I had the same implant as OP. It required local anesthesia to insert it and it required a local to have it removed. He wanted his own child so badly that he was willing to basically mutilate OP in order to get one. OP, don't try to convince yourself that this was a heat-of-the-moment lapse in judgement; he admitted that he STUDIED how to remove it. He waited for you to fall asleep, looked for and found a box cutter, and was counting on you to be so unconscious so that he could hack his way into your arm. This is NOT a man you want to keep even a mile near you, sunk cost be damned.
Yes. She could've bled to death if he messed up the removal! And what did he think would happen when she woke up with an injured arm? That she would just fling herself into his arms and want to get intimate? The man's a psycho.
@@hodgeelmwood8677 Not to mention the infection potential that comes from not sterilizing the surgical area. And how delicate a procedure can one perform with a box cutter? That's like trying to light a birthday candle with a military grade flamethrower; you'll hit the target AND everything else around it
The dude is an absolute either a sociopath or psychopath. I am absolutely baffled that people stay in relationships like this. I mean I know we're all young, but 27 is not that young. This is exactly why people divorce, they marry people they shouldn't. I know that she's the victim. I hope she's okay and can make some better choices in partners. The guy needs to go to jail.
Either he had a psychotic break or the person she fell in love with never existed in the first place. I think his parents not responding proves the second one.
@@myconfusedmerriment Ah, good point. Still, if it were someone in my family acting like this I'd immediately be taking him to a doctor. It's really easy for brain problems to lead to death or permanent injury very, very quickly.
That's what I was thinking. If those parents had any shred of decency, they would've at least apologized to OP and understood, but instead they just ignore. They're probably the "my son can do no wrong" types.
@KhaleesiReyna it could be them going silent to avoid picking sides or its basically them realizing they screwed up. Hoping it's the latter but even then, they are picking sides by being silent over this.
@@pippo17173 yeah, but this is one of those cases where not "choosing a side" IS choosing a side (and siding with the abuser). No matter how you slice it, they're aholes who raised a monster and now want to bury their heads in the sand while their spawn threatens a person's life and safety. Complete trash.
@@CarinaCoffee Nah she's just an idio†. In the update she flat out admits she "thought he didn't mean it" before she took the pills, and has no explanation for why she was going to stay after he'd tried to mutilate her. What kind of room temperature IQ having conkwocket hears a grown man say "I hate your son and I resent you both", then JUST GOES TO SLEEP GIVING HIM FULL, UNIMPEDED ACCESS TO YOUR SON?
She narrowly escaped by the looks of it, the foreshadowing when the dude called ops mother saying something might have happened to her and her son. Right out of the homicide handbook
100%. Honestly, I was mad at OP during most of the story. So many RED FLAGS that she let slide. This is why the cycle of abuse keeps happening. She almost got herself killed.....explaining AWAY red flag after Red flag. woman, please be smarter!!!! so many of you ppl let creeps rule over you.... and HURT your kids...... can't tell you how many kids are sexually abused...... so so so glad op got out. But I'm mad at her nativity and her view on love. I'm worried for that kid. please have more self-respect ppl. break the cycle of abuse!!!!!
Yeah, this one grabbed my attention also. Be very wary. He's already stated that he'd research heavily to get what he wants. Nothing more dangerous than a cold, calculating, intelligent psycho.
@@Victor_Graves and that trying to remove it would stupid and very obvious. He didn’t even try any form of pain relief regardless of how the strong the medication is most people can’t ignore their arm being stabbed
A man tells you your child makes him angry, he has no attachment to your child and demands you have a bio child for him. You immediately leave that as long as it's safe. You don't argue, you don't wait, you don't go to sleep. You and your child immediately get out.
Exactly. i can't believe she didn't just leave there and then: and when all this settles down she's going to need to ask her son if that psycho harmed him in any way.
She's a drama queen. She already has a child "from a previous relationship." At 25. Yeah, no, she needs help BIG TIME. Normal, balanced women don't have kids by 25. Her ex was always an abusive asshole, but she deluded herself and sold out her kid for fresh dick. We know that because her younger brother didn't like him. While I'm glad that she got away from the guy, if I were the mother, I would be looking at getting full custody.
@@jackspring7709 He'd probably been gaslighting her for awhile by that point. Abusers don't just go from perfectly fine to abusive immediately. She'd probably been conditioned to think the arguments were always her fault and if she just calmed down she'd realise she was wrong and see things his way. Getting out of an abusive situation is never as easy as people on the outside seem to think it is.
I imagine it's from experience, when you've dealt with enough crazy exes in court, you learn how to deal with not just the legality, but small things like this to keep your client feeling safe and secure
And even on the slim chance he hadn't been, she couldve developed some issues or insecurities from other health/things. I say this as someone who had that happen that then had an ex take advantage of it and turn abusive. So like two possible outcomes, both ending up with the ex being abusive
I don't think I even feel comfortable sleeping knowing that he feels that way towards my kid the minute your partner says "every time I look at your child it reminds you of your ex!" and it makes them angry that's when you really got to rethink the relationship because if you wait too long then it's going to be too late
It chills my blood that he did this. She empatically said "NO" to getting rid of the implant; he helped himself to a boxcutter and attempted it anyway. What do you suppose was the next logical step to take once he had removed it himself, without her consent?? How horrifying ......
He probably thought she'd "get over it" eventually when he forced a baby inside her after she refused to have sex with him after that and if she didn't appreciate him torturing her than she's being "dramatic" and that it was "best for his happiness and their relationship" He really does seem like the guy to do all that shit
Story 1: get out of this relationship now. He was going to cut into you to remove your birth control for you to have a baby for him before you were ready saying “it was for your own good” after making really BS excuses to why he had a box cutter. All cause he wants a bio kid he can love cause he can’t love the kid you had from a previous marriage (meaning the non bio kid will be treated significantly worse and different than bio kid) Love doesn’t matter when it comes to your and potentially your child’s physical and mental health
@@stilettosnthaghetto6997 and a baby would ensure AT LEAST 18 years, married or not, legally speaking unless he was proven unfit and lost all rights. I'm sure had they stuck together and got married, he would've done some manipulation to "encourage" her first son to go back to dad or dad's family and leave theirs so he could have his own little tailor-made family and no reminders of other men in her life.
She is abused and DOES NOT SEE how abusive he has been in the whole relationship. a very common theme. ppl struggle to see the abuse for what it is. it makes me so angry. this is why the cycle of abuse keeps going. I am angry at Op for letting it get this bad and needing us to shake her awake from CLEAR predator !!! (the guy was walking towards rape. OMFG.!!!) and she was like..... But i LOVE him..... just WOW....smh..... be better parents. Dont date and marry predators. This guy was a CREEP this whole time....she doesn't want to see it...... I hope she learns. She's lucky to be alive. I'm so angry ppl like that man are NOT in prison. btw- most rapists are NOT in prison. Fuck this creepy world....
@@kittylovesfilms I agree, and I know, too many people get away with things because of money, or just the general fear of reporting it (which I think accounts for most, this isn't taking into account for victims being dismissed, just not reporting) report it right away. And if it doesn't take, well, I see nothing wrong with small town justice.
Dude shouldn't have been given a slap on the wrist, he should've had the damn book thrown at him for that alone. But, it's not like law enforcement ever actually helps victims of abuse, so I'm not surprised he gets away with making an obvious threat.
It's a good thing that he is exposing himself to his own family and friends by posting that. There's now no story he could tell or warp that will gain him sympathy. If I were his friend and saw that post....I don't know how much longer I would interact with him.
I figured she had the mirena IUD, the internal one not in the arm. That thing HURTS getting it put in/taken out so that's bad enough but the man tried to remove one IN HER ARM?! Guy is psychotic, red flags galore! Run away for your childs sake at the very least
The Mirena is hella easy to remove and doesn't hurt a fraction of what the insertion would. I could see how someone could do it to a woman without her waking up but cutting into her arm? This guy is fucking nuts.
@@Fingerscrossedout I've had like, 3 of them. Your GP can remove them and it's nothing like insertion. It feels like a bit of weird pressure (kinda like an odd period cramp) and then it comes right out. Literally the only reason I've gone back to get them. If removing it was like insertion I would nope the fuck outta there. 🤣
The fact that she didn’t immediately GTFO when he said looking at _her child_ made him angry convinced me she wasn’t really doing anything for her son ... she only got her arse in gear when a box cutter became involved 😒😒😒
Even without the title, by the end of the second paragraph (angry at son and resenting him/OP) I was like "Get out now, if you have a baby with this man, there will absolutely be favoritism. He will also view the son as a rival for his wife's affection."
Same. I had to pause the video for a few moments. Saw this comment, agreed and commented just so my head wouldn't explode from the sheer wtf!.... .. And unpause.
When he told her mom he was worried something bad had happened to op or would happen to op it feels like he's setting the stage to look like a concerned fiance for after he harms (i.e., gets rid of) op.
