What It Means To Be Demiromantic

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  • Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 101

  • @elinaihnatsiuk
    @elinaihnatsiuk 4 года назад +92

    I thought I was aromantic bisexual but not fully aromantic because if I am friends with someone I can feel romantic attraction to them. And now I've found out that it's literally definition of demiromantic.

  • @fushiashade5
    @fushiashade5 4 года назад +73

    "a squish" you found the perfect term for what I've felt so many times.

  • @laurenkrause5455
    @laurenkrause5455 5 лет назад +137

    I’ve just recently started looking into this, and I don’t know if I am Demi or not...for years I was obsessed with romantic books, dreaming of having that relationship, but when it comes to real life I’ve only ever been on like 3 first dates, all people I consider friends or close to it...and during the dates I just felt repulsed, almost like we were strangers, and like you I don’t experience crushes, all this new information is confusing me...and I don’t want to start labeling myself as something If I’m wrong, but I’m just so confused

    • @alcyone1657
      @alcyone1657 4 года назад +19

      OH MY GOSH you just described me so accurately. I just came across the term “demisexual” and I have been looking into it, but I am not entirely sure I am that yet. It’s just like you said. I read a lot of fanfics, some of them are NSFW, and sometimes I feel kinda aroused while reading it and it’s lovely and all, but when it comes to real life it’s completely different. I do have crushes, but I never really felt like something was going on, it is always like “oh this person is pretty, I think I would like to become closer to them”, but that’s just it. I have been in dates before and, like you said, it’s really awkward and kinda repulsive when I think about kissing, having sex or even involving myself romantically with them. Even when someone declares themselves to me (not that it happens very often) there is this repulse there. It’s not that I hate that person or feel disgusted by them, I just feel disgusted at the thought of romance and sensuality regarding this individual. I am more certain that I might be demiromantic, but demisexuality is still confusing. Like you, I don’t wanna go labeling myself without being sure of it, but I also want to understand what it is exactly that I am.

    • @Kate-oj8tu
      @Kate-oj8tu 4 года назад +14

      Same here. I'm just waiting for a new term to be sprung at me so that I can have that aha! moment. Honestly at times I feel like I'm a demi demisexual or demi demi romantic, it's so confusing and then I remember I also have trust issues so how does that play along with this and is that what's pushing me in a wrong direction and anyway good luck to us all cause we're gonna need it.

    • @no-cs3fx
      @no-cs3fx 4 года назад +3

      This is exactly how I feel someone help uuuus!!

    • @jostaaaa
      @jostaaaa Год назад

      that doesn’t sound like demiromanticism, it sounds like ur cupioromantic. i’d do some googling, i hope this helps!

  • @skylahenry8552
    @skylahenry8552 5 лет назад +143

    I'm so confused. I never really get crushes like how it's portrayed in the media. All that happens is that I want to be someone's friend but I also think they're cute and stuff like that(like you said, a squish). But I don't get butterflies and that shit lol. I don't know if I would develop feelings after befriending them for a while because I never really get that far unfortunately.

    • @ThoughtProvokingVlogs
      @ThoughtProvokingVlogs 4 года назад +5

      Oof. It gets worse. When you do develope feelings and have the audacity to tell your friend you will then be seen as a creep and if they still want to be your friend after your horrorific act of romantic abuse your under their mercy the entire rest of the friendship

    • @allisonscanlan4144
      @allisonscanlan4144 4 года назад

      you might be aromantic

    • @skylahenry8552
      @skylahenry8552 4 года назад +8

      @@allisonscanlan4144 i have a boyfriend now hehe so apparently not. How lucky that my first real crush since middle school liked me back :)

    • @Sentientmatter8
      @Sentientmatter8 4 года назад

      @@ThoughtProvokingVlogs story of my life

  • @nyxfryer3495
    @nyxfryer3495 6 лет назад +120

    i feel like im demi romantic and quite possably demisexual but im so freaking confused! i have had what i thoght at the time was a crush with people thay i barely know and i date them and then im suddenly repulsed i think that i was just infaquated with those people but i never felt sexualy attracted to them. but at the same time i do actualy get sexualy frustrated but i dont find anybody sexualy attracted. i am so so so confused all i want is to find somebody eventualy and be happy but im worried that once im in a relashionship ill just get repulsed again and idk what to do. yay....

