird. Kids should Never be forced to hang out with people just because they're related in some way. That being said they should have ample opportunities to be around family with supervision and the support of parents when they feel uncomfortable in any way, like saying no to giving hugs to people they've just met, or creepy uncle Joe.
This is why I don't give my mom pictures. anymore, but she'll say that I never gave her any. Not true, for years I gave he pics and she'd complain about the outfits they were wearing or how I'd done my daughter's hair. She hasn't seen them in years, she cancelled almost every plan to visit. She'll ask for pictures and I don't see the point.
@@tacocat510Childless by choice ppl are childish.
I love that this lady more or less expects to be recognized, even though she clearly doesn't remember the Mom's name 🤣 it's TOO spot on!
Called a flying monkey
That's when the response is "If she were hands on, I would praise her. But she is just someone who likes the image of being a good grandma. I can't remember the last time she *actually* spent time with the baby or helped. At all. Good on you for staying friends with someone so terrible. You are a saint."
Just stir that shit right up
100%
Is it worth it really? In my experience no.
I always respond with a timeline and a happy smile like, she loved seeing them on, mother's day I think it last was? Oh and Christmas Eve the time before that at that big party too! It's too bad she cancels all the time to see her little bundles of joy, she is a busy woman after all, but I send her pictures when I can! And at the least when she cancels! But I'm glad to hear that she shares the joy of the little time she spends with her grandbabies with all her friends!!!!
I'm a teenager and love seeing your skits even though I can't relate to them at all 😭
Love what you do Shawna 🥹🫶
One day, maybe you will. Lots of memories to collect!
Same ❤
I hope you never have to relate with the bad stuff, and that you have a little bundle of joy if you want, and when you're ready.
100% can relate. Loves pics and finding out tidbits to gossip about so she looks like a hands-on grandma.
It's borderline creepy when people do that 😂😭
Not borderline. Just creepy. I'm grandparent of five sweethearts & work really hard at not crossing boundaries. Posting their pictures publicly isn't even on the table.
And when they manage to collect them even when you have a restraining order makes it even more special.
You have one of those families too? Love the. Christmas card that says "we know where you live." Thanks internet.
Gosh, that sucks so bad. I’m sorry
ugh this!!! my sister just had a baby (the first grandkid) and my mother threw an absolute fit that she was the last to meet the baby (even though that meant she got to stay the longest) and she wasn’t allowed to post pictures before my sister. i see her post pictures of my niece all the time but she doesn’t really interact with her and has broken ground rules my sister has set. you are so great at portraying these people!!!
My MIL is exactly like this and she is giving us a hard time ever since our son was born 6 years ago. My husband is handling her bravely and she lives some hours away, but still..... Meanwhile though, kharma comes back because my son has no connection with her and no interest and he kind of 'tolerates' her around him but that's all and she starts to realize that she is not the star for her only grandchild 🤷and it's all on her
So happy to see a supportive sister who holds the mom accountable.
Notice how she couldn’t remember the mom’s name, but knew the son’s name by heart
The way “Sheila” introduced herself convinces me that you should become a voice actor, stat. The voice was SO perfect it gave me chills.
My mom is like that. This woman I’ve never met before walked up to me one day and said “your mom is such a good person, why do you give her a hard time?”. I was 16. I cussed her out and told my mom to never offer to take me anywhere with her and this is why I prefer to stay home in my room.
To this day I don’t tolerate fake people. I don’t curse them out but I absolutely minimize if not straight out avoid contact when I spot them
My mom helped a ton with my 1st. My husband left me 6 months pregnant, and I had little choice but to move back in with her. She's the biggest reason my 4 year old is spoiled and now dealing with behavioral problems. I now have a newborn, and due to other life situations beyond my control living at my dad's house. She'll watch the baby and doesn't always change his diaper or remember when he has a bottle. Not all help is....helpful.
