That's a great point that i have not heard anyone mention before, and i believe it, that to stop yelling i need to think and say to myself that i love them over and over, in the midst of the argument
Such a wonderfully helpful video ! I wish I'd seen it 2 years ago when it came out. What's especially helpful is seeing how you react calmly to phrases and an attitude that would push most parents over the edge, in a real-life situation. My difficulty is when I give a 'no' answer, and then my teen son asks "Why?" And when I tell him calmly that I don't need to justify my instruction,he keeps asking me to. I admit to being at a loss for words and then it gets really hard to stay calm and know what to say. I will go over to your website and read up on all your tools! Calmness always wins. As a dog trainer, I often deal with clients whose dogs bark too much. They usually yell at them, but this never works. I explain to them that the dogs think you're engaging with them, and by yelling you're joining in with the barking ! The solution is to adopt a calm voice (and more daily exercise !). Kinda similar w/kids. The calmness reminds me of that Bible story where the Pharisees drag an adulterous woman in front of Jesus and demand that she be executed. And Jesus justs calmly writes on the ground before telling them his famous line, "He who is without sin...." And just for fun, Yoda in "The Empire Strikes Back", whenever Luke excitedly and impatiently demands something, Yoda always answers with a really calm voice and demeanor. Many thanks again for making these wonderful videos.
I am so blessed that your videos came up on my RUclips feed! In this short time you have changed my life! I am reading your book and ordered a few things from your website. I am also working my way through the calm down kit (thanks for offering it for free). I noticed that I tend to yell when I am rushing and not being heard and ignored by my children age 4,6,9. But thanks to you I am learning I can change the lies I tell myself and start listening to the truth.
My toddler keeps staying up really late and when I’m sleep deprived I yell over dumb things and once I come back to it I feel so ashamed that I opted to yell and my poor child doesn’t mean to do anything wrong. I sometimes let her eat in the Living room and then get mad because she spilled something but it’s obvious this is my fault. The other thing is potty training I’m getting to the point where I’m getting desperate and I snap too quickly.
That's a great point that i have not heard anyone mention before, and i believe it, that to stop yelling i need to think and say to myself that i love them over and over, in the midst of the argument
It's been a blessing for me so many times. :)
If there is one thing I need it is to be able to stay calm with my kids ... I'm binge watching all of your calm or yelling videos
You've got this! That desire is a large driving force. Use it to your advantage!
This is great. Thank you for putting this stuff out there. ❤
Such a wonderfully helpful video !
I wish I'd seen it 2 years ago when it came out. What's especially helpful is seeing how you react calmly to phrases and an attitude that would push most parents over the edge, in a real-life situation.
My difficulty is when I give a 'no' answer, and then my teen son asks "Why?" And when I tell him calmly that I don't need to justify my instruction,he keeps asking me to. I admit to being at a loss for words and then it gets really hard to stay calm and know what to say.
I will go over to your website and read up on all your tools!
Calmness always wins.
As a dog trainer, I often deal with clients whose dogs bark too much. They usually yell at them, but this never works. I explain to them that the dogs think you're engaging with them, and by yelling you're joining in with the barking ! The solution is to adopt a calm voice (and more daily exercise !). Kinda similar w/kids.
The calmness reminds me of that Bible story where the Pharisees drag an adulterous woman in front of Jesus and demand that she be executed.
And Jesus justs calmly writes on the ground before telling them his famous line, "He who is without sin...."
And just for fun, Yoda in "The Empire Strikes Back", whenever Luke excitedly and impatiently demands something, Yoda always answers with a really calm voice and demeanor.
Many thanks again for making these wonderful videos.
I love the connections you've made from what you learned in the video to what you already know and understand. Brilliant! Keep it up!
I am so blessed that your videos came up on my RUclips feed! In this short time you have changed my life! I am reading your book and ordered a few things from your website. I am also working my way through the calm down kit (thanks for offering it for free). I noticed that I tend to yell when I am rushing and not being heard and ignored by my children age 4,6,9. But thanks to you I am learning I can change the lies I tell myself and start listening to the truth.
Yes! Great analysis! I love hearing about the change of heart you're having. You're doing great! Keep it up!
This break down is great.
My toddler keeps staying up really late and when I’m sleep deprived I yell over dumb things and once I come back to it I feel so ashamed that I opted to yell and my poor child doesn’t mean to do anything wrong. I sometimes let her eat in the Living room and then get mad because she spilled something but it’s obvious this is my fault. The other thing is potty training I’m getting to the point where I’m getting desperate and I snap too quickly.