Right? I just kept thinking, thank GOD she figured out his true colors before she got married/had more children with him. It’s already awful but that would have made it so much worse. 😟
‘Quickly’? Dude! She stayed even after he said “looking at your child makes me angry!” It was the box cutter thing that finally made her GTFO, that is NOT quickly! 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon I think he/she means that OP didn't hang around for days, weeks, or even months like some domestic violence people do with their abusers. In that regard, yes, OP did leave very quickly.
I am a step father, I met my oldest when he just turned 4 he’s 12 now, the hardest thing was when he said he didn’t know if I loved him. There is a weird barrier when you step into a child’s life it’s easily broken down by just caring for that child making sure they know you love them and making sure you protect them like their your own. My son looks like his mom and his dad and he is one of the most handsome little guys around.
You're a good man. Make sure you tell him you love him in those quiet times. I say to my nephew, "Hey, I love you," and the smile I get back is so amazing. 😊
Poor OP! I can't imagine being told by the person you are supposed to marry hates your son. That he makes him angry. And I don't blame her for falling asleep. She was most likely in shock from the argument and wasn't thinking clearly. But my god waking up to someone getting ready to cut you open?! He's a truly disgusting and terrifying human. I'm so glad she's far away and can legally keep her safe. Her family sounds amazing. I hope things keep going well for her in this awful time.
He'd probably get so impatient for his bio-child (if he had succeeded) that he would've took the box cutter to her pregnant belly and pulled the child out of her.
People need to take these things seriously. Saw a vid of an abusive boyfriend that gauged his gf eyes out when she went to sleep after an argument with him.
@@rosemarie1817 Yes well in america some woman (lisa montgomery) did that to pregnant lady, killed her and cut the baby out. So wouldn't put it past him.
I had my implant removed a couple of weeks ago, something went wrong and I lost a LOT of blood. If it hadn't been done in a medical setting I dread to think what could've happened! What this man tried to do is beyond thinking about!
Glad you were ok - I knew someone who bled to death after what looked like a minor stab wound to his arm. I dread to think what some lunatic with a box cutter could do by accident, even if his only intention was to remove the implant.
When OP mentioned trazodone, I immediately knew how hard it is to wake up from that sort of sleep. I have awful insomnia (nearly impossible to go to sleep and where I wake up often throughout the night amd sometimes wake up at 3am and can't get back to sleep, even on it), but 90% of the time trazodone works. I fall asleep immediately and it's ridiculously hard to wake me up. It's so scary to think about the ex succeeding if OP's trazodone had been even a little more effective.
Yeah, my mom takes Trazodone for sleep (and my dogs take small doses for anxiety lol), and it knocks her out. I feel like that also explains why she wasn’t thinking very clearly-she was probably still groggy from the meds and trying to process.
the box cutter probably wasn't even properly sanitised. this man could've given her tetanus or something. likelihood is, the only thing he would've succeeded in doing is sending her to the hospital. I'm not confident he would've even managed the removal in the first place. if he brought a fucking BOX CUTTER to the damn thing. apparently ypu can get it out with just some forceps?? that's from a cursory glance to google so I'm not sure. but a box cutter is definitely the wrong tool to use and probably would've caused more damage to her arm and blood vessel(s). My other concern is, if she was completely out and he removed the implant, the next """logical""" step (to this absolute MANIAC) would've been to impregnate her before she could get another implant in or something. obviously she's gonna wake up and realise "ah, I'm bleeding out/my arm hurts wow" and it's gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact you've torn open her arm like a box of triscuits. So, he HAD to have known there was a possibility she'd do a runner afterwards. If his only concern was getting her pregnant, then he was probably thinking he could keep her via baby trapping or have more control over her by taking her right to choose away. In that case, by all means he would've probably SA'd her while she was out cold. Honestly, that man terrifies me. No care for her child, only concerned about controlling her, able to manipulate like no tomorrow, probably put on a false image of being a loving fiance for her to be able to stay that long (probably through methods of love bombing and deception). I wouldn't be surprised if this man was genuinely on the dark triad, like an actual sociopath or something. Of course I can't give a genuine or reliable diagnosis and neither can anyone else, but I think it's pretty safe to say that no typical person with a functioning level of empathy would do this. Even a person with a narcissist personality wouldn't go that far, surely. This story belongs on r/letsnotmeet.
As a person who also takes trazodone, I've not woken up when fire alarms go off for an idea of its strength. Its so scary to think about being so vulnerable in front of OPs ex.
I just got it myself. Doesn’t really seem to work often though, but that probably has to do with the dosage personally. But thinking about how terrifying it must have been to have woke up any later. Horrifying.
Ex sounds like a domestic abuser that got fed up on not getting his way, and is with the FB post trying and failing to paint himself the victim. The calling and texting everyone in OP's life is not unhinged behavior, Ex found out he lost and is trying to get the upper hand by fining out where OP and son are. If one of them had cracked and told him, he would have started love-booming OP. That's how DV works. This will be a lifelong battle for OP, not because Ex will stalk her until he dies but because he just can't lose. Even after he has found himself someone new. Keeping family, specifically male family members, close is the best thing you can do for yourself regardless of your gender. Abusers fear their victim's family
My friend brother was an abuser like this. He would be all sweet & loving with his fiance & then when he got married he started abusing them. From what he said about her son I will not be surprised if he was abusive towards her kid when she was not around. She really dodged a bullet. As shocking as the events were it atleast happened before they were married.
A friend of mine takes Trazadone (the sleeping pill OP takes) and there is NO WAY she would have slept thru him removing that implant. He was unhinged. Hopefully she realizes all the other red flags she ignored or explained away and adds them to.the Ex Parte RO paperwork because the more evidence, the more likely that the judge will see the escalation of his behavior and will allow the renewal to go thru yearly. I hope OP stays safe and her son isn't mentally harmed by this event. My heart goes out to her. Had an ex like that as well.
I take trazodone! I mean, yeah I sleep like the dead, I don't wake up for fireworks, but if someone grabs and shakes me then I'm up. Any touching and I'll be groggy, but awake. I don't know what that dude was thinking.
Yikes! OP needs to end this relationship yesterday! The fact that he's resenting OP and her son and demanding another baby from him and tried to force a pregnancy and a baby on her is terrifying! 😰 After Updates: OP did the right thing by running like heck and embracing her beloved son. And her mommy dearest really is an absolute angel! And her brothers are awesome too! I'm so happy that OP and her beloved son got away from that psycho. ❤
God, when bad people show you their true colors, believe them. In a cruel way, her fiancé did her a favor by pulling some shit like this BEFORE getting married and merging any finances, which makes her leaving much easier. “He’s not usually like this.” They never are, at first. Abusers slowly introduce crazier and crazier shit until you’re completely accepting of their bullshit. The fact that she didn’t immediately leave when he said he felt no love for her child already shows that he’s been manipulating her for a long time before this. Hell, she saw this incident as merely “breaking trust” instead of the terrifying and pathological assault that it is.
I can see why she hesitated, it's a situation so messed up she's struggling to process it. Like "I can't believe he'd do that, it's so implausible that it must not be what it seems" In moments where your perception of reality is shattered, it's only rational to take a moment to figure out if maybe you're interpreting things wrong because surely that's more likely than that your fiancee has been a violent misogynistic psychopath this whole time and you didn't see it before.
😳 This is so damn creepy on just about every level. Hatred of her son. Complete dismissal of her bodily autonomy. Eagerness to dissect her. Gaslighting. And 4:20. “I love him”. Why? How? I don’t mean to victim blame, but I can’t help but ask these questions. I wonder if something in the update will answer what caused his psychotic break or if she wasn’t noticing this behaviour before.
She's almost as bad as he is - she didn't leave him the moment he said the sight of her son makes him angrier every time. That guy is extremely dangerous: I also think he would have tried to r**e her while she was asleep if he had managed to remove the implant without her waking up.
He treated her well until this point. It's shocking for people when others suddenly change. All our feelings don't change at once. It takes time to accept reality and that someone is abusive. I'm just glad OP and her son are safe.
In short, she loved the character he portrayed. People like this man are extremely skilled in lying, hiding their true nature. Some can contain their impatience for results right to the end without ever being caught. Some don't even get nifty, infamous names like Jack the Ripper. It's all varying degrees of evil, and their ability for self control over gratification. OP is simply _fortunate_ to have been shown the truth beneath the façade. That he was too impatient to properly spring his trap. Most of us never recognise the monsters in our midst.
As soon as a man tells you that looking at your child makes him angry and resentful, there is no more love for him coming from me. Let alone him trying to cut out your BC. Change the locks OP or move out NOW.
To me, that was a direct threat towards the child. Anyone who gets angry looking at a child, because he looks like someone said-person hates is a blazing red flag.
