I’ve ran into so many disagreements because I don’t know how to use a good, relatable tone. I don’t even pay attention to tones tbh. I focused more on words but thanks to this video I can understand what people have been saying
This is great for relationships too. This is a great breakdown! I like that you said people give more weight to the nonverbal cues over actual words spoken & that a frustrated tone is almost always taken as a personal attack to the listener(s). So very true!
I'm a speech language pathologist and I have loved many of your videos! I have worked with adults, high schoolers and now with junior high schoolers. You have clear explanations and good examples. I've gotten positive feedback from the students when I show your videos. It helps them understand more and they share personal information more easily after seeing your videos. Thank you so much.
A tone of voice really is a far bigger tell about a person's attitude than the words they speak and far more truthful. For it is an unconscious behavior not easily hidden. Some shout their heart tone while others may just whisper.
My tone is mad. The person says "you sound mad." I say "yeah" in the aggravated tone and they tell me to fix my tone. I communicated my feelings completely. Maybe I misunderstood their tone of "you sound mad." I don't think the average lay person knows when to give advice about tone. Glad I found this video. I can direct someone here and stay out of the problem.
Thank you, Alex! I am a Speech Pathologist working with high school students on social skills. You have provided an excellent description and I really appreciate it!
A fabulous 8.03 min video explaining the tone of voice. Thank you very much! I used to describe this as "the power of intention" whereby you could insult somebody and they would laugh infectiously or pay a compliment to somebody which they wouldn't believe at all. That is how the intention is behind the words and perspires through them.
Ugh. Your example really pegged me. This is something I need to work on. People in the past have not taken me seriously and complained that I have a very sardonic, facetious tone... now I know I can work on projecting sincerity using more than simply my vocal inflection.
I am a speech teacher and I am working with a kid that is working on his tone of voice and this video really helped us. We liked the way you described the tone of voice and how it was like the musical notes. Great video - very helpful! (dictated by student, typed by SLP)
So well said. I learn this from Jamaica. It definitely makes me a better person in delivering signals. While i am sharing this, i hope many more people will watch it
Excellent video. Responding to Anchit Anand (below), My angry tone is triggered when people misunderstand me and show no desire to understand. It comes from age 5 when my mother would hit me because me and my little sister were fighting. My sister was was mean and cruel to me through our teen years and always the instigator. My mother didn't want to know. Now that I have the awareness of my trigger, I can choose to change it.
I am quite a shy person, so it's hard to speak and when I speak it's a shy children tone. People also say that my tone is monotonous and it's difficult for others to hear me. I want to change it to more audible one, have confidence and be more manly rather than that childlike voice.
Tone carries a lot of weight in getting one's point across to the person they're speaking to. It's also something that's really hard to achieve in written conversation. Hence text messages and emails sometimes resulting in a misunderstanding. Great video. Thank you.🌿🌱☘️
Yep, this guy is guilty of not thinking and observing my tone. My voice is deep and im very business & to the oint minded. Not good combination with some personalities and as a leader i want and need to be more encouraging, empathetic and understanding and be able to communicate that in my tone. Great advice !
I am really glad I have come across your site. I have come to realise that my "tone" is coming across negatively. As an educator, it is not very encouraging and is now something I am striving to work on. Both this and your other video on tone of voice regarding mindset are great for me to start focussing on. Thanks.
I am deep down cynical and sarcastic. I never consciously realized that about myself until now, but it could explain people's (strangers) tense tonality when they respond to me. Perhaps I should learn to be more of an inspirer rather than a cynic. Thanks!
This is very well put! Someone I talk to has a lot of issues with tone and don't understand how upsetting it is to me. I think this will help me to explain to him why what he's saying and how he says it are two different things. Thank you for this video!
I'm glad it was helpful. A friend once said to me, "If your tone would make the phrase, 'you idiot' sound natural at the end of a sentence, you're using the wrong tone." The key is, we are responsible for our tone as much as our words. Both have an impact on the people around us.
Like, "I never said, she, stole the money." Or I, never said she stole the money. Example, giving it the tone for me to say, "Then, who said she stole the money? Wow I never thought of this like this. Thanks for sharing this & giving of yourself to us all your time. Ana Maria Cornell. God bless you & all your family ❤
That's a great quote, Norm. Thanks for contributing. Frank Zappa knows about sound. He's amazing. I'm a (former) musician and have a lot of respect for him.
Sometimes i would say things and in my mind i am calm because i know that I am, but to people around me it seem like i am quarelling with them. They would say things like you have some serious attitude, or why you quarelling with me or watch your tone. It frustrates me all because most times sometimes I am calm until i get accused of being angrry until i do get angry which is not good. How can I fix that?
I'm wondering what cues they might be picking up on that give them that impression? I'd say next time somebody says that, just ask them. Say something like, "You know I hear that a lot. I feel calm inside. What am I doing that seems angry?" If you know them and trust them, have an honest conversation and see if you can get more specific feedback.
mming0512 man you took the words right out of my mouth , I’m currently dealing with this and I couldn’t explain it to people , if you gotten better please share .
Great video, Alex. You touched upon the sing-song tone issue, but didn’t talk about how it’s become an epidemic for people, especially women, who end sentences with an up inflection, making it sound as if it’s a question. With my speech communication students, I encourage them to recognize this growing habit to raise their pitch and how it impacts their credibility. Keep up the good work.
I have a video on that and it's called Uptalk. But it's not gender-specific. In fact, it's a huge trend among the males of Silicon Valley. It seems more tied to age than gender. It's most common among Gen X and Gen Z.
Hi I always hear people telling me that my tone of voice is just opposite of what I mean to say and that is my nature. Whenever I conversate with them all I get to hear is “watch your tone" even when I'm having a very normal and casual kinda conversation all I get to hear is “improve your tone". Could you please suggest me some remedies to it?
I hear this question a lot. So, you are not alone. It's difficult for me to give you advice because I haven't heard your tone myself. However, if you are consistently getting feedback that your tone is not good (and you really don't feel negative when you're communicating), I see two possibilities. 1. Maybe you are feeling badly (e.g., frustrated, annoyed, angry, etc.) but you don't realize it. You may just be used to a certain level of bad feelings so it feels somewhat normal to you. If so, you'd still likely be communicating in a tone that is not consistent with the mood of the other people around you. 2. Another possibility is that you have a habit that you don't notice. Maybe you've gotten used to talking with a certain emphasis over the years. Do you ever sound like your mother or father, for example? If so, how do they sound? Do they have a similar negative tone? So, I can't give you any remedies since I don't really know what the core issue is. But, if you figure out what is driving your tone in the first place, then I'm sure you'll be much closer to finding a solution. I hope this helps.