Ugh my mom does the same. Great image, bad in practice
Can relate to this so so much. I’m lucky my parents really are supportive and involved. Believe me the kids notice too. Mine are adults now and they are polite and respectful to the one grandparent, but the relationship with my mom and dad is joyful and goofy and fun. Kids figure it out you don’t have to do anything.❤❤❤
My mil LIVED with me and my parents who lived 45 minutes away were more involved. My son absolutely adores my dad. So glad my mil has moved out
Solidarity from the disabled community, me and most other disabled adults I know, family are involved with us less than they are with abled family members, it’s very rare for family to be carers etc, is usually partners/friends that help us, but get this kind of attitude all the time. I was in town years ago with my mum I rarely see, I’d just got a mobility scooter, before that I was in a push wheelchair my partner/mates helped with, we saw a family friend and they were all “oh your mum will be sooooo much less tired now not pushing you everywhere” my mum went red af, I don’t think she’s ever touched my wheelchair😂
My mother is also like this. Never helps out with my children. The inlaws steps up though. Yet she got lots of help raising me and my sister when we grew up in the 80’s. Breaks my heart 💔
Oh my god this felt so real 😂. This is 100% my own mother. She tells her friends she took care of my first daughter for months as a baby because I couldn’t handle it. She literally refused to help AT ALL. I did move in with my father and step mother for like a month because my husband was in Afghanistan and my daughter was colic and yes I did need some help. But I definitely didn’t get it from her. And that’s just one example in a thousand.
You.....are a REALLY good actor 😂 that grandma friend character gave my whole body CHILLS. Your voice dropped into almost Uncanny Valley/old infomercial range!
Huge eyeroll to the ‘involved grandparents’ my parents watched my children overnight once when I was in the hospital (having cancer removed). By the time I was released the next day, it sounded like I’d completely abandoned my children and left them to raise another generation. Good grief! (It’s been 10 years & I’m cancer free) 🎉
My extended family is still out here believing I’m barely involved in the lives of my children. I’ve never missed a soccer game, a school play or parent teacher conference but I sure did notice who wasn’t present at any of those events! 😂
The “Yeah” is the greatest acting I’ve seen in a while! That was so smooth. 😊😀
When green shirt lady said, "There's nothing like seeing your grandchildren in person!" I would have responded with, "Yeah, you should really tell her that!"
I loveeee when they say “lucky you” it’s the cherry on top of the shit falling out of their mouth lol
The “we do not all have that” was subtly perfect.
Yup. Sounds about right. Everyone posted alllll the pictures, but no one helped. Not one person for the first 2 1/2 years did anything to help me. I helped all of my friends and family with their kids and I was just left to do it. Even my husband was 0 help outside of working. (At the time he had amazing hours. So I don't want to hear "but he worked." I wish I could have clocked out after 6-8 hours 5 days a week.) I lucked out and have a WONDERFUL child. He is brilliant and amazing. But for 2 1/2 years I had no sleep and felt more alone than I ever did in my life. People say it takes a village. My village is vacant apparently. 😒
I gave birth 3x and never even got a baby shower
@@funnyanimalshorts643 are you serious?! That’s so not fair I am sorry 😞
Tell the truth. Honesty is liberating
My grandma was a bit of a mix when i was young, yes she took many pictures of me and my brother but was also very hands-on and involved with mine and my brother's childhood. My parents were often away for work (my dad was gone for a week for work and my mum worked from 8-5) and in the early days i had some complications because my hip bones wouldnt connect. But my grandma was always there and took care of me, took me to the appointments my parents couldnt get me to and was honestly just a sweet lady. She still is the sweetest woman i know, even if im older now she still cares for me like im a baby sometimes 😂
That's my mom. But no posting, we told her (and everyone else) not to post online. She speaks how she miasta my children, how see misses me but when I tell her "you literally live 30 minutes by car, let's just set a date and come visit us" - she always finds reason why not to do that.
This is EXACTLY my situation. “My” baby shower was so awkward. 11 years later all those same people I didn’t know and haven’t heard from are expected to have an invitation to the wedding now that my partner and I have decided to throw a party about OUR love. It was kind of my MIL to throw a baby shower for me all those years ago, but except for the gifts for baby, it wasn’t for me. Her performative nature is really hurtful because every gesture seems to come with a very long string.
