Ep 434 - Razzle Dazzle (feat. Bert Kreischer)

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  • Опубликовано: 19 янв 2025

Комментарии • 3,5 тыс.

  • @mattandshanessecretpodcast9138
    @mattandshanessecretpodcast9138  Год назад +77

    Go See Shane Live @ www.shanemgillis.com/live
    Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates/
    Support Bert @ bertbertbert.com/
    and watch his NEW special on Netflix Razzle Dazzle

    • @biggrocc19
      @biggrocc19 Год назад +20

      Bert has hot dog water in his veins.

    • @FartCoffin
      @FartCoffin Год назад +34

      Can you guys shoot another episode without Bert

    • @Reebonics
      @Reebonics Год назад +7

      @@FartCoffin the paytch

    • @vtvafchildrensfund
      @vtvafchildrensfund Год назад +22

      Sorry fam, miss me with this one. Can’t handle that squealing wind bag. Catch ya’s on the Paytch

    • @jacobwall2837
      @jacobwall2837 Год назад +3

      @@Reebonics nope we're paying for bert this week too

  • @chadcansler2211
    @chadcansler2211 Год назад +1259

    Shane literally said “thanks for having us” at the end and I laughed out loud.

    • @AndrewIngram007
      @AndrewIngram007 Год назад +28

      Just saw that that's awesome 😂

    • @AMpufnstuf
      @AMpufnstuf Год назад +77

      twice, and bert still didnt flinch to tell them they're welcome. i had to jump to the end, loved every mssp till this one. ban burt please

    • @WesleySnipesNeck
      @WesleySnipesNeck Год назад +50

      Bert was actually decent on this episode, like he wasn’t overly laying into his character and was actually being genuine and lightweight chill lol

    • @AMpufnstuf
      @AMpufnstuf Год назад +72

      @@WesleySnipesNeck he couldn't be lightweight if you sent him to the moon

    • @WesleySnipesNeck
      @WesleySnipesNeck Год назад +15

      @@AMpufnstuf how about we leave the jokes to the pros bud. You think Shane or Matt’s gonna see your body shaming “gravity” joke and invite you on the pod? They gonna say hey this guy is astronomically funny his jokes are out of this world? Get real guy Bert is doing well for himself and his family

  • @austinhorton6350
    @austinhorton6350 Год назад +406

    “You sound like a lady that puts her kids in the lake” is the best one-liner so far this year. 10:15

    • @olsha004
      @olsha004 Год назад +14

      was NEEDED after he said it. I was like WHAT. THE.... *he says the line* FUCKING THANK YOU

    • @Bond-gz6vg
      @Bond-gz6vg Год назад

      Pure gold

    • @MisterRawgers
      @MisterRawgers Год назад +6

      @@olsha004 if Bert has survived this long then it makes me much less worried for myself, although something tells me Bert’s crazy ass really is going to live forever 😂

    • @AndrewLovesADTR
      @AndrewLovesADTR Год назад

      Came to the comments for this.

    • @chubbysummers69
      @chubbysummers69 Год назад +1

      I dunno Matt’s sword and the stone line was pretty damn funny too

  • @takodatcg2528
    @takodatcg2528 Год назад +541

    Bert “this exact thing happened to me but better” Kreisher

  • @GrandDP44
    @GrandDP44 Год назад +1313

    The first 2 minutes when Matt and Shane are talking to each other, Bert is looking around like a helpless dog waiting for attention.

    • @musicwelikemang
      @musicwelikemang Год назад +118

      It was the best 2 minutes of the cast.

    • @LBzarro
      @LBzarro Год назад +42

      Bert is my nigga

    • @imemberberry
      @imemberberry Год назад +12

      Dawg*

    • @terrybates9874
      @terrybates9874 Год назад +7

      Wagging his foot

    • @unacceptablemooshmeat2213
      @unacceptablemooshmeat2213 Год назад

      And then he tells a dumbass story about his “hair dresser” and how he cries stfu bert. Good thing the dawgs can make anything funny.

  • @daltonharper7614
    @daltonharper7614 Год назад +485

    Bert's memory is so good he can remember shit thats never even happened....

  • @supafun33
    @supafun33 Год назад +249

    Matt & Shane talk about something other than Bert for 30 seconds.
    Bert: "What if this is all a play for me?"

  • @s465681
    @s465681 Год назад +684

    The funniest thing about any Bert related content is reading all the mean things people say about Bert.

    • @InspectorButters4
      @InspectorButters4 Год назад +15

      It's like watching a Schaub YT video!! 🤣🤣🤣 So many people complain and talk crap but they're here for every episode...... just like Brendan's "haters" aka his fanboys lol

    • @isaacybarra4062
      @isaacybarra4062 Год назад +5

      BRO YES

    • @jahnrasta
      @jahnrasta Год назад +11

      I literally clicked on this video JUST to read the comments.

    • @liamwood4331
      @liamwood4331 11 месяцев назад +2

      dude i recently saw someone say he is the most racist comedian😂like you really have to hate him to think that cuz there is many worse😂😂😂

    • @joeblack1652
      @joeblack1652 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@liamwood4331 i'm pretty sure the whole 'Bert is the most racist comedian in the world" meme was started by Tom Segura as a joke to troll him.

  • @kungfujones1
    @kungfujones1 Год назад +434

    102 minutes of Bert is an ordeal I'm not sure I can endure.