Aw man, I read this one recently and it hadn't been updated in over a year, so I hoped Mark reading it meant there had been an update. I'm guessing OP realized if she had been leaving information for internet sleuths to find her, then her boyfriend would be able to too and stopped posting. Which means if we ever get another update from her, it'll only be once she's safe. And I do hope that's sooner than later - the ex is psychotic.
I have nexplanan It’s under Several layers of skin That is Terrifying. She Needs To Leave, NOW. Edit: This was a very terrifying story regarding her ex. ‘Living on borrowed time’!? How did he manage to pretend to be normal for so long. A Serious case of Jekyll and Hyde. Its scary to think that this might haven’t ended in a safer place if she didn’t have family and friends to surround her.
I’m SOOOO glad Op fled and filed a restraining order against this psycho. He has shown to not only be a danger to OP (trying to directly remove her right to bodily autonomy by forcibly trying to remove her birth control implant but also indirectly by forcing her get get pregnant when he wanted her to) by also her son (openly resenting/becoming angered her son solely because the son isn’t his bio child). I’m fully convinced that had op not’ve had her implant, her psycho ex would’ve committed a different type of assault.
I had implanon for about a year. Had to get it out due to issues with it. Ended up getting scar tissue build up around it. Its supposed to take around 20 minutes to take out but due to the scar tissue it took about an hour. Implanon is not something you can take out by yourself. I was close to going to the er to get it removed while under anesthesia. I feel like some are thinking you can just pop it out like a zit. Not the case. Girl in the first story would have to be cut pretty deep to remove it and thats if its not imbedded. Dude is a psycho and it seems like the threat of not having a child when he wanted made his mask slip...
I used to work as a medical assistant at an OB/GYN and I assisted the doctors with procedures. Supposedly they're easy to get in but a total bitch to remove. I only assisted with one removal and, like you, scar tissue built up around it and it took forever. There's no way her ex could've removed it that easily. He would've had to hack deep into her arm figuring all he was a box cutter and he didn't have any forceps. Good thing her med didn't knock her out totally and she woke up. Her ex is a psycho. I hope she's safe.
Cheebus this is insane. Also OP needs therapy; I'm alarmed at how little she trusts herself and values her and her child's well-being and safety. Seems like something isn't right in terms of how she thinks of herself and the world. ofc the police will barely do anything about this untill something bad happens. -_-
She said something about how her default position is assuming things are her fault, so I would agree there’s probably some issues there that need addressed. But considering she made the initial post just hours after it happened (and, notably, that she had taken a strong sleep aid before going to bed), she probably was not thinking 100% clearly either.
comes from years of being gaslit by someone. I wonder who gaslit OP in her life besides her now ex. (the fact that she doesn't mention a father for herself might be a clue, idk)
I was already WTFing hard at the title but damn this got worse and worse and worse. I hope OP and her son are alright now. Glad, they have such a supportive family that didn't even hesitate! This was seriously scary.
This might be the most insane story I´ve ever seen on reddit. Sheesh. Glad OP has an amazing family and an experienced lawyer helping her. But it makes me wonder if something happend to ex that made him snap or if he was always like that and was just really good at hiding it.
The fact she continuously over-explains and over-apologises really says that this man was showing signs way before this incident and was likely emotionally abusive.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son, that my midwife asked that I come to one appointment alone. She explained to me that it’s very common for domestic abuse to begin during pregnancy, so they now at the beginning of pregnancy, have an appointment just with the Mother, to warn her of the signs of domestic abuse and to give her information she could use to get help if abuse did start. I was flabbergasted but also really impressed, that was 16 years ago, they still had the same appointment when I was expecting my daughter 14 years ago. It’s not uncommon for the nice guy act to drop once they think they have her trapped. The love bombing/ nice guy stage is never who the abuser really is. The OP is fortunate that she saw the man under the mask when she did! He has no claim on her or their son - so many women are continuously abused via custody hearings/ arrangements and passive aggressive comments through their child. I’m just horrified that a man can be about to cut his fiancé open, and there is no way the police can charge him. That’s a psychopath! He is capable of literally anything!
yes it’s heartbreaking, you would think the fact that she was carrying their precious child would be enough to stop them from hurting her. Unfortunately, many men target their babies too. Trying to induce miscarriage. We live in an evil, evil world! Narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy are more common than we would like to believe! Thankfully not all men are monsters and I would like to believe that the majority of men are good, decent human beings. Research suggests 7.7% of men in the general population are narcissists,1.2% are psychopaths, 3-6% are sociopaths - I can’t find information on the percentage of men who are abusers - however just looking at the statistic above, that is a lot of men!
This comment is what I was looking for, and I'm honestly so shocked that no one else is even bringing up the fact that the police told her that they couldn't do anything since he didn't harm her he basically did nothing wrong even though he threatened her life by saying she's on borrowed time threatened her life by attempting to mutilate her arm to remove an IUD to then rape and impregnate her.
@@corvuselizabeth9747 yes, a man that is capable of cutting open his fiancé as she sleeps is extremely dangerous - yet he gets to walk the streets! You would think they would encourage her to get him to record him admitting to what he did - so that they could charge him. I swear it’s like they can’t be bothered at times!
When he told OP that everytime he looks at her son he gets angry I was thinking that she needed to leave then. But then he tried to cut her implant out of her arm? Oh hell no! That's down right beyond scary. I also want to know why he wants a baby right now so immediately. That type of a mental switch is extremely concerning.
… Well FU*K, guys. How’s this for a holiday story? In all seriousness, I’m so glad both OP and her son booked it because I have a feeling they BOTH would’ve ended up on the news (if you know what I mean). Who ELSE was FREAKING TF OUT when OP took a sleeping pill after that conversation? I understand that unhinged behavior came out of the blue, but for someone to suddenly turn on someone they love and their child like that? RUN. I’m so happy OP has so many loving and supportive friends and family banding together, having her back.
i hope there is an update to this first story cause it was on a couple years ago, its a very disturbing story and i wish it was not even on reddit...its just horrible she had to go through all that
She let her kid down. I hope this is a HUGE learning lesson. She could have been raped and killed. she about married a rapist. (he wanted to force a baby on her and tried to cut her open) and she says he isn't abusive. BULLSHIT! She's lying to herself and that in turn failed her kid. She let this man around her kid. This man ready was being emotionally abusive to the kid. He hated the kid b/c he looked like her ex. Think about that..... he wanted NOTHING to do with that kid. Think about it Mates, be better mothers. Dont marry predators. Dont be an enabler of abuse. btw- #MeToo
I think the "i want you to be pregnant for the sake of it no matter what is your opinion" would have been a huge enough red flag but yeah as soon as he would start to bash my son in front of me i cut him off and leave right then and there! I know how abuse can manipulate but in these cases it is not just your life is on the line. It is your DUTY to keep your children safe!
Story one: it's about control and dominance. Not love, family, and a baby of his own. He will bounce and it won't work. Now you know just how crazy he is with the box cutter.
The point is that he wanted a baby because of himself. That was a red flag! You get a baby FOR THE BABY. It is not about the parent! The worse part that he would not leave. :( ( if you meant bounce by that). That would be a blessing if he would abandon the family at this point. He is a psycho and a danger to the family.
I saw another story about how a guy insisted that he wanted kids.The woman wasnt ready,so he poked holes in the condom,and got her pregnant. So now she has postpartum depression, he doesn't like dealing with the kid,and she wants to leave him.
Hah , this reminds me what I saw happening all the time in the court in my town. Lawyers, myself included, say to the clients "Be as short as possible with your answers".But no, when they start talking...It's like "Ah yes I remember Jesus...He and I went to school together", and then it goes on for an hour like that, where everyone forgets why we are there in the first place, judge gets a headache....Before the hearing I even write them and print what to say, but it doesn't work...Nervous to much XD
That first story Jesus CHRIST. I get having trouble reconciling the one night of horror against the months or years of kindness, but you cannot let yourself believe the one night of horror was a fluke. It's too dangerous if you're wrong. And you almost always are in this situation. When a seemingly kind man suddenly turns into the devil, run. He let the mask slip. That was his true face. And especially with a kid in the mix, you absolutely cannot afford to stick around hoping it wasn't.
What's getting me is that he was SO crazed and desperate that he couldn't wait EIGHT MONTHS until the birth control expired. He's a total maniac and I'm glad OP and her son were able to get out of there safely because JFC!!
So glad she got out. My sister almost lost her life to an ex that got jealous over something similar. My sis had no warning when he snapped and hurt her. I'm glad this woman did and she ran for it.
I've had nexplanon before and it wasn't easy to remove. Took at least 30 minutes. And it really hurt when the numbing wore off, can't imagine how it would feel with no numbing and insufficient knowledge/tools. Not to mention risk of infection because I doubt this guy even washed his hands, let alone sterilized the box cutter
I also got the idea that it might be a psychotic break. Both because it was a sudden change (even though OP might have just been blindsided) and also because the box cutter plan was so irrational it would make sense that it came from someone who isn't right in the head at the moment. But even if it's the case, it's great that OP removed herself and her child from that situation.
