I want to say thank you for your videos, both therapy and driving. At the age of 56 I still haven't passed my test despite a few attempts to learn. During a recent conversation with my brother about our childhood I had a revelation. I had a father who, whenever I proudly showed him work I'd done, would say ' Very nice .....but...'. And then proceed to tell me how I could have done it better. So now I avoid doing things because I won't do them perfectly. Big lightbulb moment. So now I need to find an instructor who can help me build the confidence to go with the skills I've learnt. Wish I lived closer to Birmingham.
Thanks. That's a common reason for having problems and what you have to do is give ownership of the problem back to whoever gave it to you. Some people imagine shoving all of their problems into a big box or treasure chest and handing it back to the person that gave them those issues, leaving them to carry it while you walk off free :-D
Thank you for the reply. It made a difference to realise that I was so fixed on driving perfectly that I was actually stifling the natural growth of my confidence. Handing those beliefs back to him is the next step. Then I can allow myself to enjoy a lot more things in life.
When you say that (using your example) the client starts at 1 o'clock and then has no idea what happens, do you mean in addition to where their mind takes them, that they are also unaware of the passage of time? If so, that reminds me so much of Betty Edwards book, Drawing on the right side of the brain, where it talks of how we can only draw creatively if we draw from our illogical right side, and not the logical left and that we know when a task has used the right side because we can have been at it for hours and only feel a few minutes (if that) have passed. The book actually states that in some people, the right side of the brain is the left, and the left side is the right, just to add to the illogical I guess :)
Is this true: - Give up the idea that you have control, since you don’t have any control over anything in your life and you have to accept how you feel. - The stressful problem that I myself created in my mind at any point, are not by any kind of memory. Only in my mind. - The fear has nothing to do with driving, I can relate with (RO) personality. The fear is shown elsewhere in any situation that are out of your comfort zone. - Nothing makes sense in this world, it doesn’t have to, since it doesn’t. As dreams, that are constantly rebuilding to the better, as nonsense for us. You are the solution, in your mind.
You don't have to accept how you feel, that's how you get trapped. You don't have control over external events but you do have control over internal things like your thoughts and feelings. It's when you want to control things you can't that (the external things) you feel stressed. For example, if you want to control things like people speeding, others driving badly, others being reckless then you are wasting your time. You can't control the actions of others their actions can only make you feel bad if you let them. Nobody can ever make you feel anything, that's always your choice. If someone tries to give you a gift and you don't accept it then they can't give it to you. The same goes for anything negative - just leave it with them and they're stuck with it! I don't have time to answer the rest here but I might do a video answering them.
@@1stdrive Yeah, I worded wrong about acceptance. The things that we can’t control is what makes us anxious, we have to see ourselves, in our own way of processing. We have control over feelings/thinking that is on the conscious side, not subconscious, it’s there where it all lies. I’m an open minded person, but tend to want to have control when I can’t, watching your videos have changed my mindset which is in the right direction :) It’s good to talk to yourself and reflect, helps a lot on the way.
I want to say thank you for your videos, both therapy and driving. At the age of 56 I still haven't passed my test despite a few attempts to learn. During a recent conversation with my brother about our childhood I had a revelation. I had a father who, whenever I proudly showed him work I'd done, would say ' Very nice .....but...'. And then proceed to tell me how I could have done it better. So now I avoid doing things because I won't do them perfectly.
Big lightbulb moment. So now I need to find an instructor who can help me build the confidence to go with the skills I've learnt. Wish I lived closer to Birmingham.
Thanks. That's a common reason for having problems and what you have to do is give ownership of the problem back to whoever gave it to you. Some people imagine shoving all of their problems into a big box or treasure chest and handing it back to the person that gave them those issues, leaving them to carry it while you walk off free :-D
Thank you for the reply. It made a difference to realise that I was so fixed on driving perfectly that I was actually stifling the natural growth of my confidence. Handing those beliefs back to him is the next step. Then I can allow myself to enjoy a lot more things in life.
When you say that (using your example) the client starts at 1 o'clock and then has no idea what happens, do you mean in addition to where their mind takes them, that they are also unaware of the passage of time?
If so, that reminds me so much of Betty Edwards book, Drawing on the right side of the brain, where it talks of how we can only draw creatively if we draw from our illogical right side, and not the logical left and that we know when a task has used the right side because we can have been at it for hours and only feel a few minutes (if that) have passed.
The book actually states that in some people, the right side of the brain is the left, and the left side is the right, just to add to the illogical I guess :)
Is this true:
- Give up the idea that you have control, since you don’t have any control over anything in your life and you have to accept how you feel.
- The stressful problem that I myself created in my mind at any point, are not by any kind of memory. Only in my mind.
- The fear has nothing to do with driving, I can relate with (RO) personality. The fear is shown elsewhere in any situation that are out of your comfort zone.
- Nothing makes sense in this world, it doesn’t have to, since it doesn’t. As dreams, that are constantly rebuilding to the better, as nonsense for us.
You are the solution, in your mind.
You don't have to accept how you feel, that's how you get trapped.
You don't have control over external events but you do have control over internal things like your thoughts and feelings. It's when you want to control things you can't that (the external things) you feel stressed.
For example, if you want to control things like people speeding, others driving badly, others being reckless then you are wasting your time. You can't control the actions of others their actions can only make you feel bad if you let them.
Nobody can ever make you feel anything, that's always your choice. If someone tries to give you a gift and you don't accept it then they can't give it to you. The same goes for anything negative - just leave it with them and they're stuck with it!
I don't have time to answer the rest here but I might do a video answering them.
@@1stdrive Yeah, I worded wrong about acceptance. The things that we can’t control is what makes us anxious, we have to see ourselves, in our own way of processing.
We have control over feelings/thinking that is on the conscious side, not subconscious, it’s there where it all lies.
I’m an open minded person, but tend to want to have control when I can’t, watching your videos have changed my mindset which is in the right direction :)
It’s good to talk to yourself and reflect, helps a lot on the way.