Bmblb being forced has little to do with adam that main reason it feels forced is because Blake has been flirting with Sun for 5 seasons and then getting with with yang during the 6th with little development
@@Emisop I'm pretty sure Monty's just been spinning in his grave contently since V4. Rooster Teeth is just doing what the toxic side of the fandom wants instead of doing what they and Monty wanted to do.
What triggers me most is that Adam literally said “Forget her” like he didn’t care and thought the Faunus were more important in volume 3 and RT completely forgot about this...
Y’know what would’ve been interesting? When we see Adam without the mask, we see the burn mark that says “SDC” which stands for “Schnee Dust Company”. It would be interesting if Weiss was with her team, she sees the burn mark of her family logo On a Faunus and we get to see her reaction. Because of Adams burn mark, that made would’ve made Weiss see more about Faunus discrimination. This comment may not be much about Adam and more on Weiss but I still think it’ll be interesting. I also like this rewrite of Adam and Blake being old friends instead of Adam being an abusive ex
It's wild when you realize Weiss never interacted with Adam considering she is one of the two characters prior to the fall of Beacon to have a real stake in what the White Fang does and the fact that Adam presumably has that axe to grind with the Schnees AND the fact that the Schnee company logo means nothing when they reveal it.
2:52 Adam: "Blake is working with a Schnee?" Blake:"Adam is working with Torchwick?" Ki-Adi-Mundi:" The droid is defending the Wookies?" On a serious topic, I enjoy your minimal changes approach to your Adam rewrite.
Thank you! I never understand it when people effectively rewrite the entire lore of the show for these sorts of videos. I just don't see how completely changing the story makes it "better" than the cannon.
@@twiinsiink I could see why people would rewrite the entire lore because RWBY is kinda bare bone in a way but at the same time, you don't need to rebuild the whole house if the front door have a problem. So what I trying to said is less is more (am I using the word right?). I enjoy doing a whole rewrite but I wouldn't mind doing minimal changes to the show.
@@twiinsiink Yeah, that's something I could never get into, some people go into rewriting dust and the societal structure. Might as well start their own story.
This is amazing. It removes the shipping element, the voice actress input, victim complex, mysigiostic male and strong independent female elements and focuses solely on character development and world building. Blake and Adam's relationship is understandable. Blake, ilia and Adam want what's best for the faunus in different paths, Weiss encounters Adam (with my only issue being she never sees his face and scar) and Blake killing Adam in defense of Yang represents the value of life (and not the power of lesbians). Thankyou for this video
It really goes to show how wasted his character was that so many people take time to come up with a better idea. It's baffling that Adam's archetype is so played out and that he is such an important asset to explore an area where the show is so lacking, and they still screwed it up royally. I honestly think M&K killed him because they knew the terrible job they did. It was really just mercy, he was murdered by the script many times before.
I kind of feels like Miles and Kerry intended for Adam to lose and get thrown in jail at the end of volume 5, but then suddenly decided to use him to help bumblebee develop for volume 6. Blake has all the "i'm not here for you" lines during the V5 finale, but then arbitrarily decided to let Adam escape because she's not allowed to beat her Ex with Sun- she has to do it with her new girlfriend next volume. Adam's characterization seems to mostly be a victim of the poor planning for the volumes, and the time crunch that so negatively effected Volumes 5 and 6.
@@twiinsiink They probably intended for him to join Salem, seeing the last scene with him in V5, but just like Yang going after Ruby in V4, it ended up as just a "clever" misdirection.
@@ProxyDoug That would have been the direction to take. I would've definitely liked to see Adam a part of Salem's faction. So desperate to save the faunus he literally ends up joining the darkside.
I think killing him off was the only way the writers knew how to end his story arc. It's a shame the White Fang as a faction has been purged from the story too. But RWBY never had great writing to begin with. They created this cool world and don't know what to do with it.
@@michaelflores9220 that's the problem. The writers don't know how to do a subplot or have multiple villains without making the main plot and villains entirely irrelevant
@@michaelflores9220 Nobody gives a flyin' fucc about Salem, look at Vol. 8 she's basically Discount Ozai final boss kinda villain, and only Cinder really matters anymore.
Even if you don't agree making Adam look like a threat is that much of a top priority, with how much he's been built up in both the Black Trailer and Volume 3 he definitely shouldn't be one-shotted like how he was in volume 5.
Yeah. It should've been made more apparent that the plot's end-goal of that fight wasn't to defeat Adam, but just to knock his mask off (making him feel vulnerable with his mark of shame being exposed). If he was still on both feet from the hit, that would've worked perfectly.
@@MrAuthor3DS Thats clever, also a point could've been made in regards to Adam, that by the time, his aura went down, he would've already managed to Kill Blake, Sun and the rest of the Squad before the reinforcements arrived, meaning making Adam run away is cleverer than sacrificing many lives, in hopes of bringing him down, since Salem still had the rest of her henchmen inside the academy. Another point, is that Salem's goons when returning to her after her failure, should've blamed Adam for their failure initially, instead of Cinder (Hazel really was displeased with Adam after Sienna's death and it was Adam's fail that let Blake get in the way), only to have Salem state: "Those who failed, know it so well they havent even bothered to show up and admit it to my face", this would essentially require Cinder to prove herself up again and Adam to be in a very precarious position, since he has no faction of goons anymore.
I have no idea why they dropped the sympathetic but over-zealous angle the white fang clearly had in season one. It was such an interesting angle and actually could have made the white fang and faubus as a whole more interesting and lent some credence to the whole faunus discrimination idea. We don't even have any racist slurs toward the faunus; at this point the only one who might actually be discriminatory is the scheme dust company because of their logo on Adam's face but that's basically just a guess since we never learned why adam had that scar. Edit: Changed "faubus" before discrimination to "faunus, oops.
This is exactly one of the gripes I had about this "racism" thing. The White Fang at first sounded like a legitimate organization of revolution. The way Blake spoke of it referred to it as if it were a home to many and symbol of change, but obviously one that had been morally corrupted. But to see it just dive into a, "No, no, they're ALL terrorists now! Except the New White Fang, because our heroes are apart of that one!" It kinda just takes away the value of well... seeing value in their cause.
I feel like they never really expanded on the Faunus hate in RWBY, which disappoints me. Would’ve loved to see more of the White Fang, and even learn more about some of its members. Adam for sure deserved better than what he ended up as. This is one of the reasons I dropped RWBY completely, the other being how the series apparently isn’t doing so hot in general from what fans are saying
@@ANameToGoBy Right? We could’ve had more scenes with them instead of just “oh they’re bad guys let’s kick their asses!” kind of thing. I hate it when they introduce interesting villains, only for them to be fodder for the main characters to beat up
@@susie1175 it's sometimes good, depending on the season. Last season was actually pretty good. I'm a bit behind and haven't seen 8 at all, so I can't say. There are definitely parts where I would not blame you at all for dropping the show and I'm not going to tell you to get back into it but there are definitely good episodes and often good seasons. It's a mixed bag and never really great but it has moments.
You know, I just thought of something. What if we saw some Faunus that hated the White Fang? Like, humans respect Faunus, but it's respect out of fear, rather than actual equality and some Faunus hate that because it's not true equality. Or maybe the White Fang's extreme actions made things worse for Faunus, like humans believe all Faunus work with the White Fang, causing them to hate the White Fang as well. They seem largely disconnected from Faunus as a whole, largely existing as part of Blake's subplot.
This was a great rewrite It's honestly a shame how such subtle changes like this that could have greatly improved the show were missed in favor of redundant and dumb scenes like Salem interrogating Cinder over whether Ozpin is alive, something Salem already knew about and was a scene that existed solely to tell the audience, "Hey guys, Ozpin is still alive!"
This is a really good rewrite. Personally I would' ve had Adams mask break in volume 3 in his confrontation with Yang. Yang attacks Adam, Adam barely dodges the attack, but gets his mask knocked off. Yang (but not the viewer) sees Adams scar, gets distracted and Adam cuts Yang down in a fit of rage. I would also put a bit more emphasis on Adams hatred the Schnee Dust Company, and their shady dealings. That would also make for some decent foreshadowing. Adam' s character short would finally reveal what was under the mask and imply how he got the scar.
Your rewrite had me floored. Your subtle changes would make Adam into such a fantastic, morally grey villain. And don't get me started on that Adam/Oscar scene. It's genius if you ask me, having Oscar's development and Adam's surprise appearance occur simultaneously. Wonderful job!
After the current seasons pace, I honestly think they should have kept Adam alive for the atlas arc. There is a lot there he could have done alongside Tyrion. It would have had more significance coming from someone with SDC scared into their face a real shame they went with the route they did. He could have been the one to ultimately Kill Jacq only to realize vengeance and revenge was meaningless. Now hollow he slowly realizes he wasted his life only to become the monster/beast they saw him as from the beginning. Seeking death he ultimately faces off against Blake/Yang and loses, he doesn't have to die because Blake realizes with Yang's help and the extra training from Atlas academy they don't have to kill him to subdue him. Ultimately he could become a character that seeks redemption for his many sins defending the city full of humans he once loathed from Grim. Been held in jail or countless other options instead of the lame waste he ended up being.
I'm going to let you know that I didn't really read your comment much because I don't know if it has any spoilers for volume 7 in it. But I will say that from what I've seen so far Tyrian and Watts are doing a perfectly fine job acting as antagonists without the "Faunus/Racism" subplot butting into the Evil Council's spot light *again*
I had this idea of Adam following Team RWBY to Atlas, not because of his obssession with getting his girlfriend back, but because he wants to save her from the "evil humans". While in Atlas, he becomes a Robin Hood-type figure to the downtrodden Faunus; protecting them from harassment and assault, making sure people get fed, even playing or spending time with the children there. I came up with this before Volume 7 was released.
@@kevCjm6dhhihiujkbbhjhvcfyhuiij But let's not get ahead of ourselves, he is just a man...at least he was...until he found his way into Maya's default background and found the four relics - the remnants of the gods. Out of the four of them, three rejected him. The relic of knowledge, creation, and choice going to his enemies, team RWBY, Ironwood and Atlas (and wherever the relic of creation is). While the relic of destruction stayed.
Been thinking about this LMAO material so much, what if Adam devellopped a Evil Twin by merely looking at a mirror? Why? Case He's Adam Fuccking Tauris thats why!
Its pretty good, Adam required far more build up to justify the threat he posed though I do think Weiss could have been a bit more relevant to this arc and at that point we may as well have made Adam a threat for the entirety of team RWBY to deal with. Its especially irked me how Weiss and Ruby haven't had a single interaction with Adam for the entirety of the series run time. Still this rewrite gave focus where it was needed and if M&K had just thrown in a few extra scenes to establish these relationships/rivalries the end results would have been considerably more effective.
@@twiinsiink Pretty much, I do like that Yang never went out of her way to try and face Adam until she needed to (you typically want to avoid the trigger to your PTSD) but she hadn't gone through the necessary smaller battles to make the showdown with him more resolute. Though In my opinion Yang overcoming her PTSD to save Ruby from him would have been quite a bit more impactful.