I don’t think it was a mental break. Mental breaks often don’t follow any consistent logic or reason, and they are typically upset by things that aren’t entirely related to the true cause of the break. If he was stressed by work or his family, his upset would have been something entirely irrelevant, or at least not entirely related to WHY he was suffering. This is because breakdowns are not logical or intentional. Here though, his behavior sounded very calculated; he started the conversation about having more kids, she told him no, he kept trying to convince her, and when she refused he ACTIVELY looked up how to remove her implant and tried to do it quietly in her sleep. It was all super coherent and intentional, and followed through with a line of logic that’s easy to follow. He did this shit on purpose.
That is horrifying, the pure terror of having someone you trust and were supposed to be safe around, turning on you like that. I hope she is doing better now.
Not gonna lie… had my partner said that he resents me and my child because the child wasn’t his, I would dump him right then, right there. I’m so so horrified on OPs behalf that she was accidentally with a psychopath.
I always find it so messed up that during cases of restraining orders and abuse, the victim /has/ to sit in the same room with their abuser. There’s seriously no other way? All it does is discourage victims.
What I think of this situation? Pretty much what most other people have probably already said; He was going to cut her arm open with a goddamn boxcutter?! What if he'd hit an artery or something?!! The guy's a flippin' psychopath and OP needs to keep herself and her kid as far away from him as physically possible.
Man resents my child Man doesn't feel connection to my child Man doesn't respect my decision to wait for a baby Man tries to cut me in my sleep Man gaslights me about trying to cut me in my sleep What should I do guys? YOU REALLY DONT KNOW???
This kind of man scares me. The kind that goes from sweet and kind and loving to trying to cut you open and threatening your life because you had the audacity to leave him and file for a restraining order.
The fact that she needed convincing to leave this abusive relationship is just sad, having a child with a guy like this would just make it more toxic and abusive.
Story 1, even if fiance shouldn't be sent away for trying to hurt OP, he proved he doesn't want to be a father to her son and she should never marry him. RUN, run, run.
Story 1: I’d have left him after he expressed how he felt about my son. If he can’t accept my son, and he only feels anger when he sees my boy? Then I can’t trust him near my child, or myself. I’d kick him to the curb, call family and inform them as I’m packing, leave, and pay for security cams to be set up after filing a police report. That’s all BEFORE the box cutter.
My God, that woman needs to get police immediately! Thankfully in the update she did. I've been there, though luckily no kid was involved. My fiancée, the knife, everything. It's terrifying. I still fear him after thirty years!
OMG I really hope that she told everyone who could help her get out of there and keep him away from OP. That’s terrifying. She could have died and he was trying to just cover his footsteps. Seems like landlord was understanding. Didn’t know about ex partes or civil standby but will definitely suggest them to people who are in a similar situation. Still scared for her but so glad she and her baby got away.
I have the exact same implant… the three years expired in late June and I need it removed with an ultrasound because it got too deep into my skin. Earliest appointment was next week (set the appointment in early July), so I’m excited but nervous to get it out finally. I’m switching to the pill after this. I can NOT IMAGINE someone who is not medically and professionally trained to TRY something like this. Obviously it’d be painful… but as someone who has it, god I can imagine the pain very clearly. I just hope that OP and her son is completely safe from that insane ex. Her mom sounds amazing, thank goodness she was there for OP to rationalize what to do. Also: if your partner is not ready to be pregnant, END OF DISCUSSION. Especially if they’d be the one to be pregnant. Unwanted pregnancies are never good, and it can lead to resentment to the innocent child. Being a parent is something you have to both agree on, and agree on when to start trying to be pregnant. Ex was immediately in the wrong for pushing OP about it, but even more wrong and insane for that attempt of harm!
@@sarakrauss2407 Sounds like he learn about the surgical procedure, but failed to realize that he's not a medical professional. And that his ex-fianceé would've scream to the heavens if was in the middle of removing it because *there was no anaesthesia.*
To be fair I had an implant and honestly... I'd never imagined my partner coming at me to remove it. So this is something I'd not put down to dumb, since the attempt to remove it was unexpected.
O. M. G! 😧 OP needs to gtf out of that relationship last week! He just sees her as a walking incubator for his seed. He’s willing to cut her open and remove her birth control just to get what he wants. He’s a monster! Don’t marry that man! He’ll just be abusive towards the OP and her son after he thinks he owns her once the wedding ring in on her finger.
She keeps saying that her situation sounds like badly written fanfic and no, no it does not. If she keeps thinking that, then she needs to start reading better fanfic after she and her son are finally done of that jerk.
I had the same implant as OP. It required local anesthesia to insert it and it required a local to have it removed. He wanted his own child so badly that he was willing to basically mutilate OP in order to get one. OP, don't try to convince yourself that this was a heat-of-the-moment lapse in judgement; he admitted that he STUDIED how to remove it. He waited for you to fall asleep, looked for and found a box cutter, and was counting on you to be so unconscious so that he could hack his way into your arm. This is NOT a man you want to keep even a mile near you, sunk cost be damned.
Yes. She could've bled to death if he messed up the removal! And what did he think would happen when she woke up with an injured arm? That she would just fling herself into his arms and want to get intimate? The man's a psycho.
I have the same one, he “studied it” and forgot abt the anaesthetic?
@@hodgeelmwood8677 Not to mention the infection potential that comes from not sterilizing the surgical area. And how delicate a procedure can one perform with a box cutter? That's like trying to light a birthday candle with a military grade
flamethrower; you'll hit the target AND everything else around it
Everyone in this comment section is just gunning the man down and I love you all for that.
The dude is an absolute either a sociopath or psychopath. I am absolutely baffled that people stay in relationships like this. I mean I know we're all young, but 27 is not that young. This is exactly why people divorce, they marry people they shouldn't. I know that she's the victim. I hope she's okay and can make some better choices in partners. The guy needs to go to jail.
Either he had a psychotic break or the person she fell in love with never existed in the first place. I think his parents not responding proves the second one.
Idk I assumed his parents weren’t responding because OP now had a legal case against their son and their messages could be admissible in court.
@@myconfusedmerriment Ah, good point. Still, if it were someone in my family acting like this I'd immediately be taking him to a doctor. It's really easy for brain problems to lead to death or permanent injury very, very quickly.
That's what I was thinking. If those parents had any shred of decency, they would've at least apologized to OP and understood, but instead they just ignore. They're probably the "my son can do no wrong" types.
@KhaleesiReyna it could be them going silent to avoid picking sides or its basically them realizing they screwed up. Hoping it's the latter but even then, they are picking sides by being silent over this.
@@pippo17173 yeah, but this is one of those cases where not "choosing a side" IS choosing a side (and siding with the abuser). No matter how you slice it, they're aholes who raised a monster and now want to bury their heads in the sand while their spawn threatens a person's life and safety. Complete trash.
Unbelievably grateful Reddit convinced her to flee. It’s clear she went into shock and all her thoughts were jumbled. 😟
Yeah I can imagine that shock...
Or she's just weak and an idio†.
Also she had sleeping pills in her system and really, no one can say how their fight or flight response will be until they're in the same situation
@@CarinaCoffee Nah she's just an idio†. In the update she flat out admits she "thought he didn't mean it" before she took the pills, and has no explanation for why she was going to stay after he'd tried to mutilate her.
What kind of room temperature IQ having conkwocket hears a grown man say "I hate your son and I resent you both", then JUST GOES TO SLEEP GIVING HIM FULL, UNIMPEDED ACCESS TO YOUR SON?
@@CarinaCoffee Good point.
"It's a coincidence I'm holding a box cutter..."
That has to be the WORST excuse I've ever heard
its almost funny tbh
She narrowly escaped by the looks of it, the foreshadowing when the dude called ops mother saying something might have happened to her and her son. Right out of the homicide handbook
100%.
Honestly, I was mad at OP during most of the story. So many RED FLAGS that she let slide. This is why the cycle of abuse keeps happening. She almost got herself killed.....explaining AWAY red flag after Red flag.
woman, please be smarter!!!!
so many of you ppl let creeps rule over you.... and HURT your kids...... can't tell you how many kids are sexually abused......
so so so glad op got out. But I'm mad at her nativity and her view on love. I'm worried for that kid.
please have more self-respect ppl. break the cycle of abuse!!!!!
Had the same thought. He could've said anything else but saying that something might've happened could mean he had something in mind.
Yeah, this one grabbed my attention also. Be very wary. He's already stated that he'd research heavily to get what he wants. Nothing more dangerous than a cold, calculating, intelligent psycho.
@@MrChicky1202 Except an intelligent man would realise that the "research" he did did not make him qualified to remove something from a person's arm.