    • @hubrisnxs2013
      @hubrisnxs2013 Год назад +5

      142 is worse

    • @Nythingelse
      @Nythingelse Год назад +11

      @@hubrisnxs2013 they are equal amounts of time

    • @brianlewis1372
      @brianlewis1372 Год назад +5

      Matt and Shane make it good though. It’s a fun episode.

    • @napoleonbonerfart278
      @napoleonbonerfart278 Год назад +10

      ​@@Nythingelse 102 & 142 are not equal amounts. 🤦🏼‍♂

    • @1990Co
      @1990Co Год назад +1

      @@Nythingelse 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @rmar2158
    @rmar2158 Год назад +116

    I love that Shane is one of the only people that calls out Bert on his stupid thoughts 😂

    • @enterpassword3313
      @enterpassword3313 Год назад +4

      And the thousands in the comments too

    • @MISCELLANEOUSGOON
      @MISCELLANEOUSGOON 8 месяцев назад +5

      Tom Segura’s whole career is just that and reacting to tik toks

  • @rem177
    @rem177 Год назад +1099

    30 seconds in and Bert takes over with a story. god damn it

    • @nimbus5526
      @nimbus5526 Год назад +33

      You read my mind lmao

    • @StoicDivinity
      @StoicDivinity Год назад +129

      I'm skipping this one. I'm only here to upvote the Brent hate comments. Rare L for the Dawgz

    • @kevinhallnoates5593
      @kevinhallnoates5593 Год назад +1

      @@StoicDivinitygo outside dude

    • @mattallan6338
      @mattallan6338 Год назад +56

      @@StoicDivinity the paytch is Bert free,thank gawd

    • @ShowMeYourTates
      @ShowMeYourTates Год назад +10

      @@mattallan6338 huge

  • @notjerod5076
    @notjerod5076 Год назад +187

    Bort: "I don't believe in death"
    Shanard: "well you better get to believing"

    • @imjustaguy8232
      @imjustaguy8232 Год назад +1

      Git

    • @notjerod5076
      @notjerod5076 Год назад

      @@imjustaguy8232 I apology

    • @Le_Petomane
      @Le_Petomane Год назад

      so crazy! remember when he said that! i do.

    • @notjerod5076
      @notjerod5076 Год назад

      @@Le_Petomane yes it was I who pointed it out, glorify me hating brot and loving big dawg shene

    • @WHDRWN
      @WHDRWN Год назад +2

      What are these reddit tier cute names? keep yourself safe

  • @travisboyd6272
    @travisboyd6272 Год назад +231

    Shane interrupting Burt 20 times about Mike Alstott is the greatest move of all time.

    • @jonathanmiranda9400
      @jonathanmiranda9400 Год назад +6

      1:09:06

    • @deeznutz1565
      @deeznutz1565 Год назад +10

      @@jonathanmiranda9400 i just want you to know your the mvp and i appreciate your existence

    • @troy16
      @troy16 Год назад

      thanks bud you the real mvp@@jonathanmiranda9400

  • @thegarge7476
    @thegarge7476 Год назад +3713

    Hopefully the dawgz can get a word in this cast

    • @Ayo1212
      @Ayo1212 Год назад +123

      Doubt it

    • @smokejensen_
      @smokejensen_ Год назад +195

      Watching Shane and Big Jay on Bert’s cooking show was the most awkward thing I’ve seen in a long time.

    • @MattH-wg7ou
      @MattH-wg7ou Год назад +54

      Thats what I immediately thought too. He's hopefully not gonna hog the whole conversation.

    • @ShowMeYourTates
      @ShowMeYourTates Год назад +10

      Was just thinking this

    • @heathen-spearo
      @heathen-spearo Год назад +200

      I just can't deal with bert, anymore

  • @natefish3989
    @natefish3989 Год назад +151

    God damn it guys. I come here to not be stressed out 😂 and then you bring the living fire alarm onto the pod lmao

  • @Mr.RichardLittle
    @Mr.RichardLittle Год назад +226

    Glad to hear Bert’s still telling stories I heard on rogan five years ago

    • @yehheapsmadaybut
      @yehheapsmadaybut Год назад +13

      This time with more squeals!

    • @dustingroom7440
      @dustingroom7440 Год назад +3

      Who TF cares 😂😂😂😂

    • @enterpassword3313
      @enterpassword3313 Год назад +2

      ​@@dustingroom7440all the people more deserving of his career, and all the people whos quality of entertainment is interrupted by the man

  • @thenelsonfamily6484
    @thenelsonfamily6484 Год назад +173

    I love seeing Matt with the higher profile characters, they need the deep spiritual healing that Matt provides

    • @WesleySnipesNeck
      @WesleySnipesNeck Год назад +2

      I love seeing the real dawgs not hating on Bert and diggin the fact that these celebrities are blessed to be in the presence of Matt lol.

    • @FBI-cl2cp
      @FBI-cl2cp Год назад +2

      God I love this community

  • @clipitplz
    @clipitplz Год назад +508

    “Have I ever told you the story” is how Bert follows up anything anyone says

    • @Mr.Meeseeks024
      @Mr.Meeseeks024 Год назад

      Sounds like you got a c- in most classes .

