I loved this so much Saphina!!!! I had to repent for being mad at God for me still being single at 35. You could say that the "purity culture" was the gospel for me in some respects. I really had to reevaluate my service and devotion to the Lord. Marriage was really an idol for me. It took me a while to admit that. I thought that once I gave my life to Christ, repented of my sin and did what a "good" Christian woman was supposed to do.......I would be married by now. I had to learn that God doesn't work that way. He wants our hearts to be fully devoted to him!!!! I let social media preach to me a gospel that wasn't real. I am getting back to the basics and just learning to enjoy God again for WHO HE IS and not what I want from him. Sorry for the long post. But thank you for sharing this wisdom!!! Blessings!
I know I'm late, but my mom didn't marry her love until she was almost forty. I know women who never married but found and loved themselves. Marriage isn't the goal. It's a step on the path, so to speak.
I agree with all of this, I was caught up with purity culture in college. I’ve spent the past few years rebuilding a solid foundation in Christ. God is calling us to be close to Him, to know Him.
This is so good. I believe there are two great extremes in this form of teaching. One, that you were stating. The other, not believing in purity whatsoever and assuming one can do what they want. I believe in purity, but solely based upon my love for God, not my desire for a husband and that’s where the problem lies. When purity it taught based on the desire for a husband rather than the desire to give all of ourselves to God. This also has to do with a mindset. I believe if you walk into the purity gospel blindly with no relationship with God of your own you’ll quickly be pulled into the mindset that you’re speaking of. Also, having knowledge of sound doctrine and theology is a must.
There was a female preacher/influencer who posted a picture of her wedding with a thread with something of the lines of if you remain pure God will give you your husband and a woman commented with sad story about how she waited on God and her husband who was a leader cheated on her and dis pastor wife /influencer and her followers were like maybe you man wasnt even from God whatever God gives is perfect rubbing salt in the wounds of this poor woman on instagram
I just discovered your videos, and I'm amazed by your wisdom and CLARITY! This is SO good! God has given you a gift, and I am thankful to have found your ministry (channel). One minor request, and I'm not trying to be nitpicky, but it would be helpful if you cut out the background music during your talks. It makes it harder to concentrate and hear what you're saying. That being said, you really are incredible, and I pray God blesses your work!
Paul Allen Hey Paul! Praise God! & Thank You! 🙏🏾🙏🏾 I will def consider lowering it as much as possible. I do love some sort of sound though so we can meet in the middle! Deal? Haha Thanks again for your kind words! ❤️
Good insight! As a man, I tried to keep from being in every woman's face. Tried to avoid that "temptation". It led to a lot of loneliness. No one really teaches you how to deal with that. It's great to teach ppl to love themselves, but living like one mistake will take you out of God's will can feel tremendously heavy. Now I'm in my 30s unmarried and living the single life. I went through my 20s looking for a wife. I feel like I did things backwards sometimes. I wish relationships were explained in more detail in the bible.
A lot of people look to the Bible for some kind of template on relationships and dating, but even if it did explain it in more detail, I don't think we could follow it, because culturally and socially, things were very very different back then. Women were basically second-class citizens and in many cases were considered to be the property of men, and things were incredibly unequal which were reflected in the laws at the time (women could be stoned if they were caught committing adultery, but men were not).
@@idongesitx1873 Were men stoned too? In my Religious Moral and Philosophical Studies class in high school, we did Gender Studies as part of the course and I don't remember reading about that. Even if they were killed, do you know if this would have happened to a lot of men?
@@Damsel_in_This_Dress Leviticus (20:10-12) which reads: "If a man commits adultery with another man's wife, even with the wife of his neighbour, both the adulterer and adulteress must be put to death. A lot of these courses when they ‘study’ the Bible, don’t read the Bible firsthand and just parrot information. They also avoid context. If men cheated they died. Cheating was not tolerated regardless of gender. Men cheating in the Bible was not celebrated or encouraged. In the New Testament they is the adulterous woman/ prostitute who the Pharisees wanted to stone. Jesus told them, the one without sin cast the first stone and no one did. The purpose of stoning was not be some gender discrimination or to keep women inferior but to literal show the wages of sin is death. Another interesting analysis of the adulterous woman segment is that the men who wanted to stone her had probably slept with her, so they understood that they were just as guilty as her and no better, so they walked away.