@@michaelflores9220 she only had hallucinations about him twice. Once 1 volume 4 2nd time in volume 6 the other times were just hand shaking for i guess her anger i guess
@@michaelflores9220 her hand shakes also outside of her PTSD triggers like when she was talking to raven in volume 5 when she knocked out bandit guy same volume and talking about blake being gone same volume
Despite the fact you kneecapped yourself trying to keep consistent to the story we got is incredible. The thing about all these rewrites is that it goes places. It’s not afraid to break tropes like the writers desperately cling onto
Hey Arnold that’s what I meant to say yea. I don’t think tropes are inherently bad. But, the way they’re utilized in RWBY just feels they’re tropes for the sake of having tropes. Nobody’s character has subtlety because it feels like if they break the trope or use it differently then they think it’s wrong
I Appreciate the new video in awhile. While I'm one of those people that like to entertain myself by listening to how others would like to "change" how RWBY should've been written, I still think rewrites that changes only portions of the show without changing the majority of the narrative is also great. I like a lot of the points you made, especially how you addressed the issue of his death via self-defense and the immediate budding relationship immediately after, especially because the idea of killing someone close to you being a really traumatic experience, is not really a good time to set your ship sailing, in a matter of words. With all of these points you bring up, I'm only frustrated as to why Miles and Kerry decided to go in the direction they went with Adam's character up to this point. Getting rid of the abusive aspect of Blake and Adam's relation is quite literally the best way to fix the dynamic between these two. I know Miles and Kerry never liked Adam even before Monty decided what to do with him, but the motivation to make him be a spurned lover of Blake always felt like an ill-thought character motivation that was almost like shooting themselves in the foot. You made this one particular character the most unlikable person in the show, but you know you have to bring him back because he's detrimental to the character progression to one of your main protagonist, so shouldn't you fleshed out this character a little bit more? In context to what's happening as of vol 7, All I understand is that It's evident with the show that Miles and Kerry are not qualified, or at the very least, capable of handling really sensitive or dark thematic subjects like racism or abuse and giving it the proper nuance or subtly it needs. When it comes to dealing with really intense subject matter, I feel as though you have to tread lightly, other wise you end up delivering a really skewed message with a ham fisted delivery. I feel as though Miles and Kerry have no business writing this kind of stuff in this show. A show like RWBY, shouldn't try so hard to be this mature and dark show, especially when its roots was in the over the top action stuff and general light heartedness. It may be too late to say this, I feel like they may have jumped the gun with shifting the tone, when it was definitely not ready to go into vol 4.
Thank you! Don't forget that Miles and Kerry are not the only ones writing for RWBY Volume 7. They've brought on 2 other writers and some new directors as well. So, if you find Volume 7 to be lacking in some way, make sure you check to see who wrote any given episode you were unhappy with, as the "blame" shouldn't fall solely on Miles and Kerry.
*completely sincere clapping* This perfectly sums up a lot of what I feel Adam should’ve been like. Like, it’s 100% better. Could keep some of the more angry outbursts, more of a struggle with his inner conflict on hurting Blake vs not hurting her, because I think we could consider Adam has some mental disorders (PTSD or the like) because of the trauma, lack of therapy, and years as a soldier. Not having learned better ways of dealing with his aggressive tendencies. (Something similar to two other characters RT did in RvB; Locus and Sharkface) Also would’ve liked if some kind of comparison was done with Adam and his scar with Yang and her arm. Both of them disfigured by an antagonistic force, both suffering traumatic memories from it. (That is something else that muddies the canon too, besides the self defence angle. Adam kills those who (he sees as) having hurt him. Yang kills the one who hurt her. Frankly, with Yang’s other angry outbursts, I can’t help but see her as a potential Adam)
I love this rewrite, but I would've added in Adam trying to kill Blake at every chance he could before the attack on haven. It's not because he's a bitter ex, but rather because he despises traitors and if Tuckson being killed in volume 2 is any indication, this might be possibly true as even though Mercury did the deed and Roman said he had Tuckson taken care of, that doesn't immediately make him the one to keep the faunus who worked under him in volume 2 in line.
I dunno why but it's 3am and I just read the entirety of the comment section and I still think you've done an awesome job. I'm one of those people who watch and try to enjoy the show and has this nagging thing at the back of my head that goes 'I think something's very wrong' but I could never tell. And your videos and reviews help put all that into perspective. There's so much that goes into making these vids and I'm sure most of us appreciate it so keep up the awesome work /*-*/ also I never comment I'mprobablydrunk but but aaagh your RWBY Discussions keep me breathing thank you
One thing that always bugged me about white fang is number of attackers in haven. Was that all white fang soldiers or just spec-ops team. Why they didn't have reinforcements? Also why did Adam kill his comrades when he got back at haven. There was no build up to it.
From a writer standpoint, Adam killed his comrades so that the writers didn't have to worry about the White Fang radicals that wouldn't accept Ghira's leadership. They can say, 'Oh, they all got killed by Adam. Lol ironic.' But from a story standpoint, it doesn't really make sense. You could make the argument that Adam was always selfish and was just showing his true colors, but like you mentioned, there's no build-up to it. They essentially turned Adam into a morally bankrupt villain so that they didn't have to spend too much time on his character and subplot. Lazy writing at its finest.
Why am I seeing this just now? I LOVE IT! Also, side note: I know we're removing the abuse route on this rewrite, but dang, in the context of the actual canon, the double standard of Arryn going, "Victims of abuse can become abusers themselves" strikes me hard when we now know that Adam has been abused in the past as well and yet they all want him dead. (Not excusing his horrible acts, of course, but y'know.)
I really like this rewrite! Of all "Adam rewrites" yours is definitely my favourite. You made him an interesting character without changing his entire life and story. Now I'd really want to see you doing the same thing with Oscar, especially his "arc" in volume 6. I really like our little farm boy. I knew why others didn't care for him, but I couldn't understand why the would hate him. Now I know why. I was incredibly disappointed and mad when he came back in episode 9. I felt like the trailer and poster simply lied to us by focusing our attention on Oscar. Anyway, good job! I really hope you'll do something similar in the future.
for me, all Adam was for Blake was a teacher. that's how i'll always see it. not some abusive ex, but someone who taught her how to fight and defend herself. a teacher who slowly lost his way.
This my favourite rewrite of Adam's character for several reasons- going back as far as volume 2 to fix the white fang subplot, keeping his personality consistent, using his previous affection for Blake to make him not actually want to fight her (again, consistency), recognising the parallels between Ilia and Adam, fixing the coup against Sienna Khan, showing his branding and making his death a tragedy. This is also one of the only RWBY rewrites that made me like Bumblebee- the shipping scene happens at an appropriate time!
This is really good! I would just change that Adam cuts Yang's arm so easily, since Monty's original idea was to them to have a epic fight. Adam can cut her arm after this. Another add that can be interesting is when Adam and Oscar meet. At some point, probably by the end, Oscar looks at Adam scar and: Oscar: Hey, hm, are... Are you alright? Adam: ... Does it matter? Oscar: Well, the scar DOES look bad and- Adam: OF COURSE IT DOES! There's a tense moment of silence, then: Oscar: S-sorry, I just wanted to help... Or something. Adam: And why would you do that? Oscar: Why wouldn't I? I mean, you look like you need some treatment, and, well, you really doesn't look fine. Adam: Again, Why would you do that? Oscar (confuse): Because... You look like you need it? Adam: Even to a Faunus like me? Oscar: Why should it matter? And this actually shocks him. Because Adam in confronted with a truth that he probably always knew, but refused to see: Some human don't care about being a faunus, they do not look at it. They look to a person, and care for them regardless. Thought Adam really needed to face this, or all we saw of him could feel empty. Seeing Adam havin an positive character arc, even if he died anyway, could feel much more satisfying.
I'm actually impressed by this tbh. I haven't seen of how to change Adam completely videos but you showed me that less is more. You didn't rewrote the whole story to make Adam better. You just make small changes that just makes it so much better to view. It really shows that even if you made a slight effort, it pays off a lot in the end. You're really good at this :D
"Instead of a power grab it's because he feels she's holding the faunus back" I quote, from his theme; ahem... "Behold your Flaccid Leaders/ Too weak to take the prize/ Replace them with/ A Warrior/ It's time we mobalize" Once again, the songs offer clearer and more concrete characterization than the actual show. I feel like Jeff and Casey should write these songs before a character is made and the tell the writers "This is how they're gonna work."
Tbh any rewrite that shoots for consistency with Adam's character is okay in my book. That's why most rewrites that follow the whole "descent into extremism" or "misguidedly violent in defense of a proper cause" tend to work out. That's the angle for both Adam and the White Fang that we were originally given. It's okay to make Adam an abusive person if that's an angle you want, just...probably /less outright abusive and more subtle. Otherwise it's cartoonish asf. Give /weight, then, to the decision to leave one's abuser, and the echoing impact of one's history. Address the issue in more than sub-subtext. Still include the shit about White-Fang-centric and faunus (faunas?) betrayal, and not just himself, since a majority of his lines are so focused on that initially. btw like your rewrite it feels like you've actually integrated a character into a story imagine that.
Tbh I wanted Adam to have a redemption arc like Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender however unlike Zuko, Adam doesn't have a supporting Elder to guide them down the right path like Uncle Iroh
Thats what makes it interesting Adam doesnt know, any better, personally I think if he had a episode like Zuko where he returns to Menagerie and has everything he wanted (in a dream scenario), he'd probably be able to resolve his inner conflict.
Yeah you definitely did this better than the show. The only thing I would have done differently was keep Adam alive. Have him simply be defeated and fall into the Waterfall and maybe lose his memory. Maybe spend time recovering thanks to help of some kind humans so that when he regains his memories it changes his outlook on things. You can maybe even have him fall in love with someone else or become the Hero of small human village. So when he comes back into the story he realizes Blake was right and he returns as an ally. Possibly even aiding Blake in her fight against Salem. It's really disappointing when we miss out on so much potential story. Thats pretty much my feelings for RWBY in a nutshell.
This is a breath of fresh air. Comparing this with the actual show, this is way closer to what people had an idealized Adam as being based on the black trailer and foreshadowing in the show. Thanks.
Well, I've listened to your suggestions, and now I have two big questions: 1) Can I give you a thousand more likes on this video? 2) Can this whole thing be canon???