    • @AMpufnstuf
      @AMpufnstuf Год назад +16

      the story where he repeats himself fatly, and fakes not just a laugh but a wheeze and a cry every 3 minutes? the guy is probably a good human, but should stay away from comedy and pods

    • @TexAg.18
      @TexAg.18 Год назад +10

      Also asks questions for the sole purpose of answering them himself

    • @WesleySnipesNeck
      @WesleySnipesNeck Год назад +1

      @@AMpufnstuf ya dude for sure. He got to where he is by “staying away from comedy”. He’d punch you in the tummy something fierce pal. Find a thumb and sit on it.

    • @benardman2665
      @benardman2665 Год назад +4

      ​@@WesleySnipesNeck lol u mad

  • @KSSGHD
    @KSSGHD Год назад +98

    Gotta love Bert talking about how good his memory is, interrupting and then completely forgetting what he was trying to talk about

    • @yehheapsmadaybut
      @yehheapsmadaybut Год назад +7

      Easy to have a good memory when you're making the memories up on the spot

  • @TheProdigalCat
    @TheProdigalCat Год назад +227

    Bert is proof that growing up is a good thing. You can party into your 30s if you have your shit together, but no matter how rich you are, it's just alcoholism at 50.

  • @alondusk33
    @alondusk33 Год назад +1221

    I have no problem with Kreischer but if he cuts into my Matt Time for the week I’m gonna be pissed

    • @Triptoons
      @Triptoons Год назад +89

      Get ready to be pissed 🍻

    • @alondusk33
      @alondusk33 Год назад +13

      @@samhollinger5054 sweet. I’m behind on War Mode so that works

    • @AQUABERRYYERRi
      @AQUABERRYYERRi Год назад +31

      When you are halfway through your story “Hey let me tell you about this time where basically your story happened to me”

    • @DeeloGoodquest
      @DeeloGoodquest Год назад +1

      Amen to that!

    • @smokeyplays7183
      @smokeyplays7183 Год назад +2

      just watch stoner dadz

  • @lduff155
    @lduff155 Год назад +84

    It doesn't matter where I try to randomly go in this podcast, Bert is talking.

  • @sebastianberti7348
    @sebastianberti7348 Год назад +1745

    Bert’s laugh is a POW torture track

  • @cwells5137
    @cwells5137 Год назад +97

    “Did I tell you guys I was in Vietnam, became a ping pong champion and ran across American for 3 years…”

    • @cereal_thinker
      @cereal_thinker Год назад +5

      That's actually more believable than halg of Burds stories

    • @A6Legit
      @A6Legit Год назад +1

      Hes not steven seagal

  • @whyDoIHaveTo
    @whyDoIHaveTo Год назад +39

    Shane's facial expressions while bert talks is hilarious. You can tell shane wants to call him on his bs.

    • @k1xnt
      @k1xnt 10 месяцев назад

      "I fell off a water fall. Fifteen feet. Onto a rock. Landed on my back."
      "😐"

    • @HotMonkeyDik
      @HotMonkeyDik Месяц назад

      Looks like hes more entertained by his own thoughts than by burt xD

  • @osc31131
    @osc31131 Год назад +867

    Bert's humor attracts people with no internal monologue. Explains his giant audience

    • @thetruebatman4632
      @thetruebatman4632 Год назад +52

      Whoa. Think you’re on to something.

    • @QEsposito510
      @QEsposito510 Год назад +25

      Spot on 🎯

    • @42fifty
      @42fifty Год назад

      If you look at the types of people who comment on his Instagram and pages it confirms this. Middle age idiots

    • @vs-hk9kc
      @vs-hk9kc Год назад +42

      Yeah hes one of the lowest common denominator comedians. A kardashian of comedy.

    • @alexgard4968
      @alexgard4968 Год назад +25

      Bro I don't get it AT ALL

  • @ryantino9897
    @ryantino9897 Год назад +633

    Stoked to watch Bert’s secret podcast ft Matt and Shane

    • @degeneratechris
      @degeneratechris Год назад +18

      Bert's secret podcast ft Bret & Bart

    • @erikallen9141
      @erikallen9141 Год назад +8

      Bert and Bert's secret bertcast lol

    • @EVAASIVEOne
      @EVAASIVEOne Год назад +4

      Its better than his sitcom laugh track loaded special, so far

    • @JLBHabs
      @JLBHabs Год назад +1

      This comment got me the best! LOL

    • @charliedog29
      @charliedog29 Год назад

      Isn't that what a guest is? Yall are weirdos

  • @LikeahDocta
    @LikeahDocta Год назад +24

    I love how Bert's Of Mice and Men scenario isn't about being with his family, it's about drinking alcohol.

  • @biggrocc19
    @biggrocc19 Год назад +448

    Honestly the only MSSP that I considered skipping. But here I am, Dawgs.

    • @biggrocc19
      @biggrocc19 Год назад +27

      Lend me your strength and I shall also lift thee up during these trying 1 hour and 48 minutes, pals.

    • @resmarted
      @resmarted Год назад +17

      I'm skipping but gaining sustenance from the comments. Crossing fingers berd isnt on the paytch.

    • @biggrocc19
      @biggrocc19 Год назад +8

      ​@@mrpizza99ify I don't believe the correlation equals causation here brother. I'm waiting for an old testament episode, a classic, a Matt and Shane exclusive, to raise my spirits.