@@idongesitx1873 Oh that's interesting. The course I studied (which was years ago, by the way), did use Biblical references throughout. I remember keeping a Bible next to me when I was writing my assignments/essays, to make sure the verses I was using were correct. Context was also important in this. Even if cheating wasn't allowed for men, I would be interested to know how many of the men who committed adultery were actually put to death. It was very much a male-dominated society, and didn't the laws reflect this?
Wow!! This is so good, I remembered feeling so guilty so guilty when me and my now godly husband kissed and when he was looking at me , I felt like something was wrong with him, while in fact something was wrong with me, because in my mind I had something completely different on how my godly man is supposed to act or kissing before marriage. thank you for sharing that, I’m not alone 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes girl! That's so real. Godly men are STILL men. I think purity culture in a sense villainizes human attraction which is a normal thing. A Godly man is still a man and IS going to be attracted to you and it doesn't mean he's immature, it means he's human. It def took me some time to process this. lol smh
Yesssss!!!! This is so on point! I’ve been feeling the same & my heart hurts for women who insecurities are being used to be monetized on too. This was good! 🙏🏾
Kenya Denise same sis! It really grieves my heart and gets me so frustrated! But I do have the faith that God is doing a new thing in the hearts of His daughters so I’m hype!👏🏽
Sis!! This video blessed me beyond measure! I was going to write a paragraph to you but I got inspired to go work on my blog and tell me story! You walk in true freedom in Christ keep going sis!!
Daughter of Yah Praise God sis! Thank you for the encouragement! And PLEASE write the blog!!!! The church needs more female voices who teach truth! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm literally about to cut down a lot of people I listen to because it's too much and it sometimes drowns out hearing the voice of God. Lawd this is too much 😩
This was such a sound message! I was caught up in purity culture for a couple months then God pulled me out of it & into sanity. A lot of the problem stems from Christian "influencers" selling the fake pipe dream while not promoting a purpose-led life in singleness. The goal of life is not marriage. Purpose comes before and is cultivated after.
Hi! Thank you for this video and touching on the fact that as we get older and mature in the Messiah, that we go through a phase where we question everything we believed in to examine the root and make sure it still holds true according to Scripture.. it’s a very enlightening journey with ups and downs.. but I’m glad you mentioned that because it’s not a bad thing…
Very good video. I've been doing a bit of research on this topic but I have mainly seen the criticism of the movement instead of solutions that tend to be not biblical
This is so real. I’ve been going through this. Feeling like if I fail in dating with any sexual act that I have to cut the guy off. Or that the lord won’t bless it. And idk where I got this idea from. But it’s been so much pressure for me. I set such high standards for myself that I have t truly been able to attain. And I’m trying to break them. And live for a place of intentionality with the lord. Whenever we strive for God with works we miss him. Because he desires transformation. No pressure. So this is good. I do pray that I can wait for my husband but I’m not going to idolize this perfect idea of what that looks like anymore
I think it’s very important to make sure you have yourself right first. I haven’t been too focused on a husband but I wanted to know about this purity movement I heard about this year. One of my biggest sexual sins is fornication but The Holy Spirit has been operating in my life. Fornication is a slippery slope to get away and needs deliverance from. It can create generational curses I believe. It’s best to abstain for yourself. To keep yourself from damnation besides a husband and to protect your body/ temple from evil spirits. I just felt compelled to tell you this.
thank you so much for saying all of this! I literally just did my own video about this & I was searching for it & saw yours! It's definitely problematic & I'm so grateful to be free of it!!
Sis....listennnnnnnnnnnnn.... you just snatched ALL my edges! I just left the “purity culture” because it ain’t real sis! I’m starting over my salvation post “purity culture”
Omg!! This is too accurate! Even the some preachers preaching their story as the gospel don’t practice what they preach! Sigh! I cannot believe I’ve tried to be the Christian girl all my life
Thank you for this videos. I too was deceived by purity culture because I put way too much emphasis from many Christian leaders. As I grew up as a young woman I realized life isn’t cookie cutter and it often gets messy and my relationship with God. I’m restoring my relationship with God now.