For me, it's no 1. When I feel happy, my tone is happy, positive, and full of energy. However, am easily annoyed. Whenever someone pissed me off, I find my tone is very negative but unfortunately with those who didn't do anything bad to me. How can I control that. Thanks
As someone that had that feedback for a loooong time. You are doing the right thing by educating yourself. Also use your phone! I recorded myself and heard myself back. When I get frustrated or excited my pitch of voice would go higher and louder. I learned that if I went lower and slower people would be more receptive to what I am saying. Hope this helps. Im still learning and I am coaching others now because Ive been told I am an excellent communicator. I am 40 now, I started learning at 20 so its been a while 😂
My tone of voice needs help. I just found you but you will start seeing me around. Help an empath hide emotions and have a respectful caring tone.😭😢 I am misperceived and it kills my heart.
Thanks for the video. I just joined my professional life and i have been receiving few negative responses cuz of my tone of voice. Now i know how can i change my tone. Thanks a ton again.God bless u.
My boss said " the content is good but the tone could be more humble." I think in the business/professional environment i tended to get very factual and to the point. This happens even more when I am nerves or mad. Any advice, as i am an emerging leader.
Hey there. Of course, I haven't heard your tone but based upon your boss's feedback, it sounds to me like he/she is probably right and is trying to help you and your career. And, it is very insightful of you to realize that your tone is driven by your negative feelings. That's the starting place for a change. My advice would be to get to the bottom of whatever mindset is making you get anxious or mad, as you put it. Get to the root of it. What is it that is bothering you and then explore why that is. Is it insecurity? Is it an uncharitable view of other people? Is it an issue with your underlying leadership philosophy? New levels of leadership responsibility can pressure us and we don't always like what we see coming out of us. I once worked, for instance, with a guy who would say things like "People are idiots." It was no surprise then that his tone was frustrated and exhausted. So, figure out your existing mindset and then put some time into developing a revised viewpoint about yourself, your role, and your leadership philosophy. It might feel a bit like you're in a therapy exercise if you're doing it right. If you do that and really invest the time looking at your mindset, I'm 90% sure you're tone will become more humble as a consequence. Let us know how it goes.
Thank you for the breakdown of the sentence with the emphasis on different words, and for correlating body language with the tone. This really helped me to understand where and how I need improve in my tone.
I'm using this for an English II curriculum assignment on word choice tone analysis. 😃 1st we worked on word choice & tone in literary situations. Then this video. After this is the Seinfeild stand-up bit where he talks about tone of voice between him and his partner. He actually gives and impersonations and examples. It's pretty funny, definately relatable, and pairs well with this video for a home school curriculum. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Ppl say iam rude when I speak fast when actually I was like what? I were rude? I just talked normally.? And this hurts me when others say so. My voice and tone is the major drawback I have in life. And trying to change it.but couldn't
Could you give a video of examples of different voice inflections/tones that allow for different communication to come off- such as warm/welcoming, understanding, etc.
I believe my tone of voice is very direct and strong. it is any exercises that I can do in order to modulate my voice and do not come to strong to people, it is something that I need to catch myself and at that moment change my tone of voice... all help will be really appreciated. Thank you
Watch George Lucas interviews. Record yourself. Record yourself with a much better try. Listen to those three recordnings side by side. - - Thats how i would learn to pronounce and effectively talk faster. Not interested in learning to talk faster as my tounge doesnt fit inside my mouth and its a guttural speach that requires a deliberate, slow pace.
Thanks for the video! I love how you gave the examples. I was told that when I deliver a speech that my voice sounds good, the pace is good, but I have to work on the tonality. So this video helped a lot. Thanks Coach!
I loved watching your video. However, I would have loved to have a role play sort of. The reason for this is that, as people we learn differently. I was talking to a friend of mine about tone of their voice. As you know, people can be so defensive when discussing sensitive issue such as this one. So I'm thinking role play with character might clarify it better, Thanx for a good video thou
I tend to think myself as a calm guy, not arrogant. But I also perceive that sometimes my tone of voice is hard for people to understand. The higher I raise my voice, the harder for people to understand. So I try to speak calm, and in that process I also perceive myself as weak in the communication department.
I’ve been told many times “it’s not what you say but how you say it” so I tend to want to sugar coat things to sound “nicer” bc my tone can be harsh I’m told, which is not good either. If I raise my voice to be louder than I sound rude. I look at my husband when I talk to him and my voice is monotonous to the point of putting him to sleep.🤣 I do have some great qualities though🤣🤦🏼♀️
I tell my friend this, “change the tone of your voice” I think she feels like I’m accusing of her for being wrong for some reason and her voice becomes higher and angry, then comes the talking over me and louder before I can explain what this guy is saying. Then she storms off and slams a door. She refuses to hear about the tones of our voices.
Sir i have been impressed as i loved your videos based on communication skills. I have one situation based on this, please can u help me with a strategy, so that i never make this mistake knowingly or unknowlingy. “If in some point we are discussing something, somewhat a point comes, which i believed is 100% approved and pure truth. Then other person disagree, why should i pretend then also that he/she is right anyway? Ok if i pretend in one way, just like that person is right, despite he’s wrong. what should i do? when do i make him/her realize the truth of the point?"
I don't advocate pretending the person is right. You can just disagree respectfully. I have a video on that. It's not about proving the other person wrong. It's about disagreeing with respect. ruclips.net/video/bc9arLqKApE/видео.html
So I’m a nice and kind person because I ALWAYS conscious striving for that. I also always have good intentions. I don’t understand mean, manipulative and narcissist because I am not one. Yet I’m often accused of having an attitude or trying to put people down and being rude because the other person or persons wrongfully reads my tone of voice as such. Even my mom has said this since I was young. I’m desperate and I don’t know what to do! I’m at the point that I literally HATE my voice. I HATE my voice because my tone of voice sounds mean and awful to people. Ugh! I’ve even had clients ask me if I’m mad or upset. And to make matters worse, I have a Resting Bitch face (inherited from my dad’s side-my great grandfather’s resting face looked mean, and my aunt’s resting face looks mean) with a downwards turned mouth! I need help. I’m even considering surgery to at least make my face look friendly and happy to match who I really am.
