I was a hoarder since 2006, level 4. My trigger was living with a very violent, abusive mother. Since 2015, I tried a million times to declutter. only with weekly therapy and CBT in 2021 to 2022 that I FINALLY overcome my hoarding. It was a painful long process. You really want to want this. And declutter YOU have to physically do it item by item, day by day. Now I have rules for myself, one item in and one item must be out. AND most hoarders get their items dirt cheap or for free. So my other rule is NO SECONDHAND shopping is allowed. I only buy things new. And finally, hoarders tend to spend all their money on things. So everytime I want to buy something, I do a stocktake. Then I check how much I need to spend on the item. I make it harder for myself to acquire a new thing. No credit card. If an item I want costs $165. I literally save $1,650 + $165. By the time I hit my goal, I no longer desired to get the item.
@Tjcp292 it's hard for love ones to live with hoarders. My beautiful husband put up with this for 15 years. I did a lot of reading and research on hoarding, and I let him know my 'triggers'. It's harder for men to 'open up' and talk it through, so I can see you feel frustrated, sad, anger, stress all at once with stuff all around you. My only advice is to choose one room in your house and put a limit on that room. My husband did this with our kitchen and bedroom. NO new things/furniture allowed!!! I was annoyed at first, later love him for this. Make that room YOUR space. Somewhere you can go when you are stressed seeing his stuff. As for recovery, I learned that it's really really difficult to recover from hoarding and therapy, using CBT, managing stress/depression/anxiety (i do take meds) is the only way to break through. It's now 2024, and I have decluttered so much that my husband now tells me off for throwing things out without his consult.
My Mom was a hoarder and a "shop-oholic." She could sniff-out a bargain where you'd never think to find one, but, there were plenty of times it was something she'd never use. As I was going through the stuff when Dad & I were moving (Mom died almost 2 years ago), I was trying to find certain items & I found boxes and BOXES of various holiday items we never used. I even see some of Mom's traits in myself. I struggled to leave behind a lot of items & 3/4 of the stuff we took is mine, so I'm still fighting it in me (at least I hate shopping, right? 😆).
I hear you! It's so frustrating & heartbreaking trying to help a hoarder especially a loved one 😓 I'm separated from my spouse because of his hoarding. God Bless you on your journey 🙏
Awesome! Great information. Thank you! Background music is absolutely unnecessary and distracting and frustrating and annoying. I hope I can finish the video because I’m learning a lot from your facts.
My Mother and half-sister are out of ccntrol hoarders. They have 11 storage units completely filled. A mobile home completely full. And my Mother's home is so full as to be unlivable. She can't even get from one room to another without climbing over junk. Her plumbing is no longer functional. The house is full of hundreds of mice. They will noty let anyone in the house. Ihaven't been inside since 1999. I hoped to be of help when I moved back here in 2010. No such luck. My Mom is 85 and legally blind, but wants no one in her house.
Yes and tomorrow never comes. Since the pandemic I had to let my adult children move back in along with my grandchild a year later my one daughter and granchild moved out to a new placd that people had moved out of and had not got back to get there things out . So my daughter cant move her thibgs in from my house to her her place. So all her thing are in the extra room where I could put my things to store. But mine are in another room .Ill be glad when everyone gets on there feet again and takes ownership of thier responsibility.
I pray that God will give her sight back and set her free . She can’t take stuff with her only her salvation soul matters now . I’m sorry what you have gone through but I pray you will live a free happy life .
Well it’s dangerous if she’s got mice. It’s been almost a year is she still alive? The only thing you’ll be able to do is just burn the whole house down and sell the land.
"...Notoriously hard to treat." Just as I suspected. Things get worse and worse. I should call an end to my marriage sooner rather than later - life is too short for lost causes. Other well-meaning sites suggest, Just be patient! He buys and buys. All the boxes the stuff came in have to be kept too. It is all HIS stuff, so I can't touch it. The walls are closing in on me.
Get out. My mom was a hoarder. No matter what… she would not let anything leave. If you tried to throw the junk away, she’d go through each trash bag full. Leave
My husband is a hoarder. I don’t want to divorce him. I’ve started mentioning that when we sell our house (empty nesters now) we could each get our own place. He doesn’t say no…
It's like somebody that walked around smelling like s*** all the time. Imagine how mad you would get if you were their spouse. They just refused to take a shower or a bath and their stench is so putrid and unbearable and embarrassing. The problem is so easy to solve yet yes they are so stupid oh stupid that they are unable to ever solve this problem. Just stay away from those people.
Well I agree with you but these people are not stupid. They’re sick. And there’s something deep inside eating away at them and they just can’t let go of anything. but it’s so much worse than just that. Usually these people have trash mixed in with all the clutter and rodents and insects carrying disease. It really is a severe mental illness. I would say stay far away from them.
If it was easy to solve it wouldn't be a problem. Stupidity has nothing to do with being able to reverse a mental illness. It can happen to anyone. And the problem can be solved with the right treatment. Stupid is watching information about something but learning nothing, then making a stupid comment.