I love every last one of your videos and your wisdom is the best I've seen on youtube, unmatched, you have a gift, please consider doing Bible study! God Bless girl! 💕💕💕
You do make some really good points. Others may be misinformed. Purity isn’t just a physical state, it’s also a spiritual/mental state. It comes back to having your mind renewed and you coming to the Father as a child. Children don’t know (or shouldn’t know) about sex in their innocence. Christianity is not about being good so you can go to heaven or believing so you can get stuff. It’s about relationship, transformation, and sanctification. Jesus told the adulterous woman after He told her there was no one to condemn her to go and sin no more.
I am currently studying the bible from Emmaus website. I do question the purity culture and I too need to repent from bitterness it created as it can lead to extremism.
As a man I can tell you this is exactly the reason why at one point I completely stopped reading ALL Christian dating books and videos because I found the content to be very monotonous, cookie cutter, idealistic, and to some extent ridiculously unrealistic.. I realized that allot of my sisters in the Lord were allowing their dating standards and expectations to be shaped by what another author or speaker projected on to them thru their writings and their experiences (however I'm not saying that none of the books had no good content). Then when they went into the dating arena with some of those mindsets and tried to interact with Christian guys it didn't go well. Well its because they were trying to replicate someone else's reality rather than trusting God to guide them through their own journey and unique set of experiences. Between a never ending supply of books, DVD's, lectures, talk back series and seminars, and of course MP3 sermon series of conferences I began to feel like Christian singles were and are a targeted audience to be marketed too rather than ministered too. However, recently I have just started getting back into a couple of Christian authors and reading their works on dating. Being in my 30's now I can process this stuff better. But I'm still careful. Also thank you for mentioning checking your expectations. I have been in Christian spaces where the burden of any kind of change or adjustment is largely placed on the shoulders of men (which I understand to some degree) but what I have found in my personal experience is that there has been little to no emphases made on whether or not a woman's expectations are even realistic. High expectations are one thing, but dealing with somebody's expectations that aren't even rooted in reality is whole different ball game. With high expectations there can be grace extended if a guy is not necessarily measuring up in a certain area so to speak, thereby giving him time to get his stuff together. But with unrealistic expectations there's really not much anybody can do with that except to admonish the person to check themselves and there heart motives and your video did just that. Thank you for posting this GOSPEL CENTERED content dear sister. EXCELLENT VIDEO! God bless you.
Thank you for this.Just got out of a relationship with a girl in the purity culture movement. All I’m going to say it was quite interesting and very dogmatic.
Purity culture could be hard if you are heterosexual but since I'm asexual it is awesome. Thanks to purity culture I can be accepted by society as unmarried and childless, no more stigma. Most asexuals are also healthy and in good shape because we avoid the only sin that people commit against their own bodies. "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18 "For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:14
To Develop a Christ Like Character is Difficult, and a treacherous road that none of us are willing to walk through. We are to deny our lust of the flesh and sight and instead govern it. Christ came to this world to prove its possible to live a righteous life. why are we then called Christians if we refuse to live by principle but want to compromise. and then try to justify it? Christ gave a warning: Revelation 3:16 So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. we are to war against our evil inclinations. if you want sex that is holy and not sinful..ask god to find you a partner..get married..simple.
I've begged God for years for a spouse...nothing. I too was told the same things. That my natural biological drive to have sex was evil. That my body was evil. Ideas like yours is why I suffered from irreversible mental damage and self-worth.
@@ashleyspurling5701 "That my body was evil." yes your body is evil, i m sorry were you born holy? without a fallen nature? Sex is only evil outside of marriage, stop acting stupid. did you even read what i said????? You natural drive to have sex should be IN THE BOUNDS OF MARRIAGE. Stop fooling yourself, PLUS GOD HAS LONG SINCE answered the question of how his people are to choose spouses. Go and read the bible. THEN COME BACK with a more intelligent answer
@@rodwellmark9608 then it's a good thing I no longer believe in your hateful backwards primitive authoritarianistic harmful religion. Precisely because of bigoted hateful hypocritical people like you with no human empathy or decency.
@@ashleyspurling5701 Correction it's not my religion, its GOD religion, you have a problem with Jesus's standards not people like me. He said: Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! we are called to hate our nature, we may fall now and again but we should not embrace it and make excuses for it like the rest of the world, A world that is in love with compromise and SIN.
