My lowest points were purging in the airplane toilet, a bucket in my bedroom, a small toilet on a coach bus while travelling by road and finally, being so physically and mentally exhausted I was falling asleep with food in my mouth and in my hands and then stumbling to the toilet in a semi-daze then almost falling asleep while purging and crying because I was so tired I couldn’t bring myself to get it all out and I was so unbearably stressed. I’ve also done everything you’ve described in this video. It’s so sad to think of how much unnecessary money I painfully purged into the toilet. I was also severely alcoholic for all of 2020 because it would help me forget and feel happy. I was very depressed and very very thin. I think bulimics tend to have addictive personalities, and use food to avoid certain areas of their life or feelings. But the difference between binge eaters and bulimics is we also have a fear of weight gain. Thankyou so much. So, so much. Your honesty is truly relieving. This is my third real shot at recovery. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight and I slipped up once 3 times in 4 weeks. I’m tired of trying to lose weight thinking it will help me meet a man and find love, then just being miserable, lonely AND hungry/broke. I’d rather be single and healthy at the very least since love just isn’t in my deck of cards (very painful to accept). Please enjoy your life, enjoy your food, enjoy your body - we all die one day and we don’t take our pretty thin bodies with us. You’re clearly a very very smart well spoken lady with a beautiful voice and hair(!). I FEEL you. I FELT every word you said. Please let us both take care of ourselves and try again.
Dear Charlie, thank you you for being so honest, it is rare to find someone being so open and vulnerable. As someone who struggles with both anorexia and bulimia myself since almost 20 years your words and your presence move me so much. I can relate to everything you said. I really appreciate you, you have come so far already! Sending lots of love and strength to you ♥️
Thank you! And you are welcome!! It helps me to share in this way. Our struggles should unite humanity, not make us feel alienated!! Sending strength back to you too xxxxx
You are strong and I completely understand you. Anyone who says that has recovered they’re lying.. bulimia is always there and can never go away completely 😔
Hey! Thank you for the comment and I'm happy you found my videos too so that you could feel (hopefully) less alone. I don't know if you are right about that though. I do know a few people (and know OF many more) who say that they completely healed from Bulimia, and have gone many, many years without thoughts of purging. It's not been my experience or my reality, but I do like to believe that for some (possibly all of us), it is possible :)
I don't know what stage you're at now and i plead that you are doing well and feeling well. I resonate with you so much :( I went into recovery in 2020 February, experienced all this fluid retention, swollen glands, tight legs, just overall puff, i'd say it did subside significantly between the months of january 2021 and july 2021, very slowly. I relapsed in September 2021, thinking ok i will purge but i will not binge, and now I'm this fair and its just full blown binge-purge again, but worse i would say because im living alone and have a ensuite so i don't need to consider anyone when im purging. Thank you for sharing you honesty, i am such an anxious person, always have been and probably always will be. I hate being bored or unproductive and to fill this void i binge and purge, I'm also a full time student nurse and it's just so so so difficult to balance everything, impossible really. I want to get better but i don't want to have to go through getting better:( But everyday im like today is the day. Then its not. I think you are a wonderful wonderful human Charly, it's amazing to hear you speak and know im not alone. We will beat this and we are enough. I'm sorry if your doing well and this comment is triggering but just remember, this eating disorder has never helped me or you and it never will. It's a lonely, comfortable, uncomfortable, anxiety provoking and a liar:(
Thank you so much for your words! I'm so glad that my videos helped you in some way :) I am doing better now than I was a few months ago when I made this video, but still not perfect! Sending you strength to fight through this awful awful addiction
hi Charly, I'm really happy to see you back, sending you lots of support and have you in my thoughts. your videos were kind of the last ones I watched on ytb about EDs back some time ago and I am now for the first time (in many years of EDs) in my 8th mounth without binging and purging or other anorexia/orthorexia behaviours I used to have on an everyday basis. as experience has shown me, I know I can never be sure when or if I will relapse again but for now, I am happy with my progress and have started seeing a therapist again precisely last week because I feel I will be challenged again very soon with many changes coming. as you just uploaded again in quite a while I thought maybe a little comment would cheer you up a bit and I know it helps sometimes to know how other people are doing regarding their journey, hope it's the case even from a complete stranger haha. thank you for your honesty and wish you all the best, you've made such big steps as you said yourself, and what you share here is so valuable, especially everything about the shame and the way this illness/addiction makes one feel so desgusting and often just anihilates one's self-esteem. really appreciate the way you put your personal experience into words around here. 💛
Thanks for your lovely comment Laure! It definitely made me smile knowing that you watched my videos!! And I am so proud of you for doing 8 months no purging! That's amazing! I think the most important thing for all of us is to know that we are not alone. Bulimia can be so isolating, which is an illusion, because my experiences with this channel, and speaking out amongst my friends and family, have taught me that it is so very common!
I can relate to everything you are saying and have done all these things too. Thank you for opening up and sharing. So brave.
Bless you, I send you strength and courage to continue on your path of healing. And thank you for the words of support and seeing me! Xxxxxx
My lowest points were purging in the airplane toilet, a bucket in my bedroom, a small toilet on a coach bus while travelling by road and finally, being so physically and mentally exhausted I was falling asleep with food in my mouth and in my hands and then stumbling to the toilet in a semi-daze then almost falling asleep while purging and crying because I was so tired I couldn’t bring myself to get it all out and I was so unbearably stressed.
