this video hurt to make
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- Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024
- 10 Minute Project - Duds: Friend to yourself.
Anyone worried about me, this was recorded in October, I'm fine! But if you ever wondered how duds happen, either I am hit by the big sad or frustrated or run out of things to say around the six minute mark. There's no exact science! Anyway!
Filler Words - 1
Sentence Retakes - 3
5+ Second Pauses - 10
Repeats and Stammers - 2
Important Context if you're new! This is part of an public speaking exercise turned content creation exercise I'm participating where I record myself speaking for ten minutes then edit it down to a little thought - ideally where in I develop an idea as far as I can in those ten minutes. The closer the video is to ten minutes, the better you'll be able to tell I've gotten at talking!
Catch me live Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 11 EST on / celeritydust
Anyone worried about me, this was recorded in October, I'm fine! But if you ever wondered how duds happen, either I am hit by the big sad or frustrated or run out of things to say around the six minute mark. There's no exact science! Anyway!
the people who would do a crime for their friend, then treat themselves as good as a friend would just do a crime. like just do a crime. and i think people DO do crimes, but I dont think those people are good friends to themselves, ironically.
just saying that there are some people who are going to find this video, and they really needed to hear it, so good job. I think the person who needed to make this video the most was you, and i hope you feel stronger after whatever you've been through.
Honestly this is just the thing I needed to hear, thank you Dust I appreciate the incredibly kind and emotionally wise statement you put out there. You've certainly helped me with this video.
I feel as though I've been in a rut recently, like I'm not able to give the love and happiness to others that I want to give. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I've always struggled with maintaining a healthy relationship with myself. I distance myself from others because I feel I am unworthy of attention, of love, or I distance myself from others because I feel I'm not getting enough love, enough attention. Relationships are hard like that for me, and it's been exhausting, and I think I need to give myself a break, to be with myself.
I think my favorite thing about this comment is that you say "I feel I am unworthy". You've correctly identified that it is a feeling, a subjective claim but not an objective truth. And it's not as though feelings can't hurt or are fake, feelings fundamentally form our reality, but this self reflection is so important to giving yourself that break and being with yourself.
Good luck, Rich! o7
I want to say that I’m sorry how much this video hurt you, but I am moreover grateful for the raw honesty and exposure you published for us.
I am hard on myself too, but I am also so confused on how to balance merciful slack with disappointed frustration.
I hope we can sort out our emotions better in the future.
I think part of the reason is we are the closest to ourselves, and that is a double edged sword. On one end, we know ourselves best, we know everything we've accomplished, we can be proud of how far we've come, etc. But on the other end, we know ourselves worst, we know every mistake we've made, everything we're ashamed of doing, all the insults and pain and trials we've gone through.
For some reason we seem to internalize the pain from others more when it's towards ourselves than towards our friends. Although this depends on the person, some people may externalize it instead. What externalizing looks like is often either acting out (ex. fighting, addictions, risky behavior, etc.) or blaming and getting angry at others. (ex. "It's her fault my life sucks! If she hadn't done that I'd be fine!" or "He almost ran into me! That jerk! He should know better!")
One of the reasons I was hard on myself was I internalized the hard things that happened to me. They'd often say "it's for your own good!", "if we'd didn't do this you'd be spoiled!", "you're too sensitive! you need thicker skin!", etc. So I started to believe those things, that I must push myself hard and harshly to make progress. Even though I noticed that it wasn't helping, it's difficult to go against decades of programming overnight.
A book you might be interested is called "On My Own Side". It helped me a lot when I was very self critical, it gave advice and specific phrases to follow and monitor progress on that front. It gave a general idea of what is means to be against yourself vs on your own side.
One thing I've heard about is the sprinkler method. I forget the exact term, but it was saying that when someone is in an extremely emotional state, that isn't the time to give advice. That you want them to feel reassured, and then later when they are more calm to give them advice.
I remember reading a comment once that roughly said "It's so sad, that they are so critical, they won't even be kind to themselves". I hadn't thought of it that way before. It took a lot of years of positive words falling on deaf ears. I just couldn't believe it. Why would so many bad things happen otherwise? It took time.
The internet helped a lot with helping me feel less alone. Because there were groups of other people going through the same issues. It often feels like a taboo to discuss IRL, and can feel lonely and isolating. I eventually realized that I wasn't the worst. I had been told that so long that I started to believe it. So I tried to do things that would help me feel better. That if I was working on myself, or helping others, then maybe I could slowly climb out of that pit. That I could counter those negative voices and tell them I'm making a small difference.
I'm glad you're doing okay now! Lately I've been getting feedback, and thinking "huh? I can just do things that make me happy? I can do what I want to do?". It might sound obvious, but for a long time I felt like I had to be better, I had to be someone else, I had to do things I didn't like. What I wanted to do was always the side project, on the back burner, something that I didn't feel like showing anyone. So now when I'm told I can do those things, I feel dumbfounded. Like why was I whipping myself so hard? Why was it so hard before? Why did I feel like that was what I had to do?
Sen, I've correctly wondered at times that when you write stuff like this, it could make an incredible script. I wonder why you haven't done that yet for your endeavors! I wouldn't find it derivative at all! Even if you use ones from old videos or use this one!
@@celeritydust I am still working on how to convert written scripts to spoken ones. lol
I didn't know I was going to get into public speaking some day, so I never took any classes on the topic. I'm not exactly a good verbal speaker yet, I'm inexperienced and have some flaws that makes talking more difficult.
For a long time I preferred writing, but people aren't usually looking for writers unless you are professional quality. I've been told by people they enjoy my writing, so I started writing and blogging as a hobby. But not many people these days want to read, they would rather watch video. I understood that if I wanted to be heard and grow as a creator I would have to make videos at some point.
Some of the older youtubers I followed from over a decade ago were bloggers turned youtubers. I know it's possible, but my problem is if I read from a script it sounds forced. I can't read from a script naturally yet. For right now I've been using bullet point lists to add some structure, and then doing the rest on the fly.
At first I was afraid to talk about personal topics, because I thought that wasn't very entertaining. I didn't want to seem like a bother. I'm still figuring out what way I want to go with things.
Being a friend to myself is odd to me. Been told I should do it in therapy but I still don't get it that well
So I'm glad I have friends and a girlfriend and I'm not alone. I'm dying but it's looking more like I'm not going to die alone or be alone.
Being much own friend is hard. So I've gotta appreciate the friends I have
Stay strong brothers and sisters, no mater how long it takes with understanding and perspective that feeling passes.
It took me almost 12 years of working by myself to work it out but had i searched out help it would have been much easier
The main thing is to have patience with yourself and understand that no one is at fault. Seeking blame just feeds the toxicity.
At the end of the day, we are all just trying to protect ourselves in our own ways
> Seeking blame just feeds the toxicity.
Incredibly put.
This is the first video Ive watched from you and Im commenting for internet points
This was the saddest "ding ding ding 10 minutes" I've ever heard :D
Having said that, Casey Neistat just posted video today that's called "Do hard things". That might be good continuation (with some potential answers) to this topic
On my list!
No way. I hate that guy
😢