@@rodwellmark9608 typical Christian arrogance. Every religion in the world says they are "GOD'S religion" and their standards and rules are the right ones given to them by God and all others are wrong. The truth is you have no proof your following God's will except a backwards primitive book written by men thousands of years ago that could have been lying to manipulate the masses as religion has always done. And every religion has their own Bible telling them they are following God's Word and all others are lying. So again what proof do you have you are right and everyone else who believes otherwise is wrong?
To me, kissing is just as intimate as sex. I would not want to kiss someone who was not my life long committed husband. Why would I waste my mouth on some sinner who doesn't really love me? I don't understand why you make it sound unimportant. Kissing involves exchanging saliva, and being up in each other's breath. Not casual, if you ask me.
I don't understand why any girl who understands their worth would wanna kiss someone their not married to...yes, there is 'legalism' around but let's be careful not to end up on the other extreme where we think righteousness and holiness only has to do with what's in the heart.
@@pobo6689 I'm not talking about holiness. I'm talking about a lack of commitment and lack of emotional and intellectual connection. The man leaves the woman and she's left feeling abandoned (or vice versa).
I loved this so much Saphina!!!! I had to repent for being mad at God for me still being single at 35. You could say that the "purity culture" was the gospel for me in some respects. I really had to reevaluate my service and devotion to the Lord. Marriage was really an idol for me. It took me a while to admit that. I thought that once I gave my life to Christ, repented of my sin and did what a "good" Christian woman was supposed to do.......I would be married by now. I had to learn that God doesn't work that way. He wants our hearts to be fully devoted to him!!!! I let social media preach to me a gospel that wasn't real. I am getting back to the basics and just learning to enjoy God again for WHO HE IS and not what I want from him. Sorry for the long post. But thank you for sharing this wisdom!!! Blessings!
I know I'm late, but my mom didn't marry her love until she was almost forty. I know women who never married but found and loved themselves. Marriage isn't the goal. It's a step on the path, so to speak.
Are you married now?
So good. 🙏🏾 “testimonies are not templates” rewind and repeat! I felt that!
I agree with all of this, I was caught up with purity culture in college. I’ve spent the past few years rebuilding a solid foundation in Christ. God is calling us to be close to Him, to know Him.
numberonefan313 Same!❤️
This is so good. I believe there are two great extremes in this form of teaching. One, that you were stating. The other, not believing in purity whatsoever and assuming one can do what they want. I believe in purity, but solely based upon my love for God, not my desire for a husband and that’s where the problem lies. When purity it taught based on the desire for a husband rather than the desire to give all of ourselves to God. This also has to do with a mindset. I believe if you walk into the purity gospel blindly with no relationship with God of your own you’ll quickly be pulled into the mindset that you’re speaking of. Also, having knowledge of sound doctrine and theology is a must.
The Lion Queen TV Bingo sis!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@saphinawest Lovely video from a beautiful women.
“People who preach their story as gospel” that’s its....edges GONEEEEEE!!!!
There was a female preacher/influencer who posted a picture of her wedding with a thread with something of the lines of if you remain pure God will give you your husband and a woman commented with sad story about how she waited on God and her husband who was a leader cheated on her and dis pastor wife /influencer and her followers were like maybe you man wasnt even from God whatever God gives is perfect rubbing salt in the wounds of this poor woman on instagram
That is so heartbreaking
I just discovered your videos, and I'm amazed by your wisdom and CLARITY! This is SO good! God has given you a gift, and I am thankful to have found your ministry (channel).
One minor request, and I'm not trying to be nitpicky, but it would be helpful if you cut out the background music during your talks. It makes it harder to concentrate and hear what you're saying. That being said, you really are incredible, and I pray God blesses your work!
Paul Allen Hey Paul! Praise God! & Thank You! 🙏🏾🙏🏾 I will def consider lowering it as much as possible. I do love some sort of sound though so we can meet in the middle! Deal? Haha Thanks again for your kind words! ❤️
@@saphinawest
Deal! LOL
Good insight! As a man, I tried to keep from being in every woman's face. Tried to avoid that "temptation". It led to a lot of loneliness. No one really teaches you how to deal with that. It's great to teach ppl to love themselves, but living like one mistake will take you out of God's will can feel tremendously heavy. Now I'm in my 30s unmarried and living the single life. I went through my 20s looking for a wife. I feel like I did things backwards sometimes. I wish relationships were explained in more detail in the bible.