@@Victor_Graves and that trying to remove it would stupid and very obvious. He didn’t even try any form of pain relief regardless of how the strong the medication is most people can’t ignore their arm being stabbed
A man tells you your child makes him angry, he has no attachment to your child and demands you have a bio child for him. You immediately leave that as long as it's safe. You don't argue, you don't wait, you don't go to sleep. You and your child immediately get out.
Exactly. i can't believe she didn't just leave there and then: and when all this settles down she's going to need to ask her son if that psycho harmed him in any way.
Right?! I was honestly shocked that the argument even continued, it would have been a wrap. Love goes out the window at that point!
She's a drama queen. She already has a child "from a previous relationship." At 25. Yeah, no, she needs help BIG TIME. Normal, balanced women don't have kids by 25. Her ex was always an abusive asshole, but she deluded herself and sold out her kid for fresh dick. We know that because her younger brother didn't like him. While I'm glad that she got away from the guy, if I were the mother, I would be looking at getting full custody.
@@diamcole True.
@@jackspring7709 He'd probably been gaslighting her for awhile by that point. Abusers don't just go from perfectly fine to abusive immediately. She'd probably been conditioned to think the arguments were always her fault and if she just calmed down she'd realise she was wrong and see things his way. Getting out of an abusive situation is never as easy as people on the outside seem to think it is.
Can we just give the lawyer some love for sitting with OP and staying between her and ex? That is a Good Person.
It's their job but yeah glad they took it seriously
@@Fingerscrossedout Not everyone would do that tho.
He's a pro, good on him.
@taylor
Agreed so much. Not every lawyer would do that and it warms my heart they did.
I imagine it's from experience, when you've dealt with enough crazy exes in court, you learn how to deal with not just the legality, but small things like this to keep your client feeling safe and secure
OP needs therapy, the part where she said "I thought maybe I'd been too mean in the argument" it's clear her ex has been emotionally abusive too.
Yes and I bet OPs brother had started catching on. Since she said he didn’t like him.
And even on the slim chance he hadn't been, she couldve developed some issues or insecurities from other health/things.
I say this as someone who had that happen that then had an ex take advantage of it and turn abusive.
So like two possible outcomes, both ending up with the ex being abusive
Women are conditioned to think if we are "nice" we can control the outcome, and being "mean" is why bad things happen to us. ☹️
Dude, I would've been done the second he said looking at my child made him angry.
Exactly. I don't know what sort of a mother stays with a psycho like that after he says something like that.
Or maybe when you wake up to him holding a box cutter over you….
😬 someone go help OP
Me too. If someone said that about my child I would be fulled with hate for that person.
Exactly!
I don't think I even feel comfortable sleeping knowing that he feels that way towards my kid the minute your partner says "every time I look at your child it reminds you of your ex!" and it makes them angry that's when you really got to rethink the relationship because if you wait too long then it's going to be too late
OP's mom is the MVP. What a mama bear. I hope OP learns some things from her
It chills my blood that he did this. She empatically said "NO" to getting rid of the implant; he helped himself to a boxcutter and attempted it anyway. What do you suppose was the next logical step to take once he had removed it himself, without her consent?? How horrifying ......
He was going to kill her
She needs to get out, press charges, and get a protection order.
@@ineedhoezNot kill. Dead women don't make babies. He was probably going to attempt to impregnate her without her consent... grape, but without the g
He probably thought she'd "get over it" eventually when he forced a baby inside her after she refused to have sex with him after that and if she didn't appreciate him torturing her than she's being "dramatic" and that it was "best for his happiness and their relationship"
He really does seem like the guy to do all that shit
Story 1: get out of this relationship now. He was going to cut into you to remove your birth control for you to have a baby for him before you were ready saying “it was for your own good” after making really BS excuses to why he had a box cutter. All cause he wants a bio kid he can love cause he can’t love the kid you had from a previous marriage (meaning the non bio kid will be treated significantly worse and different than bio kid)
Love doesn’t matter when it comes to your and potentially your child’s physical and mental health
I wouldn’t trust him with a bio kid, either. This is the kind of guy who doesn’t hesitate to hurt her, or their baby.
@@TheAuthorgal It was an eventuality he would kill her son.
No he did it because he needed to keep her in his life whether she likes it or not
@@stilettosnthaghetto6997 and a baby would ensure AT LEAST 18 years, married or not, legally speaking unless he was proven unfit and lost all rights.
I'm sure had they stuck together and got married, he would've done some manipulation to "encourage" her first son to go back to dad or dad's family and leave theirs so he could have his own little tailor-made family and no reminders of other men in her life.
Even after all that, she was concerned with the guy's health (from the brain tumor bit) that guy really didn't deserve her at all.
She is abused and DOES NOT SEE how abusive he has been in the whole relationship. a very common theme. ppl struggle to see the abuse for what it is. it makes me so angry. this is why the cycle of abuse keeps going. I am angry at Op for letting it get this bad and needing us to shake her awake from CLEAR predator !!! (the guy was walking towards rape. OMFG.!!!) and she was like..... But i LOVE him..... just WOW....smh.....
be better parents. Dont date and marry predators. This guy was a CREEP this whole time....she doesn't want to see it...... I hope she learns. She's lucky to be alive. I'm so angry ppl like that man are NOT in prison. btw- most rapists are NOT in prison. Fuck this creepy world....
@@kittylovesfilms I agree, and I know, too many people get away with things because of money, or just the general fear of reporting it (which I think accounts for most, this isn't taking into account for victims being dismissed, just not reporting) report it right away. And if it doesn't take, well, I see nothing wrong with small town justice.
“Living on borrowed time” 😳 wtf that fr sounds like a threat. What a scary and unhinged person I’m so glad she left when she did omg
Dude shouldn't have been given a slap on the wrist, he should've had the damn book thrown at him for that alone. But, it's not like law enforcement ever actually helps victims of abuse, so I'm not surprised he gets away with making an obvious threat.
It's a good thing that he is exposing himself to his own family and friends by posting that. There's now no story he could tell or warp that will gain him sympathy.
If I were his friend and saw that post....I don't know how much longer I would interact with him.
I figured she had the mirena IUD, the internal one not in the arm. That thing HURTS getting it put in/taken out so that's bad enough but the man tried to remove one IN HER ARM?! Guy is psychotic, red flags galore! Run away for your childs sake at the very least
And it is extremely dangerous to take it out yourself. And with a box cutter? Yikes. There is no way that isn’t dangerous
The Mirena is hella easy to remove and doesn't hurt a fraction of what the insertion would.
I could see how someone could do it to a woman without her waking up but cutting into her arm? This guy is fucking nuts.
@@Stopthisrightnow560 uhhhh nope, just saw a video how it's removed... Nope nope nope
@@Fingerscrossedout I've had like, 3 of them. Your GP can remove them and it's nothing like insertion.
It feels like a bit of weird pressure (kinda like an odd period cramp) and then it comes right out.
Literally the only reason I've gone back to get them. If removing it was like insertion I would nope the fuck outta there. 🤣
The fact that she didn’t immediately GTFO when he said looking at _her child_ made him angry convinced me she wasn’t really doing anything for her son ... she only got her arse in gear when a box cutter became involved 😒😒😒
Even without the title, by the end of the second paragraph (angry at son and resenting him/OP) I was like "Get out now, if you have a baby with this man, there will absolutely be favoritism. He will also view the son as a rival for his wife's affection."
Same. I had to pause the video for a few moments. Saw this comment, agreed and commented just so my head wouldn't explode from the sheer wtf!....
..
And unpause.
He will be the end of his own bloodline lol
When he told her mom he was worried something bad had happened to op or would happen to op it feels like he's setting the stage to look like a concerned fiance for after he harms (i.e., gets rid of) op.
Man, I'm glad she got out so quickly. I can't imagine how bad he'd get if he managed to get her pregnant.
Right? I just kept thinking, thank GOD she figured out his true colors before she got married/had more children with him. It’s already awful but that would have made it so much worse. 😟
@@myconfusedmerriment
Thank God for the implant. He would have been sabotaging all the older forms of BC day 1 with her none the wiser.
I imagine that after getting her pregnant he would start to isolate her from her family and friends. Imo
‘Quickly’? Dude! She stayed even after he said “looking at your child makes me angry!” It was the box cutter thing that finally made her GTFO, that is NOT quickly! 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon I think he/she means that OP didn't hang around for days, weeks, or even months like some domestic violence people do with their abusers. In that regard, yes, OP did leave very quickly.
I am a step father, I met my oldest when he just turned 4 he’s 12 now, the hardest thing was when he said he didn’t know if I loved him. There is a weird barrier when you step into a child’s life it’s easily broken down by just caring for that child making sure they know you love them and making sure you protect them like their your own. My son looks like his mom and his dad and he is one of the most handsome little guys around.