  • @Akira_1008
    @Akira_1008 5 лет назад +28

    I literally have no idea wtf I am because I used to have (very few) crushes when i was younger and I do still think some people are cute/good looking nowadays but I never really saw anyone as hot or attractive. I do seem to like people more when I get to know them so that's why I may be demiromantic but at the same time im not sure if what im feeling is romantic attraction or not. However I do want to be in a romantic relationship so maybe im cupioromantic? I dont even know. I'm almost positive that I'm asexual though.

  • @nicolebarrett777
    @nicolebarrett777 4 года назад +26

    I've identified as demisexual for a while, but now I'm thinking I'm both demisexual and demiromantic... even in a relationship I don't really loVE the person I'm just kinda meh. I don't NEED a partner and I don't get those celebrity crushes AT ALL like other people do... I don't get it.

  • @owayasomething9295
    @owayasomething9295 4 года назад +17

    This is probably the closet I've come to someone describing how I feel. Because I do want sex but not with anyone particular, and I never develop crushes. It takes a long time for me to even consider someone a friend, or realise that I care for someone and admire them. tbh i'm wondering if I might be aromatic but I do want the romance package I've just never met anyone I want it with...

  • @Gahsonie
    @Gahsonie 5 лет назад +11

    Omg thank you so much for making this and actually giving examples. I’ve seen so many videos of people explaining it but they don’t go into detail. Thank you so much this helped me a lot

  • @chrysy7861
    @chrysy7861 5 лет назад +13

    This video made me realize some things, thank you! ❤️

  • @madisnzz
    @madisnzz 3 года назад +5

    I’ve had 2 crushes throughout my life.
    A boy named Brandon that I’ve known since preschool. It started in 3rd grade, which I denied until 4th and I can’t remember how it started because it was so long ago.
    Next, I had a small crush on a boy named Chandler as well. I was having problems with anxiety at the time and people not liking me, and he comforted me one night and that’s when it hit. I knew him since the 3rd grade.
    I’ve never had a crush out of the blue, I knew those boys years before it devolved into what I had. I’ve always thought dating somebody you just met was weird and I hate that I don’t understand it, I don’t understand how people can just get on tinder or something and fall in love without making any bond.
    I’ve had way too many sexuality crises (e.g bisexual, asexual, demisexual) but this one’s got to be actually true. At this point, I just don’t wanna put a label on it and tell anyone. It’s been years since I’ve had a actual crush, so it’s just weird. Lockdown has got me thinking too much.

  • @nana-zt6eo
    @nana-zt6eo 3 года назад +1

    i dont even have words i mean you literally stole them you said everything i felt about myself with the same exact words sometimes
    and im so happy right now because some time ago i found this "demirromantic" term but not people talking about it so seeing you saying what was in my mind was like really important, thank you

  • @abbysworld05
    @abbysworld05 Год назад +2

    I thought people were just joking about the asking people out that they don’t know,apparently most people do that,I noticed that I only feel romantically attracted to a guy after being friends with them for weeks/months or years, obviously I don’t crush on every guy I’m friends with,I’ve only had 3 crushes, I found out I was Asexual a little bit after turning 17 but I didn’t know I was Demiromantic until ether September or October or November,it took longer because I knew I experimented romantic attraction so I didn’t think I was Aromantic until I noticed how little I have crushes and how it’s only on my guy friends after knowing them for weeks/months or years, I also am unsure if I actually wanted physical intimacy like holding hands and stuff or if I just thought that that’s what a relationship, even tho I’m Demiromantic, the Aromantic part I feel a lot more especially since my relationships would be more low key, I’m romance favorable and I’m sex repulsed, I’ve never dated in the way most people do, when I have a crush I tell them at some point so I know if they like me or not and then at some point we go on a date but that’s when we’re actually together so I know the usually dating thing won’t work for me,there’s also a lot of risks of online dating anyway, first I gotta make a guy friend since without one I don’t have any chance cuz it sucks that I want a relationship but the attraction takes forever, at least for my asexuality that the desire is no and the attraction is no

  • @youtubeguymike8639
    @youtubeguymike8639 2 года назад

    Asexual demiromantic here! The way you described crushes just makes so much sense to me. Also the way you described dating, very true to what I’ve experienced. I’ve dated before just because I didn’t have a reason to say no. All in all very informational video and I think you explained the spectrum very well.