This is pretty great. I'd change a few things though. First is the relationship between Adam and Blake. I wouldn't make Adam and Blake romantically involved with each other at all. I'd be more in favor of familial relationship like a big brother/little sister. I find that to be more fitting and would give the reluctance in their encounters more weight. Because the romantic angle I find to be cliche. But having to kill someone you once considered as family is crushing. Also I'd tweak Adam's death a bit into that he wants to die in their final encounter(but we don't know that till the last second) Sort of like a redemption for him(like Illia's a bit), but one with a tragic ending. Adam would start down this road with his encounter with Blake at the fall of Beacon. Blake stating how much of beast Adam's become at the fall of Beacon. That if he would go this far to further the faunus(while also implying that faunus did attend Beacon) where would he stop? But he deflects saying he didn't kill them, the Grimm did. Moving on, after killing Sienna he realizes this and believes himself to be a beast. He would breakdown massively, but knows he can't stop himself. So he goes after Blake, his former student of sorts, hoping for her to end him( playing on that mentor role). The battle haven(at that point his whole role in life as weapon of the white fang is a front, but it's the only left with him seemingly) would still play out like you said. Then he would encounter Blake again at the CCT tower and Blake would still try to save the humans there by drawing Adam towards her. Showing that character development that she won't run away anymore. Then the fight would commence, but I'd also change is that Weiss goes with Yang to save Blake. I really want her to see that scar. That would really fuel her to take down her father and reform the SDC and restore the honor of the Schnee family(setting up for Atlas). Anyways the fight continues how it would go(with the addition of Weiss). In the final phase they would pull of a team attack on Adam which overwhelms him and they all go in for the final blow of the attack(to shatter his aura), but he blocks, absorbs it, and then dishes out the damage shattering all of their aura. They all get sent flying backwards away from each other(Blake would land in front of the waterfall on her back facing Adam), awake but unable to really move, stunned, as a result of the attack from Adam. However, after that attack Adam drops to his knees his aura shattering shortly afterwards, but he gets up still moving(albeit it's taking him much effort with each step) towards Blake who's still stunned. Yang and Weiss try to move to Blake but they're still stunned from that last attack. Adam advances(maybe stating on his way over how he was fighting for justice, security, and equality for the faunus) towards Blake, sword drawn ready to stab her and end it. Blake recovers just enough from being stunned grabs her shattered sword(or the broken half of it the one without the hilt attached because I still want her blade to break) and they both stab at each other. However, Adam misses on purpose(sword inches away from her away from her head), but Blake doesn't(she's trying to live y'know). We would see Blake look towards Adam's blade and then her blade(piercing through him and maybe we see a drop of his blood on her face really setting in how she just killed somebody), Blake then realizing Adam missed on purpose her eyes go wide with shock. Adam then proceeds to fall to his and before he falls into the sea he tells Blake this(or something along these lines): "If......you.....truly believe your methods.....will bring justice and equality to the Faunus.......then prove it". This showing that their difference was truly ideological and that Adam was a man who fought for the same cause, he believed his way was just, but ended up lost. He had been hurt to severely and walked his path too long. After that falls into the sea with with the blade of sword still in him, but as he falls he turns camera pans in and we can see a slight smirk on Adam's face. After that Blake goes over what happened and just breaks down, Yang and Weiss recover enough from being stunned and rush to Blake and comfort her. And the story will continue from there. I'd really like that at the end of this when they reach Atlas they show their weapon upgrades that we see Blake's weapon upgrade is just that her blade is red now. Showing she took Adam's blade with her. Seeing as how she'll carry that weight with her from killing Adam but repurposing his former sword fighting for justice the way she believes to be right and hoping that no other faunus meets the same tragic fate as Adam.
This. I like this. The dialogue you proposed seems a bit heavy for someone who should be struggling to even breathe at that moment, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. I've read another comment that proposed Adam lives the encounter with severe memory loss, which I think would go pretty well with this. He would be brought to a small village inhabited by humans, and they would nurse him back to health. He would slowly gain regain his memory, first of the abuse, the of his time as a White Fang member, then meeting and bonding with Blake, and finally their last encounters and the realizations he had came to. He would have a bit of a breakdown, realizing how much pain he must've caused, and wondering what could he do with the life he had built in the meantime at the village. I feel it takes away from the impact of his death, though. What do you think?
Eh, I don't know. Team Salem now has a larger following post Volume 7. I personally hope for a dour ending, just another cycle in this immortal struggle because I'm bitter about how they handled the show.
I had an idea of a fanfic. where adam doesn't attack during the Haven attack. but rather he returns in mantle. After the Haven attack, he was almost fatally wounded and barely alive. Blake and yang fight him, without the whole Angry ex-boyfriend but someone who truly believes he is some savior. Blake and adam fight, both trying to convince the other but near the end. they both realize how it must end. Adam manages to overpower blake, but yang jumps in. The two keep fighting till blake returns. The three keep fighting, with the others at haven wanting to intervene. but can't due to fear of hitting their allies. Blake and adam clash, resulting in both their blades breaking. This stuns adam long enough for yang to come and hit him with her semblance active, this causes Adam's aura shatters and he is knocked back, but he ends up pulling yang's prosthetic with him. causing her to have a panic attack, reliving the moment. Adam grabs the broken part of his sword, causing his fingers to bleed but he keeps pushing. He attacks blake one last time, but she manages to avoid his attack and stab him with her own broken blade. The two lock eyes, with adam showing signs of regret and blake tearing up. Adam colapses, with blake kneeling beside him. Yang manages to pull herself together and walk over, pulling blake away from the scene and comforting her. what they don't notice, is adam climbing to his feet and escaping, only to fall into a river (like cinder did). He loses consciousness and blacks out. Suddenly, he wakes up to a human tending to his wounds and it cuts. Later on adam is shown slowly recovering, with a human child helping him. He is conflicted and begins to learn more about how humans aren't all what he believes. Later he begins to change, instead working like the old white fang did. Soon becoming a large figure of Faunus and human coexistence. he instead defends faunus and humans from discrimita this won't be fully shown but hints will appear, like a poster of a silohette of him. or, his broken sword being used as a symbol. just something to hint he is still alive for the main characters to notice. He eventually meets with team rwby in volume 8, after rwby sent out to as many people to help fortify the last school. When the people arrive through the portal, the grim attack them. only for a new group to come and save them. With a surprise being adam leading the group of humans and faunus to help the refugees. Blake makes it through the portal but yang doesn't and she soon locks eyes with adam. this time, he is holding a shield instead of a sword. symbolizing himself as a protector instead of an attacker. they fight along side each other, like old times but once everyone is safe, they finally speak. that's all I had in the drafts. I might end up writing it later, not too sure yet.
I really like this and just wanted to add onto it, I feel like during the fight with Weiss Adam shouldn't say the line "Finally I get to kill a Schnee." right away. I think that at the beginning of the fight Adam doesn't recognize her as a Schnee. He knows she's a hoity toity rich human just based on everything about how she looks and acts, but he doesn't seem to be bothering with this fight, maybe he doesn't even use his semblance at this point. He seems almost stoic as he fights and while it looks like Weiss is holding her own Adam is uncaring to the point of nervousness. But around 2/3 of the way through the fight he notices the Schnee Dust Company Logo on her and that's when the puzzle pieces click into place for Adam. When he realizes this he fights with twice the speed and three times the fury as he kicks Weiss's ass. As the fight nears its climax then he says the line, but now it feels so much more personal to Adam because we know what he fights like when he has no personal interest in it and also when he does. This should not only strengthen our connection between Adam and the audience but help raise the tension of future scenes. I just wanted to put my two cents in, great video.
Y'know. I like this rewrite of his character best. I've seen a lot of rewrites and they all keep him as the abusive ex. Like, by vol 7 I'd genuinely forgotten abt the black trailer and the sketch in vol 2. Those two things paint Adam as a wildly different character! You managed to take what looks to have been the original plan and expanded on it. I love it!!!
Now _this_ Adam has a fair bit to chew on. The one in canon was so two-dimensional that he still felt like an insulting caricature even after his mask got shattered, but this one could have been really engaging and maybe gotten a few tears out of the audience when he finally kicked the bucket.
God, I didn't like Arryn Zech after her constant BMBLB talk, but saying that abuse victims 'get a pass' on abusing others is beyond fucking asinine. I was in an abusive relationship for half a year that left me with crippling PTSD. If I slapped someone and used that excuse, fun fact, I'd still get arrested.
In my rewrite I made Adam OP as fuck, not only to make him more intimidating but also to show the extent of his motivations and the fact that he'd be a much more central continuous villain thats objectively a sort of "end game boss" so to speak. He'd be stronger than any of the already rather weak looking villains with the added baggage of a much more improved character, role, and ideology.
What if, instead of an a possessive ex, Adam was an assassin trained by Raven to radicalize the White Fang into a militent group? Raven would be the leader of this assassin faction that works to actively undermine both Ozpin's and Salem's plans. The implication is that the man who traumatized Yang was raised by her own mother. Having Adam be a mentor not a jaded lover to Blake makes Blake's connection to Yang that much more significant. Taking this idea even further, turning the tribe of bandits into an assassin organization serves as a more credible threat. Qrow and her joining Beacon would have a more nefarious purpose, perhaps they intended to assassinate Ozpin? But Qrow couldn't do it. He got to close to their friends and defected to Ozpin's side. Since their team's fallout, Raven has maneuvered her assassins into key positions. Adam was ordered to get close to Blake, turn her against her father, and kill Sienna Khan. His hatred for humans was an act to incite violence. Cinder and him working together was Raven playing both the White Fang and Salem for her own purposes. I could add more, but I think this kills a whole murder of crows with one stone.
Not exploring Adam's past and how he was wounded is honestly a huge disservice to his character. It'd be like if we skimmed over Pain's backstory in Naruto.
No, it really isn't. Adam's characterization, especially in this rewrite, is pretty simple, and more powerful because of it. He's a well intentioned extremist who is fighting for equality for his people. That is pretty easy to communicate through showing how faunus are discriminated against and oppressed, and easily maps on to real world phenomenon. The established suffering of faunus, goals of the white fang, and reveal of Adam's scar is plenty to demonstrate why he went down the path he did. It does not strain the suspension of disbelief to think that a character who is from an oppressed group, part of an organization actively working towards the empowerment of that group, with a clear and traumatic grievance against their oppressors would resort to acts of extreme violence to accomplish their goals. It is true of literally tens, or even hundreds of thousands of people living today, and many more throughout human history. Pain needs a backstory to explain his goals and motivations because they are utterly ridiculous and unrealistic. A single person attempting to personally threaten the entire world into submission through absolute destruction because of his personal trauma is neither realistic nor relatable. A LOT of work has to go into making that threat credible, and the idea that a single person would be that obsessed, delusional, and powerful enough is not at all consistent with our lived reality. Pain's backstory was necessary because otherwise his character and what he represents is laughably over the top. Adam's character is much more down to earth and easy to empathize with on a thematic level. Shit's not that deep, neither RWBY or Naruto are high fucking literature.
I'm glad that this rewrite keeps most of the stuff from the show the same with only a couple tweaks around. A lot of rewrites seem to entirely change things that makes it off as if the creators of them too absorbed in fanon.
I love the way you did adam and I think it was amazing I personally loved adam before all the new rooster teeth stuff and what you have discussed is really how i would have liked to see it
This rewrite was great! It flows so well from the previous volumes and makes Adam an actual character with good and bad qualities, rather than just a mustache twirling cardboard cutout. I think what you could have done with the Oscar scene involving Adam [if you had to expand on it] is that you make it seem like Adam asking the information from Oscar on where the others are is the "point of no return" for his ultimate fate of dying. As in, the scene presented has Oscar trying to find somewhere quiet to contemplate all these reincarnation issues and his own feelings, and he stumbles upon Adam leaping over the Argus backwalls. Adam and Oscar lock eyes before Adam barks out that he was with the others at Haven, and demands to know where they are. Oscar tries to invoke Ozpin, but no luck, and he gets the cane embarrassingly parried away from him by Adam, Wilt and Blush still in its sheathe. Oscar falls to the ground, tries to reach for the cane, and with a flourish, Adam kicks it away, unsheathing Wilt, saying that he won't ask again. Oscar panics, almost hyperventilating as the sword is drawn and pointed to him. Oscar spills the information, and the camera is cut so it focuses up close on Adam readying to stab Oscar, but a small flash of fear from Oscar's face appears on Adam's blade like a mirror, which gets Adam to hesitate, reminding him of the fear or circumstances that led him to being branded. Thereafter, camera just focuses on Oscar, as you hear Wilt being sheathed, and Adam walking on by to the end of the alley, pausing for a second as he looks towards the forest CCT [where Blake and Yang will be later], and then back to Oscar on the ground frozen with fear, and the wall that he earlier lept over. Adam pauses, collects himself, and heads towards the CCT, sealing his fate. [Sidenote for oscar: he could be so preoccupied with his fears of trying not to give more bad news to the gang when he comes back later, as in he doesn't want him returning to just be another bad omen, and he just hopes this red haired guy doesn't appear, but throughout the ship hijacking, you see him possibly torn in two on what to do, only deciding to warn Blake and Yang at the last minute but by that time happens, Blake's taken the local CCT down. It's too late.]