Call her out. Truth is fine to be told.
The grandparents love the babies because they dont have to raise them themselves, its their kids, who they already "did" the parenting for.
Oh I would not be able to hold my tongue! She has the restraint of an Angel!
That green top looks so good with your eyes!
This is true and makes me want to cry. I had ny beutiful baby and EVERYONE from my husbands side of the family thinks i get a crap tone of support when its just me. When id visit they'd snatch her from me and or from her car seat... then go into another room with her without me... literally not even a month old and they started that crap.
Told me i " needed to let other people love my baby."
The only time they want her is if shes not crying; and when they can show my doughter off to their friends and neighbors as if shes " their" baby, like they carried her for 9 months, while working and going to school full time; like they breast fed her, and stayed up all night to watch her, like they pushed her out all naturally by themselves.
Then when she starts to cry they hand her right back to me, and accus her of just being a " mamas girl."
The last time i allowed her grandparents to watch her she cried, they complained about it ( even though i warned them it would happen and that she might have gas.)... then my mother in law tells me she " just put her in a chair till she stopped crying." This woman allowed my baby to self sooth... i almost lost my god damn mind.
My baby dose NOT self sooth, and i told my mother in law that. Now when ever she teyed to hold my baby, my baby just starts to cry.
Also hurts that i cant breast feed her at their house. Or they want me in a different room to feed her ( then get mad at how long it takes me or if she takes a nap for a few hours.) Or they ask me to pump so they can feed her.
Anything i do pn top of that, is wrong to them. Eveything! It could be 90 degrease outside and go. " oh mommy forgot to put socks on you" or if she crys " oh your just so emotional, cry baby, you get it from your mama huh?"
Seriously grandparents need to do better. Also i matter to. Yes shes your grand baby, but shes MY baby at the end of the day. I carried her for 9 months and delivered her naturally and im doing eveything in my power to be a good mom. I deserve kindness, and respect to.
Inlaws/ grandparents... do better.
That's incredibly rude of them. I would just be too busy to visit if I got treated like that. I am breastfeeding my babies, and anyone who doesn't like it should just skip a few meals. "self soothing" is cruel in my opinion. Teaching a baby that crying when they need or want something doesn't work. Teaching them to give up, no one is coming to help you, is just mean. And really it's just lazy and careless. I have 9 kids, never let them "self sooth". I never sleep trained or breastfed on a rigid schedule. I breastfed A LOT. Sometimes a baby isn't even hungry or thirsty, they just need comfort.
It is so strange that they would just grab your baby and take her into a room without you. That's your baby. Mom is in charge of what happens with her baby, always. My family had to wait because I don't take my babies around anyone until they are 2 months old and have been vaccinated. Any illness before 2 months can land a baby in the hospital. No one touches my babies without washing their hands. My friends are all fine with that and do the same with their kids. My family, eh, they think I'm weird. Funny how they put their kids first, but when someone else does the same, "oh you're too picky."
Thankfully my husband and I agree on things so it isn't an issue getting his support. He believes moms are extremely important. But he was also raised that way.
Am I the only one who would simply PERMANENTLY remove ANYONE from my child who posted or even took pictures of them? 😅
Um, there was one warning and a demand to take the photos down or be reported to Facebook police for photos of minors that aren't there's with all photo privileges being immediately and indefinitely revoked. It worked, begrudgingly but I will not have that.
I'm blessed. It wasn't a thing for me.
Nope you're not. I do exactly that
People shouldn't post pictures of kids that aren't theirs without parents' permission. And honestly it is a bad idea to post pictures of kids to social media that isn't private.
Yall are insane to think you have control over what pictures other people post. If the pictures have no indecent or private information, you legally and morally have no rights to demand anything.
lol this reminds me of every person who said I was so lucky to have my family so involved with my (autistic) son. Yeah, it’s great to have helpful supportive people around; unfortunately my family is not that. GREAT for (not so constructive) criticism though.