Great video! I just subscribed..... 😊 The tone of voice and general non verbal cues are so important! They can make or break you. I find that I speak faster when I’m stressed and when I speak fast, I sound annoyed or irritable. I’m really trying to work on this and maintain a nice feminine balanced pace and tone of voice at all times (well as much as I can anyway! :) but it’s not easy when under stress or when someone annoys me. I’m also naturally a very expressive person with my eyes, face, hands, body language etc..... I’d like to be regularly composed even when annoyed. What’s the best way to address this in my favour? 😊
Thank you for this informative video. I also appreciated the Alex's Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills in your link, which I downloaded and read through. It is concise and a great resource! Have a nice day.
I am told I have a tone but no one can ever give me an example... so I’m just suppose to let people do whatever they want and not say anything? I am so tired of trying and being made to feel like a bad guy
I have gotten questions like this a lot. So, I made a video about how to change your tone. Maybe it will help: ruclips.net/video/pH287zxVXE0/видео.html
I've been told that my tone and nonverbals are very simiar to the man you mentioned in your example. And im completely oblivious to it... I need to start working on this now since I'm at the point im my career to where I manage people and expectations more than anything else and that could mean a short career... Any and all comments and recommendations welcome. Thanks.
Hi R B. I do have a related video that I made after this one. It’s called How to change your tone of voice. That goes more into the different efforts you can make to change your tone. If you have not already watch that one, that is what I recommend is your next step.
Omg. Finally i know I’m not alone. Thank you so much! Now I need help. I identified one of the two. I get it from my mother. I keep telling her as well. “Calm down” and she is like “ I am calm”; so now I realize I have the same. My husband and brother keep telling me “you piss people off with the way you speak. Why are you so agitated”. It’s so hurtful. 2am and I’m googling what is wrong with me. Please help 😪
Communication Coach Alex Lyon thank you for taking the time to reply. I have started to be more mindful when I speak. I can feel my tone is definitely bad when I’m tired so sleepy. So now I just stop and walk away instead of continue with the discussion. I’ll do this till I’m fully able to control my emotions when I speak. Also anxiety I feel makes it worse. Coz the thoughts in my head run so fast I try say everything at the same time. So it sounds like I’m angry but it’s just the speed of thought in my head.
Wow, 😯 that was really informative.. I liked the way you explained it, and how to implement this in our practical life😁 And I would like to emphasise on the point that "Eye contact" is also a very important non verbal cue! 👀 Like I've seen many people while they talk, they just keep looking here and there..🙄 and that's not a good sign .. It just shows that they are least interested in talking. Maybe something else is going on in their head🙄.. Like they are not fully involved in the conversation..🤔 If you just show your full involvement while talking,😁 and not just show, if you feel it and communicate to other person with the same enthusiasm.. ☺️ Boom! The other people will automatically feel good to talk to you😁
Is it positive or negative for self reflexion that I feel very self conscious about my tone of voice. My husband told me I always sound like I'm being bossy, but to me I am just communicating a statement. What can I do to improve without feeling anxious every time in case I used the wrong tone? Many thanks.
Stumbled on this video because my tone is not great. I asked my wife, she said I have a tone that makes her get on the defensive.... Now to try to change it.
I have a related video, _How to Change Your Tone of Voice_ . If you search of that and my name, it'll likely come up near the top of the search results.
I’ve been told by many people, my daughter included, saying I come off as rude. Aka bitchy. Or direct. Which I’ve made videos and see what everyone is talking about. But I know that’s not how I feel. I can recall one specific example when I was telling my 5 kids how to play Pictionary. And the youngest was 5 and oldest 15. I was very firm with my words and tone to assure they would listen. But then I see now it set the mood for the game for a more unpleasant time. I don’t know how to fix it and want to
When I am sad or depressed, my tone of voice makes it obvious even though I was talking about a topic that has nothing to do with me or what I'm feeling.
Unfortunately, in our email/texting/private messaging/comments section era, it is way too easy to (incorrectly) fill in the "tone' blank when communicating with someone. This leads to a lot of misunderstanding and misreading of what the person actually meant by their innocent words. An online word war may ensue where there will then be no doubt what the other means. Caps lock on for full effect even.
the idea of emotional intelligence to me indicates to me that people ought to understand that my naturally hard tone of voice does not mean I am angry. It mostly does not. It usually does not. Most people do not seem nor appear to possess such a level of emotional intelligence in this day and age and era and epoch of wokeness. That, makes me angry.
Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. Also, I just checked out your channel and it's great!!! Your style is smooth and authentic. You clearly love God (as do I), and the content is super helpful. Way to go, Ruth! So glad to meet you!
I want to change my tone of voice and I came across your video (: I work in telemarking and I was told my voice is very monotone, I have tried working a lot on it, for example using hand gestures when I speak on the phone, smiling laughing here and there but i still have trouble with getting my voice to not be so plain, just like you said it’s different when it’s in person they can actually seeing your face but on the phone they can’t so Help please and tips I’d appreciate it very much Thank Youuuu!
GREAT Video I think I've habitually learned to speak with a deeper voice as a woman.Growing up with a brutal brother I needed to be tough but now I would like to find my real tone and be free of trying to be deep. Once in a while I feel my voice go up but I think as a leader I habitually go to the safe place of deep.Is it possible to free myself from this. thanks
Hi Alex, I was wondering what advice can you give me on how to have a smoother tone of voice? I feel that by having a smoother tone of voice can give your speech a positive impact towards people when communicating to them.
Hi Desi. That's difficult advice to give because I'd have to hear the sound of your voice to know what you mean. Can you describe what your voice currently sounds like with some detail?
I hate hate my tone of voice!! I have been recording myself when I'm on the phone with my boss or colleagues and when I hear back the recording, I cringe. I'm shy and I sound like a very submissive and insecure person. I sound like an obedient child.
The difference between a male and a female voice is generally pitch, which could be argued as a tone. However, I believe what you're referring to is a woman having a higher pitch than a man. The tonal quality of a voice is determined by the physiology of the larynx. Manipulating the muscles will change the tonal character of your voice. I am only 2 mins in though...
Thanks for your comment and the information in it. I hope people read your comment and see the distinction. My video is not aiming to be particularly technical. All my videos aim to be practical. When people say "tone of voice," in everyday conversation, they are usually talking about the general attitude their voice (and other related nonverbal cues) communicate. That's how I'm using the word in this video. Professionals like yourself can unpack what we generally refer to as "tone" at a more granular and sophisticated level. Still, in the first couple of minutes (when I was talking about my parents voices), I still think I was referring to their tone in the sense that their voices had different and fluctuating pitches and patterns. Perhaps there are better more specific words for that. I just wanted to ward off questions about the desire to lower one's tone of voice or to make it less raspy, etc. Either way, thank you for your addition. I hope people read it and visit your channel.