A lot of people look to the Bible for some kind of template on relationships and dating, but even if it did explain it in more detail, I don't think we could follow it, because culturally and socially, things were very very different back then. Women were basically second-class citizens and in many cases were considered to be the property of men, and things were incredibly unequal which were reflected in the laws at the time (women could be stoned if they were caught committing adultery, but men were not).
@@Damsel_in_This_Dress both adultères were killed actually
@@idongesitx1873 Were men stoned too? In my Religious Moral and Philosophical Studies class in high school, we did Gender Studies as part of the course and I don't remember reading about that. Even if they were killed, do you know if this would have happened to a lot of men?
@@Damsel_in_This_Dress Leviticus (20:10-12) which reads: "If a man commits adultery with another man's wife, even with the wife of his neighbour, both the adulterer and adulteress must be put to death. A lot of these courses when they ‘study’ the Bible, don’t read the Bible firsthand and just parrot information. They also avoid context. If men cheated they died. Cheating was not tolerated regardless of gender. Men cheating in the Bible was not celebrated or encouraged. In the New Testament they is the adulterous woman/ prostitute who the Pharisees wanted to stone. Jesus told them, the one without sin cast the first stone and no one did. The purpose of stoning was not be some gender discrimination or to keep women inferior but to literal show the wages of sin is death. Another interesting analysis of the adulterous woman segment is that the men who wanted to stone her had probably slept with her, so they understood that they were just as guilty as her and no better, so they walked away.
@@idongesitx1873 Oh that's interesting. The course I studied (which was years ago, by the way), did use Biblical references throughout. I remember keeping a Bible next to me when I was writing my assignments/essays, to make sure the verses I was using were correct. Context was also important in this.
Even if cheating wasn't allowed for men, I would be interested to know how many of the men who committed adultery were actually put to death. It was very much a male-dominated society, and didn't the laws reflect this?
Wow!! This is so good, I remembered feeling so guilty so guilty when me and my now godly husband kissed and when he was looking at me , I felt like something was wrong with him, while in fact something was wrong with me, because in my mind I had something completely different on how my godly man is supposed to act or kissing before marriage. thank you for sharing that, I’m not alone 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes girl! That's so real. Godly men are STILL men. I think purity culture in a sense villainizes human attraction which is a normal thing. A Godly man is still a man and IS going to be attracted to you and it doesn't mean he's immature, it means he's human. It def took me some time to process this. lol smh
Wow
Yesssss!!!! This is so on point! I’ve been feeling the same & my heart hurts for women who insecurities are being used to be monetized
on too. This was good! 🙏🏾
Kenya Denise same sis! It really grieves my heart and gets me so frustrated! But I do have the faith that God is doing a new thing in the hearts of His daughters so I’m hype!👏🏽
A Kings Love Convo's yes sis! He is awakening those who have been sleep! Reviving our faith to be established on SOLID ground in Him! 💛🙏🏾
Sis!! This video blessed me beyond measure! I was going to write a paragraph to you but I got inspired to go work on my blog and tell me story! You walk in true freedom in Christ keep going sis!!
Daughter of Yah Praise God sis! Thank you for the encouragement! And PLEASE write the blog!!!! The church needs more female voices who teach truth! ❤️❤️❤️
@@saphinawest 💗 Thanks sis!!!! 💗💗 I am so grateful for your ministry! 😁
I'm literally about to cut down a lot of people I listen to because it's too much and it sometimes drowns out hearing the voice of God. Lawd this is too much 😩
This was such a sound message! I was caught up in purity culture for a couple months then God pulled me out of it & into sanity. A lot of the problem stems from Christian "influencers" selling the fake pipe dream while not promoting a purpose-led life in singleness. The goal of life is not marriage. Purpose comes before and is cultivated after.
"We have to be so careful of people who preach their opinions and not the word" Wow so true!!!