Thank you so much for this! The progression of Adam was slowly degrading and all of us could see it. To see how they handled his character in the canon was really disappointing and I believe your take is much more refeshing and an overall better version of him.
You know looking back on Adam and the Volume 4 writer commentary conversations, and...you know everything..... did Miles and Kerry think the white fang were a cult? For real. With Corsic and Finnic, and the whole creepy vibes written and undeserved murders like the messenger and other characters, other than Illia and some people at the battle of Haven. They framed a civil rights movement of two sides, one for peace and the other to fight back against their oppressors...as just meaningless squabbles. The White Fang were just automatically a bloodthirsty cult with nothing to take of them beyond their leader who was an abusive creep. It just feels so wasted when you think back on it, and almost kind of offensive 😞
I feel like Blake slapping Sun could have worked with some adjustments. Firstly, don’t have it in a comedic scene or have her slap him more than once. Instead have Sun pushing and poking at her with information or revelations about the white fang. When she can’t take it anymore, she slaps Sun (only once). When she pulls away angry, she sees that Sun is only concerned and realizes that pushing away her loved ones is only making them more worried about her and possibly that she is becoming an abuser herself. See! Having it be meaningful to Blake’s character arc and emphasizing that it is out of character or bad could actually make it work.
You're a braver soul than I. Too bad RT doesn't care as much as you do. Also are you still planning on continuing through Vol. 6 and into 7 with your episode reviews or did those get put on hold for awhile?
They were briefly on hold for a little bit there, but we are continuing forward! V6 episode 6 has been written and recorded, and is in the editing phase!
Love this re write. I want to add that if anything i would involve weiss more into as well. So she can see his face and realize the crap her family did.
@@twiinsiink For me the only thing over complicated about his rewrites is how many restrictions he places on himself. Hit all the major plot points, change as little as possible, have 20 10-minute episodes. What do you find over complicated?
@@abezevlag7337 Keep in mind I really haven't watched one of his vids in awhile, so I'm not super brushed up on how he works. I just remembered him adding a lot of elements to his Volume 1 rewrite. But it sounds like I might be off on that.
@@twiinsiink He does add, change and remove a lot of little things. With all those small tweaks I get how you could remember it as being overly complicated.
@@ProfessorFanatic Celtic knows that which is why he keeps major plot points the same while changing minor ones so that it all fits together. He even said that after v3 he'll start making major changes so that he can keep the deck of cards standing. For me his biggest restriction is making each volume have 20 10-minute episodes which isn't fair on himself since RWBY never had a set amount of episodes. If he let go of that he could tell the same story in much less episodes and with much better pacing.
I honestly think the Adam romance was a poor choice regardless of the abuse element. I felt that Adam and Blake had more weight to the relationship as friends/mentor and student. Evil ex boyfriend is overdone, if i wanted that I would just watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
i always knew it bugged me but i couldn’t figure out the solution. Merely shifting the shipping moments to later and making Blake’s opinion of Adam a more genuine bittersweet ending friendship/mentor ship is so much more engaging While also removing the forehead touch, something equally as intimate and ship heavy but also meaningful WITHOUT romantic subtext is just letting Blake actually genuinely break down about Adam and letting Yang hold her close. They do it for a split second before they just haaaave to include the hand holding and forehead thing and meaningless dialogue. Just let them stay for a moment and let the gravity of their actions sink in. While Blake sobs in Yang’s arms, we could also see individual reactions. Blake’s breakdown over Adam and while being held by Yang, has a small moment to really look at the new metal arm because the reuniting and reconciling technically only really began that volume anyway. Meanwhile we can also see a reaction from Yang because following your edit, she witnessed that Blake still couldn’t kill Adam after what he did and is now seeing her freak out over losing him. She could have a slight frustrated look in her eye but ultimately shuts her eyes and chooses to pat Blake’s hair while she sobs. That little bit of nuance acts as a set up for the future because not everything is just fine and dandy let’s go clubbing when you get in a relationship, especially one that has the baggage that Yellowjacket has but we can see them organically work through it and grow closer instead of “boom ur dating”
5:30 I would've much rather have this. But I would think Adam challenging her for the title of leader would be better and would do 2 things. 1) show us that adam respects her and isnt a coward who back stabs other faunus but is willing to kill them if he has too for the goal 2) it would have shown us that she is not weak and there is a reason she is the leader
i love this rewrite tons!!! i remember watching this video when it came out, but im not sure if i commented on it. if i have, whoops! i agree with a lot of the ideas youve laid out here, especially keeping adam from being an incel & instead having him (understandably) be upset that one of the closest people in his life had 'betrayed' him for a human. i think the only thing that would add more to the adam & blake arc would be to replace yang with weiss. i mean, she is a schnee! i think she should've in the canon show at least met adam, it would have been interesting to see how she reacts to learning that the SDC puts brands on faunus who were working in the mines (i think thats what happened to adam?). maybe adam is the one that gives weiss the scar on her eye, or she loses an arm like yang, or she gets another scar, mainly i just think weiss should have been involved in the white fang subplot instead of yang. the goal would have been to have all the main girls interact with & acknowledge adam as a threat but, can't have everything :,] . but yeah, i especially love the idea of adam meeting oscar!! the audience would be on the edge of their seats since we know that guy hates humans, but maybe he has a slight change of heart, maybe he says something like "you're just a kid.." to oscar, which lets the audience think about things like maybe adam's reconsidering? maybe he's changing his ways? i think that woulda been a lot better then we got :,] awesome discussion vid!!!
Adam To me, should have been a Good motive lost under Sheer madness, Genuine believes what he's doing is right, trying to get Blake to come back to the white fang, not because of any romantic interest, but because he believes that she's fighting on the wrong side.
Speaking of humanizing villains, do you think RT will ever decide to humanize Jacques Schnee? In a show that tells us that things are not always clear cut in terms of morality, we don't really have much in terms of actual backstory or motivation for him aside for only caring about profit and the success of the company. Now make no mistake, I'm not desiring him to be a sympathetic person, but I am in favour of making him a more understandable person. Because while a sympathetic villain is good some of the time, I believe that antagonists need to be understandable as to why they do crappy things. Just imagine an single outburst from him when he's been pushed too far along the lines of, "You never had to eat garbage out of a dumpster!" Considering his personality, I wouldn't be surprised if Jacques grew up in abject poverty as a youth with barely any control over his situation. Maybe he grew envious of the more well-to-do members of society that constantly looked down upon him for being poor, which led to him swearing to himself to never be poor again, and to use any method to be rich no matter how scummy it may be? How would you try to humanize Papa Schnee to be more understandable as an antagonist?
The only thing I would change is to have an full Team RWBY vs Adam Fight instead of just Blake & Yang, it feels incomplete with just half of Team RWBY.
-Weiss doesn't know Blake is a faunus, they have fought about it previously to foreshadow. It should be revealed to the audience during the Sun arc. On the train, Adam meets Weiss. Weiss is ready to fight and talks about her distaste towards the white fang. Adam should take off his mask to show Weiss what was done to him. The camera should cut off his eyes (for hype) and then focus only on Weiss's reaction. Weiss should be more hesitant to fight and tries comprehend while Adam gets more and more angry at her ignorance. The two fight. It ends up getting Blake involved and this is when Weiss finds out Blake is a faunus and the relationship between Blake and Adam is revealed. After the fight is over/interrupted, Blake and Weiss talk about it and Weiss accepts her as a faunus. Blake asks Weiss to keep Adam a secret until she can talk to him again. Blake then reveals to her friends about her being a faunus. Weiss's 'racist' arc ends in a more satisfying way. She feels guilt but she is determined to change the SDC. We can see she has changed because when velvet was bullied, she would turn a blind eye (or doesn't say anything). But now when Velvet is up against the paladins, Weiss defends her.
Do you think it would be cool to have Weiss knock his mask off in a fight then when she looks at his face she'll recoil in horror, making the watchers go "wow, now i really wonder whats under that mask" Since weiss's story is about her not being racist anymore, that couldve been a moment when she really thinks about it all.
I think it be interesting if the last part of the fight with adam vs blake and yang, blake is about to kill Adam but can't bring herself to kill her former partner and freaks out, causing her to block an attack from yang, stunning both Adam and yang, before they decide to let him flee
At least when Adam asked for information from Oscar, he didn't attack cuz . . . . 1. He just wants information & is probably saving his strength for his big fight later on. 2. he's just a kid and even ADAM of all people would recognize that killing him wouldn't even be necessary nor worth it. Why does RoosterTeeth even need to continue to torture Oscar's character? Just because he's the new host of Ozma/Ozpin? Repeat after me. *"WE PROTECT THE FARM BOY, AT ALL COSTS!!!!"*
The way you introduce Adam into this series is almost too smart for RWBY. Well done.
Wow this actually makes Adam a lot more bearable and makes Bumblebee feel less forced
Agreed.
Bmblb being forced has little to do with adam that main reason it feels forced is because Blake has been flirting with Sun for 5 seasons and then getting with with yang during the 6th with little development
Tru
@@nintendoyoshi6778 Monty said that team RWBY was a sisterhood. So making Bumblebee canon is like spitting on Monty's grave.
@@Emisop I'm pretty sure Monty's just been spinning in his grave contently since V4. Rooster Teeth is just doing what the toxic side of the fandom wants instead of doing what they and Monty wanted to do.
What triggers me most is that Adam literally said “Forget her” like he didn’t care and thought the Faunus were more important in volume 3 and RT completely forgot about this...
Exactly! At the point she was nothing more than a coward for leaving the Fang, and he was more focused on their real goal.
Or Volume 5's suicide attempt.
Y’know what would’ve been interesting?
When we see Adam without the mask, we see the burn mark that says “SDC” which stands for “Schnee Dust Company”. It would be interesting if Weiss was with her team, she sees the burn mark of her family logo On a Faunus and we get to see her reaction. Because of Adams burn mark, that made would’ve made Weiss see more about Faunus discrimination.
This comment may not be much about Adam and more on Weiss but I still think it’ll be interesting.
I also like this rewrite of Adam and Blake being old friends instead of Adam being an abusive ex
Almost everyone is saying that.
And that it's a missed opportunity.
Benjamin McNeil Agreed. That’s pretty much what this show is.
A show full of missed opportunities
FlimsyCone I actually saw it as SOC when I first watched the episode😂
True. More character growth for Weiss and less forced gay couple.
Or You Could make Weiss break Adam's mask with a blow during their fight in this rewrite
It's wild when you realize Weiss never interacted with Adam considering she is one of the two characters prior to the fall of Beacon to have a real stake in what the White Fang does and the fact that Adam presumably has that axe to grind with the Schnees AND the fact that the Schnee company logo means nothing when they reveal it.
I know right!?
2:52 Adam: "Blake is working with a Schnee?"
Blake:"Adam is working with Torchwick?"
Ki-Adi-Mundi:" The droid is defending the Wookies?"
On a serious topic, I enjoy your minimal changes approach to your Adam rewrite.
Thank you! I never understand it when people effectively rewrite the entire lore of the show for these sorts of videos. I just don't see how completely changing the story makes it "better" than the cannon.
@@twiinsiink I could see why people would rewrite the entire lore because RWBY is kinda bare bone in a way but at the same time, you don't need to rebuild the whole house if the front door have a problem. So what I trying to said is less is more (am I using the word right?). I enjoy doing a whole rewrite but I wouldn't mind doing minimal changes to the show.
@@twiinsiink Yeah, that's something I could never get into, some people go into rewriting dust and the societal structure. Might as well start their own story.