@@alexanderlyon Thank you for your reply. I must admit I was being a bit pedantic. And of course, you're right in that most people when they talk about tone of voice, are referring to the intention behind the words. I happen to be researching popular channels like yours that speak about tone for a video I'm just about to record... Believe it or not, I love your channel! Praise comes in all manner of guises...
Great advice. What do you recommend for those employees and managers with regards to tone? I just feel like managers give off an angry vibe that really isn't called for (or maybe it is). How do you know if it is called for? If I'm slow...or get confused, make mistakes..I hate being made to feel slow or incompetent.
Hello Alex, I am frustrated in my new job and have been told my tone of voice is the key. I am learning a new career and I am so excited to have this new job (It’s my dream job) and I am frustrated that I don’t know everything on the planet about this new position. I think this may be my problem. I have been in my former career for 26 years (I knew just about everything there was to know about my former career) and I want to be better and communicate to the people around me in my new job. Please help I am afraid that if I don’t fix this I will lose my dream job!!
It sounds like your inner frustration is coming out in your tone. I think the key to that change is finding your patience because it's hard to fake a tone of voice but if you change what is bothering you on the inside, change your mindset, then your positive change in tone will follow. But, I don't know how to give you advice on your frustrations in a comment section. Life is too complicated for that. But, for my own life, I know that most of my frustrations are grounded in my expectations. So, I just start exploring exactly what I'm frustrated about and see what personal expectations are prompting that frustration. So, are you not meeting your own expectations? Your own preferred self-image? Is your expectation reasonable? You mentioned you were extremely proficient in your last career. Maybe you're holding yourself to too high a standard. If you're starting over in a new career, you may want to start over with your own expectations. It may not be helpful to compare your former skills acquired over 26 years to your new skill level as a beginner. Anyway, just some thoughts about how I'd approach it if it were me. Hope this helps.
@@alexanderlyon Thank you for answering me so quickly. I think you've hit the nail on the head. Your questions are perfect. I will have to take some time and really think about the things you listed and make my own list of my frustrations to reflect on. I have been in my new job for about 7 months. It is an entirely new career with a new skill set that I have never done before and that I have watched others do for 26 years. Most of the people I admire have been doing this job for a long time (the ones I admire and want to emulate). I know it will take time to be as good as them but I am impatient and want to be good now. I think my impatience and frustration shows in my voice as well. Thanks again for the powerful insight and help for my problem.
For me I can’t understand others tone of voice I need visual cues. If I don’t have any I’m not sure if they’re upset or happy annoyed or talking normally. Any tips?
I sometimes practice with my wife while watching a movie or TV show. When somebody is acting a certain way that I can't quite understand, I pause and my wife and I compare our thoughts on the emotions we think the actor is projecting through their visual cues and tone. Usually, in the next scene, the story will reveal was was going on and we can see if we interpreted the moment correctly. Try practicing that way and I'm sure you'll make some improvements. It takes a while to notice subtle differences like that.
Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
I’ve ran into so many disagreements because I don’t know how to use a good, relatable tone. I don’t even pay attention to tones tbh. I focused more on words but thanks to this video I can understand what people have been saying
Same
This !
Same 😂 thats why most people dont like even if my attentions are good 😭
Same!!!
I never had a good control of my tone because i dont understand it hearing different tones but this guy simplified most of it in one video. Good jod!
Personal Reference:
3:10 - "Im Fine"
3:30 - Seven Word
4:28 - End of Seven Word emphasis
4:50 - Visual Cues With Example
6:23 - END
Thanks! A little index for viewers. I like it. :-)
This is great for relationships too. This is a great breakdown! I like that you said people give more weight to the nonverbal cues over actual words spoken & that a frustrated tone is almost always taken as a personal attack to the listener(s). So very true!
I'm a speech language pathologist and I have loved many of your videos! I have worked with adults, high schoolers and now with junior high schoolers. You have clear explanations and good examples. I've gotten positive feedback from the students when I show your videos. It helps them understand more and they share personal information more easily after seeing your videos. Thank you so much.
Thanks for sharing, Ann. I appreciate your encouragement!
A tone of voice really is a far bigger tell about a person's attitude than the words they speak and far more truthful. For it is an unconscious behavior not easily hidden. Some shout their heart tone while others may just whisper.
I am happy to have the similar opinion.
My tone is mad. The person says "you sound mad." I say "yeah" in the aggravated tone and they tell me to fix my tone. I communicated my feelings completely. Maybe I misunderstood their tone of "you sound mad." I don't think the average lay person knows when to give advice about tone. Glad I found this video. I can direct someone here and stay out of the problem.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you, Alex! I am a Speech Pathologist working with high school students on social skills. You have provided an excellent description and I really appreciate it!
Thanks, Shelly. Glad it helps. Nice to meet you.
A fabulous 8.03 min video explaining the tone of voice. Thank you very much! I used to describe this as "the power of intention" whereby you could insult somebody and they would laugh infectiously or pay a compliment to somebody which they wouldn't believe at all. That is how the intention is behind the words and perspires through them.
Ugh. Your example really pegged me. This is something I need to work on.
People in the past have not taken me seriously and complained that I have a very sardonic, facetious tone...
now I know I can work on projecting sincerity using more than simply my vocal inflection.
I am a speech teacher and I am working with a kid that is working on his tone of voice and this video really helped us. We liked the way you described the tone of voice and how it was like the musical notes. Great video - very helpful! (dictated by student, typed by SLP)
Awesome! Glad the video is helpful. :-)
So well said. I learn this from Jamaica. It definitely makes me a better person in delivering signals. While i am sharing this, i hope many more people will watch it
Excellent video. Responding to Anchit Anand (below), My angry tone is triggered when people misunderstand me and show no desire to understand. It comes from age 5 when my mother would hit me because me and my little sister were fighting. My sister was was mean and cruel to me through our teen years and always the instigator. My mother didn't want to know. Now that I have the awareness of my trigger, I can choose to change it.
Tones can be both telling and (oddly) misleading. Thank you so much for these two videos.
I am quite a shy person, so it's hard to speak and when I speak it's a shy children tone. People also say that my tone is monotonous and it's difficult for others to hear me.
I want to change it to more audible one, have confidence and be more manly rather than that childlike voice.