"Well wouldn't you know! I wouldn't know what having such an involved grandparent feels like."
My response to the flying monkey 😂
Even tho i dont have kids,i feel like i can relate so much… knowing that if i do have kids,i might experience these things. Thank you Shawna for your content,i look forward to watch it whenever you post
Oh, my word. This was handled splendidly! Great disarming responses.
Here's one for you: my mother lived only a few miles away and always said I should come over "if I'm bored". How and when a mother of four would ever get bored, is a mystery.
She wanted to see me and the kids, I guess, but she always framed her offer of h a visit with her grandkids as a big favor she did for me. She'd take them to "give me a break" which pissed me off. My kids are great and I don't need "rescue" from parenting them.
My exact situation right here. My mother.
I'd give anything to have my mom meet my son. Just once.
It sounds like your Mom is in Heaven? I’m sorry for your sadness
@@mustangnawt1 thank you. my mom passed in 1988. My son was born in 2012.
@@PawLet_144 y’all will be 2gether again. I miss my family so much. Have been watching all the NDE’s I can find for decades. Highly recommend, very comforting…and very similar
The end there made me laugh out of discomfort😭
My mil makes it sound like she was so involved in my now grown kids' lives (despite having lived very close for most all but the last 25 years). She did very little with/for us and our kids. One time she even made a point to say she wouldn't miss something and she didn't show up. My parents were at nearly every event our kids were in. The kids knew who was really involved.
My kids (5 and 1.5) just met my mother in law for the first time last month. Years before they were born, she’d gone through a midlife crisis and ran off with a man half her age who had 3 small kids, so she could relive her youth. And she wrote her 4 kids out of her life. She just met them, and she is now posting on FB about how much she loves and misses her grandbabies… who she spent 48 hours with… and all her friends are like, “Aren’t they they best! You’re such a good grandma!” I want to reply and say, “That’s like saying leftover McDonalds is fine dining,” but I restrain my thumbs.
My dad is too involved with his newer family (stepmom & her kids) to be worried about his actual daughter and grandchild 😅
This happens a lot. Step kids get treated better sometimes. Garbage ppl often have wonderful kids they ignore, give up, abandon etc
I call them social family members. My father is that way. Loves posting how much he loves us, posts pics of us and our kids. Kids he hasn't seen in over 20 years. Hasn't spoken to me in 17 years. Has never spoken to or met his grands. The eldest of which is turning 21 in a month.
Shes SO polite for not bursting green shirt's bubble here and flat out saying she doesnt help! I dont think id be able to resist it.
That’s how my grandma is on my dad’s side. She’s is NEVER around us, only gives her (blood related) grandkids $20 on our birthdays. My mom posts pictures on Facebook but they’re private. They used to be for all family but she had to stop because my grandma kept reposting our pictures on her PUBLIC page. My mom even told her to stop multiple times, but she wouldn’t listen.
And THIS is why, when my son’s grandmother randomly text 1-2x a year to ask for pictures, I happily oblige. 😏 I send pic of me and my son, pic of us hugging so the grandmother (or her son) can’t try to crop me out of pic they want to post online. Nope. You want pics, here you go. They show how close he and I, how much fun we have together, just the 2 of us, and how much he’s grown and looks like my pint sized mini-me. Now, if you want pics for your socials, you’ll need to schedule a meet up and will be more than willing to accommodate , but your not gonna highjack my pics with my amazing son and try to pretend like you have anything to do with him so you can get a could likes and gossip. He’s an AMAZING kiddo that deserves respect, not just some prop for social media likes and fake praise by people who have never met him.
Yes, my mom tells my grandma she is coming to help us set up for parties, and tells her about imaginary things she does with my son. It is wild. I just nod. Idk how to break it to my grandma that my mom lies about being involved. Very awkward and disappointing.
Your uppety older lady voice brings me joy 😂😂😂
I get to be " hands on with my grandchild" we have a 3 generation home.❤
You know, one thing I like about my parents is that they made their intentions KNOWN. That they would not help me at ALL if I had a baby.