@@kevCjm6dhhihiujkbbhjhvcfyhuiijIf we couldn't get him branded by a SDC table then we have to use a SDC waffle maker instead.
Probably dislike most of the aspects of the story.
This is amazing. It removes the shipping element, the voice actress input, victim complex, mysigiostic male and strong independent female elements and focuses solely on character development and world building.
Blake and Adam's relationship is understandable. Blake, ilia and Adam want what's best for the faunus in different paths, Weiss encounters Adam (with my only issue being she never sees his face and scar) and Blake killing Adam in defense of Yang represents the value of life (and not the power of lesbians).
Thankyou for this video
It really goes to show how wasted his character was that so many people take time to come up with a better idea. It's baffling that Adam's archetype is so played out and that he is such an important asset to explore an area where the show is so lacking, and they still screwed it up royally.
I honestly think M&K killed him because they knew the terrible job they did. It was really just mercy, he was murdered by the script many times before.
I kind of feels like Miles and Kerry intended for Adam to lose and get thrown in jail at the end of volume 5, but then suddenly decided to use him to help bumblebee develop for volume 6. Blake has all the "i'm not here for you" lines during the V5 finale, but then arbitrarily decided to let Adam escape because she's not allowed to beat her Ex with Sun- she has to do it with her new girlfriend next volume.
Adam's characterization seems to mostly be a victim of the poor planning for the volumes, and the time crunch that so negatively effected Volumes 5 and 6.
@@twiinsiink They probably intended for him to join Salem, seeing the last scene with him in V5, but just like Yang going after Ruby in V4, it ended up as just a "clever" misdirection.
@@ProxyDoug That would have been the direction to take. I would've definitely liked to see Adam a part of Salem's faction. So desperate to save the faunus he literally ends up joining the darkside.
Doing Adam differently instead of him being done dirty.
I think killing him off was the only way the writers knew how to end his story arc. It's a shame the White Fang as a faction has been purged from the story too.
But RWBY never had great writing to begin with. They created this cool world and don't know what to do with it.
@@michaelflores9220 that's the problem. The writers don't know how to do a subplot or have multiple villains without making the main plot and villains entirely irrelevant
@@michaelflores9220 Nobody gives a flyin' fucc about Salem, look at Vol. 8 she's basically Discount Ozai final boss kinda villain, and only Cinder really matters anymore.
Even if you don't agree making Adam look like a threat is that much of a top priority, with how much he's been built up in both the Black Trailer and Volume 3 he definitely shouldn't be one-shotted like how he was in volume 5.
Yeah. It should've been made more apparent that the plot's end-goal of that fight wasn't to defeat Adam, but just to knock his mask off (making him feel vulnerable with his mark of shame being exposed). If he was still on both feet from the hit, that would've worked perfectly.
@@MrAuthor3DS Thats clever, also a point could've been made in regards to Adam, that by the time, his aura went down, he would've already managed to Kill Blake, Sun and the rest of the Squad before the reinforcements arrived, meaning making Adam run away is cleverer than sacrificing many lives, in hopes of bringing him down, since Salem still had the rest of her henchmen inside the academy.
Another point, is that Salem's goons when returning to her after her failure, should've blamed Adam for their failure initially, instead of Cinder (Hazel really was displeased with Adam after Sienna's death and it was Adam's fail that let Blake get in the way), only to have Salem state: "Those who failed, know it so well they havent even bothered to show up and admit it to my face", this would essentially require Cinder to prove herself up again and Adam to be in a very precarious position, since he has no faction of goons anymore.
I have no idea why they dropped the sympathetic but over-zealous angle the white fang clearly had in season one. It was such an interesting angle and actually could have made the white fang and faubus as a whole more interesting and lent some credence to the whole faunus discrimination idea. We don't even have any racist slurs toward the faunus; at this point the only one who might actually be discriminatory is the scheme dust company because of their logo on Adam's face but that's basically just a guess since we never learned why adam had that scar.
Edit: Changed "faubus" before discrimination to "faunus, oops.
This is exactly one of the gripes I had about this "racism" thing. The White Fang at first sounded like a legitimate organization of revolution. The way Blake spoke of it referred to it as if it were a home to many and symbol of change, but obviously one that had been morally corrupted. But to see it just dive into a, "No, no, they're ALL terrorists now! Except the New White Fang, because our heroes are apart of that one!"
It kinda just takes away the value of well... seeing value in their cause.
I feel like they never really expanded on the Faunus hate in RWBY, which disappoints me. Would’ve loved to see more of the White Fang, and even learn more about some of its members. Adam for sure deserved better than what he ended up as. This is one of the reasons I dropped RWBY completely, the other being how the series apparently isn’t doing so hot in general from what fans are saying
@@ANameToGoBy Right? We could’ve had more scenes with them instead of just “oh they’re bad guys let’s kick their asses!” kind of thing. I hate it when they introduce interesting villains, only for them to be fodder for the main characters to beat up
@@susie1175 it's sometimes good, depending on the season. Last season was actually pretty good. I'm a bit behind and haven't seen 8 at all, so I can't say. There are definitely parts where I would not blame you at all for dropping the show and I'm not going to tell you to get back into it but there are definitely good episodes and often good seasons. It's a mixed bag and never really great but it has moments.
You know, I just thought of something. What if we saw some Faunus that hated the White Fang? Like, humans respect Faunus, but it's respect out of fear, rather than actual equality and some Faunus hate that because it's not true equality. Or maybe the White Fang's extreme actions made things worse for Faunus, like humans believe all Faunus work with the White Fang, causing them to hate the White Fang as well. They seem largely disconnected from Faunus as a whole, largely existing as part of Blake's subplot.
This was a great rewrite
It's honestly a shame how such subtle changes like this that could have greatly improved the show were missed in favor of redundant and dumb scenes like Salem interrogating Cinder over whether Ozpin is alive, something Salem already knew about and was a scene that existed solely to tell the audience, "Hey guys, Ozpin is still alive!"
I agree completely
This is a really good rewrite. Personally I would' ve had Adams mask break in volume 3 in his confrontation with Yang. Yang attacks Adam, Adam barely dodges the attack, but gets his mask knocked off. Yang (but not the viewer) sees Adams scar, gets distracted and Adam cuts Yang down in a fit of rage.
I would also put a bit more emphasis on Adams hatred the Schnee Dust Company, and their shady dealings. That would also make for some decent foreshadowing.
Adam' s character short would finally reveal what was under the mask and imply how he got the scar.
Honestly I'd like if he sees Jacques ship coming to take weiss and coming to attack it, only to be owned by the AceOps
Did....did the Lieutenant really also not tell Adam that he encountered a Schnee of all things.....sigh my freaking gosh man.
Your rewrite had me floored. Your subtle changes would make Adam into such a fantastic, morally grey villain. And don't get me started on that Adam/Oscar scene. It's genius if you ask me, having Oscar's development and Adam's surprise appearance occur simultaneously. Wonderful job!
After the current seasons pace, I honestly think they should have kept Adam alive for the atlas arc. There is a lot there he could have done alongside Tyrion. It would have had more significance coming from someone with SDC scared into their face a real shame they went with the route they did.
He could have been the one to ultimately Kill Jacq only to realize vengeance and revenge was meaningless. Now hollow he slowly realizes he wasted his life only to become the monster/beast they saw him as from the beginning. Seeking death he ultimately faces off against Blake/Yang and loses, he doesn't have to die because Blake realizes with Yang's help and the extra training from Atlas academy they don't have to kill him to subdue him.
Ultimately he could become a character that seeks redemption for his many sins defending the city full of humans he once loathed from Grim. Been held in jail or countless other options instead of the lame waste he ended up being.
I'm going to let you know that I didn't really read your comment much because I don't know if it has any spoilers for volume 7 in it. But I will say that from what I've seen so far Tyrian and Watts are doing a perfectly fine job acting as antagonists without the "Faunus/Racism" subplot butting into the Evil Council's spot light *again*
@@twiinsiink it doesn't contain spoilers
I had this idea of Adam following Team RWBY to Atlas, not because of his obssession with getting his girlfriend back, but because he wants to save her from the "evil humans". While in Atlas, he becomes a Robin Hood-type figure to the downtrodden Faunus; protecting them from harassment and assault, making sure people get fed, even playing or spending time with the children there. I came up with this before Volume 7 was released.
My fix: Abusive Ex Adam....
...was his evil twin!
@@kevCjm6dhhihiujkbbhjhvcfyhuiij TL;DR make the confusing Jellal reveal
@@kevCjm6dhhihiujkbbhjhvcfyhuiij Is number 1 a Death Battle reference?
@@kevCjm6dhhihiujkbbhjhvcfyhuiij But let's not get ahead of ourselves, he is just a man...at least he was...until he found his way into Maya's default background and found the four relics - the remnants of the gods. Out of the four of them, three rejected him. The relic of knowledge, creation, and choice going to his enemies, team RWBY, Ironwood and Atlas (and wherever the relic of creation is). While the relic of destruction stayed.
@@lunablader7913 YYESSSSS!!! I'm laughing to hard at this.
Been thinking about this LMAO material so much, what if Adam devellopped a Evil Twin by merely looking at a mirror? Why? Case He's Adam Fuccking Tauris thats why!
Its pretty good, Adam required far more build up to justify the threat he posed though I do think Weiss could have been a bit more relevant to this arc and at that point we may as well have made Adam a threat for the entirety of team RWBY to deal with. Its especially irked me how Weiss and Ruby haven't had a single interaction with Adam for the entirety of the series run time.
Still this rewrite gave focus where it was needed and if M&K had just thrown in a few extra scenes to establish these relationships/rivalries the end results would have been considerably more effective.
Yes! I agree 100% that it's a shame Ruby and Weiss never even got to see Adam face to face, let alone be allowed to develop around him.
@@twiinsiink Pretty much, I do like that Yang never went out of her way to try and face Adam until she needed to (you typically want to avoid the trigger to your PTSD) but she hadn't gone through the necessary smaller battles to make the showdown with him more resolute.
Though In my opinion Yang overcoming her PTSD to save Ruby from him would have been quite a bit more impactful.
@@michaelflores9220 she only had hallucinations about him twice. Once 1 volume 4 2nd time in volume 6 the other times were just hand shaking for i guess her anger i guess
@@michaelflores9220 her hand shakes also outside of her PTSD triggers like when she was talking to raven in volume 5 when she knocked out bandit guy same volume and talking about blake being gone same volume
Despite the fact you kneecapped yourself trying to keep consistent to the story we got is incredible. The thing about all these rewrites is that it goes places. It’s not afraid to break tropes like the writers desperately cling onto
I think it's less about breaking tropes and more about doing them properly.
Hey Arnold that’s what I meant to say yea. I don’t think tropes are inherently bad. But, the way they’re utilized in RWBY just feels they’re tropes for the sake of having tropes. Nobody’s character has subtlety because it feels like if they break the trope or use it differently then they think it’s wrong
I Appreciate the new video in awhile. While I'm one of those people that like to entertain myself by listening to how others would like to "change" how RWBY should've been written, I still think rewrites that changes only portions of the show without changing the majority of the narrative is also great.
I like a lot of the points you made, especially how you addressed the issue of his death via self-defense and the immediate budding relationship immediately after, especially because the idea of killing someone close to you being a really traumatic experience, is not really a good time to set your ship sailing, in a matter of words.
With all of these points you bring up, I'm only frustrated as to why Miles and Kerry decided to go in the direction they went with Adam's character up to this point. Getting rid of the abusive aspect of Blake and Adam's relation is quite literally the best way to fix the dynamic between these two.