    • @thewind6047
      @thewind6047 Год назад +3

      @@resmarted it’s actually decent, Bert isn’t talking over them much

    • @fruitlandgrizzly
      @fruitlandgrizzly Год назад

      ​@@mrpizza99ify are you on every comment crying like a big crybaby? Need a diaper cry baby wahhhhhhh

  • @turk-money
    @turk-money Год назад +228

    The ultimate test of faith in our dawgs has arrived. Show strength for this one hour and forty two minutes my brothers.

    • @brendanalexandercorp4001
      @brendanalexandercorp4001 Год назад +20

      HOOOOOLD

    • @DOOM801.
      @DOOM801. Год назад +23

      I am not strong enough.
      I came to see the comments and saw exactly what I was afraid of, so I'm just gonna sit this one out.

    • @joshbrickley160
      @joshbrickley160 Год назад +3

      you do know the young bull constantly tours with bert right? shane loves this dude

    • @polybiusnymb6446
      @polybiusnymb6446 Год назад +11

      Once again, Bert uses his influence to leverage/force “friendships”.

    • @sixupsprite5501
      @sixupsprite5501 Год назад +11

      @@joshbrickley160 No, Shane loves opportunities. Pay closer attention.

  • @insomnialex7
    @insomnialex7 Год назад +7

    42:56 The whole volleyball shorts bit had me crying with laughter, oh my god lmao. "Compliments to the chef."

  • @sourdonkeyjuice
    @sourdonkeyjuice Год назад +186

    Stay zen young dogz. The shaman will lead the way through this treacherous time.

  • @johns1625
    @johns1625 Год назад +109

    Super stoked on the dawgs to hear Bart screech and pretend to laugh for 2 minutes at a time. Maybe next show he will take his shirt off and shout something. So funny.

    • @imemberberry
      @imemberberry Год назад +5

      I couldn't tell you were bring sarcastic until you made sure we all knew by being sarcastic one more time. So funny, John. Super stoked. See how annoying that is?
      What is happening to my dawgz? Lotta lady whining, here of all places.

    • @j.b.7133
      @j.b.7133 Год назад +4

      @@imemberberry His comment has 84 likes. so I think people enjoyed it. Hows yours doing?

    • @MrA71717
      @MrA71717 Год назад +3

      @@imemberberry Pipe down

    • @imemberberry
      @imemberberry Год назад

      @@j.b.7133 better than yours

    • @johns1625
      @johns1625 Год назад +1

      @@imemberberry Ok nerd

  • @bryanhetchler
    @bryanhetchler Год назад +15

    Bro I couldn’t last 3 minutes, it blows me away how big of a following Bart has. His laugh will be played in hell on a loop.

  • @kodiak5405
    @kodiak5405 Год назад +277

    Shane's chuckle when Bert immediately starts to tell a story

    • @PioneerCinema1
      @PioneerCinema1 Год назад +19

      Lol he knows

    • @Mr.Meeseeks024
      @Mr.Meeseeks024 Год назад +1

      It’s usually funny . Fuck I can’t tell which side you’re on.. is this a safe space ? Dawgz unite !

    • @OscarOffTheCuff
      @OscarOffTheCuff Год назад

      @@Mr.Meeseeks024 Bert sucks man.

    • @garycoleman1205
      @garycoleman1205 Год назад +4

      @@Mr.Meeseeks024 Hey settle down.

    • @yehheapsmadaybut
      @yehheapsmadaybut Год назад +3

      ​@@PioneerCinema1 he literally called Bert a narcissist on the recent Rogan podcast

  • @trendybistro
    @trendybistro Год назад +343

    I understand he brought you to the Super Bowl, but enough is enough already bros.

    • @MattH-wg7ou
      @MattH-wg7ou Год назад +2

      ​@@mrpizza99ify what? How you mean?

    • @bradensmith661
      @bradensmith661 Год назад

      @@MattH-wg7ou bert sucks

    • @nateauld
      @nateauld Год назад +28

      @@MattH-wg7ou People been liking Shane too long, they're itching to hate him now. Pendulum's gotta swing back, right?

    • @crimsoncomposure
      @crimsoncomposure Год назад

      Ooooohhh that's what the fuck this is?

    • @bigfatguy2788
      @bigfatguy2788 Год назад +16

      Berts like that rich friend that annoys everyone but he's so nice and spends money on you so you cant tell him to fuck off

  • @bwolfe9040
    @bwolfe9040 Год назад +48

    “Hitlers dad was a beekeeper” genuinely funny Bert moment.

  • @brimstone.7
    @brimstone.7 Год назад +101

    the hesitation i felt clicking this when i saw (Ft. Bert Kreischer) in the title

    • @YourBeastRoy
      @YourBeastRoy 4 месяца назад

      Crazy how douchie this comment is bub

  • @realnoahbanx
    @realnoahbanx Год назад +124

    The only episode I’ve ever hesitated starting but I’ll go deep for the dawgz 🙏

    • @RayRayMcAuliffe
      @RayRayMcAuliffe Год назад +2

      Same

    • @mobdevice
      @mobdevice Год назад +6

      I’m pleasantly surprised! It’s fashionable to hate Bert these days

    • @realnoahbanx
      @realnoahbanx Год назад +10

      @@mobdevice I wouldn’t say that, most of the time he doesn’t let anyone get a word in and that wheezing laugh is god awful. I don’t hate him but I can only take so much of him. Also depends on who he’s with

    • @charlest5604
      @charlest5604 Год назад +3

      Going tenis deep for the Dawgz

    • @johns9940
      @johns9940 Год назад +4

      Its not even bad. He was pretty chill this ep and Bert is funny. People just love to hate on him

  • @keeganpower6931
    @keeganpower6931 Год назад +26

    Feels like the first time I've seen Bert around real Dawgs. And nobody once complimented his specials or said anything he's done is funny

  • @shookya6976
    @shookya6976 Год назад +313

    Going into audacity and muting all of Berts audio, god is good

    • @biggrocc19
      @biggrocc19 Год назад +64

      I wish there was a Bert-free option on the menu today.....