I’ve also done everything you’ve described in this video. It’s so sad to think of how much unnecessary money I painfully purged into the toilet.
I was also severely alcoholic for all of 2020 because it would help me forget and feel happy. I was very depressed and very very thin.
I think bulimics tend to have addictive personalities, and use food to avoid certain areas of their life or feelings. But the difference between binge eaters and bulimics is we also have a fear of weight gain.
Thankyou so much. So, so much. Your honesty is truly relieving. This is my third real shot at recovery. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight and I slipped up once 3 times in 4 weeks.
I’m tired of trying to lose weight thinking it will help me meet a man and find love, then just being miserable, lonely AND hungry/broke. I’d rather be single and healthy at the very least since love just isn’t in my deck of cards (very painful to accept).
Please enjoy your life, enjoy your food, enjoy your body - we all die one day and we don’t take our pretty thin bodies with us. You’re clearly a very very smart well spoken lady with a beautiful voice and hair(!). I FEEL you. I FELT every word you said. Please let us both take care of ourselves and try again.
Thanks Alia! I really appreciate your words :) I believe in you! We can do this.
You seem so sweet! You came up in my recommended…you’re a beautiful human! Inside and out! Never stop trying. I believe in you! 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️ Subbed 😊🤟🏻💗
Thank you so much xxxx
Dear Charlie, thank you you for being so honest, it is rare to find someone being so open and vulnerable. As someone who struggles with both anorexia and bulimia myself since almost 20 years your words and your presence move me so much. I can relate to everything you said. I really appreciate you, you have come so far already! Sending lots of love and strength to you ♥️
Thank you! And you are welcome!! It helps me to share in this way. Our struggles should unite humanity, not make us feel alienated!! Sending strength back to you too xxxxx
I am so so glad i have found this channel
You are strong and I completely understand you. Anyone who says that has recovered they’re lying.. bulimia is always there and can never go away completely 😔
Hey! Thank you for the comment and I'm happy you found my videos too so that you could feel (hopefully) less alone. I don't know if you are right about that though. I do know a few people (and know OF many more) who say that they completely healed from Bulimia, and have gone many, many years without thoughts of purging. It's not been my experience or my reality, but I do like to believe that for some (possibly all of us), it is possible :)
Same sis. I’m struggling bad. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone and good luck in your joirsny❤
I don't know what stage you're at now and i plead that you are doing well and feeling well. I resonate with you so much :( I went into recovery in 2020 February, experienced all this fluid retention, swollen glands, tight legs, just overall puff, i'd say it did subside significantly between the months of january 2021 and july 2021, very slowly. I relapsed in September 2021, thinking ok i will purge but i will not binge, and now I'm this fair and its just full blown binge-purge again, but worse i would say because im living alone and have a ensuite so i don't need to consider anyone when im purging.
Thank you for sharing you honesty, i am such an anxious person, always have been and probably always will be. I hate being bored or unproductive and to fill this void i binge and purge, I'm also a full time student nurse and it's just so so so difficult to balance everything, impossible really.
I want to get better but i don't want to have to go through getting better:( But everyday im like today is the day. Then its not. I think you are a wonderful wonderful human Charly, it's amazing to hear you speak and know im not alone. We will beat this and we are enough.
I'm sorry if your doing well and this comment is triggering but just remember, this eating disorder has never helped me or you and it never will. It's a lonely, comfortable, uncomfortable, anxiety provoking and a liar:(
Thank you so much for your words! I'm so glad that my videos helped you in some way :) I am doing better now than I was a few months ago when I made this video, but still not perfect! Sending you strength to fight through this awful awful addiction
Thank you so much for posting these ❤
Thank you for the searing honesty.
// any other addictions you'd like to discuss //
thank you for sharing. You beat this one, you CAN do it again. Sending strenght
Thank you! Sending it right back xoxoxox
Hello i hope you are ok. I just found your channel ❤
hi Charly, I'm really happy to see you back, sending you lots of support and have you in my thoughts. your videos were kind of the last ones I watched on ytb about EDs back some time ago and I am now for the first time (in many years of EDs) in my 8th mounth without binging and purging or other anorexia/orthorexia behaviours I used to have on an everyday basis.
as experience has shown me, I know I can never be sure when or if I will relapse again but for now, I am happy with my progress and have started seeing a therapist again precisely last week because I feel I will be challenged again very soon with many changes coming.
as you just uploaded again in quite a while I thought maybe a little comment would cheer you up a bit and I know it helps sometimes to know how other people are doing regarding their journey, hope it's the case even from a complete stranger haha. thank you for your honesty and wish you all the best, you've made such big steps as you said yourself, and what you share here is so valuable, especially everything about the shame and the way this illness/addiction makes one feel so desgusting and often just anihilates one's self-esteem. really appreciate the way you put your personal experience into words around here. 💛
Thanks for your lovely comment Laure! It definitely made me smile knowing that you watched my videos!! And I am so proud of you for doing 8 months no purging! That's amazing! I think the most important thing for all of us is to know that we are not alone. Bulimia can be so isolating, which is an illusion, because my experiences with this channel, and speaking out amongst my friends and family, have taught me that it is so very common!
I just tried to join your Facebook group
Sorry it’s disused for a long time now :(