You're a good man. Make sure you tell him you love him in those quiet times. I say to my nephew, "Hey, I love you," and the smile I get back is so amazing. 😊
Thank you for being such an awesome example of a man, Dad & all around great human being. 😊
Poor OP! I can't imagine being told by the person you are supposed to marry hates your son. That he makes him angry. And I don't blame her for falling asleep. She was most likely in shock from the argument and wasn't thinking clearly. But my god waking up to someone getting ready to cut you open?! He's a truly disgusting and terrifying human. I'm so glad she's far away and can legally keep her safe. Her family sounds amazing. I hope things keep going well for her in this awful time.
He'd probably get so impatient for his bio-child (if he had succeeded) that he would've took the box cutter to her pregnant belly and pulled the child out of her.
@rosemarie1817 I want to believe someone wouldn't be that stupid but... with this guy I could see it.
He probably spiked her food
People need to take these things seriously. Saw a vid of an abusive boyfriend that gauged his gf eyes out when she went to sleep after an argument with him.
@@rosemarie1817 Yes well in america some woman (lisa montgomery) did that to pregnant lady, killed her and cut the baby out. So wouldn't put it past him.
I had my implant removed a couple of weeks ago, something went wrong and I lost a LOT of blood. If it hadn't been done in a medical setting I dread to think what could've happened! What this man tried to do is beyond thinking about!
Glad you were ok - I knew someone who bled to death after what looked like a minor stab wound to his arm. I dread to think what some lunatic with a box cutter could do by accident, even if his only intention was to remove the implant.
Story 1: She better not take that psycho back, what the actual hell
When OP mentioned trazodone, I immediately knew how hard it is to wake up from that sort of sleep. I have awful insomnia (nearly impossible to go to sleep and where I wake up often throughout the night amd sometimes wake up at 3am and can't get back to sleep, even on it), but 90% of the time trazodone works. I fall asleep immediately and it's ridiculously hard to wake me up. It's so scary to think about the ex succeeding if OP's trazodone had been even a little more effective.
Yeah, my mom takes Trazodone for sleep (and my dogs take small doses for anxiety lol), and it knocks her out. I feel like that also explains why she wasn’t thinking very clearly-she was probably still groggy from the meds and trying to process.
the box cutter probably wasn't even properly sanitised. this man could've given her tetanus or something. likelihood is, the only thing he would've succeeded in doing is sending her to the hospital. I'm not confident he would've even managed the removal in the first place. if he brought a fucking BOX CUTTER to the damn thing. apparently ypu can get it out with just some forceps?? that's from a cursory glance to google so I'm not sure. but a box cutter is definitely the wrong tool to use and probably would've caused more damage to her arm and blood vessel(s).
My other concern is, if she was completely out and he removed the implant, the next """logical""" step (to this absolute MANIAC) would've been to impregnate her before she could get another implant in or something. obviously she's gonna wake up and realise "ah, I'm bleeding out/my arm hurts wow" and it's gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact you've torn open her arm like a box of triscuits. So, he HAD to have known there was a possibility she'd do a runner afterwards. If his only concern was getting her pregnant, then he was probably thinking he could keep her via baby trapping or have more control over her by taking her right to choose away.
In that case, by all means he would've probably SA'd her while she was out cold.
Honestly, that man terrifies me. No care for her child, only concerned about controlling her, able to manipulate like no tomorrow, probably put on a false image of being a loving fiance for her to be able to stay that long (probably through methods of love bombing and deception). I wouldn't be surprised if this man was genuinely on the dark triad, like an actual sociopath or something. Of course I can't give a genuine or reliable diagnosis and neither can anyone else, but I think it's pretty safe to say that no typical person with a functioning level of empathy would do this. Even a person with a narcissist personality wouldn't go that far, surely. This story belongs on r/letsnotmeet.
As a person who also takes trazodone, I've not woken up when fire alarms go off for an idea of its strength. Its so scary to think about being so vulnerable in front of OPs ex.
I just got it myself. Doesn’t really seem to work often though, but that probably has to do with the dosage personally. But thinking about how terrifying it must have been to have woke up any later. Horrifying.
@@Someone-or8tp oh my god. I didn’t even think of the aftermath. And it’s a high likelihood too. What a horrifying situation
That "living on borrowed time" comment is giving me chills. The sweet and kind man that OP thought he was probably doesn't exist.
Yeah, that he posted it, basically telling everyone what he is about without apparent fear of consequences is oof so terrifying.
Ex sounds like a domestic abuser that got fed up on not getting his way, and is with the FB post trying and failing to paint himself the victim. The calling and texting everyone in OP's life is not unhinged behavior, Ex found out he lost and is trying to get the upper hand by fining out where OP and son are. If one of them had cracked and told him, he would have started love-booming OP. That's how DV works. This will be a lifelong battle for OP, not because Ex will stalk her until he dies but because he just can't lose. Even after he has found himself someone new. Keeping family, specifically male family members, close is the best thing you can do for yourself regardless of your gender. Abusers fear their victim's family
That's why they try to break the trust their target has in everyone else
My friend brother was an abuser like this. He would be all sweet & loving with his fiance & then when he got married he started abusing them. From what he said about her son I will not be surprised if he was abusive towards her kid when she was not around. She really dodged a bullet. As shocking as the events were it atleast happened before they were married.
A friend of mine takes Trazadone (the sleeping pill OP takes) and there is NO WAY she would have slept thru him removing that implant. He was unhinged. Hopefully she realizes all the other red flags she ignored or explained away and adds them to.the Ex Parte RO paperwork because the more evidence, the more likely that the judge will see the escalation of his behavior and will allow the renewal to go thru yearly. I hope OP stays safe and her son isn't mentally harmed by this event. My heart goes out to her. Had an ex like that as well.
Well said
I take trazodone! I mean, yeah I sleep like the dead, I don't wake up for fireworks, but if someone grabs and shakes me then I'm up. Any touching and I'll be groggy, but awake. I don't know what that dude was thinking.
Yikes! OP needs to end this relationship yesterday! The fact that he's resenting OP and her son and demanding another baby from him and tried to force a pregnancy and a baby on her is terrifying! 😰
After Updates: OP did the right thing by running like heck and embracing her beloved son. And her mommy dearest really is an absolute angel! And her brothers are awesome too! I'm so happy that OP and her beloved son got away from that psycho. ❤
God, when bad people show you their true colors, believe them. In a cruel way, her fiancé did her a favor by pulling some shit like this BEFORE getting married and merging any finances, which makes her leaving much easier.
“He’s not usually like this.” They never are, at first. Abusers slowly introduce crazier and crazier shit until you’re completely accepting of their bullshit. The fact that she didn’t immediately leave when he said he felt no love for her child already shows that he’s been manipulating her for a long time before this. Hell, she saw this incident as merely “breaking trust” instead of the terrifying and pathological assault that it is.
I can see why she hesitated, it's a situation so messed up she's struggling to process it. Like "I can't believe he'd do that, it's so implausible that it must not be what it seems"
In moments where your perception of reality is shattered, it's only rational to take a moment to figure out if maybe you're interpreting things wrong because surely that's more likely than that your fiancee has been a violent misogynistic psychopath this whole time and you didn't see it before.
😳
This is so damn creepy on just about every level.
Hatred of her son.
Complete dismissal of her bodily autonomy.
Eagerness to dissect her.
Gaslighting.
And 4:20. “I love him”. Why? How? I don’t mean to victim blame, but I can’t help but ask these questions. I wonder if something in the update will answer what caused his psychotic break or if she wasn’t noticing this behaviour before.
This comment proves that y'all have never been in an abusive relationship. The feelings don't just turn off.
She's almost as bad as he is - she didn't leave him the moment he said the sight of her son makes him angrier every time. That guy is extremely dangerous: I also think he would have tried to r**e her while she was asleep if he had managed to remove the implant without her waking up.
Haha, right? Don’t stop to ask Reddit, just run out the door.
He treated her well until this point. It's shocking for people when others suddenly change. All our feelings don't change at once. It takes time to accept reality and that someone is abusive. I'm just glad OP and her son are safe.
In short, she loved the character he portrayed.
People like this man are extremely skilled in lying, hiding their true nature.
Some can contain their impatience for results right to the end without ever being caught. Some don't even get nifty, infamous names like Jack the Ripper.
It's all varying degrees of evil, and their ability for self control over gratification.
OP is simply _fortunate_ to have been shown the truth beneath the façade. That he was too impatient to properly spring his trap.
Most of us never recognise the monsters in our midst.
So thankful she got her and her son out of there safely and her family were so supportive. How on earth did he think that would play out!
As soon as a man tells you that looking at your child makes him angry and resentful, there is no more love for him coming from me. Let alone him trying to cut out your BC. Change the locks OP or move out NOW.