    • @resmarted
      @resmarted Год назад +61

      please reupload bertless copy

    • @falcor200
      @falcor200 Год назад +66

      How's your 6 min long MSSP.

    • @iPenguinzz
      @iPenguinzz Год назад +9

      @@resmarted plz man

    • @hypno5690
      @hypno5690 Год назад

      Thats autistic

  • @taylorfontenot5008
    @taylorfontenot5008 Год назад +551

    I can handle Bert for about 17 seconds

    • @imemberberry
      @imemberberry Год назад +5

      Waaa waaa

    • @beatsbydare
      @beatsbydare Год назад +17

      @@imemberberrywicky wicky waaa

    • @RULERofCERTAINthings
      @RULERofCERTAINthings Год назад +13

      He's well behaved on this pod

    • @sailguns9332
      @sailguns9332 Год назад +10

      He’s not that bad 😂 you guys just keep writing the same comments from every other podcast so you can get likes

    • @imemberberry
      @imemberberry Год назад

      @@beatsbydare haa touché, dawg

  • @active_kahooter
    @active_kahooter Год назад +87

    Glad we could all come together as a community just to shit on Bert🙏

    • @JusCJay
      @JusCJay Год назад +1

      Deserved😅😂😊

  • @johnnydelrome
    @johnnydelrome Год назад +259

    I don’t need Burt’s flashiness and grandstanding, I just need the alpha sigma energy of the dogs

    • @yazazen
      @yazazen Год назад +12

      in this episode we have an alpha, a sigma, and a ligma

    • @SoyElta
      @SoyElta Год назад +2

      ​@@yazazen Matt is a Theta.

    • @westxranchin
      @westxranchin Год назад +3

      Or all of his virtue signaling to his liberal feminist, friends in LA. He acts like such a woman sometimes. I can’t stand it. Other times I love him and think he’s hilarious,

    • @chadgrov
      @chadgrov Год назад

      He’s a narcissist but he means well. However I know he’s aware of the fact he’s self absorbed and doesn’t seem to wanna change. It’s gonna alienate him a bit

    • @chadgrov
      @chadgrov Год назад +1

      @@SoyEltawhich ones that? I don’t know Latin. It’s for gays.

  • @primetimedurkheim2717
    @primetimedurkheim2717 Год назад +338

    I've never skipped a MSSP. I won't now. But damn Bert is a difficult listen.

    • @cereal_thinker
      @cereal_thinker Год назад +19

      Squeal squeal

    • @corymcdonald1369
      @corymcdonald1369 Год назад +10

      I waited a few hours before I started it and even now I'm pausing and playing over and over trying to get through it.

    • @n8shafe551
      @n8shafe551 Год назад +8

      So true, that laugh is actually hard to listen to on headphones. And then he tries to talk in the laugh voice, gonna be a no for me ,Bert.

    • @robertogarnica2034
      @robertogarnica2034 Год назад +5

      I like him but the laugh is rough

    • @sixupsprite5501
      @sixupsprite5501 Год назад +10

      Out of all of all the people in the last decade who have become well known, Bert has to be the least deserving, most unfunny person out of all of them. Even Brendan Shaub isn't as annoying as Bert.

  • @Griffeyjrgolden
    @Griffeyjrgolden Год назад +15

    When Shane was on Rogan recently and brought up how narcissistic Bert was in the nicest of ways, then describing him as a helpful guy made me laugh so hard.
    Shane can’t even deal with Bert, lol

    • @whisker.biscuit8149
      @whisker.biscuit8149 Год назад

      Most celebrities are manic and can only focus on their own interests. Bert is the epitome of this

  • @GarrettElliott7
    @GarrettElliott7 Год назад +269

    Fellas I ain't gonna listen to bert ramble for 100 minutes

  • @onewiththeragingwind6730
    @onewiththeragingwind6730 Год назад +628

    Why is Bart ruining our time together boys?

  • @jcs192
    @jcs192 Год назад +15

    Bert makes sitting on a couch look so comfortable.

  • @michaelmcshane6050
    @michaelmcshane6050 Год назад +95

    The level of delusional confidence Bert has is wild

  • @jonnyincomox
    @jonnyincomox Год назад +468

    God damnit, 30 seconds in and Bart's telling stories he literally tells every podcast, his brain is mush.

    • @blamayam
      @blamayam Год назад +57

      It's actually pickled lol. I'm not even a Bert hater and I recognize wetbrain when I see it.

    • @kyleglennon5336
      @kyleglennon5336 Год назад +3

      Time traveler’s wife

    • @Lebowski333
      @Lebowski333 Год назад +11

      Yeah I’m not big on him. Friendly enough though.