Hi! Thank you for this video and touching on the fact that as we get older and mature in the Messiah, that we go through a phase where we question everything we believed in to examine the root and make sure it still holds true according to Scripture.. it’s a very enlightening journey with ups and downs.. but I’m glad you mentioned that because it’s not a bad thing…
Very good video. I've been doing a bit of research on this topic but I have mainly seen the criticism of the movement instead of solutions that tend to be not biblical
This is so real. I’ve been going through this. Feeling like if I fail in dating with any sexual act that I have to cut the guy off. Or that the lord won’t bless it. And idk where I got this idea from. But it’s been so much pressure for me. I set such high standards for myself that I have t truly been able to attain. And I’m trying to break them. And live for a place of intentionality with the lord. Whenever we strive for God with works we miss him. Because he desires transformation. No pressure. So this is good. I do pray that I can wait for my husband but I’m not going to idolize this perfect idea of what that looks like anymore
I think it’s very important to make sure you have yourself right first. I haven’t been too focused on a husband but I wanted to know about this purity movement I heard about this year. One of my biggest sexual sins is fornication but The Holy Spirit has been operating in my life. Fornication is a slippery slope to get away and needs deliverance from. It can create generational curses I believe. It’s best to abstain for yourself. To keep yourself from damnation besides a husband and to protect your body/ temple from evil spirits. I just felt compelled to tell you this.
thank you so much for saying all of this! I literally just did my own video about this & I was searching for it & saw yours! It's definitely problematic & I'm so grateful to be free of it!!
Sis....listennnnnnnnnnnnn.... you just snatched ALL my edges! I just left the “purity culture” because it ain’t real sis! I’m starting over my salvation post “purity culture”
This video is so good and so timely for my current season.
Megan Potts ❤️Yes! I’m glad!
Omg!! This is too accurate! Even the some preachers preaching their story as the gospel don’t practice what they preach! Sigh! I cannot believe I’ve tried to be the Christian girl all my life
You are beautiful and I enjoyed your commentary sis. God bless
"testimonies are not templates"
This was really good and helpful! I missed your videos. 🙏🏾
MsIsyssCorner Aww I missed making them! ❤️ Thanks for watching! P.S- What you doin up so late? 😂
A Kings Love Convo's Lol! This whole thing has my sleep schedule off 😂
I loved this video. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this videos. I too was deceived by purity culture because I put way too much emphasis from many Christian leaders. As I grew up as a young woman I realized life isn’t cookie cutter and it often gets messy and my relationship with God. I’m restoring my relationship with God now.
Really good Saphina.
Aadia Bunch Aadiaaaaaa!! Miss you bro!
@@saphinawest So good to se that you're still doing (A Kings Love Convo's)! Keep it coming!
Yes!!! I love that we are having this conversation!!! I’m beyond sick of it!
I love every last one of your videos and your wisdom is the best I've seen on youtube, unmatched, you have a gift, please consider doing Bible study! God Bless girl! 💕💕💕
Shannon Hunt aww Praise God! Thank you for the encouragement Shannon. And Yes! I definitely plan on doing some bible studies on here.❤️
I‘m so celebate I can‘t even concentrate on work. It‘s emberassing…
Love this video !!
this is so good! amen and amen and amen sister in Christ!
You do make some really good points. Others may be misinformed. Purity isn’t just a physical state, it’s also a spiritual/mental state. It comes back to having your mind renewed and you coming to the Father as a child. Children don’t know (or shouldn’t know) about sex in their innocence. Christianity is not about being good so you can go to heaven or believing so you can get stuff. It’s about relationship, transformation, and sanctification. Jesus told the adulterous woman after He told her there was no one to condemn her to go and sin no more.
if youre like 'a child' mentally in 18,20,30,ect you need a therapist
Are you saying that we shouldn't know anything about sex cause we're God's children?
I am currently studying the bible from Emmaus website. I do question the purity culture and I too need to repent from bitterness it created as it can lead to extremism.
Preach!!!🙄 this is amazing as a woman your inspiration
As a man I can tell you this is exactly the reason why at one point I completely stopped reading ALL Christian dating books and videos because I found the content to be very monotonous, cookie cutter, idealistic, and to some extent ridiculously unrealistic.. I realized that allot of my sisters in the Lord were allowing their dating standards and expectations to be shaped by what another author or speaker projected on to them thru their writings and their experiences (however I'm not saying that none of the books had no good content). Then when they went into the dating arena with some of those mindsets and tried to interact with Christian guys it didn't go well. Well its because they were trying to replicate someone else's reality rather than trusting God to guide them through their own journey and unique set of experiences. Between a never ending supply of books, DVD's, lectures, talk back series and seminars, and of course MP3 sermon series of conferences I began to feel like Christian singles were and are a targeted audience to be marketed too rather than ministered too.