No BS, just "We have your mentally handicapped sister to care for. We will not give you money or play babysitter to any of your kids. If you ever needed a roof over your head, we would do that. But we would never directly babysit our grandchildren and any money given to you would be considered a loan."
Like, it's selfish, cold & mean. But, hey. At least it's honest and somewhat reasonable because my autistic sister is a full-time job. And at least they're not showboating anything or being fake for attention.
PS: And you guessed it, my parents are Boomers! Also, my dad is the truest AH as my mom would definitely give me some money to help out - but probably not enough to cover any of the ludicrous costs of having a baby these days.
I used to hear stuff like this about my dad. How grateful I should be he does so much for my sisters and me. All while he was abusive verbally and physically and we were so scared of him.
Posting pictures without permission is a curse ive experienced. My sister in law posted my daughter when she was at her lowest in the NICU. She was premature because I went into organ failure.
Now my daughters picture she posted after explicitly being told not to is used in anti abortion ads. She was wanted, we adore her, she was planned, and now her pictures are used in propaganda. I hate it, and it's so out of control at this point that there's no stopping it.
Shes 10 now, theres no way anyone could tell its actually her, but I know and it really irks me and I don't even know how we're going to explain it to her.
I wouldn't mind if it were my daughter bc it could save a baby's life.
Im right there with ya sister! I see my family for christmas & thats it.
This and so so so much more. Then playing victim when I’ve finally had enough and calling my 9 year old a demon because she finally sees how she really is and she can’t be fake around her anymore is just wiiiiiiiild and i had no idea that this happened so often until your channel. I really thought i was alone thank you so much for your content 🥲
Lmao I would never just agree to that. I'd speak the truth and just let sh1t burn. Like "Oh, yeah, except she doesn't come around and she just ASKS to have the pictures sent... Maybe if she loves them THAT much she should have actually come around more."
But that assumes she wants the word to get back to granny that she WANTS her around more... and I can sympathize with not wanting a MIL around :'D
Gigglesnort yeah, my mother likes to cosplay as a Grandparent sometimes too
My MIL has made zero effort to see my kiddo but makes passive aggressive comments about how my daughter doesn't like her and is afraid of her, the rare times that she sees her... Meanwhile my mom and sisters come over every week or make flexible plans to get us out of the house with them. My mom has respected my desire to vet photos that she shares with her friends, but my MIL posted an embarrassing photo from my birth within an hour of receiving it and refused to admit that it violated our previously stated preferences. Now we don't send the photos. But she also doesn't ask for them...
Yep too accurate for me. My own parents are basically second care takers to my child and my in-laws barely even try to be involved. But they put on a good show for everyone else!
My mom honestly didn’t think about repercussions of posting photos and such, but she’s awesome. I explained to her my concerns and walked her through how to go private, vetted the people on her friends, etc. She was so great about it
My mom is currently doing this with me and my sister. She posts pictures of us on her facebook when we haven’t lived with her in over to years because she’s an abusive alcoholic it makes so angry and I don’t know how to deal with it but it’s nice to know others go through something similar.
This triggered me.
Me sitting here with my little Ben on my lap... his Nanas are allowed to post pictures on their private status etc, they asked permission and they ARE involved. They help us so much too ❤😊
My grandmother was the same, when my mum started saying that she wasn’t involved my gran started saying that my mother refused to let her see me and my siblings… my mum doesn’t talk to her anymore and neither do I
I’ve been very fortunate to have so much support from my family. And my kids other grandparents too. We are a blended family and luckily both my ex partner/co parent and current partner also have supportive families who not only want to be a part of things but respect boundaries too!
My grandmother absolutely HAD to come se us at least twice a week. She did. She was always visiting and we were so close with her. She passed when I was 15, I still miss her so much, even though it's been 20 years.
My mother was the one who told me grandma almost went through withdrawal if she didn't see us...
My mother close by and looooves being grandma, but has seen my son maybe five times a year...
I hate that my son doesn't get that loving, doting grandma experience. Mine is absent and my husband's mom passed right after my son was born...