    • @colmas
      @colmas Год назад +9

      nah he's super smart now because of the steroids

    • @redacted5035
      @redacted5035 Год назад +3

      Goddamn it I hate Bort

  • @42fifty
    @42fifty Год назад +61

    I loved the ad break when Bert wasn’t on the couch!! Fresh air

  • @brendanevo4g
    @brendanevo4g Год назад +213

    Berto's team had that doctor tell him its testosterone, or he'd never inject that insulin

    • @bcvetkov8534
      @bcvetkov8534 Год назад +9

      😂😂😂😂😂
      BRUTAL BRO

    • @brendanevo4g
      @brendanevo4g Год назад +6

      @Bcvetkov 853 lolo we're havin fun guyz

    • @InspectorButters4
      @InspectorButters4 Год назад +3

      @@brendanevo4g hahahah that's prob the funniest (and most true) comment on the entire thread 🤣🤣🤣

    • @brendanevo4g
      @brendanevo4g Год назад +2

      @Inspector Butters buddy thats sweet of u means a lot haha i appreciate u all much love

    • @bcvetkov8534
      @bcvetkov8534 Год назад

      @@brendanevo4g
      Ik ik. I'm sure Bert would laugh so hard at that if he saw it.

  • @jonasthorvaldsen
    @jonasthorvaldsen Год назад +76

    Oh no…i hoped this day would never come. Stay strong brothers and sisters! We will get trough this, there is still hope.

  • @Super_Channel_O
    @Super_Channel_O Год назад +13

    Toddler haircut and fresh crocs, I’m here for it

  • @ethanneubauer2352
    @ethanneubauer2352 Год назад +182

    It’s like Bert’s mind is a Rolodex with the same 12 story’s

  • @DjangoAli
    @DjangoAli Год назад +164

    Matt is barely talking… lol I’ll catch y’all next week 🤣 Tom is the only one who can handle Bert

    • @juniperjennifer
      @juniperjennifer Год назад +10

      Handle? Bert is the feed Tom tosses to those pigeons they call fans.

    • @brendanschnabel188
      @brendanschnabel188 Год назад +2

      Long love matt

    • @shmegma4371
      @shmegma4371 Год назад

      Louis ck handled him pretty well. He even called his idea retarded

    • @Browithswag10
      @Browithswag10 Год назад +1

      3 words!! TOO MUCH XANAX

    • @WKRP187
      @WKRP187 Год назад

      ​@@HerkNewz69 Don't you have a guardrail to be wrapping your POS car around or something!?!?

  • @ad-archw1582
    @ad-archw1582 Год назад +13

    Fuck me dead, a man sees a new MSSP podcast and gets excited, then gets brutally heartbroken seeing the human tea kettle is the guest
    NEXT

  • @bl2125
    @bl2125 Год назад +100

    I would rather listen to Matt play the flute for 2 hours than Bert’s fake stories.

  • @CashDayYoung
    @CashDayYoung Год назад +666

    Thanks guys can’t wait for Brendan Schaub next week.

  • @sethcrawford5156
    @sethcrawford5156 Год назад +12

    I love that I can go to the comments and see all my thoughts on Bert written out

  • @squeakinjoe
    @squeakinjoe Год назад +39

    Wow what a great podcast I listened to 5 minutes and I said wow what a great podcast 2 hours straight of Burt wheezing and talking about himself

  • @P_steez
    @P_steez Год назад +87

    36:10 I love how Shane sneakily points at Bert while him and Matt laugh at him

    • @nyjets2428
      @nyjets2428 Год назад +8

      He can’t keep up

    • @dominikmaral4787
      @dominikmaral4787 Год назад +1

      team clip that

    • @adrod
      @adrod Год назад +1

      Incredible, Bert has no idea

    • @P_steez
      @P_steez Год назад +1

      @@adrod I honestly was surprised he kept up as well as he did

  • @Noname-ri9yk
    @Noname-ri9yk 4 месяца назад +3

    It feels like Bert made up the hairdresser story and Shane knew

  • @CharlieGeorge_
    @CharlieGeorge_ Год назад +222

    Good of matt and shane to let their drunk uncle hop on the cast

  • @idontcare9752
    @idontcare9752 Год назад +133

    We need a fully Bert free edit of this cast

  • @dylangonzalez1688
    @dylangonzalez1688 Год назад +6

    Gardeni with “the machine” comment was incredible

  • @deepfakedustin
    @deepfakedustin Год назад +375

    I’m relieved all the dawgs feel the same way I do about Bert 😅😂

    • @jeremymann6069
      @jeremymann6069 Год назад +2

      Who are they? But was def relieved to see comments thinking the same

    • @philipcorcoran2996
      @philipcorcoran2996 Год назад +1

      Trads love him

    • @sambelyea678
      @sambelyea678 Год назад +21

      i’m just here to watch everything go over Bert’s head. Half hour in and i can tell Matt does not like Bert lmao

    • @z_ttheisen7656
      @z_ttheisen7656 Год назад +15

      Behind closed doors there’s zero chance these guys actually find Bert funny. If you ever listen to Big Jay talk about him, the brown nosing is vomit inducing. It’s just a way to help escalate their careers. He was literally buying friends with the whole Super Bowl charade.