To me, that was a direct threat towards the child. Anyone who gets angry looking at a child, because he looks like someone said-person hates is a blazing red flag.
Aw man, I read this one recently and it hadn't been updated in over a year, so I hoped Mark reading it meant there had been an update.
I'm guessing OP realized if she had been leaving information for internet sleuths to find her, then her boyfriend would be able to too and stopped posting. Which means if we ever get another update from her, it'll only be once she's safe. And I do hope that's sooner than later - the ex is psychotic.
Those internet sleuths finding and posting her state honestly could have really f_cked her. I hope they realised that.
I have nexplanan
It’s under Several layers of skin
That is Terrifying.
She Needs To Leave, NOW.
Edit:
This was a very terrifying story regarding her ex.
‘Living on borrowed time’!?
How did he manage to pretend to be normal for so long.
A Serious case of Jekyll and Hyde.
Its scary to think that this might haven’t ended in a safer place if she didn’t have family and friends to surround her.
I’m SOOOO glad Op fled and filed a restraining order against this psycho. He has shown to not only be a danger to OP (trying to directly remove her right to bodily autonomy by forcibly trying to remove her birth control implant but also indirectly by forcing her get get pregnant when he wanted her to) by also her son (openly resenting/becoming angered her son solely because the son isn’t his bio child). I’m fully convinced that had op not’ve had her implant, her psycho ex would’ve committed a different type of assault.
Read title : Wtf ?
Listen to story : Wtfff ?
That's so horrifying 😨😨
Internal BC is to be removed by a professional only. It certainly wouldn't be safe to remove it with some germ covered box cover.
I had implanon for about a year. Had to get it out due to issues with it. Ended up getting scar tissue build up around it. Its supposed to take around 20 minutes to take out but due to the scar tissue it took about an hour. Implanon is not something you can take out by yourself. I was close to going to the er to get it removed while under anesthesia. I feel like some are thinking you can just pop it out like a zit. Not the case. Girl in the first story would have to be cut pretty deep to remove it and thats if its not imbedded. Dude is a psycho and it seems like the threat of not having a child when he wanted made his mask slip...
I used to work as a medical assistant at an OB/GYN and I assisted the doctors with procedures. Supposedly they're easy to get in but a total bitch to remove. I only assisted with one removal and, like you, scar tissue built up around it and it took forever. There's no way her ex could've removed it that easily. He would've had to hack deep into her arm figuring all he was a box cutter and he didn't have any forceps. Good thing her med didn't knock her out totally and she woke up. Her ex is a psycho. I hope she's safe.
I'm glad she got support. Her mom is a hero protecting her daughter and grandson. The ex is revolting and vile.
Cheebus this is insane. Also OP needs therapy; I'm alarmed at how little she trusts herself and values her and her child's well-being and safety. Seems like something isn't right in terms of how she thinks of herself and the world.
ofc the police will barely do anything about this untill something bad happens. -_-
She said something about how her default position is assuming things are her fault, so I would agree there’s probably some issues there that need addressed. But considering she made the initial post just hours after it happened (and, notably, that she had taken a strong sleep aid before going to bed), she probably was not thinking 100% clearly either.
comes from years of being gaslit by someone. I wonder who gaslit OP in her life besides her now ex. (the fact that she doesn't mention a father for herself might be a clue, idk)
You need to run, run, run for the hills. This dude is absolutely insane
I was already WTFing hard at the title but damn this got worse and worse and worse. I hope OP and her son are alright now. Glad, they have such a supportive family that didn't even hesitate! This was seriously scary.
This might be the most insane story I´ve ever seen on reddit. Sheesh. Glad OP has an amazing family and an experienced lawyer helping her. But it makes me wonder if something happend to ex that made him snap or if he was always like that and was just really good at hiding it.
The fact she continuously over-explains and over-apologises really says that this man was showing signs way before this incident and was likely emotionally abusive.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son, that my midwife asked that I come to one appointment alone. She explained to me that it’s very common for domestic abuse to begin during pregnancy, so they now at the beginning of pregnancy, have an appointment just with the Mother, to warn her of the signs of domestic abuse and to give her information she could use to get help if abuse did start. I was flabbergasted but also really impressed, that was 16 years ago, they still had the same appointment when I was expecting my daughter 14 years ago.
It’s not uncommon for the nice guy act to drop once they think they have her trapped. The love bombing/ nice guy stage is never who the abuser really is. The OP is fortunate that she saw the man under the mask when she did! He has no claim on her or their son - so many women are continuously abused via custody hearings/ arrangements and passive aggressive comments through their child.
I’m just horrified that a man can be about to cut his fiancé open, and there is no way the police can charge him. That’s a psychopath! He is capable of literally anything!
The most dangerous time for a woman is when she is pregnant her chances of getting cheated on or killed by her partner increases tenfold. Why are men?
yes it’s heartbreaking, you would think the fact that she was carrying their precious child would be enough to stop them from hurting her. Unfortunately, many men target their babies too. Trying to induce miscarriage. We live in an evil, evil world! Narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy are more common than we would like to believe! Thankfully not all men are monsters and I would like to believe that the majority of men are good, decent human beings. Research suggests 7.7% of men in the general population are narcissists,1.2% are psychopaths, 3-6% are sociopaths - I can’t find information on the percentage of men who are abusers - however just looking at the statistic above, that is a lot of men!
This comment is what I was looking for, and I'm honestly so shocked that no one else is even bringing up the fact that the police told her that they couldn't do anything since he didn't harm her he basically did nothing wrong even though he threatened her life by saying she's on borrowed time threatened her life by attempting to mutilate her arm to remove an IUD to then rape and impregnate her.
@@corvuselizabeth9747 yes, a man that is capable of cutting open his fiancé as she sleeps is extremely dangerous - yet he gets to walk the streets! You would think they would encourage her to get him to record him admitting to what he did - so that they could charge him. I swear it’s like they can’t be bothered at times!
@@eden-caledoniajohn3168 Sadly they don't care and couldn't be bothered to even help out
I had alarm bells at the title but a BOX CUTTER while OP was under medicated sleep. FLEE NOW! ESCAPE! RUN! DON'T LOOK BACK! 😱
When he told OP that everytime he looks at her son he gets angry I was thinking that she needed to leave then. But then he tried to cut her implant out of her arm? Oh hell no! That's down right beyond scary. I also want to know why he wants a baby right now so immediately. That type of a mental switch is extremely concerning.
Baby = Anchor in the narcissistic psychopath's mind. 🙄
… Well FU*K, guys. How’s this for a holiday story? In all seriousness, I’m so glad both OP and her son booked it because I have a feeling they BOTH would’ve ended up on the news (if you know what I mean).
Who ELSE was FREAKING TF OUT when OP took a sleeping pill after that conversation? I understand that unhinged behavior came out of the blue, but for someone to suddenly turn on someone they love and their child like that? RUN.
I’m so happy OP has so many loving and supportive friends and family banding together, having her back.
i hope there is an update to this first story cause it was on a couple years ago, its a very disturbing story and i wish it was not even on reddit...its just horrible she had to go through all that
Story 1: The moment he said the child made him angry, I would have been gone, and then he tried to cut out ops implant? I hope op never goes back
Hell yeah me too. Any love I had for him would've died right there 🪦
She let her kid down.
I hope this is a HUGE learning lesson. She could have been raped and killed. she about married a rapist. (he wanted to force a baby on her and tried to cut her open) and she says he isn't abusive. BULLSHIT! She's lying to herself and that in turn failed her kid. She let this man around her kid. This man ready was being emotionally abusive to the kid. He hated the kid b/c he looked like her ex. Think about that..... he wanted NOTHING to do with that kid. Think about it
Mates, be better mothers. Dont marry predators. Dont be an enabler of abuse.
btw- #MeToo
I think the "i want you to be pregnant for the sake of it no matter what is your opinion" would have been a huge enough red flag but yeah as soon as he would start to bash my son in front of me i cut him off and leave right then and there!
I know how abuse can manipulate but in these cases it is not just your life is on the line. It is your DUTY to keep your children safe!
Story one: it's about control and dominance. Not love, family, and a baby of his own. He will bounce and it won't work. Now you know just how crazy he is with the box cutter.
The point is that he wanted a baby because of himself. That was a red flag! You get a baby FOR THE BABY.
It is not about the parent!
The worse part that he would not leave. :( ( if you meant bounce by that). That would be a blessing if he would abandon the family at this point. He is a psycho and a danger to the family.
I saw another story about how a guy insisted that he wanted kids.The woman wasnt ready,so he poked holes in the condom,and got her pregnant. So now she has postpartum depression, he doesn't like dealing with the kid,and she wants to leave him.