People can keep their space how they like. I have a hard time thinking that some one actually wants things messy. There probably is some type of thought block of some sort.... I get the whole wanting to be in comfort and having supplies.. but I don't think the keeping of garbage n clutter is actually on purpose. I think I have some kind of clothing closet block then because I will see an item of my closet n think oh that's so cute or that's still good I may not have worn it in awhile.. But I still like it. I think there is a difference between a collection and hoarding .. I might be a little bit on the keeper side ...yep. a lil keeper.
the difference is how much the stuff is interfering with living your life. but you are here watching this for a reason. Watch Randy Frost lectures, they are wonderful.
Oh come now. Most hoarders would never know if you threw out a few of their "precious" items because its usually buried and rotting. EVERYONE has had some trauma or lost a loved one if they lived long enough. They're selfish people, forcing their families and pets to live in squalor. They'll choose their junk over everyone else, if forced to choose. . We molly coddle these people too much.
I wouldn't call a pad or an animal unsanitary cats are cleaner than we are in a dog's mouth is actually cleaner than a human's mouth so you know I'm not criticizing I'm just saying let's be real about his that's actually a fact and you know they could say animal pet store properly kept clean you know taking care of cuz if you take care of your animal do their weakest cleaner cleaner than the person and animals let's also add animals don't hoard you won't find a cat's hoarded or something it's people who have that problem the animals had the victims of the person hoarding it's I have a neighbor who Hoards and over across the way and she won't even let anyone in her home and I don't know if it's true hoarding or just unsanitary I can't tell the difference but she does have a lot of uncared-for animals and that's it lightens night-and-day difference between animals were properly cared for
I find it to be one of the most misunderstood disorders.
I was a hoarder since 2006, level 4. My trigger was living with a very violent, abusive mother. Since 2015, I tried a million times to declutter. only with weekly therapy and CBT in 2021 to 2022 that I FINALLY overcome my hoarding. It was a painful long process. You really want to want this. And declutter YOU have to physically do it item by item, day by day. Now I have rules for myself, one item in and one item must be out. AND most hoarders get their items dirt cheap or for free. So my other rule is NO SECONDHAND shopping is allowed. I only buy things new. And finally, hoarders tend to spend all their money on things. So everytime I want to buy something, I do a stocktake. Then I check how much I need to spend on the item. I make it harder for myself to acquire a new thing. No credit card. If an item I want costs $165. I literally save $1,650 + $165. By the time I hit my goal, I no longer desired to get the item.
I’m so happy for you. My husband is a hoarder and in denial. I’m so glad to hear that you’ve found your way through. 💕
@Tjcp292 it's hard for love ones to live with hoarders. My beautiful husband put up with this for 15 years. I did a lot of reading and research on hoarding, and I let him know my 'triggers'. It's harder for men to 'open up' and talk it through, so I can see you feel frustrated, sad, anger, stress all at once with stuff all around you. My only advice is to choose one room in your house and put a limit on that room. My husband did this with our kitchen and bedroom. NO new things/furniture allowed!!! I was annoyed at first, later love him for this. Make that room YOUR space. Somewhere you can go when you are stressed seeing his stuff. As for recovery, I learned that it's really really difficult to recover from hoarding and therapy, using CBT, managing stress/depression/anxiety (i do take meds) is the only way to break through. It's now 2024, and I have decluttered so much that my husband now tells me off for throwing things out without his consult.
@@chowfurnowmeow thank you so much for your kind reply. I’m so glad you’re succeeding in your healing. Bless you.
That book on hoarding sure sounds interesting. I’ll take 10.
I tried reading it and I just couldn't, it was a painful experience.
😆
😂😂😂😂 is it tongue in cheek
My Mom was a hoarder and a "shop-oholic." She could sniff-out a bargain where you'd never think to find one, but, there were plenty of times it was something she'd never use. As I was going through the stuff when Dad & I were moving (Mom died almost 2 years ago), I was trying to find certain items & I found boxes and BOXES of various holiday items we never used. I even see some of Mom's traits in myself. I struggled to leave behind a lot of items & 3/4 of the stuff we took is mine, so I'm still fighting it in me (at least I hate shopping, right? 😆).
The Nutcracker song in tne background... 😮
So much of this rings true. Im in the process of divorcing a hoarder and taking control of my own space.
I hear you! It's so frustrating & heartbreaking trying to help a hoarder especially a loved one 😓 I'm separated from my spouse because of his hoarding. God Bless you on your journey 🙏
Awesome! Great information. Thank you! Background music is absolutely unnecessary and distracting and frustrating and annoying. I hope I can finish the video because I’m learning a lot from your facts.
I'm not a hoarder. I live with CHAOS. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome! 😅
Spot on!
There’s more to this …on a spiritual level too
What is that ? I think ITS relate to me
Insecure attachment theory
My Mother and half-sister are out of ccntrol hoarders. They have 11 storage units completely filled. A mobile home completely full. And my Mother's home is so full as to be unlivable. She can't even get from one room to another without climbing over junk. Her plumbing is no longer functional. The house is full of hundreds of mice. They will noty let anyone in the house. Ihaven't been inside since 1999. I hoped to be of help when I moved back here in 2010. No such luck. My Mom is 85 and legally blind, but wants no one in her house.