What have you done to improve it?
my girlfriend felt the same. she wanted to improve her childish tone and monotonous.
@@Sabrewolf0 There is a channel called "Improve your voice" it has wonderful exercises. In addition to singing.
@@kb.gaming2052 Good luck for her :)
@@MikotoKenn I've improved a little bit, but I'll try more exercises, thank you.
Tone carries a lot of weight in getting one's point across to the person they're speaking to.
It's also something that's really hard to achieve in written conversation.
Hence text messages and emails sometimes resulting in a misunderstanding.
Great video. Thank you.🌿🌱☘️
Yep, this guy is guilty of not thinking and observing my tone. My voice is deep and im very business & to the oint minded. Not good combination with some personalities and as a leader i want and need to be more encouraging, empathetic and understanding and be able to communicate that in my tone.
Great advice !
I am really glad I have come across your site. I have come to realise that my "tone" is coming across negatively. As an educator, it is not very encouraging and is now something I am striving to work on. Both this and your other video on tone of voice regarding mindset are great for me to start focussing on. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing your example, Peita. I'm glad the videos are helpful to you.
I am deep down cynical and sarcastic. I never consciously realized that about myself until now, but it could explain people's (strangers) tense tonality when they respond to me. Perhaps I should learn to be more of an inspirer rather than a cynic. Thanks!
This is very well put! Someone I talk to has a lot of issues with tone and don't understand how upsetting it is to me. I think this will help me to explain to him why what he's saying and how he says it are two different things. Thank you for this video!
I'm glad it was helpful. A friend once said to me, "If your tone would make the phrase, 'you idiot' sound natural at the end of a sentence, you're using the wrong tone." The key is, we are responsible for our tone as much as our words. Both have an impact on the people around us.
Like, "I never said, she, stole the money." Or I, never said she stole the money. Example, giving it the tone for me to say, "Then, who said she stole the money? Wow I never thought of this like this. Thanks for sharing this & giving of yourself to us all your time. Ana Maria Cornell. God bless you & all your family ❤
Thank you, Ana Maria. I appreciate your positive feedback.
Frank Zappa said music is a "collection of sounds", which is precisely what a person's voice is. All excellent points - thanks for the video.
That's a great quote, Norm. Thanks for contributing. Frank Zappa knows about sound. He's amazing. I'm a (former) musician and have a lot of respect for him.
I have ADHD with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and this video helped me a lot!
I'm glad it was helpful, Rod.
Well said. Our intonation destroys or saves the communication
Having worked a phone job for many years, I know that tone is everything. Teaching this to my teenage daughter is a real struggle though.
Oh, yes. Teenagers often have challenging tones!
Sometimes i would say things and in my mind i am calm because i know that I am, but to people around me it seem like i am quarelling with them.
They would say things like you have some serious attitude, or why you quarelling with me or watch your tone. It frustrates me all because most times sometimes I am calm until i get accused of being angrry until i do get angry which is not good. How can I fix that?
I'm wondering what cues they might be picking up on that give them that impression? I'd say next time somebody says that, just ask them. Say something like, "You know I hear that a lot. I feel calm inside. What am I doing that seems angry?" If you know them and trust them, have an honest conversation and see if you can get more specific feedback.
mming0512 I thought I was alone!
Speak slower and make eye contact. No lazy eye lids! Open eyes. This helps if you struggle with vocal tones.
This!!
mming0512 man you took the words right out of my mouth , I’m currently dealing with this and I couldn’t explain it to people , if you gotten better please share .
Great video, Alex. You touched upon the sing-song tone issue, but didn’t talk about how it’s become an epidemic for people, especially women, who end sentences with an up inflection, making it sound as if it’s a question. With my speech communication students, I encourage them to recognize this growing habit to raise their pitch and how it impacts their credibility. Keep up the good work.
I have a video on that and it's called Uptalk. But it's not gender-specific. In fact, it's a huge trend among the males of Silicon Valley. It seems more tied to age than gender. It's most common among Gen X and Gen Z.
Very clear and well explained, friendly and non patronising video, thank you!
Thanks, John. I'm glad it was helpful.
no one is imperfect applying the power of empathy helps alot understanding helping the helper and helpee etc..
Hi I always hear people telling me that my tone of voice is just opposite of what I mean to say and that is my nature. Whenever I conversate with them all I get to hear is “watch your tone" even when I'm having a very normal and casual kinda conversation all I get to hear is “improve your tone".
Could you please suggest me some remedies to it?
I hear this question a lot. So, you are not alone. It's difficult for me to give you advice because I haven't heard your tone myself. However, if you are consistently getting feedback that your tone is not good (and you really don't feel negative when you're communicating), I see two possibilities. 1. Maybe you are feeling badly (e.g., frustrated, annoyed, angry, etc.) but you don't realize it. You may just be used to a certain level of bad feelings so it feels somewhat normal to you. If so, you'd still likely be communicating in a tone that is not consistent with the mood of the other people around you. 2. Another possibility is that you have a habit that you don't notice. Maybe you've gotten used to talking with a certain emphasis over the years. Do you ever sound like your mother or father, for example? If so, how do they sound? Do they have a similar negative tone? So, I can't give you any remedies since I don't really know what the core issue is. But, if you figure out what is driving your tone in the first place, then I'm sure you'll be much closer to finding a solution. I hope this helps.
I see my twin..... I get the exact comments and it's now getting to my nerves.
For me, it's no 1. When I feel happy, my tone is happy, positive, and full of energy. However, am easily annoyed. Whenever someone pissed me off, I find my tone is very negative but unfortunately with those who didn't do anything bad to me. How can I control that. Thanks
Same here
As someone that had that feedback for a loooong time. You are doing the right thing by educating yourself. Also use your phone! I recorded myself and heard myself back. When I get frustrated or excited my pitch of voice would go higher and louder. I learned that if I went lower and slower people would be more receptive to what I am saying. Hope this helps. Im still learning and I am coaching others now because Ive been told I am an excellent communicator. I am 40 now, I started learning at 20 so its been a while 😂
My tone of voice needs help. I just found you but you will start seeing me around. Help an empath hide emotions and have a respectful caring tone.😭😢 I am misperceived and it kills my heart.
Thanks for the video. I just joined my professional life and i have been receiving few negative responses cuz of my tone of voice. Now i know how can i change my tone. Thanks a ton again.God bless u.
😳You know it's not really easy to change our voices you know but the video helped me too😀
My boss said " the content is good but the tone could be more humble." I think in the business/professional environment i tended to get very factual and to the point. This happens even more when I am nerves or mad. Any advice, as i am an emerging leader.