  • @StimmungundSchmutz
    @StimmungundSchmutz 6 лет назад +40

    I am possibly demi romantic , I develope romantic intrest but not attraction to people who arent my friends but I know, what does that mean you mind say ? Well I am interested in becoming friends with this person while knowing from character traits that I could possibly fall in love with them later. Which creates curiosity, fear and excitement but not attraction , or that typical crush feeling i can get with very close friends , which developes into love after a while.

    • @Amzy-xq8iw
      @Amzy-xq8iw 5 лет назад +4

      This is pretty much me. It's kind of amazing to see myself pretty much be explained and this comment has helped me ubdersrand myself a bit better. Before I was unsure if I was demiromantic but now I'm pretty sure I am. I feel the definitions of sexualities don't always explain things the best but when hearing examples from actual people, it gives u a better view on the sexuality

    • @blueberrymuffin_144
      @blueberrymuffin_144 4 года назад +2

      Wow. I feel represented!

    • @StimmungundSchmutz
      @StimmungundSchmutz 4 года назад +1

      @@Amzy-xq8iw I feel validated

    • @StimmungundSchmutz
      @StimmungundSchmutz 4 года назад

      @@blueberrymuffin_144 I'm glad you do !

  • @unihoshi8158
    @unihoshi8158 3 года назад +7

    For all my life, I thought I just had super high standards or something. I never found random guys or celebrities attractive and I’ve only had a handful of crushes in real life (which were all my guy friends). I didn’t had a certain preference when it came to physical appearance and I thought that it was normal. But when I looked more up into this, I might be demi. I always wondered why I never found guys attractive unless they’ve become my friend or I had a close bond with them. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but it’s nice learning more about demiromantic stuff

  • @Amzy-xq8iw
    @Amzy-xq8iw 5 лет назад +3

    Thank you so so much for making this video! It has really cleared things up for me. You're way if explaining things was very helpful and now I don't feel as confused as before. Sometimes internet definitions just aren't enough to know if that term fits u so when actual people explain their experiences it helps me understand things in such a better and helpful way

  • @jaipsskoko68
    @jaipsskoko68 3 года назад +2

    I'm bisexual and I've had a few crushes but I never really liked anyone in that way sometimes I think I like people romantically but it barely lasts for a month and then I realise I was just trying to convince myself I like them idk if that makes sense or not but I just don't crave romantic relationships at all like I thought I would. I just like sexual relationships hfjdfjiw but also I am not completely sure if I am aromantic or not thats why recently I've been thinking I might be demiromantic cause I am still young so maybe I fall in love idk !?!? I'm so confused. Also to anyone else questioning right now you will get through this im supporting you yay !! Hope I figure his out too shqkqpwe

  • @keirstenkelley2595
    @keirstenkelley2595 5 лет назад +3

    Thank you so much for this video, I have been questioning my sexuality and this video helped me a lot in figuring that out!

  • @ashgrayson2656
    @ashgrayson2656 4 года назад +13

    I only recently started questioning my sexuality because i started getting a tiny crush on a same sex friend that I'd known for 2 years and that's where i discovered my possible bisexuality, but I'm still confused about my Demisexual/romantic parts cuz i don't know if I'm one or the other or both?

    • @dienamix
      @dienamix 4 года назад

      This same thing happened to me I’m really confused on which I am

  • @jordonboom5576
    @jordonboom5576 2 года назад

    Thank you for explaining this to me, because I have no one to explain this to me growing up

  • @avadickey3234
    @avadickey3234 4 года назад +4

    I’ve been doing some research and when you said you had a problem with falling in love or having crushes on your friends I was like DEFINITELY ME(I’ve been doing this for years. I also connected with you throughout the whole video so it wasn’t just that lol). So I’ll do more research but I’m now identifying as bisexual and demi romantic

  • @comet1416
    @comet1416 2 года назад

    This video captured so many of the things I've felt for years. I also love the term "squish", I think it's perfect!

