Yoko Shimomura - Xion Theme, Heard on NDS And My Crappy iPod-like Music Player from 2010

This sounds as genuine as I remember from 2010 and it was such a personal story.
I hadn't heard of NDS or KH 358/2 Days when I moved out from Yogyakarta in Java island to Banjarmasin in South Borneo in 2010, so when a new classmate from junior high school played an emulated 358/2 Days on the class PC, I was flabbergasted. In that instant, I fell in love with this game and NDS, then I begged my dad to buy the handheld console even though it was pretty expensive at IDR 1.8 million (US$119). He gave it to me as a birthday present and to make amend for smashing my PS1 in front of me out of rage back in 2008 which still scars me to this day.
NDS was such a perfect device for the teenage me who lived in an abusive, toxic family and school environments. Mom, dad, and big sister always yelled at each other especially at me, always ordered me around to do chores and forced me to religiously follow their demands, all while I got bullied at school for being a loner and quiet kid. I logged in to 358/2 Days, clocked in several days of quests, and followed Roxas' daily lives and ice cream shenanigans.
In that instant, I felt a sense of relatability with Roxas, a boy who was ordered around by Organization XIII, being dictated about how to act and never question things, found solace in his short time with Axel and Xion, but ultimately lost everything in the end. I didn't care about the clunky moves and boring quests because I wanted Roxas to live and find happiness, however short it could be.
Throughout the gameplay, Xion Theme consistently made me cry whenever it appeared. I loved it so much that I went to a local internet cafe to download the ripped 358/2 Days soundtracks since there was no official soundtrack at that time, just to be able to listen to it more often. It sounded low quality like it was on the NDS, then I transferred the entire 358/2 Days soundtracks to my dad's cheap iPod-like music device and listened to Xion Theme everywhere I went, whether it's at school, hanging out with friends, or riding the motorcycle around the city.
If you couldn't tell by now, 358/2 Days was my entire life at that time. All I could think about was to listen to Xion Theme every day and cry alone. At some points, I rode my motorcycle to Barito Bridge, sat on the pedestrian walk, and listened to it while watching the scenery on the bridge. For a moment, I felt like being a part of the trio and found a sense of peace.
Up to that point, I struggled with my toxic and abusive family, I struggled with internalized queerphobia and self-acceptance, all while living in a city/country where we're obliged to love our family unconditionally and never become queer because we'd be lesser than a human being.
Things then went awry over time. Around 2011, I overheard my parents at night, talking about getting scammed and losing their entire savings. I swallowed my loneliness by working on jobs I didn't like starting in high school and joined in multiple English-language competitions and won at least once every month. All the money I gained, I had to use it for myself and little sister to cope with the fact that our parents had lost their financial stability. They sold our car and soon our house, and even then I knew I couldn't attend college due to financial issues and my big sister being, as Demyx once said, a witch.
This persisted until 2014 when I graduated from high school and my parents forced me to attend college to maintain their pride by taking loans. In that instance, I stood up and said to them that I wouldn't have any of their demands anymore. I came out both as a nonbeliever and queer, they cried and yelled at me and gave me an ultimatum: Either live like I used to be and they'd give me a chance at college, or live the way I wanted but they'd disown me. So, I picked the latter.
For a couple of months between 2015 and 2016, I was homeless. I didn't have friends I could ask for help or speak up with, had to work on cheap labor jobs just to survive. At one point, I tried to remain strong but ended up crying in front of a stranger, but of course it didn't help. Then, many bad things occurred for years which ultimately scarred me physically as I was hospitalized in 2020 due to mild stroke.
This brings it to the present day, where I still don't have a stable job due to being only a high school graduate. The only salvation I have is that I have came out as queer to a handful of people I trust.
At many points in life, I think about putting everything to an end. Last year, I thought about jumping from the 4th floor. And of course, during that moment and to this day, I listen to Xion Theme. Specifically, this NDS version I heard from NDS and the crappy iPod-like music player from 2010.