Watching this as someone with an INCREDIBLY healthy relationship with my mother literally stuns me. Every thing said I was just like: "....okay and?", genuinely confused what the issue was until I realized. 😂 reminds me how privilaged and lucky I am to have no worries with my mom and atleast an understanding of everything she does is genuinely out of love.
The day each of her three children had their first child. My mother-in-law who I thought would be an overbearing 1st generation American-Sicilian mother-in-law instead gives them a letter that says “I’m not comfortable with small children. I don’t like babies don’t ask me to babysit. I’m not your grandma Rose.” And she meant it. She still wanted photos for her friends.
For Real! My mom bugged me for years to give her a grand baby- only for her to never show up!
This is why I don’t send pictures to people I don’t trust. There are certain people I don’t want to see my child and also don’t want him being seen by strangers. I wish people could respect others and their children more
I would of said I agree. I'll remember to tell her how amazing she is at her once a year visit
Thats when i just get plain honest and laugh it off since we all wanna make jokes😊
I HAVE HAD THIS EXACT CONVERSATION BEFORE.
My grandma who lives across the country be real quiet since i was born...
Lol yeah …i lived IN MY MIL’s BASEMENT and she never came to help me with two babies in 2 years… not once. FB posts don’t = actual care or relationships.
My own mother is bad about posting my son's photos even though she knows I try to be private when it comes to that... and then acts like she took them. 🙃
Don't mind her having photos, just wish she'd understand she doesn't override me as a parent just because she's my mother. 🤦🏼♀️
@@iPixie66 oh she understands.
Thank God for my wonderful Grandmother who raised me when my mother had to "live her own life"
Ughhh So relatable!!!
Shawna, you videos remind me a lot of my mom. I wish i could show your videos to her, a lot of these skits are like literal dramatization of things she and my dad have been through (the good and the bad)
"Lucky you she's SO involved!"
Yeah... super duper too involved ahahàhhh.. yeeaahh..
Ha the baby shower for first born was thrown by my MIL & it was definitely for her & her friends.
This is my MIL to a T! She wants to show off her beautiful grandchildren but never sees them even though we relocated (no she didn’t help with that either and no we weren’t expecting her to) 4 miles away so she could be the “hands on grandma” she falsely promised to be.
I would have been unable to hold my tongue and said “she doesn’t see them, but she does like to post pictures.”
My own mother was very distant when I was pregnant. Even by the time I was 6 months along my father got mad at her because she wasn't doing all the grandma stuff with me. But once my son was born she completely changed. Took off work because I had a bad c-section, ended up being the best grandma my son could ask for. She's sick now but for 27 years she was the best. Sometimes it takes time to figure out the "grandparent" role.
ooh i need to write my story here :D
so we moved from the city to a smaller village/town to be near to my mother in law about 9 years ago. actually we live like 400m from her now. my husbands one sister lives literally right next to us also. i think i can on ONE hand count how many times my mother in law has babysat our children, whom one is 10. so in ten years. and she is not very good at hiding her feelings from her face about those times. does not cook anymore and does not care to play :D
on the other hand!
my own mother actually surprised us with also moving here about 8 years ago. she loves spending time with my children, takes them places, loves to give them different experiences, we are a great team when traveling with the kids too. and she has a full time job, also building herself a house in the country. she does all that and still has time for my kids and me. so we have exactly two complete opposite grannys.
words do not reach how grateful we are for a hands on grandma, but we are also grateful for our other grandma. people are very very different. and if we didnt have a passive grandma then maybe we wouldnt be as appreciative for my mom as we are now.
Huge difference between loving someone and saying you do
Ever since I had my baby the only people that actually text me for conversations are my husband and my immediate family. Any of my extended family (minus my maternal grandmother) text me to tell me they want pictures of her. Like this week was my paternal grandmother’s birthday and I just texted her because my baby was screaming and all she sent back was “send me pictures”
Perfectly described my fil…
Oh geez this describes my mom to a t! She loves having pics to show her coworkers but uhhh not really interested in the actual kid