Hey there. Of course, I haven't heard your tone but based upon your boss's feedback, it sounds to me like he/she is probably right and is trying to help you and your career. And, it is very insightful of you to realize that your tone is driven by your negative feelings. That's the starting place for a change. My advice would be to get to the bottom of whatever mindset is making you get anxious or mad, as you put it. Get to the root of it. What is it that is bothering you and then explore why that is. Is it insecurity? Is it an uncharitable view of other people? Is it an issue with your underlying leadership philosophy? New levels of leadership responsibility can pressure us and we don't always like what we see coming out of us. I once worked, for instance, with a guy who would say things like "People are idiots." It was no surprise then that his tone was frustrated and exhausted. So, figure out your existing mindset and then put some time into developing a revised viewpoint about yourself, your role, and your leadership philosophy. It might feel a bit like you're in a therapy exercise if you're doing it right. If you do that and really invest the time looking at your mindset, I'm 90% sure you're tone will become more humble as a consequence. Let us know how it goes.
It's amazing how one sentence can mean 3 different ways or more of what you're really saying.
Thank you for the breakdown of the sentence with the emphasis on different words, and for correlating body language with the tone. This really helped me to understand where and how I need improve in my tone.
I'm using this for an English II curriculum assignment on word choice tone analysis. 😃 1st we worked on word choice & tone in literary situations.
Then this video.
After this is the Seinfeild stand-up bit where he talks about tone of voice between him and his partner. He actually gives and impersonations and examples. It's pretty funny, definately relatable, and pairs well with this video for a home school curriculum.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Ppl say iam rude when I speak fast when actually I was like what? I were rude? I just talked normally.? And this hurts me when others say so. My voice and tone is the major drawback I have in life. And trying to change it.but couldn't
Could you give a video of examples of different voice inflections/tones that allow for different communication to come off- such as warm/welcoming, understanding, etc.
That's not a bad idea. I'll give that some thought.
I believe my tone of voice is very direct and strong. it is any exercises that I can do in order to modulate my voice and do not come to strong to people, it is something that I need to catch myself and at that moment change my tone of voice... all help will be really appreciated. Thank you
Thanks for contributing, Cesar.
I can speak quickly with frustration. I sound and look so rude. Thank you for the tips and for opening my eyes about my tone.
Watch George Lucas interviews.
Record yourself.
Record yourself with a much better try.
Listen to those three recordnings side by side.
- - Thats how i would learn to pronounce and effectively talk faster.
Not interested in learning to talk faster as my tounge doesnt fit inside my mouth and its a guttural speach that requires a deliberate, slow pace.
Thanks for the video! I love how you gave the examples. I was told that when I deliver a speech that my voice sounds good, the pace is good, but I have to work on the tonality. So this video helped a lot. Thanks Coach!
Glad it was helpful, DEZ G.
Grandpa would say: "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." TY for video, very useful.😊
I loved watching your video. However, I would have loved to have a role play sort of. The reason for this is that, as people we learn differently. I was talking to a friend of mine about tone of their voice. As you know, people can be so defensive when discussing sensitive issue such as this one. So I'm thinking role play with character might clarify it better, Thanx for a good video thou
Iam soft spoken at times, so when i repeat what i said ...people usually go "oh!...okay!"...lol
Big issue. To military in tone. Rub people the wrong way. Was told today that I need to go from 6 to a 2 in tone. I welcome your input.
I have another video that might help, Danny. It's How to change Your Tone of Voice." It picks up where this one left off.
Hi Alex. This is very useful for me as I am a tutor at the college, I need to be aware of my tone of voice and that of my learners. Thank you .
Glad it was helpful. I'm sure as a tutor, there's a bi of frustration that can creep in when nothing you try seems to help.
I tend to think myself as a calm guy, not arrogant. But I also perceive that sometimes my tone of voice is hard for people to understand. The higher I raise my voice, the harder for people to understand. So I try to speak calm, and in that process I also perceive myself as weak in the communication department.
I’ve been told many times “it’s not what you say but how you say it” so I tend to want to sugar coat things to sound “nicer” bc my tone can be harsh I’m told, which is not good either. If I raise my voice to be louder than I sound rude. I look at my husband when I talk to him and my voice is monotonous to the point of putting him to sleep.🤣 I do have some great qualities though🤣🤦🏼♀️
Yes, I'm sure you have many other strengths! Ha. I use that line regularly when somebody gives me corrective feedback, "I have other strengths."
Awesome video I use this video as a tool in developing my staff! Thank you!
Awesome. Thanks for letting me know and it's nice to meet you.
I tell my friend this, “change the tone of your voice” I think she feels like I’m accusing of her for being wrong for some reason and her voice becomes higher and angry, then comes the talking over me and louder before I can explain what this guy is saying. Then she storms off and slams a door. She refuses to hear about the tones of our voices.
Sir i have been impressed as i loved your videos based on communication skills. I have one situation based on this, please can u help me with a strategy, so that i never make this mistake knowingly or unknowlingy.
“If in some point we are discussing something, somewhat a point comes, which i believed is 100% approved and pure truth. Then other person disagree, why should i pretend then also that he/she is right anyway? Ok if i pretend in one way, just like that person is right, despite he’s wrong. what should i do? when do i make him/her realize the truth of the point?"
I don't advocate pretending the person is right. You can just disagree respectfully. I have a video on that. It's not about proving the other person wrong. It's about disagreeing with respect. ruclips.net/video/bc9arLqKApE/видео.html
Thank you my momma keep saying that I have the wrong tone of voice💯
So I’m a nice and kind person because I ALWAYS conscious striving for that. I also always have good intentions. I don’t understand mean, manipulative and narcissist because I am not one. Yet I’m often accused of having an attitude or trying to put people down and being rude because the other person or persons wrongfully reads my tone of voice as such. Even my mom has said this since I was young. I’m desperate and I don’t know what to do!
I’m at the point that I literally HATE my voice. I HATE my voice because my tone of voice sounds mean and awful to people. Ugh! I’ve even had clients ask me if I’m mad or upset. And to make matters worse, I have a Resting Bitch face (inherited from my dad’s side-my great grandfather’s resting face looked mean, and my aunt’s resting face looks mean) with a downwards turned mouth!
I need help. I’m even considering surgery to at least make my face look friendly and happy to match who I really am.
Very helpful indeed for both personal and professional settings. Thanks very much!