I know Miles and Kerry never liked Adam even before Monty decided what to do with him, but the motivation to make him be a spurned lover of Blake always felt like an ill-thought character motivation that was almost like shooting themselves in the foot. You made this one particular character the most unlikable person in the show, but you know you have to bring him back because he's detrimental to the character progression to one of your main protagonist, so shouldn't you fleshed out this character a little bit more?
In context to what's happening as of vol 7, All I understand is that It's evident with the show that Miles and Kerry are not qualified, or at the very least, capable of handling really sensitive or dark thematic subjects like racism or abuse and giving it the proper nuance or subtly it needs. When it comes to dealing with really intense subject matter, I feel as though you have to tread lightly, other wise you end up delivering a really skewed message with a ham fisted delivery.
I feel as though Miles and Kerry have no business writing this kind of stuff in this show. A show like RWBY, shouldn't try so hard to be this mature and dark show, especially when its roots was in the over the top action stuff and general light heartedness. It may be too late to say this, I feel like they may have jumped the gun with shifting the tone, when it was definitely not ready to go into vol 4.
Thank you!
Don't forget that Miles and Kerry are not the only ones writing for RWBY Volume 7. They've brought on 2 other writers and some new directors as well. So, if you find Volume 7 to be lacking in some way, make sure you check to see who wrote any given episode you were unhappy with, as the "blame" shouldn't fall solely on Miles and Kerry.
*completely sincere clapping*
This perfectly sums up a lot of what I feel Adam should’ve been like. Like, it’s 100% better.
Could keep some of the more angry outbursts, more of a struggle with his inner conflict on hurting Blake vs not hurting her, because I think we could consider Adam has some mental disorders (PTSD or the like) because of the trauma, lack of therapy, and years as a soldier. Not having learned better ways of dealing with his aggressive tendencies.
(Something similar to two other characters RT did in RvB; Locus and Sharkface)
Also would’ve liked if some kind of comparison was done with Adam and his scar with Yang and her arm. Both of them disfigured by an antagonistic force, both suffering traumatic memories from it.
(That is something else that muddies the canon too, besides the self defence angle. Adam kills those who (he sees as) having hurt him. Yang kills the one who hurt her. Frankly, with Yang’s other angry outbursts, I can’t help but see her as a potential Adam)
So in laymen terms, you will turn Adam into Magneto from the movies or the comics. That sounds like a great idea. This is not sarcasm.
I like that you clarified "not sarcasm" :)
Magneto is a pretty great character, so i'd be down with that
@@TheWildmanden but not the one from the Ultimate universe, he's just a crazy dude.
I love this rewrite, but I would've added in Adam trying to kill Blake at every chance he could before the attack on haven. It's not because he's a bitter ex, but rather because he despises traitors and if Tuckson being killed in volume 2 is any indication, this might be possibly true as even though Mercury did the deed and Roman said he had Tuckson taken care of, that doesn't immediately make him the one to keep the faunus who worked under him in volume 2 in line.
I dunno why but it's 3am and I just read the entirety of the comment section and I still think you've done an awesome job. I'm one of those people who watch and try to enjoy the show and has this nagging thing at the back of my head that goes 'I think something's very wrong' but I could never tell. And your videos and reviews help put all that into perspective. There's so much that goes into making these vids and I'm sure most of us appreciate it so keep up the awesome work /*-*/ also I never comment I'mprobablydrunk but but aaagh your RWBY Discussions keep me breathing thank you
This is the nicest thing! Thank you so much!
One thing that always bugged me about white fang is number of attackers in haven. Was that all white fang soldiers or just spec-ops team. Why they didn't have reinforcements?
Also why did Adam kill his comrades when he got back at haven. There was no build up to it.
From a writer standpoint, Adam killed his comrades so that the writers didn't have to worry about the White Fang radicals that wouldn't accept Ghira's leadership. They can say, 'Oh, they all got killed by Adam. Lol ironic.'
But from a story standpoint, it doesn't really make sense. You could make the argument that Adam was always selfish and was just showing his true colors, but like you mentioned, there's no build-up to it.
They essentially turned Adam into a morally bankrupt villain so that they didn't have to spend too much time on his character and subplot.
Lazy writing at its finest.
@@johnking9943 Scene would be better if there would have been white fang commanders arguing what to do next. Adam would just think Blake.
@@jackerty Very true.
@@jackerty LMAO XD
Why am I seeing this just now? I LOVE IT!
Also, side note: I know we're removing the abuse route on this rewrite, but dang, in the context of the actual canon, the double standard of Arryn going, "Victims of abuse can become abusers themselves" strikes me hard when we now know that Adam has been abused in the past as well and yet they all want him dead. (Not excusing his horrible acts, of course, but y'know.)
I really like this rewrite! Of all "Adam rewrites" yours is definitely my favourite. You made him an interesting character without changing his entire life and story. Now I'd really want to see you doing the same thing with Oscar, especially his "arc" in volume 6. I really like our little farm boy. I knew why others didn't care for him, but I couldn't understand why the would hate him. Now I know why. I was incredibly disappointed and mad when he came back in episode 9. I felt like the trailer and poster simply lied to us by focusing our attention on Oscar.
Anyway, good job! I really hope you'll do something similar in the future.
Wow...you put me on the edge of my seat with Oscar running into Adam...That was intense...I really wish this was canon
I love the rewrite that you did. Now that's doing the character justice.
for me, all Adam was for Blake was a teacher. that's how i'll always see it. not some abusive ex, but someone who taught her how to fight and defend herself. a teacher who slowly lost his way.
I like how you make Adam feel more calm and collected, as well as conniving.
adam fighting weiss would be huge for HIS character since he got abused by the schnee corporation...galaxy brain moment
This my favourite rewrite of Adam's character for several reasons- going back as far as volume 2 to fix the white fang subplot, keeping his personality consistent, using his previous affection for Blake to make him not actually want to fight her (again, consistency), recognising the parallels between Ilia and Adam, fixing the coup against Sienna Khan, showing his branding and making his death a tragedy. This is also one of the only RWBY rewrites that made me like Bumblebee- the shipping scene happens at an appropriate time!
Thank you!
This is really good! I would just change that Adam cuts Yang's arm so easily, since Monty's original idea was to them to have a epic fight. Adam can cut her arm after this.
Another add that can be interesting is when Adam and Oscar meet. At some point, probably by the end, Oscar looks at Adam scar and:
Oscar: Hey, hm, are... Are you alright?
Adam: ... Does it matter?
Oscar: Well, the scar DOES look bad and-
Adam: OF COURSE IT DOES!
There's a tense moment of silence, then:
Oscar: S-sorry, I just wanted to help... Or something.
Adam: And why would you do that?
Oscar: Why wouldn't I? I mean, you look like you need some treatment, and, well, you really doesn't look fine.
Adam: Again, Why would you do that?
Oscar (confuse): Because... You look like you need it?
Adam: Even to a Faunus like me?
Oscar: Why should it matter?
And this actually shocks him. Because Adam in confronted with a truth that he probably always knew, but refused to see: Some human don't care about being a faunus, they do not look at it. They look to a person, and care for them regardless.
Thought Adam really needed to face this, or all we saw of him could feel empty. Seeing Adam havin an positive character arc, even if he died anyway, could feel much more satisfying.
I'm actually impressed by this tbh. I haven't seen of how to change Adam completely videos but you showed me that less is more. You didn't rewrote the whole story to make Adam better. You just make small changes that just makes it so much better to view. It really shows that even if you made a slight effort, it pays off a lot in the end. You're really good at this :D
That's so nice, thank you!
"Instead of a power grab it's because he feels she's holding the faunus back"
I quote, from his theme; ahem...
"Behold your Flaccid Leaders/ Too weak to take the prize/ Replace them with/ A Warrior/ It's time we mobalize"
Once again, the songs offer clearer and more concrete characterization than the actual show.
I feel like Jeff and Casey should write these songs before a character is made and the tell the writers "This is how they're gonna work."
Monty should've had Jeff and Casey's song directives be canon and force Miles & Kerry to listen to them multiple times.
Tbh any rewrite that shoots for consistency with Adam's character is okay in my book. That's why most rewrites that follow the whole "descent into extremism" or "misguidedly violent in defense of a proper cause" tend to work out. That's the angle for both Adam and the White Fang that we were originally given. It's okay to make Adam an abusive person if that's an angle you want, just...probably /less outright abusive and more subtle. Otherwise it's cartoonish asf. Give /weight, then, to the decision to leave one's abuser, and the echoing impact of one's history. Address the issue in more than sub-subtext. Still include the shit about White-Fang-centric and faunus (faunas?) betrayal, and not just himself, since a majority of his lines are so focused on that initially.
btw like your rewrite it feels like you've actually integrated a character into a story imagine that.
Tbh I wanted Adam to have a redemption arc like Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender however unlike Zuko, Adam doesn't have a supporting Elder to guide them down the right path like Uncle Iroh
Thats what makes it interesting Adam doesnt know, any better, personally I think if he had a episode like Zuko where he returns to Menagerie and has everything he wanted (in a dream scenario), he'd probably be able to resolve his inner conflict.
Not only does this improve Adam's character and make Bumblebee a bit less forced, it also makes Blake's character get a huge boost as well
Yeah you definitely did this better than the show. The only thing I would have done differently was keep Adam alive. Have him simply be defeated and fall into the Waterfall and maybe lose his memory. Maybe spend time recovering thanks to help of some kind humans so that when he regains his memories it changes his outlook on things. You can maybe even have him fall in love with someone else or become the Hero of small human village. So when he comes back into the story he realizes Blake was right and he returns as an ally. Possibly even aiding Blake in her fight against Salem. It's really disappointing when we miss out on so much potential story. Thats pretty much my feelings for RWBY in a nutshell.
That is a really interesting idea. Question: what if Blake is the one who Adam is spending time with during his lost memories?
This is a breath of fresh air. Comparing this with the actual show, this is way closer to what people had an idealized Adam as being based on the black trailer and foreshadowing in the show. Thanks.
Well, I've listened to your suggestions, and now I have two big questions:
1) Can I give you a thousand more likes on this video?
2) Can this whole thing be canon???
I wasn't expecting to be so thoroughly complimented! thank you!
This is pretty great. I'd change a few things though. First is the relationship between Adam and Blake. I wouldn't make Adam and Blake romantically involved with each other at all. I'd be more in favor of familial relationship like a big brother/little sister. I find that to be more fitting and would give the reluctance in their encounters more weight. Because the romantic angle I find to be cliche. But having to kill someone you once considered as family is crushing.
Also I'd tweak Adam's death a bit into that he wants to die in their final encounter(but we don't know that till the last second) Sort of like a redemption for him(like Illia's a bit), but one with a tragic ending.
Adam would start down this road with his encounter with Blake at the fall of Beacon. Blake stating how much of beast Adam's become at the fall of Beacon. That if he would go this far to further the faunus(while also implying that faunus did attend Beacon) where would he stop? But he deflects saying he didn't kill them, the Grimm did.
Moving on, after killing Sienna he realizes this and believes himself to be a beast. He would breakdown massively, but knows he can't stop himself. So he goes after Blake, his former student of sorts, hoping for her to end him( playing on that mentor role).
The battle haven(at that point his whole role in life as weapon of the white fang is a front, but it's the only left with him seemingly) would still play out like you said. Then he would encounter Blake again at the CCT tower and Blake would still try to save the humans there by drawing Adam towards her. Showing that character development that she won't run away anymore. Then the fight would commence, but I'd also change is that Weiss goes with Yang to save Blake. I really want her to see that scar. That would really fuel her to take down her father and reform the SDC and restore the honor of the Schnee family(setting up for Atlas). Anyways the fight continues how it would go(with the addition of Weiss).