I know exactly how your mother feels. I am also a hoarder. I have plans to clean up my house tomorrow.
Yes and tomorrow never comes. Since the pandemic I had to let my adult children move back in along with my grandchild a year later my one daughter and granchild moved out to a new placd that people had moved out of and had not got back to get there things out . So my daughter cant move her thibgs in from my house to her her place. So all her thing are in the extra room where I could put my things to store. But mine are in another room .Ill be glad when everyone gets on there feet again and takes ownership of thier responsibility.
I pray that God will give her sight back and set her free . She can’t take stuff with her only her salvation soul matters now . I’m sorry what you have gone through but I pray you will live a free happy life .
Well it’s dangerous if she’s got mice. It’s been almost a year is she still alive? The only thing you’ll be able to do is just burn the whole house down and sell the land.
@@garybregel4606 Well it’s been five years. If youre like my cousin and his wife, they mess it up again even a week after they “clean” it.
What is the purpose of the music!!!! It’s very annoying!
Agreed. It sounds like the tune hoarding Santa plays when he retrieves old presents back up the chimney.
Weird, I hardly noticed the music!
Excellent video. I work in mental health and some of this information is new to me. Thanks!
wonderful video!! thank you
"...Notoriously hard to treat." Just as I suspected. Things get worse and worse. I should call an end to my marriage sooner rather than later - life is too short for lost causes. Other well-meaning sites suggest, Just be patient! He buys and buys. All the boxes the stuff came in have to be kept too. It is all HIS stuff, so I can't touch it. The walls are closing in on me.
Get out. My mom was a hoarder. No matter what… she would not let anything leave. If you tried to throw the junk away, she’d go through each trash bag full. Leave
I am dealing with two hoarders. They can’t be helped, only brute force could get rid of the piles of junk.
My husband is a hoarder. I don’t want to divorce him. I’ve started mentioning that when we sell our house (empty nesters now) we could each get our own place. He doesn’t say no…
My husband has to put something in every corner of the house. Every space has to be filled in.
Good luck with that.
Very nice presentation!
Hoarders are also; inconsiderate, selfish and often narcissistic.
I know of at least 11 hoarders of varying degrees.
It's like somebody that walked around smelling like s*** all the time. Imagine how mad you would get if you were their spouse. They just refused to take a shower or a bath and their stench is so putrid and unbearable and embarrassing. The problem is so easy to solve yet yes they are so stupid oh stupid that they are unable to ever solve this problem. Just stay away from those people.
Well I agree with you but these people are not stupid. They’re sick. And there’s something deep inside eating away at them and they just can’t let go of anything. but it’s so much worse than just that. Usually these people have trash mixed in with all the clutter and rodents and insects carrying disease. It really is a severe mental illness. I would say stay far away from them.
If it was easy to solve it wouldn't be a problem. Stupidity has nothing to do with being able to reverse a mental illness. It can happen to anyone. And the problem can be solved with the right treatment.
Stupid is watching information about something but learning nothing, then making a stupid comment.
People can keep their space how they like. I have a hard time thinking that some one actually wants things messy.
There probably is some type of thought block of some sort.... I get the whole wanting to be in comfort and having supplies.. but I don't think the keeping of garbage n clutter is actually on purpose.
I think I have some kind of clothing closet block then because I will see an item of my closet n think oh that's so cute or that's still good
I may not have worn it in awhile..
But I still like it. I think there is a difference between a collection and hoarding .. I might be a little bit on the keeper side ...yep. a lil keeper.
the difference is how much the stuff is interfering with living your life. but you are here watching this for a reason. Watch Randy Frost lectures, they are wonderful.
Look up narcissism and hoarding.
This isn't discussed enough!
Hit some Home-Truths there ...
Oh come now. Most hoarders would never know if you threw out a few of their "precious" items because its usually buried and rotting. EVERYONE has had some trauma or lost a loved one if they lived long enough. They're selfish people, forcing their families and pets to live in squalor. They'll choose their junk over everyone else, if forced to choose. . We molly coddle these people too much.
I wouldn't call a pad or an animal unsanitary cats are cleaner than we are in a dog's mouth is actually cleaner than a human's mouth so you know I'm not criticizing I'm just saying let's be real about his that's actually a fact and you know they could say animal pet store properly kept clean you know taking care of cuz if you take care of your animal do their weakest cleaner cleaner than the person and animals let's also add animals don't hoard you won't find a cat's hoarded or something it's people who have that problem the animals had the victims of the person hoarding it's I have a neighbor who Hoards and over across the way and she won't even let anyone in her home and I don't know if it's true hoarding or just unsanitary I can't tell the difference but she does have a lot of uncared-for animals and that's it lightens night-and-day difference between animals were properly cared for
It is not the animals, it is the animal pee and shit everywhere.