This is really very educative, explicit and comprehensible. Thanks for sharing, I'm certainly clear now.
Glad it was helpful!
Great video! I just subscribed..... 😊
The tone of voice and general non verbal cues are so important! They can make or break you. I find that I speak faster when I’m stressed and when I speak fast, I sound annoyed or irritable. I’m really trying to work on this and maintain a nice feminine balanced pace and tone of voice at all times (well as much as I can anyway! :) but it’s not easy when under stress or when someone annoys me. I’m also naturally a very expressive person with my eyes, face, hands, body language etc..... I’d like to be regularly composed even when annoyed. What’s the best way to address this in my favour? 😊
I have a related video on how to change tone of voice that might help.
Thank you for this informative video. I also appreciated the Alex's Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills in your link, which I downloaded and read through. It is concise and a great resource! Have a nice day.
Glad it was helpful!
I am told I have a tone but no one can ever give me an example... so I’m just suppose to let people do whatever they want and not say anything? I am so tired of trying and being made to feel like a bad guy
I have gotten questions like this a lot. So, I made a video about how to change your tone. Maybe it will help: ruclips.net/video/pH287zxVXE0/видео.html
Me Too.
I've been told that my tone and nonverbals are very simiar to the man you mentioned in your example. And im completely oblivious to it... I need to start working on this now since I'm at the point im my career to where I manage people and expectations more than anything else and that could mean a short career... Any and all comments and recommendations welcome. Thanks.
Hi R B. I do have a related video that I made after this one. It’s called How to change your tone of voice. That goes more into the different efforts you can make to change your tone. If you have not already watch that one, that is what I recommend is your next step.
Omg. Finally i know I’m not alone. Thank you so much! Now I need help. I identified one of the two. I get it from my mother. I keep telling her as well. “Calm down” and she is like “ I am calm”; so now I realize I have the same. My husband and brother keep telling me “you piss people off with the way you speak. Why are you so agitated”. It’s so hurtful. 2am and I’m googling what is wrong with me. Please help 😪
Hi, Farida. I have a related video on how to change your tone of voice. Feel free to take a look.
Communication Coach Alex Lyon thank you for taking the time to reply. I have started to be more mindful when I speak. I can feel my tone is definitely bad when I’m tired so sleepy. So now I just stop and walk away instead of continue with the discussion. I’ll do this till I’m fully able to control my emotions when I speak. Also anxiety I feel makes it worse. Coz the thoughts in my head run so fast I try say everything at the same time. So it sounds like I’m angry but it’s just the speed of thought in my head.
Excellent video. Alex, you have explained the different aspects of speech very clearly
Glad you liked it!
Wow, 😯 that was really informative..
I liked the way you explained it, and how to implement this in our practical
life😁
And I would like to emphasise on the point that "Eye contact" is also a very important non verbal cue! 👀
Like I've seen many people while they talk, they just keep looking here and there..🙄
and that's not a good sign ..
It just shows that they are least interested in talking.
Maybe something else is going on in their head🙄..
Like they are not fully involved in the conversation..🤔
If you just show your full involvement while talking,😁 and not just show, if you feel it and communicate to other person with the same enthusiasm.. ☺️
Boom!
The other people will automatically feel good to talk to you😁
Good points!
Is it positive or negative for self reflexion that I feel very self conscious about my tone of voice. My husband told me I always sound like I'm being bossy, but to me I am just communicating a statement. What can I do to improve without feeling anxious every time in case I used the wrong tone?
Many thanks.
Excellent. The reference to music will enable me to deliver a better example of tone.
Hi, Stephen. Glad it was helpful. Thanks for the encouragement.
Hey! I just watched your video till the end and what if my family doesn't know my toner voice! Who can tell me that! 😄
I love this l have a cool tone of voice even if am cross you wont tell😂
Stumbled on this video because my tone is not great. I asked my wife, she said I have a tone that makes her get on the defensive.... Now to try to change it.
I have a related video, _How to Change Your Tone of Voice_ . If you search of that and my name, it'll likely come up near the top of the search results.
I’ve been told by many people, my daughter included, saying I come off as rude. Aka bitchy. Or direct. Which I’ve made videos and see what everyone is talking about. But I know that’s not how I feel. I can recall one specific example when I was telling my 5 kids how to play Pictionary. And the youngest was 5 and oldest 15. I was very firm with my words and tone to assure they would listen. But then I see now it set the mood for the game for a more unpleasant time. I don’t know how to fix it and want to
Hi, Elle. I have a related video on how to change tone a voice that has been pretty helpful. You could take a look at that.
Thanks for these two videos!
Glad they were helpful, Anthony.
When I am sad or depressed, my tone of voice makes it obvious even though I was talking about a topic that has nothing to do with me or what I'm feeling.
I know what you mean. The tone comes through like that.
@@alexanderlyon People complain that I have a crying voice. Those are the times that I am going through something tough for me.
great video as a refresher / reminder how to communicate effectively
Nice one sir! Well mostly people consider my tone as warming and welcoming n indeed really it help me a lot in my communication
Keep it up!
Thank you very much. This video is very helpful and informative.
Much respect 🌸👏🏽🌹 Thanks to the moon and back 💕
Glad it was helpful, Hajar. I'd say "tone" has a much bigger influence than our words in terms of how we come across.
God bless you, coach.
Unfortunately, in our email/texting/private messaging/comments section era, it is way too easy to (incorrectly) fill in the "tone' blank when communicating with someone.
This leads to a lot of misunderstanding and misreading of what the person actually meant by their innocent words.
An online word war may ensue where there will then be no doubt what the other means. Caps lock on for full effect even.
the idea of emotional intelligence to me indicates to me that people ought to understand that my naturally hard tone of voice does not mean I am angry. It mostly does not. It usually does not. Most people do not seem nor appear to possess such a level of emotional intelligence in this day and age and era and epoch of wokeness. That, makes me angry.
It's a vicious cycle of people mistakenly thinking you're angry that makes you angry.
Thanks Alex. I really enjoyed your video. I did not think this way before.
Great content! I agree...Tone is just 1 part but a very important one! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. Also, I just checked out your channel and it's great!!! Your style is smooth and authentic. You clearly love God (as do I), and the content is super helpful. Way to go, Ruth! So glad to meet you!