  • @matuili2633
    @matuili2633 2 года назад +1

    When she said "I have what's called a 'Squish'" I actually scoffed and thought "what the hell is she going to talk about now?"... *then she proceeded to put what i've been feeling for years on end into words :)*

  • @cloverkat136
    @cloverkat136 3 года назад +4

    Thank you!
    I keep trying to tell people that I'm demisexual, and their only response is
    "Everyone's like that"
    Like, throughout my life, I've had FIVE PEOPLE , who I'd known for less than a week ask me out, and also if "everyone's like that" why do dating apps exist?
    (Anyway, this video really helped me out)

  • @bloomofthebluerose
    @bloomofthebluerose 4 года назад +2

    Thank you so muchh, I thought I was demisexual for months but I relate to demiromantic perfectly. 👌🏻👌🏼👌🏽👌🏾👌🏿

  • @shynekopiss3080
    @shynekopiss3080 4 года назад +16

    I know for a fact I'm asexual. But now I'm confused on the romantic part, I dont want sex in my life it's weird to me, but I haven't found myself romanticizing over someone before I know I like girls and guys, but never found myself in love yet I'm confused if I'm demiromantic or greyromantic

    • @annymus4502
      @annymus4502 4 года назад +1

      Skyee
      Updates?

    • @shynekopiss3080
      @shynekopiss3080 4 года назад +2

      @@annymus4502 got it all figured out baha, demiromantic and I'm pan uwu

    • @annymus4502
      @annymus4502 4 года назад

      Skyee
      Oki

    • @annymus4502
      @annymus4502 4 года назад +1

      How did you figure out?

    • @shynekopiss3080
      @shynekopiss3080 4 года назад +6

      @@annymus4502 well it's kinda like when a straight person just knows that they're straight, I know that I like people for personality and not their gender. The asexual thing is because I just never really experienced sexual attraction and I don't want to have "it" that's just the way I feel I can't deny it. Then the demiromantic part is because I don't really gain feelings as quick as other people do, I need a good year bond or sometimes I just dont gain that much romantic attraction. It's kinda difficult to understand, but just go with the way you feel y'know, I feel like I do have romantic attraction in my life just not as much as others and at a kinda low percentage lol

  • @your_princesa_isabelg
    @your_princesa_isabelg 4 года назад +13

    Idk if I'm Demi-romantic. One time my friend showed me a photo of good looking buy and asked if he was in room, would I want to do it with him. I said "no" cause I didn't know him very well. I always thought in order to fall in love, you have to start of as friends that's why I prefer not to use dating apps (but I believe people are entitled to use it if they want). I always believed that it always starts of as friends, I never experienced love at first sight. The only time I ever had a crush on someone who wasn't my friend and was on the cartoon character when I was 4. I don't feel like I have any sexual urges either, I've never looked at somebody and thought to myself "I wanna do it with them". Not even with someone I've been with. I may find somebody attractive but not be attracted to them.

  • @TagPlugs
    @TagPlugs 5 лет назад +3

    Thank you for making this video
    It really help me out

  • @Maddieeeeeee-t2z
    @Maddieeeeeee-t2z 6 месяцев назад

    This is so me I kinda knew it I was before but I am extremely confident of it now

  • @Scream_Tail_0985
    @Scream_Tail_0985 5 лет назад +2

    Thank you so much for this video!!

  • @tomuraukami
    @tomuraukami 3 года назад +3

    I always thought I was normal, and I discovered myself as Demiromantic a while ago.
    I only had one crush as a kid, which wasn't based upon romantic interest at all, just sexual interest.
    And I thought that I was just unlovable.
    I was asked on dates a few times but I turned them down, at first just not liking being seen as female in a relationship. (I'm transmasc)
    It was also my Demiromantic side playing in.
    And during Middle school I discovered I was transmasc and very gay, with only a tiny bit of myself saying "I could date a girl"
    I'm such a hopeless romantic.. hehe
    But all this attraction I thought I was feeling, was just sexual attraction.
    I have seen so many relationships in media, and I wanted that so bad..
    Until recently when I first felt romantic attraction for my best friend of 2 years... (Ive never had a friend for that long) now, I will not try to date this friend. They're already dating someone amazing, and I don't wanna intrude. I'm sure I'll be able to fall in love with someone again, just have to be patient.
    A person I really liked sexually, but I barely knew then tried to date me.. I didn't end up happy with it, so I'm here now. 😊
    I still get sad that I feel unlovable, but I just have to keep reminding myself, It'll come soon enough

  • @atalante1853
    @atalante1853 2 года назад

    When I was younger I said 'I Love with my whole heart' because when I knew my Friends long and good enouth I stardet type of child-crushing on them. Now I know what it is called and I am proud!