In the final phase they would pull of a team attack on Adam which overwhelms him and they all go in for the final blow of the attack(to shatter his aura), but he blocks, absorbs it, and then dishes out the damage shattering all of their aura. They all get sent flying backwards away from each other(Blake would land in front of the waterfall on her back facing Adam), awake but unable to really move, stunned, as a result of the attack from Adam. However, after that attack Adam drops to his knees his aura shattering shortly afterwards, but he gets up still moving(albeit it's taking him much effort with each step) towards Blake who's still stunned. Yang and Weiss try to move to Blake but they're still stunned from that last attack. Adam advances(maybe stating on his way over how he was fighting for justice, security, and equality for the faunus) towards Blake, sword drawn ready to stab her and end it. Blake recovers just enough from being stunned grabs her shattered sword(or the broken half of it the one without the hilt attached because I still want her blade to break) and they both stab at each other.
However, Adam misses on purpose(sword inches away from her away from her head), but Blake doesn't(she's trying to live y'know). We would see Blake look towards Adam's blade and then her blade(piercing through him and maybe we see a drop of his blood on her face really setting in how she just killed somebody), Blake then realizing Adam missed on purpose her eyes go wide with shock. Adam then proceeds to fall to his and before he falls into the sea he tells Blake this(or something along these lines):
"If......you.....truly believe your methods.....will bring justice and equality to the Faunus.......then prove it". This showing that their difference was truly ideological and that Adam was a man who fought for the same cause, he believed his way was just, but ended up lost. He had been hurt to severely and walked his path too long. After that falls into the sea with with the blade of sword still in him, but as he falls he turns camera pans in and we can see a slight smirk on Adam's face.
After that Blake goes over what happened and just breaks down, Yang and Weiss recover enough from being stunned and rush to Blake and comfort her. And the story will continue from there. I'd really like that at the end of this when they reach Atlas they show their weapon upgrades that we see Blake's weapon upgrade is just that her blade is red now. Showing she took Adam's blade with her. Seeing as how she'll carry that weight with her from killing Adam but repurposing his former sword fighting for justice the way she believes to be right and hoping that no other faunus meets the same tragic fate as Adam.
This. I like this. The dialogue you proposed seems a bit heavy for someone who should be struggling to even breathe at that moment, but it's nothing that can't be fixed.
I've read another comment that proposed Adam lives the encounter with severe memory loss, which I think would go pretty well with this. He would be brought to a small village inhabited by humans, and they would nurse him back to health. He would slowly gain regain his memory, first of the abuse, the of his time as a White Fang member, then meeting and bonding with Blake, and finally their last encounters and the realizations he had came to. He would have a bit of a breakdown, realizing how much pain he must've caused, and wondering what could he do with the life he had built in the meantime at the village.
I feel it takes away from the impact of his death, though. What do you think?
Can we just rewrite every villain? RT has done a very poor job of making any villains sympathetic or even believably motivated.
Eh, I don't know. Team Salem now has a larger following post Volume 7.
I personally hope for a dour ending, just another cycle in this immortal struggle because I'm bitter about how they handled the show.
"If you think the show did it better-"
Me: *fails to hold back snickering.*
Love this version of Adam!!
Also love your impressions of Blake xD
I had an idea of a fanfic. where adam doesn't attack during the Haven attack. but rather he returns in mantle.
After the Haven attack, he was almost fatally wounded and barely alive. Blake and yang fight him, without the whole Angry ex-boyfriend but someone who truly believes he is some savior. Blake and adam fight, both trying to convince the other but near the end. they both realize how it must end. Adam manages to overpower blake, but yang jumps in. The two keep fighting till blake returns. The three keep fighting, with the others at haven wanting to intervene. but can't due to fear of hitting their allies.
Blake and adam clash, resulting in both their blades breaking. This stuns adam long enough for yang to come and hit him with her semblance active, this causes Adam's aura shatters and he is knocked back, but he ends up pulling yang's prosthetic with him. causing her to have a panic attack, reliving the moment.
Adam grabs the broken part of his sword, causing his fingers to bleed but he keeps pushing. He attacks blake one last time, but she manages to avoid his attack and stab him with her own broken blade. The two lock eyes, with adam showing signs of regret and blake tearing up. Adam colapses, with blake kneeling beside him. Yang manages to pull herself together and walk over, pulling blake away from the scene and comforting her.
what they don't notice, is adam climbing to his feet and escaping, only to fall into a river (like cinder did). He loses consciousness and blacks out.
Suddenly, he wakes up to a human tending to his wounds and it cuts.
Later on adam is shown slowly recovering, with a human child helping him. He is conflicted and begins to learn more about how humans aren't all what he believes. Later he begins to change, instead working like the old white fang did. Soon becoming a large figure of Faunus and human coexistence. he instead defends faunus and humans from discrimita this won't be fully shown but hints will appear, like a poster of a silohette of him. or, his broken sword being used as a symbol. just something to hint he is still alive for the main characters to notice.
He eventually meets with team rwby in volume 8, after rwby sent out to as many people to help fortify the last school. When the people arrive through the portal, the grim attack them. only for a new group to come and save them. With a surprise being adam leading the group of humans and faunus to help the refugees.
Blake makes it through the portal but yang doesn't and she soon locks eyes with adam. this time, he is holding a shield instead of a sword. symbolizing himself as a protector instead of an attacker. they fight along side each other, like old times but once everyone is safe, they finally speak.
that's all I had in the drafts. I might end up writing it later, not too sure yet.
Just want to tell you how you are working well on your critics, always wanting to think objectively and always being respectful. Luv u
I really appreciate that!
I really like this and just wanted to add onto it, I feel like during the fight with Weiss Adam shouldn't say the line "Finally I get to kill a Schnee." right away. I think that at the beginning of the fight Adam doesn't recognize her as a Schnee. He knows she's a hoity toity rich human just based on everything about how she looks and acts, but he doesn't seem to be bothering with this fight, maybe he doesn't even use his semblance at this point. He seems almost stoic as he fights and while it looks like Weiss is holding her own Adam is uncaring to the point of nervousness. But around 2/3 of the way through the fight he notices the Schnee Dust Company Logo on her and that's when the puzzle pieces click into place for Adam. When he realizes this he fights with twice the speed and three times the fury as he kicks Weiss's ass. As the fight nears its climax then he says the line, but now it feels so much more personal to Adam because we know what he fights like when he has no personal interest in it and also when he does. This should not only strengthen our connection between Adam and the audience but help raise the tension of future scenes. I just wanted to put my two cents in, great video.
Y'know. I like this rewrite of his character best. I've seen a lot of rewrites and they all keep him as the abusive ex. Like, by vol 7 I'd genuinely forgotten abt the black trailer and the sketch in vol 2. Those two things paint Adam as a wildly different character! You managed to take what looks to have been the original plan and expanded on it. I love it!!!
Adam deserves better
Now _this_ Adam has a fair bit to chew on. The one in canon was so two-dimensional that he still felt like an insulting caricature even after his mask got shattered, but this one could have been really engaging and maybe gotten a few tears out of the audience when he finally kicked the bucket.
God, I didn't like Arryn Zech after her constant BMBLB talk, but saying that abuse victims 'get a pass' on abusing others is beyond fucking asinine. I was in an abusive relationship for half a year that left me with crippling PTSD. If I slapped someone and used that excuse, fun fact, I'd still get arrested.
The art for the Oscar and Adam scene though, chefs kiss.
I like your version a lot more, as well as the other edits that you included
Thank you :)
In my rewrite I made Adam OP as fuck, not only to make him more intimidating but also to show the extent of his motivations and the fact that he'd be a much more central continuous villain thats objectively a sort of "end game boss" so to speak. He'd be stronger than any of the already rather weak looking villains with the added baggage of a much more improved character, role, and ideology.
What if, instead of an a possessive ex, Adam was an assassin trained by Raven to radicalize the White Fang into a militent group? Raven would be the leader of this assassin faction that works to actively undermine both Ozpin's and Salem's plans. The implication is that the man who traumatized Yang was raised by her own mother. Having Adam be a mentor not a jaded lover to Blake makes Blake's connection to Yang that much more significant.
Taking this idea even further, turning the tribe of bandits into an assassin organization serves as a more credible threat. Qrow and her joining Beacon would have a more nefarious purpose, perhaps they intended to assassinate Ozpin? But Qrow couldn't do it. He got to close to their friends and defected to Ozpin's side. Since their team's fallout, Raven has maneuvered her assassins into key positions. Adam was ordered to get close to Blake, turn her against her father, and kill Sienna Khan. His hatred for humans was an act to incite violence. Cinder and him working together was Raven playing both the White Fang and Salem for her own purposes.
I could add more, but I think this kills a whole murder of crows with one stone.
Actually makes sense, but then Raven would've to deal with the risk of Adam striking back on her eventually and becoming the leader of her tribe.
Your version sounds better than the one we get. It's amazing how other people can make the story sound better than the actual writers.
Not exploring Adam's past and how he was wounded is honestly a huge disservice to his character. It'd be like if we skimmed over Pain's backstory in Naruto.
I don't watch Naruto and I don't know who pain is.
He could have been a composite version of pain,magnato and Vergil.
No, it really isn't. Adam's characterization, especially in this rewrite, is pretty simple, and more powerful because of it. He's a well intentioned extremist who is fighting for equality for his people. That is pretty easy to communicate through showing how faunus are discriminated against and oppressed, and easily maps on to real world phenomenon. The established suffering of faunus, goals of the white fang, and reveal of Adam's scar is plenty to demonstrate why he went down the path he did. It does not strain the suspension of disbelief to think that a character who is from an oppressed group, part of an organization actively working towards the empowerment of that group, with a clear and traumatic grievance against their oppressors would resort to acts of extreme violence to accomplish their goals. It is true of literally tens, or even hundreds of thousands of people living today, and many more throughout human history.
Pain needs a backstory to explain his goals and motivations because they are utterly ridiculous and unrealistic. A single person attempting to personally threaten the entire world into submission through absolute destruction because of his personal trauma is neither realistic nor relatable. A LOT of work has to go into making that threat credible, and the idea that a single person would be that obsessed, delusional, and powerful enough is not at all consistent with our lived reality.
Pain's backstory was necessary because otherwise his character and what he represents is laughably over the top. Adam's character is much more down to earth and easy to empathize with on a thematic level. Shit's not that deep, neither RWBY or Naruto are high fucking literature.
I'm glad that this rewrite keeps most of the stuff from the show the same with only a couple tweaks around. A lot of rewrites seem to entirely change things that makes it off as if the creators of them too absorbed in fanon.
Aw YISSS some good Adam rewrites
i just want adam to be alive so he can have a character arc
that's all i want but my dreams will remain a fantasy.
I now consider this canon... I feel like I've said this somewhere before have I said this before? Nah...
Part of me wants to make a fanfic out of this rewrite, since I won’t ever see it animated!
feel free! If you do, throw a link into the comments
Adam who ??
Adam miles or adam monty ??
There is suuuuuuuuuuuper diffrent
I love the way you did adam and I think it was amazing I personally loved adam before all the new rooster teeth stuff and what you have discussed is really how i would have liked to see it
YOU NEED A COOKIE FOR THIS GREATNESS
I really love your interpretation of Adam!
Wow this didn't even happen and yet imagining it made me feel way more emotions than what happened. Nice.