Communication Coach Alex Lyon Thank You 🙏🏾
very helpful video
thanks ☺😊
I want to change my tone of voice and I came across your video (: I work in telemarking and I was told my voice is very monotone, I have tried working a lot on it, for example using hand gestures when I speak on the phone, smiling laughing here and there but i still have trouble with getting my voice to not be so plain, just like you said it’s different when it’s in person they can actually seeing your face but on the phone they can’t so Help please and tips I’d appreciate it very much Thank Youuuu!
I just posted another video on "how to change your tone" a few weeks ago. Maybe that will offer you something.
Excellent video, thank you for putting it so clearly
Thanks, Marsha. Glad it was helpful.
Thank you. I have learned a lot from watching your videos.
Any suggestions for working with a teen that consistently uses an angry/annoyed tone when communicating with older adults/parents? Thank you
I have a related video on How to Change Your Tone. I talk about anger in it.
You have explained it so well
GREAT Video I think I've habitually learned to speak with a deeper voice as a woman.Growing up with a brutal brother I needed to be tough but now I would like to find my real tone and be free of trying to be deep. Once in a while I feel my voice go up but I think as a leader I habitually go to the safe place of deep.Is it possible to free myself from this. thanks
thank you! But, where come the picture behind you from?
Thank you very much for the tips given
Dale Carnegie said: "the tone must be pitched forward". what does it mean?
This video, "Tone Of Voice" is awesome 👌
I have a related video on *_how to change your tone of voice_* that takes it a little further. ruclips.net/video/pH287zxVXE0/видео.html
Awe that's kind, thanks
Thanks helped me to complete my homework
Happy to help.
Hi Alex, I was wondering what advice can you give me on how to have a smoother tone of voice? I feel that by having a smoother tone of voice can give your speech a positive impact towards people when communicating to them.
Hi Desi. That's difficult advice to give because I'd have to hear the sound of your voice to know what you mean. Can you describe what your voice currently sounds like with some detail?
I guess what my real question was would be how can I develop a more free flowing sound in my voice for when I speak?
@@desiarias7071 This video might be more of what you're looking for. ruclips.net/video/41ZBTgYSl0c/видео.html
I hate hate my tone of voice!! I have been recording myself when I'm on the phone with my boss or colleagues and when I hear back the recording, I cringe. I'm shy and I sound like a very submissive and insecure person. I sound like an obedient child.
The difference between a male and a female voice is generally pitch, which could be argued as a tone. However, I believe what you're referring to is a woman having a higher pitch than a man. The tonal quality of a voice is determined by the physiology of the larynx. Manipulating the muscles will change the tonal character of your voice. I am only 2 mins in though...
The non-verbal stuff, of course you're correct.
Sorry, I'm going to stop now, but the emphasis example is more prosody rather than tone. There's not a lot of people searching for that I presume...
Thanks for your comment and the information in it. I hope people read your comment and see the distinction. My video is not aiming to be particularly technical. All my videos aim to be practical. When people say "tone of voice," in everyday conversation, they are usually talking about the general attitude their voice (and other related nonverbal cues) communicate. That's how I'm using the word in this video.
Professionals like yourself can unpack what we generally refer to as "tone" at a more granular and sophisticated level. Still, in the first couple of minutes (when I was talking about my parents voices), I still think I was referring to their tone in the sense that their voices had different and fluctuating pitches and patterns. Perhaps there are better more specific words for that. I just wanted to ward off questions about the desire to lower one's tone of voice or to make it less raspy, etc.
Either way, thank you for your addition. I hope people read it and visit your channel.
@@alexanderlyon Thank you for your reply. I must admit I was being a bit pedantic. And of course, you're right in that most people when they talk about tone of voice, are referring to the intention behind the words. I happen to be researching popular channels like yours that speak about tone for a video I'm just about to record... Believe it or not, I love your channel! Praise comes in all manner of guises...
Great advice. What do you recommend for those employees and managers with regards to tone? I just feel like managers give off an angry vibe that really isn't called for (or maybe it is). How do you know if it is called for? If I'm slow...or get confused, make mistakes..I hate being made to feel slow or incompetent.
Excellent information, thanks Dr. Lyon. Is there any more information about tone of voice?
I have another vide on How to Change Your Tone of Voice. That might be helpful.
Hello Alex, I am frustrated in my new job and have been told my tone of voice is the key. I am learning a new career and I am so excited to have this new job (It’s my dream job) and I am frustrated that I don’t know everything on the planet about this new position. I think this may be my problem. I have been in my former career for 26 years (I knew just about everything there was to know about my former career) and I want to be better and communicate to the people around me in my new job. Please help I am afraid that if I don’t fix this I will lose my dream job!!
It sounds like your inner frustration is coming out in your tone. I think the key to that change is finding your patience because it's hard to fake a tone of voice but if you change what is bothering you on the inside, change your mindset, then your positive change in tone will follow. But, I don't know how to give you advice on your frustrations in a comment section. Life is too complicated for that. But, for my own life, I know that most of my frustrations are grounded in my expectations. So, I just start exploring exactly what I'm frustrated about and see what personal expectations are prompting that frustration. So, are you not meeting your own expectations? Your own preferred self-image? Is your expectation reasonable? You mentioned you were extremely proficient in your last career. Maybe you're holding yourself to too high a standard. If you're starting over in a new career, you may want to start over with your own expectations. It may not be helpful to compare your former skills acquired over 26 years to your new skill level as a beginner. Anyway, just some thoughts about how I'd approach it if it were me. Hope this helps.
@@alexanderlyon Thank you for answering me so quickly. I think you've hit the nail on the head. Your questions are perfect. I will have to take some time and really think about the things you listed and make my own list of my frustrations to reflect on. I have been in my new job for about 7 months. It is an entirely new career with a new skill set that I have never done before and that I have watched others do for 26 years. Most of the people I admire have been doing this job for a long time (the ones I admire and want to emulate). I know it will take time to be as good as them but I am impatient and want to be good now. I think my impatience and frustration shows in my voice as well. Thanks again for the powerful insight and help for my problem.
For me I can’t understand others tone of voice I need visual cues. If I don’t have any I’m not sure if they’re upset or happy annoyed or talking normally. Any tips?
I sometimes practice with my wife while watching a movie or TV show. When somebody is acting a certain way that I can't quite understand, I pause and my wife and I compare our thoughts on the emotions we think the actor is projecting through their visual cues and tone. Usually, in the next scene, the story will reveal was was going on and we can see if we interpreted the moment correctly. Try practicing that way and I'm sure you'll make some improvements. It takes a while to notice subtle differences like that.
Very helpful, thank you so much, keep up the good work!
You're welcome, Morgan. Thank you for the encouragement.