However, recently I have just started getting back into a couple of Christian authors and reading their works on dating. Being in my 30's now I can process this stuff better. But I'm still careful. Also thank you for mentioning checking your expectations. I have been in Christian spaces where the burden of any kind of change or adjustment is largely placed on the shoulders of men (which I understand to some degree) but what I have found in my personal experience is that there has been little to no emphases made on whether or not a woman's expectations are even realistic. High expectations are one thing, but dealing with somebody's expectations that aren't even rooted in reality is whole different ball game. With high expectations there can be grace extended if a guy is not necessarily measuring up in a certain area so to speak, thereby giving him time to get his stuff together. But with unrealistic expectations there's really not much anybody can do with that except to admonish the person to check themselves and there heart motives and your video did just that. Thank you for posting this GOSPEL CENTERED content dear sister. EXCELLENT VIDEO!
God bless you.
So easy to get off into legalism I myself had to break free from this way of thinking
Thank you for this.Just got out of a relationship with a girl in the purity culture movement. All I’m going to say it was quite interesting and very dogmatic.
That debtor reference?! 🔥 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
Feeling like a fraud... you’re on point!
Finally, someone said it! 👌🏾🔥
Thank-you!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🔥❤️
Yes! We are saved by faith!
Purity culture could be hard if you are heterosexual but since I'm asexual it is awesome. Thanks to purity culture I can be accepted by society as unmarried and childless, no more stigma. Most asexuals are also healthy and in good shape because we avoid the only sin that people commit against their own bodies.
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18
"For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:14
To Develop a Christ Like Character is Difficult, and a treacherous road that none of us are willing to walk through. We are to deny our lust of the flesh and sight and instead govern it.
Christ came to this world to prove its possible to live a righteous life. why are we then called Christians if we refuse to live by principle but want
to compromise. and then try to justify it? Christ gave a warning:
Revelation 3:16
So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.
we are to war against our evil inclinations. if you want sex that is holy and not sinful..ask god to find you a partner..get married..simple.
I've begged God for years for a spouse...nothing. I too was told the same things. That my natural biological drive to have sex was evil. That my body was evil. Ideas like yours is why I suffered from irreversible mental damage and self-worth.
@@ashleyspurling5701 "That my body was evil."
yes your body is evil, i m sorry were you born holy? without a fallen nature?
Sex is only evil outside of marriage, stop acting stupid. did you even read what i said?????
You natural drive to have sex should be IN THE BOUNDS OF MARRIAGE. Stop fooling yourself,
PLUS GOD HAS LONG SINCE answered the question of how his people are to choose spouses. Go and read the bible. THEN COME BACK with a more intelligent answer
@@rodwellmark9608 then it's a good thing I no longer believe in your hateful backwards primitive authoritarianistic harmful religion. Precisely because of bigoted hateful hypocritical people like you with no human empathy or decency.
@@ashleyspurling5701 Correction it's not my religion, its GOD religion, you have a problem with Jesus's standards not people like me.
He said: Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
we are called to hate our nature, we may fall now and again but we should not embrace it and make excuses for it like the rest of the world, A world that is in love with compromise and SIN.
@@rodwellmark9608 typical Christian arrogance. Every religion in the world says they are "GOD'S religion" and their standards and rules are the right ones given to them by God and all others are wrong. The truth is you have no proof your following God's will except a backwards primitive book written by men thousands of years ago that could have been lying to manipulate the masses as religion has always done. And every religion has their own Bible telling them they are following God's Word and all others are lying. So again what proof do you have you are right and everyone else who believes otherwise is wrong?
To me, kissing is just as intimate as sex. I would not want to kiss someone who was not my life long committed husband. Why would I waste my mouth on some sinner who doesn't really love me? I don't understand why you make it sound unimportant. Kissing involves exchanging saliva, and being up in each other's breath. Not casual, if you ask me.
I don't understand why any girl who understands their worth would wanna kiss someone their not married to...yes, there is 'legalism' around but let's be careful not to end up on the other extreme where we think righteousness and holiness only has to do with what's in the heart.
@@pobo6689 I'm not talking about holiness. I'm talking about a lack of commitment and lack of emotional and intellectual connection. The man leaves the woman and she's left feeling abandoned (or vice versa).
TRUE~!!!!!!
So I hear unteaching of bad doctrine, but what are you teaching. Your message is very unclear and have no direction.