This rewrite was great! It flows so well from the previous volumes and makes Adam an actual character with good and bad qualities, rather than just a mustache twirling cardboard cutout. I think what you could have done with the Oscar scene involving Adam [if you had to expand on it] is that you make it seem like Adam asking the information from Oscar on where the others are is the "point of no return" for his ultimate fate of dying.
As in, the scene presented has Oscar trying to find somewhere quiet to contemplate all these reincarnation issues and his own feelings, and he stumbles upon Adam leaping over the Argus backwalls. Adam and Oscar lock eyes before Adam barks out that he was with the others at Haven, and demands to know where they are. Oscar tries to invoke Ozpin, but no luck, and he gets the cane embarrassingly parried away from him by Adam, Wilt and Blush still in its sheathe.
Oscar falls to the ground, tries to reach for the cane, and with a flourish, Adam kicks it away, unsheathing Wilt, saying that he won't ask again. Oscar panics, almost hyperventilating as the sword is drawn and pointed to him. Oscar spills the information, and the camera is cut so it focuses up close on Adam readying to stab Oscar, but a small flash of fear from Oscar's face appears on Adam's blade like a mirror, which gets Adam to hesitate, reminding him of the fear or circumstances that led him to being branded.
Thereafter, camera just focuses on Oscar, as you hear Wilt being sheathed, and Adam walking on by to the end of the alley, pausing for a second as he looks towards the forest CCT [where Blake and Yang will be later], and then back to Oscar on the ground frozen with fear, and the wall that he earlier lept over. Adam pauses, collects himself, and heads towards the CCT, sealing his fate.
[Sidenote for oscar: he could be so preoccupied with his fears of trying not to give more bad news to the gang when he comes back later, as in he doesn't want him returning to just be another bad omen, and he just hopes this red haired guy doesn't appear, but throughout the ship hijacking, you see him possibly torn in two on what to do, only deciding to warn Blake and Yang at the last minute but by that time happens, Blake's taken the local CCT down. It's too late.]
Thank you so much for this! The progression of Adam was slowly degrading and all of us could see it. To see how they handled his character in the canon was really disappointing and I believe your take is much more refeshing and an overall better version of him.
This is much better than the Adam redeemed type rewrites
You know looking back on Adam and the Volume 4 writer commentary conversations, and...you know everything..... did Miles and Kerry think the white fang were a cult? For real. With Corsic and Finnic, and the whole creepy vibes written and undeserved murders like the messenger and other characters, other than Illia and some people at the battle of Haven. They framed a civil rights movement of two sides, one for peace and the other to fight back against their oppressors...as just meaningless squabbles. The White Fang were just automatically a bloodthirsty cult with nothing to take of them beyond their leader who was an abusive creep. It just feels so wasted when you think back on it, and almost kind of offensive 😞
The moment when the fandom literally says: "I can fix him!".
I feel like Blake slapping Sun could have worked with some adjustments. Firstly, don’t have it in a comedic scene or have her slap him more than once. Instead have Sun pushing and poking at her with information or revelations about the white fang. When she can’t take it anymore, she slaps Sun (only once). When she pulls away angry, she sees that Sun is only concerned and realizes that pushing away her loved ones is only making them more worried about her and possibly that she is becoming an abuser herself. See! Having it be meaningful to Blake’s character arc and emphasizing that it is out of character or bad could actually make it work.
The important part is definitely that she should have acknowledged that it wasn't cool and apologize to Sun.
Twiins iink exactly
You're a braver soul than I. Too bad RT doesn't care as much as you do.
Also are you still planning on continuing through Vol. 6 and into 7 with your episode reviews or did those get put on hold for awhile?
They were briefly on hold for a little bit there, but we are continuing forward! V6 episode 6 has been written and recorded, and is in the editing phase!
@@twiinsiink Nice. Looking forward to it.
Love this re write. I want to add that if anything i would involve weiss more into as well. So she can see his face and realize the crap her family did.
Ngl I prefer your version of Adam over Celtic's, why he kept Adam an abusive ex while trying to compensate for it by making him op is beyond me.
I haven't seen many of Celtic's rewrites, but from what I have watched he seems to really like over-complicating things? But, I may be wrong there.
@@twiinsiink For me the only thing over complicated about his rewrites is how many restrictions he places on himself. Hit all the major plot points, change as little as possible, have 20 10-minute episodes. What do you find over complicated?
@@abezevlag7337 Keep in mind I really haven't watched one of his vids in awhile, so I'm not super brushed up on how he works. I just remembered him adding a lot of elements to his Volume 1 rewrite. But it sounds like I might be off on that.
@@twiinsiink He does add, change and remove a lot of little things. With all those small tweaks I get how you could remember it as being overly complicated.
@@ProfessorFanatic Celtic knows that which is why he keeps major plot points the same while changing minor ones so that it all fits together. He even said that after v3 he'll start making major changes so that he can keep the deck of cards standing. For me his biggest restriction is making each volume have 20 10-minute episodes which isn't fair on himself since RWBY never had a set amount of episodes. If he let go of that he could tell the same story in much less episodes and with much better pacing.
I honestly think the Adam romance was a poor choice regardless of the abuse element. I felt that Adam and Blake had more weight to the relationship as friends/mentor and student. Evil ex boyfriend is overdone, if i wanted that I would just watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
This is acualy really good nice job!!!
Thank you!
This version makes more sense.
i always knew it bugged me but i couldn’t figure out the solution. Merely shifting the shipping moments to later and making Blake’s opinion of Adam a more genuine bittersweet ending friendship/mentor ship is so much more engaging
While also removing the forehead touch, something equally as intimate and ship heavy but also meaningful WITHOUT romantic subtext is just letting Blake actually genuinely break down about Adam and letting Yang hold her close.
They do it for a split second before they just haaaave to include the hand holding and forehead thing and meaningless dialogue.
Just let them stay for a moment and let the gravity of their actions sink in. While Blake sobs in Yang’s arms, we could also see individual reactions. Blake’s breakdown over Adam and while being held by Yang, has a small moment to really look at the new metal arm because the reuniting and reconciling technically only really began that volume anyway.
Meanwhile we can also see a reaction from Yang because following your edit, she witnessed that Blake still couldn’t kill Adam after what he did and is now seeing her freak out over losing him. She could have a slight frustrated look in her eye but ultimately shuts her eyes and chooses to pat Blake’s hair while she sobs.
That little bit of nuance acts as a set up for the future because not everything is just fine and dandy let’s go clubbing when you get in a relationship, especially one that has the baggage that Yellowjacket has but we can see them organically work through it and grow closer instead of “boom ur dating”
Ugh this would’ve been so much better
5:30
I would've much rather have this.
But I would think Adam challenging her for the title of leader would be better and would do 2 things.
1) show us that adam respects her and isnt a coward who back stabs other faunus but is willing to kill them if he has too for the goal
2) it would have shown us that she is not weak and there is a reason she is the leader
i love this rewrite tons!!! i remember watching this video when it came out, but im not sure if i commented on it. if i have, whoops!
i agree with a lot of the ideas youve laid out here, especially keeping adam from being an incel & instead having him (understandably) be upset that one of the closest people in his life had 'betrayed' him for a human. i think the only thing that would add more to the adam & blake arc would be to replace yang with weiss. i mean, she is a schnee! i think she should've in the canon show at least met adam, it would have been interesting to see how she reacts to learning that the SDC puts brands on faunus who were working in the mines (i think thats what happened to adam?).
maybe adam is the one that gives weiss the scar on her eye, or she loses an arm like yang, or she gets another scar, mainly i just think weiss should have been involved in the white fang subplot instead of yang. the goal would have been to have all the main girls interact with & acknowledge adam as a threat but, can't have everything :,] . but yeah, i especially love the idea of adam meeting oscar!! the audience would be on the edge of their seats since we know that guy hates humans, but maybe he has a slight change of heart, maybe he says something like "you're just a kid.." to oscar, which lets the audience think about things like maybe adam's reconsidering? maybe he's changing his ways? i think that woulda been a lot better then we got :,]
awesome discussion vid!!!
Adam To me, should have been a Good motive lost under Sheer madness, Genuine believes what he's doing is right, trying to get Blake to come back to the white fang, not because of any romantic interest, but because he believes that she's fighting on the wrong side.
Speaking of humanizing villains, do you think RT will ever decide to humanize Jacques Schnee?
In a show that tells us that things are not always clear cut in terms of morality, we don't really have much in terms of actual backstory or motivation for him aside for only caring about profit and the success of the company.
Now make no mistake, I'm not desiring him to be a sympathetic person, but I am in favour of making him a more understandable person. Because while a sympathetic villain is good some of the time, I believe that antagonists need to be understandable as to why they do crappy things. Just imagine an single outburst from him when he's been pushed too far along the lines of, "You never had to eat garbage out of a dumpster!"
Considering his personality, I wouldn't be surprised if Jacques grew up in abject poverty as a youth with barely any control over his situation. Maybe he grew envious of the more well-to-do members of society that constantly looked down upon him for being poor, which led to him swearing to himself to never be poor again, and to use any method to be rich no matter how scummy it may be?
How would you try to humanize Papa Schnee to be more understandable as an antagonist?
Me: *inhales*
Also me: this is PERFECTION
The only thing I would change is to have an full Team RWBY vs Adam Fight instead of just Blake & Yang, it feels incomplete with just half of Team RWBY.
-Weiss doesn't know Blake is a faunus, they have fought about it previously to foreshadow. It should be revealed to the audience during the Sun arc.
On the train, Adam meets Weiss. Weiss is ready to fight and talks about her distaste towards the white fang. Adam should take off his mask to show Weiss what was done to him. The camera should cut off his eyes (for hype) and then focus only on Weiss's reaction. Weiss should be more hesitant to fight and tries comprehend while Adam gets more and more angry at her ignorance. The two fight. It ends up getting Blake involved and this is when Weiss finds out Blake is a faunus and the relationship between Blake and Adam is revealed. After the fight is over/interrupted, Blake and Weiss talk about it and Weiss accepts her as a faunus. Blake asks Weiss to keep Adam a secret until she can talk to him again. Blake then reveals to her friends about her being a faunus.
Weiss's 'racist' arc ends in a more satisfying way. She feels guilt but she is determined to change the SDC. We can see she has changed because when velvet was bullied, she would turn a blind eye (or doesn't say anything). But now when Velvet is up against the paladins, Weiss defends her.
Makes more sense than what RT did and would have not left me feeling disappointed and empty.
Do you think it would be cool to have Weiss knock his mask off in a fight then when she looks at his face she'll recoil in horror, making the watchers go "wow, now i really wonder whats under that mask"
Since weiss's story is about her not being racist anymore, that couldve been a moment when she really thinks about it all.
I think it be interesting if the last part of the fight with adam vs blake and yang, blake is about to kill Adam but can't bring herself to kill her former partner and freaks out, causing her to block an attack from yang, stunning both Adam and yang, before they decide to let him flee
Great video!
This was already 10x better than the crap we got. That said I would have preferred if there was more debate in ideals between them. That's just me.
I just wanted him to be a...you know. A character, and also actually make the god damn faunus racism plot mean something.
At least when Adam asked for information from Oscar, he didn't attack cuz . . . .
1. He just wants information & is probably saving his strength for his big fight later on.
2. he's just a kid and even ADAM of all people would recognize that killing him wouldn't even be necessary nor worth it.
Why does RoosterTeeth even need to continue to torture Oscar's character? Just because he's the new host of Ozma/Ozpin? Repeat after me. *"WE PROTECT THE FARM BOY, AT ALL COSTS!!!!"*
Nice rewrite of Adam well done
Only in rwby your ex is more dangerous then a assassin