  • @alonk1060
    @alonk1060 Год назад

    I have only ever developed a crush when i was explicitly told that a friend of mine had a crush on me. And when i learned she didnt have a crush on me any more, i got over it in a week. I don't even remember being all that upset either.
    But i still develop squishes for my friends from time to time. But when someone i dont know says they like me, it's a good confidence boost, but that's it. I've always been open to the idea of starting a romantic relationship with a friend if they liked me. But if they didn't, then i was still okay with it, since we're still friends.

  • @phoenixmoon3
    @phoenixmoon3 3 года назад +1

    Me!!!!!! Hi. 🤗💜🙌🏽🌈 hetero Demiromantic. It took time for me too.

  • @kimelmrod9089
    @kimelmrod9089 6 лет назад +6

    Great just like always :) :) :) keep it up :) :) :)

    • @nevzircon5116
      @nevzircon5116  6 лет назад

      Kim Elmröd thank you so very much!!!!! :)

  • @krumelwahnsinn
    @krumelwahnsinn 3 года назад

    Well hello, while explaining your experience you also just nailed a description of my feelings. So hello fellow Demi-Romantic Pan-Sexual Person, lovely to meet you. I hope you have a wonderful day because you just made mine a hole lot better

  • @jordanmchighlander9365
    @jordanmchighlander9365 4 года назад +2

    I don't know if I'm demi-romantic or not. I still feel aesthetic attraction when I see beautiful women, and may even want to become friends because of that, but I don't feel any desire to pursue a romantic relationship till I've known the person for a while. ("a while" meaning that I've known the person for multiple months and have interacted with them regularly in that time period)
    I guess in simpler terms, aesthetic attraction can lead to a squish, then that could lead to romantic attraction. I don't feel romantic attraction with people I don't know very well or people I'm not friends with first.

    • @user-fy6ov3or7j
      @user-fy6ov3or7j 4 года назад

      From what it seems, you may be demiromantic. Give it time, think about it and research more about the spectrum. There’s aromantic, demiromantic, grey-romantic, grey-aromantic and so many others. After some time you’ll find yourself

  • @MiKe_Az2
    @MiKe_Az2 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing. I think that might be me, and i am scared

  • @fallenstarctat
    @fallenstarctat 4 года назад +7

    I feel demiromantic and demisexual, but can I be polysexual (attraction to multiple but not all genders) at the same time?
    (Im also trans *.*) What would that label be?

    • @Crimson_Cheetah
      @Crimson_Cheetah 4 года назад +2

      Castri-King Yes, that can be a thing and it’s totally valid. I believe the term for it would be demipolysexual, and demipolyromantic if you feel that applies to you. It can be hard to figure out your identity when you’re trying to determine the presence of, capacity for, or lack of feelings, so I wish you luck! I’m struggling with this too.

    • @dienamix
      @dienamix 4 года назад

      I’m late to this but can I be bi and demiromantic I really just learned about demi

    • @fallenstarctat
      @fallenstarctat 4 года назад

      @@dienamix Yup!

  • @gmontezuma6770
    @gmontezuma6770 2 года назад

    For a while I too thought I was Demisexual, but I found that I am attracted to celebrities, and even people I haven’t made a connection with (on a very limited basis).
    After seeing this video, I’m not sure that I’m Demiromantic either…
    Yeah, I still have sorting out to do.

  • @Jujuu2001
    @Jujuu2001 3 года назад +1

    I am so confused if I am demiromantic or not. I feel sexual attraction, I have crushes, once I’ve gotten with a guy I feel some sexual attraction but sometimes I don’t want to be with them or even kiss them. Idk if its just because I haven’t found the right one. All the guys I dated started as friendship then little crushes then dating but I do feel that if we don’t bond i don’t want anything to do with them I don’t think about marrying that person if I don’t feel something with them. Idk of this made sense but please help!