Hah , this reminds me what I saw happening all the time in the court in my town. Lawyers, myself included, say to the clients "Be as short as possible with your answers".But no, when they start talking...It's like "Ah yes I remember Jesus...He and I went to school together", and then it goes on for an hour like that, where everyone forgets why we are there in the first place, judge gets a headache....Before the hearing I even write them and print what to say, but it doesn't work...Nervous to much XD
“Living on borrowed time.” He’s essentially saying “I’m gonna kill you”.
That first story Jesus CHRIST. I get having trouble reconciling the one night of horror against the months or years of kindness, but you cannot let yourself believe the one night of horror was a fluke. It's too dangerous if you're wrong. And you almost always are in this situation. When a seemingly kind man suddenly turns into the devil, run. He let the mask slip. That was his true face. And especially with a kid in the mix, you absolutely cannot afford to stick around hoping it wasn't.
Story 1 save every message and text. Then file a restraining order.
What's getting me is that he was SO crazed and desperate that he couldn't wait EIGHT MONTHS until the birth control expired. He's a total maniac and I'm glad OP and her son were able to get out of there safely because JFC!!
So glad she got out. My sister almost lost her life to an ex that got jealous over something similar. My sis had no warning when he snapped and hurt her. I'm glad this woman did and she ran for it.
I've had nexplanon before and it wasn't easy to remove. Took at least 30 minutes. And it really hurt when the numbing wore off, can't imagine how it would feel with no numbing and insufficient knowledge/tools. Not to mention risk of infection because I doubt this guy even washed his hands, let alone sterilized the box cutter
Bruh I just finished watching a 40 minute video and came to see if you posted yet. I'm greeted with "posted 1 minute ago." Fucking golden timing
"why are you posting about this on reddit so soon after it happened" is a great question that's not asked often enough
Well...that would be no more sleeping pills for me at that point....no more sleeping either! Good Luck OP, where ever you are.
The moment he said your child is worthless is the moment you should have left.
I would’ve called the police immediately after hearing story 1, that is sincerely scary.
I also got the idea that it might be a psychotic break. Both because it was a sudden change (even though OP might have just been blindsided) and also because the box cutter plan was so irrational it would make sense that it came from someone who isn't right in the head at the moment. But even if it's the case, it's great that OP removed herself and her child from that situation.
It was not a sudden change.. no age from fiance says it al. An older controlling idiot that love bombed her.
@paulina de boer ya it's basically a trap set from the beginning. This guy has motives ans saw it in a target who never know what true insanity.
He could have been lying, or during this theoretical mental break, but didn't he say to her that he looked up how to remove them? 😰
I don’t think it was a mental break. Mental breaks often don’t follow any consistent logic or reason, and they are typically upset by things that aren’t entirely related to the true cause of the break. If he was stressed by work or his family, his upset would have been something entirely irrelevant, or at least not entirely related to WHY he was suffering. This is because breakdowns are not logical or intentional.
Here though, his behavior sounded very calculated; he started the conversation about having more kids, she told him no, he kept trying to convince her, and when she refused he ACTIVELY looked up how to remove her implant and tried to do it quietly in her sleep. It was all super coherent and intentional, and followed through with a line of logic that’s easy to follow. He did this shit on purpose.
That is horrifying, the pure terror of having someone you trust and were supposed to be safe around, turning on you like that. I hope she is doing better now.
Not gonna lie… had my partner said that he resents me and my child because the child wasn’t his, I would dump him right then, right there. I’m so so horrified on OPs behalf that she was accidentally with a psychopath.
OP's mom is a god damn champion
I was just thinking about this story the other day. It was crazy!!
Holy hell. Run far and fast. He's a monster. He's angry at looking at the stepson? Why be with a woman who has a child from a previous relationship?
I always find it so messed up that during cases of restraining orders and abuse, the victim /has/ to sit in the same room with their abuser. There’s seriously no other way? All it does is discourage victims.
I’d love a follow-up to this to confirm if the guy was a gaslighting psycho or if he had some sort of breakdown
What I think of this situation?
Pretty much what most other people have probably already said;
He was going to cut her arm open with a goddamn boxcutter?! What if he'd hit an artery or something?!!
The guy's a flippin' psychopath and OP needs to keep herself and her kid as far away from him as physically possible.
If my fiance ever told me my child makes him angry I would leave him immediate.
And Baby trapping is an awful act .
As soon as he said looking at her child made him angry that should have been a sign to leave right then. Then it only got worse.
Man resents my child
Man doesn't feel connection to my child
Man doesn't respect my decision to wait for a baby
Man tries to cut me in my sleep
Man gaslights me about trying to cut me in my sleep
What should I do guys?
YOU REALLY DONT KNOW???
Oh dear God OP 1 needs to run and run far!
Living on borrowed time sounds like he's going to unalive her OP stay safe
This kind of man scares me. The kind that goes from sweet and kind and loving to trying to cut you open and threatening your life because you had the audacity to leave him and file for a restraining order.
Five seconds in and THROW AWAY THE WHOLE FIANCE HOLY FUCK
The moment he said he doesn't care about your son and he resents him and the boy makes him angry you should have been done.
The fact that she needed convincing to leave this abusive relationship is just sad, having a child with a guy like this would just make it more toxic and abusive.
Story 1, even if fiance shouldn't be sent away for trying to hurt OP, he proved he doesn't want to be a father to her son and she should never marry him. RUN, run, run.
25 with a 2 yr old is not someone who should be having a new baby. I'm glad OP knows that.
Even if her body can that is not enough reason to have a baby in the first place.
Does not matter the reason, if someone says no then it is official!
Story 1: I’d have left him after he expressed how he felt about my son. If he can’t accept my son, and he only feels anger when he sees my boy? Then I can’t trust him near my child, or myself. I’d kick him to the curb, call family and inform them as I’m packing, leave, and pay for security cams to be set up after filing a police report. That’s all BEFORE the box cutter.
My God, that woman needs to get police immediately! Thankfully in the update she did. I've been there, though luckily no kid was involved. My fiancée, the knife, everything. It's terrifying. I still fear him after thirty years!
Dread to think what he’d’ve tried to do if she had an IUD.
Dude doesn’t wanna wait 8 months but he’s gotta wait 8months possibly 9 anyways 😂
"Where Papa is" God that's sad. Ex never saw him as a son but he did see him as Papa
Stories like this are why I sometimes amuse myself by planning what to do, in case I need to hide and fly under the radar for a while.
OMG I really hope that she told everyone who could help her get out of there and keep him away from OP. That’s terrifying. She could have died and he was trying to just cover his footsteps. Seems like landlord was understanding. Didn’t know about ex partes or civil standby but will definitely suggest them to people who are in a similar situation. Still scared for her but so glad she and her baby got away.
I have the exact same implant… the three years expired in late June and I need it removed with an ultrasound because it got too deep into my skin. Earliest appointment was next week (set the appointment in early July), so I’m excited but nervous to get it out finally. I’m switching to the pill after this.
I can NOT IMAGINE someone who is not medically and professionally trained to TRY something like this. Obviously it’d be painful… but as someone who has it, god I can imagine the pain very clearly.
I just hope that OP and her son is completely safe from that insane ex. Her mom sounds amazing, thank goodness she was there for OP to rationalize what to do.
Also: if your partner is not ready to be pregnant, END OF DISCUSSION. Especially if they’d be the one to be pregnant. Unwanted pregnancies are never good, and it can lead to resentment to the innocent child. Being a parent is something you have to both agree on, and agree on when to start trying to be pregnant. Ex was immediately in the wrong for pushing OP about it, but even more wrong and insane for that attempt of harm!
I'm horrified he found online instructions on how to remove Nexplanon!
@@sarakrauss2407 Sounds like he learn about the surgical procedure, but failed to realize that he's not a medical professional. And that his ex-fianceé would've scream to the heavens if was in the middle of removing it because *there was no anaesthesia.*
Looking at your son makes him angry…..YOU THEN TOOK HEAVY SLEEP MEDICATION AND PASSED OUT IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HIM. Goddamn some people are dumb.
To be fair I had an implant and honestly... I'd never imagined my partner coming at me to remove it. So this is something I'd not put down to dumb, since the attempt to remove it was unexpected.
O. M. G! 😧 OP needs to gtf out of that relationship last week! He just sees her as a walking incubator for his seed. He’s willing to cut her open and remove her birth control just to get what he wants. He’s a monster! Don’t marry that man! He’ll just be abusive towards the OP and her son after he thinks he owns her once the wedding ring in on her finger.
It's terrifying how people dont't realise how derranged their partners are until is too late
I'm sorry, but after he said that about her kid I'm horrified that she didn't leave immediately.
If he can't love your child like his own then he's not going to be a very good father to his own..
In long enough to say RUN don't walk OP
To think that I lamented being single and childless. It’s scary to think that there are men like this. Virgin spinsterhood seems a lot more appealing.
She keeps saying that her situation sounds like badly written fanfic and no, no it does not. If she keeps thinking that, then she needs to start reading better fanfic after she and her son are finally done of that jerk.