    • @samtavakoli6682
      @samtavakoli6682 Год назад +2

      ​@@emjay3066 I know someone and I seriously had to question our friendship. Imagine this.... He also loves Chris Delhia and Schuab, and he has a 16 year old daughter.....

  • @jubbyquarkret4262
    @jubbyquarkret4262 Год назад +150

    Glad to see they're using their platform to help struggling "comedians"

    • @CJfromMEXICO
      @CJfromMEXICO Год назад +2

      No they’re doing it with GOOD comedians

    • @yehheapsmadaybut
      @yehheapsmadaybut Год назад

      ​@@CJfromMEXICO there's nothing good about Bert's comedy. He has no talent outside of marketing himself

    • @LiteralApe
      @LiteralApe Год назад

      Their first guess was rich vos dude. Cmon man

    • @CJfromMEXICO
      @CJfromMEXICO Год назад

      @@yehheapsmadaybut good story teller in the beginning, he just has a big head about it now

  • @TheRealKoolaid
    @TheRealKoolaid Год назад +7

    Bro that Stone Cold impression from the Longest Yard was spot on 1:13:40 lmao

  • @OurBlackFriend
    @OurBlackFriend Год назад +84

    The true Dawgz will, like the Shaman teaches us, find the positive in any situation. I'm looking forward to the Machine squealing his way through this one.

  • @0ctoburr
    @0ctoburr Год назад +25

    Matt referenced a scene from Dune, and Bert compared it to Spaceballs. Big guests aren't always good guests, but joshing him for him memory loss, and the concerned "oh"s when he mentioned his fatty liver made it all worth it.

  • @Viktortheslickster
    @Viktortheslickster Год назад +65

    I love how you can say anything and burt will swear it happened to him last week

  • @lucasbarnhill3109
    @lucasbarnhill3109 Год назад +5

    my hatred for Bert knows no bounds

  • @trevorking634
    @trevorking634 Год назад +312

    Shane brings you here, Matt keeps you coming back

    • @ranettleton8806
      @ranettleton8806 Год назад +8

      So true, you can listen to shane on a million other podcast but the dawgs need to be here for matt

    • @briangallagher3106
      @briangallagher3106 Год назад +18

      For a long time if Shane wasn’t there I’d skip. What a treasure to go back and find Matt tearing it up by himself. Absolute legend.

    • @Hellaframes
      @Hellaframes Год назад +1

      the shaman rules 🤙🏾

    • @robin1541
      @robin1541 Год назад +6

      And Bert makes me skip this episode!

    • @jfw1991
      @jfw1991 Год назад +1

      Hearddat

  • @tylerbluhm8882
    @tylerbluhm8882 Год назад +170

    Only here to see if Bert can talk over two people more than Tom

  • @Malfypoolcreations
    @Malfypoolcreations 9 месяцев назад +1

    Oh man Shane. Great sneak in. “I’m gunna doit again “. That was good. 😂

  • @erikallen9141
    @erikallen9141 Год назад +41

    The most fun part of this episode was seeing Shane's reaction anytime Bert has an absolutely insane take. Fantastic episode.

  • @misinfluence
    @misinfluence Год назад +44

    Guess Matt and Shane didn’t feel like talking today

  • @danebrennand
    @danebrennand Год назад +15

    The moment at 36 minnies is priceless. Byrt has no idea, shit went right over his head.

    • @whisker.biscuit8149
      @whisker.biscuit8149 Год назад

      Because his team are either feds or just some ppl who dont give a crap about him, they just want to profit from him

  • @liammacgregor1546
    @liammacgregor1546 Год назад +70

    Bert's laugh and high pitched voice is like a grater on the ear drums

  • @wbbooth
    @wbbooth Год назад +180

    The only way to keep me from watching anything is to put Bert in it

    • @BRINGTHED00M
      @BRINGTHED00M Год назад +10

      Same. Absolutely not

    • @AaronX442
      @AaronX442 Год назад

      Whelp, you can thank Rogees. He blessed that fat unfunny turd, based on a fake Russian story. He's the original Brandum Schwab. And now we are stuck with him.

    • @Hellaframes
      @Hellaframes Год назад

      im gonna hate watch the fuck out of this

    • @fredrickmiller6534
      @fredrickmiller6534 Год назад +10

      ​@Matthew Rennehan it's taken me a full day to get 47 minutes in and I'm just hating everything he says the entire time. He is such a phony it's completely enraging.

  • @Staffros
    @Staffros Год назад +8

    The dawgz are so damn good they made bert almost watchable.

  • @jmedlin81
    @jmedlin81 Год назад +40

    I appreciate you two so much I'm going to endure even an entire Kreischer episode

  • @HughJassIRL
    @HughJassIRL Год назад +36

    How great is our god that the dawgs would bless us with a pod on this beautiful Wednesd-
    Oh my bad. Thought I was over at MSSP, not Bertcast. I’ll see myself out

    • @allthewhile5465
      @allthewhile5465 Год назад

      Take me with you bro!
      Brat is taking a shit on one of my favorite things!

    • @zackmarshall3060
      @zackmarshall3060 Год назад

      You would know if it was because all of Bert shits starts with ME ! And mssp.

  • @koltonbaader2373
    @koltonbaader2373 Год назад +1

    22:34 “Leave the gun, take the cannoli”

  • @JonMHarrell
    @JonMHarrell Год назад +95

    You can tell Shane told Matt, “just ask impressed or amazed at everything Bert says” Matt “reallyyyyy?”