  • @user-dc5wd8jg4n
    @user-dc5wd8jg4n 8 месяцев назад

    Bro it fucking sucks whenever I get a crush on a friend because I know that they want nothing more than a platonic relationship. I only ever get crushes on really good friends but I thought that happened to everyone. NOPE. I REALIZED WHAT THAT WHOLE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT SHIT WAS AND I REALIZED THAT IT WAS NOT A THING THAT EVERYONE HAS OR DOES. I've never felt love at first sight but its hard to explain. Like I can develop romantic feelings if I know you and I've known you for a while and we're friends.

  • @mariadejesusortizgonzalez9507
    @mariadejesusortizgonzalez9507 2 года назад +1

    I've been researching about these things (sorry my English is not very good, so I used the XD translator) and well I just realized that I'm a flexible straight (and that does exist) but that I am also Demiromantic, because I have liked several people, but when I think about a relationship with them the truth is that I would dislike it. I got confused UmU

  • @camiladelavegamiremont9847
    @camiladelavegamiremont9847 3 года назад +1

    I always thought that I was aromantic, but then I got a relationship whit my best friend who knew for 2 years. I love her so much. So can I be demi romantic even though I'm in a romantic relationship for almost 2 years? I'm truly demi romantic or I just find the right person and I'm doing this for attention? Please help!

  • @mysticraven3
    @mysticraven3 2 года назад

    I've been thinking about if I'm demiromantic for years, and I'm still not entirely sure if I am or if I've just convinced myself that I need to be good friends with someone first. I have read way too many friends to lovers books and such. It's still one of my favorite tropes tho so maybe that's saying something

  • @wolfkid4297
    @wolfkid4297 3 года назад

    I can like someone of any gender, since I really don’t care about a persons gender I like them for who they are. Which is why for about a year I thought I was Pan, a friend of mine actually told me about that and it sounded right at the time. But for the past half a year I’ve gone back to questioning because I realized that most pan people don’t actually have to form a close friendship with someone first. So I’ve been doing some research on demi romantic for a few days now and I think I might be demi romantic, I also believe I’m asexual. Although I am wondering if there are other labels within demi romantic to specify which gender/genders that a person will like after forming a close emotional bond or if people just combine another term that also fits. For instance would I say I’m asexual pan demi romantic or asexual demi pan romantic or is there another term?

  • @angieb33
    @angieb33 Год назад

    I am still new to these terms so if someone could help me out that would be greatly appreciated. So is it possible to be both demi sexual and demi romantic? Or is it one of the other? And also could you tell me what the difference is please? Thank you

  • @DinosaurNick
    @DinosaurNick 3 года назад

    I think I'm demiromantic or cupioromantic ... I even thought at some point I might be heteroromantic ... how do I figure out or know what I am??
    Notes:
    I had a crush on a couple boys in school
    I had a crush on a couple actors
    I only fell into a deep emotional love with 1 person despite having multiple partners over the years
    I only had boyfriends
    I'm bisexual
    I'm Agender
    I think men are hot (trans and cis)
    I think women are hot (trans and cis)
    I think genderfluid people are hot
    I think Femboys are cute
    I fall in love or get attached to friends I've grown close to

  • @enoon1894
    @enoon1894 3 года назад

    Oh no we are the same opps

  • @faucisclotsinmyaorta
    @faucisclotsinmyaorta Год назад

    More boxes.... Good.....put yourselves in the box

  • @niallslinger
    @niallslinger 3 года назад

    omg, i can relate

  • @lauradipino3742
    @lauradipino3742 4 года назад +3

    omg same thing, 5 years ago I realized I was bisexual came out and thought my questioning fase ended. instead a couple months ago I went to the same exact thought process as you

    • @enchantedevergreen5329
      @enchantedevergreen5329 4 года назад

      Oh, same. I came out demi-sexual and demi-romantic to my mom and she said you haven't met the right person yet... So I developed a crush on a female friend and me being raised in a Christan household was like "I'm bi!" And told my family (my mom called me a lesbian while crying
      I was wrong
      I realized that yes it would be nice to have a relationship, it's not necessary.
      I am demi-sexual and demi-romantic, I tell people. I am not attracted to them and then I am. I do not get to choose to love but I love someone when I know them.

  • @bloodstone816
    @bloodstone816 6 месяцев назад

  • @jakeschmidt2649
    @jakeschmidt2649 3 года назад

    I’m a carrot 🥕