  • @prabhsangha7616
    @prabhsangha7616 Год назад +22

    I tripped and broke my ankle running to the comments. They did not disappoint. I knew I wasn’t the only one that skips everything bert or Tom is involved in. They’re enthusiasm black holes like Andy from the office.

    • @Brassbushings6911
      @Brassbushings6911 Год назад

      And yet here you are. Posting a comment. Helping them in algorithm. Retard

  • @simonosornio7307
    @simonosornio7307 Год назад +2

    Sorry guys but this episode was 100 times better than all of the ones with Louie. This podcast was amazing!

  • @mnbvcxz109ify
    @mnbvcxz109ify Год назад +37

    That laugh is brutal.

  • @HangingGarden606
    @HangingGarden606 Год назад +5

    Ep 434. Razzle Dazzle (feat. Gay Liar)

  • @rymid9517
    @rymid9517 Год назад +36

    God bless the boys for carrying Burt this whole podcast

  • @PushupsNMushrooms
    @PushupsNMushrooms Год назад +87

    I felt bad at first thinking like Jesus christ here we go but then I checked the comments. Talk about synchronicity. Dawgz simply cannot be anything other than true to themselves and others.

    • @captainDL3
      @captainDL3 Год назад +9

      Tru dawg. Tru

    • @MZYY
      @MZYY Год назад +5

      This is why I love you dawgs. Synchronicity.

    • @Monkeymoo1122
      @Monkeymoo1122 Год назад +6

      Amen brother. We are united!!

  • @brandonholguin6895
    @brandonholguin6895 Год назад +10

    I left 2 bears 1 cave to get away from Bert. God dammit

  • @AQUABERRYYERRi
    @AQUABERRYYERRi Год назад +47

    Bert summed up: Before you finish your story, let me tell you mine about the same situation! Where there is inevitably a huge metaphorical mountain He has to climb, and the climax of his story is saying how he overcame his obstacle!

    • @A6Legit
      @A6Legit Год назад +2

      It was a literal mountain. or a cavern. Not sure

    • @MZYY
      @MZYY Год назад +5

      He has the conversational skills of a 7th grader and went into his 50's without realizing how to hold a conversation with people.

    • @AJohnSmith
      @AJohnSmith Год назад +1

      You forgot the wheezing laughter when he’s uncomfortable. Which is every second.

    • @AMpufnstuf
      @AMpufnstuf Год назад +1

      the only funny thing about bert is imagining how many people he pays to keep track of his dreams, give him back rubs and old people shoes, and someone likely has to help this man exercise

  • @hewasagudboy9079
    @hewasagudboy9079 Год назад +253

    No one in this world can talk more than Bert and never actually say anything.

    • @sixupsprite5501
      @sixupsprite5501 Год назад +16

      Bert is the comedic embodiment of that song "Friday" by Rebecca Black.

    • @Browithswag10
      @Browithswag10 Год назад +1

      Them xans give you way too much confidence for a fat alcoholic

    • @Mr87corey
      @Mr87corey Год назад +3

      eric weinstein can

    • @badtostada6123
      @badtostada6123 Год назад +5

      hell ya.. its cause bert doesnt believe in anything and stands for nothing... thats why we love shane and matt, they have principles and humility

    • @z_ttheisen7656
      @z_ttheisen7656 Год назад +2

      @@badtostada6123 on top of that they’re good at their jobs (being comedians)

  • @cliffordcrimson7124
    @cliffordcrimson7124 Год назад +38

    Bert acting like he hadnt heard of sleep paralysis and then pretending to have it was great.

  • @arthurmcdonald7373
    @arthurmcdonald7373 Год назад +5

    Howdy all. I just gotta say, I saw Matt at The Stress Factory in Bridgeport CT last night, and it was breathtaking. Been a Dawg since way back, still rocking that $1 patron. I always knew our boy was a killer on podcasts, but I had no idea he was so fucking polished as a stand up. I've seen some great shows, and Matt is amongst the very fucking best. Butterly killed too, but damn. So good.

  • @ZtCheezy
    @ZtCheezy Год назад +110

    Bert: *starts story everyone has heard multiple times"
    Shane: I know this story
    Bert: I'm done then, I'm done then
    Shane: they don't
    This is the second time I've heard it just this week 😭

    • @sernastyle
      @sernastyle Год назад +1

      But we do know them.

    • @Uber415
      @Uber415 Год назад

      Maybe you listen to too many podcasts? Go out and make some stories of your own... you whine about hearing the same story twice when you just binge people lives cause you don't have one...🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

    • @gagaface26
      @gagaface26 Год назад +6

      Matt’s relief and laughter at the fact that Shane cut in and shut the story down early was SO quickly replaced by a quick cough and existential stare of dread. Fucking amazing. It has the same vibe as hanging with someone that nobody wanted to be rude to and ignore or tell to stay home.

    • @kyw6779
      @kyw6779 Год назад +11

      I've never heard this story but all the Bert haters have...so all the Bert haters still watch him

    • @StoicDivinity
      @StoicDivinity Год назад +6

      @@kyw6779 you don't get paid to be riding Brent's hog that hard bro bro

  • @MrFichstar
    @MrFichstar Год назад +11

    Bert is the funniest, when he leaves a room. And doesn't come back.